Ed Joseph - Parenting Is The Real Arena

Hockey can be an amazing teacher, but it can also take over your calendar, your sleep, your Sundays, and your patience. We sit down with Ed Joseph to get brutally honest about what happens when you’re a dad raising multiple athletes and you’re trying to keep faith, family, and character at the centre instead of letting sport become the boss.

Ed shares his journey from growing up as a person of colour in Ontario, finding identity through sport, and navigating big opportunities that included playing for the Edmonton Eskimos. We talk about the doors that open for talented athletes, the temptations that come with those doors, and the surprising truth Ed learned later: sometimes God opens the door and we choose to close it. That leads into a deeper conversation on fatherhood, mentorship, and why a trusted chaplain or mentor needs to be more than an arm’s-length contact.

We also get practical about parenting young athletes: discipline that corrects without rage, building a “safe place” where kids call you when they’re in trouble, and creating faith habits at home when tournaments pull you away from church. Ed explains why he once “hated hockey,” how he coached to build kids up instead of breaking them down, and how he and his wife stay a team through pressure, injury, and real life. If you care about Christian parenting, sports leadership, and raising resilient kids with integrity, this one will stick with you. Subscribe, share it with an athlete or parent you know, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

Transcript

Welcome And Why Ed Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I saw you struggling there. I thought, okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:07

You are listening to the Gospel in the Game Sports Podcast with your host, Dan Dromarski.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome to the Gospel in the Game Season 3, Episode 2. Sometimes in life you meet someone, and you don't know why, and maybe later on in life they come back into your life and it's for purpose and reason. Today you're going to hear from Ed Joseph. When I was a young man, I was introduced to Ed Joseph. He was a mentor uh to my brother, and he played with the Edmonton Eskimos, CFL football. Uh, lost kind of connection with him, and later on in life, I was actually introduced to his son, not knowing that that was his son. And so uh we had a funny moment where uh his son, Taylor Joseph, who's a goalie who we've had on the podcast, says, Hey, you gotta meet my dad. And he introduces me to his dad, and I'm like, Ed, he's like Dan. And uh we laugh together, and here's Taylor in between us, just confused. But God puts people in your life for a reason. And today I wanted to have Ed Joseph on so you could hear a little bit of Ed's story and listen to this podcast as someone from an athlete, someone who's a father, someone who's a mentor, uh, someone who we're gonna have a great conversation with today about all those things. Uh, here is Ed Joseph.

Climate Talk And Family Life

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Right off the hop. If you could be in any climate, what climate would you live in 365?

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Wow. Okay, so I was born in the Caribbean. I would love to be in the Caribbean, but I don't know if I'd want the heat all the time. Uh, so I I enjoy our climate except for the weather. So you know what? Probably BC.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Probably uh probably BC, hey. Yeah. Okay, interesting. You've you've taken an area of the world where you probably have four distinct seasons. Yeah. Or close to it. Close to it, that's right. The nice thing about where we're at in Western Canada is you don't have to go very far to experience a season. Yes. And there's a running joke that if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

That's right. But you know, my family, um, they love the four seasons. My boys, because they're in hockey, they love the cold. My daughter who's in basketball loves the cold. My wife loves the cold. So here I am in the cold. Yeah, and if mama ain't happy, no one's happy, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:00

That's right. That's right. Well, Eddie, there's so much to discuss. Um, the big picture of today's conversation uh is I want to discuss fatherhood and being a dad of athletes. But before we get into just straight into fatherhood, uh tell me a little bit about um you, you said being born in the Caribbean. Talk a little bit about the younger Eddie Joseph.

Growing Up Black In Ontario

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Okay. Well, the younger Eddie Joseph only had six months of life in the Caribbean because my family moved to Canada, Kitchener Waterloo, when I was six months old. And uh I was raised there up until grade, the end of grade nine, we moved out to Alberta, to Edmonton. So in Ontario, it was it was not always easy. It was the it was difficult being a person of color. Um and where we were in Kitchen Wallloo, very small German town, it was it was difficult. A lot of going through name-calling and fighting, and um, but I grew up with Ben Johnson, the fastest man in the world at one point, and Lennox Lewis, the uh heavyweight champion of the world. So my dad, in order to, we were straight A kids, and in order to not have us funneled into a vocational high school, because that's what was happening to a lot of the blacks coming into the town at the time. Controversial stuff I'm talking about. But uh it's okay, we're full of that. So uh, but you know what I found was um sports really changed things for me in a big way. Uh I would I went from being left out, and my my dad sent us to private school to keep us out of the public school and being funneled. And uh so as often my sister and myself, my sisters, three sisters and myself were the only blacks in the school oftentimes when we were there. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Like we were talking like through elementary all the way through high school, pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Um, I beginning of high school because I started high school, grade nine, there, and then came out here. Okay, and when I came here, I could not believe all the races that were mixed and mingled. So we were about 45 minutes from Toronto, yeah, and a very German town, city, Twin Cities.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

So my sisters actually became 100-meter record holders. Wow. And then I became a 100-meter record holder while we were down there in Ontario. Um, 200-meter champion, high jump champion. Uh, then because of my speed, I was um approached by a football team and uh did very well in football, but broke my arm and my mom didn't want me playing. Uh got into basketball, did well in basketball. Uh, we won, we won Cities in grade nine. And then actually Lennox Lewis wanted to come into my school because he wanted to get out of that. They had him actually go into that um vocational high school. Okay, and he was quite an athlete. He was already 6'2 in grade. He was so he was breaking your records. Yeah, no, no, okay. Okay. But when we went, they wanted to play that school was allowed to compete against all the other schools in track and field, but not in other sports. Okay. They wanted to play in the regular system in basketball. So they were told that they had to do well against my school, which was the uh reigning city champs. Yeah. And so we went over there when we went there to his school, it was like a culture shock getting, you know, going in there number one. And then when we started playing, Lennox was he was their point guard, he was their center, he was he was unbelievable. And we only beat them by two points. Oh wow. So he was actually calling, he called me afterwards and said, Ed, like how do you like your school? And because he was thinking about coming to my school because we did well in basketball as well. But uh, we ended up moving out here. He continued doing uh, he continued boxing and obviously did very well. Uh, he ended up transferring to a different high school. And but uh in terms of my family and and me playing sports, that really changed everything. You know, now everyone knew your name. And people were saying, Oh, I'll see you in the Olympics. And uh, you know, then came out here and uh did three sports again, plus rugby, I think, in grade 10, and ended up uh afterwards uh setting a triple jump record and then an in-house high jump record while I was at U of A uh in a class. What actually I was a flopper, I did the frup Flossbury flop, but Gabor Simene, who was an Eastern Bloc Olympic coach, he was teaching this class, and he would have us do the role, I can't remember what it was called, but you led over the over the bar with your with your your lead foot.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

And uh while in a class, his class, uh I I did uh double major in the phys ed what is today kinesiology and coaching.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

But I did a course with him and I did two meters in his class. So he wanted me to do decathlon, but yeah, yeah. I I should have probably, but I stuck with basketball.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Wow.

Turning Down Scholarships And The CFL

SPEAKER_00 8:56

So my after playing uh basketball at U of A, uh the Eskimos started approaching me. They started approaching me in high school, and my last year high school, I was the only high school player in Canada to get a national team tryout. And the Eskimos, Frankie Morris, he called me up and came to my high school and picked me up for lunch, took me out to a nice steak lunch, and invited, congratulated me for um getting a national team tryout. And then he uh proceeded to invite me to what I thought was advancement camp, because I'd been going to advancement camp where they identify high school talents.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

And I said, Yes, sir, you know, I I don't, because he said, I we don't want you to forget about football, Ed. And we'd love you to come to it uh, you know, what I thought he said advancement camp. And he goes, I said, sorry, I said to him, Yes, sir, you know, I don't want to forget about football either. I I'd love to come to advancement camp. And he said, No, no, Ed, I said rookie camp.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

So here you are getting about CFL rookie camp.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, in high school and and uh national team tryout as well. So I was I was on cloud nine, it was unbelievable. Couldn't go to camp because I was actually at um national team tryout in Ottawa. Uh, but Frankie didn't give up. He called me up, he um offered a football scholarship to the States, which my mom didn't really want me going to. My dad was working at Fort Mac, and I was the man of the house and for that period. And so I turned him down again. Wow. And then he called me back up, made uh offered me a football basketball scholarship, which I thought, well, that's perfect. Because I loved basketball. Then my dad said, There's no way you're gonna go down to the States on a double scholarship and come out with an education. Because my dad was all about education. Wow, okay. And so I turned them down again. So that was the invite to the uh rookie camp. Um, then it was a football scholarship, then basketball scholarship. So they said, okay, if you're not gonna do that, what we'd like you to do is if you're gonna go to U of A play basketball, we want you to do both after your second year. And I thought, hey, great idea. Yeah. So after my second year, um talked to my coach and he said, We we don't, we don't, we can't have you coming back part late way through the season, potentially injured. No, it doesn't make sense. So I turned them down again. And so then Frankie must have thought I was crazy, but uh yeah, all these opportunities here, here, here, here.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Turn down, turn down, turn down, wow.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

So my after my fourth year, he said, Ed, it's your uh it's your fifth year, your last year, next year, it's your draft year this year. We want to draft you. I was like, Wow, okay, I I that's a great opportunity. He goes, but you have to play football your final year. The U of A was not doing very well in football. I was already captain of the basketball team, and we had not made it to nationals, and that was our goal. And I really thought we had a chance of doing it. So I turned them down again. We went to Nationals, ranked number one in Canada, yeah, for the first time in 17 years. Wow. And then on upon returning from Nationals, Frankie gave me another call, said, Ed, we are just gonna put you on the team you don't have to try out. So I thought, wow, okay, I'm your man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Because he was probably afraid that if you offered you anything, you'd turn it down.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. He he they were so good to me. So I did that, joined them, and um spent the year. They gave me the opportunity to learn football football again. I was on the practice roster end of that year. Uh, there was a lot of change. Papa Joe, he was retiring, new coaching staff was coming in. Uh, Bruce Lumberman, he was in charge of scouting, and so he hauled me into his office and said, We want to offer you another contract. And I thought, fantastic. But the year was, though it was very good with football and everything, the lifestyle, the temptations that came with it. Um, I was dating my wife at the time, and I thought if I continued down this path, it would probably destroy our relationship. Wow. So I turned it down. Now, with that said, I patted myself on the back quite a bit for what I thought was doing the right thing. Um, a lot of people say, Wow, Ed, that man, I can't believe you did that. That's that's incredible. Like, you know, you did the right thing, and and I really thought it was, but I never had peace in my heart. Oh, and then it wasn't until not not too long ago God said to me, Yeah, so who opened that door to the Eskimos? And I was like, Well, you did, of course. Who closed that door? I was like, Oh my goodness. Wow, yeah, I I so what I understand now is God opened the door, but I closed it. So um what God will always do, He'll always give you an escape when there's temptation. I was afraid of falling to temptation, and and uh so that fear led me to leave. So who knows what would have happened where things would have gone.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

But interesting perspective. You know, I I've never really thought of it that way because so often I we we always think of God as the one of opening doors, and we don't necessarily think of him as one that closes doors, but he sometimes that option's there for us, isn't it? Where we want him to open up things in regards to blessing or job or something, and then instead we end up uh locking it, right? And so that's wow, what a perspective.

Faith At Home And A Father’s Model

SPEAKER_01 15:11

Yeah. So now were you what what describe to me what sort of home were you raised in? You mentioned your dad working, so that obviously meant that he was out of town a fair bit.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Uh yes, he he didn't work, he had his own business, he was a finishing carpenter, worked in town a lot, but there was a period where he was uh looking to uh work. I think opportunities came, work was slow, so he went to work in Fort Mac.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

But he was, you know, very much a man of integrity, very much a man of discipline, very much a family man. And uh, but he he was a strong man in the home, and uh, but he was he was he was also loving and uh loved my mom and really showed me how to be a husband.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Okay, yeah. What was what was faith? How was that shown in your home?

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Good question. So my dad was raised in a very strong faith home. He and my dad was really smart, he skipped two s two classes, two years of school. Uh he was the youngest boy out of many children, uh youngest child, and favored, I think, by his father, which kind of made him a target from the other kids. Joseph. Yeah, but you got it, which is yeah, my namesake. So my dad was raised seven-day adventist. Okay, and then he went away from that. Yeah, married my mom, who was Catholic in the Caribbean, and had to promise to raise us as Catholics, so he did that. And uh I never saw him go to church.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Yeah. And it wasn't until I went back to rededicated my life, because I gave my life to Christ in grade 10, rededicated it my second last year university, uh, because my sisters said, You gotta come to church. I'm like, oh, I'm out of town, I'm busy, I'm but I finally went and loved it. When I when I did that, eventually I became head of men's ministry, got heavily involved with Promise Keepers, with was part of a task force that brought Promise Keepers US to Canada, um, where Promise Keepers Canada started. And the first time I went to Promise Keepers, I invited my dad. Oh, wow, okay. Changed his life. Yeah, it uh my dad was a a good man, a man of integrity. But he came back and he said, Ed, you know what? Well, he saw God working with us even getting down there and getting back because I ended up I ended up registering us late and it was full.

SPEAKER_05 18:19

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

But yeah, we end up getting down there and so many things happened, and we saw God work to get us rooms and to get us back after the guy who was supposed to pick us up in BC uh snapped his Achilles tendon. You couldn't drive, and it was just it was crazy, but it changed my dad's life. Um, he ended up going back to church. He said, you know what, I I haven't been the the husband that your mom needed. And so he totally changed, which I thought he was a great dad and and husband, but he came became even more so. But he jumped into the Seven-day Adventist church back, jumped back into that, brought my mom with him, was very dedicated. You know, he would be a uh deacon, head deacon, wherever whichever church he went to, and yeah, yeah, just a just a good man. So I never did see him go to church, um, but he ran a tight ship at home.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Okay. And you know what? I think you and I have just just talked a little bit before this, and we both agree and have spoken so much about how so much in regards to relationship, faith, different elements of the family start at home and begin at home. And we don't have to look far into the statistics of how life is impacted for a young man or woman when dad isn't present. Correct. Success rate in regards to education, in regards to employment, in regards to life and habits just deteriorate without dad being there. By having your dad's example, what sort of impact did that have upon you when you realized you were gonna become a dad? Did your dad did you see your dad as the bar? Or did you say, nah, you know what, my dad was good, but I got up my game?

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Very good question. I believe when I s started, I saw him as the bar. There were some things that I knew that I wanted to keep that my dad did, and then there were things that I knew that I wanted to change, I wanted to make better. And then I was so blessed in two ways, maybe more than two ways, but besides having a great dad, shortly after Kelly and I were married and we had Taylor, CJCA started.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Oh, the radio station, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

And so I committed that I was going to only listen to that radio station because I loved music, I love going out dancing, I love doing all that stuff, but I really wanted to make a change.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

And so I listened to it day and night, and it was always going in our home. And there were times I just wanted to listen to regular radio and uh I would I would battle that. And sometimes, yeah, I wouldn't. If we're again going out, I you know, listen to some of the old songs, and but I I knew I needed to make a change. I knew there were things I wanted to keep, I knew there were things I wanted to do better, and then I got involved with promise keepers, which really surrounded me with men who were good men, and I was I was much younger than a lot of those men, and they would say to me, Ed man, I wish that there was something like this when we were younger. I wish we had this kind of mentoring, but I was consuming it all. I I loved it. I also um, when looking about at how I wanted to raise my family, we were told, Kelly and I were told, think of a couple that you guys might. Want to be like. And we chose my my mom and dad. I don't know if it was a good choice, especially when you are marrying someone, bringing you don't want it, yeah. My parents are here, and yours are you don't want to be like, yeah, yeah. Um, but what I did was, you know, you know, you're young, you're watching TV, and there weren't many black programs on TV that had didn't have black families struggling. You know, you think about um uh good times and they're always struggling, they live in the ghetto, whatever. Um uh there was another show I forget, but not many were had very good examples until the Cosby show came along.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah, you know, and it's interesting, and because I think outside of let's take the individual out of the show, yeah, um, I think that's important. I think if you take the writing of the show itself, in the 80s, a lot of the foundational thoughts or pictures in regards to parenting came from the Cosby show, or uh it and it was a lot better than some of the other shows that were even around it and before it, where they kind of touched on family ties and all these other shows in the 80s. But I think for a lot of households, you set your you set your time for a few things when the Disney cartoons came on, when Cosby show came on, and then Wayne and Schuster came on. But we have but you're right.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Right. And so when I saw that, that I thought that's how I want my family to be. There was a successful mom, a successful dad, and there were, and I just happened to grow up being the only boy and four kids, and there was a boy and three sisters, and they were they were going places, they were achieving things. They and then what the dad brought into that home, I thought they made him a little foolish, but goofy, yeah, and I guess that may be the better word, yeah. But I liked the humor that he brought in. I would have like, because I saw my dad being very serious, and then there's this dad that was always playing and whatever. So I wanted to be, I wanted humor in my family, and so that's what I looked to do. I I did it when I was with my friends, so I I brought into my family as well.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

You mentioned mentors, and so I was like, there's gotta be a mentor in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Well, it started with my dad, and then my pastor, um, Pastor Johnny Collins, who was uh

Mentors Promise Keepers And Strong Men

SPEAKER_00 24:53

he was also the chaplain with the Eskimos, and I helped him to uh start his church, Edmonton Community Worship Hour, along with uh Brian Warren, who was with the Eskimos, and went on to uh um play with Toronto and and on Hundred Henley Street, hosted their 700 columns. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and just an unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable brother. And uh really, you know, just walked Kelly and I through our relationship as well. And so he was actually a uh good brother that I walked with and a mentor. Just man, he was just so wise beyond his years. And then with Promise Keepers, I had lots of men around there and you know, just going to weekly meetings or whatever as we were trying to get things together and getting the first Promise Keepers event in Edmonton and and the most success, sorry, the first was in Red Deer, and then the most successful was in Edmonton. I think we had 12,000 men and just so I was surrounded by good men and then good programming, focused on the family. I, you know, listened to that religiously, Charles Stanley, you know, I just found all kinds of uh whatever I could. I was just eating it up.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

It it's um interesting who's has resources and what resources are used.

What A Team Chaplain Really Does

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Um you mentioned your chaplain, being a hockey chaplain, knowing a little bit about chaplain C. Explain to me what a football chaplain looks like and what sort of relationship is like outside of maybe meetings with a team. What does a relationship with a chaplain look like?

SPEAKER_00 26:43

So my relationship may have been a little different because I was also at his church, and then I was also very close to him, and I was I ended up becoming on church board and and uh heading up many minist ministries, but he was a friend, is how I considered him. Um so what did that look like? I probably warped it a little bit because we would have gatherings, Eskimos, and you could bring someone, and I bring him. Probably wasn't the coolest thing to do. Because then the guys were like, Are you kidding me? Yeah, like really and now you know they're mining their manners and to a certain point because yeah, help keep everyone in line, yeah, in check.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Well, I think what I'm kind of looking at, I think you touched on a little bit. I liked how you explained it as a friend, because I think not everyone has a friend who they can call 24-7. Not someone that uh they can sit down with and talk with and they know things aren't going anywhere. And I think the third element of it, someone who's gonna give it to them real. And I think a lot of chaplains really provide that to athletes, where a lot of athletes have relationships with people, and people say, Well yeah, this guy's on this pedestal. I kind of got to keep him there. I don't want to put him down. I don't, I don't want to like if I give him a reality check, like what if I like affect his game or if I impact him as a person, where I think as a chaplain, it's like, oh, I'll shoot straight with you. Yeah, like if you do this, it's it's not it's not good news.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Very good point. And in fact, so with that said, I had exactly that with Pastor Collins. Uh, we were able to share whatever we needed to. He was always straight with me because he was my pastor as well. And I think the mistake guys make when there is a uh uh chaplaincy with a team, they handle it um from arm's length distance. And what they could get from it if they would just bring that chaplain close and uh I to tell you the truth, he was probably the one thing that really helped me to kind of uh stay focused uh with the Eskimos because I there were things and I was like, God can't want me here, he just can't want me here because you know this is happening or whatever else. And uh he probably because I really didn't have my dad to talk to with that because he didn't understand. Um he my dad was a great athlete, but he would put work first and he would put school first, and uh so I didn't have that, but I did have uh Pastor Collins and and I I knew the relationship, I had that relationship, and there were probably other guys on the team that needed that relationship that they didn't know because they didn't know that they could be real with him.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Yeah, they didn't see it as a safe place, probably right. Or I think a lot of even I know I've experienced that a little bit where some people are just like some guys are like, Oh, if if you knew what we were talking about, or if you knew what so-and-so guy was, and it's not just me, it's almost like athletes protect each other. I think there's kind of that sacred code where it's like if you're part of a team, I don't want to disclose secrets about player A or player B, but if I let you into my life, you're probably gonna have that information. And now what are you gonna do with it? Can I really trust you? And I think what a lot of athletes discover is when they have that relationship with a chaplain and they can trust them with that information, player A and player B. Now all of a sudden they're saying, Well, now I have my own stuff to sort out. Can you help me with that? Because I think the one of the things that really hinders not just sports performance, but hinders life is when we take things that were that impact relationships and bury them. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

You know, I believe it's funny because it's there's almost a theme when you look at how athletes would look at a chaplain, how people in church will look at their pastor, how we look at God. And God wants us to come into relationship. And if the pastor is a representative uh on earth, then we need to come into relationship, which a lot of pastors sorry, I can't I can't say that, which there are many pastors that will keep distance. Totally, they were there is yes, there is, yeah, and then the chapel, chap a chaplain within a team as well. If he is willing to hang with the guys, joke with the guys because guys think they can't, you know, and say, I understand it's okay. Yeah, because guys will say some look at the chapel. Look at what you say.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

You know what's funny? I often have language is become a thing where all I would have like we'd have chapel, and we have if you if you curse or swear during chapel, you gotta do push-ups. Yeah, and some of the new guys come in, and even like one time this guy comes in and he goes, Oh, blankety blank, and all the guys go, Oh, oh, and make the guy do push-ups. And then all of a sudden the guy has done his push-ups and we're continuing on our conversation. And uh, I asked a question, and he the guy doing the push-ups knew the answer. So he stands up and says the answer, and then I go, You're right. And he goes, blanket, yeah. And then all of a sudden the guys are like looking at him, he's like, No, he's gonna go back down and do 50 more push-ups. Yeah, but I think you could humor becomes part of that because uh you realize that we're huge, we're human. Yeah, or we have another example of uh I had a bunch of guys over from a team and I cooked a brisket, and we were talking about favorite foods and chatting it up, and we're starting our chapel, and the guy goes, Yeah, like that one time we had brisket at your place, Dan. And everyone looks over at me. They're like, brisket at your place? Like you have brisket? And it was like all of a sudden now there's this open invitation for everyone to come to my place for brisket. And so I think that we have to do that though, as believers, because even as teammates, as a chaplain, or you mentioned even pastors, like don't hold back.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

But you know that I okay, so I would say this the reason you could get to that level is because the guys were not seeing judgment from you. And you know, whether you make it humorous, and you know, you could say, you know what, hey, I understand about the language, not a big deal. This is what we do, but you know what? The only reason that we're looking at language and we make you do that, I want to help you become the best you could be. Amen. I'm not judging you. Hey, you know what? I know it happens, happens to me sometimes, but I want you to be the best you could be. So we are here as brothers and we're gonna keep each other accountable. It's not I'm here and you guys are here, I am with you.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Because God sees us and we He sees us all the time. And if He wants to be close to us, so we need to be able to say, okay, God, man, I am really screwing up. I know you know, and I just don't know what to do. But I'm gonna come to you with this and I'm just gonna be honest. I'm not gonna pretend. You know, I one of my sons, I always tell him, Don't tell me what I want, what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you are what is really going on in your mind.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

Yeah, tell me what's on your heart. And I I've used this the analogy before where it's like, I want to have the relationship with my kids where they're in trouble. They don't say, Oh, my dad's gonna kill me. Instead, they say, I'm in trouble. I gotta call my dad. Right. And I think we want that as fathers. We've talked a little bit about your you growing up, we talked a little bit about your dad, about mentors and examples. Um, you got kids, you got kids that love sports. Uh, we start talking about kids here a little bit. Um, as a dad,

Letting Kids Choose Their Sport

SPEAKER_01 35:04

becoming a dad, now all of a sudden you got kids that are interested in sports. How does that change the dynamics of your family?

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Well, you know, uh, it's funny when because I was so into sports, and when my kids started growing up and Taylor, my first, he wanted to play sports. I was like, yeah, you know. And then, you know. Now he said he wasn't allowed to play football. Is that true? That is true, more because of his mom. Oh, yeah. That is true. Okay, that is true. Uh but Taylor, I coached him in soccer, and then he approached me about hockey, and I laughed at him. And I thought he was joking. I I and he's like, Dad, I really want to play hockey. Because he actually was really good at football. He was really good at basketball. Like we had a hoop in our backyard, and like, you know, these are he's young. And I just thought, yeah, right. Okay, anyway. So then he asked me again. I think it was two years before I thought, you're really serious about this. Okay. He goes, Yeah, dad, I really want to play. I'm like, okay, I don't know anything about hockey, but one thing I wanted to do was give my kids the freedom to do whatever God put on their heart to do. And I think that was a key. Instead of saying, you know what, I really want you to do uh basketball or football, I think you'd really be good. I think, I think, I think I really left it up to God. And then, so Taylor went hockey, and then Eden went hockey, and then Jaden went hockey, and then Raymond went hockey. I'm like, this is crazy. And then Kelly's like, well, you know, Rain has a twin sister, Haven. We should we can't keep that from her. Keep what? What do you mean? Like five kids. It's it's ridiculous. The cost is ridiculous. If she doesn't want to play, she doesn't have to play. Yeah, but she played hockey one year, and uh, you know, now all the kids did extremely well in hockey. Uh Eden and I would ask her, she was really good, but I didn't see the passion. And I say, Eden, every year, are you sure this is your passion? Because I always ask the kids to do whatever they are passionate about. And she said, Yeah, dad, why do you keep asking me? I'm like, I just don't think it's your passion. And then one year she finally came to me after um midget and she was like, Dad, do you mind if I don't play hockey? Like, Eden, I've been asking you forever. You know, and what do you want to do? Asking for permission not to play hockey. I'm like, Yeah, please, please don't. But but uh she ended up going into uh acting and blew us away. So she was a joquett that went into acting. So you have the actors, your regular actors, looking at this joquette picking up okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

No, and by acting, do you mean stalker? No, I'm good one.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

That was good. Okay, some good acting going on there, but yeah, she was she blew us away. Okay, unbelievable. And uh then our youngest daughter, Haven, went into acting and musical theater and wheeling, yeah, blew us away, had us balling, you know, like she did uh what was it called?

SPEAKER_01 38:27

Like musical theater, yeah. Like when you're acting, but you can break out into song and yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

And I can't remember what the show was called, it's something on TV, and Jackman, I think he played in it.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Um greatest showman. That's it. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

And she ended up being the woman with the beard, and oh my goodness, oh I can almost cry thinking about it, and just this is me, this song that she sang, and oh my goodness, it was just she was just so good. So, but all my kids, it's so awesome. I I can't tell you how awesome it is watching them do something that they love. And I tell them, I don't care if you decide you don't want to play, I'm cool with it. I just want you to do whatever God has put on your heart and made you passionate about. And and I watch them and they blow me away. They absolutely blow me away. And just because not because they're playing hockey or Haven got a uh full ride scholarship for basketball after not playing for four years and then going to junior college for two. Um, so she's going to a NCAA Dave One college, but I don't care if they didn't play anything. Um, like she on the honor roll, she got a scholarship for academic scholarship as well. Eden graduated uh on the Dean's list um uh with honors and is working now as a respiratory therapist. Taylor told me he was, which I don't know why he kept it from us, why he didn't share that with us earlier before we said, yeah, Eden, he was dead. I was an academic all-star for five years, all academic all Canadian for five years. Yeah, and uh, but it none of that matters to me.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Literally watching them go to God, ask for his will, and really live it. That that blows me away. Joy.

SPEAKER_00 40:45

I tell you, I I am so proud of each and every one of them, the people that they are becoming, it just it blows well, and not just becoming the people that they are, and just their walk with Christ blows me away. I I love it. There's nothing like it.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Okay, you've you've shared with me this before. I'm gonna bring you into a different emotion. Sure. You said to me one time that you

When Hockey Crowds Out Family

SPEAKER_01 41:11

hated hockey. Tell me, tell me about hating hockey. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Yes, actually, and and thank God for my wife Kelly, because she would say, enough. You know what? You need to be happy when we're doing this because I it hockey really got under my skin because hockey has no respect for anything, for family, nothing. Hockey respects hockey alone. And so what I saw happening was me waking up my son at five o'clock to be on the ice at six when he's a young kid of you know, nine, or you know, the younger ones younger because they started younger. And I'm thinking they're not even getting their sleep. And then us missing church on Sunday because we are out of town or we're at this game, and well, because hockey is playing. We have to get our kid to hockey, or I'm coaching, or whatever. Or yeah, it's a holiday, family time. You got a tournament. Hey, we entered this tournament, and I thought, holy smokes, like really, really and so it made me stop and think, okay, my kids love hockey, they love playing hockey. I believe God has put this on their heart. And He God is doing some incredible things with our children, um, and the leaders that they are becoming and the way they are drawing their teammates to Christ. And it just it's it's unbelievable. But I had to make up my mind, excuse me, that okay, I need to figure out how to get this done right because, okay, God, if this is your plan for them and this is what hockey is doing, how am I gonna do it? Like, how am I gonna make sure that my kids are not playing church, but really representing you, really living with you in their life. How am I gonna do this? And so we really had to start to not lean on the church because it's easy to lean on a Christian school or church to teach your kids about Christ. And you're thinking, well, yeah, we go to church, hey, they're in they're in uh um Bible study, they're in youth group, they're you know, they're doing all this stuff, but really are you don't know what they're learning. And then what are they like when they come home? What are they seeing? What are you showing them? What am I showing them? Yeah, what are you modeling? Right. And so I I always took things seriously, but I had to, you know, we start having some um family Bible studies. We'd have and really, and it's not I really believe that everyone the kids need to take it on their own. And they've seen me do that in the mornings. They come down and I'm in my office. Bible open, um, you know, I'd have my time with the Lord. But then what is everyday life looking like? You're not gonna be in a Bible 24-7. And so when things came up, I did not run from anything. I we dealt with it. No matter what happened, we dealt with it. Um, and we dealt with it respectfully and we dealt with it as a family, which meant we'd have a family meeting if that's what it called for it. There's something going on, if there's someone going, like just not doing what they need to do, they're kind of going down the wrong direction. Number one, I I was into discipline and I had to learn how to do that properly because my dad did it the way he knew how when he was young, which was very painful. And I I started off that way, but I didn't want to be that way, so I had to change that. But living with God in your life, honestly, and showing your kids that making them part of it, it just makes everything easier.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

I love how you said about doing it your way, like how God taking the leading of the Lord. Because I think it's important to understand that we don't neglect discipline or stop disciplining. In fact, the Bible says I use this verse often, is he who rejects discipline is stupid. It says that in Proverbs. And it's like, it's not only about like me myself receiving discipline. Okay, well, if I'm the head of my household, like how am I showing good discipline? Because good discipline requires correction. And the goal is, is the goal is to have a corrected response, repentance from that. And repentance means 180 going from one direction, turning to the right direction, but also we want to have restitution, we want things made right. And so it's not, I'm not punishing you for the sake of punishing you, I'm punishing you to show you that there's a better way, but also so next time you choose that better way. But I also want to have you not living under this umbrella of punishment all the time. Right. Where I think sports does that, doesn't it? Oh my goodness. It makes you it makes you think that you're living under this microscope of like, okay, ready, ready, is he about to do wrong? Slap. Is he ready to do wrong? Smack. Okay, well, that's how we that's what we make a player. But that's not it, is it?

SPEAKER_00 46:42

You know what? It's funny you bring that up. Two things I want to talk on. Um, the first, I will come back to

Coaching To Build Kids Up

SPEAKER_00 46:49

uh um, but you said about disciplining properly. But what sports does, because I believe sports breaks kids more than it builds them up. And I I went through that as an athlete. And then when I coached, I decided I was not going to be like that at all. So I coached hockey because they said they need me to coach. They knew my background, the team that um we were with the organization. I did not want to coach hockey. I did not know hockey. I played hockey in grade two. I was horrible, couldn't skate. So, but they need me to do this. So I I stepped up. We came, we were a horrible team. We came second last. And the next year I decided, okay, if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this right. So I took some courses with the Oilers, with um the Flames, um, different courses, Hockey Canada. And then I thought, I am gonna do this my way. Because what they wanted me to do wasn't working. In fact, our team was losing, and then Kelly would come home and say, Eddie, you should hear what the parents are saying in the stands. I'm like, really? I'm like, like, this isn't working. It's not working, we're losing. So I prayed about it, and I felt that I needed to open our post-game meetings to the parents. Oh. And I had two coaches with me that played 30 years of hockey each. Yeah, they were assistant coaches, and they're like, Ed, you don't understand hockey. This is not gonna work. So then I thought, okay, Lord, am I not hearing you? Like what? So then I went and talked to uh uh coach, oh my goodness, I'm the U of A coach that won for years, and I can't believe I know the exact guy you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

Right.

SPEAKER_00 48:37

Yep. So I went and because he was coaching the men's hockey team when I was playing basketball there. Yeah, so I called him up and I said, uh, coach, um, this is the situation. It's not working, kids don't listen. Um, post-game meetings, they're not, you know, they're gone. My parents waiting, are waiting for me. He goes, Ed, you know what? I I I never had to deal with parents. But he said, what you could do is call it a pilot project, to lay the ground rules, and then if it doesn't work, scrap it. So then I went in and I told the parents, okay, this is I'm gonna invite you guys to the postgame meetings because I need you there because your kids are not paying attention and it's not working. I need you guys just as eyes on your kid, making sure that they're listening, not getting dressed, not you know. So they said, Okay, I said it's not your time to talk. It's just I need you there, just making sure that your kids are listening. What that did was give me an opportunity to preach to everyone what I saw that we needed to do. Totally. Once we got on the same page, we went from second last to miraculously winning cities. Wow. We beat in we met in cities waiting for us, a team that had beat every team by double digits, beat us by 10 10 goals, yeah, like each time we played them. And we ended up having to do a double knockout and we beat them twice. It was unbelievable. But what I believe is if you build up kids, they will go through brick walls for you. Yeah, and that's what those boys did. And I loved them and I I lifted them up. Discipline came when it needed to be there, but it didn't look like I don't, I don't cuss and yell and no, I I talk about it. If I have to bring in their parents, we did that. And one mom told my wife, she said, I go to those post-game meetings so I can make it through my work week.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

Whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

And then uh I was I I sang to them at Christmas, Christmas shoes, and like it was just it was we were family.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

And I built them up and I made them believe in themselves by believing in them and telling them how I believed in them, and they were unbelievable. I bought in. And that's what I've done with my kids. I I believe in them, I really do. And, you know, we go to God in prayer for direction, and I I probably probably believe in them more than they believe in themselves, but we are there to help them make it through those hard times. A lot of parents think that they should buy their way through. Um, they think that they should complain to the coaches forever. I help my kids to deal with whatever is going on with the team so that they can learn to uh what they've learned to do was really be able to their endurance there, and there's a word of them, I'm not sure. Perseverance. Thank you. Their perseverance, they really learned perseverance, where a lot of kids learn that mom or dad will take care of it. Yeah, yeah. And then when they got to a certain level, mom and dad was not there.

SPEAKER_01 51:58

So true.

SPEAKER_00 51:59

And they did not have the perseverance or the tools. Go back to your parked thought. Do you remember what it was? Yeah, no, it was about discipline. You know, I

Discipline Without Rage Or Shame

SPEAKER_00 52:09

the Bible talks about how we hate our kids if we don't discipline them. And I don't hate my kids. And so, but I had to learn to discipline properly.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:19

And so God knew my hurt, and so he enabled me to listen to a broadcast on focus on the family. And so what they talked about was, you know what? When you are angry, because you're angry, you're really angry. Yeah, and I see my dad lose it, and I didn't want to lose it. I didn't want to be like that. And my hey, my dad was doing the best he could with what he knew. And so they'd say, put your child in timeout. I didn't really believe in timeout. Yeah, and I believed in, hey, you know, if if you know the rules, if you break the rules, there's a strap. And but okay, put them in timeout. That gives them time to think about what they did, and it gave me time to settle down. Totally gave you time to come out.

SPEAKER_01 53:04

I got a really funny timeout story. My okay, I have four kids. We're at the point where the fourth kid, my my first kid, he was a black and white. He's black and white thinker, he knows exactly what's right and wrong. You correct him, but he uh lacked empathy. So you'd help him correct, you'd help him discover empathy, and then he would correct. My daughter would she emotional, just it's it was 100% emotional, but she's my daughter, but the same thing. So it's like I gotta correct you because I love you, and then she would just feel awful about it, and then you'd you'd be able to make it right over a nice talk and a cup of tea. My third child, the athlete, was a fighter, tooth and nail fighter, even in discipline, would want to fight, want to like just just full out, and I would get revved up so much sometimes. My wife would be like, Both of you need timeout. So exactly what you said. Both of you needed it.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

That's exactly right.

SPEAKER_01 54:02

And then my youngest, he was self, he was had a self-mechanism. He would do wrong, and you'd say his name, and he'd look at you, and he'd, I'm going to timeout. I'm putting on timeout, and he'd go to timeout, and then he'd come back about like three minutes later. I'm good now, I'm good now. I I went to timeout, I did wrong, but I'm good now. And then we're like, okay, well, that double this up.

SPEAKER_00 54:29

Yeah, you know what? And that's the thing, each child is so different, and that's why we can't blanket how we discipline. But there is, I found for myself, um, following that rule of putting the kids in timeout to give myself time to settle down. And then what I would do is I go into their room, we talk about what they did, and then we talk about the dis them knowing the consequences, and they say yeah. So then now the spanking was under control.

SPEAKER_03 55:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 55:02

And then after that was done, they would apologize, and then we would say we loved each other and we would hug. You'd have to hug. And even then, like, and they were good, they were done. It was done. Yeah, but as a parent, you're like, I can't believe that they did that. You know, you're still kind of brewing, and I have to learn to just just okay, it's done.

SPEAKER_01 55:23

It is actually it's finished, it's finished. And I I think that's really important to point out because I think not everyone's gonna disagree in the method. So I think what you said was really important was what's the goal? What's the heart motive behind my action as a parent, as well as dealing with my kid? But what's my heart, what's my goal out of this? And if you really want them to, do you want them to be punished for what they did? Is that your goal? Because that's a bad motive. That's wrong.

unknown 55:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 55:52

Or are you wanting to do what you want to do because you don't want them to do it? Uh, we had a conversation about one of our teenage kids not too long ago, my wife and I, and my wife kind of said, Why why do you feel so strongly about this? And I said, the words came out of my mouth, I said, Because I see myself in my son, and I know how painful it is to go further down that path, right? And I don't want him to do that. That's why I I reacted so swiftly with that. And I for me it was a big like eye-opener, and I'm even getting emotional thinking about this because I look back on it and I say, I say, I I reacted that way because I love my son, and I I want my kids to be better than I am. And uh, we talked about that about loving our kids. We've talked as well about the joy that we when we see our kids serving the Lord and doing what's right. Um, we struggle with it with being athletes, having children have athletes. Um, some people who don't play sports don't understand the passion that's involved in it.

Church Judgement And Staying Connected

SPEAKER_01 57:02

How can we as dads communicate with our brothers and sisters, our church family to help encourage our children? Because you talked about that, those hard days where you're getting up because not only are is your kid missing church, you're missing church. And then you there's that resentment, or you maybe you feel that there's that little bit of judgment, or someone's looking down on you that you're less than because you're of an attendance record where it's like they don't know the learning that's going on at home and other things. How do we connect with those that are our brothers and sisters in order to encourage support and communicate?

SPEAKER_00 58:06

Well, that's a really good question. Uh, and you're right. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. When you are with a family that you have one child or all your children do sports, you are missing church, and then people don't see you there. They don't see your kids, they don't think you're committed. They think, well, you know, they obviously think hockey is more important than or God. Right, right, right, right. And it's you know, they they need to get things straight, they need to get things in order, they need to, you know, they need to put God first. And so we've experienced a lot of that. And I think as children, it's it's difficult because uh their peers at church, the kids at church, start to judge them and start to, well, how come you're not coming to whatever? Well, you should really come to or youth group even.

SPEAKER_02 59:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:07

Oh, yeah, why don't you and that's that's exactly it. It's a youth, why aren't you coming to youth group? Like, hey, we would love to have you out there. But you know, it's a it's in they don't mean to judge, but it's in a judgy way. Yeah, and like, hey, everyone's coming out, like you should really do this. Like, you know, it hey, it'll you know, and I understand the passion to invite, and I understand that, and it's what is needed, but I think what they need to do is come around and love the person, just you know, hey, how's it going? Inquire about what they're doing, inquire about their walk with the Lord. Just ask them what's happening. Because I know my daughter, she, my youngest daughter, Haven, she uh she was really being pressured to go to youth group, and you know, life was busy, and but they didn't know how committed she was to the Lord, how much time she spent with the Lord. They didn't know that she would go to her junior college and be mentoring her teammates and leading Bible study. They didn't know that before she went there that she was girls that she worked with, she would invite them to her house to have Bible study. And you know, they didn't know any of that, they didn't know that our family was about that at all. So I had to decide after once the kids, you know, they go off now to their sports and to school, we were gonna commit to going to church because now we could. And then just we had to decide to really participate because people didn't know us.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:44

They were we have been you've been there 20 years, now you're the new family. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

And but they see us and think, well, just not really committed. And that's okay. I'm okay with that, but it's up to me to do the right thing when it is time. I can't expect them to know, I can't expect them to even look to pursue that. It it's a different situation we're in. So it's I see it as my job to number one talk to my wife. Hey, we need to get involved. We've never been to Alpha, so we went to Alpha. Hey, and we're talking about this freedom class. So we went to freedom and just the relationships that are growing there with people in our church. Um, just uh I I go to this Wednesday morning prayer meeting, just awesome. Oh my goodness. The guys that I just I love them. I I absolutely love them. And then the relationships develop. So I can't in my eyes, I don't expect the church to cater to me. I believe I have to, I just want them to understand that yeah, we're busy doing something, but we are fully committed to the Lord.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

You touched on something there, and it's good. I think we bring we need to bring this up. So many people, it's not just an attendance thing going to church. So many people go to church to be served. And we talked about this even last episode in the podcast that um every the body of Christ, a finger is different than a toe, toes different than a neck, then an ear, then an eyebrow, all different parts. It's discovering as you go to church what part am I this in this? Because you might be something that's a little more evident, like in like an ear, you might be a mole with some other group, right? But it's like, okay, Lord, how do I what's my what's my participation like? Not just checking the box and showing up. And we I think we discover too that even though we might have the sports background where someone else has a background where we can be a cheerleader for them in what they do and what their interests are, right? Because everyone, we're human, we all have different interests outside of church. Yes, and God's given us different talents and abilities and gifts, and it's um what is it that we can support you in? Right. Uh I found it interesting coming um from being away with sports to coming back to now looking for ways to support where it wasn't it was it would be easy to come back and say, Well, you didn't support me when we were gone. Instead, it was okay, well, how can I find a way now to be interested in what's going on in your life?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:27

Yeah, that's a good point. I was really feeling guilty when so we went to uh one church first after I left the church with Pastor Collins, and then he passed away um with cancer. We went to a church out in Sheridan Park, and it was awesome. And it really gave us time to heal. Um, and it was just really nice. They didn't expect a lot from us, they loved us, they treated our kids great. Our kids were young and involved in a lot of uh different classes. And then what happened was Kelly and I went to church one morning, and I'm like, where are the kids? And she's like, Taylor's been taking them to this other church. Like, are you kidding me? Yeah, so all of our kids are gone with Taylor. So I'm like, okay, well, what are we doing here? Because we need to be at church as a family.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:20

So we now go to well, we've been there for quite a while. Yeah um that church where where Taylor took us and what took all of the children. And um, but you know what, it was really, it was really different because I was when I was at the church that I helped to plant with Pastor Collins, I was so involved and I was so close to him. He'd say, Ed, what is the Lord, what mail has the Lord given you today for me? You know, because God would speak to me and um the Holy Spirit put things on my heart and I'd tell him and it'd be right on, and you know, so we just had that relationship to now where I really feel like a bit of an outsider. So I knew I had to make more effort, put more effort into getting involved. There was a time when I felt really guilty for not being involved in the church.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:13

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:14

Yes, because we went to this church, our family was there, we would go when we could, and I was not involved, like how I grew up being involved as an adult, grew up in the church. But God put on my heart that my family was my responsibility, and that's where I had to really get involved. They were my mission.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:41

Yeah, they were where I needed to really put time in.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:45

So I I dove in and you know I um I I I know people at church, and you know, things aren't maybe great with their family, and they maybe wish they did things differently. And yeah, everyone goes through that walk. But I am very happy to say that I and not that anyone else didn't listen to the Lord, but I went to the Lord, I listened to Him, I did what I need to do for my family, and I am like people say to me, geez Ed, man, how did you like your kids are so successful, whatever? How did you and I I laugh because I really did nothing, I really had to do nothing. And you know, I was telling you about this the other day. It's it's kind of funny because I really did nothing. What I Did do was go to the Lord and He showed me when they were younger. As they get older, they come to me, hey dad. I'm like, okay, where are you in your reading? What's God telling you? So I really don't have to do nothing again. And they're like, Well, you know, well, I'm I'm just reading this here, you know. Well, there was the verse of the day. Okay. And so in my mind, I'm like, okay, well, you really should be doing this reading, but no, I okay, okay. Because I know that God will meet you where you're at. He will. If that is what we say, then that's what we need to believe. It's not my time to ridicule or whatever else. Okay, so what is what would what'd you read today? And then we'll we'll talk about it. Well, what did God tell you? I think maybe he's saying this. Because I know God will meet them where they at, they are at, and he does. And so it starts there, and then they get more consistent with their reading and they hear God's word. And it's it's something that they have to learn to hear God's voice, and that just takes time. And I remember my youngest son said, Dad, you know what? You told me to go to the word. I'm not hearing God. Like, you know, I haven't heard him. So he said, Okay, what do you, Rain? What are you reading? So he said, This is what I'm reading. Okay, get it. Let's read it together. Yeah, yeah. So we start reading it. God is yelling. I'm I'm like, and I'm watching him, and he's like, Yeah, well, I'm and he just keeps reading. I'm like, and God continues to speak to him. Yeah, I'm like, Oh my goodness, like God is speaking to him, but he is not hearing. Yeah, so we started to interpret it together.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:11

Hebrews chapter one, Hebrews chapter one, the first couple verses. How does God in the times of old God spoke through the prop prophets? Now does he speak through his son through the word?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:21

Amen. Amen. I love you it is a living word. It's it's not called a living word just be for a nice name. An active living. And I am our family is a living testimony. Oh and I cannot tell you how many times I need to hear from God, so I just start, I just continue reading where I left off in the Bible.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:42

And God will speak to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:44

And it's it's not before long. God doesn't want to keep anything away from us. We just need to get close to Him and start start reading. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:53

It sounds easy because it is easy. Yeah. And where I I think so many people say it starts easy, but but and it's like, well, it's easier to just look at your phone or watch this video or see this snippet of this guy preaching or doing this or that. It's easy to get hooked on all that stuff. It's easy to listen to a podcast. Yeah. This is where you pause the pause cat podcast, and this is where you like open up your Bible, start reading for a little bit. Then you can come back to us. But I I I love how you did that with with the heart attitude of going back to God. Um

Marriage As Your Best Teammate

SPEAKER_01 1:09:44

in order to have kids, you need a wonderful wife. Um often when we talk about our kids or we talk about sports and other things, I was as you were talking about that, I could and as you mentioned your wife. Um, I think often I don't give my wife credit enough because she allows me to do things that I would never be able to do or even touch or even think of doing unless she took care of things for me to do that. Yeah. Um, how important to you is it to have your best teammate?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:19

Well, you know, I always say how Kelly, when I talk about her, I say how amazing she is. And I don't say that with exaggeration. I really don't. Um, first of all, what she does for work. She works with mentally, physically disabled adults, and she loves them, and she treats them really well. So she's a supervisor and and she has her staff that she watches over. But she treats her residents like real people, which is something that it's a shame that needs to be said. Yeah. But it's it's beautiful, it's it's actually beautiful to watch how she communicates with her residents that can't walk, can't talk. Um but she can communicate with them. It's and they're in a wheelchair. Yeah, right? They are quadriplegics. So it's it's unbelievable. And then she is you know, my son gave me a card, uh Jaden, he said, How I'm the rock of the family. But Kelly is the glue that keeps us together. She, and I know it because when I'm at home and she's not, it's not the same. It's not as warm, you know. It's not when she comes home, she just brings so much love and she's then she starts, you know, um cooking. And I do a lot of cooking, but it's just not the same.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:51

It's not the same. And you know what's interesting? Even when your spouse is not acting in perfection, or like maybe they're having an off day. Yeah, maybe they're grumpy or maybe something that you're still is my wife would be like, what are you smiling about? And be like, I just love you so much. It's like here I am venting and I'm grumpy and I'm upset. I'm partly even upset with you. I'm like, yeah, but you're still cute. Yes. I think it's important to have that, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:20

Yeah, and Kelly uh doesn't like when I call her honey when we're arguing. But uh but you know what? She she is my goodness, the way she works and the way she keeps us on task, the way she, like you said, allows me to do what I do. Um, we're really a team. And you know, she keeps me accountable and um, yeah, and we'll argue and we will, you know, I you know like I am, I am far from perfect, and she'll she'll remind me often.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:02

Honestly, yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:04

But she is um, you know, it's it's funny. If the first thing when she's not home, it's like kids, hey, how you guys doing? They come home. Where's mom? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now where's dad? Where's mom? I know. Where's mom? The dog, like, where's mom? Yeah, like okay, I'm not. Oh, it's just you.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:27

Yeah, so we have a little ledge at the top of the steps, and my dog kind of looks over at me and kind of puts her head back down. Anyone else walks in the door? Oh, come on down, say hello. Oh, it's just you.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:37

And then Kelly has this the intuition that you know she is very good um with her intuition, and so it keeps me um away from some things as well. Um, and I've I've gotten really bad at uh so I got hurt at work and I'm on WCB, and it's been kind of ridiculous. Um, I had shoulder surgery, and and uh it's it's been a challenging time. So and it got to the point of not sleeping, and so

Injury Doomscrolling And A Family Intervention

SPEAKER_00 1:14:12

this is me being a real man of faith. And just you know, just and things just got really bad. So now the kids say, I'm doom scroll, doom scrolling, and I'm like, I'm learning, you know, no, it's called doom scrolling, dad. Like, you know, whatever you think you're learning, you don't need to be spending time with that all hours of the morning, and then I'll because I'll send them things, yeah. And like, what are you doing on your phone at two in the morning? Yeah, I know it's it's horrible. Yeah, but Kelly keeps me accountable, threatens to take away the phone. But I just need to, you know what? I I really got into a bad space. I really did. Yeah, just um worrying, and I and I shouldn't. But I've gotten I'm getting I've gotten back on track spending time with the Lord. And um, and the funny thing is, the kids came home in May because a bunch of birthdays in May.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:05

And before they were leaving, Taylor said, Hey, we need to have a family meeting. Oh and I'm always the one calling the family. Yeah, I was gonna say the son calls the family meeting. Here we go. Okay, what are we gonna talk about? Yeah, um, well, we're just gonna talk about some things. So we you know, we need to talk to you and mom. Okay, so we have the family meeting, so him and his wife, um, and the four other children, and they're talking about me. Oh, I'm like, okay, hold on a second. When did this come about talking about me? But you know what? I had really let um my situation take control of me, and I was not doing the things I needed to do to get back on track. Wow, and so they called it out. And what do you do? Like, here your kids are now doing what you do. What am I gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:55

You know, Ed, I'll I'm gonna tell you something, man. That's huge. Because I think a lot of people would come on, would come on a podcast and just talk about everything that's sunshine and roses. But you know what? Every once in a while you let out a fart. Yeah, you do, right? That's right. You do it, and that, but that's the reality of life. Yeah, and I I just I love as you read through scripture that you just like you see the humanity in so much many people's reactions, and it's easy to look at someone react some way in scripture and be like, Well, that was dumb. And you're like, wait a second. If I was there, hold on, if I was there, man, this would have been way worse.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:35

Exactly right. And I I refuse to um pretend. I ref I refuse to repent, pretend, and I re my kids know if if they are gonna mention something, it's gonna be dealt with. Yeah, they know if we are out, um, and whether it's with a coach or whatever, and something's up, I am gonna talk about it. I will do it respectfully, but it's not gonna I don't push things under the carpet. I do not pretend. So I will not pretend that I am doing everything great when my kids witness it. My wife witnesses it. So I need to I need to be better.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:15

Yeah, and you gotta be real with that too. Like, I love how that is, like, deal with it directly. You've mentioned that a couple of times during this podcast. When I coach, I have a players meeting first before I have the parents' meeting, and always catches the parents off guard because I'm like, I sit down with the players, we have a classroom for two hours, we hash a bunch of things out. What are the do's and don'ts? What are some of our rules? What are our rules for our dressing room? What are the rules for the bench? Here's what we're gonna stick to. What are some things we're not gonna do? And some kids like, I need to sell in chocolates. I'm like, okay, no chocolates. Everyone's like, Yeah, no chocolates. I'm like, okay, but we got a fundraise. What else are you gonna do? What are you going to do then? So I think it's important like make it real and lay stuff down online. And then you have the parent meeting, and they're like, Okay, parents, here's our guideline for a room brought up by your kids. They're all like, whoa, wait a second. Yep, here's our plan for our season, things that we're gonna do, or manifesto, and then uh we're not fundraising by selling chocolates. And you see this one mom's like, Well, but I just they're like, Nope, no chocolates whatsoever, but they will do this. Oh, okay, all right, all right. So I think it's uh important to kind of deal with things, but lay it all out. And I think as we've talked during this time, it's like it's really about discovery as dads, because we're we're learning this, like we like when you become a dad, you're like, okay, you might have had an example of a father, maybe you didn't, maybe you had a terrible example of a father, and you kind of know, like, okay, well, this is what I'm going to do, this is what I definitely won't do, but you're learning. Yeah, and then once your kids become adults, you're still learning. And then that generation that was before you, you become the father, and then you watch the grandparents age out, and pretty soon you're gonna become the grandparent. It's hard to watch, isn't it? It's a difficult process. Oh, yeah. Um, I want to go ask you a couple hard-hitting questions before we get into stuff. I appreciate the time that you've given us, but this is so good. I think this is rich. Uh, we've talked about the church, we've talked about being a dad, we talked about the importance of family dynamics. Um, the Bible tells us to look after the poor, the widow, and the fatherless. As a dad, what is

Fathering Friends And Modelling Service

SPEAKER_01 1:19:30

your role and capacity towards friends of your kids, those who walk in your door, because some of them are the fatherless, aren't they?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:41

Yeah. So I uh I love I love being a dad.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:49

I I I think it is the greatest role that God could have given me. So I love spending time with my kids. And with that, there will be kids. So I like our home to be the hub. Um we the kids when they were, you know, I don't know how many years ago, you know, in the summer, they'd bring over. We had we had Friday night. It was like a throwback, and we would listen to 80s music and dance in the kitchen, and so they bring their friends and they'd be dancing and not not CFCW or CFW. No, no. Okay. I had to I had to learn to pack it away. Okay. But we would uh my daughter has an the youngest daughter has an old soul and she she enjoys old music. Um, but we would, you know what, it was relating to their their peers on a level of not just being this Christian dad who just wants to talk about God. And whenever their peers come over, I have no problem asking questions. And I always lead with questions and just seeing how they are. And there's there always comes a time when they are going through something and the kids will come to me and say, Dad, this is what's happening. What do you think we should do? Or what do you think, you know, and then yeah, I I really love it. And I've had um, you know, um my daughter talk to me about mentoring her boyfriend, you know, and um, so I really, you know, and we've been in situations where we are out and you'll see a homeless person and you buy them food. And so my kids now I I'm watching them do this on their own. And I have to, okay, just be careful, like you know, when you're on whatever else. And but you have to live it, model it. And then yeah, your kids it they'll catch it, they have no choice. That's what that's what we do as humans. You can talk all you like, but they will model what you do. And so um I I really believe in uh doing those things. I really believe in, and that's why I got uh involved with the promise keepers all is also um fathering the homeless um was a big thing because you have men who've never they didn't know their dad or whatever the situation is. And then at church you had uh women who had children and um the dad that wasn't around. So actually my first role um when as men's ministry leader was uh to get men involved in the church. So we would get the wives to fight the husbands, and before you know it, I had we had to train the men and we had to train them to keep their word, be men of integrity, and then we had a man in the head of each ministry except for women's ministry, yeah, and the church exploded, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:57

It was crazy, it's amazing what happens when you follow the biblical model because the Bible tells us as older women teach younger women, be an example, and guys can't have kids. Sorry, everyone who thinks otherwise, is biologically it's impossible. Um women have children, and it talks about the importance of women raising children and teaching the children, and you have the the when it mentions leadership and it mentions capacity and different things. The man's the example. Man, Eve was created from the rib of Adam, and it was like, dude, you were there first, step up. That's right. One of one of a good friend of mine had a wonderful line. He said, We always try and make a big deal of women and leadership. No, the problem is the lack of men that are willing to stand up and be leaders. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:52

It's really too bad because the Bible says how the woman should be uh was created to be the man's helper. And it's not that she's less, it's not that you demean her, it's not that you go out and behave like, well, I'm the man. That would be absolutely wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:08

Um, I put my family first and they know it. Um, I I'm not selfish, I don't go out with the guys, and not that you can't, um, like you know, and the guys, we might have a dinner, uh, whatever together, guys from high school, but no one comes before my family, period.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:28

Amen. And you're the head of security, you're the head of provision, you're the head of all these things. And that means if you're heading it up, that means you're the you're you're the example. You're the rule, you're the rule for it. I love how you said that too, that nothing comes between us. And I think that's important to set up in the ground rules. And I think as dads, it's important to step up and and do that, like or you stand up in the same way an athlete would stand up for a teammate or stand up for someone if you really have that unity, nothing comes between us. And that that's a wrecking ball that can go through anything, it really can. You know, it's I know we're kind of jumping around, but that's all that's my job is gonna be the title of this episode jumping around with Eddie Joseph.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:13

That's right. But you know, my role was to teach my boys how to be men. Yeah. Um, so I do that by showing them how uh through how I teach my wife, how I treat my wife, opening the door for her, how I treat her when we go out for dinner. And then was also my role to teach my daughters what to expect when they're out on a date. So we started dating um our kids. So, you know, they were young, and we start off uh we had three kids at the time, and I dated Taylor the next Wednesday, I think it was, Kelly dated Eden, our second child, I dated Jaden, the third child, fourth week, we dated

Dating Your Kids To Build Trust

SPEAKER_00 1:26:04

each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:05

Yeah, and that's so important. And you're like, and by dating, you can clarify even too. It's like you do you it's important to have that time one-on-one with them.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:13

Yeah, and what that looked like, for instance, Eden was younger and they got to pick whatever they wanted to do. Yeah, and she said, Okay, let's go to the uh uh the um park uh and we're gonna play sand tag. Okay, what the heck is sand tag? So we ended up running into some friends there and playing, and in order to go across, you can't get caught. In order to go across, you have to go on your knees across the sand, and then you had to go through the jungle gym, whatever. And it was crazy, but it was it was fun. And then we went to uh Dairy Queen and had a Frosty. Yeah, and so I'm dead tired. I'm really tired, but you know what? This was my time and go out, and then we sit down with the Frosty, and I could not believe how much she was talking. Yeah, no, it was unbelievable. Yeah, because she's a quiet, you know, she's a quiet girl, and it just like it's just unbelievable. So it's really, you know, spending the time, and you don't always have the time, but you do what you can. And then now they they're adults, and you know, we've gone out for um breakfast, and Haven surprised me when she was in school in Oklahoma uh for my birthday. She got me tickets to a concert with New Edition, New Edition and Bobby Brown and Boys to Men and Tony Braxton. And so we went down there and you know it was it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of people that were old older than they thought they were and wearing clothes that they probably wore when they were. Didn't fit into it anymore. But you know what, it was it was fun, it was just fun to be there with her. Yeah, and then we she went down there and she introduced us to friends. Next thing you know, we're praying with her teammates, praying with grandparents, um um um players on the guys' team. Like it was unbelievable. Yeah, but this is how they know us, so this is what they do.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:16

Okay, I'm gonna put two things together. Okay, follow me on this rabbit chair. Same thing. I have dad and daughter dates and time with my sons, and when we spend time with God praying and listening and in the word, I believe it's that personal time together of dating where you really get to know the person and you start talking about things that you didn't want to talk about before. In the same way you go to some do something special with your daughter, you have that conversation and you just visit and talk. I think what a lot of people don't grasp is, well, what's the point in spending 15 minutes in God's Word and then praying for another 10? When you're a kid and you sit and you're like, what? I remember that time my dad and I we did this, that. We woke up at 5 a.m. We went to the garden, we dug out worms, and we went fishing, and we talked, and we had breakfast, went to pancake for pancakes afterwards, and we went back. I wonder if that's just a little drop of the emotion that we have thinking about that time with our kids that our Heavenly Father has. Remember that time we woke up and we spent time together and we talked? Wasn't that awesome? And then you read a little bit about what I did, and then you thought about how that would apply to you. And then you know, the the sun came up on your drive, and there was that rainbow that came out after the rain, and there was all these other things. I think every once in a while God does things like to give us that little glimpse of like of emotion where we really where we we have this desire as as people of faith to Lord, if I could just love the way you love, or if I could just uh you know what, I don't think we could handle it. He just cares about us so much, doesn't he?

SPEAKER_00 1:30:16

Yeah, I well it's beyond what we can imagine. That I know and I can't even imagine. What I want to say about the dating, um, because yeah, life got very busy with us when we got five kids and it it was tough, but you don't date just because, well, we should date. We should because we have to do this. It's you date someone, your s spouse you start dating because you wanted to get to know them. And then after you get to know them, you don't well, we should go on a date. You hang out.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:54

And so, you know, it went from dating, getting to, you know, and then we hang out. We just hang out at home together.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:01

We just it's never natural.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:03

Right. And we, you know, and now when things come up, they'll ask me.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:09

Because we've spent that time um working on the relationship, and they trust me, I believe, enough to know that they know how I'm gonna react to things. They know that I'm gonna always treat them respectfully, they know that no matter what happens, I love them and we will deal with whatever it is. But I will never be there's no swearing in my house, there's no berating. I don't, I just don't believe in that.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:35

And so they there's it, it really is a safe place. But you know, people think dating, man, you know, but you know what? Just try it. Just try spending time with them. And then, but you don't do it for the sake of dating, you do it like you do it for the girls to teach them. Yeah, when you're when a boy takes you out, you expect, in fact, Jaden is courting, so he's at a whole different level. Yeah, um, but you expect um you that he's gonna um you know, maybe buy you some flowers, um, pull out the chair, um, treat you like the lady, open the door, open the car door. I saw this one gentleman, his wife came out of this building, and he followed behind, but she's sat there and she waited at the door. And he came out, it was an older gentleman, and he opened the door for her. She and then she went in, closed it, went to his side. I saw a young guy, his girlfriend or wife, maybe who knows, went to the door and he passed her on that side, went to his side, opened the his own door, and I'm like, Are you kidding me? But you know what? It's just we need to expect more from ourselves. Yeah. And then teach, you know, your your children to do the same. But you know what's really cool the other day? Um I think Cavan was talking to Rain and something was happening, and but she she was saying how, okay, well, what are you doing? Well, okay, well, I I uh after you read and you pray, do you like spend time just listening to God? Like it was perfect. It was just it was just it was just so good because uh you are watching them um do exactly what God wants us to do. And I remember one of them someone said, you know, we're really lucky we have Taylor. Because when mom and dad die, we have you know, because Taylor was really growing with his relationship with the Lord, and they said, You know, they was like, Well, at least we have someone we can go to that's but it was just so cool. But now they've all yeah grown into that, but it was it was just kind of neat when we were they were younger, and because my mom and dad died, we used to have to be other well, and it's funny how all that stuff was modeled, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:57

And uh, like we talked about like old TV shows and stuff modeling. I remember this old call comedy routine, and the guy was talking about he's like, Oh yeah, you know, parents like when they can get into an argument and something like moms and dads, and so you're sitting in the backseat, and dad usually opens mom's door, and he goes instead he goes and just walks to the door. Mom standing outside. Well, get in. Well, no, what pop in already, come on, let's just go. We're late. Okay, fine. Goes around, walks around, opens up the door, close the door, walks back around.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:33

Come on, unlock the door, open up the door, open up the door right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:39

Fine. It goes, opens up the door, gets in. They start driving. He's like, even if you were in about to get into a head-on collision, you probably would have gotten into a head of cloud and collision and died. And both of you were like in the afterlife, and your wife would have said, See, you even thought you were new where you were going and driving. This is your fault. But it's just like you're the point that I'm trying to make is the examples that you have and the things that you do just integrate into relationship. And I think the closer that relationship is, things come naturally. And it's so great when you see the model that's been given, or maybe you like maybe someone's listening and they've lost their dad or they lost their mom and and they're learning. There's people out there to observe. And I think that's why the church is so important. It brings us back to that connect. Why is it important to go to church? Fellowship, but you have more examples than just mom and dad. Yeah. You have more examples than just your siblings. There's lots of people that God wants to have around you to help you with this relationship thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:46

What I would encourage people, I know we've said a lot, and I I don't want it to make I don't want to make it seem like I do things perfectly or man, I man, I should have started like, you know, I wish I would have started when um my kids were younger. It's not that is not the purpose that we are doing this, and it's not the reason why I'm sharing these things.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:11

If you have not had experiences with the parent, if you've parented and it hasn't gone well, it's okay. Yeah, yeah. All I would say is just start. Yeah. Start somewhere. And now you and it has to start with your heart, love that child, and just

Start Where You Are With God

SPEAKER_00 1:36:31

try to make it through um as real as you can, and just say, you know what? Even if you sat down and said, I really don't know what I'm doing, but I really want to be a better parent.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:42

And even if they're grown-ups, yeah. I think a lot of times we think of a child, when they child, we think of a little kid. It's never too late. It really isn't. And I think those are wise words.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:52

And if you've been an absent dad, if you cross those boundaries and reach out, I think it I think it would blow you away how much your child wants to be part of your family. It might not look like that in the beginning, and you might have to show them that you are there. Um, but just try to do it consistently, even if it's just going for coffee and there's not a whole lot said, be consistent, do it again. And then I would encourage everyone, so this is what we can do, but we really need to go to God. And you could say, Well, you know, I I don't hear him, I don't understood. So get in his word and read. And then you know what? When he brings something to your mind, try to do it, don't pass it off, because that's what God will do. And there's so many resources out there from you know, commentaries, put effort in to really say, okay, I don't know anything about you know parenting or whatever, I need some help, then look at some, you know, some Christian authors, commentaries, do a little bit of work. All it takes is a little, and then try to do the right thing when God puts it on your heart. It really isn't that hard. It really is like the toughest part is wrestling with yourself to do it. It really is. When you go to meet God, He will meet you. I I say that without reservation, and I am talking from experience because I did not know how to I like but I set my mind out to try to do something, and then God brings something. And out of the blue, I'll be why, oh wow, that's wow, that's really interesting. But put some effort in. Um, but really, it you said it's easy, and it is easy. The hard part is battling yourself, not wanting to humble yourself to do those things. That is the hardest part. And then you know what? Try to do it consistently and watch what God does with your life. Yeah, He wants you to be successful, He wants you to have great families. Put your own needs aside and go to Him and say, God, I really don't know what I'm doing. I need your help, and He will step up. I can guarantee you that. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:31

Well, as this takes us to the last portion of our show. I'm gonna ask you five quick questions, and I want you to come up with your best answers, and you just gotta be on your toes for this.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:43

I'm not very quick or on my toes these days, but let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:45

Okay, let's have them right away. If you could be a professional athlete in a sport that you've never played, what would that be?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:54

In a sport that I've

Quick Questions Scripture And Final Lessons

SPEAKER_02 1:39:55

never played. What would that be? A sport I've never played. You played a lot of sports.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:03

This is a tough question for a guy who's played a lot of sports.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:06

What have I never played? Oh cricket? I've even done a little my dad was a cricket player. But okay, cricket. I could do cricket. And what was the question?

SPEAKER_01 1:40:19

Yeah, you could be a pro athlete at any sport that you've never played. Or have you played every sport?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:25

I've played a lot of sports. Can you swim? I used to be on a swim team, actually.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:30

Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:32

I joined because two good-looking girls were were uh on this uh swim team. I was like in Ontario very young, and then they quit when I got there. So okay. But uh if I could play any sport at a professional level, I would I you know what I'd love to play baseball at a professional level. Um, I think you could take it easy on your body, even though the exploding from the standstill is tough.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:01

But I've actually always wanted to box. I used to do that. Yeah, I really, yeah, I've always used to wrestle, I used to box. Yeah, I used to wrestle. Yeah, boy. Wow, yeah, that's a that's a tough one, isn't it? Tough one, isn't it? Okay, next one. If you have a go-to book in the Bible that's you're gonna say, hey, I'm cracking this one open. This is the one I'm gonna read. It's one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:28

I love the old testament. I really do. I love the old testament. Um so I love um I love the story of Joseph.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:41

Um but I also love um the story of uh Joshua.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:52

I I love you know, just you know, because and probably because God just is kin continue to remind him to be courageous. Um and uh I think oftentimes I needed to be courageous to get to where I am today. So I do love that. I love Joseph's story because of uh my namesake and um when I wrestled with uh the whole CFL thing, there was um I I almost fell. I almost did what I didn't want to do, and I remember Joseph, what God brought to my mind was what we were going through in church, and it was Joseph and Potiford's wife. And it really I thought, I need to go, I need to leave. Yeah, and um um and I got up and left. Took my jacket, made sure I had that.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:52

Yeah, I wouldn't be afraid.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:54

But uh yeah, I you know, and and that was the point that made me think if I stay, I might just I I don't know if I could uh do that, um, leave again. So, but Joseph, I love the story of Joseph. I love um Joshua, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:11

Okay. Uh last season we asked everyone if they could go back and talk to their younger self. That's a question we asked. If you could write down a note today in order to deliver to future Ed Joseph 20 years from now, what would you want him to know?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:28

To never forget? I would want him to believe in himself more. Um, know that God loves him beyond understanding and that God has big plans for his life. So no matter what you come up against, believe it and like just put all your trust in God. Um mom was moment of biggest doubt.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:05

Moment of biggest doubt would have been when um of the time with the Eskimos, I just I could not understand why I was there and I was just thinking, God can't want me here. Um but that was probably the time that I'm I'm trying to think any other time that I um doubted God, but I think that was it. And and then I really made a move without really consulting God, feeling that I think this is what God wants, but not really, and I wasn't I just wasn't mature enough. I just didn't know the Lord enough.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:42

Uh go to Bible verse. Oh. There's two that I love.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:51

Yeah, call out to me and I will and I will show you great unsearchable things you do not know. And I remember hanging on that when I was younger and just trusting God for that. And really what he showed me was parenting. What yeah, like just the things that I'm doing now is just God laying it out. Oh yeah, yeah, and just like um the more I talk to men and um like in different groups and stuff, um, I really see that God uh showed me unique things to do. Um and I I have to admit, like, you know, some stuff I got from focus, but just relating and being with my kids. And um, so call it to me and um I will show you great unsearchable things you do not know. The other one was Isaiah 64, 4, I believe it was. Since ancient times, right? No one has heard, no air has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:01

Ooh, ooh. That's a guy, that's the verse that gives you goosebumps, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:46:08

But it's true, and I I have seen that. I have seen that. Um, because it's never a race, it's always the long game. Yeah, and as long as you are consistent and trusting God and playing the long game, holy smokes! Like I look at my family and I am amazed at how my kids are, um all my wife does, and we are so blessed, we are so blessed um just with each other and the it is um like to have all my kids serving the Lord and have five kids, and I uh I can't tell you how blessed I am. But I I mean it when I say I really didn't have to do anything. The smartest thing I did was go to God and then trust Him and then try to do what He's telling me to do. That's the smartest thing I've done, and then the smartest thing I've done as they've been older, whenever they come to me, I don't lean on my own knowledge, I know nothing, and I will ask them like and I will get into like and I'm always giving my opinion. I'm always we're always sharing. But when it comes down to it, and it's okay, what what has God told you?

SPEAKER_02 1:47:27

What what have you been reading? What oh man, yeah, I gotta get into the word.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:33

Okay, well, let's do that then. Let's go, let's go, yeah, and then let's pray. Yeah, like and and you know, Taylor is wrestling with things, we're all wrestling with things, but you know, Taylor and his age and playing hockey, and and it always comes back to like I am so proud of him because even though by human eyes it looks like, well, no, what are you doing, man? You know, I he is listening to God, and I will battle for him no matter what he comes across. If people want to get down on what he believes God will do, I would I would battle tooth and nail till the end because I know he is listening to God. And we've had many conversations, and and I know that when Taylor joins a team, he is not only going to change that team, he is going to affect the community he's in. And it's unbelievable to see what God does, and it's heartbreaking to see some of the things that he goes through. But God is God is just so good.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:49

Me and that kid have had some good conversations on the road and some good praying time, but you're right. Go back go back to God and uh same with boy, all your kids, all my kids. Once you start going through them all, this will be an eight-hour podcast instead of a couple of hours. But uh, Ed, let's uh let's go before the Lord. Let's pray to close our time together. Amen. Heavenly Father, Lord, we just thank you for Ed and the time that He's given us uh tonight. And Lord, we just pray that you would um bless him and continue to use him and his kids. And Lord, I could just see the joy of the Lord in his eyes. And Lord, we just pray that you would use him for your glory, honor, and praise. In Jesus' name we

Closing Prayer And Send Off

SPEAKER_01 1:49:27

pray.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:27

Amen. Lord Jesus, I just want to thank you for opening this door so I could sit down with Dan and we could talk about you, and uh we could give you all the glory, and we could share the great things that you have done with us in our lives and in the lives of our family. Lord God, you've been so awesome. And I just I pray that we've been able to portray that to the listeners. I pray that your listeners, the listeners to this podcast, have um understood that it's not about me, it's not about anything I've done. It's really all about you, Lord. And they have the ability to do more than I have done, more than my kids are doing, just by going to you and listening and and trusting and then moving forward. You are such an awesome God, and we really truly do love you and thank you. We can't thank you enough, we can't praise you enough. And we we don't even have the full grasp of all that you are. That's just amazing. You are amazing. So we thank you, Lord. I thank you for my brother Dan, and I ask you to bless him and his family and bless this podcast, Lord Jesus, and all that he has planned to do uh in the future with it. And we pray this in your precious name. Amen.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:58

We hope you have enjoyed this episode of the Gospel in the Game Sports Podcast. This podcast can grow with your feedback and support. Like and share with an athlete in your life today. We want to hear your feedback, guest suggestions, and comments from what you have heard. With your support together, we can reach more people with the gospel in the game.