Leveraging Leadership

The Significance Factor: Leading with Purpose and Achieving Greatness

• Emily Sander • Season 1 • Episode 137

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Emily Sander talks with Dr. Wayne Pernell, a bestselling author and President of Dynamic Leader, Inc., about his book "Choosing Your Power" and the themes of empowerment and personal values. Dr. Pernell discusses the shift from career success to achieving personal significance, and shares practical advice for identifying and nurturing what one truly treasures. They also cover the idea of making decisions based on the person you want to become and the importance of self-reflection and relaxation for creative thinking.

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Who Am I?
If we haven’t yet before - Hi👋 I’m Emily, Chief of Staff turned Executive Leadership Coach. After a thrilling ride up the corporate ladder, I’m focusing on what I love - working with people to realize their professional and personal goals. Through my videos here on this channel, books, podcast guest spots, and newsletter, I share new ideas and practical and tactical tools to help you be more productive and build the career and life you want. 


Time Stamps:
04:27 The Concept of Personal Values
19:09 Understanding Life Transitions
23:31 Core Values vs Peripheral Values
24:43 The Importance of Fun
26:43 Becoming the Person You Want to Be
32:55 Daily Gratitude and Service
36:02 Creating a Culture of Caring
39:13 The Power of Incremental Growth
43:09 The Role of Coaches

Speaker 3:

Welcome back to Leveraging Leadership, where we unpack the art of business leadership. I'm your host, Emily Sander, Chief of Staff turned Executive Leadership Coach. This show is all about finding your points of greatest influence and leveraging them to better serve those around you.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

our guest today is Dr. Wayne Purnell, known as Dr. P, and he has a PhD in clinical psychology. He is the bestselling author of a number of books. I have two of them. Right here, which we'll get into. He's got three, but I've, I've read two and he is the president of dynamic leader, Inc, which is a global coaching and consulting firm. And finally, he is the host of the podcast. One sharp sword, which I had the privilege to be a guest on. And Dr. P and I had a great conversation. We definitely got into some. Deep, meaningful stuff, not just surface level stuff. So we decided at the end of that, Hey, we should do what is known in the industry as a pod swap, and he can come on my podcast. So it's a, it's a pleasure to see your face again, Dr. P and thank you so much for being on leveraging leadership.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yay. Emily, I'm so excited to be here. It's, it's, it's just great to reconnect with you and then to share what we have with your audience. It's so good.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yes, we're going to get into some, a lot of good stuff. So I've picked out a few pieces that I really resonated with from the significance factor. And then I love, love this one, dynamic transitions. And I know you have a third one, which I believe was your first, which is choose your power. And I have not read that one yet, but I'm sure you can tell us about that. So.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

actually have five books out there and I'm writing two

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Oh. Okay. Cool.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

um, yeah, so

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

I'm way behind

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

are, are listed behind me. Um, choosing your power, choosing your power was my

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

your pick

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

and it's still relevant. I mean, we talk about in it. I, I, I wrote it as each of my books. I wrote actually to answer some questions that I was asked choosing your power was kind of the amalgamation of about 300 women that I'd been working with. Um, and, uh, it was, it was in a more global coaching. Where, um, they found themselves, most of them found themselves in kind of codependent relationships. And as a guy, I felt like as a dude, um, I felt like it was really important to insert the male voice and say, look, we need you to show up. Your voice. You do not dim your light for anybody and your voice matters. And it turns out that that book, choosing your power with men and women. And, um, in it, I talk about relationships. I talk about communication. Uh, there are some communication watchwords that I talk about eliminating why, but, and should from your vocabulary being the, the top three of my top 10 list of things to eliminate. Um, and how disempowering it is to be on the other end of that. So, uh, really kind of things we can go into today or another time, or your audience can come to

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

up, choosing your power. Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. I mean, I, I pulled a lot out of the two books that I read. That one sounds fantastic. And thank you for writing that because that voice definitely needs to be heard. And I was thinking that a lot of our listeners, they're driven, they're ambitious, they're climbing the ladder and trying to contribute in their teams in all these different ways. And there's always those. Moments or more seconds where you kind of stop and come up for air a little bit and you kind of look around and telescope around and say, Where am I? And what am I doing? And why am I doing what I'm doing? And what does it all mean? Which I think leads into some of the topics and themes that you really touch on in the two books that I read. So

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yes.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

to kind of Okay. Get into some of those, which dovetails with a little bit of what you and I spoke with on your podcast, which I, I love that part of the conversation so much. So in the significance factor, one of the questions that I loved you asked in determining your personal values is what do you treasure? So I was, I was thinking we could use that as a entry into personal values. And that's kind of the bedrock for a lot of what we want to be thinking about,

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

That's great. I wrote, um, as I said, I wrote each of my books in response to questions that were asked of me over and over again. The Significance Factor is about how do you move from to really, really being person of significance in the world. And, one of the hardest questions to answer. For any of us is what do you treasure or actually it's what do you want? What do you want? Right? That's the hardest question. So what I came up with was what do you treasure? Like if you were to plant a garden, what would you be willing to tend to? To that garden for like, what would, would you be willing to go out and water it? And we did, and there's enough fertilizer out there, but you know, it's like, would you, would you enrich the soil? Would you help your plants to grow? And so if you think about anything that you really want in your life, you could have it, honestly, you could have it. You can't think of anything that you would desire. That you can't actually have, right? So, so, if you're like, Oh, I'd really want, uh, It's available to you. It's different than, oh, it'd be great to have, uh, you know, a Bentley or a Rolls, and it'd be great to have, it's like, it'd be great to have, or do you truly desire it? Because if you truly desire it,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

you know, make it happen.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

it

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

it's sort of like, um, I'm not a big sports guy, but I think, is it Scotty Pippin that's a little guy that's just amazing on the basketball court? Like there's, there's

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah, so there are a couple, there are a couple, like, you don't think of, of little guys as being great in basketball. And at the same time, it's like, well, that's your desire, you can have it. And so what would you really treasure that you would That you would give a part of your resources to, and that is time and money and time all over again. And like, what would you love so much that you would help grow it? And so that's really like, when you do that, you end up, uh, you end up giving to others in order to have this thing grow. that's part of what moves you from success to significance that kind of exchange.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

So I want to key in on two things you said. So first of all, I think there's an interesting distinction between what do you want and what do you treasure? Because to me, what do you want is like, okay, what do you want? I want to, you know, I want a Maserati or I want to, um, you know, get to senior vice president. I want all those things, but what do you treasure? I wouldn't say I, Oh, I treasure being SVP of, you know, customer service. Treasure has a different connotation to me. So I know you kind of use those words in a little bit of a similar way, but

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

No, I,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

is there.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

actually, the distinction that you're making is really important because want is, is actually conflated with wish. Oh, I wish I could have a giraffe. It's like,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah,

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Like it's, and it's like, no, actually I want the money to buy a giraffe. Awesome. Then what would you treasure? Will I treasure, you know, do you really treasure the corner office? Do you really treasure being senior vice president? And if so, and there are people that do, which is

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

sure.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

It's there for you. What are you willing to do plant the seeds, to plant the seeds, to plant the seeds, um, and to help those seeds grow? And, and it's, you know, there's a saying that the, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the next best time is today. right now, what do you treasure? Like take an inventory and it's not a wishlist. It's a real, like, You

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Deep.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

one of the books that's in progress as we're doing this is called Listen to the Whispers. Listen to the Whispers is about letting go of all the shoulds and all the supposed tos and, know, all the voices in your head that aren't yours. So that you can feel pulled from your heart rather than pushed from behind. Oh, you're supposed to go this way No this way. No this way and then you're made to feel bad wrong or stupid for going the wrong quote unquote wrong direction When you feel that tug at your heart like oh, I you know, I paused something. I really loved years ago I I want to get back to that you that back, whatever it is, bring that back into your life Your life changes and you get this joy and happiness and that you haven't experienced in a long time. That's part of the, what would you treasure, right? So,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

to read a quote because you brought up should and I, I love this quote, we get glued onto the conveyor belt of all the stuff that we should do. And I love, I love that quote, because yes, it's like, life will serve you up a buffet, kind of one of those like sushi places you go, there's a conveyor belt, we're like, I should do that. And I should do that. And society wants me to do that. And everyone knows when you get to this stage, you should do this. And so we have, yeah. That option available, but I love the sense of instead of being pushed into something, you're literally being pulled or drawn to it. It's like something is being drawn out of you. And the second distinction that I really liked that you mentioned was it's not taking, it's not hustling or. It's not pushing other people down. It's giving. So when you feel that true pull and, um, being drawn to something, you're compelled to give more of yourself. So I thought that was an interesting difference as well.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Great distinctions, great points. And thank you for highlighting them. one of the things about should, it's interesting. I'll, I'll come back to the, um, choosing your power where I talk about why, but, and should, and, and, you know, should is. is one of those things, and it's been misquoted. The original is from Fritz Perls, who was the founder of Gestalt Psychology back in the 60s, early 60s, back in the 1900s. Um, right? Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt Psychology, was the one who said that shoulds are sh and not to, uh, should all over yourself or anyone else. And the whole idea of the getting on the should conveyor belt is that Is that we've listened to the other voices of authority in our lives. And we needed to do that as kids because that's what kept us safe. That said, doing it now is the foundation for, uh, blame and shame and guilt. And it's like, you're an adult, you're in charge of your life, and you're not broken, so where, like, seriously, where do you want to run your life? Like, where and how? Like, what do you want to be doing if you let go of all the shoulds? Oh, I should do this. Oh, I should do that. That's great. If you don't, what happens? I feel guilty. go of that. What is it you really, truly like spend a, an hour or two in a, in a journal in a quiet place, just writing. These are the things that I really, really want for my life. Awesome. you do that, you start to create a, it's almost like a new biome, you know, you create this new environment for yourself to grow into versus being, you know, kind of pushed down and shoved along. So

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

You mentioned journaling.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

glad you did that call out quote. That's nice.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah, no. And you mentioned journaling. And I think, I forget which book it was, but, uh, You said there's a state of doing, which we all have to be in at certain times. There's also a state of just being, and I think in today's world, we are doing, we are going, we are dinging, we are notifying, we are da, da, da, da, da. And very seldom are we just creating that. Space or biome, as you say, where I can just sit here and be and reflect. And I think that's powerful. And I've struggled with that because I'm like, okay, I know I should sit and meditate and journal and do nothing for 30 minutes for 60 minutes. But I kind of sometimes get this. impending feeling where like all these other things are pushing in. But I think that is so important just to connect with that part of us, because we sh we are, we are, we are humans and we do things, but first and foremost, we are human beings.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Correct. We need to be, we need to come back to human beings versus humans doing. And uh, most people who start meditation or start journaling feel the should of, I should be more productive. There's new research and great writing that's just come out about the power of boredom, that we are so connected that we don't even have time to be bored. And there's something to. able to daydream. creativity sparks and peaks. You take time to not do like, think of all the amazing thoughts you have when you're in the shower, you can't be doing, you've got the rain coming down around you and, and your mind goes. And, um, that's, there's, that's really important. That is part of balance. And so if you think about, Oh, I don't know how to meditate. It's like, think about the state you're in when you're in a shower. You know, you relax and your mind goes and it's like, wow, that's, incredible thoughts that come up. Let them.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

The other place that I get ideas is the gym. So I used to do like Olympic lifts, like deadlifts and squats, like heavy stuff. And when you are lifting that amount of weight, your mind cannot be in other places, it's trying to prevent you from dying essentially. And so all of its focus is there, but in your subconscious, you're still mulling over the different problems and the different issues that you're kind of working through. So And I swear there were a number of times where I would get done with a set and boom, like literally all of a sudden, oh, there's the answer.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yes.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

have to think about or do it. It was just right there for me. And I'm like, wow. So I don't know if that's a form of meditation per se. I think it might be just because some people sit and

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

It

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

yeah, it's moving meditation.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

walk, right? Getting out in the sunshine, um, getting out in nature. And if you're in a big city, just get outside, feel

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

um, without having to do anything. Um, you know, it was Thomas Edison that said, never go to bed without giving your subconscious a problem to work on.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Oh,

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Right? Isn't that great? So it's like, oh, I really want to understand XYZ more. Watch what happens when you wake up. It's like, oh, new

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

that's amazing. Yeah. Because our brain is synthesizing all of the information when we sleep.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

my goodness. Oh my goodness.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

it room to do it. Right?

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

my goodness. I love that. I'm doing that. I'm incorporating that into my routine now. Um,

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

I

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

yes.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

I worked with, um, years ago who had a watching time and

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Whoa.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

had that in his calendar. I'm pointing to my other monitor on my desk. Um, he had that in his calendar and it was rabbit watching time. And what he would do is he had 20 minute, uh, he put in 20 minute blocks throughout the week where his office was on a higher floor and it looked out over a field. And during that 20 minutes, he'd set a timer and he'd turn his chair around away from his desk and he would just look out at the field and he'd watch the rabbits and they'd jump across the field. And that was his way of just unfocusing his eyes from the computer screen from, um, disconnecting from God answer this. Oh my, you know, phones and, you know, buzzing and this text came in and that's do the problems. resolve when you let your brain do the work

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yes.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

let it. So that's a big part of productivity. You know, in terms of a productivity hack, I, you know, I start with clarity. is it you want? What is it you value? And this will, it's actually a segue into the, into the other

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

transitions where I talk about values because what you valued 20 years ago, isn't what you value now. And so, you know, being able to, to look at, well, what do you value there? What's your vision what's your vitality values, vision, vitality, or my three V's that I bring to my exponential success. that I run those three V's like values, vision, vitality. If you ask yourself throughout the day, what's my, what are my values today? What am I working on? How am I showing my values? What vision do I have? Like, can I plan for for five years from now? Like where, where do I need to be? Who do I need to be? vitality, how are you showing up? You know, you choose, a little, you know, tired. It's like, are you going to stay tired? Cause you can, that's a choice. Or are you going to like show back up or are you going to take a pause rejuvenate, to allow that and that in so the rabbit watching time, the shower, the weightlifting, all of that is part of building values, vision, and vitality.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

I love your book, Dynamic Transitions, and I've used that with a number of, of clients because a lot of people come to me with, Hey, Emily, I have a career transition. And they're at about, you know, they're like kind of 40 ish as a general age, age bracket. And they're, they're kind of making a career transition, but they're also. Making a life transition where, Hey, some of the things I valued in my twenties and maybe my thirties has now changed. And a lot of them kind of sense that, but they haven't really fully processed that. So it's an interesting, interesting thing to observe. Um, but one of, I love a number of the questions in your book, but the number one thing that popped out was who am I, if I'm not a. Fill in the blank. Who am I, if I'm not the director of customer success? Who am I, if I'm not the CEO of this company type of thing? And like, for a lot of people, that's a showstopper. That's like, Whoa, slam on the brakes. I don't know. I have a blank canvas in front of me.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

I'm wondering,

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

And

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

I'm wondering that what's one of your opening questions. I'm wondering if you could talk about that.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah, it's it's the opening question because that was the impetus for that book. Actually, I had just finished speaking on stage at the Ritz Carlton in Southern California, A gentleman comes up to me and he almost, it was almost like he grabbed me by the lapels and he's like, I, I need to talk to you. I'm like, okay. He goes, look, I, um, I'm retiring. that's awesome. Congratulations. He's like, no, I, you don't understand. I, and he was like, getting emotional. He's like, I don't know who I am. If I'm not a dentist. His whole identity was being the business owner as an entrepreneur, uh, being somebody of service, being somebody who knows about medical dental, like being an expert in a field, and he's retiring. And so, The question who am I if I'm not a what a student a partner in a relationship right, so people go through those transitions a a business owner a like who am I if I'm not and so if you think about We all go through transitions and it goes back to values and the values are this In your twenties, you want to be seen. Look at me. Look how potent I am in the world. Right? Potent, powerful, sexy, dynamic, all of those things. Awesome. That's what your twenties are about. your choices are made on those values. In your thirties, it's about stability. I got the job. I know, I know my expertise. I can get gig after gig after gig. It is A smooth sailing in your forties, you start to go, okay, I need to look at legacy because you've probably connected with somebody. It is likely most people in that progression will have connected with a partner. They may or may not have kids. They're also looking at what can they leave for the next generation. What mark. Can they leave? That's a little more significant in your fifties. You start to look at, at health and adventure. It's like I've earned it, darn it. And I want to be, I want to keep my vitality. in your sixties, it sort of brings it all together. And in your seventies, you're like, now what? Um, and you're still like, depending on your vitality level, you're either choosing to wind down or you're choosing to enhance. Right. So, uh, and I've watched this, um, um, And, and so really think about, like, we have values that are core, what I call core versus peripheral values. And our core values are typically things like integrity and honesty, love, family. Um, it could be faith, right? Those things don't tend to change over time. And the peripheral values are the ones that do change over time. And it's where we put our attention. So the core values are sort of the ones that drive us and keep us still. Kind of steady the peripheral values are the ones that we make choices based off of look at me It's like oh, I need the latest phone or camera Right. It's like I want to look good Versus well, I I am stable. I gotta I got I have money that I can spend it's like, okay So are you investing for the future somewhere in there? It's like oh there is a future There's the realization that there's a future. And then in your forties, it's, Oh, I, have things I can offer. I'm at a place where I can own something. And so a lot of people that have been doing the gig thing become entrepreneurs. And so

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yes.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

a big shift.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

And I think too, even when you mentioned in your twenties and thirties and then the switch into your forties, I still heard that same theme of kind of, um, like taking, or the term that came to mind was peacocking. So we kind of like strut our and shake our feathers and then it switches. It kind of transitions into what can I give back? What can I contribute? What can I pay forward? Which was, which was, uh, An interesting one as well. And as you were mentioning the core values and peripheral values, one thing that changed for me, I think, like in my early to mid thirties was fun. So fun is a value. And believe me, like in my twenties, I like tried to. Present like I was having a lot of fun, but I was, I was not. And in my thirties and certainly forties, fun is more front and center. Like, what do I enjoy? What do I get excited about? Um, what do I want to go out and do with my day? And, and fun is not the only thing, but it's definitely in there where, where, how it wasn't before.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

I think it's really important to realize that you own your day. It doesn't matter if you're working for a company, you're the one that put your calendar together. the one that chose to work there. So you own your day, right? That, that ultimately what makes you powerful in the world is to accept full accountability. Like, Oh, I chose to work for this company. They have mandatory meetings. I'm choosing to negotiate out of this thing that used to be mandatory, or I'm choosing to make that, Um, an insignificant part of my day or wow, that's the key point of my day. Um, And then the other piece of the day, I own, I put what I want on my calendar. it's, it's just so powerful to recognize you get to choose like throughout your day, where do you build in fun and your fun changes. Right. As you know, from when you were a kid to where you are now, your fun changes. And so really important. I think the so what of all this Emily is that if you look back 20 years, you know, you're not the same person. If you look back 10 years, you can go. Yeah, I'm not the same person it was then either 5 years, 2 years, weeks. Yesterday, you're still, you're not the same person you were yesterday. And I think that's really important to realize because if you go back to the, what do I want? What would I really treasure? you make that a, a place to, to go to, then it's not, I want this thing. And this is a key point that people miss all the time. want this thing isn't the destination. I want to become the person that can have this thing is the destination. And so you need to look at what values do you need to start incorporating? What decisions will you make as the person who has this thing, right? So whether that's a great car or a mansion, or you're traveling all the time. Um, or you're living in a different location or you have a different partner. Who, who do you need to be to have those things? Cause otherwise it's just a wish, right? And so you start, that's why values, vision, vitality. That's why start with the values. Well, there's this goal. Awesome. What are the values that surround that goal? And how do you envision those playing out? What are the, what are all the things that go with that? And then what energy do you need to bring yourself there?

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yes, you have a series of questions and I'm going to paraphrase as best I can, but one of them is, who will you be and what roles will you play for whom in 20 years? And so that's kind of a long range one. And then bring in, you know, who are you becoming in the next 10 years? And then who are you becoming in the next year? And a wrapper around all of those things is. The decisions you make and the choices you make right now, what would you do if you had already become those people in 20 years and 10 years in one year down the line? Make those decisions from that point of view and it will lead you in the right path. So let me know if that's somewhere close

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

That's exactly right. Like whoever said, that must have been brilliant. No,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

you should read his book. Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

read this book. Uh, there's a reason, like I really love that book. I love dynamic transitions. The reason that I love it so much is that it does answer those questions. It's, you know, I, I got over the. Am I allowed to love my own book that much? Um, it's kind of like, uh, is that an ego thing? Or do I really do I really love it? And it's like, you know, if somebody else had written it, I'd still love it. And it's That the concepts are so solid that if you think about who you need to become, start that now. Don't, like, you don't wait to become that stuff.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

that person, that, you know, it's like, start, you, you start making decisions based on the person you want to be. So that time rolls. It's not like you reach a destination three years out. I'm going to all of a sudden be this. It's like, no, today you're going to be this so that in three years you're actually living that way. And that is what most people miss. And if you can, if, if there's anything that comes out of our time together today, that's the key. That is the key is that you start today.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

And I think, I think it was Angela Duckworth who talked about, um, goal fusion and she was talking to the Seattle Seahawks, which is my football team. And she was basically saying, you know, what's your ultimate goal? And they were all like, win the Superbowl, win a Superbowl. And she was like, okay, that's great. What are you doing today? And she had joined one of their practices and they're like, well, we're doing passing drills. We're doing footwork drills. And she was like, no, today you are winning the Superbowl. And they were becoming who they needed to in order to win the Super Bowl. And so that frame of mind, you could see on their faces. It's just like, Oh, today I'm winning the Super Bowl. It just changes. So it kind of, when you were saying that, that reminded me of when I heard that, I'm like, Oh, today I'm winning the Super Bowl. Okay, let's get on it.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah. So what are you doing today? Today? I own a mansion today. I drive the best car today. I travel the world the way I want to today. I have the most amazing partner. Why? Right? You can't, you can't, uh, manifest or, or, um, impose on another person. you can change you to be the most amazing partner so that you attract the

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yes.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

partner. Right. So, um, who are you being today to make that happen?

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

And one of the questions I asked myself, not in this elegant kind of sequence that you've outlined, but I kind of got there in some kludgy way when I decided to go from corporate to coaching practice full time was, I wanted to be contributing to the To the people into the world in, in a, in a, in the way that I wanted essentially. So I was kind of doing piecemeal stuff with, um, direct reports, people on my team, colleagues, and helping them with those one on one interactions. But I'm like, Emily, that's clearly the favorite part of your day. That's clearly where you get the most meaning from what if you woke up and you've got to do that all day long. And so it was contributing to. The way I wanted to, or maybe the, um, to my highest potential or the optimal amount, but that was a significant factor in why I decided to put all the chips on the table to go all in on coaching. So it was part of this process you described in your book. I didn't know about it then, but it was.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Good for you. And you know, the, the forthcoming book, I have two, one is creating a culture of caring and the other is listen to the whispers, listen to the whispers talks about risk. Like it's, It's not easy to say, you know what? I value this so much. I'm going to shift from the stability of this J O B job and actually go for what I want. a big deal. That's a

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

And, and the other side of that, Emily, is that, know, one of the things that I talk about personally, I wake up, uttering basically two things, right? So the first one is thank you, right? I, I begin my day in gratitude and it's like, thank you. And I don't have to be religious to be spiritual, to be connected to, right? So it's like, I was asked once, well, who are you thinking? like, well, It doesn't really matter. You know, we each have, we each have our own connection. And so allow yourself to feel connected enough to go, wow, thank you. I'm here I'm here dot, dot, dot. Right. And, and so the second thing I may or may not say this one out loud. Thank you. I always say out loud. one is whom do I get to serve greatly today?

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Mm.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

And or how do I get to serve greatly today? Right? So it's either, wow, who's on my calendar and how am I going to show up for them? Or how do I just serve to my fullest? Right? Um, for example, you don't come to a podcast. going, I had a rough night and, um, don't know how I'm going to show up. And, uh, just get through this one. It's

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yeah.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

I shoot, right. I choose you choose that. If you're really feeling that bad, it's not going to be a podcast. It's not, it's not serving anybody. Right. And so the same thing is true. Every time you walk through a door, who's on the other side of that door, how do you serve them greatly? And that is a huge question. you lived your life today, as you listen to this podcast, if you lived your life today with that question, whether it's at an office, or at your home, or going shopping, how am I choosing to show up for whoever's on the other side of that door? should see me going grocery shopping. I go into a grocery store like I own it. And it's not. Smug or snotty. It's not like I own this place. It's not that it's more like wow. All right. How do I, how do I choose to connect? And it's not I'm hiding because I'm shopping. It's like I'm here to be a beacon of light and energy for anybody that chooses to see it. That's

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Wow.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Right. That's my choice. that. What if we did that in today's world? Oh my gosh. Right.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

to go grocery shopping with you. That sounds like an amazing experience.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

It is. It's well, it takes two hours, but you know, Hey,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

That's amazing. Those, those were like a quarter minute, a quarter second there. So listeners can rewind and listen to all of Dr. P's great things. But Dr. P, to round us out here, what are you working on right now? What's going on in, in your world?

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah. So we're, we're at the point of launching this great initiative called a culture of caring. I've been putting together a content kind of quarterly building quarterly content pieces management. I am. an elite mind state coach. I do leadership development. so I, I work with people who know there's more, they ache for more. And they want to contact me because it's like, help me break through to that more thing. Um, if they know they're bigger than the life they're leading. And so that's been what I've been doing. And I realized, wow, I really want to reach like my BHAG, my big, hairy, audacious goal is to, is to positively impact a billion people's lives. That's about an eighth of the world population. And I could do that one to one. I could do that via podcast. I could do that. And, and, and, you know, I have a TEDx with million views on it and like it's happening and. To really get a great ripple effect, I've really, I've wanted to, to impact management in corporations, organizations, because managers are leaders, and they need to be able to communicate up and down and across. And so I've been working on this program called, uh, culture of caring, and built it in quarters. So that it's 12 weeks, five days a week great content that comes like it's about eight minutes at a time. And you, you know, it's less than 10 minutes. You can, you can watch a quick video and go, Oh, now I'm inspired for the day, something to think about. Right? So I'll give a topic, I'll give a, uh, a story about that topic, and then I'll give an action list. That's a great way to live your day. It's like, oh, here's this, this thing to think about. Here's how it relates and this, how I can apply it. Awesome. So I did that. So 12 weeks five days a week is 60 pieces of content. And then I did it for four quarters instead of

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Wow. Wow.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

which makes 60 pieces times four is 240 pieces of content. So there's a year's worth of content you can tap into. And, um, I'm just so proud of it. I was part of the development of it was working with a great team. I had this former wall street journal, uh, interviewer, a journalist asking me about my content pieces. And he would do that. And we went through 240 pieces

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Wow.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

uh, which were longer than 10 minutes to get. To get the 8 to 10 minutes of content bring to, uh, uh, a script and presentation. So it's, um, that's sort of the behind the scenes. I mean, what you get to do with it is to become a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better every single day. And I think of it as sort of the, like reaching a boiling point. You know, there's the why when I talk about exponential success, it's like at some point there's this massive leap. so if you think about hot water, water is warm and then it's hot. The difference between degrees Fahrenheit and 212 degrees Fahrenheit hot water to boiling water. the same one degree difference all the way up to that point, but when you move from two 11 to two 12, that one degree is everything in terms of turning it to boiling. And so if you think about that for your life. You build a little and you build a little and you build a little. And then all of a sudden, Oh, dang, it all comes together. How amazing is that? That's, that's you doing it for yourself. And that's the, that's the idea behind this program that as a manager, you have so much more power than you think. they're all the questions of what if I don't know it all? What if I want to know it all? How do I use my power? Is it positional power or is it like really relational power? Um, I'm just so proud of this program. It's, it's kind of exciting.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Well, it seems like you've, you've built up such an impressive body of work as it is, but this is kind of your boiling point or your magnum opus where it's like, okay, here's my big contribution. And so I can, I can hear the excitement in your voice and see it in your face. So,

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

um, if people, if people want to know more about that, know more about your books, reach out to you, where is the best place to go?

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

Yeah, thank you. I, you know, there, there's a ton of free content that I offer to before you, before you work with me. If you wanted to, um, learn a little bit more, go to Wayne Pernell dot com. It's that simple. Just spell my name right and you'll find it. Wayne W. A. Y. N. E. Pernell, P E R N E L L dot com. I've got a blog. If you look at my blog, it's, uh, every week it's Wednesdays with Wayne. um, and so you'll get a little bit of me in your, in your inbox for free. Um, if you look at, uh, If you want to do a masterclass, I've got a 40 minute masterclass. So that's available to you. It's called powerful presence and it really drives you from desire, helping you to define desire to destination. What is that outcome? What's it look like? So those are free and available on my website and, um, all the books are listed there. Uh, everything I'm working on is listed there. I also have this new, Um, that I've employed. It's, I call it my mini me and it is, I am using, AI where I fed, uh, decades of content into AI. you could ask, you could ask the mini Dr. P

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Wow.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

and you get an answer in my voice. You'll get like my content coming back. So I encourage you go to waynepernell. com. Go in the look in the lower right corner. You'll see this little chat with the mini Dr. P

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Wow.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

and it's, it's, that's kind of cool. It's creepy. Um, I'm, I'm You know, it's like,

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

And also kind of cool. I've never heard about it used that way. So that's a very creative, innovative way to, to use AI.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

and I've always said, you can ask me anything. And now you can ask, like, if you're too afraid to ask me directly, um, and you, you needn't be like, I'm pretty open and available. Um, Reach out as you wish, there's contact form or, and, or, you know, start there, right?

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Beautiful.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

to work with me or to find out more about like the workshops that I do, April and October, um, to do one to one coaching, that's all available too. But, you know, you, you're doing this amazing coaching too, Emily, and it's like, um, of the reasons that we're connected is the belief in the abundance. Oh, you're a coach. I can't tell you anything. It's like, of course you're a coach and there are, you know, like people who were successful have coaches.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

Yes.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

um, even coaches have coaches. And

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

I have a team of coaches. Yes, absolutely.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

it's why we continue to be successful is that there's this outside perspective, what can a coach offer an outside perspective? You can't ask a fish what water is like, because the fish doesn't know not water, right? So if you're in your own life. You don't know anything beyond what you've experienced, you know, it might exist. Maybe that's what a coach does, like to offer you a perspective and, and to encourage you to, um, just get a little bit more uncomfortable here or try something that you're not used to there. And, um, that's what we do. And

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

I mean, yeah, the question here, like for coaches is who am I, if I'm not filling the blank and core values and self worth is an inside job. So go find your coach, find the right one for you. But

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

exactly.

emily-sander_1_07-30-2024_083836:

P it's been an absolute pleasure. We should definitely do this again. I will read all of your books and we can talk about anything else you have going on, but I'm a huge supporter of you. So I love what you're doing and thank you for what you're doing. And it's been great having you on.

dr-wayne-pernell_1_07-30-2024_083835:

That's great, Emily. And I'm a big fan of yours. Um, glad we connected. We connected on the one sharp sword podcast. great to have been connected that way. And, um, uh, it's a delight to join you here. So we'll be doing this again, either on my show, your show, or, um, just informally. Really great family. Thank you.

Speaker 4:

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