The Right Questions with James Victore

Episode 64: How To See The Light

• James Victore

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If you are a stuck or frustrated creative and want to get paid to do what you love, let's talk. https://yourworkisagift.com/coaching

Holiday platitudes fall flat when the world feels divided and your own history makes joy hard to hold. 

We open the blinds anyway. This conversation moves from candor to craft: how to reject toxic positivity without surrendering to cynicism, and how to build a daily practice that actually lifts you out of the dark.

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SPEAKER_00:

I have tried to do this again and again. Okay, let's try to get this one right. And let's start with some holiday music this time. I have written and rewritten this episode a number of times already, and each time I've had to go back and restart. Because words matter, and I don't want to lie to you. I wanted to do a simple holiday message, you know, cheer, abundance, gifts. But I can't just say be of good cheer. Well, not without ignoring reality. And I don't want it to feel like I'm applying a loose band-aid over a gaping sore. I can't ignore where we are as a people today, or as a country divided. It feels dishonest to talk about creativity without acknowledging the mess we're standing in, the division, the cruelty, the exhaustion. Even the stupidity of a quote unquote creative company like Pantone, choosing white as its color of the year. Really? White? Now? And if you've known me for any amount of time, you know this about me. I give a shit. I care about creativity. I care about love. And I care about you. And a lot of my work comes from outrage, trying to fix something, heal something, or even just name something broken. But when I sat down to write this, my holiday message slowly degraded into a list of complaints. And pretty soon I was just peeing in the pool for everyone. We all have our list of complaints, our own personal reasons to be disillusioned, let down from this last year, and fearful of the next. But as philosophy reminds us, pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice. I need to remember that so I can have clarity in my life and get my work done. Because here's something you may not know about me. I come from a long line of manic depressives. There is suicide and depression and real darkness in my family. So it takes an effort for me to wake up before the sun, hungry and horny and eager to work. And even more effort to just be happy. But here's the good news. Through my dangerous woke work, because being woke, you know, having clarity is apparently dangerous now. I have found some tools to help me get out of bed and stay aligned and with a positive and creative mindset. Mainly this. The opposite of depression is expression. And expression is my way out. Creativity is my way out. Out of fear, out of self-pity, and out of the dark. Creativity helps me see what isn't there. So here's the right question. How can you see when the light isn't there? Have you ever gone into a uh a field looking for a four-leaf clover? At first it feels mythical, rare, and impossible, but once you find one, you find another. And another. And you've got a handful of four-leaf clovers. Nothing changed in the field. You changed. You shifted your focus. And instead of focusing on lack, you can start to see abundance from rare to everywhere. And it's the same with the light. The light is always there. And we all have the ability to see it if we choose. You certainly don't need a flashlight to find the doom and gloom and inequity in the world. That shit is everywhere. But you can choose to look for beauty. Hell, even better. Create it. Create it. You can start to be that abundance for yourself, for your family, and for other people. I've made it my practice to become that light. I now call myself the nice sweater guy. In the grocery store or out in the world, I compliment strangers. I make a point of it. I point out their shoes, their hair, their color choices. And you know what? It's hard. It's hard to do. It's hard to put yourself out there to become that light. And not everyone responds. But I can't let someone else's darkness dim my way. They just walk right through. Don't look back. How dare they? Hey, you ungrateful motherfucker, get back here and thank me. But here's the problem. The gift isn't the reaction. The gift is the giving. As Walt Whitman said, the gift is to the giver. It cannot fail. Which means that generosity enriches the giver. It's about finding joy not in receiving, but in the act of giving. Whether it's material or spiritual or acts of service, or even just compliments. There's even science behind this. There's neurology behind giving someone a compliment or telling somebody a joke, is that their brain feels like you've given them a small gift. And even if it's to yourself, compliments trigger dopamine and endorphins, and your brain experiences it like a gift. So we can become the gift for ourselves and for each other. And that's the work. Not pretending like that meme of a coffee-drinking dog in a burning house says, everything's fine. So yes, it's easy to be disillusioned. It's easy to feel let down by circumstances, to let our list of complaints bludgeon us to death. But the good work, the beautiful work, and the good fight is to become that thing that you need. To see the light when it's not there. I'm heading into my birthday month. And the number is getting up there. It's getting there to the point that makes some people start to feel nervous. But it doesn't scare me. Because I don't look my age, I don't act my age, and I don't feel my age. And because I love what I do, and loving the work keeps you going. It keeps you young. I read something recently from a nurse who helps people age better. And she said two things that matter the most. And I thought this was fascinating. And the first one was to lift weights. To lift weights, go to the gym, make your body stronger, make your core stronger. So now you're in charge of your body, and you're not letting gravity or weak atrophied muscles be in charge of you. And the second point was really fascinating. She said to tend a garden because a garden gives you a future. Things to look forward to, seasons, growth, purpose. That's seeing the light when it isn't there. So this is my wish for you. That you keep expressing, that you keep creating, that you become the thing you need and that you learn to see the light even when it feels absent. And then together we can do as my favorite holiday song says we can face unafraid the plans that we've made. I'm James Victoria. I love you. And I believe in you, even when you don't. Here's to 2026. Oh, oh, oh, and by the way, there's something I'm looking forward to in March, something that's coming up in my garden. I've created the fearless symposium and dinner series. You gotta check it out. It's too cool. Check it out at jamesvictory dot com. And I hope to see you there. I love you. Adios