The Right Questions with James Victore
The Right Questions is designed to help you get paid to do what you love and stay sane in the process.
The Right Questions with James Victore
Episode 46: Fear of the Blank Page
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Why do we freeze when faced with a blank page?
That terrifying moment when doodling transforms into "creating a piece" often brings unexpected anxiety. In this episode, I tackle a profound question from Carlos about the fear that emerges when moving from playful sketches to committed artwork.
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All right, let's do this thing. Cue the fake music. Howdy? This is the Right Questions, and I am your main man, james, victoria, and I am here to drop some knowledge on you, as they say in the local parlance. And I want to cut right to the chase, because we got a good question here today. It came from our pal, carlos. Today's question, like I said, comes from Carlos and the question is posed like this. Let me just read it out for you.
Speaker 1:First, james, I have been drawing, doodling and coming up with concepts for a while, but I noticed that when it's time to create a piece, I'm a little more apprehensive. It feels like I'm afraid of the commitment that comes with it. In my messy doodling, there is safety, play and no risk, but in the severity of the blank page making a move, calling it done and putting my name on it, I am less confident. Any words of advice. So juicy, so full of nuggets I love it. Ah, so good, you know, listen. This is one simple it? Ah, so good, you know, listen. This is one simple question with so many good answers embedded inside. It's like a freaking Snickers bar of a question.
Speaker 1:What's what I wrote about? In fact, perfection is this idea of in the particular lies the universal right. That means the things that you love and the things that you fear. If you can write about them, if you can put them in your work, if you can be honest and vulnerable about that in your work, your work will then speak to so many other people. You know, whether it's your, whether it's your, your dealing with your, your your weight or anxiety over different ideas, or your love of nature or your love of painting flowers, whatever that particular thing is, if you can express that in a meaningful way, in an honest way, then you speak to a huge audience. So you speak to everybody, basically a huge audience. So you speak to everybody, basically.
Speaker 1:Similarly, similarly, your questions are everyone's questions and I used to say that in school of visual arts I'd say you know, I'd, I'd, I'd be teaching and I'd say so, you know any questions. And of course, students just sit there staring at me, like, like, like I'm talking to a group of you know dogs, basically like, and no apologies to students, you know who you are. But, similarly, your questions are everyone's questions. So do not rob yourself or anyone else of those questions, because if you don't ask your simple, your obvious question, then you're not only you're not asking it, but you're not asking it for all those other people who are afraid to ask. You get it, you get it. So I can't give you an answer. Therefore, I can't give everybody an answer and we don't help each other, right? So go and get the information that you need. Share your questions with everyone.
Speaker 1:Questions are the path to knowledge. I have to teach my kids this too. Don't be afraid of asking questions. Don't be afraid of challenging. You know I got to teach my kids this too. Don't be afraid of challenging me. I don't fucking know. They'll figure that out someday, but in the wrong way. So I want them to figure it out now. Questions are the path, right.
Speaker 1:So we have an excellent, excellent question here, and we're going to break this question down into, you know, two or maybe three parts. We're going to check under the hood of this question. You know two or maybe three parts. We're going to check under the hood of this question. You know, check the fluids, rotate the tires and get it back on the track real fast time, right. And we're going to find the right questions within this question. So in the first part of this question, carlos writes and he says I've been drawing, doodling and coming up with concepts for a while, but I noticed that when it's time to create a piece, right, and let's, in quotes, create a piece like when it gets real, I'm a little more apprehensive.
Speaker 1:Carlos, me too. That's just how it works. Next question no, I'm kidding, it's just how it works. I mean, I don't think there's an artist or a writer or a creator or a musician you know alive who doesn't have this. Because you know, for me, my sketches are so freaking good, the little doodle I make on a napkin or while I'm on the bus Well, I don't take a bus, but you know like you know, the little sketches, the fun and free and messy stuff are so good. But when it comes time to translate that, my sphincter tightens right up, it just shrinks right down, right.
Speaker 1:When it's time for the real thing, all this fear comes in right. But that's the thing, right, it's just fear, it's perfection stopping us. We see it in our head and we just want to match it right. So it's that kind of perfection and you know, quite frankly, that's no good. We can't have that. We can't have that. What we can have is that fear jumping in the apprehension that you talk about, right? So here's a case scenario you know out of my sketchbook, right?
Speaker 1:Let's take it, for example, my hand lettering. You know people love my hand lettering. I hate it personally. You know, I'm like constantly, constantly, constantly searching for some new thing, some new thing to start. So it doesn't look like like, oh my God, there it is. There's my hand lettering again, whoop-de-doo, right, I'm constantly searching for it. And I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1:My best lettering, the most beautiful, best lettering, is usually just a shopping list that I don't care about, because my hand lettering is just my handwriting, but a shopping list. Did you hear what I said about the shopping list? I don't care about it, you know. So I try to emulate that when I'm quote, unquote working, I want that freedom. I want to. I often use this term when I'm talking about especially lettering. I want to skate on the edge of legibility, right. I do want danger, I do want mistakes, especially if I'm working with a brush. I want whatever my arthritic brush has got in it, right, a little hair hanging off the side or something, right. So I try to emulate that fun and freedom in the sketch when I get to the final piece.
Speaker 1:Quite frankly, so many pieces of mine I mean the stuff that's in museums, so many of them are literally I just love that word literally. They're literally just the sketch, they're literally just the you know inch and a high sketch that I just blew the hell out of it and made it, you know, 1,100% larger right, thousand, 100% larger right. And when I first met my mentor, one of my mentors this is the French one, not the Polish one, the Polish one is Henrik Tomaszewski when I first met my mentor, pierre Bernard of Grappus, a French design team, I asked him about his lettering and if he wrote and if he, I asked him, I said hey, you know, do you write the words out like a million times and then cut and paste them together and assemble, put the O, make it look like it belongs to the U and then the L, and you know the way I did. And he said no, he told me. No, he said he said and I and I trust him on this, I believe him on this he said I write it out maybe two or three times, but I always choose the first, which to me means, you know, he fecked perfection because he knew, he knew that that search was going to be useless, that search for perfection was going to be useless. He knew there were going to be more jobs. He knew there was going to be more opportunities down the road. Right, he didn't have to go dragging himself through the mud to get a word, to get a title, to get a line of type, to get a drawing out the door. He got used to the immediacy of his first or second attempt. He got used to his lack of trying. Because that's the thing, it's this trying.
Speaker 1:You know, another mentor of mine is this little green guy named Yoda right, and he says you know, there is no try, there is only do right, there's only do you know. And I will tell you, that kind of spirit takes trust right. It takes trust, it takes trust in your practice and trust in yourself. And listen, we are way too close to our own work. We are way too close to our own work. That's why James Victoria doesn't like anything James Victoria makes, because he's way too close to it, right, cause I see it and I and I, and I literally see it in the best case scenario in my head and I can never match it. So I have to kind of back off from that.
Speaker 1:I remember um, um, what is his name? The best, literally the best pianist in the world ever. Um uh uh, rubenstein was asked if he thought that he was the best. He was asked, literally, he was like 117 years old this time and he said you know, you are called the best pianist of you know of any century. He says you know. The interview was like do you believe that? And he said no. He said that's ludicrous. He says cause, there is no, there is no best, there is no perfection in art, and I thought that was a damn good answer.
Speaker 1:So this kind of spirit takes practice and trust in yourself. Right now you're thinking oh man, I wish James Victoria could be my mentor, my guru. Hell, I wish he was my coach. Well, you can make that happen. Go to yourworkisagiftcom. There's a questionnaire that will probably help you out, but it'll also give you access to a free call. So let's talk. Let's free you from overwhelm and creative frustration. Let's build your business and help you get paid to do what you love. Again, go to yourworkisagiftcom. Let's talk. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:I was doing, and he was working with a big Sumi brush. He literally showed me a stack that was maybe a foot and a half tall of of of newsprint that had been written on right. I mean it was huge. And he said, he said you know. He said, hey, you want to. You know, can you take a look in there and and and you know, see if you can find anything that looks good? And I'm like, I'm like I said, dude, you're never going to find it, you're never going to find it. I said like, like, I flipped it, I took the stack, I flipped it over, I gave him the first one. I said, there, use that, use that Because you're never going to find it, because you think it's a search and the search will never end. The search will never end. So the answer is to. The answer is super. The answer is to quit. Trying Is to stop trying.
Speaker 1:You know, because you and me, we all, everybody on the planet, we want check this word out. We want to control the outcome. We want to control the outcome of our sketches, of our work. We want to see it perfect in its perfect scenario. We want to control the outcome of our sketches, of our work. We want to see it perfect in its perfect scenario. We want to control the outcome. We want to control our children's lives. We want to control our own lives. Shit, I wish we could Fuck. I wish I could. I would change a handful of things that are going on in my life right now if I could control it. But it ain't going to happen. So the only answer is to let go.
Speaker 1:Whenever you have that notion of wanting to control something, the answer is to let go. Let go of all the what-ifs you know and settle into what may be. Just, maybe you'll find what you're mining for, or you'll possibly find a larger vein of gold, right. So accept what you're making, accept the work, accept what's coming out of you. Shit. Put a. Here's another way to do it set a timer. Set a timer five minutes. You got five minutes to do it. Poop it out and know, know and trust. At the end of that five minutes it's going to be great. And if it's not, choose one, move forward, go part of it. Part of the answer is also that nobody else cares. Nobody else sees the stuff like we see it, okay. So let's go find some gold, Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to move on to the second part of Carlos' question. Here he says it feels like I'm afraid of the commitment that comes with it. I'm going to rewrite that question, right. And he says I feel like I'm afraid of the commitment that comes with it. I'm going to rewrite that, I'm going to edit it, I'm going to shorten it a bit, right, I'm going to, like, make it more precise and more pointed for you know, for the rest of our listeners, and so everybody around the world will understand. And the question goes like this I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared. It feels like I'm afraid of the commitment that comes with it. You're afraid. You're afraid, you're afraid of committing? Yeah, I get it, I get it. You're afraid, you're afraid of committing? Yeah, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1:But the right question here is how do I move forward? That's it. How do I move forward without fear? Why don't we just leave that off? How about take the without fear part and drop it off? How do we do that? How do we? How do we commit to our work? How do we commit to, to, to making these drawings and taking these doodles, and and and having them see life? You know, without the fear, without the fear of committing? I have a, I have a um, um. I have an answer for you, right, how to move forward without fear when you're making marks. I have a beautiful answer. It's actually so beautiful, it's almost elegant, it's pretty near poetry even, and it goes like this Get more paper, get more paper, get more paper.
Speaker 1:Your fear of commitment comes from the classic artist terror of the page. You know, the fear of commitment is like, oh my God, a blank page in front of me. You know, this is when you're afraid to make a mark, afraid to besmirch a pristine sheet of white paper assuming you're working on white right or afraid to ruin a $30 canvas. You know, I say ruin it. I say fucking, go for it. Guys, come on, grow a fucking pear. What are you afraid of? Nothing. What Don't you got an eraser? Don't, don't, don't. Don't you got more paint? Buy more paper, buy more paper, baby, don't be afraid.
Speaker 1:Listen, here's a story when I was a kid. I like stories to say you know, when I was a kid, it's like the perfect, it's the, it's the perfect beginning of any story. You know, when I was a kid, it's better than it's almost, it's almost as good, as you know once upon a time, and it's slightly better than a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. So anyway, when I was a kid, far away. So anyway, when I was a kid my mom used to bring me home typing paper from her office. She worked in a university library, so she brought me home typing paper from her office so I could draw. She knew I liked to draw.
Speaker 1:This was back in the day. This was before the time when we spoiled our kids with their own art studio where they've got like an easel and fresh paints and all this shit right, and there were no art stores with kids shit in it. Really it was like an art store and you had to search if you want colored chalk, right, and it was like real. It was like real stuff. And in my hometown there was no art store either. So there you go.
Speaker 1:But my mom used to bring home me these stacks of paper and she used to get upset because I drew right in the middle of the page and I never filled the page right. I had a drawing in the middle of the page and if I didn't like it I just went to the next page. I didn't like move to the left or go to the corner right. I didn't like move to the left or go to the corner right and I never, ever, drew on the back Because I didn't want the show through, I didn't want to see it through, I want to just like keep my drawings nice, right. And she thought I was wasting paper. And today, I kind of do the same thing. I kind of do the same thing.
Speaker 1:I got to make sure I got a lot of paper around, because the only time I feel scarcity you know the scarcity that we're talking about, like the lack, the lack of right the only time I feel that is when I'm working, you know, you know, after dinner and I'm running out of supplies, I'm like, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, what am I going to do, right? Well, you know, now we got Photoshop so I can draw five or six things on a page, take a photograph of it and then just like clean the other things off, right, you can use the eraser, which you know. Here's a little funny side note In Photoshop, all I know how to use is the eraser, that's it. Oh, and I can adjust the levels, literally, that's it.
Speaker 1:I am so hobbled, hobbled by technology. You know what? I have got to come up with a creative challenge in order for you all to face this right To face this idea of you know, afraid of being afraid of committing, right, right, I think that's a nice idea. I want you guys to face the commitment of a piece of paper, like I don't know how it would work, I would limit you to one piece, and you have to draw like six things on it, right? So you force you to like erase and paint over and you know that kind of thing. And I want you to not only face it. I don't, that's not my, that's not never my objective. My objective is for you to beat the crap out of it, for you to create a new career because of this challenge. I want to.
Speaker 1:It's like, it's like. It's like, uh, it's like a, a mixed martial arts challenge where you, where um, um, there's a there's a really cool uh movie about this, called red belt, right Is uh, it's uh. Where the fighters have to choose um, um, a, uh, to be hobbled in some way, like they have one arm literally tied behind their back, or or they can't use their, their legs or whatever. Right, and and and, to see what you're made of, because I never want to give you a challenge just for the fun of it. I want to give you a challenge so you can. So you can defeat the challenge, so you can see the opportunities in it. I want to give you a challenge so you can. So you can defeat the challenge, so you can see the opportunities in it. So you can I literally create a new career out of it. Right, this is smart stuff. I love this.
Speaker 1:So Carlos, in his question, goes on. And he goes on to obviously give us more gifts, know to, to share his wealth with us. So he says, in my messy doodling there's safety play and no risk. But in the severity of the blank page, making a move, calling it done and putting my name on it, I, I am less confident. Any words of advice? Okay, I mentioned it earlier.
Speaker 1:There's a word that comes up when I think about this Again the blank page, calling it done, putting your name on it and becoming less confident. Right, there's a word for that and it's called scarcity. I said that before. I'm going to say it again. Scarcity, actually, since it's October, we're going to break that word into two. Gonna say it again scarcity actually, since it's all october, we're gonna break that word into two words. We're gonna call it scare city, scare city. Welcome to you know scare city. Come on down to scare city. We got all your halloween supplies. We got gallons of fake blood for a few dollars more. We got even real blood. We got demonic bird calls for your seance rituals. We got Freddy Krueger chicken fingers for the kitties. I could go on. It's good stuff, you know, but I digress. Okay, okay, scarcity. You're going to remember that forever. Now I just made an idea, poignant and memorable Scarcity.
Speaker 1:So scarcity is a mindset. It literally is right. People have, people literally come from that place and it's a mindset or an outlook on life that focuses on lack, right. It focuses on a lack of resource. You know, we feel there's not enough. So we have to conserve and save or use things sparingly or strategically right, and what happens is we become very possessive of our tools and supplies and we get anxiety from this because there's never enough. We're going to run out. Don't sit on the couch, because it's new. What you want the fucking couch to look like, new for 50 years? What the fuck is this right? Scarcity it's when people cover their couches with plastic because it's scarcity. I want to keep it nice. No, you want it to look like shit. So we experience anxiety.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of information on the subject of scarcity, but how it pertains best to you and I is this when you focus on lack, the more lack you will have. When you focus on not having, the more you will not have and there'll never be enough. Right, you know, people with a scarcity mindset are overly concerned with failure, because if they fail, they won't have enough resources to try again. Right, it's the commitment to the blank page, or even signing it. This can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. And what happens is you no longer make an effort because you're afraid of failing.
Speaker 1:And along with scarcity comes our deadly, two deadly friends perfectionism, because we believe that anything less than perfect isn't good. You know, I don't know, I know you don't literally believe that in your head, but if you come from a scarcity mindset, yes, you do believe that in your head. You can't, you can't voice it, right? So you believe that anything less than perfect isn't good, and this can lead to procrastination. Does that sound familiar you all, carlos? Does that sound familiar? Right, you're hesitant.
Speaker 1:Hesitancy is procrastination. It's also a fear of taking risks, and as well as huge, this is it. This is it. This is the huge idea the inability to see the bigger picture. Think about that. Think about that it stops you from seeing the bigger picture. And while you're thinking about that, go out and get more paper. While you're buying more paper, go and think about that, think about this question. This is good, this is the right questions, baby. So, carlos and everyone else here, the big paper, the big sorry, I'm laughing too much.
Speaker 1:So, carlos and everyone else, the big takeaways here are two things One, get more paper, and the other, the other idea, which we haven't talked about, but I'm going to give it to you right now, is practice, fucking practice, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again. Just play, just play, keep going. And I don't mean on that one word or on that one drawing, I just mean eventually, eventually, eventually. This is going to be such a moot question for you. You're going to fall in love with those silly little marks. You're going to fall in love with the mistakes, because they're going to be you. You're going to see that through this practice, you're going to devolve more and more about yourself. You're going to learn about yourself. This is the right question. This is huge.
Speaker 1:It also reminds me of the story about the painter the painter james mcneil whistler, right. Whoever starts like that, whoever talks like that, oh, it reminds me of a story about the james mcneil whistler. But listen to this, check this out. This is an idea of practice, right, how we get good eventually.
Speaker 1:Um, so, in in 1878, there was a Whistler had to give court testimony about a painting he'd sold. Right, 1878, get it. He was asked by a lawyer about the stiff price, you know, he'd set for the work, and it was something that he created literally in two days, right. And the prosecutor says two days. The labor of two days is that for which you ask 200 guineas, and 200 guineas in 1878 would be about $30,000 right now, right. And Whistler's answer was this he says no, I ask it for the knowledge of a lifetime, right. So bully for you, jimmy Whistler. You go fucking get it, girl, right? 30, right, 30k for two days of labor. But no, you're paying him for his lifetime of doing exactly what Carlos wants to do, exactly what we all want to do Get out there and be bold and be brave and make mistakes. Right. And that is of course. Yes, you're feeling it in your gut.
Speaker 1:That is, of course, the story that Picasso ripped off. You know the famous art thief, when the woman who, like, supposedly, approached Picasso in a restaurant and asked him to scribble something on a napkin or I don't know if it's you know, a woman in a restaurant or a gallery owner on the street, or however you hear the story and she said you know, please draw something on this napkin and she would be happy to pay for whatever he felt it was worth, right? So Picasso complied and, you know, said yes, and he scribbles away. He probably drew, like you know, a bull with a big penis, because that's what he always liked to draw. You know, he's a guy. So, and then he hands it back to her and he says that will be $10,000. And she says but you did that in 30 seconds. And he says, no, madam, it has taken me a lifetime to do that. So now you see, if you understand those two stories, you see why your mom and why your friends and why clients have no idea what you do for a living.
Speaker 1:Since the beginning of time, artists have been explaining or splaining their shit to idiots, trying to get them to understand what it costs to make a mark on the page. So, carlos and everybody else, yes, this is awesome, keep going. The only thing we need to do is take a chill pill and by take a chill pill I mean take the metaphor, not a drug. Or go for a walk or go surfing, or take your girl for a picnic, or your guy for a picnic, or your dog for a picnic, or your guy for a picnic, or your dog for a picnic, right, and just relax. No scarcity, no perfectionism, no fear. There's always enough, there's always enough time, there's always enough painting, enough ink, enough graphite in your pencil, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Speaker 1:You know you are a gushing fountain of creativity and ideas and skills and crafts. You guys go and make and work, and play and have fun. And one last note if you are not having fun, you are all doing it wrongly. I'm James Victoria. This is the Right Questions. You're in the right place. I love you. Adios, we'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.