The Green Onions
Welcome to the Green Onions podcast! This podcast is where we throw out non-sense, some sense and whole lotta laughter. We talk about our daily lives and sometimes world events...maybe...
The Green Onions
Giggles, Gifts, and Pig Stories
From childhood memories that taught the Duo the power of words to the whimsical tales of pig pardons in sunny Miami, Common Sense Gurl and Noah cover it all. There's also a hearty discussion on fashion trends and societal norms, sprinkled with anecdotes about our podcasting journey. Whether it's the absurdity of selling bath water or the excitement of launching new podcast features, our camaraderie shines through. The duo wrap up with mutual appreciation for their growth and a promise of exciting new content, leaving you with a grin and anticipation for what's next on the Green Onions Podcast.
That’s a wrap for today on The Green Onions Podcast!
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Catch you next time — same time, same place, same awesome energy!
yeah, hey, hey, hey. Welcome to the green onions podcast. I am common sense girl and I'm noah, and this is the podcast where we throw out a little nonsense, a whole lot of sense, more like a whole lot of laughter.
Speaker 1:We throw out very little sense you got me oh, let's, let's go ahead and let's get it.
Speaker 2:Noah, how's it going? How's?
Speaker 1:life it's going so good. Anna, how was Christmas? It was like best Christmas out of like the ones in recent memory. It was like this Christmas comparatively to like the last five, six years. I was very here for it. It was awesome, awesome. What about you?
Speaker 2:It was great, it was great. You, what about you? It was great, it was great.
Speaker 1:You know we got a new. Did you exhibit your Grinch tendencies or no?
Speaker 2:no, I was more Cindy Lou.
Speaker 1:This year. Yeah, you acted like Cindy Lou this year. Yeah, I was more Cindy Lou, okay.
Speaker 2:But yeah, no, we have a new I don't want to say house guest. She'll be here for college. She's here, little ducky, old ducky. She grown now, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:So, she can pay my bills eventually, you know. Yep.
Speaker 2:That's why she complained about breakfast this morning. But whatever but it's cool.
Speaker 1:You're never grateful, huh.
Speaker 2:Never these children know it's like I'm one of them. I am, oh my goodness. Well, that is great. It's great to see you. I haven't seen you in a whole week.
Speaker 1:It feels so good to see you too. So for the listeners it was a very she got here and I was asleep, so I've been rushing until I sat down on this mic.
Speaker 2:So I don't know why he's rushing.
Speaker 1:I'm not trying to rush, I just think it's inherently a part of me.
Speaker 2:As long as he didn't keep me outside For 20 more minutes.
Speaker 1:You were out there for maybe 3. How many minutes it had, to be like 4 or 5, maybe 3 25 minutes. If we triangulate the circumfritude of the circumfritude.
Speaker 2:You just wanted to say that word.
Speaker 1:I think I just said, yeah, I had the word halfway and then I wanted to throw a different end.
Speaker 2:Yeah, circumfritude. I'm sure there's some English major out there like what? What does that mean?
Speaker 1:There is no word uh my goodness computitude computitude you can just add to to the end of anything apparently apparently you're a paulitude a paulitude, paulitudeitude. What's the root word of that?
Speaker 2:Apalt.
Speaker 1:Okay, apolitude, I like that.
Speaker 2:Shockitude.
Speaker 1:I'm here for it. Just throwing that out there, just throwing stuff out there. We're approaching the new year.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, are you excited? We're going to start y'all. For y'all who don't know, we're gonna start the daniel fast, january 1st 40 days, 40 nights. And for those who don't know what the daniel fast is, basically you can have whole grains, fruits and vegetables and water on this fast and it's, it's supposed to be a spiritual journey, trusting God the whole way through. And you know, resetting, resetting.
Speaker 1:See, I was excited about this last month. As we creep at a snail's pace towards the day, I'm regretting. I agreed to it. I'm not why. I'm not regretting, I just need the binder. I'm regretting. I agreed to it. I'm not why Not? I'm not regretting, I just need the binder I need.
Speaker 2:You will be fine. You're getting nervous over nothing. This is going to be a great experience.
Speaker 1:I'm ready. I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Now and then we have our like morning phone calls.
Speaker 2:Yes. During yes, so we can set the day, set the tone.
Speaker 1:Set the mood, the feng shui. The feng shui yes, the feng shui. Because we like to switch the feng shui.
Speaker 2:So yeah, we're doing this. I do it every year.
Speaker 1:I've never done a fast.
Speaker 2:It's one of my favorite fasts.
Speaker 1:I do unintentional intermittent fasting, which is basically just me forgetting to eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I mean, but yeah, no, we're going to be depending on God and everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to do this. I'm excited.
Speaker 2:And anybody who wants to join us. Definitely, we will be putting up verses.
Speaker 1:And you need to get in like and prayers and meditations, a group chat with us. Yes, we need a support group. We do Of people doing the Daniel verse.
Speaker 2:But I will have our verse, our Bible verses, daily Bible verses, prayers and meditation on our Instagram page. You're welcome. So if you guys want to join us or just drop a line you know, see how we're doing Call Green Onions HQ, HQ. So if you guys want to join, us or just drop a line.
Speaker 1:You know see how we're doing.
Speaker 2:Call Green Onions HQ, hq. Yeah, call our headquarters.
Speaker 1:And we'll be able to connect you with a representative.
Speaker 2:But no, it's perfect, so I'm excited.
Speaker 1:Do you have any New Year's plans? Well, the ones we have as a group Texas Roadhouse.
Speaker 2:And then bowling, you said Texas Roadhouse, yeah, they gonna charge you some taxes. And then Texas.
Speaker 1:Roadhouse. She said Texas. Oh, that's my, I'm waking up voice. Texas Roadhouse Bowling. And then back here For like to ring in the new year. You're invited, also I here, to ring in the new year You're invited also I know you better be coming.
Speaker 2:I'm in the chat.
Speaker 1:Are you coming? This was the whole plan of the podcast to grow you on like. Ask you here.
Speaker 2:Were you talking with Ian about it? I feel like it was a group thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's going to be a whole thing, but you're coming.
Speaker 2:We'll see.
Speaker 1:Remember, I'm like 105 and you guys are like that doesn't mean anything I might be asleep I'm 200 in dog years then I don't want to talk about how old I am.
Speaker 2:Like we're not gonna even do that to ourselves.
Speaker 1:Okay, fine before we get into the initial reading and the food for thought what for christmas? Summed up, what was the favorite gift you gave or received?
Speaker 2:like you can pick either well, I don't accept gifts, okay normally I try not to accept gifts.
Speaker 1:Let me take that back.
Speaker 2:I try not to accept gifts. Let me take that back. I try not to accept gifts for christmas. However, things end up on my desk at work and it's fine, um, they're into it, um, but I gave. I think the favorite gift I gave was nope, that was the birthday Was a Stitch bag.
Speaker 1:Like Stitch together.
Speaker 2:No like Lilo and Stitch. Oh yeah, yeah, I think that was one of the icings on the top. And then Was it just like the reaction of who you gave it to that made the present. Yeah, I think so. I think so. The other ones, you, you know, they're little kids, they're excited about everything yeah, so I'm like, I mean, they woke up excited.
Speaker 1:I'm like, uh, yeah, I'm not ready and I don't know if it's the weather, just like messing around, but it's weird, like with it being 70 today I know and usually in la. In LA it's like supposed to be warmer, so like, with the temperature dropping and then not dropping, it's got my innards all discombobulated.
Speaker 2:I know it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:But that's very cute. Who is it for?
Speaker 2:Actually, it was for the oldest, really, yeah, it was for her.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, yeah, she's for the oldest. Really, yeah, it was for her.
Speaker 2:She's a big fan, so we did that.
Speaker 1:I used to watch that show a lot when they put out the movies I like the movies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the kid still does the college kid.
Speaker 1:They're still hey.
Speaker 2:Not the little ones.
Speaker 1:You're talking to somebody with a full cartoon sleeve on my leg. You're right, you're right, you're right, I think I'm. Yeah, I think I'm siding over there, yeah I'll abort the mission.
Speaker 2:I'll back up my favorite gift.
Speaker 1:Honestly, like the gifts were cool, but for me it was family. I hadn't been able to spend time with my sister for a while, and just that experience with her and my dad. It made me feel cozy and warm, and that's what the holidays are all about Absolutely. She also is a banging cook, so she made some of the best food I have gained. I got home after the two-day thing and I got on the scale and I gained like 25, 30 pounds. I'm not even going to lie.
Speaker 2:We're going to have to have her on the show for the YouTube channel.
Speaker 1:She is insane. All my cooking tips I get from her. She's just a genius and good at baking too, and that's always my thing. Like I don't like baking because there's so much precision to it, with cooking there's more of like a like a funk like a yeah. Okay, if you want it cooked this much, then that's easy. Um gift wise, though my dad kills it every year, my mom killed it this year. Uh, yeah, it was uh, I'd have to say the green onion stuff. We got our first like couple merch I know.
Speaker 2:And then thank you, papa joel I know right.
Speaker 1:Hopefully they'll be widely accessible soon, but I'm wearing it right now. Actually, this would be a good time to have a camera on the show, but yeah, it was awesome. Holidays, family cheer spreading goodwill towards men. I said that at work the other day. I was like I said it was like off the cuff. I was like, hey, how you doing today to somebody and they're like good. And I was like, are you spreading good will towards men and they're like what huh?
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, I take that back. That's I don't think that's like a deep cut from the christmas lore no, probably not, probably not. Probably not. Alright, are we getting into the reading?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1:You're on. No, you're the opener.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, damn it, I'll mix this, up, see, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:She's not prepared. Green.
Speaker 2:Onions audience. Oh, I'm prepared.
Speaker 1:I just didn't want to be the first one to talk.
Speaker 2:She's always prepared. I just didn't want to be the first one to talk.
Speaker 1:She's always prepared.
Speaker 2:But here we are, she sleeps with two eyes open.
Speaker 1:Literally, and not because I want to Oof, I'm just joking, tell me about it All the insomniacs in the listening to the wake up.
Speaker 2:Wake up. That's Noah Okay, december 28th. On being Remembered. This is coming from the Daily Stoic 366 Meditations on Wisdom, perseverance and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hasselman.
Speaker 1:Hassel, don't give him a hassle.
Speaker 2:Everything lasts for a day the One who Rem, who remembers, and the remembered by mark aurelius marcus aurelius yep, sorry, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna cut you off, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1:You've let me stumble through enough of these I'm like yep, that's it.
Speaker 2:Meditations. Take a walk down 41st street toward the beautiful new y York City Public Library with its majestic stone lions. On your way up Library Way you'll pass a gold placard laid into the cement, part of a series of quotations from great writers throughout history. This one is from Mark Aurelius.
Speaker 1:Aurelius.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Marcus Aurelius.
Speaker 2:Everything is only for a day, both that which remembers and that which is remembered. The library itself was designed by the firm of John Maverin Carere.
Speaker 1:See when they get in the names bag. It's difficult, I get it.
Speaker 2:We need to just start making up names for these ones, oh Lord we're going to make up some firm, one of the 20th century's most accomplished architects. It combines the collections of such luminaires and philanthropists as Samuel Tilden, john Jacob Astor and James Lennox, and their names are carved into the stone. Today, the naming rights go to the hedge fund manager, stephen A Schwarzman. The opening of the library in 1911 was attended by President William Howard Taft, governor John Alden Dix and New York City Mayor William J Gaynor. The plaques you pass on your way were designed by the excellent Greg LeVere. Marcus's quote makes us ponder how many of these people have we heard of? Not a damn one.
Speaker 1:Exactly, we don't even know the name. Taft was easy because it was four letters.
Speaker 2:The people involved in the story of the library were some of the most famous men in the world, masters of their respective crafts which beyond imagination, in some cases, even along Library Way. Many of the famous authors are unfamiliar to the modern reader. They are all long gone, as are the people who remember them. All of us, including marcus, who is passed over by just as many unaware pedestrians, last for just a day at most huh it's kind of a little.
Speaker 1:No, it's not. It's kind of like the artist thing. I hate to say these words together, but I feel like with social media and stuff, people don't do it for what it's supposed to be done for, as opposed to just attention. Now, whatever field it is or whatever kind of, whatever art it is, it's not. It's done so you can tell people you do it and not because you have to do it for the soul and honestly I think, yeah, I think we need to get back to that um uh, just the just that like foregoing recognition, like I don't think you need.
Speaker 1:If you're setting out to do something and it makes your soul happy and it's like an expression of self, I don't think you should think you should get recognized or you're against, you're like any more profound than anybody else's idea and you need to post 40 Instagram or TikTok storiesok stories about it right I'm kind of over that, uh. But in regarding to marcus aurelius and taft or whatever, he was one of the bad presidents, I know that, but um, I think they just did it because it was in their soul.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think there was any outside pressure. I feel like the weight of social media and what can possibly come from doing something artistic, kind of clouds and waves, like shadows, the genuine, true purpose of what people in that time would do to just express themselves yeah does that tie into that quote at all? Do you? Are you following even a little bit?
Speaker 2:I think I'm following all of what you're okay, you're picking up what I'm putting in yeah, yeah, yeah, I've picked it up, put it back down and evaluated it.
Speaker 1:It is tying in.
Speaker 2:You know, I'll be like having a side eye. You'll be like, oh lord, here we go.
Speaker 1:Where's he?
Speaker 2:going, am I willing back in.
Speaker 1:Is this another one? Are we doing this again?
Speaker 2:No, ptsd, none at all.
Speaker 1:Mm-mm-mm. No, it is. I was thinking about that. Like stuff has progressed so much and despite the landscape changing. I think good art, in whatever field, and one that's not self-righteous or self-serving, and it's something you're putting out to the world so that they potentially can take what they can take from it to further themselves, that's like, whatever lane it is, the good and the pure intention in that will always overcome, like the saturation and the multitude of people that just want to do it, to do it. Okay, I worked through that. I worked through that on the mic, real time. She's watching my brain fire. I'm warming up the pistons, everybody. Okay.
Speaker 2:Like literally.
Speaker 1:Oh hey, that was good okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll give it to you was it okay?
Speaker 1:did you follow?
Speaker 2:we actually have a. She's not a guest, she's like an audience member in our studio here in la. Thank you for flying out, I know, and she probably thinks we're weird as hell, but it's cool it's cool, no're going to Rodeo after this. I'm getting my.
Speaker 1:G-Wagon.
Speaker 2:He's not getting a G-Wagon.
Speaker 1:We already had this I'm getting in my G-Wagon.
Speaker 2:He doesn't have a G-Wagon.
Speaker 1:There's three G-Wagons. You know he doesn't and he leased the. And it's my dick and shaft. No, no, no, my balls didn't show, oh Lord, those are my G-Wagons.
Speaker 2:Let me just say Mama.
Speaker 1:How far are we into the episode? Everybody that wasn't going to listen to the whole thing already tuned out, so I feel like we're good.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. So did you hear about this story about baby pigs getting Christmas pardon from Florida mayor in a Cuban twist on White House turkey tradition?
Speaker 1:No. Well, great, but they can't pardon people that sold weed.
Speaker 2:I mean, Wilbert is important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but my buddy that I used to get an 8, he was really nice. Okay, what about Wilbur's? He should have sold it in a state where it was legal. Well, that's the point you can't sell it in a state where it's legal, because it's legal, and you're just like an independent contractor and at that point you just need to pick up a wheelbarrow.
Speaker 2:And that's what we're saving Wilbur. Okay, I feel like this is.
Speaker 1:That was my dealer's name too Wilbur Wilbur Rettenbacher.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:Wilbur. Rettenbacher, who makes popcorn and the third, he gets very disgruntled. If you don't, we had to put a third, down there there was more of them. Wilbur Rettenbacher. The third oh lord.
Speaker 2:Well, that's why they probably really threw him in jail the morning episodes are great it had nothing to do with weed at all. They threw him in jail because of that horrible name. Well, I don't think it's horrible, wilbur. So your name after a pig and popcorn.
Speaker 1:I think it could have used some work shopping.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm sure they didn't have AI when we're coming up with his name, since he's the third one in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it could have used some work shopping For sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, so he's pig popcorn. Okay, gotcha I want to name my kid oh never, mind, I didn't have one okay, I was between sylvester and clarence, slarence, celeste solaric solarigans I. He said clarence. I have so many comments on that, the Clarence, that I think I should just abort the mission what if I named him Gumball or Darwin? No one's letting you name that baby that or Darwin. I'll suck up Darwin, but Gumball. Yeah, then I can call him Gummy. Gummy sounds too close to dummy.
Speaker 1:I want to name my kid like a dog and my dog like a person.
Speaker 2:Dear Jesus, please don't bless him with a dog so we can abort that mission. No, actually my dog name and dear Jesus, please.
Speaker 1:I think we've already discussed this, but the dog name I have in mind is Molecule. Okay, that's fine for the dog, but then the nickname will be Molly and I'll be like Molly. Dear Jesus, please let the mama be very aggressive.
Speaker 2:Molly Molecule means and be like Respusha, and do not let him name that baby Gumball.
Speaker 1:Who is Respusha?
Speaker 2:You never watched Norbit who Norbit?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I've seen Norbit.
Speaker 2:I hope she's aggressive. She's like no, you ain't named my baby Gumball. It's too close to Dumbball or Dummy.
Speaker 1:My kid's gonna get bullied. Your kid better not get bullied, he's gonna get bullied before he goes to school.
Speaker 2:How the hell is that possible? Who's bullying him you? The stuff he hears from the kids is gonna be like Dear Jesus.
Speaker 1:I was prepared. My dad ran me through bully boot camp.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the stuff he hears from the kids is going to be like whatever. I was prepared. My dad ran me through bully boot camp.
Speaker 1:Dear Jesus, we are going to have a babysitter for Noah to keep his own child. No, remember, did you have the multiplication tables, like how you would have like a minute to fill out like a hundred multiplication, yeah, timetables, yeah, did you do that, like were you good at that minute to fill out like a hundred multiplication yeah.
Speaker 2:timetables.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did you do that Like were you good at that?
Speaker 2:Yes, I was very good A student.
Speaker 1:I was good too, but the only reason I hated math, obviously. But they promised me that if I like got it, that they would take me to Chuck E Cheese. So we went to Barnes and Noble, I got a book and then I went to Chuck E Cheese and that's a day I very vividly remember. Why are there so many boogers? Like what kid was it? Like McDonald's play places aren't a thing anymore, but like it was the same with Chuck E Cheese. You'd just be crawling around on something and there'd be a fat ass booger.
Speaker 2:Like how did these kids have deviated septums. And when you went to chucky cheese, that's what you remember is a booger.
Speaker 1:When I went to chucky cheese no, I remember the fun stuff, the the star wars game, where you were on the lance feeder I mean, I remember that kind of stuff, but you deliberately remember a booger.
Speaker 2:I remember a rat, the piece of the wings and how I didn't like getting in the balls because they were terrified. They were not bleached and you know my mom cleaned everything in bleach so I got touched at a chucky cheese. I'm sure you did if you're rolling around in the balls it was like a phantom hand, the goat, mr Chucky himself. Oh God, and this is why we don't take the kids to Chuck E Cheese.
Speaker 1:No, you can take them. I think every kid needs to get touched, at least once it builds character. Okay, that got really dark.
Speaker 2:No, that's not how that works. Listeners.
Speaker 1:Okay, I take that back.
Speaker 2:Don't touch oh my God, we're going to be on Council Culture already this is going to be it.
Speaker 1:This is an R-rated podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're on Council Culture. You know how?
Speaker 1:people. This is obviously all satirical, like I'm not actually being serious. I said something the other day. Somebody came into the job, right? Oh my gosh, I was working with jack and I swear to god I, this kid, was mad. He had to like download the app and do the whole nine to get in for the day. I was like yeah, and he was scoffing the whole time and he was being so arrogant and but like you know me, you got a fake customer service. He walked away and I looked at Jack and I said I hope his dad beats him.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, like I hope.
Speaker 1:It was terrible. I was like how did that come to my head? And then I looked at Jack and I was like am I an asshole? And he's like you sometimes are. I don't think you know you're being one and I think when you say comments like that, you don't think how detrimental and actually hurtful that can potentially be to somebody. So if I cut, I cut deep. I figured that out.
Speaker 2:You figured it out. I figured it out a long time ago, but I'm glad I figured that out. You figured it out. I figured it out a long time ago, but I'm glad you figured it out. I go right to the bone. You do, yeah, actually, you cut through the bone.
Speaker 1:And then you have the nerve to try to put it back together. That's not how that works. I cut through the bone and try to stitch it up. I'm not even trying to heal the break.
Speaker 2:We're not putting no metal in it, just put the bandaid on that.
Speaker 1:You'll be alright. I think it's because I'm so like with how much I feel like I'm digging for compliments and stuff. I do feel like. You're great, noah, there's not a lot of stuff that can get to me. There's some stuff that I'll be like. Eh, I've had a lot of messy breakups and the type of shit people say to you in a messy breakup it makes your skin real thick real fast. So I'm pretty sure anybody that like doesn't know me isn't going to like affect me that much based on what they say.
Speaker 2:I ain't going to lie. I do like, when Noah does kind of get a little mad though, because it's kind of funny, I get in the pocket. He do, but there's some things he says about people I can't unsee. So it's hard for me to just look at some people and like ugh Garden gnome. Oh man no it would hit a point in school.
Speaker 1:One time I made a girl cry and it was because I thought she was cute. No, so it hit a point in school. One time I made a girl cry and it was because I thought she was cute. No, so it was in recess. And you know how when you're a kid, you kind of like the person you're kind of interested in. You're like, oh, you stink, you know. Yeah, like it's like a term of endearment, Like being like. Oh, they're gross.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I used to kickrey in the balls a lot oh I didn't know this thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, I come from a house full of steel toe. Nah, we're in arizona. It's tennis. It's tennis shoes.
Speaker 1:Tennis shoes, sandals oh no no, but there was this girl I found really cute. Her name was Olivia, but she was a little overweight. But I thought she was very cute as a kid on the playground. They were like the number 10. I called her fat, oh, and she was like a little chunkier Called her fat. This is the crazy part of the story, though he needed somebody to warm him up in the wintertime.
Speaker 2:He don't miss that opportunity.
Speaker 1:No, because yeah, I missed it. That was literally the sum up of my love life until now, apparently, but so I called her fat. And the funny thing about this story is when I was doing ACT testing, they do a pool, so all the schools in the area go to one school to do it.
Speaker 2:She was in my ACT class.
Speaker 1:She was a baddie, wasn't she? No, she was like anorexic because she kept taking Adderall. And I kept thinking I was like, and we had a conversation and she was like yeah, I'm really on, like, I'm just trying to lose weight. And I was like, did me saying what I said 10 to 12 years ago have any effect?
Speaker 2:Right, you started to feel bad about it.
Speaker 1:I was like holy shit, maybe words do, maybe my words do make an impact. Yeah, not the right impact, so I've been trying to work on it, I think, with the daniel fast. That's something I'm going to conscientiously be aware of. Yeah, I feel like I've rambled for 20 minutes oh, you did well oh it's tough I'm trying to get better.
Speaker 2:So you all know how I literally just said I love when he gets mad. I don't want him to get mad anymore because clearly he may have put this girl in the anorexic role oh, I can cut deep.
Speaker 1:I don't forgive myself for that.
Speaker 2:I lay awake and think about her well, as long as you feel bad about it in the hot way.
Speaker 1:Just kidding, alright. What's next?
Speaker 2:oh my gosh, I forgot to read this pig story. I don't know where it went so far we started oh, the pig story.
Speaker 1:That story is kind of cheeks how do we know?
Speaker 2:we never started it. It's about a pig who got pardoned not to get slaughtered, him and his friends. Wilbur Alfred Little.
Speaker 1:Margaret, is it the?
Speaker 2:one from Charlotte's Web. Ooh, he's old, that be old.
Speaker 1:Ain't nobody want to eat him anyways Are pig ears like dog ears.
Speaker 2:No, I thought pigs were just pigs.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Ask my ex oh, I'm joking which one? Oh shit, all of them, all of them.
Speaker 2:All my exes live in Texas.
Speaker 1:I got Georgia straight. I ought to go to Georgia State with tuition, as handled by some random.
Speaker 2:That's the remix. No, that's Drake.
Speaker 1:Well he's canceled now too. Okay, where are we going?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you probably. Read to me about the part yeah, yeah, this was within miami as the stars. A friday show in downtown miami. Baby pigs glinda why they need this damn pig, this god elfa faba, what white woman named a pig elphaba.
Speaker 1:What white woman named a pig Elphaba.
Speaker 2:And Glenda, I can do Glenda. Oh, that's wicked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, that makes sense you never have to worry about gracing the dinner table at the Cuban-American family's home on Christmas Eve. Really, public pardons for the two piglets were granted by the mayor of Miami-Dade County, daniela Levine Cava, in a seven-year South Florida riff on the White House tradition of partying two turkeys at Thanksgiving. The four-month-old pigs named after the good and wicked witches in the musical Wicked will live out their expected 12 to 15 years at an animal sanctuary south of Miami. I think that's pretty cute.
Speaker 1:That's very cute. Yes, I'm here for that.
Speaker 2:Now, these pigs have been around a little. I mean they're a little pigless, but why did y'all name them after the musical?
Speaker 1:I know you don't want my opinion on the topic.
Speaker 2:No, probably not.
Speaker 1:All right, what's the next? I love how we've hit that point where certain stuff you say to me I'm like you don't want to hear what I have to say about that, and you're like, actually I don't, you're just going to waste the air time. I have been playing guitar a lot that's.
Speaker 2:I know that's off subject, but Aren't you like a musician or something? Just started throwing it out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I've been getting better. I've been getting better.
Speaker 2:I'm like, yeah, that was way like awesome.
Speaker 1:A musician is very Posterous, no Pompous.
Speaker 2:So you're an artist. Sure, when is your single going to drop next year?
Speaker 1:Sometime. I'm still working out the bugs. I've had bed bugs for like a year, so I'm working out the bed bugs. I'm glad I got my own place in LA. I'm getting it fumigated.
Speaker 2:I'm glad I got my own place in LA. I hope you'll stay at the Ritz or something.
Speaker 1:I don't actually have bed bugs, I have termites. All right on to the next.
Speaker 2:I mean, it didn't get any better from there. You're one step from having roaches.
Speaker 1:I don't think you would step in my house if it even emanated the vibe of having any of those things.
Speaker 2:No, I wouldn't. We'd be doing a podcast in a parking lot somewhere?
Speaker 1:hell no, we actually. Hell yes, we would if you had. Okay, anna, we really need these pop filter things on here if you. I've been asking for them forever and I can't believe they got them delivered to you. Do you have a podcast?
Speaker 2:actually I do have a podcast at your house?
Speaker 1:no, and I want them because I'm trying to use them to make music too. I might go to oh, that's what he's doing.
Speaker 2:That's why, okay, now he tells me the real reason well, you bought a pack right like a yeah, they do come in a pack okay, good.
Speaker 1:Do you know? Lana Del Rey recorded one of her albums vocally on this mic that's awesome.
Speaker 2:See anything is possible. Impossible a dollar and a dream. Gravity on this, Mike. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:See, anything is possible, impossible. A dollar and a dream Gravity. What's her name?
Speaker 2:Glendaba. No, there's Glenda and then the other one was Elphaba. Yeah, which one's?
Speaker 1:it Ariana? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Is she fine now? Have you looked at her?
Speaker 1:no, she's kind of gaunt. Both of them are yeah, I mean, that's what happens when you date Spongebob.
Speaker 2:I just died.
Speaker 1:I just died, y'all somebody resuscitate me.
Speaker 2:No, lord, have mercy also.
Speaker 1:I don't think we hit this two points ago, but I also hope all the listeners and people that tune in had a wonderful holiday too.
Speaker 2:Yes. I'm sure they did, if they're listening to us. They had a great holiday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they made it through it, or it was so bad that.
Speaker 2:We're their only hope. We're their only hope, exactly.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm in Star Wars right now.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1:Green onions, you're my only hope.
Speaker 2:Obi-Wan Kenobi. He watches too much Disney Channel.
Speaker 1:No, I was a Nick kid. Actually, I was a Cartoon Network kid, and when I was in middle school I got into Adult Swim and then, no, it was Disney too. Wizards of Waverly Place, Gas show. My sister used to watch all that stuff, so I just watched what she watched. And then she got into, like, Gilmore Girls. So I've seen all the Gilmore.
Speaker 2:Girls. I like shows like that. Cw Psych.
Speaker 1:Psych is a great show. I feel like a lot of our podcast Is us just saying stuff we've watched, is it yeah?
Speaker 2:These people better watch it too.
Speaker 1:They'll become exponentially cooler.
Speaker 2:What was the?
Speaker 1:Williamson County dress code. I guarantee if they Watched half the stuff or listened to Half of the words we said, they'd get cooler.
Speaker 2:I'm serious, I'll be the first to say it especially our Williamson County dress code people, oh my god like where do they go, fuckboycom, to get their like fashion advice?
Speaker 1:also, I'm tired of wife beaters. Nobody wants to see that. They're supposed to be an undershirt. They're not supposed to be outside fashion advice Also.
Speaker 2:I'm tired of wife beaters. Nobody wants to see that they're supposed to be an undershirt. They're not supposed to be outside, they're not cholos.
Speaker 1:The fucking crazy thing to me is the people at our job. They're like well, the girls are able to walk around and nothing. Why can't I? Because you're ugly. Nobody likes dudes, nobody wants to see dude like that's why how about go get some swag but?
Speaker 1:wife beaters are not workout unless you're freaking cholo in the hood in la I mean you gotta wear a wife beater like correctly, and none of the people have the body type to wear a wife beard correctly, like all the fitness influencers and shit. I'm like dog, this is the dumbest. No, I can't wait for that industry to crash and burn to the ground it's not hard.
Speaker 1:All you gotta do is like lift lift it's like the easiest fucking thing and then you act like you're the one that does it right, like no bitch. You still are ugly as fuck and you have no swag. Gym shark clothes are ugly all that shit's ugly. Get a personality funny story.
Speaker 2:He talks about Gymshark because it's in here thinking about like Get a fucking personality.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:No, they all wear, they all have a. Have you ever had anything move?
Speaker 1:you I'm specifically talking to the person that's wearing Gymshark right now. Have you ever looked at the sunrise and felt something? Because I doubt it.
Speaker 2:Yes, the wind going through the front of their hair with their just a bieber swoop cut and their mullet going in the back.
Speaker 1:that's what they had I guarantee they unironically listen to yeet. No, not even yeet. I guarantee, all right, I'm going to stop. I could keep going.
Speaker 2:I know you can and.
Speaker 1:I don't know, like, do you ever work at that like work and like they're just all like copy paste of the same person? Yeah, so like, do you ever feel kind of like a misnomer? Because I feel like that. I always feel like I'm the one that's kind of like am I different in a bad way?
Speaker 2:Oh no, I think I'm different in a great way. Yeah, me too, Because.
Speaker 1:I actually have substance somewhere. Yeah, I might have to look for it sometimes but I'm like, I'm my own person, I love this and and also they probably do have something somewhere, but like what they're displaying on the outside doesn't want me to like I don't want to learn anything about that and 90 of the girls that they like come up and they're like, wow, that girl's bad. They're definitely just gonna be like a apple sack and pet. They're not gonna do shit.
Speaker 2:So it's kind of like I don't know you know, you're right, they come in there and they, you know.
Speaker 1:There's no passion, no gumption. They don't have any passion or gumption Because they don't have any identity of themselves. That hasn't been given to them from fucking Jim Shark. Alright, I'm done. That was it.
Speaker 2:I don't think we're getting sponsorship from Jim Shark.
Speaker 1:Fuck Jim Shark.
Speaker 2:Damn, they make a lot of money.
Speaker 1:No, we'll go. Fabletics I like.
Speaker 2:Fabletics, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Fuck, carbon Fuck, all right.
Speaker 2:I like it. I got it Promoted to you by Fabletics.
Speaker 1:No, I really like the working out aspect of self-improvement. It's just what we related to back to Marcus Aurelius. It's not self-improvement anymore, it's how can I do this so other people view it? And I have this persona that I'm putting out that honestly. In my opinion, they put it out and they don't believe in themselves. Maybe I'm viewing that surface level, but I don't know. I just really respect the people that go in and don't Like you know the people there every day same routine, and they're just doing it for their mental health.
Speaker 1:Yeah, People like that y'all can wear a wife beater and I won't judge you at all, but the little fuckwads.
Speaker 2:I think they're the ish.
Speaker 1:Go home.
Speaker 2:And got a half a titty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fine, or call it a pick, or like the people that have been working on a couple weeks that don't have the body to pull it off yet but think they can.
Speaker 2:I kind of like that confidence.
Speaker 1:Those are the funniest people. I like that confidence too. I'm being very judgmental this morning, aren't I?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I take it back.
Speaker 2:You should have brought him a Red Bull or something, but I didn't know it was going to be this way. We never had this problem before this problem.
Speaker 1:yeah, you woke me up early she called me I opened my eyes and I had hit speaker and she said I'm outside, I'm like god damn it.
Speaker 2:She was like I told you I'd be and I was late. I gave him a courtesy and I was late. I mean jeez, but I didn't know it was going to be this rough for him.
Speaker 1:Okay we need something positive. I feel like 15 minutes of this podcast has been me ranting about how unoriginal fuckwads are.
Speaker 2:Okay, you need something positive. You want to hear the story about the Detroit area library Says the Chicago man can keep an overdue baseball book 50 years later. Can you imagine the fees on that? First of all, bro, you still have the book. Kudos on that. Kudos on that. Um, I just think that's funny, um what was it? Um a man. You laughed at the punchline but a man.
Speaker 1:uh, what was it? A man? You laughed at the punchline.
Speaker 2:But a man. 50 years later he has the baseball book. A Chicago library said he can keep the book.
Speaker 1:What were the fees? What were the fees that racked up?
Speaker 2:I don't know, but it was too damn much. He probably couldn't afford it. I'm like first of all, you have the book.
Speaker 1:I gotta take out a second loan on my house to finance the book from the library.
Speaker 2:But I'm like you have the book and then you have audacity to try to return it. I would have been like honey, we don't even remember. Honestly, I think it's just pretty impressive. Think about it. About 50 years ago, I don't think they had the catalog. Well, not the catalog, but the the discography. Yeah, to.
Speaker 1:The resume.
Speaker 2:To keep track of the books.
Speaker 1:Oh no, that's like backlog.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they don't have the backlog. I'm like that information from the IBM.
Speaker 1:Do libraries still exist?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they do.
Speaker 1:Oh, we were supposed to get Kindles for each other.
Speaker 2:Yes, we are.
Speaker 1:We just didn't and you were saying a place, but don't continue to say that place, because we're not there.
Speaker 2:There is a library that is really nice.
Speaker 1:Here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very nice Nice.
Speaker 1:I used to love librariesbury. I had like a like a memory of being sick. Whenever I was sick and I'd stay up from school like actually sick, not like fake sick I would always go to my mom, would take me to get ginger ale, a snack of my choice, which always sucked because the day she would buy food you're sick, so you're not like hungry so and then we'd go to the library and I'd be able to pick out, which always sucked because the day she would buy food you're sick, so you're not hungry and then we'd go to the library and I'd be able to pick out a DVD.
Speaker 1:Your ass is sick and you went to the library spreading your little cooties all over the place. No, we would pick a DVD that I could go back and watch.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you weren't going all over the place spreading your little germs.
Speaker 1:I'd get Scooby-Doo. That's where I watched the first batman like 1940s, not batman superman the 1940s, like animated superman. They had that dvd at the library I used to go to as a kid nice and it was like my favorite looney tunes. I would just. I liked being sick, but I didn't like spaghettios. Oh my god, spaghettios with the meatballs. She'd make those.
Speaker 2:He's like I'm going to go buy me some SpaghettiOs today.
Speaker 1:Well, this time of year always makes me like, nostalgic for like sick this is always the time people get sick. I feel like and have memories with being sick. Well, hopefully you don't get sick. Is that just me?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's just you. All right, I'm going to let you roll with that one Fart, but you're on a good roll with the whole nostalgia part. Yeah, I get that part. Yeah, sick, I wouldn't have put it all together, but hey, here we are.
Speaker 1:Well, there's some nostalgicness to being sick. I feel like we all had our stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had chicken pox during Christmas and gave it to half the class and then they got healed before I got healed and they all went to a Christmas party up the street.
Speaker 1:You had chicken pox.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then Santa came down the street to visit me and that's why I got some of the scars on my face, because I had really bad chicken pox. Someone requested over.
Speaker 1:It was really bad.
Speaker 2:There's a vaccine for chicken pox. Now right, yes, there's been a vaccine, I had the vaccine, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:Oh, it just didn't work. It sure didn't, and my grandmother tried to get me to give it, if you give me chicken pox.
Speaker 2:Well, my grandmother tried to get me to give it to everybody else in the house and no one was biting. And my sister never got chicken pox and literally everybody in the house had it at least once. Is it like a cannibal?
Speaker 1:thing. Is it like human flesh eating disease? No Like if you get chicken pox. It's like bath salts.
Speaker 2:No, and then you think everybody else is chicken. No.
Speaker 1:Where did chicken pox come from? Did it stem from chicken? I don't know If it did shoot. I should have chicken pox come from Did?
Speaker 2:it stem from chicken. I don't know If it did shoot. I should have chicken pox every day then.
Speaker 1:If you get chicken pox, you should get a lifetime supply of chicken from Tyson.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's how that works.
Speaker 1:Let's brand diseases, let's get sponsors. Okay, so smallpox or let's just blackmail businesses, saying that they gave us a certain thing and the only way it's gotta be easier than this. I feel like, morally though, I wouldn't be able to do some shit like that no, cause. You know, it's like people that sell their bath water but don't actually sit in the bath water. They just fill a cup with water Like morally. Well, morally you couldn't even get in the bath water and sell what you're promising to people.
Speaker 2:First of all, that's just gross Like how are we to?
Speaker 1:that point that we're desperate. How do people live with themselves? How do they sleep at that? We're selling bath water.
Speaker 2:Why are we selling bath water Well?
Speaker 1:bath water that they were in. Morally, that's okay.
Speaker 2:Who's buying that? Some freak in China, like, why, like, tell me why, like. Why are we selling bath water? Is time that hard? I know I spent a crap ton of money in the past couple days on food trying to feed the family, but times isn't that hard now I'm selling bath water. I'm one step from selling piss then. If that's the case, who needs clean pee?
Speaker 1:Can you imagine some guy buying your clean pee and then they're like sir you're pregnant. There's probably a hefty market for that with drug testing.
Speaker 2:They're like sir, you know you're six months pregnant. What yeah, you got it from Anne Louise. Like just ridiculous, what the Sam Dickinson's monkeys.
Speaker 1:I just showed her a picture. But I am excited for the new year. We got stuff coming up. Talk about the future a little bit. We got there are going to be some improvements to the Green Onions podcast, letting all the listeners know that there is going to be some upage of quality and we will start putting out video form content.
Speaker 2:It'll be on our YouTube channel, which, believe it or not, we do have a YouTube channel as well.
Speaker 1:So follow it now, because it'll be soon when that stuff starts dropping. Also, we'll be getting back in clips. I've been working on a little theme song.
Speaker 2:Stuff will Book clubs.
Speaker 1:Book club. We got a lot of stuff planned for the new year, so um everybody that has listened, we appreciate you very much and are thankful and grateful and keep listening. Just happy to be doing it for y'all too. I think this has been a super fun thing that me and Anna get to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Believe it or not, you know I learned a lot about Noah.
Speaker 1:Which what? Okay, that's, I think.
Speaker 2:And I think he learned a lot about me too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think this point of us in this podcast relationship thing, what before we started this and you didn't know all you know now, what was your initial impression of me?
Speaker 2:oh, I thought you were. Oh, before the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like training day and then when we would talk a little bit.
Speaker 2:So training day, I think noah was, I don't know what, the. I don't know if it's a me thing, a him thing or a we thing, but he was. I was his first trainee on our job and he's asking me if he's doing okay. Now let me remind you one I've never even worked in the industry. Two um, you're probably training me. I don't know if you're doing well. I don't know if you're telling me right or wrong. We're gonna figure it out right. But he is questioning and asking am I doing well? Are you learning anything?
Speaker 1:which I was. I obviously did good, if you're something yeah, but he was very like.
Speaker 2:He was very nervous, very worried about it, and I was just thinking in my head me yeah, I was just like, oh, what a sweet kid, but I'm gonna need baby boy to get it together. Um, and then, as I got to know him, he's just as humorous and light hearted as I am, so it just mesh, because I'm like I don't like to deal with people who have no sense of humor or no common sense it drives me stone cold.
Speaker 2:I don't care if you got a second grade education. Have some sense of humor, have some common sense and have some self-respect. If you don't have those, I do not want to deal with you like we. You just stop talking to me because I'm not. No. Um, now fast forward. One thing I learned about Noah. Yes, he definitely goes hard, but I'm not gonna lie in the moment. Sometimes when he's going hard, depending on what is going on, I'm like oh lord. And then there's some times when he goes hard and it's so funny because as he's talking, I'm getting visuals in my head and I'm like dude, I have to interact with these people and I can't unsee it, which means I probably can't take them See.
Speaker 1:That's what I see all the time. So the visuals you get from me telling you these things are what just go through my head. Visuals you get from me telling you these things, or what just go through my head. How do you think I don't laugh at people's face sometimes when these thoughts just happen?
Speaker 2:I'm just like, oh well, they're just a nice person. And Noah's like no, no, have you looked at their face? And these? Little short things, I'm just like oh my gosh, but I notice he goes hard, very loyal and he thinks about every aspect of life.
Speaker 2:And when I say he thinks about it I mean like Overthinks about it, yeah sometimes he overthinks about it, sometimes he takes it to heart and my wisdom and discernment is like bro, let it be. I mean, it's still gonna be there, there's nothing you can do about it. You can't fix stupid. Sometimes you just can't fix stupid. It's not you can do about it. You can give them the water, but if they don't drink it, not your problem, not your problem. I'm sorry you're dying in the desert, but I gave you the gallon of water. Drink the water. And noah overthinks. And it's crazy because, although I, you know, give him this advice, at the same time, when I was his age and even younger, I was doing the exact same thing overthinking it, taking it personal, trying to fix it, trying to solve it that makes me feel bad and so it's kind of like.
Speaker 2:It's just kind of like, it's like goes you just kind of it just falls off and you're saying, oh well, that sucks for you. Shit, I gave you the water yeah so that is definitely one thing.
Speaker 2:It has actually been. I don't know how long I've known Noah Two years to one year, I don't know A while Longer than a week and it has literally been not only a pleasure getting to know you, but it has literally been such a big growth for me Because I'm learning aspects of myself that I didn't even know was there, or still there, wow. So it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:I love it. That was one of the most genuine and complimentary things Anna has ever said to me.
Speaker 2:Yes, and you got it on record.
Speaker 1:I do, I have it on a microphone. Yeah, you got it on record. I would say the same With you.
Speaker 1:I just didn't, I didn't know like, how caring and like how, like you, you sometimes put off this, like cold, like, oh no, screw them xyz, but like I try that one time, when we had the bad the, the, the episode that was like the existential crisis episode that isn't out uh, I don't think it ever will um, it was immediately just like care, like it. It wasn't something I had to ask for and it wasn't something she had to try to do. She's just like this caring person that, uh, I think, just wants to see the best in everybody and that's something that I despite you not showing it all the time when- when I'm not a good shower when you get to primal brain it comes out immediately, which is something I'm really drawn to and appreciate, so obviously a lot more.
Speaker 1:But you said it all about me, so just ditto to you on all the stuff yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, normally it's you, you're, you're the more complimentary, you're letting people know how life is and feelings, and I love you and I'm like, yeah, that's nice yeah, I'm good at that yeah, you, you are. Yeah, I'm to try to work on that.
Speaker 1:All right, let's stop blowing smoke up each other's ass. What Do we have anything else on the list, because I think we're nearing time.
Speaker 2:No, we don't actually, and thank you for our one audience member.
Speaker 1:Wait, do a little clap and let's see if it picks up. Wait, we little clap and let's see if it picks up. Wait, we need like a laugh track. Oh yeah, what about airplane food? Oh, she didn't laugh, never mind. Uh, she's like oh, I didn't know. Oh, there's a punch line to the airplane food thing, it's not. What about airplane food? And then nothing. Uh, okay, are we hitting it?
Speaker 2:yeah, you're on. I'm just here for the party, alright, everybody.
Speaker 1:Our outro today comes from Mark Nepo, from the Book of Awakening. It's December 28th today, and this is from Rabbi Jonathan Omerman. Integrity is the ability to listen to a place inside oneself that doesn't change even though the life that carries it may change. Let me run it back. I didn't read beforehand, anna didn't either, because she had so many names. Integrity is the. I didn't read that one, anna didn't either, because she had so many names. Integrity is the. I didn't read that one before. He's right. Integrity is the ability to listen to a place inside oneself that doesn't change even though the life that carries it may change. From Mark Nepo.
Speaker 1:Much of our journey throughout this book has been about discovering that place inside and cultivating the ability to listen to it, while having compassion for the life that carries it. It moves me to share the story of a troubled man who, exhausted from his suffering and confusion, asked a sage for help. The sage looked deeply into the troubled man and, with compassion, offered him a choice you may have either a map or a boat. After looking at the many pilgrims about him, all of whom seemed equally troubled and confused, the man said I'll take the boat. The sage kissed him on the forehead and said go, then you are the boat. Life is the sea, as we have discovered so so many times. We have everything we need within us. This ability to listen inside is our oldest, or you are the boat yes, love it so yeah, go sail the seven live lives lives of wives no go sail.
Speaker 1:The seven lives like the seven seas.
Speaker 2:Okay, just make it sure.
Speaker 1:Well thanks for tuning in everybody.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:Anna, sign us off.
Speaker 2:And we're out and thank you guys all seriously for listening to us. We do appreciate your support.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you. Click like and share Merch coming soon.
Speaker 2:Yes, merch is coming soon. Well, a lot of stuff is coming soon, but, thank you, have a good day thank you.
Speaker 1:Have a good day. Is so formal? Yeah, good one. Alright, we're out.