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Fearlessly Female Uncensored
A comedic podcast featuring two friends sharing unfiltered stories and hilarious takes on life as modern women.
Fearlessly Female Uncensored
Cali Gone East: Navigating New Lives in Alabama & Tennessee
Click Here to Chat with Us! We're all ears (& probably wine).
What happens when two California girls pack up their lives and head East for new adventures in the Southern states? Join us in this lively episode of Fearlessly Female as we recount our personal journeys from California's beaches to the heart of Alabama and Tennessee. Learn about our motivations for making such big moves—Megan's leap for love and a career change, and Brittany's pursuit of an exciting job opportunity. We share the cultural shocks we faced and the unique dynamics within our new communities, offering a candid look at how these transitions have reshaped our lives and deepened our friendship.
Ever wondered how to build a sense of community in a new place? Megan's no-drama drinking club, Années Folles, became a sanctuary for women seeking genuine connections without the typical book club facade. On the other hand, Brittany found her tribe among co-workers who juggle demanding corporate jobs and family responsibilities like pros. We also touch on the glaring absence of good ethnic food in the South, as well as some funny cultural quirks—like Megan's struggle with Alabama's traffic norms—that make life in the South uniquely entertaining.
From culinary delights to weather extremes, our stories capture the essence of Southern living versus our Californian roots. Experience the thrill of tornado season with our lighthearted Megan Emergency Guide System (MEGS) and hear our take on the vastly different pace of life in the South compared to California. We chat about everything from the scarcity of decent Mexican, Indian, and Asian cuisine to the Southern staples we've come to adore. Listen in for laughs, reflections, and a genuine glimpse into the wild, wonderful world of moving South.
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Welcome back to Fearlessly Female, where two blondes make a right. We are Brittany and Megan, the hosts of your podcast of Fearlessly Female. Our podcast is born out of ambition, drive and a lot of wine. We're two powerhouse comedic women having uncensored conversations about topics that affect women, and we're airing all the dirty laundry. So grab your favorite drink and give us a listen.
Meghan:Today's podcast is wish they all could be California girls until they didn't want to anymore. In this episode we handle Cali Gone East. Warning calm your tits. Offense will not be taken here. Grab your favorite drink, burn your bra and have a good time.
Brittany:It's a little background about us. Both of us were raised in California but in our 30s decided to head east. We took different routes of moving. Megan, maybe, took a more traditional route and Brittany took a non-traditional route. So, megan, you left first. What made you leave?
Meghan:Well, I was dating someone who lived in Alabama, rural Tide, and at the same time I got a promotion at work that pushed me up a tax bracket, so I actually made less with my raise and then my rent went up $300 a month. It was getting so hard to live so I decided to go for it.
Brittany:That sounds about California you know, get a great promotion and guess what? Your rent's going up and you're going to get taxed. More Food stamps, please, Sorry. So why did you decide to move to Alabama and not, you know somewhere else, like you know, North Dakota or New Mexico?
Meghan:Well, you know, I had never considered leaving California before. I had a company that I could retire from. All of my friends and family were there. But I fell in love and with it being so hard to live and not feeling like I was ever going to be a homeowner or make progress, I was pretty much done with Cali Brittany. You left a couple of years after me. Why did you decide to leave?
Brittany:Very similar reasons. I was in a very toxic job, a lot of broke culture, and, you know, after a couple of years it just kind of got exhausting and been wanting to leave for a while and so I was just applying out. I ended up landing an amazing job out in Tennessee and I was in a relationship. I honestly had no idea if my partner was going to move with me, but you know, I knew I wanted to leave. So I didn't let the relationship of dating someone be a defining point and taking that job opportunity Just to give a little more context about it.
Brittany:My person I'm with is Latin, and taking that job opportunity Just to give a little more context about it. My person I'm with is Latin and so typically in their culture the man runs the show. You know what he says goes he's the breadwinner, he's the provider. So that's kind of why I wasn't sure if he's going to come with me or if he's just going to say bye, have fun, I'm going to find someone else here. But I ended up kidnapping him in the middle of the night and throwing him in my trunk and we both just kind of really throw him in my trunk.
Meghan:He came willingly Mostly. It's still up in the air. We haven't decided yet. So I remember when you showed up at my house after you first move and you spent the 4th of July with me. It was so great to have you in the South and honestly I think you moving was really pivotal in our relationship. We really had a shared experience of you leaving and I think it made our bond so strong that now Brittany can't even shake me off.
Brittany:I agree that was definitely a fun time and definitely just a completely different experience of experiencing fourth of July outside of California, because they're like okay, fireworks, you know you're gonna burn someone's house down, and Alabama's like, yeah, shoot him off in the front yard, it's fine, you want him hand him out on the freeway, you know? One for you, one for you. I'm like it's like illegal. So much, though.
Meghan:Completely different culture about it.
Brittany:So I think you highlighted our experiences in the South were different and I think they're quite interesting. I feel that maybe we have a similar personality but different experiences, so maybe for our listeners can you explain what is a typical life like for a Southern woman in the area that you moved to.
Meghan:Oh man, I mean very interesting, very different from anything I had ever experienced before or was raised in. When I was in Alabama I had two wonderful stepchildren and one of their friends came over and in the conversation mentioned she wanted to be a lawyer or a hairdresser. There is nothing wrong with either of those paths, but it's just such a vastly different thought process to be either a lawyer or hairdresser. For me it really showed what the kids were exposed to, which was those two things.
Brittany:in that small town it was a very narrow viewpoint, um, in that culture yeah, hairdresser and lawyer, that is like two like I feel like opposite ends of the spectrum on like career paths, like just yeah I'm not sure if there's like any commonality in between those two at all yeah, I could definitely see how, see how that thought process comes about with just those two career paths. So you're an independent boss lady. You have to read it. How'd you get down with the culture out there then?
Meghan:Oh man, there's a lot for me to unpack here, but I think I was probably seen as too fancy, too intimidating, too over the top. Some of this could have been them. Some of it could have been the relationship I was in and what I was being told. There's a whole different podcast we'll talk about, but there are many times I really felt like I was the third wheel in my own home. Have you ever had those conversations that are like one-sided, where you ask all the questions, questions, and no one has any interest in you?
Brittany:That's so awkward. You're just sitting there like uh yeah.
Meghan:So it was pretty much like that for a good four out of the five years I was down there, and some of it was probably root causes. It was a really small town I lived in. There's generations that never leave, so they're they have their friend group, and some of it was probably root causes. It was a really small town I lived in. There's generations that never leave, so they have their friend group. They've been friends since they were kindergarten and they don't really have a need or room for new people. And then new people moving to the town I lived in was a complete rarity. I had met someone who had already lived there for seven years and they still hadn't had any friends or broke in to a network.
Brittany:Oh my gosh, that's crazy. Yeah, I I've had a similar situation, knowing friends that have grown up like you know, like that's so close and then just kind of being the awkward like person to come in.
Meghan:It's like, hey, I'm here and they're just like you can't sit with us exactly and you know, when you think about like we're women's, I'm in my 30s, like we're not in high school and we're still dealing with some of that, it's pretty. It's sad, in my opinion, and I know it doesn't happen just where I was at in that town. It happens all over the place, um, but it's just sad when that happens.
Brittany:I agree, I agree. So I'm like I'm down to be friends with everyone. You know, if you're cool, like, let's hang out. So what did you eventually do to like fit in? You know, what were some things that maybe worked, that didn't work.
Meghan:You know, one thing to know about me is, if you tell me no, that's the fastest way to get me to do something.
Brittany:Spark a fire.
Meghan:Yeah. So really I was kind of being pushed into a place where it was my fault and I was told like I couldn't create the friend group and so I decided to make sure I did it. I had to be really intentional about it. I started building Anna Esfalas, which is the drinking club that I run. Again, it's a drinking club. It is not a book club.
Meghan:It is not sugar coated, it is absolutely a drinking club and we just started. I just started handpicking women. I wanted no drama and I wanted women supporting women. I think sometimes we get tagged with this stereotype that women compete with each other, but this was really just women supporting women no drama, having fun and enjoying cocktails at the same time.
Brittany:Yeah, I mean, if you invite me to a drinking club, I'm there Book club, don't? No, don't call me Drinking club, absolutely.
Meghan:I have had so many conversations about this, where they're like but but is it a book club? And I'm like no, it's a drinking club. I don't. Well, yeah, I know, but like you pretend to read a book and then you drink, no, we are drinking. I'm very straightforward, straight up, we're having a drinking club so britney would not bring a book.
Meghan:Yeah, no books. I mean, I love reading, but that's kind of like a I do it on my own thing. I want to. I want to drink with my ladies. So, brittany, how about you? How is your experience different from mine?
Brittany:So I've moved to Tennessee, as I mentioned and I think just my experience is a little bit different was because the group that I was brought into, with my co-workers and everything they're very independent, dominant women, so they are the breadwinners of their family. They are the ones that you know went to college, you know, got a quote-unquote corporate job. They're the ones that are providing for their families. You know some of them. Their husbands are, you know, either in construction you know some of them, their husbands are, you know, either in construction, you know, which obviously makes good money too or they're farmers, you know stuff like that.
Brittany:But it was really interesting because they're obviously older, you know in their 50s or so, but they're all very supportive and having that in a team, coming from a toxic company and then coming into that was just like oh my gosh, this is just mind blown. Like it felt so good. Everyone supported each other, whether it was at work or like their personal lives. They talked about different parenting styles, like how to, you know, deal with certain situations with your kids and they all have kids that you know, different stages in their lives, so they kind of mentor each other too, which I thought is is really great, um? And then, yeah, it is. And then, just on top of that, I think I mentioned um, my partner is a Latinxer, so you know a little side note he hates the term Latinx, which just makes me latch on to it even more oh, he's a good sport um so there's just not a lot of diversity in the south.
Brittany:It's very black or white. Anything in terms of like brown or yellow spectrum is just not there and I don't know how else to put it. It's black or white. So yeah, if you want to get good Mexican food, no, that's not going to happen. Good Indian food it's not going to happen. Good Asian food just stick to barbecue or American Like. Those are your best bets.
Meghan:I will say, you know, the first time, so you know, I was living in Alabama. The first time I flew back to California, I landed and, you know, get off the plane. And the first time, so you know, I was living in alabama. The first time I flew back to california, I landed and, you know, get off the plane, and the first thought that popped into my head was, oh, mexicans. And then, like, the second thought was megan, what are you doing like you're about to get canceled? Right, but really, truly it was. It was just so exciting to see other races and just the representation of what we have in this country, Whereas, like in Alabama, exactly what Brittany is saying is very black and white. There's no other representation of ethnicity down there.
Brittany:Yeah, what was? Do you have any stories about assimilating to the culture?
Meghan:Well, you know, I'll tell you this, this story is kind of ridiculous. So I kept running stop signs. So what I? What I figured out and noticed in California they have stop signs and then on the ground they do like these white lines that say like stop on the pavement, and in Alabama they don't. And there's just so many trees in Alabama. It's really beautiful that I just never even noticed the stop signs. So I just kept running them.
Brittany:She took her California roll all the way to Alabama.
Meghan:Just barrels with the stop signs, yeah it changed from like a california roll to like a california barrel exactly what you just said over speed.
Brittany:Bump kids. Don't put your kids in the cars with megan did you ever run over?
Meghan:any kids, definitely didn't run anybody over or get into any accidents, but I was um taking kids to school during that time of my life and word was getting back to other parents that I was running them constantly, so I definitely had to focus on finding the stop signs and stopping they're like put your seat belt on johnny if megan's driving double buckle. They're like coming in the car wearing helmets. Already I know I've got a problem. What about you? Any funny stories?
Brittany:oh gosh. Yeah, there's a couple um, I think probably one is just how they do business in the south is a little bit different, so, and it's really just with how they communicate. I'm always a laid back person, very chill. I've always come across as just very like I don't know, not passionate about what I do, even though I am. I'm just not super in your face about it until they get me a drink and then I'll be in your face, but obviously I can't drink at work. So I get on a call with you know my business unit. I'm like hey, you know how's it going, talking blah, blah, blah, and they're on the call and they're just like yeah, okay, you know we're gonna do this and you had a great weekend.
Meghan:I'm already like could you speed this up? Yeah, and.
Brittany:I'm on there, like you know, spitfire, like oh yeah, let's do this, this, this, this, this, and they're probably thinking it's cracking girl. She just must have did like, oh yeah, let's do this, this, this, this, this, and they're probably thinking it's crackhead girl. She just must have did like a line of coke and just got on this call and is just shooting off the hip. So I think just I had to put myself on mute a couple of times so I can catch your breath. Ok, slow down.
Meghan:Well, I know I can keep up with you, but we may need to add closed captioning for our listeners, because you do spit out some words.
Brittany:The South doesn't just have thick accents, though. They also have, obviously, the slow way of talking. So maybe what other languages do they have other than their? What is it? Drawn out drolls. I can't even talk right now. Drawn out drolls.
Meghan:I can't even talk right now Drawn out drolls. I would love to hear a person from the South say drawn out drolls. I bet you they wouldn't be able to, but you know there's actually a language barrier, so I have to tell this story. I was talking with someone and they were asking me about my brother and how he's doing in school and they said you know how much he like and I was like I mean, I think he likes it. All right, you know. And she's like no, how much they like. And I'm like what he likes, school, just fine. Like what are you saying? But really what the term like that? What it means how much you like is how much you have left and I like how much of school he had left and I honestly think the term used to be how much you lack, like how much is left, lack, but the like accent over time turned it into how much you like, and so pretty funny, just completely different language almost.
Meghan:And then there's definitely some sayings down in the South.
Brittany:Oh, I know my manager was kind enough to put together like a little playbook of the translations of all of these, so she gave me a little text and was like okay, you know, when people say this, this is what they mean. And one of them was fixing to leave and I was like what are you fixing? Like do like a home improvement project before you leave, Like I mean I'm usually getting ready and like all right, see you there, and she's like no, it means I'm getting ready to leave.
Meghan:I'm glad you got the booklet. I didn't. But I would tell you probably my most favorite saying from the South that I still use to this day is you a mess? And there is literally no translation to like what that actually means. It's just you a mess. It's kind of it's funny, it's hilarious. It's not meant to be offensive, um, but I have no way to explain what it means. I just love it and of course I have to say it with like lots of head movement you a mess.
Brittany:I don't think it gives it the same.
Meghan:if you don't right, you gotta add a lot of flavor into that one. If you don't Right, you got to add a lot of flavor into that one.
Brittany:Let's see. Oh, they got some other ones. I like the little, the classic, the bless your heart one, my favorite, my favorites. When we talk to vendors that are, you know, obviously not from the South, and my coworkers are just like, oh, bless your heart. And they're like, oh, sweetie, you're so sweet. And I'm just like oh my God, you're such an idiot.
Meghan:So for our listeners bless your heart. If you've ever been told bless your heart, they were saying you's an idiot. It is the nicest way to say you are dumb, you messed up. It is not a compliment when they say bless your heart it sounds so sweet too when the little accent comes out.
Brittany:It's just oh my God, it makes me laugh, and it is not sweet, I would say too.
Meghan:The culture of like, using ma'am and sir, is very much like alive and well. And I absolutely loved it when, you know, kids were like, yes, ma'am, no ma'am, I thought it was, you know, super sweet. Yes, ma'am, no ma'am, I thought it was, you know, super sweet. But it just becomes part of your language and so it's my habit now and you know, I've left, I've left Alabama, but I still say you know, ma'am and sir, and I'm dating someone right now and I'll be like yes, sir, no sir, but it's just, it's part of it and so he's trying to retrain me. So now I'm like, no, sir, I try to add like a little attitude in it, because before it was like marching orders.
Brittany:No sir.
Meghan:Like you know, so adding a little flair into it. But I've definitely like changed some of my language and it's been added on and I can't, can't get rid of it quite yet it's just ingrained now at that point.
Brittany:So changing topics a little bit, what did your friends and family say when you were? You told them that you were going to move to Alabama. What was their reaction?
Meghan:Yeah, you know, honestly, people were on board mostly probably because they were scared to go against me, but really they saw how in love I was and they really wanted that happiness for me. I, hands down, have the most incredible network of family and friends, and so not only did they support me with this, but they all like showed up in huge fashion when I was coming back too. What about you, brittany? What did your say I had?
Brittany:a different reaction. I mean, obviously my parents were supportive, but a lot of my friends were just like why are you moving there? Like they're all racist and I'm like who? And they're like you know, the people in the South. I was like this isn't the 1950s. Like you know, we're in like 2020. Like we've progressed as a society since then and they're like their perception of the South, I mean, they're so like in this little eco bubble of the Bay Area and you know, tell them you're moving to like a state. That's not that, or New York or a big city. They're just like, oh my gosh, they're all rednecks, they're all racist. So I wish a lot of them would come out to, would have came out to visit, cause I just I had a blast out there and they were all super welcoming when we came and it was just completely just I don't know.
Brittany:I had a really good experience out there.
Meghan:I think there's. You know there's a mix, like I think unfortunately the South gets tagged with that stereotype of being racist and you know that's where a lot of the civil rights movement happened and so it is different than California just because that's where it happened and there's still monuments and there's, you know, big major historical events that happens there around that. But that's not to say that you know they haven't moved. You know some of that population hasn't moved past that and aren't, you know, inclusive to others. I think I experienced a little bit of a mix as it related to that.
Brittany:Yeah, yeah, I could see maybe like the smaller towns being a little bit offset by newcomers or people that are different than maybe like a city or if you're working at a corporation or something like that a little bit bigger. I was in a very quote unquote liberal area for Tennessee. So it wasn't wasn't no big thing. Well, let's talk about food. Yeah, I love some food.
Meghan:So what like food like? What was your food experience down in the south?
Brittany:um well, definitely do not take recommendations from my co-workers on anything ethnic related, like love them to death. But when they say there's good mexican food, I tried every mexican restaurant I swear in in the local area. Not one place was good like yeah, it was pretty much like just like whitewashed mexican places, so they're like little mini chipotles all over the place. So summit all at taco bell was better. Um, yeah, that was mine. My, I don't know. Did you have a different experience? I don't know how much ethnic food was down in Alabama.
Meghan:Well, I lived in a pretty small town, so like there was not really any good food I mean ethnic is so far from like what I had. But I would say this I had never had okra or hush puppies until I moved to the South and let me tell you, oh, I could eat some okra and hush puppies. Um, till I moved to the south and let me tell you, oh, I could eat some okra and hush puppies. Love them so much. And it's funny because you know you never see them on the menu outside of the south. But anytime I go back for a visit if I see okra and hush puppies, like I'm ordering them in like buckets because I love them so much.
Brittany:But there's a lot of fried food. Yeah, this is why their health premiums are so high. Everything is fried, deep fried lard. Real ingredients.
Meghan:Yeah, and I think Brittany said it earlier, they got some good barbecue.
Brittany:Oh yeah, hands down for sure. Good barbecue, good American. Stick to the basics.
Meghan:Okay, so let's lighten it up a bit. When I say lighten, I mean lightning. How do you feel about tornadoes, brittany?
Brittany:So Megan was talking about her network earlier and let me tell you she really has a network. So we're going to dive into this with our weather story. But for our listeners, cali weather is very like centric. You know, they're always focused on the weather, always this, that, whatever with the weather. And Megan basically just moved to Tornado Alley. So why don't you tell us about your experience with that?
Meghan:Well, I didn't say that I didn't abuse my network.
Meghan:I said I had an amazing network. But you know, it was kind of interesting because when I moved there was just such a huge fear around tornadoes and not understanding them, because in California, I mean, we have earthquakes but that's just like a little rumble, it's no big deal, and so there's just this huge fear, not exposure to it. So I decided to start MEGS, the Megan Emergency Guid system, and I had different alerts and levels based on like the tornado danger. So if it was like just a tornado watch, it would be like the Wizard of Oz, like witch, like riding on her bike, but then if it turned into like a tornado warning, you'd see like a house, like flying. But I did that so that they could have some exposure to how often we got these warnings and how most often it wasn't really a big deal. For me, exposure creates comfort and in the absence of information, people make it up. So I was giving them that exposure and information so that they could see it wasn't as big of a deal as you thought when you moved there.
Brittany:Yeah, I definitely agree with you there. If you don't grow up with it or if you're not exposed to it, you don't really, you know, not really sure. And let me tell you, megan really did expose us to this because when she was leaving she's like can you help? You know? You know, pack up my house and move. And we're like, yeah, sure, no problem. So we drove down and, yeah, there's like she's driving to the airport to go pick up her parents and she's like, all right, just stay in my house. You know like whatever box and stuff. I'm like, cool, no problem. There was a tornado watch, and not just one tornado watch, and not just two tornado watch or three, there was 20. And she's driving to the airport up and they're like landing the freaking plane. Two different planes, they're on separate planes in alabama. And I'm like what is this madness? Like the shelter is pulled back. Oh yeah, just grab my dog and cats and you know your dog and get in there, you'll be fine. I'm like what the hell?
Meghan:well, first off, 20 isn't normal, so I think alabama was in protest. I was leaving or they were telling me to leave, and I was quite surprised that my parents were able to land with that many watches going on. But that day was quite interesting. There was a lot of tornadoes popping off in the state.
Brittany:It was wild. Yeah, what did you say? You was wild, you was wild.
Meghan:You's a mess. Oh, that's what it was. You's a mess. Alabama, get you some act right, that's another term, get you some act right so why did you decide to leave? I mean, obviously wasn't the tornadoes whirling you out yeah, um, honestly, that traditional kind of southern wife life didn't suit my personality. Um, I think that'll be another podcast that we talk about, but you know, unfortunately the situation didn't work out, and so I decided to move closer to my parents. What about you, brittany? Why did you decide to leave Tennessee? Well, that's fair enough.
Brittany:Our rent was going up something crazy in terms of what I would have paid for in California. So it was a hard. I'm not going to pay that out here. We did look at houses out there. I guess the most covenant quote unquote houses are on top of a brow ridge. And in case you don't know what the big deal is, behind a freaking brow ridge, it's the top of a mountain.
Meghan:It's not like my eyebrow here, like brow ridge, I'm hearing eyebrow.
Brittany:That's what I heard too. I was like they have brow waxing in this place.
Meghan:I have questions.
Brittany:No, he really was selling us hard on it. It's like a whole little golf cart community and it just sounded like a lot of dollar signs and HOA fees that I was not willing to pay. So essentially, long story short, it didn't align with our long-term financial goals. So, um again, I kind of just threw my husband in the back of the you know car and we ended up moving to florida and I like that.
Meghan:He's always thrown in the back of the car, because I know your dog is like sitting in the front seat, like sucker.
Brittany:I got the air conditioning and he's tied up in the back no, he's such a good sport.
Brittany:I just tease him because you know we got to keep it interesting. But now, like plot twist, so I moved him to Tennessee where you know we got black, white, he's the minority. And now we have like brown, and you know black, and now I'm the minority. So everyone comes up to me now and thinks I'm, you know Latin, and they start talking to me in Spanish and I'm just like I got about every other word you said Like I'm going to need like translator.
Meghan:I like it. Well, I'm happy you left, even though you live further away, but I'm happy you left from a selfish reason, so I can come vacation at your house and get some sunshine.
Brittany:Oh yes, we got plenty of that, lots of sunshine. Oh yes, we got plenty of that, lots of sunshine. So for our audience, the big question, oh, question from the audience. Would you ever move back to California if? You would do it all over again, knowing what you know now and why.
Meghan:No, just hard pass. But I can expand on that. I mean, you know it, it didn't quite work out going to Alabama, but now I'm in Arizona and you know, um, I learned a lot and you know it's hard to say that, um, you would change stuff. You know, I I try not to live in regret. I just try to learn from my mistakes and hopefully share them with others. So, yeah, I'm very happy I left California and would never intend on moving back. What about you?
Brittany:I was going to say, if you said yes, I think we should just end it here and like go our separate ways as friends, because I would never come visit you again. Fair enough. Needless to say, no, I would not move back. There was just so much stress living there that you didn't really realize until after you moved out. And I don't know if it was just the fast paced life, everyone concerned about what the freaking weather is doing for the day, the high taxes, the bullshit, whatever political uprising is going to happen that week, like I just I was over it, like yeah and you move, and it's just like and I?
Meghan:I don't think it has to be made political at all. It's just so hard to live there, um, and there's so many extra things that you have to do when you live in california. From like a a thinking process like okay, it's gonna take me five minutes to get to the grocery store and then I have 20 minutes there and I can plan for 10 minutes on the way back. Like you have to do so much more mapping out and thinking through just normal tasks that you don't have to think about here. You can just go do them. I know it's just such a stress relief. Well, I think that's enough about callie, don't you?
Meghan:yeah, I think we've given it enough air time for for the podcast perfect well, if you yourself have ambition, drive and booze in your system, we would love to have you as a guest or hear your ideas. Please email fearlessly female uncensored at gmailcom. Thanks for joining us today.
