The Right Questions with James Victore
The Right Questions is designed to help you get paid to do what you love and stay sane in the process.
The Right Questions with James Victore
Episode 54: Old Year, Real You
If you are a stuck or frustrated creative and want to get paid to do what you love, let's talk. https://yourworkisagift.com/coaching
Forget the pressure to reinvent yourself every January.
We take a scalpel to the “new year, new you” mantra and uncover a more honest path: ask the right questions, trust the answers you already know, and let the five-year-old inside—the curious, playful, weirdly wonderful you—come back to the mic. Instead of chasing a shinier identity, we explore what happens when you choose congruence over performance and kindness over punishment.
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All right, let's do this thing. Howdy, I'm James Victoria, and this is the podcast called The Right Questions. And do you know why it is called The Right Questions? Have you thought about that? Have I answered that before? And the reason is is the reason it's called The Right Questions is because I work with a lot of people. And over the years, I've become the answer guy. You know, through YouTube videos that I've had and this podcast and in other forms and over on Instagram and all kinds of ways, people write me and contact me and they ask me questions. Questions like, James, I quit my job. Now what do I do? First of all, if you have that question, talk to me first before you quit your job. I think that's just a smarter thing to do if you know what I'm talking about. But, or or this one I get, James, I want to ask for more money. How do I do that? And this is a very common one. James, how can I create when I am stressed out? Damn good question. And what I try to do is I try to direct people to what we call the right question. Right? So those are good questions, but they're not the right question. The right question is the personal one. That means it's the one you already know the answer to. Right? We ask many questions of ourselves and to others, but we already know the answer to the important questions. And the thing is, we're just too damn scared to face the answer or to ask the right question. So the right question today on these the first days of a brand new year is why do we fixate on that self-helpy line of uh any new year? That is a new year, a new you. Right? Or let's put it this way, why do we make New Year's resolution lists if we know that every year we make the same lists and just ignore them or do it for a couple of weeks and then beat yourself up about it later? So why do we make these lists at all? What I want for you to think about in this bright, beautiful new year, this this this brimming with opportunity year is to think about the new year and the old you. What I wish for you is not a new you. I want the old you. Specifically, I want the five-year-old you that's that's jumping around and playing inside of you. I want that curious, playful, and wonderfully weird kid. That's what I wish for you. Not a you knew you, or different, or improved, just the real and the authentic you. I want more of you. Hell, you know what? The world wants more of you. I think quite frankly, the world needs more of you. And I'm I'm talking to a wide audience, and yes, I mean all of you. That would be your gift. That would be your gift to the world. More of that five-year-old version of you. That version of you that already is perfect and wildly creative and completely natural. I want to see that playful, goofy girl. Oh. I want to see that girl before her folks shut her down or confused the hell out of her with all their own problems. I want to see that fun and quirky boy before all the rules were heaped upon him with such a heavy burden that of course, of course, he stumbles over them every time he tries to follow them. I want that charming and curious kid who just wanted to be seen and heard and loved, and just stood there waiting for it, and acting for it, and presenting for it. And I want them all to know, I want you all to know that you are seen and you are loved. To this new year, new you thing. Let's call bullshit on that. Let's get rid of the lists and all the things to change about ourselves. And let's kinda really just accept that there's nothing wrong with you, and certainly nothing wrong with the old you. The real you, and there's no reason to change it. And you know damn well that most anything on your list is just what you should be doing or not doing anyway. In order to be a positive, happy, contributing member of the world community, you know what it takes. You don't have to make lists and try. Try to do it. Of course, there are things that you should do. Of course you know this. Take good care of yourself, duh. Go for walks. Breathe deeper than you do. Most of us walk around taking little sips of air. You know, breathe deeper than usual. Exercise your lungs. Did you ever hear that one before? Exercise your lungs. There are parts of your lungs that need the practice. As any doctor or nutritionist would tell you, drink more water. That just makes sense. Also, watch your intake. Watch the food you eat. You know? Watch what you feed that awesome, powerful engine of yours. You know, you own this Ferrari of a body that will do anything that you want it to do. And you put sugar in the gas tank? What are you crazy? Sure, get to the gym. But no gym will defeat a shitty diet. Watch your intake. And here's a big one, stop drinking that poison regularly. And if you think that since I stopped drinking some fifty-eight weeks ago, that I've become a staunch advocate of teetotaling, yes, I have. And it's just because this, because now, with that new clarity, I can see the prevalence of drinking alcohol and its accepted normalcy in every aspect of our lives. And here you know this, anything that has that kind of widespread accepted normalcy should be seen with a scant eye, should be held at arm's length. And if you're going to drink, don't drink to get happy. Drink to be happier. Drink to celebrate. So about that long list of habits you want to change or the traits in yourself you would like to have uh almost surgically removed? What if this? What if you were just gentler on yourself? What if you accept you'll always be something of a procrastinator? What if you just build that into your MO? What if you would never entirely lose your tendency to emotionally shut down when you're upset at yourself or other people? What if we were just a bit more conscious of our old selves and all of our imperfections and flaws, and we drop that silly New Year's fantasy of the perfection that we're supposed to be? And what if accepting that you're just not perfect and you're always going to feel a little goofy or uncomfortable around people? Maybe that will begin to make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Maybe just it's just accepting that you're weird. And other people will start to feel good about that too. Maybe we can all be gentler and not judge ourselves so harshly. And then maybe we'll feel less judged by others as well. There is a particularly nostalgic song that we use to represent a new year, to represent every new year brimming with possibility. It's written by Robbie Burns, right? You know it. For old acquaintance before got. You know, it's a song reminiscing for old time's sake. What I wish for you is to allow that old you, that five-year-old spirit jumping around inside of you, that weird and open-hearted kid with no burdens, no hesitancy, this powerful and creative individual that we know as the real you. What I wish for you is, can you let that kid come out and play in 2024? Please accept all of my best wishes for the old you as we share this small cup of kindness. For old Langzein, my dear. For old Lang Xine. You are perfect, just as you are. I'm James Victory. Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting this program. Thank you for being a part. Thank you for sending in questions. I appreciate them greatly. This is the right questions.