Life of Lemons: Making Lemon Drops Out of Lemons

Ready to challenge the status quo of the corporate world? Let's debunk the myths surrounding leadership and professionalism. In this enlightening episode of "Fearlessly Female," we draw from personal experiences to highlight the delicate balance between technical skills and leadership prowess. We tackle the reality of stagnant work environments and the importance of understanding that employees aren't permanent fixtures. By encouraging skill development and involving employees in extra projects, companies can cultivate a culture of growth, ultimately leading to a more satisfying workplace for everyone involved.

But what happens when you're in the throes of an extended job search? We've got practical strategies to maintain positivity and emotional intelligence during this often-tumultuous time. From organizing job applications to the transformative power of self-belief, we explore how to stay motivated and positive. Emotional intelligence isn't just a buzzword; it's a vital tool for managing stress and transforming vague feedback into actionable insights. Join us as we share uplifting stories and powerful affirmations to help you reprogram your mindset for success. With support from a strong network and a focus on personal responsibility, discover how to pursue your ambitions with renewed confidence and motivation.

🎙️fearlesslyfemaleuncensored@gmail.com

Chapters

• 0:05 Navigating Corporate World Challenges
• 12:19 Maintaining Positivity During Job Search
• 17:10 Empowering Self-Belief and Encouragement

Transcript

Brittany: 0:05

Welcome to Fe Female, where two blondes make a right. We're Brittany and Megan, the hosts of Fiercely Female. This podcast was born out of ambition, drive and a lot of wine. We're two powerhouse comedic women having uncensored conversations about topics that affect women. We're airing all the dirty laundry, so grab your favorite drink and give us a listen.

Meghan: 0:23

Today's podcast is Life of Lemons making lemon drops out of lemons. That's right, lemon drops. None of this lemonade crap. Warning calm your tits. Offense will not be taken here. Grab your favorite drink, burn your bra and have a good time.

Brittany: 0:39

All right, let's dive into our first topic corporate world. So as we go through our lives, we all get dealt a crappy hand when it comes to different flavors and it can be difficult to respond to. But let's start with the first flavor of crap we get dealt with corporate.

Meghan: 0:54

That sounds like a Jaeger bomb Used to be good, but now oh so gut-wrenching.

Brittany: 1:00

For all you that have corporate jobs, you get a unique set of personalities and flavors. That kind of walk into the door. So I left my government job and transitioned into a corporate environment. So I go in there naive, you know thinking everyone has this. You know kind of more or less minimum knowledge level in terms of professionalism, like the departments they're running. You know kind of put them on a pedestal. So I walked into that thinking it was going to, you know I was going to benefit a lot from it and get a lot of experience. But that was not the case at all.

Brittany: 1:34

When I had started my first job, the leadership at the time they had the working years of experience but not the industry experience. So, as you can imagine, there was just like a lot of friction going back and forth and it was really frustrating to work with and we were making a lot of changes within the team to make the processes more efficient. So you can imagine, you know, trying to explain to the leadership what we're doing, how it benefited the team, they just didn't really understand more, really cared to understand, and I felt personally it really hindered my growth, you know, to learn more and to you know continuously developing myself as a person as I was there in the job and then I saw the effects that had on the team and the department. So I ended up deciding to leave because I was just no longer being challenged, you know, with my day-to-day work and my personal development.

Meghan: 2:29

Yeah, sometimes a hill is too big that you can't change it. It's good to be aware and watch for this stuff and pull the plug when it is not serving you. I would also say a leader with no knowledge of the job tasks is not good, just like a leader with only technical knowledge and lack of leadership skills is not good. Those are two different things leadership skills and technical knowledge and you have to have balance between those two. Either can be learned, though, but you have to be willing, and that takes being vulnerable to not having all the answers, but it will create trust throughout your team, pending you don't have assholes that will take advantage of this, so you just really have to manage that dynamic or that culture.

Brittany: 3:12

Oh, I totally agree.

Brittany: 3:14

And you know, in my experience, just watching everybody, there's really like a certain finesse and charisma in terms of being a leader, because you have to navigate the politics outright right in a corporate organization.

Brittany: 3:26

But you also have to, you know, advocate, you know for your team too, and explain to your team what you're doing, and you know just cultivating them. So when I was there, I was working on this project, you know, to transform the team, you know make the processes more efficient, and there was no more or less like succession planning for my role or really anybody else's role, and it was more or less kind of just, you know, stay put in your job and keep you in that role, because we didn't want to grow you or mentor you or you know like kind of bring you upwards, because you know they didn't want people to leave their jobs, right, like they didn't want to put all this effort investing in them just for them to leave. But you also get the flip side of that, where you just kind of get into a groundhog day, mundane day-to-day stuff, and people don't always really thrive on that.

Meghan: 4:19

I would say early in my leadership journey, I got grounded on this concept. So it's a fact People are going to leave. They are not going to work for you for 50 years. That no longer exists. So you can either ignore it and let it be a problem for later, or you can harness it and use it to your advantage. Make it work for you. If your people want to go into leadership, have them back you up. When you go on vacation, Not only do you come back to less emails, but they're developing a skill. And then talk about extra projects and skill matching. There's always extra projects going around in the corporate world and so if they want to learn finance, figure out a way to have them do extra projects. It got to the point when I had employees they asked me to like stop developing them so much.

Meghan: 5:05

So like are you trying to get rid of us? Please stop, but I'm just so passionate about this topic.

Brittany: 5:10

And I think that's perfect, too right. That's a great example, because some people want to be developed and they want you to. You know, give them challenges and some people are just fine. You know, more or less kind of with the status quo, but understanding you know what people's goals are. Ambitions Like for me in this role. I'm just a really nice person generally, I'm very genuine.

Meghan: 5:31

No one would ever accuse me of being nice. By the way, that's Brittany, not Megan.

Brittany: 5:36

But the culture in that department and the company didn't really jive with my personality.

Meghan: 5:44

So how did you end up? Resolving the situation I just left and quit Like I mean there was really nothing I can do.

Brittany: 5:50

It was kind of, you know, more or less like trekking up a giant mountain that I was never going to change. But you know, I just decided. You know what it's time for me to change my environment.

Meghan: 5:59

Yeah, Realizing you're stuck in a situation and not putting up with it, change it. Nothing frustrates me more than a person who will stay in a situation and continue to complain but never make the change. I'm all for venting, but there is a point in time where you need to take accountability and change it.

Brittany: 6:18

Oh my goodness, yes, I've come across that in so many aspects and I mean you're just going to kind of get assholes that just hate their life and you got to deal with them. So I don't know if I've ever told you when I ended up moving jobs, about this, this department. I've like nicknamed them bitch ass BU.

Meghan: 6:37

Um, what I'm going to need to hear about this? My brain goes like BU, like university. I hope there's a mascot.

Brittany: 6:46

There should have been, for how terrible these people were. So just for our listeners, bu is a shorthand for business unit. So when I first started I drew the first straw and ended up working with this horrendous business unit I'm talking. They were like beyond difficult people to work with, like you name it. They were undermining argumentative, they'd go around my back and I worked in healthcare.

Brittany: 7:11

So the biggest thing with healthcare is protecting, you know, people's PHI, protected health information. And anytime we do contracts, you know you had to have certain more or less guardrails in place from a contracting standpoint. So they were in information delivery. Everything they touched had PHI and it would just prolong the contracting process. So they would tell me no, no, no, like there's no PHI, they would send PHI out, which is, you know, for the record, a fireable offense. You know, at the company and the leadership. I brought it up to my boss, to their boss. We talked about it. Nothing got done there. They weren't reprimanded for it I can't think of the word right now no punishment, they didn't even get a slap on the wrist. Talk to her anything like that you know.

Meghan: 7:58

this is where you get in the news headlines Like such and such a company announces everyone's private information. Right, I'm almost positive, I read that somewhere. But what does that relationship look like now with that company? They were probably behind the news articles.

Brittany: 8:19

I'm guessing. So I just kind of like took a step back and we were just butting heads so much I realized like, hey, they're not going to change. So I needed to change my response to this situation and, I don't know, maybe just not be so uptight about it. But I kind of took a step back and was observing like the interactions and then realized more or less the manager that I worked with on a daily basis, they didn't really have a great home life and what I mean by that is like they didn't wear the pants in the relationship. They felt like more or less undermined at home.

Brittany: 8:46

So when they came into work, they come in and take that and take it out on everybody, like the direct reports have been in meetings where it just they treated them the same way I did.

Brittany: 8:56

So what I ended up doing was like, okay, I'm going to let you wear the pants at work you know I'm going to inflate your ego within reason, you know. And, um, sorry, okay, so I let them wear the pants at work, you know, within reason and keep them in line, but I absolutely needed to just, you know, turn it around. So there was a few instances here and there where like I would get upset, but I already expected this from them and I also realized I know it's not because of me or who I am that they were treating me this way. I know it's not because of me or who I am that they were treating me this way and it really kind of changed more or less my relationship with them and the dynamic and overall outlook with them and they were like one of the business units that nobody wanted to work with and they just got to the point where like, oh my gosh, brittany, we love you, we want to work with you, we don't want to work with anyone else.

Meghan: 9:49

So it actually like was very interesting dynamic after that don't want to work with anyone else, so it actually like was very interesting dynamic after that. Some of the best career advice I got on I got early on was from someone I didn't particularly like or respect at work. But the advice he gave me was to understand who you work with and their different styles. How I work with one person versus another is completely different. So, brittany, that's what you're doing In this instance. This guy just needs the control, right, so you just handed it over and ultimately what happened was you controlled the relationship and got out of it what you needed. So you were still kind of sneakily holding the control, but that's what that person needed and you needed to give it to them to be successful in your own career. And, honestly, I've actually just turned my whole job, professional career, into this. Like small piece of advice is what I do for a living now.

Brittany: 10:41

I love it. I really think that's like the best advice too, because it saves you a lot of headache in the long run because you're not sitting there trying to, like you know, smash like a square peg in a round hole, thinking you know it has to be this way. Smash like a square peg in a round hole, thinking you know it has to be this way, and you take a more adaptive approach to different people, their personalities, their styles, because not everybody is the same.

Meghan: 11:00

Well, let's talk about different flavors of lemons. I'm done with corporate. Tell me about after all hours. Let's call it happy hour.

Brittany: 11:25

I don't know, I don't think that's going to work, but I really think how you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself radiates outward into your personal and professional and other relationships too.

Meghan: 11:31

Cue self-care, self-love. Light a candle, put on a mask, it's all fixed, right, I wish oh my gosh, that sounds so nice.

Brittany: 11:40

Sign me up at the Lemon Drop because I'm all for it, but realistically I mean life's hard right. I think we can all agree on that. If not, please email me what drugs you're taking and where I can find them, because I would like to order some. But, megan, you're dealing with a little bit of a lemon situation right now, or at the time we're recording this, so why don't you tell us about?

Meghan: 12:02

it, yeah. So I mean boiling it down. I have to find a job and you know we have talked about the corporate world a lot, but this is my personal life. It's so connected to the corporate world. I have to find a job to pay for the roof over my head, electricity to record this podcast.

Meghan: 12:19

So I've been looking for a job for focused six months but honestly, it's been a two-year journey and I was. I had one that was like looking really good and then the company changed their mind and decided not to hire the position after I had gotten like several interviews. And then I had another company take four months to make a decision, including like multiple interviews and assessments. I have like five pages of jobs that I've applied to and I'm just getting like no traction. But really, I think the point is how do you mean positivity in this situation? It's all good and hunky dory to deal with stress for a short amount of time, but this has been weighing on me for six months and we're getting to the end of the deadline for me to have a new job and potentially be unemployed, so there's a lot of pressure on it.

Brittany: 13:07

Oh my gosh, that sounds so stressful. I'd probably be pulling my hair out right now, especially, like you know, when you're worried about OK, am I going to have a place to live soon, or you know food to eat, you know that's always helpful. So how did you maintain positivity in a situation like that and not you know?

Meghan: 13:29

accidentally convey that you're going on all these interviews and convey it in your interview. So I think the first is I give myself grace, I allow myself to take a break from the job search, I allow myself to have a good cry or just freeze, and I recognize the stress that I'm under and seriously go take the nap right. This is so important, especially when you're dealing with lemon juice for a long time. Whether it's applying for a job or dealing with something else, you have to find a way to take a break from the situation so you can get energy and be recharged to tackle it again. Oh my God, I love a good cry.

Brittany: 13:58

But you know, taking the break right, it's like that sweet and salty thing to counteract the lemon juice you're dealing with Exactly.

Meghan: 14:04

The second is I get into action, right. So once you've had that treat to counteract that lemon juice, use that sugar rush we're just going to totally overplay this metaphor in the podcast, by the way but start taking action. Whether it's finding a job or you're dealing with another lemon in your life, take action. So I love lists. I feel better when I make a large list of the jobs I've applied for, or I have a whiteboard that has all my interview thoughts up, or I use a flagging system in my email and I challenge myself to get rid of all the flags that are related to jobs. I make it into a game. So you need to use your style to make that action happen.

Brittany: 14:43

I love that. I mean, that makes sense, right? You're not like Netflix and binging and, you know, hoping the job's going to fall out of your sky while you're at your little campfire, right, right, that never happens.

Meghan: 14:54

And the last point is really around emotional intelligence. I'm realizing I'm very irritable toward people that have nothing to do with my situation. I'm realizing that I'm dealing with a stressful situation and try not to take it out on others or make them aware of my situation, letting them know to go easy on me I don't want to really be teased right now, or certainly do not follow up with me constantly about the status of this lemon right. Trust you, trust me, I am going to tell you once. It is a lemon drop worth celebrating.

Brittany: 15:24

I totally agree and I've been in a similar situation. But I feel like communicating how you're feeling. You know, obviously in a calm way, I used to be very explosive and, you know, angry when I was younger, but it really goes a long way. You know, if you haven't slept well, like hey, I'm a little bit irritable. You know X, y, z things, exactly like how you said in your situation.

Meghan: 15:44

So people understand, like oh, okay, I get where this person's coming from, yeah, and that's really some smart emotional intelligence right there. And if you're listening, an emotional intelligence, or EQ, is a new term for you I encourage you to go find an assessment and go work on it. Political savviness and emotional intelligence can almost be related, and if you're getting vague feedback in your life, whether it's at your career or personal life, this is a real quick way to turn that into specific.

Brittany: 16:16

That's really good advice. I have like a friend who I'm just going to call her Dolly, in this.

Meghan: 16:23

Dolly as in Dolly as in Dolly Parton.

Brittany: 16:26

Dolly Parton I wish. I mean she's comparable to Dolly Parton. So the example pretty much for her is she's working like a series of minimum wage jobs and she was always saying, you know, I would hope I get you know XYZ corporate job or I need a new job. But she was just kind of like very pessimistic about the situation and didn't, you know, take the action like you did with the list. That's why I love what you're saying with going back and making a game of it so you can see the progress you made. Here's the interesting part about her, though she's absolutely brilliant, like she went to college studied business. She's like absolutely boss woman. Her family's very smart, very intelligent, but she doesn't believe in herself to get to that next level.

Brittany: 17:10

So I think that's where a lot of like you know, these affirmations come, you know, into play, and I don't mean, you know XYZ just I hope thing is going to happen. But you really have to change the statement, because it forces your mind to change how you think and adopt a new belief system. So in you know her instance, you know, instead of saying I would hope I get a new job, you know, just act like you already have the job or tell yourself I have this job and you know I'm excited to go to it, I love my life. You know, at some point you're going to need to start like conditioning yourself to believe that and reprogramming your subconscious, because your brain's pretty much just a giant computer and if you're continuously feeding it garbage and like negative programming, that's what you're going to. You know, adopt and accept. But if you kind of reprogram that and repeatedly tell yourself, like I'm the best, I do great, I'm amazing, like you're going to start believing that.

Meghan: 18:03

Absolutely. I hope everyone has cheerleaders in their lives helping encourage you to the next level. I recently had a friend tell me you are always encouraging my crazy ideas. So, yes, have those, but ultimately it is up to you. Just like Britt said, you have to believe in yourself and go after it. Find the people behind you that can cheer you on with a drink in the hand. So, brittany, are you coming over for lemon drops? Oh, I'm on my way now.

Brittany: 18:28

So if you yourself have ambition, drive and booze in your system, we would love to hear from you as our guest or hear ideas. You can email us at fearlesslyfemaleuncensored@ gmail. com.