The Sacred Energy Exchanges of Motherhood

In this thought provoking episode of Mystic Mom, Krystie dives into the unseen, sacred energy exchanges that define early motherhood. From sleepless nights and skipped meals to missed workouts and transformed identities, this episode explores how mothers give—and give deeply—not out of obligation, but out of love. 

Through storytelling and soulful insight, Krystie reframes the exhaustion of the newborn and toddler years as a powerful rite of passage and a spiritual initiation. Learn how to embrace the slowdown, honor your sacrifices, and rediscover yourself in this chapter of beautiful, messy transformation.

Transcript

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You.

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Welcome to Mystic Mom, where we dive into the extraordinary spiritual bond between parent and child. I'm your host, Christy, and today's episode is all about the secret energy exchanges and motherhood.

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Entering into motherhood is one of the biggest transitions a woman goes through in this lifetime.

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All of a sudden, your life is no longer your own. Your focus and priority is your child.

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This goes with your energy as well.

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Your sleep, your thoughts, your time. Your day is now dictated by this little soul's needs. Especially early on

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particularly, you see this most intensely in the newborn phase. So let's start there.

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If we are to look at the newborn stage, two of the biggest energy exchanges are sleep and nutrition.

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Your newborn wakes you up throughout the night to feed or needing soothing.

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So you're asleep, gets interrupted and you attend to their needs. This is how it is supposed to be.

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But let's reframe it where we see this not in a resentful way, but in a beautiful, sacred energy exchange

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where you are attending to your child's needs at the expense of your own because they are worth it.

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We say all the time, I would take a bullet for my kids and I believe it.

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We willingly go through sleepless, exhausting nights

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for the love and care we have for these beautiful little children.

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I think it's actually set up this way

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to help moms transition,

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that they need to go through this sort of rite of passage where we are thrown in deep into sleepless nights breastfeeding, pumping, navigating, formula monitoring, diaper changes where we are so intensely thrown in

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as a way of preparing us for

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the rest of motherhood.

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We may skip our own meals to make sure that we're attending to our newborn.

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We miss out on our own sleep.

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We do this as a way of showing them that they are important,

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and that we will be there to take care of them.

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We are taught early on how much energy is required in motherhood.

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Everything else in our lives gets pushed down the totem pole to make room for this, and that is how it's supposed to be in this chapter.

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A great influencer that I follow, Lindsay Kirk, created this get Your Pink Back merchandise.

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It's a reference to how Flamingo moms lose their pink coloring in early motherhood because they are feeding their babies all the shrimp and fish and reducing how much they are eating. So if you see flamingos at the zoo and you see a flamingo that is not as vibrantly pink and maybe a little bit more white, it's most likely a new mom.

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Then as their babies get older and can feed themselves, the moms get their pink back. So the brand get your pink back is a reference to that in motherhood. How we lose our pink for a little bit as we're giving our sleep and food and energy to our children,

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but eventually we get it back as they become more independent.

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We can all lose our pink at times, and then we get it back when we are meant to.

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Certain parts of us can get pushed to the backburner for some time to make room for this motherhood journey,

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whether it's our fitness, career, hobbies, or even sleep.

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What helps is embracing this shift and seeing it as a rite of passage.

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When we cling to our pre mom life and robs us of this transformation.

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Yes, it is important to acknowledge, validate and grieve our premium experience. However, if we keep trying to force this chapter to look like our pre-COVID chapter in terms of productivity, rest, and independence,

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we will always feel discouraged.

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Before kids, I was able to wake up, go to A5A spin class, come home, meditate, journal, shower and eat breakfast or before 8 a.m..

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Once my little ones joined me, this was impossible to accomplish. I learned two things about myself my energy level, my productivity that I never knew before.

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I needed eight hours of uninterrupted sleep to function at that level of morning. Productivity. When my daughters were born, sleep, stillness and rest was more important to me than gym sessions.

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For a while, I tried to force my old routine into this chapter and it didn't work.

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It left me feeling frustrated, more exhausted. Angry and resentful.

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This chapter transformed my relationship with productivity, where I learned it's not always about being busy and reaching new goals and accomplishing the next thing. The success of this chapter was actually in the slow mornings, the stillness, the hours of cuddles. That was what was successful.

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Now, looking back at the first year of my newborn's lives, I could see that it was a dive in intensive chapter meant to prepare me for the rest of my motherhood journey.

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It forces other parts of our lives to stop, pause, or shift in a way that benefits our child and ourselves.

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There would be no room for bonding with our child if certain previous systems were still in full force.

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If we are still in a mode of aggressively pursuing a career or a fitness, or doing certain projects that requires a lot of energy, it doesn't leave as much energy for the bonding experience that this chapter requires.

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The slow down and sacrifice is necessary. Looking back, I wish I was able to see this more clearly, to really sink in and embrace the slowness and the energy exchange in a way that values its beauty and connection, instead of some of the anger and resentment I felt.

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So if you are in the newborn toddler chapter, I want to encourage you to try to shift your mindset towards embracing the slow down, embracing the hunger and exhaustion.

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As strange as that may feel,

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as a way of it being a sacred transition

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of you showing your child that they come first,

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you are setting the groundwork and giving your child the message that you will provide and protect and take care of them. You are giving them that safety and knowing,

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while also giving yourself this time to really bond with your child.

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Then, as our children get older, we start to think of other needs. Their academic, emotional and socialization. They have a bit more independence where they can grab a snack from the fridge or use the bathroom on their own.

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So we see this shift in them, not needing us for the same things that they did need us for as babies.

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We are then faced with considering daycare, school, homeschooling, and trying to navigate what feels best for them. For ourselves and for the family as a whole.

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Childcare is an energy exchange as well. We are exchanging money for childcare. This exchange also happens with sports and clubs and clothes.

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The reason I say that is to make you aware that we are constantly exchanging different forms of energy in motherhood.

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Besides, money is energy. Time is also a form of energy. Spending the time at soccer practice or rearranging your schedule to accommodate pickup and drop off times. Exchanges are not bad. They are necessary and also a form of showing love.

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This became apparent to me very clearly when our family went to Disney for the first time,

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and I was looking at every single parent at the park in a different way,

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because if you think about it,

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who would spend all that money and time waiting on lines for their vacation?

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Most adults I know would want to be sitting on a beach with a margarita in their hand, or exploring a cool city in Europe.

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Yet here we all are as parents, spending our vacation week, our money, our time, waiting on line to meet Mickey Mouse.

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It wasn't for themselves. It was for them to offer their child a joyful, magical experience.

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This is also with every day weekend events. Many adults may want to sit on the couch and watch TV or rest on a Sunday,

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but instead wake up and take their child to baseball or plan a fun play did at the park.

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That is what being a parent is.

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And again, we do this out of love. We do this to give our kids a childhood where they could be themselves and experience new things.

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It really is a beautiful gift if you think about it in that way.

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Now comes the next part of these energy exchanges, which is about you filling up your own cup.

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We have all heard the airline message about having to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before putting it on your child.

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Let's get real here. It can feel impossible at times to fill up our own cup.

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We see extremes as selfish moms who care so much about their own needs that they neglect their children,

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or the other extreme of moms who make sure all of their child's needs are met at the expense of any of their own needs.

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These are the moms who pour from an empty well, constantly,

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but it ends up backfiring. Any extreme has its problems.

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So how can we find our middle ground

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where we are filling up our own cup while also providing for our children?

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For myself, I started doing quick check ins. I would ask myself how my daughter's physical, emotional and mental needs were met

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throughout the day and would identify.

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She had eggs for breakfast this morning. She had time to run around at the park.

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We processed how she felt when her sister took her toys. Things like that.

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I would then check in with how I met my own physical, emotional and mental needs for the day.

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And I found myself having a hard time

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running on two cups of coffee and not speaking to anyone but my children all day. Didn't feel like I was meeting my own needs so I would then make a point to call my sister or friend to check quick, or take a break from playing with my girls to make myself a sandwich.

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Or don't come at me.

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I would put on an episode of Sesame Street so I could do a peloton workout, or just scroll for a few minutes.

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Just that mental check in would remind me that I have to carve out small moments for myself.

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Because what message am I giving to my daughter if I am showing this self-sacrifice, saying

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codependency, where you give so much to someone else and you don't consider yourself and don't show your self-love.

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I would then do that again in a bigger sense as well, where I would ask myself what would feel really good for me. This week? Or what would I like to get done this month?

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And maybe it was a weekend away with my husband or getting my nails done.

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Whichever was I would put it in my calendar to prioritize it and make it happened.

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Finding safe and reliable childcare was so crucial for me in order to do this.

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I also hired a cleaning service to come in twice a month to help with cleaning.

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These little investments felt like it was a way of filling up my own cup and showing my self-love.

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If finances are a concern, you could try reaching out to other support systems.

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I've asked my siblings or friends to watch my girls so I can go to a therapy session or go for a walk.

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The first step is figuring out the what? What do I need? What will feel good for me? Then you figure out the how.

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Just how we show our children that we love them through these exchanges. We also deserve to show ourselves love.

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It does look different in motherhood,

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but the realistic expectations, support and trial and error. There is a way to find balance.

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Life is all about energy, our own energy level. How are we spending our energy and how do we fill up our own battery?

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Think about how you're spending your energy, your time, your thoughts, your words, your money, and does it align with your values?

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Try to pay attention to what you're speaking about, how you're speaking about things.

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Is it the way that you're wanting to live your life?

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If you do notice a disconnect between your values and how you're spending your energy.

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Maybe journal about it.

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Write out your values. Write what it would look like

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for you to spend your energy in alignment with those values,

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and also give yourself grace. The newborn and toddler chapter is extremely overwhelming and challenging in its own way.

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We all know it's beautiful, but it's also incredibly difficult.

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So give yourself some grace. Allow yourself the trial and errors that all moms go through,

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and be kind to yourself.

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Thank you for listening. Be sure to leave a review or share with the mom, who can maybe use this gentle reminder.

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New episode is airing next week and until then, love, heal and love. Mystic mom.