Get Serious About Your Healing: Faith, Divorce & Rebuilding with Hetti-Marie Jacobs

In this powerful episode of The Mommy Pod, Hetti-Marie “HM” Jacobs shares her journey from public housing in Toronto to becoming an Elementary Vice Principal, author, and speaker — all while navigating divorce, betrayal, and rebuilding as a single mother.

We talk about:
• Surviving infidelity and emotional abuse
• Rebuilding financially and spiritually
• Coparenting and online dating
• Financing your dreams as a mom
• Healing without rushing the process

This episode is for every mother who is rebuilding and wondering if she can rise again.

I have facebook and I have 3 instagram handles: @hm_jacobs @hettimariesings @caffeinecravinjesusprayinmom

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FLTRVRYB

Step into a world of magic, colors, and wonder with The Royal Adventures of Princess Liliana: The Rainbow Castle — the first enchanting book in a brand-new toddler series made for curious little minds and big imaginations!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FQ86RF9S

Living with ADHD: Getting Clean and Organized is not another rigid “how-to” guide that demands perfection—it’s a compassionate roadmap designed for real people with real ADHD challenges.  Living with ADHD will help you take back control—one small step at a time.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Later became the first education to earn a graduate degree and a master in educational leadership. While navigating divorce for real and rebuilding as a single mother of three, a blended family of five, he became a vice principal within six years of returning to education. She is also the author of East Period and other principles to pull you through.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Hey, thank you so much for having me. This is just uh a blessing. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Yes, can you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself? Uh maybe start with uh Toronto, like us back to Toronto and um yeah, what was growing up like for you?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

You know what? Yes, I am from Toronto originally, born and raised. I I love I love this country of Canada, and uh I am so grateful that I was born here. My parents came from Antigua and Ghana to Toronto and had me here. And uh after their divorce, I was mainly raised by my my mother. She was the um the main custodian of me and my brother. And uh we grew up, my brother, my dad was in town and we did see him on a regular basis, but we grew up uh basically in poverty, we're low-income home. Um, and what we didn't have in finances, we had in love and faith. So for that I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah. Um what did growing up in public housing teach you?

SPEAKER_00 3:01

You know what? It taught me a bunch of things. Uh it taught me that it really doesn't matter where you start, it matters where you finish.

unknown 3:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Evening up that way when we didn't have a lot of resources, you have to be creative. Like I remember the times where my brother and I were like, okay, we don't have any pizza, but we got bread, ketchup, and uh craft singles slice. So let's just make something work. And we things out. There were times we didn't have uh a lot of money for clothes, so we would swing over to the goodwill uh or the you know, and see, oh, well, there's some clothes that are left outside overnight or what have you. We would go through some bags. We made things work, and my mother was I I joke and say that she was able to stretch a dollar like Elasticirl from The Incredibles. Like she just knew what to take care of her family, and for that I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

It sounds like your mother was very, very strong. And so, how did your mother's strength shape you?

SPEAKER_00 4:04

I think looking back, and my mother passed away in 2020 during during COVID, which was really, really a sad time because you know, for so many reasons, um, during you know, the global pandemic. Um, but when she she was the kind of woman who personified resilience and courage and determination um and a strong faith in God. And it was watching her life and how she was able to handle challenging situations, whether it be economically or dealing with racism or um or what have you, really modeled for me uh what it means to be courageous. And I believe that there are gonna be another number of moms that are watching and or listening rather who will say, Wow, yeah, it does take courage to be a mom. It does take courage to to do all the things that we do.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Yeah, it takes a lot of courage. Um, as the daughter of immigrants from Antigua and Ghana, what cultural values still guide you today?

SPEAKER_00 5:07

It's interesting because you know, being um being a black mom, I mean, I think of just how my parents raised me and really we'd say old school now with okay, it's yes, sir, and yes, ma'am, it's respecting your elders. It is, you don't come come home and just walk to your room, you say good afternoon to everyone. Uh, there is that service and that sense of, okay, you're you're not just a freeloader here in this house. You help, you serve, you do chores. Um, and so there's a number of uh values that I outline in my book, one of which is being a being a person of your word and um remembering to be thankful, to say thank you whenever something is done for you. And people, there's so many people in our lives that have helped us along the way. Don't forget to say thanks and be appreciative of the people um that are helping and also to finance your dreams. My parents always put in me that desire to make sure that I believed in myself, that I knew that I can do it through with God's help and to move forward and to, you know, do whatever it takes to fulfill the dream that He God has placed in my life.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

I love that. That is so important. Fund your dreams, go for it. And when did you realize that education was one of your dreams and your path forward?

SPEAKER_00 6:27

But my my I remember my dad sitting me down and and saying on a regular basis, when I was a young kid, you're gonna go to university, you're gonna be successful, you're gonna be one of the first in the family to become a doctor. And to this day, I'm kind of thinking I might get my doctorate. So we'll see, we'll see. It's been spoken to me from such a young age that I was going to do this. And so when I look back to the to those conversations as a young child, it always connected to education. My mother was an educator, uh, my dad um was a very good communicator um in terms of his typing and writing style. And I just learned from them the importance of education. And so if it was, I mean, if I was asking for a toy, I might get a side-eye, but if I was asking for a book, it was like, what's the book? Let's go to the library right now to get it. There was very much a value for the education system and a value for teachers and leaders in education, which I believe was what fueled me to become an educator myself.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

That's very good. I need to start doing that with my kids. Like when they ask for a toy or something, no, we're gonna get a book or or suggest would you want to look at books instead? Yeah, that's really good. Um, what did earning your degree represent for you emotionally? Or your degrees with an ask.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

I mean, I'm trying to see how best to answer this because it was for me a fulfillment of a lifelong dream that wasn't just my dream, it was my family's dream, you know. But with parents that came to this country and to make a better life for themselves and for their family and for their children, it was so meaningful. Um, I knew that that by pursuing education in the way that I was going after it for not just a job, but for a career, that that would be my ticket out of poverty and lack because I would be able to now have a a career that provides uh the finances that I could um use to take care of support my family.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Right. Becoming the first in your family to earn a graduate degree. What's that moment mean for you?

SPEAKER_00 8:45

You know, I was um I look back to when I first applied to get my master's degree, and I had a conversation with my husband, and we both were like, well, he was more like, okay, on a financial tip, this is a lot of money, and what what do we need this for? That type of thing. And he he he likes to make sure that we're making good financial decisions. So I gotta give him credit for that. But I always knew that God had said to me, like, you're gonna do your master's, you gotta do your master's. And I was like, okay, it has always been my philosophy that if God orders the pizza, he pays for it. So I just stepped out in faith and got accepted. And I was like, okay, now we gotta figure out how we're gonna pay for this. And um, and uh along the short of it is I found out that there was a scholarship that I could apply for. And so I took the, I think it was about a month and a half or so to write this essay for this scholarship that I knew would pay for the entire masters, give me a full ride. And um, I applied for it, and I heard about three months later that hey, if you didn't, if if if you didn't hear a call back yet, then you probably didn't get it. So I just you know it was like, okay, God, you're gonna help us through and take care of our needs. And that was March. By August of that same year, I got an email asking if I was gonna receive this, if I if I was planning on accepting the scholarship. And I was like, excuse me. And I went down the email thread, scrolled down, and I saw that June of that year they had sent notice to tell me that I won the scholarship, but they misspelled my name. And so the email didn't come to me until August. Oh my gosh, look at God. When you talk about a moment, you realize, wow, God was there all along. He took care of our needs. Um, I also was asked to be the student convocation speaker on behalf of the graduating classes. And that moment of just receiving my degree and also standing and sharing, speaking to the uh very intelligent minds in the room to share my story and what uh has keeped has kept me driven all these years, um, one of which is the center of my life, which is my faith in God, is was such a moment. I I look back at that into this day when I look at my degree and the little award that's uh on my on my bookshelf, I go, yeah, God, God answers prayers and God knows exactly what he's doing. I just need to trust him.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Exactly. I've been trying to do that, like just trusting in God and not worrying because I love to worry. I have a good worry, but there's no point in that. Just what's meant to be will be. And I really like what you said about if God orders a pizza, he pays for it. So that is very, very good. That is very good. I'm definitely gonna keep that in the back of my mind to always remember. Love that. And how do you balance uh leadership in your school and with leadership at home with your family?

SPEAKER_00 11:45

You know what? I wish I could say that I'm doing it well. Uh I fall and I mess up sometimes, and um, you know, I'm I'm so driven at everything that I do uh that uh I'm beginning to realize that I cannot give a hundred percent to every single thing sometimes. Sometimes it's like, okay, that's getting 50 and that's getting 10, that's getting 20% right now, and that's gonna get five because I can't put any more energy in that. And so I'm realizing that with the time and the capacity that I have right now, that I need to be very choosy about where I'm putting my energy and my time. Um, and uh, and then when I make mistakes, I just have to learn from them, you know, and and just and when I I heard it said the other day, um, and it was a message for leaders, and it said, um, when you can't lead by example, lead by repentance. Basically saying that, you know, you're gonna mess up sometimes. Um, and if you're not, you know, if you mess up, lead by saying, Hey, I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have done that, and uh, you know, forgive me, and really showing that sometimes leadership isn't just hey, I'm I'm perfect at this. In fact, it's not, it's hey, I messed up and I want to hopefully demonstrate what it means to make sure that uh we're in a good place.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

That's good. That's really good because it can be really hard to especially as a leader to say I'm I messed up.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Well, we're fine, you know, it's really is one of those it's a pride thing sometimes as parents, you know, to um I I don't I don't remember growing up with parents that apologize much. They were like, do what you're told. I'm putting a food food food in your mouth and a roof over your head, do what you're told, um, or else. So it really has been uh a learning for me, especially with this new generation of kids, of really trying to ensure that I am taking the right steps of trying to find balance in my life between work and home and and when I mess up to really just uh try to make it right.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

Yeah. That's really great. Yeah, it's hard to it's hard, but I think it is important, especially for our children, to know and to hear us say, sorry if we do mess up and and they realize that. Yeah. So let's talk about surviving divorce and betrayal. Move into that area you opened up and shared about navigating divorce involving infidelity and alcoholism and emotional abuse. What was the lowest point for you during that season?

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Um I would say the lowest point was negotiating shared custody. Uh, no parent imagines that they will have to decide whether they see their kids at Christmas or New Year's or things. Um it was a very devastating time in my life and my faith. And so I would say that was probably one of the lowest. I remember sitting in the, you know, the office of the lawyers and the the lawyer lawyers going back and forth between the different rooms where my ex was, and I was in another room, and just negotiating between different things and and just crying for like six hours straight, um, realizing the the dissolve or the the end of this relationship that I thought would be forever. And and turning to God, going, okay, God, I I I thought you would perform a miracle. I thought you would save this, I thought you would stop this from happening, and surrendering to the um surrendering to his will, surrendering to the outcome. And I I look back at that as being one of the lowest points in my faith, the hardest, most difficult times, but also the a turning point for the redemptive story that I now have.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Yeah, that is hard. I I was just thinking about how I missed my children at the moment because they are with their their dad. Um, it's actually my day, but I have to work late for the next two days. So um I asked their grandma to I asked for him to ask their his mom to come to town. So she is with the kids and they love being with grandma for longer. So I know that they're happy and doing well, but I miss them so much. It's hard. It is you never imagine having I say I didn't have these children to have half of the time, to have them half the time. Um that was not never my goal or never what I envisioned. Right. So it's really hard when you do have to make that happen. And you spoke a little bit about how it challenged your faith.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Um yeah, it did. It it it challenged my faith in the sense that you you uh I mean you read stories in the Bible like Job, who lost everything, and then you know, God, you know, restored things back to him. But in that moment, I don't think he knew what what was up. He was probably very clueless as I was at that time. Um, sorry about that. That's my my my dog is making noise in the background. But um, yeah, I I I I found for me that at that point of my life, there really was, I was so low, there was really was only one way, and that was up. There, there really was only one answer. That was God show up. Otherwise, there's really nothing left to to me or to this story. And when we have those moments in our faith, uh we should we need to pay attention to them because they are out of the ordinary and they're and and and sometimes impossible, but we have a God that prof that it specializes in impossibilities.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Yes, so true. I very much believe that. And did you question when you were going through those hard times? And then even after you came out of it and you were able to look at that breakup in your rearview mirror, did you question if you would ever find love again?

SPEAKER_00 18:08

You know, at the at that at the moment, at the time, really close to when I finally signed the papers and what have you, I was like, okay, God, I'm I guess I'm gonna be a nun, because I don't think I'll ever want to go through this ever again. I my level of trust for you know having given my entire life and resources and everything that I could. I mean, there was no, I didn't even think I even had boundaries. I just thought, okay, we're one flesh. I just took whatever the scripture was and just kind of thought that this is what it meant to be married was you just you're you're one. You you're you know, there is no division between the two of you or things that you're keeping from the other. You truly are one. And to experience what I experienced was so heartbreaking and and life-shattering, I was like, okay, I think I'm gonna be a nun. So for the for for the year after my divorce, I swore to myself, okay, one, I'm not gonna date. I have to rebuild my life. So for one full year, it turned out to be more like a year and a half, but I was like, there is no way I'm going to just jump into relationship at this point. Um, and then it was as things progressed over the course of that year to a year and a half, and so I was like, you know what? I still believe in love. I still believe that love exists and that true love never fails. It doesn't go away. It always stays if it is real and because God is love. So I eventually came to the point where I allowed what I knew what was within me to now go from inside to my brain again to say, hey, do you want to give this another try? And I'm glad I did.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

That's good. So you didn't just survive, you rebuilt. So let's talk about that process because now you're glad that you did let yourself uh fall in love and and have that. But can we talk about the before? So that rebuilding, that blueprint, that rebuilding blueprint.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yes, the healing process. Yes, let's talk about it. Um, well, when you experience something like this that you really have never experienced before, where you were the the the lender, not the borrow your borrower. You were the one that was up high and now you're down low. It is an adjustment on many levels because you are now you almost like are in like a fish out of water. Like, what do I do? I I need to feed my kids, I need to make sure that they have what they need, but I also need to be in a healthy place. And uh I went, I discovered from some friends that I have that I might possibly need to consider a recovery program for codependency, which is something I did not know about in the past. I I didn't even know what the word meant. I had to go do some research about that. And I um went to the library and talked with people and found out that there was a celebrate recovery program wherein I could go. And also it's the same type of program that other like addicts and people who are dealing with you know drug addictions and alcoholism, et cetera, also attend. And it is a way to work through some steps that would help towards recovery. And uh I I fought that tooth and nail, to be honest. I was like, nope, it's not me that was the problem, it was the other person until I finally um came to the understanding that um a lot of the things that I had allowed was because I didn't have the boundaries, the healthy boundaries in my life that would have uh helped me to not feel so devastated. And so I did a celebrate recovery program with a sponsor. Um my church was so fantastic. They helped to um pay for some therapy sessions with a with a Christian counselor, which was absolutely amazing. Um I I had tried to get my ex to join join that the therapy times for some marriage therapy and counseling, but eventually he did not want to do it and he had his reasons that I found out later that there was somebody else in the picture. And then I also surrounded myself with a supportive group of women from the church that were part of a mom group that I would attend on Mondays with, you know, a whole bunch of moms and a mentor mom, and they would, you know, just circle around all the women and just help and encourage them and uplift them during these mom community times every Mondays. Um and they were so supportive with sometimes they would say, Hey, I'll watch your kids while you go to therapy, or hey, let's get let's get together for a play date. Let's um, hey, I have some extra food or a meal, would you like? And Those are the type of things that came right at the right time for me in my faith and my struggle that showed me, hey, Hetty, I'm gonna take care of you. I felt like God was saying, here's some things that I'm bringing your way to make sure that you come through this successfully. Um other things was uh I had to find a home church. So I came back from my kids were born in Tennessee, so I was in Tennessee and I came back to Toronto. So I went back to my home church there, which was for me like a soft place to land because there was church moms that saw me growing up that were still there, that were able to love all my children and just really be encouraging to me as I was going through this. Um, I did some other fun, some fun things like I went on solo trips to like Niagara on the lake or Kingston. I'd rented Airbnb when the girls, when my kids were with their dad. I was like, okay, what can I do this weekend or this week when they're away with their dad? And uh I even went to Europe and did backpacking across Europe, which was so fun when my my mom actually watched the kids, so I can do that. And I just pushed myself towards doing things to um uh ignite the joy back into my life. So hobbies, I started running, I signed up for races and I did a marathon, I improved my credentials with work, so I started taking courses towards becoming an administrator, and I took the time to heal.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

I love that, and then you fell in the love of your life.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

I sure did.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

This is amazing because I have gone through the breakup, the brokenness, and I did not do hardly any of the steps that you have said. I did therapy, I went to church that I would never have thought to do like celebrate recovery or the codependency. I didn't know that was an option. I I did not know that was a thing. And then I find myself working and going home. But there's so much more to life. So yeah, do new hobbies, go on trips. That's so amazing. Back trip, backpack Europe. I talk myself out of getting Airbnbs because I'm like, maybe I could go like here for a little bit, and I'm like, nah, I'll just wait till when I have the kids and then the kids can go and experience it with me.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

But no, I should go on my own. And I would go on dates. I'll be like, okay, I'm gonna I wouldn't necessarily dress up to the nines here, but I would be like, okay, tonight is gonna be sushi and candy and food, and the kids are with their dad, and I'm gonna pull up some Netflix and I'm gonna watch and fall asleep on the sofa. Like, I I was purposefully about I am going to reclaim the joy in my life.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Yes, find the joy. That is one of my mottos that I like to say in life, find the joy. And it is very hard to do sometimes, but it is very important. Wow, that is so that's so good. So, out of all of those, what was the hardest to separate?

SPEAKER_00 27:32

You know what? I think when I look back at all of those pieces, um I think I would say sometimes receiving from people that wanted to give or bless my bless me and my family. I I got over pretty quick because times were tough. But it's just the old whole idea that I've always had in my heart where I want to be the one that gives. I want to be the giver. And it was a complete shift when it was like I didn't have a lot and and I was just you know selling things to take care of to get diapers and to get things, and I was I was doing all the things and I felt like God was saying to me, can you just receive the can you receive the way that you would want somebody somebody to receive a gift from you? And that was a game changer because it was like I am enabling other people to be used by God where where they're gonna get blessed because they have chosen to obey him and say, Hey, Hetty, we want to take care of this for you. Or someone said to me, Hey, you're I heard about your car. Let me I'll take care of the expenses for your car. Like I can tell you miracle upon miracle upon miracle during that season where I was just like, This is insane. God, you are you haven't missed a beat. You're making sure that we're taken care of, especially because of the faithfulness, the faithfulness that I was frustrating in that marriage, despite all that I had to go through.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Yeah. Um and how did uh rebuilding financially and emotionally at the time stretch you?

SPEAKER_00 29:02

Um let me think on that. Um I I had given up a lot, um, but I realized that um I can make it through anything as long as God's with me. Um that's that was really a um stretching of my faith. It was really, it was realizing like, okay, um, this is not the ideal, this is not what I thought. Um, and really trying to stay positive and not allow my words to um um to disqualify me for the blessing that God may be trying to get to me through this situation, if that makes sense. So um, yeah, and then waiting for what God has from, because I do not believe that God will remove something from our lives. And now we're I'm gonna use the word, you know, uh disabled or unable now to fulfill his plan. Why would he do that? He wouldn't shoot himself in the foot. Okay. I believe that whatever he's removing from our lives, there is a reason because he has either something better for us or that was not a part of his ultimate plan for our lives. And when I came to that understanding of, okay, well, then I'm just gonna trust that God has something better for someone better for me, someone who gets it, someone who understands what it means to truly make a commitment in marriage and to not, you know, uh not break that. Like I believe that there's someone out there. And let me tell you, and I've said this before, even to my husband, I said, you know what? If I would go through everything I went through all over again, the violence, domestic violence, the betrayal, the financial, all of it, I will go through it all over again, knowing that my husband Kevin was on the other end of it. Because I I I've been so blessed with this amazing man in my life today that I now can see that God truly is faithful to his word.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Well, you're giving us so much hope right now. The story is so inspiring. Okay, so we're gonna move to online dating and authenticity. So, what was it like stepping into online dating after being betrayed? And I hate that you had to go through everything that you had to go through and the abuse. No woman or anybody should have to go through that. And so I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm happy though that you did come out on the other side and that you found the love of your life. So, what was it like stepping into that and um being open and vulnerable to dating again?

SPEAKER_00 31:41

You know what? I uh when I put myself in in like go back in time, I put myself in that context, um, it was not easy. Some of the reason why is because some of the reason is because dating these days is not like it used to be. You used to be able to walk down the street or go to the grocery store or library or what have you, church, what have you, and find someone that's eligible and make a connection and it just be organic in just a regular way. The way times have changed now, it has lent itself to the fact that everybody is connected and online. And that has definitely pushed us in the direction of using technology to find love. And there is always the question of authenticity. Are they who they say they are? Are they, am I gonna be catfished or ghosted, or you know, um, is this real? What they're saying to me, name it. There's and there's so many stories too about, you know, situations that just turned out horribly. So the idea of safety and making sure that I'm going about things in a way that made me feel comfortable and knowing that I didn't have to rush, I've always had this expression that you don't have to rush forever. So any person who says that you're my lifelong person is like, well, then we don't have to rush to have sex before marriage because if I'm your lifelong person, we'll get married and we'll have a lot of sex. So it's just hi. Like there is always these, um, you know, I feel like the enemy's always trying to like um uh find shortcuts of the great and grand plan that God has for us. So I had to just um remind myself as I was tiptoeing into these dating streets again that um uh it would be probably important for me to try apps that had that were Christian apps that had the core values that I represent first. So kind of like a a container, I put in the big rocks first, and then all the little things can kind of fall fall into place. Um, and so I left all the other ones and I I tried them. I was like, oh, let me just see what what this is about. And my goodness, uh I mean, there was uh what there was a plant one of them was what is it, what was it called? Plenty of fish. I was like, I gotta throw this these fish back. I gotta throw them back because I'm not dealing with it. There were so many of these apps that I was like, no, like they are looking for they're not looking for what I'm looking for. And you find out very soon after a few, even two or three lines of intro whether this person is looking for something more or a friend or hookup or what have you. So um I was cautious about uh entering into the the dating online dating scene um and decided that I would go the route of Christian Mingle. And I have a really, really funny, cute, interesting ooh, story that I share on my podcast, which is Caffeine Craven, Jesus Praying Mom. So I will send folks after this, they can send them over to check out my podcast and to hear a little bit more about uh the whole online dating scene for me. I go a little more in depth.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

Amazing. So yes, everybody has to check out that podcast, um, especially to hear about this online dating. I know I'm gonna go back on and listen so I can get some tips. And um, so what about boundaries? Did you learn? What boundaries did you learn to establish early?

SPEAKER_00 35:18

I and this was a lot through the recovery program I took, is just really knowing when I'm okay with something, when I'm not, and to speak up. And I think it's very easy for people who uh have dealt with codependency that you, you know, your boundaries sometimes can be a little bit shaky. Uh you know, you try to, you know, try to please people and trying, you know, thinking that everybody has your best interest in mind, but everybody has their own interest in mind. And so I had to make sure I established some boundaries like, okay, if something's not okay, I'm gonna say it. Um, that I can only control myself and what I can, you know, and if, you know, um, if you know, I'm not gonna be someone's punching bag for their, you know, anger or um, you know, if they're upset or they, you know, don't think if I'm not agreeing with them that now suddenly I'm the bad guy. I just really made sure that some of the toxic behaviors that I was seeing in my former marriage that I allowed uh to the point of my own you know detriment, I was going to ensure this time that I was not gonna let that happen again. So for me, like there's certain certain things that are non-negotiable. Uh infidelity, no. If you're if if that happens, but buy. If there was even an emotional tie with somebody else as a stepping stone towards what could have been a even that is a non-negotial for me. That I I am I am all the woman you need. And so having those conversations early with my current husband, um, the love of my life, Kevin, was like right at the very get-go, was like, are we on the same page? Because I don't want to waste time. So it was almost felt like a uh interrogation. He would even tell you, it's like, yeah, that I remember one time we had like a three-hour conversation where you asked me every possible question that exists. And I was like, Yeah, because I want to know if we are compatible. I mean, Christian Mingle can say that we're 99% compatible, but let's talk about that 1% because that could be the very thing that you know takes us out too.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Um, what would you say to any parents who are building, rebuilding financially and emotionally, and they feel broken?

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Um, I would say pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. Um, you know, the the Bible shares how Jesus told us how to pray about, you know, give us this day our daily bread. Um, and it also includes scriptures about forgiveness and asking that his will be done and his kingdom come. You know, I would say that's the prayer that I would be reciting on a regular basis for the sake of just knowing that um we have to take things day by day and ask God for his help every single day. And sometimes it's every moment of every day when things creep back up and we start to have those feelings again or memories come back to us and and we feel the pain of those memories. We really do need to pray and give it give it to God every single time, hand it right back to him, because uh what he is trying to do is to help us rebuild, but we can't do that without him.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

What does hope look like for you today, anyway?

SPEAKER_00 38:32

It is an assurance that everything is going to be not just okay, but it's gonna be great because the Bible says, Jeremiah 29, 11, I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope in a future. And so I feel like there's a greater assurance now, having seen that God has been able to part the Red Sea in my life, having seen that he's able to bring, you know, manna and quail, having seen him, you know, feed the multitude in my life, seeing him perform the miracles that he has has given me just a greater assurance and a strength, and a strength in my faith that uh it's gonna be okay. And I just need to continue to trust him. And every time something happens, it is stretching me, and my level of faith is going up and my level of trust is going up. Um, but uh God is true to his word. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

That was so good. And then if you could leave parents with one closing sentence for this week to carry them through, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Already left us with a lot of great advice, but if you could leave us with one sentence, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 39:38

Okay, let me think on this. Give me a second, because I can be wordy. I would say, look up from the dirty dishes, the unfinished laundry, the sticky kitchen counters, and the sharpie covered walls, and know that the powerful creator of all things lives within you and is going to carry you through.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

That is really good. That is great. You have made me want to go to church today. I need to get back into somebody further. Thank you so much for what carries me through, and thank you for that reminder that God is what gets us through every day.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Every single time. This is just such a great time. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Of course, thank you. We're so grateful to have you on the Mommy Pod, and I hope that you come back and visit me.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Thank you so much. And you know what? It's great to know that there's another podcast out there that is encouraging mothers. As I mentioned, I have one as well called Caffeine Craven, Jesus is praying mom. And so thank you so much for for just partnering um together here in the in the vision to reach moms and to encourage them and to lift them up and uh point them towards Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Of course. And I know you mentioned your podcast, but can you mention it again and tell our listeners where they can find you?

SPEAKER_00 40:54

Yes. All right, they get if you if you search up Kathleen, Jesus Prayin Mom, they can uh viewers, audiences can find me on YouTube. I'm also on all uh podcast platforms. I also have music. I'm very very much a creative person and I'm a recording artist. And so they can find music also under Hetty Marie on Spotify, Apple Music, you name it. And then my book is available on Amazon, and it is called Get Serious and Other Principles to Pull You Through.