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The Fandom Portals Podcast
Fandom Portals is a film analysis podcast that proves your favourite movies have something to teach you.
Each episode explores the deeper meaning behind popular films and what they reveal about identity, growth, and human connection.
The Fandom Portals Podcast
Jingle All the Way (1996) Time Over Toys and Parenting Through the Holidays | Christmas Special
Summary
Aaron and Brasher discuss the 1996 Christmas film 'Jingle All the Way,' exploring its themes of consumerism, parenting, and the emotional dynamics between characters. They analyze the satirical elements of the film, particularly how it critiques the commercialization of Christmas and the pressures faced by parents. The conversation delves into the character of Howard Langstrom, his relationship with his son, and the often-overlooked role of the mother. Aaron and Brasher emphasize the importance of time spent with children over material gifts, and reflect on how the film's messages resonate in today's society.
Takeaways
Consistent presence is more important than grand gestures.
The film critiques consumerism during the holiday season.
Howard Langstrom represents the struggle of modern parenting.
The mother’s emotional labor is often overlooked in the film.
Satire is used to highlight societal issues around Christmas.
Character dynamics reflect common tropes in family films.
Consumer guilt is weaponized during the holiday season.
The film's humor contrasts with its serious themes.
Time spent with children is more valuable than material gifts.
The film's ending lacks character growth and resolution.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Jingle All the Way
01:29 Film Synopsis and Themes
04:11 Satire and Consumerism in Christmas Movies
06:29 Character Dynamics and 90s Tropes
09:56 Parenting and Presence vs. Materialism
13:50 Modern Relevance of Jingle All the Way
17:35 Consumer Guilt and Marketing Tactics
22:26 Cultural Commentary on Christmas Consumerism
28:23 Quality Over Quantity in Parenting
30:46 The Emotional Labor of Parenting
32:32 Male Role Models and Redemption
34:21 The Performative Nature of Fatherhood
37:17 Casting Choices and Audience Alignment
39:58 The Dark Humor of Parenting
46:39 Lessons Unlearned in Holiday Films
Keywords
Jingle All the Way, Christmas movie, parenting, consumerism, satire, Arnold Schwarzenegger, family dynamics, holiday films, emotional connection, marketing tactics
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Didn't a little delay a fun Christmas comedy or a warning about replacing time with toys. Welcome to the Phantom Portals, the podcast that proves your favorite films have something to teach you. I'm Aaron, a teacher and a lifelong film fan, and today I'm here with my co-host Brash. This week we have been looking at the movie Jingle All the Way. It was made in 1996, and this one is part of our Christmas special episode. Merry Christmas, everybody. Christmas. Yeah. And this one was actually voted in by you guys, our community. It beat out titles such as I'll Be Home for Christmas. It beat out Rise of the Guardians. It beat out Christmas Chronicle. And it also beat out Klaus. So you guys voted for this one, and you guys surprise us with your votes all the time. It's never the one that we could predict. Hey, Brash.
SPEAKER_02:No. No, I really didn't think this one was going to make it at all.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. I know it's got like a bit of a cult following, or not really a cult following, but it's like a a niche Christmas movie. But, you know, there's the ones that stand out that are your must-watches, like everyone watches The Grinch and everyone does Home Alone almost every year. So I think like this one came out of a bit of a left field. So all our suggestions also came from our community as well. So yeah, here we go. Jingle all the way. So yeah, without any further ado, Brash, do you want to give us a film synopsis of Jingle All the Way starring Arnold Schwarzenegger?
SPEAKER_02:So Jingle all the way. Parenting by credit card, capitalism by flamethrower. Howard Langstrom is the kind of dad who thinks showing up is optional. As long as the receipt is impressive. He misses Kafari class, birthdays, and basic human connection. But don't worry, he promises his son Jamie the hottest toy on earth. Turbo Man, a plastic deity forged in the fires of late-stage capitalism. Naturally, Howard waits until Christmas Eve to buy it because playing is for people who actually raise their kids. He then discovers Turbo Man is sold out everywhere, launching him into a festive dystopia where moles become war zones, grown adults commit felonies over dolls, and corporations quietly smile because artificial scarcity is their love language. Enter Ted, a single dad neighbor, part baked goods enthusiast, part emotional vulture. While Howard is gone all day, again, Ted spends his entire movie aggressively orbiting Howard's wife like a suburban shark. He fixes things, bakes cookies, compliments her constantly, and subtly suggests that if someone were around more, she wouldn't be so stressed. Ted doesn't want Turbo Man, Ted wants Howard's wife. Meanwhile, Howard gets arrested for toy crimes, is hunted by police, and a postal worker who's snapped under consumer pressure. Causes multiple car accidents and loses all dignity. All while insisting this is for his son. A child learning that love equals products and dad only appears during retail emergencies. The movie ends with Howard accidentally becoming Turbo Man himself in a parade because in this universe the only way to be a good father is to literally become the brand. Jamie finally loves him. Not for emotional growth, but because Dai can now fly and shoot discs. Moral of the story is not to be emotionally present, not to be not to respect your partner, and let capitalism nearly kill you while a horny neighbor tries to steal your wife. A heartwarming class Christmas classic that boldly asks, what if bad parenting, but make it festive and aggressively commercial?
SPEAKER_01:See, I think that is a really awesome synopsis. And the like at the start of that, when you were describing this movie in your way, I was like, that actually sounds like a good movie. But this one, like somebody on our threads, they're named the real Mike Gilberts and they said worst period Christmas movie period ever. And, you know, it does not scream like holiday season in terms of you know how most Christmas movies show you that like warm and festive sort of message. This is not that. So if you're coming for a Christmas movie that has those kind of vibes, this is definitely not the one. But our takeaway for this one, Brad, was that consistently showing up matters more than last-minute gestures because connection is built through time and not through things.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And like at the end, he sort of nods to the fact that he's going to do that, but at no point do you really like see it.
SPEAKER_01:Promises the world and says, I will never do it again. I don't know if that's true.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah. They need to make a um jingle all the way to where he's actually followed through what I promise him.
SPEAKER_01:But I think it's important to note for this movie as well that obviously we are looking at this through through time being more important for parents to consider than than than things, but we do acknowledge that this movie is obviously satire.
SPEAKER_02:Like this is and to be honest, like I did enjoy watching this movie. Like it was it was fun. Like the m well like if you don't think about any messaging in this movie and just take it for what it is, it's just a fun movie of a dude running around town trying to get a doll.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it is chaotic. It is fun. It is like um, let's say it's like the not the prequel, let's say it's the the gateway drug into like uncut gens in terms of an anxious movie watch.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, so this is like satire, which means it's it's it can be humorous or it can be non-humorous, but it's also a way that people like a vehicle that is artistic sometimes, not really in this case, but yeah, it's artistic in the fact that it illuminates or explores or critiques like a social condition or a system of power. And in this case, it was obviously the marketing hysteria that surrounded Christmas at the time. So and they use the character of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Howard Langstrom as the the person that was the victim of that, you could say. Because I think, yeah, we're gonna talk about a few things in this episode, including like consistency versing spectacle when it comes to to fatherhood and parenting, and then we're also gonna talk about consumer guilt and how people weaponize that, especially during Christmas time. And we're also, I want to actually talk a lot about the mother here as well, because I think her emotional presence is really overlooked throughout the movie. She's there always for this young man, and he's like obviously Arnold gets the starring point of the show because he's Turbo Man, but I think she does a good job too. But then also, there were some familiar 90s character tropes in this movie that I want to discuss, and we might touch on that first, actually, because Brash, when I was watching this movie, I was so like, I feel like I'd known these characters, and I feel like they did that on purpose. And the character tropes and the characters that they're actually portraying being Howard Langstrom and Ted, you know, they're neighbours of each other. One is a bumbling father who means well but always seems to fall on his face, and the other one is their well-to-do neighbor that everybody in the community seems to be feeling like like well-to-do enamored with and are enamored with, yeah. So I feel like I've seen that dynamic before, especially during the 90s when this was made in 1996. Like it screams The Simpsons to me. Did you get that as well? So think about it. Because if you've got like Howard as Arnold Schwarzenegger being Homer, and then you've got this guy, Ted, Ned Flanders, and I think there was also a point in the movie where I saw him wearing like a green sweater and he's got the glasses too. I'm like, this is literally Ned Flanders. Like he's always around, he's imposing his he's like being the better dad and the community favorite. And you know, later it's revealed that obviously Ted is overcorrecting for it for a divorce confession that he's had. But I think, yeah, familiar characters for me.
SPEAKER_02:One thing I do like about these Christmas movies though is that they're all fairly unique compared to nowadays. Like nowadays, Netflix will pump out like five to eight Christmas movies, and they're all just the same plot, just different uh locations.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, that is very true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So I I do I do like the fact that yeah, that these movies try to do something different. And as we said earlier with the satire, if you watch it that way, it is like uh a warning against sort of these things like uh like to not to get your presence early to save on trying to buddy hustle and bustle and trying to run around and uh navigate through shopping and navigate through all the crowds of people and uh problems that that causes. Also with the neglecting of children and stuff like that, like the whole moral of the story is that the kid realistically doesn't care about like but then again, I feel Jamie is a lot mature than some children. I mean this movie. Yeah, not to say that ch well, not to say that all children are shit heads, but like I know when I was a little kid, when I was like five when I was like six, seven, I know that on my birthday, I know I I could have been a little greedy little shit too. Uh it's yeah, it it's it's like shows that I'm just being present and uh like being a party of a child's life is more important than toys. Because like honestly, this could have all been solved by him just being like got to get to the toy before it's sold out. I'll get you one. I'll just have to wait until they're back in stock again. For now, let's just uh hang out for the day, play catch, yeah, go to this parade, bake cookies, roll credits like that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I definitely think that's that's that's something that came into my head too, because he could have solved this all by telling the truth, for one. For two, I can I can see why Jamie wanted this toy so badly because when I first watched this as a kid, I also wanted a Turbo Man toy, and Thomas Craig on our threads said the same because I always wanted that toy for Christmas too. So I can see where the the attraction comes, but I do agree with what you said about Jamie because at the end, I wrote a note here that said he's probably the most like emotionally sort of correct character when it comes to the spirit of Christmas in this movie because everybody's falling into this consumer marketing trap, but the kid's the one that goes, you know what, Christmas is about giving, let's give it to this guy that's just been villainous to everybody, gives him the Turbo Man special limited edition toy, and basically just says, you know, I've got the real Turbo Man here, which is my dad anyway. So you can see that he truly just wanted some time, and the toy was just not really an issue for him. So the honesty probably would have gone wonders. But I think that's also apparent at the start of the movie because the first time that we see Howard actually letting his son down, we will say, is obviously during the Missed Karate tournament scene, and he's you know, he's he's at his workplace and he's answering all the phone calls the same way, and he says, You're my best customer, you're my favorite customer, and he's really just collecting the numbers instead of creating those personal relationships. So it's a real blatant way for us to say this guy cares about his job and not really about the personal connections he's making along the way. And then everybody's warning him, saying, You said that last time, holding up the cards, which is a classic trope from another Christmas movie that we all know and love.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And yeah, you know, you'll be late, you have to leave now, and he's just pushing it, pushing it, pushing it until you finally see obviously he walks into the auditorium, it's completely empty, and he goes home and he's with his tail between his legs. And he faces his wife and he's full of excuses to start with, but then one he does actually make a genuine apology to Jamie. He does say that he's sorry. Because I think overall, Howard doesn't fail because he doesn't care, he fails because he believes that like big gestures will replace showing up in the long run. So the big promise that he gives him is like, I'll get you a turbo, man, this is gonna be great, and we'll have lots of awesome time playing with it together, instead of like a genuine kind of apology and saying, I stuffed up and I'm gonna change my ways in the long run. So yeah, it makes a spectacle out of growth, but the real connection is real connection with with kids is built quietly and repeatedly and on purpose across time. And I think that was something that I took from this movie because yeah, I didn't really think that Howard was a was a deadbeat kind of father. Like I really did see that he loved his son.
SPEAKER_02:And the thing is, I reckon this movie probably hits hard like hits harder nowadays with the cost of living as it is currently. People have to focus on their just focus on work and work and work and work purely just to be able to afford the basic needs that needed to live. So the fact that like I can understand uh his need to like just want to work and work and work so he can get that money so he can give his family what they like whatever they want. Um and and like that does come with sacrifices, unfortunately. Um like but I think like back in that, those days, uh the cost of living wasn't so bad. So him just working, working, working really had no other consequence than just making more money, which I suppose is never a bad thing, but that that he does neglect his family when realistically he didn't need to. But having like a move like this come out now, I think would hit harder with the whole like I think more outside would be more understanding of power's position and be like, yeah, that's what we can do. We are we are working constantly 24-7. The only way we can make up with that is by using that money that we work so hard for to make a big gesture at one point in time, to be like, oh, so we want you so much, but here's something to like to show that I really care and I've been thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I can I can agree with that man, especially because in this day and age, like modern dads, for example, me, myself being one, I'm only speaking for myself here, but I'm sure there are others out there that can resonate. Like, I'm constantly dealing with this guilt of like if they if I spend a lot of time at work, I'm providing for my family, which is what my role is as a as a father and a parent and a and a husband in a house. But then at the same time, because I'm working, you don't get time with me. So you have to really strike that balance. And when that balance gets out or or misaligned, it can force people to to do these grand gestures that Howard does at the end of this movie or to like overpromise on occasion as well. Because the last thing any dad wants to see is their kid being let down, especially when it's by them. So like this time scarcity that everybody has is a result of the pressure that everybody's feeling to to work more. And you know, it's it's a double-edged sword now these days, too, because when we're talking about even mothers these days, sometimes two income households, like parents are finding it hard to find time with their kids. And I feel like this movie would resonate more now, looking at the cost of living in through that lens than it did back then. Because, like, if you look at where they live, for example, Howard's house is pretty pristine, like it's a good-looking house made of brick in a terraced sort of estate. Obviously, they're they're they're well to do. I don't think I saw that the wife Liz had like a job of any kind that I could remember, but they're in very sort of traditional kind of roles in that space. But you know, this day and age, that is not really the norm for families to be.
SPEAKER_02:Usually you've got both parents working just to make sure they can pay for everything. Because they're chuck, you know, well, you you know more than I do because you have children I don't, but um, they're expensive.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. Yeah, they are a definite pit for money to go to.
SPEAKER_02:I have kids that have both parents working and because they like they tell me how much their daycare for a week costs.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah, it is it is definitely a battle because then you're obviously picking like daycare so you can both work, but then you're balancing the the finances there as well. So it it's hard, man. It's very hard. And I I didn't feel that way when I was watching this because I did see it a little bit from Howard's perspective. Whereas if I was watching this as a kid, which I have done, I was like, man, I hope that dad gets him that toy, because that would be awesome. Like that's what you think about when you kind of watch it. But yeah, I could definitely see the panic in Howard's eyes, in in Arnold Schwarzenegger's eyes, as he was failing his son, sort of like time and time again, and just really desperate to make that grand gesture to actually pull through on Christmas and you know not let his son down. But you know, Jamie is like that emotional mirror in this case because he he does kind of lower his expectations to protect the connection that he has with his his dad, like and he accepts responsibility and effort and and accountability when it really shouldn't have been his accountability to take, like when they're fighting on the phone.
SPEAKER_02:On fighting on the phone, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. So obviously that was him soaking up that emotional responsibility that obviously Howard should have should have sort of focused on. But again, it goes back to the fact that Jamie was probably the one who's embodying the spirit of Christmas and good spirit more so than Yeah, even after like when he's on the phone, he's like he like he no mention of any toys or anything like that.
SPEAKER_02:He's just well, he's like, I want you home so you can come to the parade.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:As anything you ask for. Yep. And Dad's like, but I have to run around and get this toy for you when he could just be like, yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_01:Go to the parade. Yeah. Like he missed the point on that part, yeah. And you know, some people would be tearing their hair out at that point as well. But I think he was just so deep in the struggle of wanting to get the toy. Because, you know, let's move on to talk about like consumer guilt and marketing being weaponized, because even in this movie, they s they make a satire of it. You can see it through the character of Myron and the post office character because he sits in that dino with Howard after he's failed a few times, and he says, You know why I hate Christmas is because my dad didn't get me this toy that one time. And then, you know, it goes down that rabbit hole of Howard actually envisioning his son in Myron's uniform drinking from the bottle, and he's the cautionary tale that he doesn't want to repeat. So he has to get this Turbo Man toy for his son. But like that, like things like this actually happened in the in the 80s and the 90s. So marketing companies with cabbage patch kids is one that I looked up, where they initially launched in 1983 and they sold for like$25 apiece, but because they limited their stock and re and and sold them out so quickly, demand vastly exceeded the supply. So people were reselling these dolls for$100 to$500. And then the news outlets at the time were marketing it and making it even worse because they were showing people like fighting in stores, showing physical aggression. There was people in hospitals, and then also stores were including these ticketing systems to purchase items on a limited basis, but also to like control the crowds, as we saw in this movie too, with the lottery system with the bulls, which was probably my favorite scene, by the way, just because of how much mayhem was occurring throughout the world.
SPEAKER_02:Everyone just went apeshit and yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. But it it's not uncommon because these marketing companies and even the toy retailers, like cabbage patch kids, for example, they were sold with like adoption papers. So it's like this emotional responsibility is coupled with the toy, and you know, the kid had to get the toy because all the ads told the parents that they had to get it, and the toy equaled love, especially during this sort of time of year. And then coincidentally, I also read that when this movie came out, when they're pretty much like taken the piss out of people doing this at shops in 1983, it happened the same year this movie came out in 1996 with a tickle me elmo doll. Like over five million units were sold, and it was deliberately under-supplied for release. So it would create this widespread increasing panic, and like national programs were were all on it, and there would be news stories on a nightly basis that would say, like, this is where the Elmo shortage is at at this minute. So it's like it's so weaponized to the point where this corporate marketing is just it's so indoctrinating for everybody and all these families, especially this time of year, because the culture exploits these working parents and it turns that parental guilt into competition between other parents that are trying to do the same thing as you. But then framing love as something that can be proven and driven by purchase. So it's it's definitely satiring that really, really well. But I found it really interesting that it was satiring something and then that very same year deciding that they were satiring. So yeah, it just goes to show scarcity, object scarcity is something that they're doing through like laboobus and things like that now, too.
SPEAKER_02:I was gonna say laboo boos are like the new sort of cage patch kids. Yeah. Like even South Park did a um labos were Like one of the new um show like new episodes of Seth Park was all about laboo boos. And how like if you get the special like one of the special edition laboo-boos, you can do like a blood ritual. Oh my god. Stop and Christmas and shit. It was like but uh it was all about yeah, the boo boos and you're like trying to get like the most most rare ones. I think luckily lucky for us nowadays because it's so easy to get your hands on things through online and like no one really has to go into the stores to really get things anymore. You can just order online and have it delivered to you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Also, also in terms of like advertising, I think in the 90s it was a lot easier for advertisers to get their product in front of people. Yeah, and now because of streaming, obviously we see a few ads here and there, but you can pay to remove those ads. I don't think I've seen a proper ad for a really long time, except for obviously signage when you're driving around. But I think it was very much part of the zeitgeist back then, as you know, you saw the the film or the the the advertisement and it was replayed over and over and over again. Like you remember those old 90s action figure commercials? Like they were so cool to watch, and I actually miss watching them sometimes because they were really, really cool. But you don't see anything like that really anymore, at least in Australia. I'm not sure what it's like in other countries because obviously you don't watch TV in other countries, but in Australia, it's very difficult to see ads on anything other than like gambling or fast food. This movie especially real relies on that Christmas pressure cooker, and obviously the in this case it's the working fathers, but in in time it's been working parents because there's that time guilt which already exists, but it's also like it's time to make up for the year that you obviously have been working all this time. And you know, I I do, as we said before, I do sympathize with with working parents in this space, and I think it's really hard time of year for a lot of people as well. So just going back before we move on as well, on that like being there consistently for your kids is better than like one grand gesture and things like that. You know, I think an unpopular opinion that you might say around this sort of aspect is obviously you have to kind of it goes back to putting your own oxygen mask on first. If you're like tapped out, or if you really feeling the pressure in these kinds of situations of consistently like showing up for your kids, there is obviously that guilt that you have to be able to do and provide everything that you can. But there is also a lot to say about being able to, you know, take five, ten minutes when you need to, go and find a space or do something, or if you can like ask your partner or whoever to to have the children for that moment. But obviously showing up is is good, but you have to be ready and able emotionally to show up as well. So obviously Howard's going through a lot of stress at this time, but also you know, there is that that part that we kind of have to look at as well. Whereas there is that pressure to be there, and you know, time is better than than toys. Yes, absolutely, but make sure that time is spent quality instead of quantity, yeah. So I I actually was speaking to somebody about this when I was having some trouble with it. And because I used to work away, and when I'd come back, I'd only have an hour or so in the afternoon to spend with my kids, and it was really getting me down that I was unable to do that and I was feeling that that guilt and that pressure. But one thing that this person said to me was it's not about if you have three hours with your kids, it's if you have one hour or ten minutes or 30 minutes with your kid, and that actually just is time with your kid, you know? So it's not about the amount, it's about the quality, which I think is important for people to to understand and know, and also like be easy on yourself because most parents that I know are probably doing way better than they give themselves credit for. So 100%. Especially this time of year. It's very hard for a lot of people.
SPEAKER_02:So acknowledging that even like I've got single parent friends that just I I don't know how they do it. Like they impress me every day about like they'd be able to keep it together. Like, I don't know, I don't know how I go in there shoes. Yeah, no, it's definitely like any time is better than no time and quality time, like doing something like you know, like even even like you're like, I've got 20 minutes, going to Kim, like and you mean saying like what do you want to do? And then just taking whatever they say and just running with it. Yeah, just absolutely how long you can just doing what they want to do, and then at the end they're probably gonna be like, Oh no, can we go 10 more minutes, five minutes? And you're like, I wish yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And you know, my kids are at an age now where they just really want to just do whatever you're doing. So yeah, and I I think there is an age bracket where this is probably appropriate and applies, but even if you find yourself like short on time or like the day's running away from you if you've got all these shorts to do, like there is nothing my son likes to do more than hang out or washing. Like, I don't know where he got that from, but like it's not you you could say that it's quality time because we do that together and we talk and it's a job that we're sort of doing side by side. But is it a big grand gesture? Am I wearing a turbo man suit? No. So it's it's looking at those little things that you do in the everyday that provides that connection. And yes, those big gestures are good every now and then because it's great to have those memories as a as a family, but also like you will look back one day and remember the times when you hung out the washing or planted that that tree in the garden or watered the lawn or he swept the the clippings off the driveway while you mowed the grass. Like that's not big stuff, but it's still that quality and it's still what we're talking about here in terms of consistency versus the spectacle of of parenting. So, and also over the big massive gift that you can get. And you know, nothing wrong with that if that's what you want to do. But yeah, I just I really want people to sort of know and understand that sometimes that's good enough is good enough, as I've said before. And we're often our own harshest critic. So with us on this, do you want to start looking at Liz was the character's name in this movie Jingle all the way? Like the the emotional labour of the mother in this case, where she's sort of always there, she's that constant presence. I think Ted is definitely framed as the better male role model, but his presence so creepy, so creepy, so creepy. And it's also very performative. What he's doing is very performative. So you can see that he's obviously there helping all of the ladies who require a handyman around the house. And that was very obviously satired in the movie at the start in the karate scene as well. And then, you know, him being on the roof fixing the Christmas lights for Howard when he got home is just like an invasion as well of you know, time and and in your your sort of space there. But he's he was definitely a bit of a like overcorrector, and he's seeking these validating behaviours because he had that that divorce, and it's revealed through the kid, he's just like he's been great ever since we had the divorce. Like yeah, and I think that's you know, he's he's also self-focused, like Howard is self-focused in terms of his job, but Ted is also pretty self-focused, but it's through a different lens. His lens is obviously through trying to appear or perform in front of the crowd as a well-to-do dad, but he's also doing massive gestures, like getting the reindeer, for example. Like, what is that all about? Like, he's overcompensating for that, but it's it's a lesson that both of them learn a little bit too late. And you know, Liz, the the mother in this situation, is sort of caught in the middle of both of these men. Yeah, and you know, has to deal with male bravado. In this movie as well, male redemption is prioritized because Arnold Howard Langstrom gets that Turbo Man moment where he accidentally fumbles into the suit and joins the parade, and then he's allowed to pick out his son from the crowd, completely rigging the system. And the whole time, like Liz is standing there with him having taken him to the parade, and she never gets her her kudos or her parade for taking him to the parade or the karate, but you know I think the only thing she gets is it Howard at the end going, I've taken both of you biographs for granted, and I won't that won't happen again, and that's it. Yeah, thumbs up. I'm sure you have not said that before, but yeah, um, I think her like her emotional labour in this movie is absolutely invisible because yeah, she always shows up for Jamie, she's always there remind also doing like the reminding of the household stuff, like Howard, did you pick up that toy that I asked you to like a week and a half ago? But yeah, I think that her constant presence is what the film fails to value in favour of obviously that like because the caregiving in this is obviously treated as expected, but yeah, I think that Arnold's redemption through this movie is is foregrounded through his turboman gesture.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and even Liz, like when Ted is always subtly trying to shit on Howard, like all the way through the movie, she's always like propping him up and trying to like defend him the whole way through, up until the scene where he's trying to steal the present from on each that tree.
SPEAKER_01:Too far that one, yeah. You can't defend that. Sorry.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so the whole way through though, she he was she was just defending him, defending him, defending him, uh, all the while, like all things she's defending him for, he's like currently doing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and kudos to her as well, because you know, when the chips were down, he's obviously let her down heaps, and like Ted saw that as his opportunity to like swoop in and and take what he was really doing all this performative stuff for, obviously being Howard's wife. She was just like, no, and continued to go about her her business as as she does. So yeah, I I like that aspect of this movie where they didn't make the the mother sort of fall into those sort of patterns. I think Liz Langstrom was a very strong character too.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I think I I do love is when Ted is putting the start up on the tree. In that scene, you see Liz come in and she's visibly angry, and then straight away it cussed her outside to Howard looking into the window, and there she is, and she looks like she's laughing and smiling. How'd she get to that point when she came in visibly angry about him putting up a star? And then maybe she was laughing and laughing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, maybe from the back that's what it kind of looked like, a lot of flailing around that could be mistaken as doing it like both ways.
SPEAKER_02:No, no, like I I made sure I've like stopped and looked at it. Yeah, she was like in that, like looking at they I think they were directed to look like a happy sort of uh scene of like say like PM and P Pan's looking through window Wendy's window and sees the thing happy and jovial. That's like the sort of thing that they sort of think like he's meant to be looking through and sees Liz happy and Ted happy and uh like sort of Ted stealing his life sort of thing. Uh which also helps him tip him over the edge. But yeah, so I thought I thought that was funny because that goes from like a scene where she's angry and then cuts and she's like all happy and jovial.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And then cuts back in again, then she's just sort of reprimanding him.
SPEAKER_01:No, I I think that's definitely a point too, because one of the reasons that this movie kind of works is because they did cast Arnold Schwarzenegger in that title role, because you've probably seen it a few times now where the big burly actor goes and does like a kid-friendly or family sort of role. And this was coming off the back of like kindergarten cop and things like that, and he was kind of starting to change his trajectory into the kinds of movies that he was doing. So I think that that star power really changes the audience's alignment because if you look at what Howard Langstrom's doing, he's he's like a buffoon, really. He's jealous, he's inattentive to his family, but still a lot of the people watching this movie would would root for him and want him to get that toy and want him to be successful. Whereas a lot of the people watching seeing Ted being, you know, in quote marks, sincere and doing all of these actions that do appear to be what Ted should be doing. Like he's obviously foregrounded as like the villain, in quote marks, as well. So coming in and being the being the home wrecker.
SPEAKER_02:Also how he how he plays it too. So if they had Ted and he wasn't uh played off so creepily and played off more sincere, people would probably more brute for Ted being the good guy, but because I can't know who that was, he's Ted Phil Hartmann. Yeah, Phil Hartman. The way he plays it is like spot on, like from the very get-go, the way he just the way he talks. It's slime, isn't it? Slimy, very slimy, and like strawberry, you know, yeah, that's a bad guy. But what if you had a played that sincere, then I'll like I'll be like hey man, coward, uh take notes. This is how you should be acting. Yeah, um yeah, because he comes off slimy, you know, like he has ulterior motives. Absolutely. I wouldn't actually mind mind if at the very start he was uh played it very sincere, and it was very sincere, normal. And then so you're sort of like yeah, why are you more like Ted? And then as the story progressed, you get slimier and slimier, and you're like, Yes, there it is. There it is, there's the villain coming out of the shadows, yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah, I actually think that like Arnold's casting was pretty important in terms of getting the audience on side because he's obviously him him being in a physical sort of comedy space is entertaining and fun to watch, and his frustration becomes like slapstick in that space, and it doesn't become something that the audiences are looking at and saying, like, his his flaws are really detrimental to the point where you hate the character. Like it's it's actually and I think the the Homer Simpson trope where we were talking about how Howard is sort of the bumbling, unassuming father that is trying his best but fails anyway, is and the the alignment with that, especially in the 90s, was a really big emotional shortcut for these filmmakers to do because you're familiar with Homer and you like Homer. So you'll like Howard, who is exactly the same.
SPEAKER_02:So those are I love how they so because like Ted is the first one to sort of push it out. He's like, Oh, I must you can't muscle your way out of this one. Um bench press your way out of this one. Blah blah blah. Suggesting that he is a big strong guy. But realistically, nowhere, like nowhere at the start of this movie or anything like that does it show him like uh taking phone calls like at the gym or anything, like showing that he's uh spends time actually working out. He's just a big dude apparently. Um because it like would it wouldn't pay off at the end. And um I think in a way, to like the point you're saying, uh he was a very good casting because the clothes he wore were really baggy, if you noticed, and it's to make him sort of hide his bulk.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, moving away from that action movie audience uh sort of appeal, but also like nodding to the parents or the people in the audience that know that's where he's come from with that bench pressing comment that you mentioned earlier.
SPEAKER_02:So he was a big dude, but he sort of hides it with his clothes, so he doesn't really appear. So like him like if he was walking around like a tank top like he did in Predator, like you wouldn't really believe that he's some corporate dick.
SPEAKER_01:Well, that that parade scene was probably as a kid watching that, it was really the best part because obviously his dad turns into the superhero, and he does kind of play off on that that stereotype and that motif of every young boy thinks that his dad's his his biggest hero. So it it plays off on that, and at the end he actually says that, you know, it's like I've got the real turbo man right here.
SPEAKER_02:So I think also I thought it was a bit weird. I'm like, I've got the real turbo man here, and like, hey, your dad turned up late to the parade.
SPEAKER_01:Well, that's the thing. Do you think he would have admitted that he did that by accident, or do you think he would have been like, Yes, I planned this all along? The reason I couldn't come to the parade with you, son, is because I played I was here to save the day. I was here to put you in mortal danger.
SPEAKER_02:Because uh because that James Harris R was like, Oh, but real serious man, oh real happy ending. But I was like looking at uh when I was looking at I was like, what concluded he? What was the conclusion?
SPEAKER_01:That's exactly why I thought this movie was pretty atrocious, because in the end, nothing really concluded to the point where the character learnt any kind of lesson.
SPEAKER_02:Like he he basically he didn't demonstrate any lessons, like he just flew around in a suit to stuff that I mean are physically impossible, but I thought he was so being stupid by like flying into walls and stuff and basically screaming up while his kid's in danger climbing across rooftops, uh and only at the last second when he's falling does he catch him. Like at no point is there like uh the whole point of the story is the fact that he needs to be around his family more. At no point does it show that sort of progression.
SPEAKER_01:No, except for that that thinly veiled sentence he says at the end where he's like, I'll never.
SPEAKER_02:And I think for me show it, we didn't see it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and you know what? His like throughout the whole movie as well, there's this thing that happens with with like anti-heroes as well, but also in this movie, where the cause that the hero has, in this case getting the Turbo Mandol for his son, in in the space where the hero goes from A to B to achieve that goal, he can't do anything to turn the audience off of him in terms of him being a hero. So through this movie, Howard like breaks many laws, he commits lots of crimes, he like blows up police officers, aides and a better radio bombing. Well, yeah, Aides and a bet's in the explosion with the post office.
SPEAKER_02:Which I thought was very dark, like a dark scene. Because he's like, people do this, people people do this all the time. Oh, people do this all the time. If I was watching that movie back then and people do this all the time, I'd be like, Am I gonna get a bomb passed on a mail?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I actually forgot that this this scene sort of happened in the movie when I watched it this second time now. But when he was running away after the police officer was holding the bomb there, I was like, surely that's not gonna explode. And then it does, like it explodes in the building. And I'm like, wow, this is a like 1996 comedy. That is that has not aged well in terms of anything like that. And you probably couldn't get away with it in a family-friendly PG movie nowadays. That is not a thing that could fly.
SPEAKER_02:But you know even though they do the whole Lunatics thing where they go back and he's just like covering soot.
SPEAKER_01:Watching Christmas movies in the last few weeks of school, you have to be really careful what kind of PG movies you put on because the kids even know as well. You'll say, We we have to put on a G movie, you know. But yeah, they will say, Is this 90s PG? And I was like, What do you mean by that? And it's because 90s PG obviously can get away with it a little bit more. It's a very much a 90s PG movie, same as like Home Alone. Like a lot of the violence in that movie, that's a PG movie, a Christmas movie as well. Yeah, yeah. And that just goes to show as well, because those Looney Tunes cartoons have changed dramatically across the years, like from how they were in the 90s to how they are right now. And I think, you know, in the end, what I would have liked to see to improve my rating of this movie, we'll go into our ratings now, but I would have actually liked to see the father, Howard Langstrom, actually learn a lesson and come to a complete realization of our most valuable takeaway, which is obviously that time is what matters and not toys, and that consistent approach to his parenting is what the kid really wants. And because it was completely accidental and because he thinly veiled his change, and I just really can't get behind the movies. So for me, I rated it half a star. I didn't rate it very much at all. Like it was fun, and I, you know what, I think I'll bump that up to one star because it was fun, it was funny, but the character, the main character, just had no turnaround in the end. And yes, I get that it's satire and there's not supposed to be like a lesson that's supposed to be learned here in that particular sense, but I still like to see if that's the message they're going for, especially in a Christmas. Some some character growth. Yeah, they should at least have some character growth. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think for from a from a looking at like from a naive perspective, it was really good. From a two thousand perspective, it's uh less so it has deteriorated for me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. But I would agree. But like even like even if it had like a a This one sits at number 30 on our Fandom Portals on Aboard. And we have 32 movies on there so far. And this officially brings our 2025 Fandom Portals on Aboard to a close. Because next year we are going to be starting a brand new Fandom Portals on Aboard. Fresh start, new year, new us. So yeah, if you wanted to check out where some of our movies landed, we're going to be doing some social posts on it. So go and join our socials, which is at Fandom Portals Everywhere on Instagram and Threads is where we're most active. And you'll also see.
SPEAKER_02:Do you agree with us? Do you not agree with us? Would you something's higher or lower?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely. Because, you know, we take the average of both Brash and my votes for the Fandom Portals Honor Board, and that's where they they sit. So obviously you guys have a say as well. But yes, when we're looking at our honor board for next year, we'll be doing something similar. We might talk off air about how that might change, but we will also be doing an episode where we give away our fandos, which I'm renaming. This is the fandom portals. The fandom portals picks was what was last year when we picked our best hero, best villain, and then best movie of 2025. So we're going to call them the fandos now instead of the fando awards. So we'll yeah, we'll have a look at our honor board during that episode, and we'll also reveal our fandos, which is again voted on through our social media and by Brash and myself too. So with all that passed and out of the way, you probably won't hear for us for a couple of weeks, guys, but there's definitely a big back catalogue for you to investigate of uh movies that we've done through 2025. We want to thank everybody, whether this is your first episode or your 55th episode with us. You are all amazing people that have come to the Phantom Porters podcast. So thank you so much for that. And please make sure that you share this with a friend because it's the best thing that you can do for podcasters like us. Gets us out there. All right. My gratitude, brash, for this week, is those people that still put up Christmas lights on their house. If you're an international listener, I think you guys do this in America too, or wherever you're listening, but people put Christmas lights on their house and then people drive around and look at people's lights. It it was a dwindling thing in the early 2000s, but I think people are getting back into it now, which is good, and it really uplifts Christmas spirit, and it's something my kids love and enjoy, and we get in the car and we listen to Carols, and it's a great time. So thank you to all those people that put in the effort to light up your house. Appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02:My gratitude is all my friends, you and my neighbors, I don't know, because I I'm spending Christmas uh by choice, everyone. Don't get too sad. But I'm spending my Christmas alone. But I have had offers from yourself and others to say, hey, if you want to, you can come join us. Uh and I really, really appreciate that from all my friends. I think uh it's been a busy year for me this year, so I reckon a bit of uh relaxation and rest uh and just being able to just chill out and not have to worry about anything, I think is gonna do me some good. Especially since I am actually working over Christmas and New Year's.
SPEAKER_01:That time will be definitely well deserved, I think, Brash, because yes, you're a hard working person, so I hope you enjoy it. But yeah, always a phone call away, man, if you or you know, just drive and show up. You know where I live. All right, everybody, keep learning, keep growing, keep loving fandoms. We'll see you in the new year.
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