Times With Dad
Manhood. Fatherhood. And all the moments in between where we learn, stumble, and grow together.
A podcast exploring parenting, purpose, and personal growth — from the lens of a dad who’s living it in real time. Hear stories about fatherhood, manhood, rebuilding, and everything in between.
Times With Dad
My Life-Changing Turning Point: Living in an Extended Stay
I’m taking you back to one of the hardest seasons of my life — a time when chasing my dream meant risking it all… and nearly losing everything.
The apartment was a disaster. I ended up in an extended stay motel. I was broke, barely eating, and honestly—felt like I was drowning.
But this was the moment that revealed what I was really made of.
This episode is about faith, resilience, and how the lowest point in my journey became the turning point I never saw coming.
[01:00:00:18 - 01:00:17:18]
Hey yo, it's your boy Jonathan, and this is "Times With Dad." And in this episode, I'm going to talk to you about the time I went in pursuit of my dream moving 1100 miles away down to Atlanta, Georgia, hoping that it would all work out. No savings, no plans, just faith.
[01:00:19:00 - 01:00:35:21]
I thought it would, until it did it. Almost left me defeated, almost end up having a vision in my car, end up building my sense of my life. Can you say "Times With Dad"? I said "Times With Dad" to all cities, but first started.
[01:00:36:22 - 01:00:40:06]
Chasing the dream, that's what I was doing.
[01:00:41:14 - 01:00:44:06]
And I knew it wasn't going to be easy.
[01:00:45:12 - 01:00:54:23]
But I felt the dream was worth it. I felt it would bring me happiness. I felt that it's what I should be doing. I wasn't looking to chase a job. I was chasing a career.
[01:00:56:08 - 01:00:58:17]
And that career led me to the South.
[01:01:00:03 - 01:01:11:12]
But how I got there wasn't really how I expected. So I lived in Florida at one point in my life. Graduated high school, two weeks later, I'm out in Florida.
[01:01:12:12 - 01:01:14:19]
And living with my girlfriend at the time.
[01:01:16:12 - 01:01:29:23]
I did that for about a half a year. And I said "For me to really get the life I probably want, I should move back, get a degree and then make life decisions from there." So that's what it did.
[01:01:31:19 - 01:01:56:01]
When I was wrapping up my degree, I bumped into an old friend who was saying that he was looking to move to LA. And I was like "Whoa, I'm looking to go to LA. That's pretty cool, I'm going to know someone out there." And we were set on that until we bumped into a friend of his who was saying that he was just really getting ready to move to Atlanta.
[01:01:57:08 - 01:02:06:16]
And I was like "Atlanta's cool, but I really want to go to LA. I want to pursue film. Film is obviously big in Hollywood, which is in California, so I gotta go out there."
[01:02:08:07 - 01:02:14:15]
And he said "I think you should go to Atlanta because it's cheaper. You get some cool spots.
[01:02:15:16 - 01:02:22:04]
And you know they got Black Hollywood out there." And I'm like "Oh yeah, you know what? It is a big film thing out there too."
[01:02:23:17 - 01:02:25:08]
So let's go out there.
[01:02:26:09 - 01:02:54:14]
And still wasn't sure about it, but I was like "Let's do it." What kind of set me on it is when he said "Look man, I got a two bed, two bath." I said "Whoa, two bath? I don't know any places in Rhode Island. I got two bath apartments. You know, you get in a three bedroom with a single bath." And he's like "Nah, two bed, two bath out there." And I was like "Alright, well how much?" "Something is going to be pretty expensive."
[01:02:55:15 - 01:03:01:17]
He's like "600 bucks a month." I'm like "What?" "600 dollars?" He's like "Yeah."
[01:03:02:17 - 01:03:11:03]
"Alright man, I gotta head out there." So I said "I'm gonna go when I get my money out.
[01:03:12:04 - 01:03:13:20]
It's going to take me a little while. I might need about a year."
[01:03:15:16 - 01:03:22:12]
And my roommate, who was going to be my roommate, said "What if I was your roommate?"
[01:03:23:21 - 01:03:31:17]
He's like "Well, I can do that a lot sooner actually. Still gonna need a little bit of time." Now what happened in this conversation in November?
[01:03:33:08 - 01:03:36:19]
And he said "February 6th is the day."
[01:03:38:06 - 01:03:41:10]
I was like "February 6th?" He's like "Yeah, you got something to do?"
[01:03:42:14 - 01:03:43:04]
I was like "Nah.
[01:03:44:08 - 01:04:14:23]
February 6th is." Now granted, I wish I was the 7th because the Patriots were playing the Super Bowl, but we didn't know that then. So anyway, we was already committed. I'm a man of a word. I'm going out there February 6th. So I go and tell my mom like "Look, I've been trying to get a job here and I told you if I didn't get a job here in a year, then I was going to have to look elsewhere." She's like "Give it more time, give it more time." I'm like "No, I give it all the time." I gave her the year deadline.
[01:04:15:23 - 01:04:22:03]
Now I gotta go down south and see if I can do something out there."
[01:04:24:00 - 01:04:32:20]
And she's like "Okay, I don't agree with it, but you know, you're an adult. You do what's best for you." And I felt that was best for me.
[01:04:34:14 - 01:04:41:12]
And it's funny because all I went out there man was just pure faith because I didn't have any savings.
[01:04:42:13 - 01:04:48:11]
I didn't plan on even saving. That's a crazy thing about it. I didn't even plan to save for the move.
[01:04:49:21 - 01:04:57:10]
I said "Well, I'm going to get my income tax. Whatever I get is going to be enough and I'm going to go out there."
[01:04:59:11 - 01:05:04:18]
And so I got my income tax. If I'm not mistaken, it was just over $2,000.
[01:05:05:20 - 01:05:17:04]
I was like "Yeah, that's enough money to do what I got to do. $600 a month for the rent? My portion's $300. I'm good. I mean, I got a good amount of time. Now granted, I didn't have anything.
[01:05:19:13 - 01:05:37:02]
Whatever fit in my Apollo, that's what I was going to live off of. My older sister was a little ahead of me. She gifted me some silverware and some plateware, if that's even the right term.
[01:05:38:04 - 01:05:45:01]
And I put in a car. I think she gave that to me the night before I was packing everything in the car.
[01:05:46:08 - 01:05:53:14]
Which was funny. The first two things I packed in that car was a TV flat screen that I had bought, which I still have actually today.
[01:05:55:04 - 01:05:58:21]
And my iMac. I said "That's all I really need besides my camera equipment."
[01:05:59:23 - 01:06:26:10]
Everything else I just packed around it. And before I left, one thing I did is I went to go see Thunder, who we weren't dating at the time, but was messing around with each other. And she gave me a little care package, which was tons of drinks and energy drinks, which I don't even drink those, but I figured I would need it if I'm going to be driving like 17 straight hours.
[01:06:28:01 - 01:06:32:04]
Candy, chips, right? It was super thoughtful. And then a song she dedicated to me.
[01:06:33:12 - 01:06:34:03]
And I was like "Okay."
[01:06:35:16 - 01:06:38:22]
It was nice knowing you. Probably never going to see you again.
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But I'm going out there to chase my dream.
[01:06:43:21 - 01:06:52:23]
And so I took the income tax. My boy Greg actually said he was coming down with us. He was going to fly back. He was just going to come with the ride, which is pretty dope.
[01:06:54:04 - 01:06:55:17]
And he was headed off.
[01:06:58:12 - 01:07:08:23]
But I felt good about it. I felt like I'm doing the right thing. And I didn't feel like I was making a big move for myself.
[01:07:10:12 - 01:07:29:10]
But what I at least knew going into it, slightly because of how things were when I was in Florida for that half a year, was that it was going to be hard. I knew the first year was going to be the toughest year. At least that's what I thought.
[01:07:31:06 - 01:07:33:12]
So I said "We're going to have to survive this first year."
[01:07:34:20 - 01:07:35:18]
So we get down there.
[01:07:36:22 - 01:07:38:15]
Now my job, I've never seen the apartment.
[01:07:40:10 - 01:07:48:05]
My roommate found it. And he showed me a couple photos of it. I said "Yeah, it looks good. It looks good, right? I trust you. I trust that this is a nice place."
[01:07:49:07 - 01:07:51:07]
And so we drive.
[01:07:53:04 - 01:07:59:00]
We didn't really stop. We were just taking turns on who was on the wheel. We took two cars.
[01:08:00:13 - 01:08:05:15]
And we get there. We're all excited. 17 straight hours. We're exhausted.
[01:08:07:04 - 01:08:11:09]
We pull up to the apartment complex. And they're not open yet.
[01:08:12:13 - 01:08:13:12]
Because we got there a little early.
[01:08:14:13 - 01:08:20:03]
So we wait about an hour. At least we go check out our friend who was already living at this complex. I was like "Hey, we here."
[01:08:21:08 - 01:08:30:21]
His roommate at the time was like "Wow, they really came." I didn't believe it was actually going to come. He thought it was just like a little folktale that we were going to be going. And then we go up to the apartment complex.
[01:08:32:00 - 01:08:38:01]
And I'm thinking like everything is all set. Like the only thing I think I need to do is just cut a check.
[01:08:40:05 - 01:08:43:06]
Which I wasn't even expecting to pay a deposit.
[01:08:44:22 - 01:09:10:22]
I was expecting to just pay the first most rent and that was it. It's just so clueless that I need to pay a deposit. But even more clueless that the sound don't really play, right? So you pay a deposit, an administrative fee, an application fee, maybe some other fee. And then you pay your first most rent in addition to that. And then you're in. So right off of rent, man, I think my like $2000 was cut to $1000.
[01:09:12:07 - 01:09:14:05]
Still wasn't sweating it. Still I'm good, right?
[01:09:15:18 - 01:09:31:02]
And I probably should have sweated when apartment complex looked at me and said "I didn't even expect y'all to come today. I didn't even know y'all was going to be here." And I'm like "What? I thought this was all coordinated, right? You should know. We should have our place."
[01:09:32:04 - 01:09:36:06]
And they said "No, no, no. We got a place for you. We got an apartment.
[01:09:37:12 - 01:09:38:08]
Can you come back though?"
[01:09:39:12 - 01:09:44:03]
"What do you mean can we come back?" "So yeah, can y'all come back like tomorrow?"
[01:09:45:10 - 01:09:53:12]
I was like "No, no, no, no. I got nowhere to be tonight. And my first night ain't going to be in my car. It's stuffed with things. And it's four of us, right?
[01:09:54:18 - 01:10:09:14]
Me, my roommate, Greg, and I think there was someone else. There was someone else on trip and we dropped them off on the route. He was heading to DC. So just really three of us. And it was like "Okay fine, fine, fine.
[01:10:11:03 - 01:10:18:01]
What have you in but at least you got to be at the end of the workday." I was like "Okay, but can we at least go in a place? Can I at least see the place?" I was like "Oh yeah, for sure, for sure.
[01:10:19:21 - 01:10:26:20]
No problem. You're going to love it. You're going to love it." I kept saying it over and over. "You're going to love it. You're going to be like, "Man, I'm so glad I moved here."
[01:10:27:22 - 01:10:32:16]
I'm saying to myself "Well, it don't really matter because I'm already here. So I'm moving in here no matter what."
[01:10:35:02 - 01:10:53:05]
And I won't forget it. We open up the door and there's a maintenance man working in the place. And I'm not thinking much at first until I look and I'm like "Why is there an entire exterior wall missing?"
[01:10:56:08 - 01:10:57:21]
Outside is inside.
[01:11:00:08 - 01:11:07:20]
Isn't that supposed to be there? And he's like "Well, you guys are just touring the place." He's like "No, I'm moving in." He's like "You're moving in here?
[01:11:08:22 - 01:11:13:04]
When?" I'm like "Today." He's like "This place ain't ready to move in."
[01:11:14:08 - 01:11:15:23]
He said "They told me I'm moving into this unit.
[01:11:17:01 - 01:11:17:08]
Today."
[01:11:19:03 - 01:11:35:21]
He's like "Okay, what I always do is I'll get this exterior wall framed. It won't be done but it will be framed and it will have some boarding on the other side so you guys can at least not have the outside and the inside and all the flies and everything coming in." I'm like "That's cool. That's cool. That's cool."
[01:11:37:04 - 01:12:06:05]
So we walk around the place. The place looks okay. It's carpet everywhere. It's not big. I wasn't expecting it to be. But we go and pick out our rooms. I'm like "Hey, I want this one. Is that cool because of the ensuite?" I'm like "I don't care because it's too bad. Too bad. I ain't never been in a place that's too bad. Too bad." So whatever. Plus, my bathroom is right in front of my door. So going down the hall, take a left is my room.
[01:12:07:08 - 01:12:18:02]
Immediate right, which is directly in front of my door, is the bathroom. So I'm good. I'm just happy I got my own place. I'm happy I'm in Atlanta. I'm happy I'm pursuing my dream.
[01:12:19:07 - 01:12:20:09]
He's like "Okay, cool."
[01:12:21:23 - 01:12:29:05]
So we go out and we're like "What are we going to do?" So Greg's like "Man, I'm hungry."
[01:12:31:05 - 01:12:41:14]
And so I was like "Alright." So we go get something to eat. And we come back and we pack up all our stuff and we put it in the unit. Oh, in the unit actually.
[01:12:44:05 - 01:12:56:23]
Next day, Greg's like "Let's get something real good for us." Like you know, "Let's go to Roscoe's. Get some chicken and waffles." I'm like "Oh, I heard about these chicken and waffles. Hell yeah.
[01:12:59:05 - 01:13:00:12]
Spent a little more money on that."
[01:13:01:18 - 01:13:11:10]
And then he's like "Y'all gonna need to get some things." Like, to my knowledge, Greg never had his own place.
[01:13:12:17 - 01:13:29:05]
I mean he had like his own... At his place he had his own floor. But he never had his own apartment, right? So he seemed like ahead of the curve, giving us good information. You should get some stuff. It's cool, let's go. Let's go to Target.
[01:13:30:08 - 01:13:38:10]
And he's like "Yeah, it's a Greenland Target? I don't even know what that means. It's Target. It's all I know. It's got some stuff and I need it."
[01:13:39:16 - 01:13:46:03]
So I spent about $500 at the Target, which was mostly like toiletries and things like that.
[01:13:47:11 - 01:13:56:22]
Nah, I wasn't even thinking about a bed. I was like "I'm gonna sleep on the floor. I'm just gonna put a little blanket on the floor. I'm gonna sleep on the floor and I'm gonna cut that." And I was like "Nah, you need at least get an air mattress."
[01:13:58:08 - 01:13:59:01]
You know what?
[01:14:00:04 - 01:14:00:11]
You're right.
[01:14:01:12 - 01:14:05:23]
I surely sleep on an air mattress, right? Like that's an improvement from the floor.
[01:14:08:01 - 01:14:54:05]
Now, I didn't know that, Dan. I know it now. It's probably one of the best things I did and here's why. One of the other major purchases I made was a computer desk because I'm near the work in a nice computer chair. And I spent $100 on this chair and it was elaborate for me then. I'm spending $100, but I was like "I need to get me a nice chair because one thing I never had on Rhode Island when I was always working at the desk was a pretty crappy desk chair." I think my mom found it on the street and like brought it in. And that was my chair. Like it was hurting my back, but I was just so accustomed to it. And every time I tried to upgrade, she refused to say "I'm gonna put another chair in a place and it's her place, so what am I gonna say?"
[01:14:55:06 - 01:15:06:05]
So I said "I'm gonna get me a nice chair." So I went out to Ikea, sat in a few of them. This was good. Tall back. That's all I get about it. I got a tall back. I'm gonna rest my head on it. $100.
[01:15:07:06 - 01:15:09:21]
So if you've been tracking, I've been spending.
[01:15:10:21 - 01:15:14:02]
I only went out there with like I said a little over $2,000, maybe $2100.
[01:15:15:02 - 01:15:18:13]
So it was a long before I checked that bank account.
[01:15:19:20 - 01:15:28:11]
And I remember waking up, I think it was my third week, and I looked at my bank account in the morning. I don't know why.
[01:15:29:11 - 01:15:33:07]
I wasn't expecting a deposit, but I just felt like I needed to know what my balance is.
[01:15:34:10 - 01:15:39:18]
It was $7 in the account. And I'm like "Oh shit."
[01:15:41:23 - 01:15:45:08]
That's when I feel like it's real. This isn't just like a vacation.
[01:15:46:20 - 01:15:55:03]
I'm not a mom and dads no more, and I'm not gonna tell mom that I only got $7 on my account right now. And I'm not gonna tell my roommate either.
[01:15:56:21 - 01:15:59:03]
I'm gonna have to figure something out quick.
[01:16:00:17 - 01:16:02:03]
Because rent is due next week.
[01:16:03:21 - 01:16:13:08]
If you never lived in the South, and I don't even want to say the whole South, I'm just gonna talk Georgia. And even then I'm only gonna talk Atlanta, Georgia, even though I know this goes out on the outskirts of that.
[01:16:14:08 - 01:16:16:09]
They give you a grace period when your rent is due.
[01:16:17:11 - 01:16:31:16]
And your rent is due on the first. And some places let you go to the fifth. But most places don't let you go past the third because after that it's late. And if it ain't there by that period of time, you got a late fee.
[01:16:32:17 - 01:17:18:22]
And if it ain't there by the ninth, you can expect to be evicted by the 10th. And it's not a joke. They're at your door with the marshal throwing your stuff out on the 10th. And I wasn't gonna have my first month in Georgia with my stuff on the curb. And also I wasn't gonna do that because one of the first nights as I'm watching, I had my iMac on the floor and I'm watching Netflix. And I'm just eating. Right? My roommate cooked the dinner because I told him I know how to cook but I did it. And I had rice, beans, and some chicken. And I'm smacking it. I'm smacking this. And I'm like, "Oh, let me get some more of these black beans."
[01:17:20:10 - 01:17:28:04]
And I looked down and I thought my bean rolled off the plate. And so I went to get it in there. I was like, "Wait a minute."
[01:17:29:09 - 01:17:57:04]
I flicked the light on. I'm like, "Oh, hell no, that is not a roach." I didn't care. It was like maybe one, two, two o'clock in the morning. I'm banging on his door like, "Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yo, what kind of place you move me in? That's what you mean." He said, "Yo, there's roaches in here." He's like, "Oh, I noticed that. I thought I saw only one though." I said, "Nah, the one you saw is in my room now." And so either there's one that's traveling or there's more than one.
[01:17:58:10 - 01:18:01:05]
I said, "Do you know the last time I lived with some roaches?"
[01:18:02:16 - 01:18:16:04]
And he looked at me back and he said, "Do you know the last time I lived with some roaches?" I said, "Man, I haven't lived with some roaches since I was a kid, man. Like looking in the cereal box before I eat it because I might be pouring some roaches in the bowl with me." He's like, "Yeah, me too."
[01:18:17:10 - 01:18:20:14]
And so I'm like, "Hold up. Let's go check homeboy and see if he got roaches at his spa."
[01:18:21:20 - 01:18:25:22]
So I go and I'm like, "Hey, yo, bro. We got roaches in our spa. You got roaches in yours?"
[01:18:27:04 - 01:18:32:11]
He's like, "Yeah." I was like, "And you didn't tell us that? This place got roaches?"
[01:18:33:21 - 01:18:40:18]
He's like, "Honestly, man, I forgot about it. I got used to it. And I also didn't want to tell y'all because then y'all probably won't come down here."
[01:18:42:11 - 01:19:02:11]
And I get it. You know what I mean? I probably would have not said it either or I probably would have low key said it. And I was like, "It's cool." He's like, "But it's not that bad though." I was like, "Okay. I mean, you've been here a few more months than us, so it's not that bad. We'll make do."
[01:19:03:17 - 01:19:05:05]
He lied to me. It was that bad.
[01:19:06:08 - 01:19:39:09]
I know it was that bad because after we were there for some months, he came up to me. He was like, "I ain't gonna lie to y'all. Y'all got it worse than us." And the craziest thing about all that is this man's unit was right in front of the dumpster and he didn't even have it that bad. I don't know if the roaches were like, "The food is in the dumpster or what." But yeah, our unit was pretty, pretty damn bad. And I think it was probably pretty damn bad because at the time, we was the only apartment that had people living in the whole building at that. There was four apartments. And so the roaches were probably like, "Man, all the food is in that unit." So they all went there. So whatever.
[01:19:40:15 - 01:20:07:23]
Oh, in the sidebar. You also want to know when roaches are bad is when people name them. Like we had a name. It was called Fred. People was like, "Oh, I saw Fred." I'm like, "Yeah, Fred is ringing the damn fire alarm to the point I feel stupid and I have to call the fire department." They're like, "Why am I smoke detector going off? Is there carbon dioxide or something?" Nah, just filled with roaches just igniting the damn alarm to go off. Anyway, moving on. So we living like this at this point for some months.
[01:20:09:11 - 01:21:40:17]
And no job, right? The job I was supposed to have ghosted me when I got down there, which was my blessing. I was like, "I'm going to get fired." Because I ain't applying for unemployment and they gave it to me. And because at the time I was getting fired from jobs a lot at this point in my life because it was the recession. So every time I had a job, I was at that job two months, right before three months fired. I mean, on some Friday joint, like getting fried on my day off, like, "Well, how? I want to hear." And then how? This just happened to me in more than one job, right? Anyway, so I already had a claim that was, I guess, open from years past. And so it was like, "Oh, it's going to be quick." They just overnighted, just turned it on and just didn't even hesitate. It was like, "You're going to get back the same amount you used to get." Which was not bad at the time. It was, I think, like $308 a week or something, right? Which my rent is $300. So I got rent money, right? So rent is covered, not tripping. Got a car bill that's some money. I got a student loan that's some money. I got some food I got to get, internet, da, da, da. Then I start to realize, like, it's unemployment money ain't enough to cover everything. But it's enough to cover the main things, right? So I'm going to do some side work. I'm going to hustle. I'm going to get my money. I'm going to pay my bills. And that's what I did. And I did that for most of my first two years, right?
[01:21:41:22 - 01:21:56:13]
But let's not get too far ahead. How's the first year going? First year is going good, right? Like, you got the unemployment money. You got a place. You're paying your bills. You survived the $7 in your bank account. So you should be all right.
[01:21:57:18 - 01:22:11:13]
Nah. That $7 in my bank account was pretty regular. Actually, it's pretty lavish if it has $7 in my bank account. Because I didn't really have money for food, for a lot of it.
[01:22:13:03 - 01:22:17:15]
What we would do is we mostly ate once a day.
[01:22:18:17 - 01:22:50:15]
We would go to buy our groceries at Walmart. And I would get a $10 bag of tilapia because you would get 40 pieces in that. And so we really ate off of tilapia, smothered in hot sauce, and some other seasonings. And then maybe some rice or something. And we did that again pretty much once a day. And then it got to the point, like, you know, probably tilapia is something to feel expensive. Right? So I get the tilapia and all the items. Like, so we got to make some cuts.
[01:22:52:08 - 01:23:03:01]
And so I'm struggling. My roommate's struggling. And then my friend is struggling. So there's three of us. So at least it felt like a little union of us. It wasn't as bad.
[01:23:04:11 - 01:23:09:09]
But what we would do is we would say, like, you know, we hungry, so how are we going to eat?
[01:23:10:09 - 01:23:21:01]
So you really start to get creative. And you're like, you know what? McDonald's got the dollar menu. And at the time, it was really a dollar. It was like $1 or $9, I think, with tax for a single item.
[01:23:22:03 - 01:24:24:15]
And we were embarrassed. So we would say, like, we're going to get our food at, like, one or two in the morning down the street. Many times, we didn't have money for the dollar menu. So what we would do is we would just look at each other and be like, how much you got in your account? And I'd be like, yo, I got 17 cents in my account. How much you got, bro? Yo, I got 39 cents in my account. All right, transfer that to me. How much you got, bro? I got $5 there. Damn, you got $5 in your account? Bro, we transferring it to you. You to spend it today, right? And we did this. We did this every day. And we did this every day for a little while. Like, not a day or two. We're talking weeks, maybe some months. We did it so long to the point where one day my boy was like, hey, yo, if you close your eyes and you eat like the McChicken real slow, it's not to taste like steak.
[01:24:26:05 - 01:24:26:19]
I'm like, what?
[01:24:28:13 - 01:24:30:12]
Your boy is cooked. Like, what's he talking about?
[01:24:31:15 - 01:24:34:12]
And then he's like, yo, it's crazy, though.
[01:24:35:14 - 01:24:39:18]
If you really do it, it really tastes like steak.
[01:24:40:19 - 01:24:49:22]
Yo, I'm eating my McChicken slowly, small bites. I'm savoring this. I think it's time to fill me up. And that's what I survived off of.
[01:24:51:15 - 01:25:13:14]
My mom knew I was struggling, you know, because every so often she would just randomly, like, here's 100 bucks, get some groceries. She didn't say for any other reasons, get some groceries. And that's when he's like, yo, we're going to get some groceries. And we had a little bond at the time, like, who had it? Spent it. And so if I had 100 bucks, I got food for the squad. If you had it, you got food for the squad. But what I didn't do is I didn't want visitors.
[01:25:15:09 - 01:25:26:07]
And no matter what I said, Dunda was still hitting me up. Well, I didn't think I would be seeing again, saying she wanted to come see me.
[01:25:27:22 - 01:25:36:07]
And I would tell her you could see me, but not until I at least have a bed. And she's like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
[01:25:37:22 - 01:25:40:23]
I was like, I really can't have you sleeping on the same mattress for me because
[01:25:42:22 - 01:25:48:07]
after like my, I think my third month, I was already on my third-year mattress, the first two pops.
[01:25:49:09 - 01:26:03:11]
And so my boy already got himself a bed. My roommate already got himself a bed. One of his first purchases was a mattress. And I was like, no, I'm not. Again, I'm here to work. I'm not getting that. I got to earn that. I got to make that money. And that's going to buy itself.
[01:26:05:08 - 01:26:09:03]
And so I would use his mattress as my third one.
[01:26:10:04 - 01:26:20:23]
He's like, it's not the best. And I'm like, it was better than my first two, though. Like this one, I don't have to plug in to vacuum up. Like the vacuum is built in. Like that's an upgrade.
[01:26:22:21 - 01:26:27:10]
And I can't why he said it wasn't the best because it would deflate throughout the night.
[01:26:28:11 - 01:26:41:06]
So I would turn it on. Right. Got to get some air in there. I remember the first time I did it, my roommate said, man, I forgot you're still in the air mattress. I thought you was vacuuming your room at like two in the morning.
[01:26:42:13 - 01:26:44:16]
Like, nah, just trying to sleep.
[01:26:46:14 - 01:26:59:12]
And about seven months went by and I was able to buy my bed. I was able to buy the mattress, the box spring, the frame. And it was for two hundred and thirty dollars.
[01:27:01:03 - 01:27:01:16]
And it was a queen.
[01:27:03:06 - 01:27:19:02]
And I was hyped. And so I was like, oh, I got a mattress. And she's like, oh, I'm definitely can't wait to come stay with you. And she came and we had the bed and we had a good time. And it felt fun.
[01:27:20:05 - 01:27:28:19]
Like as much as it was a grind, I felt like again, like my first year, I just got to survive this. If I can survive the first year, the second year.
[01:27:30:11 - 01:27:38:01]
Is it's going to be a lot easier because I kind of went through getting some of these things that I didn't have. So I should be OK.
[01:27:39:20 - 01:27:49:19]
Second year is rolling around and I'm thinking like I'm progressing slowly. Like I'm getting a little bit more freelance clients. I'm getting them more frequently.
[01:27:51:18 - 01:27:59:17]
Charging slightly more. Not a lot. Slightly more. So I'm seeing progression and progression means I'm on the right track.
[01:28:01:08 - 01:28:06:20]
And then I'm about to get my own apartment, but me and my roommate decide, let's give it one more year.
[01:28:07:23 - 01:28:10:21]
For financial reasons to stay, you know, roommates.
[01:28:12:00 - 01:28:33:22]
And he's like, man, we need to get a better spot. I was like, yeah, we need to get away from these roaches. I'm tired of these roaches. I guess getting crazy when you like you cooking and you like trying to like fight off the roaches while you cooking. Right. Like they get in brave like they're not hiding as much anymore. Like when you flick the light on, they like, hey, how you doing? So you agree in them.
[01:28:35:03 - 01:28:40:04]
So he's like, yeah, we got to get another spot. And so he's like, you know, the apartment complex next door.
[01:28:42:09 - 01:28:58:15]
It's bang. And I went over there, actually looked at it. We should move in. I couldn't afford it alone, but I think we can afford it together. And I'm like, all right, how much the rent he says, thirteen hundred a month. I'm like, oh, I'm doubling my rent. I'm going from three hundred to six something.
[01:28:59:19 - 01:29:08:15]
He's again, man, but it's like double the square footage. It's brand new, bro. It's like only been it's only been built for a year. So this is a second year. And I'm like, all right.
[01:29:09:17 - 01:29:12:16]
When you're trying to go, because our lease is up in February
[01:29:13:17 - 01:29:18:13]
and we're about to hit January. He's like, yeah, we'll wait till February. It's got a cool, cool, cool.
[01:29:20:04 - 01:29:24:00]
And second week of January comes and he's like, bro, let's just go.
[01:29:25:08 - 01:29:48:09]
I was like, yeah, let's just go. And so I left and we left and we're thinking like nothing of it. We're thinking that, you know, we're not behind on our rent. I don't know how things work. I'm thinking like, you know, the lease is over on this on February. So I don't need to tell them, right? Like we are under the lease because we paid the January. We don't have to pay the February because we're out in February.
[01:29:49:15 - 01:30:00:14]
I was wrong. Apparently you got to give a 60 day notice. So I got hit with some fees. I think they I think they were using my gas because I got hit with a gas bill. I was like, I wasn't nobody. They're using gas, right? But whatever.
[01:30:01:17 - 01:30:13:00]
And so now I got paid at in addition to these first few months of rent. But I'm not tripping because we got a nice place, right? I'm affording it. Like I'm actually making payments and.
[01:30:14:15 - 01:30:34:00]
I'm always making them by the grace of God on the like the very last minute. Sometimes whether someone like me borrow some money or thunder was kind enough to pay my car bill one month so I can use that instead of having to pay that in rent. I was able to just pay the rent.
[01:30:35:05 - 01:30:41:16]
And she was like, don't worry about it. And I was like, no, I'm paying you back. Like my morals. I was like, I have to pay you back.
[01:30:43:05 - 01:30:46:02]
And she's like, hey, I wanted to know, like.
[01:30:47:06 - 01:30:49:07]
Can I come stay with you for the summer?
[01:30:50:13 - 01:31:00:14]
I was like, no, I can't afford it. She's like, no, don't worry about it. I take care of it. I take care of myself. I just I just want to be with you.
[01:31:01:14 - 01:31:11:16]
And I was like, OK, no, we're still not dating yet. Right. But I'm like, how your mom going to take this? And she's like, oh, I'll figure that out. It's OK.
[01:31:13:04 - 01:31:40:05]
And this is her mom about to learn that. Yeah, she was down there for the summer, but she wasn't, you know, staying or interning or whatever she said to you. She was living with me for the summer. I'm able to afford her addition as well. So I'm like, I am doing better. I'm doing better. I'm really doing better. Like my mom should be able to worry a little bit less. I've been here at this point a year and a half after Thunder Left.
[01:31:41:14 - 01:32:01:22]
I realize now that really her stay was just a calm before the storm because this is where my life really, really, really, really, really hit the fan. Like it just whatever I went through up until this point was nothing because.
[01:32:04:02 - 01:32:07:03]
Right before it, Thunder Left, like the week or two before she left.
[01:32:08:22 - 01:32:38:04]
Randomly having mold on my clothes and on my shoes and this is covered in mold and message of people, hey, you got to like, you know, cut us a discount on the rent. And I think they said I give us like a $50 discount or something stupid. I was like, OK, we'll take it. And then I don't know where like our electricity is like not working. I guess it's like it's finicky, right? Like it just like lights is like flickering is like, well, it's like we've got strobe lights going on. Right.
[01:32:39:06 - 01:32:44:09]
We're like, you know, we're in this nice place. Thirteen hundred. Right. Shouldn't have any problems.
[01:32:45:17 - 01:32:57:10]
Kind of find out. They're like, oh, we got to take you out to the unit. That's why I got to take us out the unit. It's like, oh, it's kind of dangerous to be living in the unit right now. It's what you mean is dangerous. It's like, yeah, your electric is you just high voltage.
[01:32:58:10 - 01:33:11:09]
So like your place can catch on fire. You guys got to get out. Let's go where I'm going to go. It's like, oh, I'm like, no, you you taking me out. It's your issue. A my issue. Where are we going to go? And I go, we're going to put you in the model.
[01:33:12:10 - 01:33:41:23]
You don't put us in a model apartment. And they're like, yeah. And like, oh, OK. So we go upstairs in the models. Nice. And we're front. And we act like we really like this is our spot because we're so comfortable. We're like, yo, take off. Take your time fixing my apartment. Please take your time. And it's like about a week. And then you got to go back. They're cool. And they're like, I think it's like maybe shortly after the sun is gone. I don't remember the exact time. And if I say exact time, she's going to correct me saying I'm wrong anyway. So I remember she's gone.
[01:33:43:20 - 01:33:45:08]
And I'm like, everything should be good now.
[01:33:47:08 - 01:33:48:20]
Well, electric bill.
[01:33:49:23 - 01:34:00:02]
Some reason every month after that is double than a month before. I call electric company and I explain to them this issue. It's not their problem, right? They're like, I'm just reporting usage.
[01:34:01:12 - 01:34:17:14]
So I'm like, that's crazy. Like how my bills getting double every month, like literally month after month that the month I can continue like this. And then by the grace of God, I had my resume fixed. I started getting calls from jobs, corporate jobs.
[01:34:18:17 - 01:34:19:09]
And I get one.
[01:34:20:10 - 01:34:45:21]
And I remember saying, I wanted this salary and actually give me $10,000 more than that. So now I'm like calling home like, ma, your boy is okay. Your boy can buy food without having to count the groceries that he's adding into the cart as he's adding them. I can get food for like more regularly. I get myself some like work clothes. I get myself a turtleneck don't know why. And I'm happy.
[01:34:47:12 - 01:34:54:09]
And I tell Thunder, Thunder is happy. And so I'm like, man, I think.
[01:34:55:09 - 01:35:03:21]
I think if you want, like you could come live down here and I can afford it. And I can afford us to like be together. And she's like, cool.
[01:35:05:01 - 01:35:11:04]
Now, before she left, there was this night.
[01:35:12:23 - 01:35:22:08]
And I have to, I have to backtrack to this because this night sets kind of the stage for my life kind of going forward.
[01:35:23:10 - 01:35:30:03]
Before we before she left, we was in our room and I was working on the client's project editing a music video.
[01:35:31:08 - 01:35:37:13]
And I heard my roommate come home and it was his birthday. And I haven't seen my roommate for like a few weeks at this time because we're just on different schedules.
[01:35:38:21 - 01:35:42:20]
And I was like, oh, is that him? And she's like, I think so. He's singing.
[01:35:44:00 - 01:35:57:06]
Oh, it's going to kitchen. Let's see him. Oh, what's you in this midnight. I hear what you're doing. He's like, yo, he's like, yo, tap the bottle. I mean, oh, we bought the drink at the top. You tap the bottle.
[01:35:58:13 - 01:36:01:12]
And he's like, yo, you're going to have a shot. And I hate shots.
[01:36:02:14 - 01:36:06:13]
I'm like, OK. And I also came home and liquor. So I'm the type to do it, especially at that time.
[01:36:08:10 - 01:36:30:19]
Where I take a shot, I want to vomit the shot. So I have to like, I have to swallow everything down. Oxygen, everything's coming down. It's not it's not it's not graceful and it's not enjoying enjoyment. So Donna's like, oh, we're going to take these shots. He's like, oh, yeah. So he pulled me a real shot. I'm going to pull you a real shot.
[01:36:32:12 - 01:36:46:18]
And he pulled out the red cup, the red silo cup. What you going to do? He's like, I'm going to pour a shot. She's like, don't pull me no bitch shot. So he pulled a little. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. She's like, that's it.
[01:36:49:03 - 01:36:50:18]
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
[01:36:51:22 - 01:36:59:10]
That's it. He's like, I'm going to pour it. And you tell me when to stop. She's like, all right. I'm going to tell you when to stop. He's pouring tequila.
[01:37:01:00 - 01:37:17:00]
Bop, bop, bop, bop. Hey, yo, chill. Bop, bop. She's like, yeah, I ain't even going to tell you to stop. They're going to go to the top. I'm like, what? Bop, bop. Now it's like, at this point, it's halfway formed. Like, yo, chill, chill, chill. She done. He's like, nah, she a big girl. Bop, bop, bop.
[01:37:18:01 - 01:37:23:18]
Yo, it hits like three fourths away. I'm like, yo, she's done. I took the bottle. I got-- and he's like, yo, that's a shot.
[01:37:24:19 - 01:37:30:11]
She's like, I'm going to take the shot. He's like, no, no, no. What I mean is a shot means a shot. Like, you got to take it in one swig.
[01:37:31:15 - 01:37:32:18]
He's like, no problem.
[01:37:34:15 - 01:37:51:05]
I told you I swallowed my shot with vomit and oxygen. So my chest is hurting. My throat is still like remembering about this shot. So I'm like, you don't got to take it in one go. I'm like trying to be like the older dude. Like, you don't got to take it. Don't let him bully you. She's like, nah, I'm going to take it in one go.
[01:37:52:09 - 01:37:54:07]
I was like, you really about to take that?
[01:37:56:02 - 01:37:56:07]
Nah.
[01:37:57:09 - 01:37:59:20]
And she's like, yeah. So I should pick it up.
[01:38:01:17 - 01:38:03:04]
(Clicking) She take it to the face.
[01:38:04:04 - 01:38:08:09]
I'm like, I'm amazed. I got some door joints. I put it down like another.
[01:38:09:15 - 01:38:11:02]
And he's like, I'm going to pour another one.
[01:38:12:06 - 01:38:41:04]
I was over here like DJ Khaled didn't say another one. Like, not over here. So why are we pouring another one? So he poured. And it's like, again, it's about like a half-- like not half, I think a quarter of the way it is. She's like, look. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. And so boom. She take that too. And he's like, I'm going to let that settle. But when we come back, we're having another shot. And he's like, yo, that's for you too, Jay. And I'm like, damn.
[01:38:43:05 - 01:38:48:18]
My night's about to be fucked up because Donna just had a shitload of like--
[01:38:50:20 - 01:38:56:09]
I don't know why we end up outside. Now we outside. We outside of Pama Complex and we racing.
[01:38:57:09 - 01:39:06:10]
You're drinking in the activity? You sweating. And this is worse. But Donna's acting fine. So at this point, I'm like, yo.
[01:39:07:21 - 01:39:10:01]
Her tolerance is better than mine. This is embarrassing.
[01:39:11:11 - 01:39:17:00]
Next thing you know, we outside the Pama Complex. We outside the gate. Now I've been in this neighborhood
[01:39:18:02 - 01:39:40:05]
for about two years now. There's a street. I ain't never went down that street. Honestly, to this day, I don't know what's down that street. I know it was looking like there was a complex down there. And it looked like it was burned down. But it looked like also people lived over there. So I just don't know if it was one build or not. But I just knew I ain't going down that street. I don't know what's down that street. I don't need to know what's down that street. And that street's dark.
[01:39:41:18 - 01:39:49:23]
So he starts going down. He starts walking. He starts-- my roommate is crazy. He starts walking down that street. I ain't going.
[01:39:51:03 - 01:39:52:11]
I ain't going at all.
[01:39:54:05 - 01:39:56:04]
Donna barefoot and all.
[01:39:58:01 - 01:39:59:01]
Bolts after him.
[01:40:00:20 - 01:40:13:01]
And he's like-- and he's looking. He's like, hey, there's a whole-- mind you, there's a whole bunch of gravel and broken rocks. And she's running on his barefoot. And she's going, don't worry, I'm Cape Verdean.
[01:40:14:12 - 01:40:15:16]
What the hell does that mean?
[01:40:16:19 - 01:40:24:21]
I know your feet rough and all, but what they're just like-- have you getting your pedicures done with? Like rocks.
[01:40:26:01 - 01:40:30:12]
I'm running. Do, do, do, do, do, do.
[01:40:32:05 - 01:40:34:11]
And the next thing you know-- poof.
[01:40:36:17 - 01:41:02:01]
She getting into the darkness. And I said, well, the darkness have her now. So I turn around. Now, there was someone with us who we happened to know, who happened to move down into that part of the complex that we knew from back home. And so she was with us. And she's like, you can't just leave her out there. And I'm like, the hell I can't. You did not just see the darkness has her now.
[01:41:03:02 - 01:41:24:17]
I'm not going in there. I'm-- later. I'm turning around. She's like, you're not going to go back to Palmaw. Yes, the hell I am. She's like, you can't-- I'm like, the darkness has her now. I'm not going back. This night is not going to go well for me. I'm off. She can figure it out. She a big girl. She taking shots bigger than me. She can figure it out.
[01:41:25:20 - 01:41:29:05]
So I turn around. And I start walking back to my apartment.
[01:41:31:02 - 01:41:35:11]
As I start doing that, I start hearing some voices.
[01:41:37:03 - 01:41:51:05]
And it's my roommate, and Thunder, walking back. And he's got his arm around her. And they're like chit-chatting like they just came from a nice stroll. And my head, I said, oh, the darkness gave her back. And he's like, all right, Joe.
[01:41:52:23 - 01:41:54:03]
I'm going to head back to the room.
[01:41:56:03 - 01:42:02:17]
And I'm like, cool. At least I think that's what he said, because I know he just wasn't with us for this point in time.
[01:42:04:01 - 01:43:17:13]
So I'm holding Thunder. And I'm like, hey, yo, we going to go back to the room. Probably going to work on what I was working on, or maybe we can watch a movie. And she's like, yeah, she's good. She's good. I'm so surprised. She don't even look like she drank anything. I think her body had to remind her, because as soon as they was not near us, we start taking a couple of steps. First step, sober. Second step, tipsy. Third step, blackout drunk. I'm talking about like I have to put my arm around her, pull her up. Holy moly. She about to tip over. Now in my head, I'm like, somebody's watching me. That's what I'm thinking, right? Somebody's in this apartment building, watching us. It's like 100 apartments in this place. And so the only way to get in is I got to punch the code into the gate to unlock the gate to walk us in. As I stop punching in the code, Thunder's head just goes from back to like headbutts the damn gate thing. Bam. And I'm like, oh, shit. I think she just headbutted the corner of it. She pop up.
[01:43:18:13 - 01:43:27:04]
And I'm like, oh, she-- oh, no. I'm like, yo, you bleeding. She's like, just let it bleed, babe. Just let it bleed.
[01:43:28:19 - 01:43:38:08]
Like, hell no, I ain't gonna let this just bleed up. Just somebody don't think I did this to you. So I'm like, I got to get you. I got to get you in this apartment like as soon as possible.
[01:43:40:08 - 01:43:40:23]
I go.
[01:43:42:20 - 01:43:54:12]
I couldn't-- I couldn't carry her, right? I know I couldn't carry her. So we get in and she just like lays on the ground.
[01:43:55:14 - 01:43:59:00]
And I'm like, I can't pick this chick up. I know I can't pick this chick up.
[01:44:00:02 - 01:44:09:16]
So I like pick her arms up and I'm like about to like military drag this girl out the war. So this is concrete. So I do like one drag.
[01:44:12:01 - 01:44:16:15]
She don't even-- she don't even make a noise. She's like, second drag.
[01:44:18:02 - 01:44:19:23]
I'm like, you know, this is going to take all day.
[01:44:21:03 - 01:44:23:02]
And I'm getting tired.
[01:44:24:05 - 01:44:27:14]
By the time I get into my apartment, she can be all scratched up and it's going to be even worse.
[01:44:28:23 - 01:44:36:01]
So I'm going to leave you right here. So I run to my apartment. I grab the keys for my Chevy and Bala.
[01:44:37:07 - 01:45:01:04]
You know, like, let's just drive back. I figure out a way to get her into the backseat. I'll drive to my apartment building. And then from there, I don't know if I'm going to just roll her down the stairs or what, but I got to get her down there. So I run to get the car. I come back. I pull up. She's still laying on the ground, like stretched out. All right. As if somebody like outlined her in chalk.
[01:45:02:08 - 01:46:12:12]
And I see my roommate and he's like, yo, you just left him. Like, yo, bro, I would end up just leaving like I want to get the car. And he's like, nah, man, you got to take her back. And he's like, you got to carry her. I'm like, nah, I can't carry her. I can't lift up. He's like, I got you. This dude on some like saving private Ryan with the missiles exploding a type of joint, just pick her up and just stop carrying her. Now, at this point, I'm like, oh, I'm wise to it. So I'm like, yo, I'm direct to traffic. Like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, put her in the backseat. He's like, nah, I'm just going to carry her back. So you go, what? OK. So I'm taking my car. I just rushed it back to the complex or not this like I'm I'm directing a plane to land and I'm like, yo, yo, come this way. Yo, come that way. Yeah. Yeah. And I see this carrying on like just carrying on like, you know, like just carrying on. And so she's over like, whoa, I'm like, so better you than me. I can't lift her. So he gets to the stairs. But I'm like, how's he going to carry it down the stairs? So like, yo, let me help you. He's like, no, I got it. It's like awkward. Like, you know, she might fall.
[01:46:13:18 - 01:46:23:16]
He's like, just open the door. Cool. As we're coming down the stairs, don't want to look at him and say, oh, this is embarrassing. My own boyfriend can't carry me.
[01:46:25:03 - 01:46:53:18]
Right. I know I can't carry you. So I get inside the department and I'm like, yo, yo, yo, put her on the bed. Yo, yo, yo, put her on the bed because just like my last place, my bathroom is right across the hall from my bedroom. He comes in and I'm like in the middle of the tour and I'm like, yo, take the right, take the right, put her on the bed. He's like, nah, she needs to take a shower and wash this off. It takes a left. And I'm like, no, no, wrong direction. Take a right.
[01:46:54:20 - 01:46:56:20]
No, takes it to the bathroom.
[01:46:58:05 - 01:47:00:09]
Drops her in the top. Now I'm like, I don't know how to get out of the tub.
[01:47:01:11 - 01:47:02:20]
But he's like, yo, you need a beta.
[01:47:04:15 - 01:47:05:21]
She's a shower sober up.
[01:47:07:06 - 01:47:10:23]
All right. Fine. I mean, I guess I'm the only one sober so sure.
[01:47:12:03 - 01:47:25:00]
So I turned the tub on and she's like fully clothed, just soaking in the tub. And she's just like not even acting so I love you. So I grabbed my shower head and I start like shower.
[01:47:26:01 - 01:47:38:05]
And then I like went to like turn the tap up and I must have grazed the face with the shower. I did a baby baby. Something's wetting me. What you mean? So what you sitting in the tub like you like submerged.
[01:47:39:07 - 01:47:39:22]
So I'm like, what?
[01:47:41:05 - 01:47:49:02]
So I take shower head. Sprinkle on her face again. So baby baby baby baby baby baby. Someone went to me again.
[01:47:50:05 - 01:47:58:03]
I'm like, when? So just now. Like, yeah. See, you'll see it. I feel it.
[01:47:59:04 - 01:48:04:11]
Like man, let me get on the dressing. Let me shower you. Right. So I shower and I'm hoping she's going to sober up.
[01:48:06:02 - 01:48:06:10]
No.
[01:48:07:14 - 01:49:15:01]
Shower. Run in my room. Grab some towels. Grab some clothes. And I like just like dead body plop around the tub onto the freaking tiles. And I'm drying up. So I use all my nurse assistant skills. I'm drying all up. Right. Not even doing it like gently. I'm like, I'm annoyed by this whole situation. I told you how I drag their own concrete. What the inside. So this ain't as bad as I start dragging ass. Oh, okay. I need a break. Drag her again. Drag her again. And I get to the door. I plop the door open. I'm thinking they're in, you know, like the room or something. Not in the little room because we got furniture now. So they're on the couch watching TV and all you see is me just pulling up from one, one door to the other. Just across the hall. He's like, you ain't gonna pick her up. I'm like, Nope. I'll pick her up when I get in the room. He's like, okay. Oh, I get her in my room. I shut the door. Now I look at it and I'm like, I'm about to start stretching a little bit because I'm about to lift this chick up. Right. Okay. Yeah.
[01:49:16:04 - 01:49:32:17]
You stretch. All right. I got all right. How am I going to come up? I'm on her leg and put her on her arm and I'm just going to lift and throw my back out and just plop her on the bed and then I'll just sleep and wake up and paint tomorrow. Sound like a play. Soon as I go to lift her, she's like, I can get myself up.
[01:49:33:19 - 01:49:34:06]
What?
[01:49:35:08 - 01:49:58:21]
She's like, I can do it. Like show me that she had the nerve to jump up on her feet so fast. Like she was showing Michaels doing a kickflip onto her feet. Right. She just looked me dead in the face. Like I told you you ain't shit. Look, and then dive onto my bed like a dolphin out of water.
[01:50:00:12 - 01:50:22:17]
Hit the bed and start rolling back. I was like, Oh hell no. You ain't. Cause I'm rolling her back on the other side. Like a burrito, like you gotta get on that side. And I'm like, you know what? Just, just luckily my bed was against the wall. So she couldn't roll over the other edge and I lay on that side of bed and I'm more pissed and she's like, Oh baby, I love you. Give me a kiss. I'm like, fuck you. I'm not kissing your ass. Drunk as hell rolling my night.
[01:50:24:07 - 01:50:26:18]
Started off great. Went terrible.
[01:50:27:21 - 01:50:28:11]
Living in Georgia.
[01:50:29:12 - 01:50:31:14]
Starting terrible. Starting to get great.
[01:50:32:16 - 01:50:42:01]
Right. But as I told you, I was just the country for the storm. It's once done left. Got that corporate job. I'm doing good.
[01:50:43:04 - 01:51:14:13]
Three weeks later. That corporate job fire my ass. Back in the fire train. Job number 16 or whatever it was done. High five me. Cause they hired me. They needed the most senior person for the role and I wasn't senior enough. Kind of blame them, but they didn't know what they wanted. And I didn't know how to deliver it. But I'm, I'm up enough. You know, jobs are calling me. I got my resume good. Now I got this job in like a week. Give me 10 grand more than I wanted.
[01:51:15:18 - 01:51:21:21]
Call up. Don't know like, Yo, don't worry about it. I'm a find myself something. She's like, wow.
[01:51:23:12 - 01:51:34:15]
I'm so happy. So upbeat about it. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. No, I wasn't upbeat about it because those recruiters started talking to me like, why are you back on the job market so quick? I talked to three weeks ago.
[01:51:35:23 - 01:51:40:01]
And I'm like, yeah, it wasn't a fit. No, like that's a little weird. What was the fit? Right.
[01:51:41:12 - 01:51:47:07]
So now I'm like, oh, I shouldn't be saying that. So I'm like, I can't tell these other job recruiters. And so I got to figure something out.
[01:51:48:07 - 01:51:55:16]
And so hope when it's a doubt, when it's a fair transition to anger. And it finally left me at defeat.
[01:51:57:09 - 01:51:58:01]
And I'm like,
[01:52:00:03 - 01:52:26:07]
I can't go through another year like this. I can't go through another year of like make doubles because I don't have that option with a roommate no more. My roommate done told me that night that we were drinking, that he bought a house and he tried to move in his house. And I have to convince him now, like, you know, you like, I didn't even know you were buying a house. So like you don't bought it. Congratulations. But like we got a lease to February and I can't cover 1300. I'm struggling to cover 600.
[01:52:27:09 - 01:52:28:13]
You're going to have to honor that.
[01:52:29:18 - 01:52:30:10]
He's like, well,
[01:52:31:17 - 01:52:36:18]
it probably ain't the worst thing for me to stay a few more months. I don't know if I say to February is but I can say a few more months because
[01:52:38:07 - 01:52:49:11]
my place ain't ready anyway. I got to fix up a few things. So it'd probably be best I fixed it up while I'm not living there. Like cool. Everything's going to work out. But I only have so much months because it's, you know,
[01:52:50:15 - 01:52:59:05]
it's after summer, at least it's up February. So I got less than six months now. So I got to really figure things out quick. And my roommate,
[01:53:00:05 - 01:53:04:20]
financial situation starts to take a dive because he got the house. So, you know, he can't balance it too.
[01:53:06:00 - 01:53:25:11]
And I was real lucky to be able to pay the rent for both of us one month. But I knew I couldn't do it a second month. So the second month come and I'm like, yo, I got my rent. Do you got your rent? He's like, yeah, I got it. It's cool. Rent day comes.
[01:53:26:20 - 01:53:33:05]
He's like, I ain't got the rent. Yo, what happened? He's like, yo, so-and-so situation. I ain't got it. But don't worry. I talked to the apartment complex.
[01:53:34:06 - 01:53:35:23]
Homeboy said he gonna let us slide.
[01:53:36:23 - 01:53:40:19]
And he gonna let us stay for the month. But we got to make sure we pay both months rent next month.
[01:53:41:20 - 01:54:00:04]
And I'm baffled. I'm like, really? They ain't gonna evict us? Every mom seeing people evicted on the 10th and the 11th. He's like, nah. He said he got us. All right, cool. We're getting a late fee. He's like, yeah, we're gonna have to pay the $100 late fee. I'm like, all right, no bad. No, you know, whatever.
[01:54:01:07 - 01:54:11:16]
So second month come. Yo, you got the rent? He's like, yeah, I got the rent. Cool. Didn't have the rent. Some other reason, right? Didn't have the rent.
[01:54:12:16 - 01:54:16:02]
I'm like, all right. Well, I managed to scrap up some dough.
[01:54:17:13 - 01:54:38:06]
And so I go up to the apartment complex. And I'm like, look, I don't got two or four months rent. But I got like 80% of the total. So like, let me give you all the months rent last month. And then let me give you the remainder of this month that I got, which is still more than my portion, but just not the full $1,300. I think I had like $1,000 out of the $1,300.
[01:54:39:06 - 01:54:51:20]
And he's like, nah, man, you already am up behind. I want it all or nothing. And I'm like, yo, I mean, I'm trying to work with him. He's like, nah. And I'm like, yo, I thought you worked there with my roommate. And he was like, I don't know what you're talking about. He's like, what?
[01:54:52:21 - 01:54:59:23]
I'm not saying my roommate lying. I just think that dude was just being a douche because we didn't pay that second month's rent.
[01:55:01:11 - 01:55:12:12]
Tenth came around. And we didn't get evicted. But at this time, I'm like, I'm not rolling the dice again. Third month's rent. Probably ain't going to be here. I got to find a spot.
[01:55:13:23 - 01:55:20:11]
So I'm looking. As I'm looking, I look on Craigslist for some jobs too.
[01:55:21:19 - 01:55:29:06]
And I find a job. And I go to interview small business, great people.
[01:55:30:17 - 01:55:35:08]
And they gave me a take home assignment. And I'm like, all right. That's not easy enough.
[01:55:36:22 - 01:56:01:02]
And because I'm so like trying to figure out what everything's going on, I went and interviewed over the Monday. They wanted me to submit it by Thursday morning, Tuesday. I didn't do anything. Wednesday morning, I haven't done anything for the take home. I thought it was like, yo, when you're going to do it, I'm like, yo, it's easy. Trust me. I got this. What they want me to do, I can do. I can do it easy. So I do it. I submitted Wednesday, confident they're going to call me Thursday. They got me a job.
[01:56:02:07 - 01:56:09:07]
By the grace of God, they called me and they said they gave me the job. But I had to wait, I think, like a week before I start or whatever. But the job's an hour away.
[01:56:11:01 - 01:56:27:23]
And I'm like, okay, luckily, you know, my Chevy still kind of knew a model at the time from when I had originally bought it. So still was low on the miles. I was like, okay, cool. I go on up to the job and I'm letting them know, like, I'm about to be evicted, probably coming up soon.
[01:56:29:02 - 01:56:41:21]
And they're like, okay, don't worry about it. If it happens, you know, just go come back. You know, we understand. I'm explaining my situation to them. They're like, no, I get it. I get it. I get it. We know what we pay you. We know you should be able to afford that. So on and so forth.
[01:56:43:22 - 01:56:47:01]
But in case you get evicted, you can stay here in the warehouse.
[01:56:48:01 - 01:57:21:00]
Like what you mean is like, yeah, we'll give you a car. I'm like, no, I got to stay here because how are you going to call out of work when you live there? Right? Like, no. So like, no, don't worry about the car. I appreciate it. But I'll find something. So I go to apartment complexes. I start applying. As I told you, I've got application fees, administration fees, all these fees, but they're non-refundable. Go to one. They're like, no, you're about to get evicted one spot. No. Go to second spot. No. Third spot. Third spot. No. So at this point, I'm out like 500 bucks.
[01:57:22:01 - 01:58:04:05]
And I ain't going nowhere. And I'm like, yo, what am I going to do? I mean, I got the job because if I didn't get the job, I already had called my mom saying, if I don't get a job at the end of the year, I'm moving back home. But I can't move back home. I got a job now. I got nowhere to stay. So and no one going to take me because of this eviction. And the only way you're going to take me is if I pay off the balance on the eviction. But I don't have the money for that to pay that off now because I might have three months rent to cover up. And I can't do that. And so no matter what, I still got to get out this place because I'm not going to be paying $13,000 a month anyway. So no matter what, I got to find a place to go. I say to myself, no, I control my fate. I'm going to do this on my terms.
[01:58:05:14 - 01:58:38:17]
I'm going to live in my car if I got to. And so I stopped packing up my stuff. And I'm like, I'm going to pack up my stuff because it's going to go in my car. I'm going to live in my car. It is what it is. It's fine. Probably a great thing I did that because I go to work Monday morning at 9 a.m. 10 a.m. I get a phone call and it's a new number and it's a Georgia number. And I'm like, don't tell me. And I'm like, hello? It's like, hi, it's Jonathan. I'm like, yeah, it is. Yeah, it's the marshal. I'm at your place. We're not throwing everything on the curb. And I'm like, no way.
[01:58:40:11 - 01:58:41:04]
I'm getting evicted.
[01:58:42:08 - 01:59:07:00]
I was like, hey, man, I know I was going to get evicted, but I was trying to get out before you guys got in. He's like, I see that. It looked like one of y'all was at least packing. I said, yeah, that's me. He's like, you know, when can you get here? I said, I can get there, but I can't get there no less than an hour, maybe hour and a half because my job alone is 50 minutes without traffic in this Atlanta. So I don't know what the traffic's like.
[01:59:08:02 - 01:59:30:01]
He's like, OK, I'm going to do you a favor because you live far away and you look like you got some valuable stuff. He's talking about my iMac camera equipment. I want to just leave it on the curb and it gets stolen. I'm not responsible for it, but because you started packing, I'm going to come back at 12 o'clock. But whether you are or not, I'm back here at 12. All your stuff is going to be on the curb.
[01:59:31:17 - 01:59:33:20]
I'm like, OK, I appreciate that. Thank you so much.
[01:59:35:03 - 01:59:47:23]
So I rushed back and I get there and I guess my roommate also got the call. He's like, you know, I was like, yeah, I know. And he's also like our way. And so we both get there. I'm at least halfway packed.
[01:59:49:02 - 01:59:51:10]
So I start doing what was packed in the car.
[01:59:52:16 - 02:00:23:13]
And then I start grabbing all the other stuff. And as I'm doing that, the marshal's like, don't grab the equipment. He's like, you grab your equipment, but it's got to get out. I was like, OK, so I take it out and I put it in the car. And it seems I'm still at my job, right? Like, so I'm thinking to myself like, damn, are they about to fire me because of this? Because I've only been there like maybe a month and they have a deadline that I need. They want me done that anyway. And I need to be at the spot. I need to drive back to do that work.
[02:00:24:16 - 02:00:55:00]
So they call me like, when are you going to be back? When are you going to be back? And I'm like, I'm going to be back, promise by the end of the day. I promise I'll be back by the day. I'll be back there by four o'clock. So I got to be done here by three o'clock, which is now it's already about it's 12 o'clock. And there's a gang of guys just throwing stuff in garbage bags, putting it outside, put it outside, put it outside. And I'm over here just grabbing my stuff, trying to put in the car. And I realized real quick that I got a little more stuff than I came down here with now. And it's all in the car. My car is about full. And I don't got time to organize it. And so I started looking at my stuff. And I started really rationalizing.
[02:00:56:09 - 02:01:18:04]
OK, what do I not mind getting stolen? What do I not mind getting thrown in the trash? Because I'm going to have to leave and figure out where I'm going to put my stuff. And I also need to figure out how I'm going to get it. And I also need to figure out how I'm going to pay for where it goes and how it's going to get there. And then where am I going to stay? And I need to figure that out today during this whole situation.
[02:01:19:22 - 02:01:26:18]
And there's no option of going back in the apartment trying to sneak in because they changed the lock. And they changed the lock right in front of you. Not to change the key. Like they changed the lock.
[02:01:27:19 - 02:01:32:23]
And you're out. Sitting in the car in front of this apartment complex with people just walking around me. Right.
[02:01:34:10 - 02:01:42:18]
Like I'm really evicted. I've never gone through something like this. And I'm 1100 miles away from home.
[02:01:44:00 - 02:01:48:15]
This is 17 straight hour drive. No one's coming to help me today.
[02:01:49:23 - 02:02:01:05]
And I don't really have family here. Those people were good people. My bosses and my coworkers. Because my coworker was like, bro, you can put your stuff in my garage.
[02:02:02:08 - 02:02:30:22]
And I was like, how much you want for? He's like, nothing. I know what it's like. You go keep it in the garage. I don't use the garage. If anything, you give me an excuse to clean it up. All right. Thank you. But I'm not going to take up too much of your space. And I don't know how long it's going to be in there. It might be in there for some months. He's like, it can be in there as long as you want. I know where you work. I know you can pay some bills. I'm like, okay, thank you. Job is like, don't worry about renting your home. We got to work for you. You can use that.
[02:02:32:01 - 02:02:32:17]
And I'm like, okay.
[02:02:34:01 - 02:02:38:09]
And it was like, and also whatever you do want to keep that you don't want to bring to his house.
[02:02:39:19 - 02:02:41:03]
You're allowed to put it in a warehouse.
[02:02:42:04 - 02:03:15:14]
Put it in a small section though. So it's not in the way of everything, but we'll be respectful. We won't let anyone go next to it. And I'm like, all right. Now, I believe that I didn't want to live there, but a lot of my stuff was there. So many times on the work that would go to my boxes and grab something that I needed. That was mine. Whether it was an outfit or something. They're like, where are you going to stay tonight? I'm like, oh, that, that person that we know from back home lives in a Parma complex, like a building over. So we're just going to stay at that spot for tonight for sure. And I need to figure it out because this is Friday. I need to figure out where I'm going.
[02:03:16:14 - 02:03:21:08]
And then I start like just sitting on the reclining couch and.
[02:03:23:09 - 02:03:29:13]
Our stuff, mine and his stuff, it's just everywhere in the place. Like it's like little maze of pathways.
[02:03:30:22 - 02:04:02:18]
And because there's a lot of put things in there for the night, at least because I had to get to work for you and all that. And that wasn't going to happen until Monday. Like I got at least a little money for the weekend for food, fast food, just go sown out and just look for a spot. So I'm like, Google it, Google it, Google it, Google it, Google it, Google it. And then I find out about extended stays and I find out you can stay in extended stay for a week or for a month. So I start looking at rates and I'm like, Oh, what are the weekly rates?
[02:04:03:19 - 02:04:27:21]
And Atlanta rates, you know, more expensive than other spots. But my job is outside of Atlanta. My job is an hour away. It's in the outskirts. So I'm like, it would be better if I find a place near there. But I wonder if they have any near there. And there was a location for this franchise that was 20 minutes from my job. So I'm like, wow, it's short of commute, no traffic, what's it cost?
[02:04:28:22 - 02:04:35:20]
Wow. It's actually the cheapest place out of all of them. This is great.
[02:04:36:21 - 02:04:52:09]
But I can't go there until Tuesday because I believe Monday was a holiday. So I go and I get the fan Monday. I pack up all my stuff. I spend the day just after work, just sort of wee hours of the night, just bringing it everywhere.
[02:04:53:22 - 02:05:11:01]
And Tuesday I go up to the place and I walk in and I'm like, I want to, I want a room. And I go, okay. And I'm expecting this place to be just run down by crackheads and all types of shit. But I'm like, whatever. I'll just stay in my rooms. Peace of mind. Because at this point I'm just, I'm just kind of numb to it, right? Like emotionally.
[02:05:12:20 - 02:05:15:20]
I'm in like a limbo. Like my peace is disoriented.
[02:05:17:10 - 02:05:19:11]
My spirit's worn out.
[02:05:21:08 - 02:05:22:17]
My clarity is all numb.
[02:05:24:07 - 02:05:35:07]
And then like inside I'm like aching, just quietly. But I don't want no one to see it. So I'm still upbeat at work. But I'm, I'm stressed out. My coworkers love inherent story.
[02:05:36:11 - 02:05:39:07]
Because he's like, your life is wild, bro. Like you just met me, right?
[02:05:40:14 - 02:05:45:02]
And then he's like, wow, you're living in an extended state. And then I'm over here like, yo, the extended state is actually great.
[02:05:46:16 - 02:05:57:15]
Like, he's like, what's so great? I'm like, bro, they cleaned my room on Tuesdays. I got the heat quipped, right? Got like all utilities, part of the package. If you pay for five weeks upfront, you get, you know, the fifth week free.
[02:05:59:03 - 02:06:37:21]
And I can leave anytime I want. It's actually what I should have did when I moved to Atlanta. I'm staying at this place and I'm gonna stay. This is, this is my home. My mail is getting sent there now. And I'm going week after week because I don't want to like commit too much. So I did one month. I paid one month, but week after week, I'm paying. I'm paying, I'm paying. And at one point I went up to the lady and I realized school buses are being dropped off at the place. So I'm like, oh, am I a longest tenured tenant here? She said, well, how long you been here? At this point, I'm there for about four months. She's like, oh, you're not even close.
[02:06:39:02 - 02:06:51:08]
We have someone who's been here for seven years. We actually have apartments. You got apartments? Apartments like, yeah, we got apartments you can rent couch, everything, living room and all that. Not just a studio bedroom like you have.
[02:06:53:00 - 02:07:02:11]
So, okay. So I'm talking to done that done. It wants to come live with me. I'm like, then I can't, I don't have money to get in the party right now. Like, you know, like I'm just getting my spirit back.
[02:07:03:17 - 02:07:18:06]
She's like, I don't care. I just want to be with you. I'm like, okay. But when you graduate college, um, within six months, maybe you could come down here. She's like, no, I'm going to come down there as soon as I finish college. She's like, no point away. Don't make sense.
[02:07:19:06 - 02:07:35:09]
Originally, that wasn't an idea, but she came into that after and I was like, okay. And so she moves down and I'm like, all right, we're going to live in this motel for a few months. Save up some money. We'll get a nice apartment. I want you to pick the place.
[02:07:36:09 - 02:07:43:05]
Um, I can afford the rent. I just can't save up for the, you know, extra parts of that. Like a tojao administration fees, all these.
[02:07:44:07 - 02:07:59:09]
And so I want you to pick a place that's in this price range. And if you like it, we'll move in. I don't really care because I just came from roaches. I just met a victim. I just been this, I just been that I've been like my, my two years here have not been great. Like, like I've been, you know, once a day and like, you know, all this stuff.
[02:08:00:09 - 02:08:04:21]
And so not driving my car for weeks because not to waste gas or all these things.
[02:08:06:06 - 02:08:09:06]
And she's like, no, don't worry about it. I wasn't with you. I'm happy. All right.
[02:08:10:07 - 02:08:11:14]
Now she's visited me before.
[02:08:12:19 - 02:08:16:10]
I don't think it was a big deal because she didn't really bring much besides like a luggage.
[02:08:17:13 - 02:08:29:07]
This time she's bringing some luggage and some stuff. So we move into the motel while she moved in with me. We had like one fight. She was like, she had nowhere to go. She didn't like that.
[02:08:30:10 - 02:08:34:00]
So we make up that day.
[02:08:35:05 - 02:08:51:05]
And she looks at me and she's like, we're getting an apartment. This is day three. I'm like, yeah, like the end of the summer, maybe in a few months. She's like, no, tomorrow. I got some money for deposit, but I don't got money for rent.
[02:08:52:13 - 02:09:11:12]
I'm like, you got money for deposit? She's like, yeah, I'm like, my credit's not bad. It's not good either though. She's like, don't worry about it. I found a spot. She shows me the spot. It's actually a nice spot and it's roach free. And it's like five minutes from my job. So even closer. So I'm like, oh my God, awesome.
[02:09:13:00 - 02:09:44:00]
So we go and we move in. And from there, my life started to progress to the point where it is now where it's kind of blessed. Right. I got four kids. My wife got my home, my career, but then my job field ever since that first job, that first job, the people were great. It was great learning experience for me, but I still say the motel was probably the best thing that happened to me. It took the worst thing to happen. I mean, it slowly gets to the best thing.
[02:09:45:03 - 02:10:03:07]
It brought on a belief for me. And the belief is that how bad do you really want something? If you really, really, really want it, you're going to be tested and you're going to be tested again. You're going to be tested again and you're going to get tested to the point where you're at the brink of quitting like I was.
[02:10:04:19 - 02:10:16:05]
And that is your breaking point. And that's when you're going to be judged. You really want it. You get past it. And that's going to prove that you actually are willing to do whatever to get it.
[02:10:17:06 - 02:10:21:18]
So you're going to get it because you deserve it.
[02:10:23:05 - 02:10:42:05]
Not all happy stories, right? But I believe that's that's what it takes. And you get into the point where you need to quit. You have every right to quit. You deserve to quit. You should quit. No one's going to judge you for quitting. But if you don't, you'll get your blessing. Hey, thank you for listening to me. This is a long one.
[02:10:43:05 - 02:10:46:11]
My name is Jonathan.
[02:10:47:22 - 02:10:49:23]
Until next time with Dad.
