Living Without PMS: Understanding Your Body and Reclaiming Your Energy

In this episode of The Mommy Pod, wellness coach and Physician Assistant Amy joins us to talk about menstrual health, PMS, and how women can live in tune with their bodies.

We talk about:
• Why PMS isn’t something you have to accept
• How to understand your monthly cycle
• Small changes that can improve your energy and mood
• Amy’s personal journey through infertility, cancer, and healing

This episode is a reminder that women deserve to feel good in their bodies every month—not just survive through it.

https://subscribepage.io/LifewithoutPMS

Amy Dave
The Wealth of Wellness
Stop just surviving with your monthly symptoms. Learn how to thrive without them.

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Website: https://thewealthofwellness.com/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Today's episode is one that so many moms need, but not enough of us talk about. You guys, if you're not a mom or you don't have a woman in your life, go ahead and skip past this episode. I'm gonna tell you right now. It is for every woman, and you need to hear this. It is for us to take care of ourselves, and it is time that we know this secret because it's not a secret. There's just not enough research about it, and we are so lucky that we have this mom, Amy Dave, who has done the research. Today's episode is about how mom's dressed on this Valentine's Day, trying to get this episode out to you. These kids are chasing me everywhere. I told them let's play hide and go see because I can just do this intro really, really quickly. Today's episode is one that so many moms need, but not enough of us talk about openly our cycles, our hormones, and how our bodies actually feel month after month. Because so many women have been told that PMS, exhaustion, mood swings, and pain are just something that we have to live with and deal with. But it's not true. What if it isn't true? It isn't. I'm already telling you, it's not true. Today we're joined by Amy. Amy is a physician assistant and a women's wellness coach who teaches moms about menstrual health and how to live a life without PMS. Amy helps women understand their bodies, live in tune with their monthly cycles, and experience what many of us don't realize is possible. Feeling good all month long. Again, Amy, welcome to the Mommy Pod. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I'm excited to talk to you today.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Again, I have children in the background, so it might be a little bit noisier than usual. But Amy, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what led you to focus on women's health?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Sure. So I have been a PA for 25 years. Um, and I was always uh big on preventive medicine, uh, so preventing things like heart disease and diabetes and cancer. Um, but I didn't know that you could heal your PMS symptoms at that time when I was working. Um and I suffered with terrible PMS every month. I had, you know, cramps, bloating, irritability. I was always angry. I was not sleeping, so I was exhausted, and then I had heavy bleeding and it would last for many days. So I had all these symptoms. And eventually I learned how to get rid of them with things like diet and exercise and stress reduction and better sleep. Um, and once I did that and my symptoms went away, I realized that you know, the doctors don't get much nutrition training. Um, and I didn't get much nutrition training either as a PA. And this is not something that they will tell you. Like, you know, if you go to your doctor with PMS, they'll just say, well, you could you can take the pill, you know, you can take your pain medicines, you can use your heating pad, and then you push through it. Um, and that's not the only option. You can get rid of your symptoms.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

All right, that is so interesting. I've noticed that, and we'll dive more into it. Um, but I have so many questions, like about the proper meats to eat before um your cycle. Because I've heard that if you eat beef your cycle, um, before your cycle, your cramps are likely to lessen.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

So if that's well, so the red meat has iron, which is something you lose when you're bleeding. Um, iron is a key component for of your blood, right? So when you lose the blood, your body needs more iron to make new red cells. Um it's not the beef itself that gives you less cramps, it's more like anti-inflammatory foods. So um things that reduce the the inflammation in the abdomen would be like berries and ginger and um you know, celery and lots of roasted veggies and things like that. And then there are some foods that can make uh cramps worse, which would be like dairy. So you might want to avoid dairy for a couple days before your period, or um, for some people it's gluten, for some people it's fried foods or processed foods. Um, and if you just start becoming aware of like the foods you're eating and what you're feeling, you will start to see patterns.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah. And what made you passionate about teaching moms about menstrual health? Is it because I know that you mentioned that you dealt with your own symptoms, you were and as a physician assistant yourself, you realize that doctors don't get a lot of nutrition training. So is that what drove you and made you passionate about it? Or is no.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Um, so before I, you know, learned about all this and stuff, I was I was a stay-at-home mom, I was a PTA mom, I was doing all the things for my kids, right? I was making them cakes and um we would build Legos together and do all these activities, but I wasn't really happy. I was always tired, I was always stressed out, I was yelling at my kids and my husband. Um, and I just didn't feel good all month long. And uh all of those things were affecting my relationships with my husband and my kids. And once I felt better physically, I noticed that I was waking up refreshed and I had more energy for my kids. I was not yelling at them as often. Um, you know, I could be present fully when they were telling me a story or when we were doing an activity, and you know, I wasn't worried about my pain or my stressed out about something else or whatever it was. So um I know as moms, we get very busy with the kids. Um, we forget to take care of ourselves sometimes. And if you take care of yourself, you'll be a so much of a happier mom for your kids.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

For sure. I definitely believe in that. And what are some of the biggest myths that women believe about PMS?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Um, so the biggest one, and I believe this too for many years, is that it's just a normal part of being a woman, and you just have to push through the pain. You do not. Um, it is not normal. Your PMS symptoms are your body's way of telling you that something's off. So um, if you're having a lot of bloating, you may be having gut issues. If you're having migraines, you know, maybe you're dehydrated or you're lacking some vitamins and minerals, uh, maybe you're not getting enough sleep. So your symptoms are your body's way of telling you that something's wrong. And when you fix those things, those symptoms go away.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Mm-hmm. And what let's talk about living without PMS? Because you talk about that you can live a life without PMS, which is really surprising, and I'm sure it's a surprise for a lot of our listeners. So, is it really possible to live without PMS?

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Yes, it is. Um, so if you're a woman and you have your monthly cycle, you go through four phases every month. And in each of these phases, your body needs different nutrients, you know, vitamins, minerals, fiber, things like that, and different exercises in each week of the phase of the month. Sorry. So if you're eating the same way every day and you're doing the same exercises every day for the whole month, you're not working with your hormones because they fluctuate every week. Whereas if you change out what you eat, and it's not hard, it's some weeks your body is like in a summer season and you want more like raw foods and cold foods and um, you know, just things to cool you down. And then other weeks, like when you're bleeding, your body is naturally cold. So you want more warming foods, you want soups, teas, you know, you want to dress a little bit warmer because your your body temperature is naturally lower when you're losing blood. So it's just simple shifts like that um for every week in the month that can really improve your symptoms.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Wow, that's really interesting. Um, especially with the the um the eating and tailoring your your meal plan to your body. Because I think a lot of us just think about, okay, what do our kids like to eat? What do our families like to eat? What are we gonna cook for this month or what's affordable, what's on sale. We don't really think about what our body actually needs, and we don't think about the fact that our body could need something different each week.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yeah, and it's kind of intuitive once you get the hang of it. Um, let's say you eat, I don't know, chicken every week, right? Some weeks it might taste really good, maybe in a salad. But if you have that same salad the following week, it may not taste good because your body wants something warm. Right? So it's just varying the foods. Um, there's certain weeks where you need more fiber and more magnesium. Um, there's certain weeks where you need more B vitamins, which are commonly found in things like bread and pasta, which is one of the cravings that we get, right? Carbohydrate cravings. Um, so even your cravings can tell you different things about what your body may need.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Now, with that, um, should you listen to your cravings?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Yes. Um, so for example, if you're craving salty foods, you don't need salt. You your body might be low in magnesium, which is a different salt. Right? But your body doesn't know how to tell the difference, so it just craves salty foods. If you're craving fatty foods, it's not because your body wants that fat. Your body wants the healthy omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in things like avocados and nuts and olive oil. So the first step is to recognize the cravings, and then the second step would be to learn which foods can actually um help you to eliminate those cravings and be good for your body, like it's providing the nutrients that your body's asking for.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Wow. Yeah, okay, and thank you. This is great. And then what uh actually causes PMS symptoms?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

So again, it your hormones fluctuate every week. They go from you know very low to very high and then low again. And the different symptoms, so cramping is um caused by what we call inflammation, right? In the medical world. So that's um just a lot of receptors in the body that are just going into the pelvis and they're causing the muscles to contract when they shouldn't be contracting. And that's what a cramp is. If you're bloated, you might be having gut issues or issues with your um, there's good bacteria in the gut called microbiome. So if your microbiome is not healthy, you would feel bloating or constipated or diarrhea. Um, even with heavy bleeding. So a normal cycle, you should only have heavy bleeding for about two, two and a half days. And if it's bleeding more than that, your estrogen and progesterone levels might be off. So eating lots of fruits and vegetables to help metabolize that estrogen, right? Um, exercising properly, all of these things can play a role into the different symptoms that we feel every month.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Wow, that's really good to know because I used to, um, my cycle would be heavy the entire seven days. And I didn't think that that was not normal. Now my cycle is heavy, like two, two and a half days, and then it's tinkers off. And I thought, oh my gosh, what's going on? But I guess I'm doing okay. You're doing something right, yeah. Good to know. And what are some signs that we can look out for when our body is like feeling out of balance or out of whack? I know cravings is one and stress and the agitation, but what are some other signs that we can um so you would be waking up tired?

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Right? You might have migraine headaches. Um, we talked about the stomach issues, we talked about the heavy bleeding, you might have blood clots. Um you wouldn't feel alive. Like I I used to say when I wasn't feeling good, and now that I am, like I used to feel like a zombie. Like you're just kind of going through the motions every day. You're, you know, you're taking the kids to school and then you're taking them to whatever after-school activities, and you're making dinner and you're folding laundry and you're doing all these things, but you're not really enjoying life. You're not, you know, you maybe you feel like you lost a part of yourself. A lot of women say, a lot of moms especially say that they lost like a piece of their identity that they don't know who they are anymore. Um, and so these are all signs that something is off, and you don't have to change everything at once. I'll just tell you, you can start with like one thing and change it for a couple of months once you get used to it. Once it's in your routine, then you pick the next thing and you change it. And little by little, you will start to see your symptoms go away. You'll start to see that you're waking up refreshed in the morning, you'll start to see that you feel happier. Um, you know, you're not yelling at your kids or your husband or whatever. You'll start to notice changes as you make changes in, you know, your body over several months.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

So, how can moms start to learn what their body needs during these different phases of their cycle?

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yep. So the very first step is to learn how to track your cycle. Um, so you can use if you're still using a paper calendar, you could do that. But there's so many different apps that are available, uh, like period trackers. Um, so the first thing you want to do is just start tracking is it coming once a month? How many days am I bleeding? What symptoms do I have? You don't even have to change anything. You just need to become aware of it. And you'll start seeing patterns. So a normal cycle should be about a month. So 28 to 32 days long. If it's going longer than that, or if it you're bleeding much sooner than that, something might be off. Track your symptoms. You know, are you having a lot of PMS symptoms the week before your bleed? What is happening during your bleed? And as you start seeing the patterns, then you can pick like one thing. If migraines are the thing that's bothering you the most, you can start to, you know, work on okay, is it lack of sleep that's causing the migraine? Is it that I'm dehydrated and I'm not drinking enough water? Am I not exercising? So my body feels irritated, right? Like it's the first step is just to become aware. And then you can read books, you can learn about all this stuff, or you know, there's plenty of coaches like me available that if you don't want to think about it, you just tell me where you are in your cycle, and I'll give you the things that you need to do for that week. Right. So there you can either learn about it on your own, you can work with a coach. Um, but the first step is really to become aware of your cycle and your symptoms.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Well, I've I'm ashamed to admit because my school did it, my that I teach at, they did a presentation on how bad AI is, but I did use Chat GPT prior to the previous presentation to track my cycle.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

And it told me about the luteral, the follicle, and so there's follicular, luteral, follicular phase, ovulation, luteal phase, and menstruation. Those are the four phases that your body goes through each week each month.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Amazing. Okay, so that's what you were talking about of knowing the four phases.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Yep. So the first thing is just to become aware of your cycle, right? How often am I bleeding and what symptoms I'm feeling? You can write them down, you can keep like a journal. And then you can start to work on like one thing at a time to change things and get rid of those symptoms.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Right. That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yeah, I don't know if you use like Pinterest or even if you do a Google search, I guess. But if you type in cycle syncing and you look up images, you will find like charts of like certain foods you're supposed to eat in each week, or certain exercises you're supposed to do in each week. I mean, there's so many different things out there that are like pictured and charted. And so you could just start with one of those and and start reading those and trying to figure out a couple things. Um, or you can there's lots of books out there too on menstrual health and how to heal your symptoms.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Yeah, that's so great. And do you have any tools that you uh use or that you have online that we can link in the bio?

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Sure. I have a free guide. Um, it's called Live a Life Without PMS, and it just gives you a brief introduction of both our 24-hour clock, which is our circadian rhythm, right? Which is how the body tells the difference between night and day, and our monthly cycle. Um, and my guide will go through both of those. It'll give you a quick introduction on what it is, and it'll give you some quick tips that you can start using um right away. That's it. I have a link. I can send you the link, and then umce you get there, you'll just get the guide in your email.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Amazing. Yes, please send us the link, and we are also going to link it in our show notes. This is so important and it's so spot on of what women need. And I'm so glad that you are voicing it and letting us know that there is a life without BMS. That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah, like I want you to be calm when your kids are running to you when you're trying to record a podcast, right? Like, I don't want you stressing out and yelling at them or little things like this, which is I used to do it. I I used to yell at my kids for if their movie volume was too loud or you know, they didn't unpack their lunchbox, whatever. But yes, I think once you once you feel better, you behave better towards others.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

I think that's very true. I will say something. I I mute them when they come in because they keep giving it out. Um, okay. Um, we're gonna switch gears a little bit and talk about yourself if that's okay. Sure. You've faced so many real challenges as a mom, including infertility, cancer, and monthly PMS symptoms, as we talked about. What was the season of life like for you emotionally and physically?

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Um it was challenging for sure. So I went through a lot of infertility treatments just to even have my kids. Um, and then I had three within four years, so they were very close in age. Um, so I was a stay-at-home mom, and though, you know, there were some struggles there too. Um, again, I wasn't taking care of myself at this time, so I was always exhausted. I was, you know, just waking up tired, going to bed tired, you know, in kind of like a brain fog all day. Um when I had my second cancer, I also had three little kids at home, but I was uh fortunate that I had a lot of family supports to uh take care of the kids and cook, and um, you know, that way I could heal. And if you follow along with like the mythical creatures and you know of the phoenix, um, at some point between all my treatments and my doctor's visits and everything, I started telling my husband, you know, I feel like a phoenix. And every time I go into the hospital, I'm gonna consider that like my burning day, and then I'm gonna come out of it stronger and better than I was. So I've kind of taken that on as like a life mantra.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

I love that. That is so awesome. You are so strong.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

And the hands-yeah, I had to learn how to be strong. I was not, you know, this way, but my life situations kind of push me in that direction.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Yeah. And what helped you start healing and feeling better, or just helped you start to learn to be strong?

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Um, I think I've always been very resilient uh and uh goal-oriented. So if I if I put a goal in front of me, I'm going to do everything I can to achieve that goal. And my initial goal after I had the cancers and this and that was just to make my my body healthy. Um, and I did that. And once I did that and I felt so much better, I knew I had to teach this to other women. Um, and I couldn't do it as a PA. It's very hard in a 15 minute appointment slot. I'm sure you know when you go to your doctor, um, there's a lot of things that need to be done. And I couldn't teach the women, you know, how they Could be better too. Um, so I left clinical practice and I became a coach. And now I spend an hour a week with my uh ladies, and we go through, I teach them, I help them through all their struggles and um just watch them grow and get better too.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Well, you're really great at um interviews because you answered my next question, which is how has the experience shaped the work that you do today? Yep, that is exactly how. Yeah. Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Happy mom makes happy kids. That's my ultimate goal. If the kids can be happy, you know, the world is a better place.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

That part. So, more advice for moms. What would you say to a mom who feels exhausted or in pain every day, who might be going through their own struggles, and they think that it's normal to feel the way that they feel?

SPEAKER_01 24:42

First of all, it's not normal. Um, and you have to become aware of that. Uh, because we've been trained to believe that it is normal. You know, your monthly PMS is normal, your exhaustion is normal, your stress is normal. It's not. Um, and there are things that you can start doing to help yourself. And I know you're busy, I know you have little kids and this and that, and you're running around to activities, but you can start with like five to 10 minutes a day. You can do some stress reduction techniques, you can start a mini workout, you can, you know, make a grocery list full of healthy foods. There are things that you could do that don't take a lot of time. And even now, like I don't exercise more than 30 minutes. My workouts are 15 to 30 minutes. I'm eating healthy most days. I still eat, you know, when we go out to a party or dinner or whatever, I'm eating the unhealthy foods too, but it's a balance, right? So you're eating more healthy foods, less of the desserts and treats, but you're not eliminating them completely. You can work on there are so many ways to relieve stress that only take five minutes, right? You could do some deep breathing exercises, you could journal or color or dance or go for a walk, go out in nature, whatever it is. Um you have to start prioritizing yourself and just taking even a few minutes at a time. If it's five minutes, you know, take that five minutes, set the timer, sit in silence, do something for you. And as you start doing that and you start getting your energy back, you start feeling better, you'll want to do more of it.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

Yes, that is so great. Could you pick one thing, one small step that someone could take this week to feel better?

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Yeah. So um, I know we're all busy, like I said, um, but if you can find five minutes in the day, whether it's before the kids wake up in the morning, whether it's when they're at preschool or school, or after they go to bed at night, five minutes, set a timer, right? Just sit and you can sit in silence. You can practice some deep breathing exercises. There's a whole lot of different ways to do deep breathing. Like you count to four when you inhale and then you hold it, and then you count to four when you exhale. There's other, there's lots of different versions on YouTube that you could do. Um, you could sit and journal and just write down the troubling thoughts that are in your mind. You can color if that's something you like. You can listen to your favorite music, you can dance, you can read. Um, I like doing jigsaw puzzles, so you can sit with a puzzle. It's really anything that makes you happy. So use those five minutes to do something that makes you happy. It will help calm you down, it will lower your stress. Um, and then as you get used to that five minutes, because even five minutes will seem like a challenge when you first get started. So set the timer. As you start getting used to that five minutes, then you can increase the time to seven minutes or 10 minutes or whatever you have. Um, and you will start to find more time because it makes you feel better.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

That's so good. Set a timer, five minutes. We can do anything for five minutes. Yes, that's so good. And um that like pretty much answers a lot of my questions. You're so great. There's so many gems that you have dropped of just great knowledge and tools that we could use.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Yes, and that's my goal is to help you learn something new that you can start doing today.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Yeah. Because my last two questions are what do you hope every woman woman would understand about her body? But I feel like it's what you're you're saying is that you don't have to live a life with PMS.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yeah, listen to your body. We we have been trained to ignore it, but you have to really listen to it, and then it really becomes intuitive. Like your body will tell you what it needs.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Yeah. And then my last one was how did how does taking care of your body change the way you show up as a mom? But I've heard you say that it helps you be more patient.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

And you're kids are just more present. You're um, like I said, I'm not yelling at my kids as often. Um if they're telling me a story, I'm actually listening and paying attention, I'm not like spacing out and you know, thinking about something else. Um it's just more fun this way.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Yeah. Well, we always close with a question. Is the last closing question? Is if there's anything that you want to leave moms with to carry them through the week or life, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 29:40

We're all human and we make mistakes. So if your day didn't go as planned, um, to start again tomorrow. It's a brand new day. And you know, if you didn't eat healthy, if you didn't exercise, or if you whatever it was, it's not a life sentence. You just start fresh tomorrow morning.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Wow, that is such good advice. That is so beautiful. Start fresh tomorrow. I love that. Thank you so much for being here and sharing your knowledge and your story with us, and to every mom listening. Thank you so much for having me. I love um teaching others. Was that not a great episode? I feel like that was such a life-changing game changer episode for so many of us. Amy, thank you so much for being here and sharing your knowledge and your story with us today. And to every mom listening, your body isn't working against you. It is speaking to you. So listen up. And learning to listen may be one of the most powerful forms of self care that there is. This is the Mommy Pod, and I'll see you next time. Thanks for listening.