Essential Meetings, Intentional Networks, Midlife Transitions, & Mindfulness with Kirsten Meneghello

🎙️ Welcome to another episode of the Timeless Vitality podcast.  

✨ Joining our co-hosts, Kate Beck and Amber Stitt we dive into a captivating discussion with Kirsten Meneghello, as she shares her wisdom on leadership, mindfulness, confident communication, intentional networking, and navigating midlife transitions.

⏳ In this insightful conversation, Kirsten emphasizes the critical importance of focusing on essential activities, maintaining work-life balance, and the art of saying "no" to prioritize what truly matters. 

🗓️ We'll also explore how leaders can use strategic meetings to enhance productivity and connection, and the vital role relationships play in both personal well-being and professional success.

📻 Tune in as we jump into practical tips for managing social interactions, the transformative power of friendships, and strategies for integrating healthy habits into social activities. 

🧘 Kate, Amber, and Kirsten discuss the significance of intentional relationships, preparing for a fulfilling retirement, and the role of mindfulness in fostering resilience.

💺 Sit back, relax, and join us on this journey to timeless living and lasting professional success.

🔶 Key Discussion Points:

🌱 Kirsten's journey and expertise in executive coaching.
🌱 "Addition by Subtraction" - Kirsten’s newsletter highlighting the importance of focusing on essential activities.
🌱 The "4 Key Meetings You Should Never Skip as a Leader" and how to strategically navigate networking.
🌱 Balancing professional and personal relationships for a holistic approach to well-being.
🌱 The transformative power of friendships and their impact on health and longevity.
🌱 Practical tips on integrating healthy habits into social activities.
🌱 Navigating transitions, like retirement, by finding purpose beyond one's career.
🌱 Utilizing technology like ChatGPT for personalized advice on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
🌱 Importance of mindful engagement and presence in building resilient networks.

🌟 About Our Guest: Kirsten Meneghello, based in Portland, Oregon, has been leading Illumination Coaching since 2010. She specializes in helping senior leaders in communication, delegation, and navigating transitions confidently. Kirsten is also passionate about mindfulness, martial arts, friendship, and family which she integrates into her coaching philosophy.

🔗 Connect with Kirsten Meneghello:

📲 Website: https://illuminationcoaching.com/
📲 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirstenmeneghello/
📲 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@illuminationcoaching
📲 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/illuminationcoaching
📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/illuminationcoaching/

🔗 Connect with Amber Stitt & Kate Beck:

📲 Timeless Vitality Website: https://timeless-vitality.com

🔔 Subscribe to Timeless Vitality for more inspiring stories and actionable wisdom on vitality and resilience. Hit the bell icon to stay updated with our latest episodes!

🎧 Listen on Buzzsprout:

#TimelessVitalityPodcast #AmberStitt #KateBeck #Leadership #ExecutiveCoaching #KirstenMeneghello #Mindfulness #IlluminationCoaching #PathwaysPodcast

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Transcript

Kate Beck  [00:00:03]:
Welcome to the Timeless Vitality podcast where co-hosts Kate Beck and Amber Stitt explore the unique journeys, inspiring stories, and timeless wisdom of those who embody vitality and resilience.

Amber Stitt [00:00:17]:
Together, we discover what it means to thrive well beyond 100, sharing insights that empower you to live with purpose and create a lasting legacy.

Kate Beck  [00:00:27]:
Let's get started with today's episode. Hello and welcome to the Timeless Vitality podcast. My name is Kate Beck and joining me is co-host Amber Stitt.

Amber Stitt [00:00:37]:
Great to be here.

Kate Beck  [00:00:39]:
Today we have Kirsten joining us and we are so excited to have her on the show. Kirsten, tell us a little bit. First of all, this year you were featured in the Portland Business Journal and we would love to hear a little bit about your day-to-day and your business. Tell us.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:00:55]:
Awesome. Thank you, Kate and Amber for having me here today. It's lovely to be a part of the show. So my name's Kirsten Meneghello. I'm based in Portland, Oregon and I'm the founder of Illumination Coaching. I founded that company in 2010. So, almost 15 years now celebrating that anniversary coming up. And I am a leadership and executive coach.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:01:17]:
I work mostly with corporate leaders, I would say VP and above around confident communication and deliberate communication around having those difficult conversations. As leaders, we need to hold people accountable. We engage in conflict on our teams. We need to delegate things like that. So that's one area of my body of work. And additionally I work with more senior leaders as they're transitioning to retirement or kind of a later midlife transition. Sometimes people want to get off the corporate merry go round and they want to step into what's next. They're not fully ready for retirement in the way it's traditionally been characterized to us, and they're trying to figure out what's next.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:01:59]:
They need a guide and support to answer those questions for themselves because each person is really different.

Kate Beck  [00:02:04]:
Thank you. This year I received your newsletter and many times I received newsletters and I immediately delete them, or I read them, I get to the first two, I get to the first sentence and I...

Kirsten Meneghello [00:02:17]:
Well, thank you for being honest.

Kate Beck  [00:02:22]:
I just, that's how I do it. And unfortunately it's because the information isn't resonating with me, or what I'm doing. And as a corporate leader, I am delighted to say I didn't delete your newsletter. In fact, I read it, I ate it up. And I'm specifically talking about the one that was "Addition by Subtraction." It really aligns with our Timeless Vitality Pearls of Wisdom. And I would love to hear more about "Addition by Subtraction", specifically, "4 Key Meetings You Should Never Skip as a Leader".

Kirsten Meneghello [00:02:53]:
Oh, absolutely. Well, Kate, thank you so much for giving me the highest compliment of not clicking delete on my newsletter right away.

Amber Stitt [00:03:01]:
She's very organized, that's why.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:03:03]:
Yeah, very impressive. I appreciate that. So, for me, what I see time and again for leaders is there's so much change happening, right? There's so much being thrown at people, especially kind of mid to more senior leaders. Maybe they're not C-Suite, but they're vice president, senior vice president. And there's stuff being pushed down to them all the time. There's stuff that's being pulled up from their teams, too, and they're just caught in the middle, and they're just in a responsive mode. Stuff's coming at them, and it's like, "Whoa, I'm just dealing with all these issues that are coming at me," instead of really stepping back to be strategic and thoughtful about how they spend their time.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:03:40]:
So what I'm talking about in the newsletter is this idea of by removing things from our calendar and focusing on truly what's essential, then that's when we can be more effective. We could be more focused and actually see improved results, which we want to be seeing. Like, you push that initiative through to completion. You sold this new idea to a client. Things like that that really make a difference in a business setting. And so we really need to be just mindful of how we spend our time and how we focus our energy. And this idea was teed off of the book "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:04:16]:
I don't know if either of you are familiar with that book. It's fantastic. I come back to it time and time again to remind myself some of the lessons he shared there. And so what I encourage leaders to do is, if they're feeling overwhelmed, is to just take a blank piece of paper, or an online calendar and just blow it up, clear it out, start from scratch. And so the 4 Key Meetings, we need to just really set aside time for each week. It should serve as a foundation for our schedule is meeting with our own manager. So we need to know from them, even if you're a senior VP, like whoever you report to, the CFO, what have you, what are the key initiatives and priorities you should be driving with your team and your division. So that's number one.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:05:00]:
Number two is your own team. So the team that you lead, right, might be 5 people, might be 12 people, that you're having those team meetings with every week. So you're getting the team aligned, you're reinforcing clarity around what the strategic priorities are and getting the team to come together to solve problems, to celebrate wins, to keep people motivated. And then the next one is the one-on-one meetings. I know these often get clipped, right? You need to have those one-on-one direct report connections to solve their problems, to help coach people, get barriers out of their way. And often those are the things that kind of get thrown out as time gets crunched, but they're so key to make people feel engaged and fed and watered in their role. And then the fourth thing is strategic planning for yourself. So it might be a couple half an hours during the week.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:05:47]:
It might be a block of 2 or 3 hours. Whatever works for you. And you want to pick the time of day when you're feeling refreshed and you really can spend that time in a meaningful way. So those are the "4 Key Meetings".

Kate Beck  [00:05:58]:
I love it. How about when you meet someone, they're like, "Oh, I need you to meet this other person." Let me give you a scenario. At a coffee shop, meeting another...for me, I specialize in the transition to Medicare. So I'm meeting a financial planner who needs that resource for their book. And then their next appointment shows up and then they want to meet you. And how do you identify if as you're meeting all the people and I'm saying this other person is great, I'm excited to meet with them, but I need to really identify why are we meeting? Without sounding like I don't like you, it's not that I don't like you, but I'm trying to understand how would we actually work together if you don't need insurance and you're not interested in volunteering and you don't want to join this thing and maybe we're not the demographic. So how do you gracefully say, "You're amazing, I loved this moment, but right now I have to say that big no."

Kate Beck  [00:06:49]:
How do you do that? How do you do that gracefully?

Kirsten Meneghello [00:06:52]:
Does that occur a lot in your world?

Kate Beck  [00:06:55]:
Well, sometimes it does. Yeah. Yes. It's like, I want to meet all the people, but how do I create and identify criteria for what's essential to how many meetings outside my scope, or how can I put them in a like, one idea that I thought it was like, "Okay, well, could we go to a meeting I'm already going to?" Like, is there events I'm already going to? And if that doesn't align then what? How can you nicely say, "Oh my gosh, I would love to hang out with you, but I'm looking at next season right now."

Kirsten Meneghello [00:07:28]:
Right, exactly.

Amber Stitt [00:07:29]:
Scaling, Kate, like scaling for your own personal life. I think that's part of your blow it up. But you tell me. Blow up the calendar and say...

Kate Beck  [00:07:36]:
Is that what part of the blow it up is? I mean, that's why I wanted to bring it up.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:07:40]:
That's a really interesting question. So I think it is part of the blow it up. So after you have those essential meetings on your calendar, then you've got additional white space. So maybe that's 20 hours a week. All those things you're still going to be delivering, you're going to be meeting with clients, you're going to be working on projects, cross collaboration with teams and things like that. There's all those things that still continue to go on and business development meet with potential prospects and other referral sources. So thinking about your mission and who you serve and who your target population is, Kate, think about how could this person be of service to you and how could you be of service to them. And if there's not an obvious answer, I would look at how they were connected to you. So, maybe if that person came to you from like one of your highest, most important clients, it might be worth doing a 30 minute meeting with that person to honor the relationship that brought the two of you together.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:08:39]:
If it's just a random reach out, I get those a lot. I'm sure you both do too, as busy and out there people. I ask for, "You know what, what would we be talking about?" What would be important to me and then just to understand the why. And that should be the same for like when someone invites you to a meeting inside your organization, "What's my role at the meeting? What's the agenda? Because if I don't have an active role, I don't need to be there. Could you please send me a summary after the meeting so I know like key action points that came out of it." That would be my first is to understand what value you could share. Because I love people too.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:09:15]:
I mean every person I meet is so fascinating and I love their story. But I could spend my whole week meeting with people and not ever engaging in my business, which probably wouldn't be very essential, or effective in the whole scheme of things.

Kate Beck  [00:09:28]:
I love that answer. It really helps clarify and actually that's a good thing to share with a team too. In a team meeting of like, "Oh, I just love peopling," or this is what someone once said to me., "I just love these meetings." I met with this person and then I asked them, "Well, why did you meet with that person?" You know, if you don't know why you're meeting with the people, or you don't have some kind of idea ahead of time as to how we can both serve, it's okay to be open to what's possible, but there has to be some kind of limitation so you don't wear yourself out, or so I don't wear myself out, you know.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:10:01]:
Right, and there can be, again, just how you came together I think is the biggest insight into like what value that can bring. If someone I really respect and trust says, "Kirsten, you need to meet this person," this actually happened with someone recently. And I was kind of dubious. I looked at this person's LinkedIn and I was like, "I don't really see this connection here." It turns out, this person is super connected to a lot of people. And so even though on paper it's like, "I don't really see that." I had a short Zoom call with this person, really clicked with them, even though I was not expecting that.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:10:35]:
And so we are going to follow up with an in person coffee.

Kate Beck  [00:10:38]:
Oh, okay.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:10:38]:
So maybe like you could do some screening, short Zoom calls. I can do a 20 minute Zoom call and then see if there's any synergy, energy, excitement. You know, sometimes you go on those coffees and they're real duds.

Kate Beck  [00:10:50]:
Yeah, right.

Amber Stitt [00:10:51]:
Like a date!

Kate Beck  [00:10:53]:
I love that idea. Amber, how about you? Do you have situations where you often can use squeeze in a Zoom instead of an in-person to make it...

Amber Stitt [00:11:00]:
You know me, girl.

Kate Beck  [00:11:01]:
...fit in your calendar?

Amber Stitt [00:11:02]:
Am I driving out for that? Yeah. You know, I think what I'm hearing and you can correct me, that it's if you are a top performer, high achiever, you're running a business, or maybe employed but still running things, it's okay, back to saying, "No," and being okay with saying "No" and just let it be. Have peace with that. I think as we get older it feels more empowering. Like you know the reason behind it that we only have so much time. We have to either give it to family, or a purpose, but also protecting your time folds in resilience. You're not having burnout of just talking to every person.

Amber Stitt [00:11:34]:
But I recently had a financial planner say, I asked an investment manager, I said, "What's your minimums?" And he goes, "I don't really have one. It's not like the banks, but I recently helped somebody that was making 50 - 70,000 a year. They just inherited all this money and they're public service folks and gosh, they needed some help. And I didn't know it at the time, but they turned out to be a great client for the investment manager." But it's like you have to look at that common thread of that referral. Maybe it is okay to meet with them, but there's got to be some purpose to fuel the soul. If it's not monetizing, that's still important. Especially if we are Zooming a lot.

Amber Stitt [00:12:08]:
Kate, we maybe do need that community, but we might do a little LinkedIn checking it out first. But that's another message to our audience. If you are going through a transition, having that online presence, even if you don't feel super confident yet, clean up that LinkedIn presence. Because we're all using that as a front door to the book of the cover of your life. Clean it up if it's been a minute because people are using that more than ever.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:12:33]:
Yes, I agree.

Kate Beck  [00:12:34]:
Thank you.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:12:35]:
Well, and we can also schedule blocks of time. It just depends on how much. We can't give away 10 hours of our week to then take 2 hour meetings to drive across town for a coffee, but we can schedule two 20 minute meetings. So it's just how we think about it. And you know that 40 hours, or 50 hours a week is the real estate of our lives.

Amber Stitt [00:12:56]:
Yeah.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:12:56]:
So we can't just give it away.

Amber Stitt [00:12:58]:
Yeah.

Kate Beck  [00:12:59]:
What I love about that is the big picture. So this mistake I was making and I was looking at my week and my next week and I was thinking I just have a lot on my plate. We're not finding commonality in the next month even. But if I look at it from the big picture point of view and say, okay, this month I'll just loosely carve in 4 meetups or 4 Zooms, or if I can't do it in-person, I'll do it however many...And I wasn't thinking of it from that lens. And that's actually very helpful information. Thank you.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:13:27]:
Yeah, sure. Well, and also follow the energy. So I am more on the extroverted end of the spectrum. And so for me to connect with new people, whether it's in Zoom or in-person, I love that it feeds me at, lights me up and then I know other folks that they feel less so that way. So they might want to really narrow how much time. But for me, it buoys me and keeps me going during the week. So notice that and know yourself too well.

Kate Beck  [00:13:52]:
This takes us to the other piece, to your newsletter that just really inspired me and jazzed me up is "Midlife Boost". And here I am, I'm midlife. "How Friendships Can Transform Your Health." So that really rings a bell for the Pearls of Wisdom. Tell me more about how friendships can boost your health.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:14:12]:
Sure. So there have been more and more clinical studies that show that there is a huge correlation between having social connection and friendships and our physical health, our mental health, and our physical health too. And so I think a lot of us get busy. We're focused on work and the promotion, whatever our careers and taking care of our family. And then in that, over time, our friends might come from work, but we may not invest time in those relationships. We may not have friends outside of work. Maybe those have fallen off in the busyness of life.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:14:48]:
And so it's important to be intentional about finding, building, and nurturing those relationships so we have those outside of work. Because life can take us in a lot of different directions. I've had friends who've had serious illnesses and injuries, gone through painful divorces. And so friends can rally around us, they can be support, they can be our ear, someone that we can go to movies with, or hiking, whatever you do. But it adds a richness to life too. And so we can't just assume that people are going to be there. I coached one woman and she was a busy CFO and she worked all the time and she raised her kids and she realized that as she's entering this next phase of life, she wants to be very intentional and reach out to her friends. She said, "You know, they always ping me and I'm always receiving and I haven't done a very good job of reaching out to them.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:15:45]:
And I need to do that if I want them to stick around long-term." So that's, you know, we need to just invest time and energy in our friendships.

Kate Beck  [00:15:53]:
That is a good reminder because if you think about it, how many people who are entrepreneurs, or high level executives, we are working on the touch base for our current clients not to be too much, not to be too little, or maybe for finding out that you're not doing enough at all. And we think about, okay, what about our personal time, like outside of the one or two holidays per year, like a birthday and then the end of the year, are we actually calling or sending a card or an email or an electric card? So that's a great point.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:16:23]:
Or just spending time with them. I meet up for friends for walks, which I'm trying to do more and more of instead of meeting for happy hour. I love my happy hour, but it's probably healthier to be outside and go for a walk instead. And so, you know, just how can you weave those in?

Amber Stitt [00:16:39]:
Kate, so like we have our WIFS.

Kate Beck  [00:16:41]:
Yeah, yeah.

Amber Stitt [00:16:42]:
And we do these multi purposeful conversations. But what she's saying, I think you still need to separate that professional side. Kind of just get relaxed and be present with your people.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:16:54]:
Yeah.

Amber Stitt [00:16:54]:
Maybe family too. But I think you're saying that these clinical studies are saying literally, you need to have that friend space. It's not a spouse space. It's not a, you know, family, parents. It's gotta be....

Kirsten Meneghello [00:17:05]:
It is a true friendship. And you know what's interesting though, I wonder how you both feel about this. A lot of my friends do tend to be also business leaders and or small business owners because there's like the intersection between what motivates us and drives us to be successful in business. So I have very few friends that aren't also in the business world in that way. Do you find that to be true too?

Kate Beck  [00:17:28]:
Yes, 100%. That's why I'm like, well, the ones that I spend the most time with are also serving alongside me on a board at a nonprofit, or also doing personal development of some way, or exercise playing on a team. I mean, my new favorite exercise right now, with or without friends, that I love having compatibility with, is getting my 10,000 steps in per day. And the new insight that I have where I'm like, okay, this is effective, but how can I make it extra effective? And really we don't need to be running. We could be walking on a treadmill at a 3 point or 3.5 pace. But it's the incline that really makes a big difference. So one of my favorite things from a long time ago was to hike Snow King Mountain. I lived at the base of Snow King Mountain in Jackson, Wyoming, and every morning I'd ride my bike to the mountain, walk up the mountain, do push ups on the switchbacks, and then walk down.

Kate Beck  [00:18:23]:
So I used ChatGPT and said, "Hey, how can I recreate this scenario?" And it turns out that mountain is actually a 20% and the max you can do on a stair stepper is 15%. So what I realized is by checking the stats, I was walking at like 6%, thinking, "Oh, I've got incline." No, no, I need to make it up to 15%. And so finding friends that we can go on walks, or hikes with some incline. Some of my friends are doing stairs on the weekend, and they're so inspirational. Shout out to Alice and Jennifer for those steep stairs that they're climbing on the weekends. And mountains they're climbing. And so I love the idea of replacing happy hours with healthy hours.

Kate Beck  [00:19:01]:
Happy Hour, Healthy Hour!

Kirsten Meneghello [00:19:04]:
Are you going to coin that now? I like it.

Amber Stitt [00:19:08]:
It goes in your Kate book. She will have a book one day with these isms.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:19:12]:
Yes. Good.

Kate Beck  [00:19:14]:
Planting seeds of peace. Yes.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:19:17]:
I am super impressed. Our family went for a big hike at the coast this weekend and did a lot of elevation. I did not do pushups on the switchbacks, though, because I've never heard of that, and that is impressive.

Kate Beck  [00:19:30]:
Well, you could do it on a rock, you could do it flat, but it's just so much fun to take it to the next level. So start with one pushup, move it up. But I was doing 10 pushups, and the reason is I like even numbers. So it's like, okay, great, so 50 minutes, you know, 30 minutes up, 20 minutes down. But give me those 50 pushups. And I don't want to do all 50 pushups all at once. And let me tell you, I was in rockin' and shape, you know? And yes, here I am going, "What am I not doing?" Well, how easy is it to incorporate those 10,000 steps? And, I mean, I have a lot of support at home, too, because Christian will be like, "Hey, babe, how's your steps? What's that number on your...What are your stats?" And the other night, I got home from work, and I was literally just under 4,000 steps.

Kate Beck  [00:20:11]:
And so he took me to the track with the dogs, and he said, "I'm going to wait here with you because it'll probably get dark, but you got to get your steps in if you don't want to go to the gym and you want to go with Jack." And so it's nice to have an accountability partner, you know, friendship or otherwise.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:20:27]:
You know, someone that supports you and says you can do it.

Kate Beck  [00:20:30]:
Yeah.

Amber Stitt [00:20:31]:
And ChatGPT. I'm picturing this beautiful green Portland world, and then ChatGPT is mixed in, like, who else is going to do that besides Kate?

Kate Beck  [00:20:40]:
I know. You know, ChatGPT is, I just love it. It's my little electronic friend. I ask it all kinds of questions. It gives me all kinds of stats. I used to use Google for...Sorry, Google.

Kate Beck  [00:20:52]:
But now I'm using ChatGPT. It feels more personalized. And now I'm imagining the pale blue color of the rocks while I'm on my treadmill, or wherever I am doing my steps, because I have that information.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:21:05]:
Yeah, that's fantastic. ChatGPT is a great assistant and can generate all kinds of cool new ideas. I love it. I think that a lot of us get our needs met from work. Our like, psychological needs. We get a sense of accomplishment, we receive recognition, we get to solve problems. We have relationships at work.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:21:26]:
We get other emotional needs met through this. We have a sense of purpose, or meaning. Hopefully our work is meaningful to us, like I know it is for the three of us. And so how are you going to get those things replaced when you're not working? These are huge. And especially for professionals that have been in one career, or one industry their entire lives. You've always been a financial planner or advisor. How can you think about yourself without that identity? Who are you outside of that? How will you spend your time? And so for people to not wait until they're 65, or they're forced to start taking the required minimum distributions, or whenever that number is for them, Social Security turns on.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:22:07]:
It's like, start planning now. Something I did which brought me to this midlife and retirement work is as I turned 50, I started asking myself, what do these next 30 - 40 years look like for me? I don't know. But what I do know is that how it's been kind of pitched to me, or how I've thought about it in the US environment of retiring and doing just playing golf all day is not it for me. It's not. And so okay, that's great. That's what I'm saying no to. What am I saying yes to? So starting to ask these questions and I've realized that the journey is different for each person. Some people just want to dial work back and work 3 days a week.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:22:47]:
Some people want to just leave it behind and move to something that's more mission driven. They're more focused on leaving a legacy, maybe mentoring people in their same field. Other people had a lifelong dream they haven't really chased yet. And so it's like I do want to start that nonprofit, or start a business, or be a full time volunteer in X capacity. And so helping people to figure out what are those dreams, how are they currently getting their needs met that they're going to be doing in the next chapter? What are their values that support that? So it's just, it's so much bigger than just how old am I? Should I retire and how much money have I saved? Because you could have hit the number age-wise and have enough in the bank and investments and still not feel ready for retirement. And so how do you want that next chapter to unfold?

Amber Stitt [00:23:36]:
I think sometimes when you hire a coach, it's almost you say, I don't need it because then you have to hear these things about yourself. It feels like it's very judgmental. But I do see a trend with top producers. The wealthy ones have executive coaches. It helps them because your spouse, your partner, your people can support you, but sometimes they really don't see your potential in the same way. Some third party will have to be that for you. So I see that happening more, but it's like it's essential.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:24:02]:
It is essential, yes.

Kate Beck  [00:24:05]:
She's joining the essential wagon.

Amber Stitt [00:24:09]:
Giddy up. But that's where, like I say, Kate, communication is the currency of life. Like if we don't have these networks, that's why pay attention to that friend that might want to connect you, that knows you, that person might be part of that other part of your life for later.

Kate Beck  [00:24:24]:
Absolutely, yes. Connection is the currency of life. I don't know why I'm being obtuse about this.

Amber Stitt [00:24:30]:
What are you being obtuse about?

Kate Beck  [00:24:31]:
Well, just I feel like I'm being really strict with my appointment for connections and even telling people "No" who want to work with me sometimes. Like yesterday I said no to someone and it's because the first time we met, I gave them an hour of my time and it was when they were getting ready to transition to Medicare. They didn't choose me as their initial broker. And now they're coming back and they're like, "Well, what about this other option?" And I said, "I recommended they go back to the person that they chose to work with," because I think that's fair.

Amber Stitt [00:24:59]:
That's fair.

Kate Beck  [00:25:00]:
Here's the thing. If you're going to come to my office and we don't jive enough for you to listen to my recommendation when I've been working in this field since 2009, or if you have my recommendation and then you go write it with someone else, that is your choice and I welcome you to do that. But if you come back to me 3 years later to have a, "Hey, how's it going?" Renewal conversation, then I'm going to say, "Sorry, you need to lean on the person that gave you very good advice." And I did say the person you chose to work with gave you great advice. The plan that you have is a great plan. And I'm not going to because it's the difference right now between Medicare supplement and Medicare Advantage plan. I would not necessarily recommend that someone change from a Medicare Supplement to a Medicare Advantage because there are some happenings right now in the market, and Medicare Supplement is not guarantee issue all the time, only when you're first eligible. So I'm not going to encourage people to start thinking, let me save a couple bucks, unless you absolutely can't afford that premium.

Kate Beck  [00:25:57]:
So that's a whole other conversation. But the bottom line is I'm becoming more guarded about my appointments. And I used to be...well, I guess I am a recovering "yes, please me" personality. And so instead of saying "yes" all the time, I'm pausing to say, "Okay, is this going to work? Is this going to be mutually beneficial? Is there something I can do to help, or is there something they can do to help me?" And if it's not clear, then I'm going to ask more clarifying questions. But if we get to the third round of communications and we can't find a place to connect, that's where I'm kind of like, "Well, maybe next year we can connect, or at a party in the future." And that's where I'm just going to be like, if our calendars don't align, they don't align and be okay with it. And that's the hard part.

Kate Beck  [00:26:41]:
Let it go. Just let it go.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:26:44]:
I would reframe it. I don't think you're being guarded. I think you're being clear on what you want and when a prospective client's a good fit and when they're not, and when we enter into those relationships, even when we have the thought this is probably not a good fit, it usually doesn't end well anyway.

Kate Beck  [00:26:59]:
Yeah.

Amber Stitt [00:27:00]:
Yeah, you're right.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:27:00]:
I'm sure you've seen that, right?

Kate Beck  [00:27:02]:
That's, you know, that's true. That's true.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:27:04]:
So trust. Trust that you know.

Kate Beck  [00:27:07]:
Yes.

Amber Stitt [00:27:08]:
Midlife boosts. You're talking about that. And it's interesting you're asking Kate and I, "What do you think about the calendar, or time?" Kate and I have only seen each other a few times in real life. And some of these friendships can truly be through, not always like online conversations, but Kate, how many times are we texting, talking and doing a project and just going into that Timeless mode? You know, what I would want you to define, what do you think with either clients, or what you've learned over time, what being timeless is? Because with these friendships, there's no excuses anymore. We can use organizations, or friend groups, or the meetups that Kate talked about. But you can find your tribe, I think, anywhere to fill that cup, whether it's in-person, 20 minutes for the introverts, like, that's true.

Amber Stitt [00:27:55]:
So I just feel like that can go on forever to the end of time is really that communication with people I know that's part of the work is to really help those executives find that for themselves. So they do have longevity and that resilience. So if you're thinking whether it's personal or business, you know, for someone to be timeless using some of your steps, how do you maybe give someone a takeaway to apply, just today.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:28:21]:
I have been spending more and more time in the mindfulness space in meditation, and I also practice martial arts. And so as part of that, you have to be present in the moment, or you're going to get punched in the face.

Amber Stitt [00:28:35]:
Literally.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:28:35]:
You have to be there. You have to be fully present when you're doing the pushups on the switchbacks, or what have you. And so I think with additional mindfulness and that kind of like laser focus on what's important, what are the priorities for my life, friendships, business outcomes, just values and what I prioritize in this life, when we focus on those things and what's essential and get rid of the clutter and the noise and say no to what's not, that does give us a sense of timelessness and peace. So that's some of the nice outputs of that kind of approach to living and being in the present moment.

Kate Beck  [00:29:12]:
Well, thank you. This has been such a "Timeless Vitality" conversation. I feel inspired and the resilience is on its way and I just love it. Thank you very much for joining us.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:29:24]:
Thank you so much for having me.

Amber Stitt [00:29:25]:
Okay, so how can people find you to work with you? Because I've met you on LinkedIn and through Kate. Can you tell the audience where they can find you?

Kirsten Meneghello [00:29:33]:
Absolutely. I'm on many platforms. The first is my own coaching website, which is www.IlluminationCoaching.com and you can always, of course, schedule a complimentary intro, chemistry session to see if working together is a good fit. In addition, I'm on LinkedIn both personally, Kirsten Meneghello and Illumination Coaching. I've got a YouTube channel where I've got a series of videos, "Get Curious with Kirsten", which are a number of leadership tips along the "Essentialism" lines. And I'm also on Instagram and Facebook, as well under Illumination Coaching.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:30:05]:
So check it out. Reach out if you have any questions, or would like to have a conversation.

Kate Beck  [00:30:10]:
Thank you! Be timeless!

Amber Stitt [00:30:12]:
Thank you so much for being here. So fun to hang out with you.

Kirsten Meneghello [00:30:16]:
Thank you.

Kate Beck  [00:30:16]:
Thank you for joining us on the Timeless Vitality podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you to embrace the journey of thriving well beyond 100.

Amber Stitt [00:30:26]:
Remember, your story is still unfolding and every step you take adds to the timeless legacy you are creating. Until next time, stay vibrant, stay empowered, and continue living with purpose.

Kate Beck  [00:30:38]:
We'll see you on the next episode!