Travel Is Cheaper Than Divorce
"Travel is cheaper than divorce, I should know. My wife and I were at the door to it." - David Packer
In this podcast I share some of the places, experiences and moments that changed the dynamics of not only my marriage but also the relationship with my kids. Travel was a big key of growing together, becoming stronger as a family and truly saving my marriage with my wife.
I share with you, how you can gain and travel using points and other rewards programs to see and explore some of the most amazing places in the world. In this podcast I share some of the lessons both good and bad, that have guided me and my family as we have navigated the growth and expansion of a family unit.
TRAVEL IS POSSIBLE... when you do it smart. In this podcast I give the tips and tricks I have used and the secrets I teach others of using rewards & point programs to maximize the dollars you are already spending to create some unforgettable memories with your family.
Travel Is Cheaper Than Divorce
Embracing Introversion on the Road to Growth
What if the key to unlocking a rich tapestry of human connection lies in embracing your inner introvert through travel? Join us as I recount my personal journey from a guarded heart, shaped by a childhood move from Southern California to Northern Utah, to the liberating world of luxury travel where I broke free from my shell. Learn how navigating the discomfort of social interactions, whether with chatty Uber drivers or fellow passengers on a plane, became a catalyst for growth and a means to improve family dynamics.
Discover the transformative power of travel and self-discovery, especially for introverts like myself. Through tales of teaching others to travel affordably and the healing that comes from truly listening to my wife’s challenging past, we explore the essence of human connection versus the dangers of isolation. This episode promises insights into overcoming personal fears, the balance of joy and financial success, and how the journey to a more fulfilling life often begins with the courage to step outside your comfort zone. Whether introverted or extroverted, the lessons of connection and healing through travel await you.
You are listening to. Travel is Cheaper than Divorce. This podcast for all those who may be struggling with their spouse or their children and the relationship with them. We help give you tips and tricks by using travel as the means to be able to help your relationships with your family. I'll provide those tricks and other ways to help travel with little or no cost. So let's get into it.
Speaker 1:I don't like to travel. I mean, I don't like to travel when I have to talk to other people. It's something that's come from. It comes from inside of me because, believe it or not, even though you've listened to this podcast as long as you have or maybe this is your first episode I'm naturally an introvert. I'm not one who talks to the Uber driver, for example. I'm not one that talks to the guy next to me on a plane. You know the type, the ones who sit down in their seat and immediately they put the headphones on their head. I want to talk to you, I want to talk to you, and then you get the people who are on a plane. You can't wait to talk to somebody. Boy, that is not me. Boy, that is not me.
Speaker 1:A lot of this, I think, is rooted in my somewhat fear of people. I don't know how people are going to react. I don't know how people are going to react. You know, some of this can also come from, some of this could also come from my well, I mean, I just it comes rooted in a place where people have. If I don't have my heart open, I don't know, I'm afraid of what they'll do to my heart and I'm also not able to feel them out either. And so there's this, there's this strong fear of people because I, I just don't know. I just don't know what they're going to say.
Speaker 1:So let me tell you a story from my life. I, um, I moved when I was 11 years old, after, after my parents got divorced. We moved to Northern Utah from Southern California. We moved from Southern California to Northern Utah. Of course, it's a whole different environment and a whole different climate. I was in the Mojave Desert and then I moved to a place where this white stuff fell from the sky, which I wholeheartedly hate, by the way. That's why I don't live there anymore. But but anyways, the people were different, the culture was different. It was just a different type of environment.
Speaker 1:Because I was a child of a divorce, my mom was not home a lot, she had to work, and so, with my dad in Southern California still, and my mother working full time and going to school full time at one point, it was a double whammy For her. It was really hard For us as kids. It was hard for us too, just not in the same way. A lot of the time I had to walk home from school Now, school was not close. Home from school Now, school was not close, and I mean I was. So we were in the area where, where that I could certainly take a bus home and I did a lot of the times. But I liked I like to participate in extracurricular activities that were after school, and they did have a bus, one bus for people who were in this extracurricular area, but this one bus where normally it'd be like six buses to take you around, everybody around, to their various places after school this is one bus for the entire town that was in, and so it didn't get close to my house. They dropped me off, probably still a good mile away, if not longer. I can't really think of how long it was. So I walked from there all the way home.
Speaker 1:Now when, I believe, when you remember memories vividly. Sometimes they are something that really deeply affected you. Well, I was walking my way home one day, and I think I was in northern Utah, in this town, Probably I would say definitely less than a year, probably less than six months, so fairly fresh off the boat, if you will. Again, different culture. I did not have any friends yet. I left my best best friend in Southern California. We've been friends forever. He lived just in the cul-de-sac I was in. Honestly, since then I've tried to find him on Facebook, but that's a whole separate story, but I haven't been able to reconnect with him. I don't know what's going on with him. We were only friends until, really, I moved, when I was about 11 years old, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So as I was walking home again no friends, new environment there was a kid who bicycled up next to me. He was on a bike. I was not. I was walking on a bike. I was not. I was walking. And he looked straight at me and he said to me you know, you're a loser, right, he said. He said other things too. He called me a bunch of names I can't remember particularly the other ones right now. But he said you know, you're a loser right Now. It's not like kids don't get bullied all the time.
Speaker 1:I actually do think that we're probably born introverts and extroverts only because I've watched my own kids when they're born. My second child, who is my oldest daughter, has been extrovert since she came out of the womb. She like came out and she's like here I am, and she hasn't stopped doing that really. So it's not that that made me introvert, but it certainly made me, along with other things certainly made me not want to really Talk to people. In fact, if I really look back through my life, I can tell you that most of my friends weren't friends that I came up to and said, hey, want to be friends or hey, you have the same interests as me. Never, In fact, my best friend all through high school Love that kid, my best friend all through high school. I found him because my older brother's friend Okay, so my older brother's friend's brother is who end up being my best friend all through high school. So I met him through my brother essentially. Maybe that's normal, I don't know, but it seems like I could never be. It's never easy for me to make friends, Even in adulthood. I can't even I can't even pick out. I can pick out maybe one hand and maybe even just one or two fingers how many friends I have a. I don't trust people. Now I will tell you this though Travel has made it easier for me to talk to people, I don't talk to people on planes still, and in fact it's one of the one of the perks besides the comfy seats more legroom, food on the plane, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:But it's certainly one of the perks of flying first class or business class, depending if you're going international. It's certainly one of those perks if you're traveling with your spouse. I never travel alone unless it's for business. So if I'm traveling for pleasure, it's either with my spouse or a child or children. But it's certainly a perks of being in first class, because there's rarely rarely I've never actually personally seen it and I need the planes I flown on yet that there'll be like three or four first class or business class seats together is usually just two because they're bigger seats. Or first class or business class seats together is usually just two because they're bigger seats. But it's certainly one of the perks of flying first class with your spouse that you don't actually have to talk to anybody else Generally the people behind you in front of you aren't going to talk to you either. And in fact, if you've ever flown first class I mean none of you have yet you really should. It's lots of fun, and I don't ever pay first class prices and I rarely pay cash, In fact I don't. I have never paid cash for a first class or a business class flight ever, ever.
Speaker 1:But if you're ever flown first class or business class, you notice that most people don't talk to each other up there. They're in their own little worlds Perfect for an introvert like me. So who? Who? I have a conversation with my spouse, I have a conversation with my spouse and I absolutely love my spouse. We've become closer and closer, as I've said in previous episodes, because we travel more together.
Speaker 1:Again, I referenced an episode I recorded a while ago about how it's more important for you to be closer to your spouse and your children, because that affects your children and so you need to travel with your spouse. You need to get out of the house, Anyway. So it's one of the greatest perks I think of traveling first class at business class. I don't have to talk to people or feel obligated to do that, but I'll tell you this If you want to get out of your shells to introvert, I'm getting there. Even after all these years of traveling, I'm still not there, but I'm getting there when I start to talk to the Uber drivers Now. So I actually am in Phoenix right now recording this podcast, and one of the things they have in Phoenix is self-driving Ubers. Essentially they're called Waymos, done by Google. I'm not quite there enough to not get an Uber. I'll get a Waymo Because I don't have to talk to anybody. Still right. But when I do get Ubers in other cities that don't have Waymos, which they're only in like three cities right now so Phoenix just happened to be one of them but when I do get an Uber, I actually do sometimes actually strike up a conversation with people.
Speaker 1:Now, I didn't used to do that, but I had too many awkward and they were awkward, awkward and they were awkward. I mean, I remember, I remember traveling. Um, I think I was traveling to Kansas city for work. Actually, it was Overland park, Kansas, in fact. And so there is, if you don't know Kansas very well, you fly into Kansas international and then you go to Overland park. It's about a 45 minute drive or so from the airport, Overland Park, Kansas. Well, I literally had an entire Uber drive where I didn't even say a word to the Uber driver. Well, that's not true. I responded to a question or two of his the end. I think that has such an impact on me. This is why you travel, because it forces you to have awkward moments like that. I have never since then had another Uber trip like that, because that was awkward, awkward, awkward. But and then you start to talk to people, and this is another thing.
Speaker 1:I've learned recently quite a bit on how to tell my story, and you notice there's a lot of my story in a lot of these podcast episodes. But you know, what's really fascinating is listening to other people's stories. I remember, in fact, that there was I don't think it's on anymore, but there was this show that was on television called Story Trek, and it was just a guy who randomly started knocking doors and asking them to tell their story on camera. Very fascinating, Very fascinating to listen where people have come from, and so it's interesting to hear people's stories. Why are you an Uber driver? It's not offensive, I wouldn't say it necessarily that way, but if you can tell they have a heavy accent, I ask them where they're from, how long they've been in this country? Do you like Uber driving? Do you have another job? Do you have any kids? It's just interesting to hear people.
Speaker 1:There's a mentor who once told me that people really like to talk about themselves quite a bit. So you know, you strike up a conversation with somebody, they'll be able talk about themselves quite a bit. So you know you strike up a conversation with somebody, they'll be able to tell you quite a bit about themselves. So, again, I'm not quite there where I like to talk to people on planes. So I really do prefer to travel in luxury for a myriad of reasons, but this is definitely one of them. But again, travels helped me even come out of my shell and out of my introvert shell. You know one of them, but again, travels helped me even come out of my shell and out of my introvert shell. You know, one of the coolest things that is also part of this that I've realized with travel is it is probably the coolest thing I've ever done.
Speaker 1:One of the coolest things I've ever done when traveling is that I can sit in a hotel room or even on a beach with my laptop and literally make money while I'm lying on the beach or sitting in a hotel room, or even on a beach with my laptop and literally make money while I'm lying on the beach or sitting in a hotel room. Well, David, I don't want to work because I don't like what I do. Well, maybe that's a separate problem that you need to deal with. Maybe you need to change that story. Maybe you need to shift in understanding. I've come to realize, particularly lately I've really come to realize lately that if you don't enjoy what you do, then you're just wasting your life anyways. You got to enjoy what you do and the money will come, and so I can sit on the beach and do what I do, because I love what I do.
Speaker 1:I love teaching people how to do what I've done, which is travel for little or no cost in luxury, Because I've seen what it's done for my family and even for me. And then you get to hear other people's stories again, because then you start coming out of your shell, you start talking to people and then that fear of people which I really do have still because of these other things that have happened in my life People have called me names a lot of my life. Frankly, Some of that is because of I've always and I embrace this now but I've always been a numbers guy, very geeky person. This is where a lot of my stuff comes from. This is why I have people who love what I do and help them, you know, with the learning how to travel for little or no cost because I'm able to use the numbers to help them. But but I call they, I got called a whole bunch of names geek, nerd, other things like that, and you know, you, you get. I don't want to call myself bullied because I don't want to sound like a victim, because I actually actually grateful for, for the people who have brought me to where, about either good nor bad, but I certainly. That certainly shaped me to have a fear of people and what they might do.
Speaker 1:You know, I realized also being married to my spouse, who has been through quite a bit in her life and this is not my story, but her story has become my story in the way that she has been through a ton of things. I mean all sorts of sexual abuse and rape and terrible things, Terrible things that it is quite healing when you listen to her. So this is another thing. As we become closer I've been able to listen to her, more Listen to her and the more I listen to her and she's telling me her story or she's telling me how she feels and it relates to her story. I realize, as I've talked to her and as she's relating her story to me because she is again one person I will talk to on a plane, of course and she tells me how she's feeling or she's telling me a part of her story, how cleansing that is for her Just to listen to her and listen to her story, but not just listen to it haphazardly, but really take in what she's saying haphazardly, but really take in what she's saying. And then if you take that, if you can take that, and then when you travel and you're out with people and you ask them a question, when you get to that point where you feel like you can and they start telling you their story and you listen to them, that's healing for them to listen to them, tell you.
Speaker 1:You know as much as I fear people and I have, and I still do a little bit, as I've said I've realized that we're all supposed to be connected anyways, you know we're all if we cannot live this life in isolation and you know part of this traveling and why it's so important why I believe it heals a lot of things is because if you're staying in your home constantly as your family and you're not really doing anything together, then you're isolating. You're really isolating everybody. You're isolating yourself A lot of times, isolating you yourself as a man into a whole different room. Sometimes that's just isolation. It's not freedom. Right, Be free, Get out there. Get out there. Get out into the world. Have you ever met anybody on the streets also who are so isolated in their own head they don't even know where they're at anymore? I'm not saying that will happen to you.
Speaker 1:You know how isolating it is to have a family that you loved and then all of a sudden, you're living by yourself because you didn't do the things that you're supposed to do to change. It's hard. I've been through it myself. I had to change my fear of rejection, my fear of people, my fear of being hurt from my spouse. I put in the work. She said to me I just need you to listen to me and not respond and not try to fix it One day while she was crying on the floor, and then she stops crying on the floor. This is part of my story, because sometimes she would stop crying on the floor and then she stops crying on the floor. This is part of my story, Because sometimes she would stop crying on the floor and then I went right back to the person I was. I didn't make a change, I was just okay, good, that's over, let's move on with our lives. I will tell you from experience. Then you just end up in the same place again. Then you just end up in the same place again and you're expecting her to change when you haven't even bothered, saying maybe I need to.
Speaker 1:Effort breeds effort. If you're going to put effort into the marriage, if you're going to put effort into the marriage to change, then she will put in some effort too. Maybe not as much as you at first. Maybe you're saying my spouse will never put in that effort. I don't believe that, Because I've seen it in my life. I put in. My wife has always put a lot of effort in, so I don't know the situation you're in, but because she kept putting effort in and she kept putting effort in, I eventually put my effort in and then she put more effort in and then we grew together and a lot of this effort I'm telling you happened while we traveled. We were isolated in hotel rooms together so we had to talk to each other On planes together, we had to talk to each other and we had some wonderful conversations. I remember in Hawaii, one day we were in this hotel room and we had some very deep conversations and I'm not saying it was that moment in that hotel. I think it's a myriad of moments that brought us together where we don't talk about parallel marriage or anything like that anymore. We talk about how excited we are to go to the next trip, a lot of the times together or with the family or with the kids, Because if your fear of people goes run so deep that you fear your spouse, where does that get you?
Speaker 1:I had to overcome that. I had to overcome that by listening and being vulnerable and I did that. I already told you the story One of those times. I did that and how I actually traveling really helped me, Because then, if you're away from work and you're out and travel, it's easier for you to open up. That's what happened in that hotel room in Hawaii. I opened up. That's what happened in that hotel room in Hawaii. I opened up and it came naturally. I didn't have to say, okay, well, I better open up. It came naturally. So your fear of people cannot extend to your spouse and if it does right now, I'm telling you, get away with her, Because I'm telling you right now that travel is much cheaper than divorce you have been listening to. Travel is Cheaper Than Divorce with David Packer. Please let us know what you think about this episode or any other comments you might have, by visiting our website at wwwtravelpointdadcom. Please join us for our next episode, where we continue to explore how travel can help bring your family together.