Finding Joy While Single: Love Without Losing Yourself

Being single doesn't mean you're incomplete—it means you're building a life that’s full on your own terms. In this honest and empowering episode, Shanta explores what it means to seek love while staying rooted in self-worth. From heartbreaks to catfish scams to men who prey on vulnerable women, the dating world can be a minefield for single moms just looking for connection.

But there’s another path: one of joy, clarity, and protection. Shanta shares personal reflections and red flags to look out for, while also unpacking how to protect your peace, your finances, and your heart in a world that often tells women they’re nothing without a man.

💬 This episode is a reminder that love is beautiful—but so are you. Alone doesn’t mean broken.

Transcript

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Hey mamas, welcome back to the mommy pod, the space where we don't sugarcoat it, we soul talk it. You guys, I don't know, chat GPTV these intros and I'm just going with it. I'm your host and today's episode is what I've been holding in my heart. I've been thinking about it for a while. It's called finding joy while single, love without losing yourself. Because as women, especially single women, especially women who've been through it, the desire for love can feel like a tender ache, a deep hope, a vulnerable longing. And when that longing is deep, sometimes we ignore the red flags. Sometimes we let charm talk over clarity. And sometimes we get caught up in someone else's game. I... don't ever want to get into that situation where i feel like i need to be loved and i walk blindly into relationships that can harm me or harm my children and i don't see that happening let's talk about the dark side of dating in the digital age i've seen and some of y'all have lived the horror stories of catfish scams. Men running businesses using women's bank accounts. Charmers who love mom and ghost. Men who prey on vulnerable, kind, lonely women because they know we want to believe in love. It is heartbreaking because we deserve love. Real, healthy, deep, safe love. But love shouldn't require abandoning your instincts or compromising your peace. How to not get there. This segment is about how to not get there. How to not allow someone to just disrupt your peace and bleed you dry. Let's be honest. When you're worn down from life, tired of carrying everything alone and desperate for someone to see you, it's easy to slip. So how do we not get to that point? One, stay rooted in your worth, even when you're lonely. You are not too hard to love. You are not too much. Love doesn't come with pressure, Panic or persuasion. Ever. There should not be someone pressuring you or making you feel panicked or persuading you to do anything in order to get their love. Move slow. Number two, move slow. Watch what they do, not what they say. Vast intimacy often hides slow poison. Trust isn't built in a week of text messages. So, down. Number three. Keep your finances separate always. No matter how convincing their story may be, no one should be asking you for money up front. No one should be asking you to front money. No one should be asking you to open bank accounts. And no one should be asking you to help them build their business. You don't know them. You don't know them from Adam. I don't know why people say that. I have a friend named Adam and I know him well. So it's always a weird saying to me. But anyway, that's just bizarre to think that they need you that bad. And they have no one else. If this person or anyone. Has their own situation. And are doing well. They don't need you for that. They need you for other things. Like relationship things. Just wild. Number four. Don't ignore the unease. Your body knows. Your spirit knows. If something feels off. Even though you gaslight others, don't gaslight yourself. Don't stop gaslighting others. Maybe start with yourself first. Yeah, if something feels off, it's probably off. Number three. Oops. Besides that, there's so much joy in singleness, even when it's hard. Even when you've been doing it for years. Being single is not a punishment. Let's shift gears a little bit. It's not a punishment. It's protection. It's an invitation to grow, to heal, to flourish, and to fall in love with yourself. I feel like people who are single... It's our time. I don't know why I say people because I am. It's our time to grow. It's our time to heal. It's our time to flourish. It's our time to fall in love with ourselves. And if we don't do those things, we're not going to find the person that we can do life with. Because we can't even do life with ourselves. I'm learning that joy and singleness comes when you stop seeing yourself as incomplete. Start building a life that you love, that you enjoy. Not just by filling it up with dopamine and things that you think you have to do to enjoy. And not just waiting for someone to love your life with you. Just start building one that you love. Fill your own cup so full that anyone who enters your life only adds and never depletes. You are allowed to want love and still protect your peace. You are allowed to be hopeful and cautious. You are allowed to be soft and have strong boundaries. Love isn't a trap. When you love yourself first. To everyone listening who's been scammed, ghosted, or gaslit. To every parent who got caught up in someone's lies because you just wanted to feel seen. To every heart still hopeful but healing parent. You are not foolish. You are human. But now you're wiser. And from that wisdom comes power. Love doesn't require losing yourself. And the right person won't ask you to. So while you're single, grow deep roots. Water your joy. Heal your wounds. And know that your wholeness is not up for compromise. This is the Mommy Pod. And I'm here to remind you that you are worthy, you are wise, and you are whole, with or without a ring. You got this. Thanks for listening.