Leveraging Leadership

Breaking the Money Myths That Hold You Back

• Emily Sander • Season 1 • Episode 181

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Money mindset expert Pericles Rellas explains why money can’t buy happiness and talks about the concept of a “financial thermostat”—the internal setting that influences how we earn, keep, and relate to money. He shares practical ways to check your current money mindset, challenges common beliefs like “money is the root of all evil,” and uses relatable analogies, such as treating money like a relationship. He also gives guidance on how to form healthier habits and thinking patterns around money.

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Who Am I?

If we haven’t yet before - Hi👋 I’m Emily, Chief of Staff turned Executive Leadership Coach. After a thrilling ride up the corporate ladder, I’m focusing on what I love - working with people to realize their professional and personal goals. Through my videos here on this channel, books, podcast guest spots, and newsletter, I share new ideas and practical and tactical tools to help you be more productive and build the career and life you want. 

 

Time Stamps:

00:54 Does Money Make People Happy?
02:41 Money and Identity
06:22 Generational Money Mindsets
09:01 Understanding Financial Thermostats
13:45 Relationship with Money vs. Significant Other
17:14 Healthy Money Mindset
21:13 Proper Use of Money
24:27 Breaking Free from Societal Expectations
26:38 Rewiring Money Mindsets
30:47 Building a Healthy Relationship with Money
32:01 Aligning Money with Personal Values
34:20 Finding Personal Empowerment
37:54 Resources for Financial Growth

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Our guest today is Pericles Relis and he is a money mindset expert. Pericles, welcome to the show.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Thank you for having me, Emily. It's great to be here.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

You have the distinction of being the first and only Pericles I know in real life. So that is, that's the awesome name by the way.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Thank you very much. And you can never say you've never met a Pericles from this

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

There we go. That's right. That's right. Good job, Pericles mom and dad. Um, so Does money make people happy?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

No, simple

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

And we're done.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

answer. Right. And I'll see you later. Right. It is one of the biggest questions or I think biggest challenges that people face is they, they have this belief that money's going to bring them happiness. And so they jump. On to the hamster wheel of, if I just make more money, I'll be happy. And then they get to that place and they're still not happy. So they think, well, I'll just make a little bit more money and I'll be happy and then more money and more money. And so they end up in this cycle. That's never ending of making more money trying to achieve something that money can never provide. It cannot provide us happiness. It can't provide us with joy or fulfillment or satisfaction. can enhance those things if we already have them, but it cannot be the source of them. The source of those things, happiness, joy, fulfillment, all come from within. And so that's one of the things that I focus on in the work I do with with my clients is understanding their relationship to money and understanding what money can and cannot provide.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

I love that. So it's, it's understanding its place in the world and in your world. So it is a valuable, it is a valuable, um, thing to exchange for other goods and services and we can talk about that, but it's not the ultimate end all, it can't be that or else you're, you're chasing, you're chasing smoke, you're chasing fog.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

correct. And then disappointed in the process

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah,

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

down on the idea that it will and we just continue to grind that out and we end up just burned out unhappy and unfulfilled.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

I have done all of those things, all of the above check, check, check. So, I mean, early in my career, it was, it, I mean, it was my title and my salary. And that's what I almost measured my worth on, which sounds so, you know, to say now, but in my twenties, in my early twenties, it was my title and how much I made. And, and that little thing for me, it was almost more the title, which was a proxy for how much I paid. So when people at parties would say like, Oh, like, what do you do? I was so proud and happy to say, Oh, I'm the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, um, which, which was. Yes.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

We actually get, it displaces who we truly are and it becomes our identity. The clothes we wear, what people

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Mm-Hmm?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

the car that we drive, the things that we own. We, we live in an Instagram world or a social media world as it were, and we, we want people to think that we have money. We want them to think A certain way about us, and we do all we can to make them think that rather than actually having it, letting go of what people think about us and actually having the thing that we want. And when we have the thing that we want, what's ironic is all those other things disappear.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Mm-Hmm.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

I don't care what people think about me. I don't care that I need to drive a certain kind of car or do a certain thing or where a certain thing. Have a certain thing. Do I like having those things? Yes, there are things in my life that I choose to have, they aren't the source of my joy, happiness and fulfillment. They're simply an amplification of that. And that's a distinction. I think it's really important if I can just kind of veer off for a second is people will often put these labels on money. Money is the root of all evil. Money will corrupt. Money will make whatever the negative label is. Excuse me. Money does not do those things. Money simply amplifies who we already are. And the important thing is as we start to make more money, we start to see the amplification of certain behaviors or traits. And it's important and incumbent upon us to start to notice us. Ooh, I was a little rude to that person. Okay. I don't like that. Trade about me.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

not a good look.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

trade. Right? And we see many people who start to get more and more money who allow those traits to flourish. And that's all on them. It's not the money. It's not that the money made them horrible people or mean people or nasty or rude or whatever. It's just that it allowed the amplification of that. And they chose to follow that path rather than, you know what? That's not who I am. I'm going to continue to respect people, honor people, cherish people.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah. Yeah. Someone smarter than me said Power reveals someone's character. It doesn't, you know, you don't become someone else when you become a powerful person or have that role. It reveals who you were already, which is kind of frightening in a lot of ways. But, you know, you think about like fame and, oh my gosh, we have these. These little kids basically who are so famous at a young age and it just kind of, you know, that, that morphs their whole growth and I'm wondering to, um, money and our kind of preoccupation with it is nothing new. I mean, certainly it has amplified. It's like the nth degree, right? But. We've had to deal with this for thousands of years, like people were talking about, you said, you know, money being the root of all evil thousands of years ago. Um, so, so why do we do that? And, and why does this? Hold this back from paying attention to what's, what's actually most important.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yeah, we're, we're, you're talking about generational mindsets around money and it's, it's something we don't necessarily talk about. It's kind of like. We live in a house, but we never really talk about the house. We just live in the house, but we've never stopped to look at You know, is how is this house made? Is it a reflection of who I am? Do I like the way it looks? Do I like the way it interacts and and how I live inside of it? Or is it just, this is the way it's always been. And we're just going to kind of live in it. And that's our relationship to money. For the most part, if you're like me, I grew up in a, in a household where no one ever spoke about money. It was off topic. You never asked anybody else about how much money they made. You certainly never told anyone how much money you made. And we never even talked about the dynamics of money, understanding the basics and the fundamentals of money. And so you can combine that with us living in a society where everyone wants to look like they're a player and they've got lots of money, but they have no idea to interact, how to balance a checkbook or understand how money flows in their lives. And then they start to make a lot of money. And then all of a sudden they end up upside down.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

of the reasons we see 70 to 80 percent of all lotto winners going broke within the first five years. We see, uh, professional athletes who've made millions, sometimes hundreds of millions of dollars in the course of very successful careers, go bankrupt with a very short, a short time of. Why does this happen? It's because we fundamentally don't understand our relationship to money and we think we do. It's kind of like saying, you know what? The electricity isn't working in my home. I'm going to go start digging into the wires to figure out what happened. And I have no idea how electricity works. Well, I'm going to get hurt. It is very, very possible that I'm going to get hurt. And it's the same thing with money. And I'll give you the analogy that I, or the distinction I've created around money because money is a currency. And as a currency, it flows like a current, just like electricity. It has a distinct way in flowing and that it flows in a circle. So it flows to us, through us and away from us and back around to us, through us. We intersect that circle through us and away from us and all, and it just keeps happening. And then there's a reservoir on the side that we get to keep because of this circular flow of money blocks anywhere in that flow or blocks everywhere in the flow. And I call this our financial thermostat. It's our money mindset, but I like financial thermostat because it's very sexy and that that financial thermostat is just like a thermostat in our home. It's only designed to do one thing, maintain stasis, keep the room at a certain temperature. Our financial thermostats are designed exactly the same way. We are set at a certain amount of money that we can earn a certain amount of money that we can keep as well as our thoughts, feelings, and emotions around money. And so until we understand what our financial thermostat setting is and then how to reset it so that we can earn more, we can keep more, we can have that experience of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. We are doomed to continue to. Reese redo the same experience over and over and over again, which is why a lot of people don't make a lot of money, but they disappear a lot of money. And at the end of the month, they can't figure out where their money, where'd my money go? I don't know where it went. their financial thermostat disappearing the money, or some people they can make a lot of money. They can keep a lot of money, but they're still unhappy. They're not fulfilled. That's again, a function of their financial thermostat. So going back to the circle, we want to understand what are blocks in the flow of money. So we've got blocks in the flow of money coming to us, which can look like, I hate my boss. I think money's the root of all evil. I think money corrupts. Uh, I hate the wealthy. If you're wealthy, you did something wrong to get there. These are all blocks in the flow of money coming to us and will limit our ability to earn money or to have money come to us blocks in the flow of money going away from us look like. I hate paying my taxes. I hate paying my fair share. I hate paying people what they ask or paying them on time. We're always trying to negotiate them down, trying to get it cheaper and cheaper or we're just holding on the money. Those are all blocks in the flow of money going away from us. And when we start to clear those blocks out, what we find is that money starts to flow to us more abundantly, more freely and effortlessly. And that includes that reservoir on the side that we get to keep, and that reservoir on the side is what I call wealth. and prosperity. So we're always gonna have money that flows to us, through us and away from us. That's our home. You know, that's our expenses that that we have every single month. But that reservoir on the side is where we start to create wealth and prosperity.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

So if someone's listening and saying, okay, I'm, I'm hearing all this other stuff. How do I take a pulse check on my relationship with money now? I mean, you threw out a few questions there, but is there like, okay, let's just do a baseline, like, where are we at today? Um, taking inventory of like, yeah,

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yeah, this is

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

are,

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

question. And it's really simple. It's the easiest thing to do. If you want to know what your financial thermostat setting is right now, just look around. How is it for you right now? Are you stuck not being able to earn more? Do you keep bumping up that to the, up against that glass ceiling? Are you. able to earn what you want, but you don't know where the money goes every single month. You just can't hold onto it. It slips through your fingers. It's just a mystery to you. Are you constantly stressed or worried or anxious about money or none of those? Are you able to earn as much as you want, keep as much, and you have this sense of fulfillment. All of those things are tells as to where your financial thermostat setting is.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Is it helpful to kind of ask around, um. What is your belief around money? Cause you talked about, I mean, at, at our core, it's like the beliefs and the values we have. And if, you know, if I think that, uh, wealthy people didn't deserve that, or you, or you don't deserve to be wealthy or something like that, that's a whole mindset that's going to elicit, you know, certain feelings and behaviors and, and go to the things you're talking about. But is there something at the core where it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, or maybe, you know, we've mentioned the money is the root of all evil. I forget the exact quote, but the extension of that is if you, um, like have it as the idol in your life. And you had mentioned that before where, Hey, if you're using this properly as a tool or a resource, or you see it for what it is and you're, and you can be grateful for it and have some fun with it and also put some other parts of it to good use as a good, uh, resource. Um, steward or whatever, but you see it for what it is, then that becomes something different. Is there a way for someone to get a handle on like, Ooh, where am I there? Or am I like viscerally, like emotionally, like I have to have it, I have to get more of it. You're going

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

I love this this question and I and I've I like to relate to our relationship to money to our relationship to a significant other. I think they mirror each other perfectly. So imagine. have this person in your life they're the person that you want in your life. Well, I want money in my life. Well, I want this person in my life. And yet I ignore them. don't think about them. I don't try to understand them. I don't try to interact with them. I don't try to expand my relationship to them. I just expect them to be there when I want them. I demand that they give me what I want when I want it. And then when I get it, I have no gratitude, no appreciation, none of that for it. I just let it go and move on. And then the next time I want it, I want it. I want it. I want it. That's how most of us relate to money. I expect it. I demand it. I have no understanding of it. And yet I expect it to be there when I want it to be there. And then when I do get something with it, I have no appreciation for it. I'm just looking at what's next. Imagine if we treated our significant other in that way. would be a very short lived relationship. It would be quick unless it was just you or two people who are into dysfunctional relationships. I'm not saying that that couldn't be the case, but certainly it's not the ideal. I don't think for most people, and if it is for you, great. I don't have any judgment or opinion about that. Live your life and be you. But if you're not someone who's committed to that, really look at, is that the way I'd want to be treated by my significant other? Or is that how I treat my significant other? If we relate to money in the same way, do you appreciate it when it shows up? Are you constantly looking at new ways to expand your understanding of money and your relationship to money? Map that onto your personal relationship. Are you constantly striving to understand your significant other better and expand that relationship? because that's the same thing we want to be doing with money. And if we're not doing that, then we're most likely on a path that's not going to provide what we are looking for. Do we expect our significant other to provide us with happiness? You need to make me happy. You need to be the source of my joy and happiness. Well, that is a very weak relationship in my opinion. And the same is true for money. I expect money to bring me happiness. Well, it's probably not going to be able to do that

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

to be disappointed.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Exactly. And can it enhance my joy and happiness? Absolutely. The right person in your life can bring more joy and happiness in your life. Same thing with things. Do the things around me bring me a sense of joy and happiness? Absolutely. They amplify it, but they are not the source of my joy and happiness.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah, I think that's a good point. And as we were speaking, I was like, it's, it's a significant other relationship, money relationship. You can have a transactional relationship or a committed relationship.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yes.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

and either way, you know, you want the committed relationship. So,

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yes. That's a brilliant way of putting it. Thank you for pointing that out. That's really insightful.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah. Okay. So we'll use that as a quick proxy. So if you're listening, what type of relationship do you have with money? Is it more transactional like boom, boom, boom? Or is it more committed and engaged and longterm? So once we're there, we're kind of like, okay, I have a baseline. How should we start thinking about money? Like what is a healthy money mindset?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

The, I think the first thing to look at is what do I want money for

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yes.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

and what it can and cannot provide. So oftentimes people will say, well, I want money for security. Money can't provide you with security. It that's, that's a, a false narrative. I've worked with people who are, uh, billionaires and they're, I've certified that they're billionaires and there is. Oftentimes this is not across the board, but this is just a demonstration of that. I've worked with people who have billions of dollars and they have no sense of security.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Wow.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

with people who have billions of dollars and they have no sense of joy and satisfaction, no sense of happiness. It's not the money that can provide it. It comes from here. So being really clear on what money can and cannot provide. And then what is it you want that money for? People don't really look at, What it is they want. Look, I want a significant other to share my life with, to travel with, to have adventures with, but I'm also clear that there are things they can't provide. And I would never go to them to and expect them to provide that because it's outside of what they can provide. Be really clear of what money can and can't provide. And then look to, well, what do I want? Well, I want a home. Great. I want to save for my retirement. Great. I want to be able to travel. I want to buy certain things and I want to save things. I want to save and create prosperity for myself. I don't want to concern myself with what other people think. I want to focus on what I think about myself. Am I living my best life? Am I doing the things that I want to do? Or am I more concerned about what other people think about me? The concerns about what other people think about you are is going to drive the show. And it's going to lead to choices that won't necessarily create a sense of security, a sense of joy and happiness, and certainly won't allow you to create and build the kind of wealth that you're looking for. So I think looking at those things on a regular basis and making sure you're truing it up on a regular basis. Is this consistent with who I am? Is this choice consistent with who I want to be in life? And if it is great, and if it isn't, jettison it and re re up to or realign yourself with who you truly are.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah. I've met. So it's funny. I, for, I don't know. The longest time, my belief is, Oh, money will make you happy if you have enough and you don't need to have like billions of dollars, but you know, millions would be nice and like, you know, hundreds of thousands would be really cool too. Um, I remember in my twenties, I was making, it was like 35 or 38. Something started with the three 38, 000 and someone, we had like this person come in and say, look, um, money can't buy you happiness. There's been studies that say if you, if you reach like 70, 000, like anything above that won't make you happier. And I was like, I need to experience that to like really believe that lesson. But as I got older and I met these founders who were, you know, multi millionaires, some of them were so wildly unhappy and didn't sense of who they were and their, their sense of worth could be. Like blown, like, like blown away with like, you know, the smallest breeze and they were constantly like moving and proving and fronting and doing all these things to try to prove to people that they were this image. And I was like, God, that looks tiring. That looks tiring. Um, so how do we take a. A second and say, or if you're listening, you might take a second and say, why are you spending the money in the way that you are is like, if you want a nice car, is that cause you really enjoy cars and like every time you get in it, it makes you feel happy or do you want people to see that car? Um, are you kind of buying this thing to, for the perception of others? Or like, is that something you actually. Enjoy. Now you mentioned don't use money for what it's not meant for because that's just like using a hammer, a hammer for like a surgeon, a surgery tool. That's not what it's meant for. Things are going to go wrong, but use it for what it is meant for. So can you talk through some of those things where like here is a proper use or, or a potential proper use for money?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

I think this is distinct for each individual person. What are the things That you would like in your life. And, and before I go down that path, just quickly, I think there's also something for people who make a lot of money and who are happy. They have a sense of, and people who don't make a lot of money who are happy. They have a sense of. What is enough? They

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

relationship to enough. This is enough for me. I am absolutely happy with this. They're not driven like the founders you were talking about. Like, Ooh, I've got to get to the next level. Or, or the only way that I'm going to be fulfilled is if my parent says, I'm proud of you because you made enough, or I beat so and so and

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

of us and driving us to do things that are not consistent with, I think, who we truly are. But having that sense of enough is going to really source you well. And that doesn't mean that that sense of enough can't go up a little bit and up a little bit, but being really grounded in, I have enough. I have enough. Most people in the United States have enough. Even the ones who are who are struggling. If you juxtapose what they have compared to what some people in the world have, would be praying to have what we have in the United States, right? So just that sense of enough now going back to what you're talking about. It really is distinct for each individual person. What is it you want in your life? What is it? Mhm. You want in your life, not for other people to see, not because somebody told you that you needed to have it. But truly, what is it you want for some people that may be travel, loving to travel, loving? You may be somebody who likes to collect things. You really enjoy that. You may be somebody that just likes to relax at home and have family around you and have friends around you. know, my sister loves games and her house is full of games. And whenever there are people over there, people over all the time, they're playing games. I love going to visit her because it's like, okay, what game do you want to play? And we'll sit down and it's such a great experience just playing games and interacting and being connected with people. So find for yourself, what is that truly? Sourceful thing for you. The thing that brings you not not that you're getting that source of joy and happiness, but it enhances and elevates your sense of joy, happiness and fulfillment. And don't be driven by what other people think it should be. Get really clear about it for yourself. And I, I guarantee most people don't know they're

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Oh, oh, for sure.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

of, I've been told it's got to look like this. It's got, I got to have the fast cars, the pretty cars. I've got to have the expensive clothes and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, the name brand stuff, but it's not truly who they are. And if they let all that noise get quiet and they just. Listen to their heart. They'll get really clear about this is what I want. I don't, I don't need to worry about those other things anymore. I'm just going to focus on this and then surrender to that and go for it unabashedly and don't let anyone else squash it because

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

So when I want to highlight something you just said, so everyone listening, every person listening, your mind has been inundated with messages about what you should be doing with money and, and how you should be presenting yourself. Like, especially if you live in the U S right. Like, All the marketing, all the social media, all the commercials, everything we see every day. We're just in it. We're like a fish in water. And you have to realize like that's just the environment you're in. So to think you're somehow removed from that is, um, is, is just false. So, um, I love what you said because, um, I can relate to this so much and I wish I had met you earlier in my life because it would have been so much easier. But before it was like, I have to earn money. I always have to have more. And there was just like visceral knee jerk, unhealthy reaction to that. And now I'm like, look, money is nice. You, you have problems when you don't have money and you have problems when you do have money. Which ones would you rather have? I would rather have the ones where you do have money, but it's not the, uh, The, the chasing after my worth sense anymore. It's like, look, I have a peace of mind with things. Um, I spend money on experiences and memories. Like I'm going to go create a memory. Let's go take a trip here and create a memory with people I love. Um, I want to be able to say, Hey, I see something in town that needs some financial help. And I'm able to help them because I know what that's going to do. And not just. It brings me a lot of joy and, uh, and fulfillment, but if people are trying to make this transition that you've, you've outlined and they're, they're, they're picking up what you're laying down and like, I get the general gist of what he's saying, but, Ooh, there's some emotional poles or some things that are holding them back. What are some common things that you see hold people back and how would you suggest, you know, breaking through those?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yeah. We, we all have, as you said, been pre programmed throughout our lives for how we should relate to money, what we should do with money, how much we should earn, all of those things. And those are just simple, Neural pathways that have gotten wired and fired and wired together for sometimes decades and decades. You need to earn more. You need to earn more. You need to earn more money. Money doesn't go on trees. You got to work hard. Making money is hard. Money is the root of all evil, whatever. It's like a jute box. You press a one and Boom. This is the reaction that we have because of that neural pathway. So the thing to do is to constantly bring critical thinking to each and every interaction that you have with money. So we're moving it out of that automatronic part of our brain. That you know, those grooves that have been just run so long that that's just the easy way that it goes to. No, it's now in my frontal cortex. I'm now thinking about I'm bringing that critical thinking to the choice that I'm making. Why am I doing this? Why am I having this emotional response? And if we Even if we can't understand why we're having the emotional response because we're now bringing it into the frontal cortex where we're having critical thinking about it, it immediately starts to break those old neural pathways. And those, the more we break and interrupt those neural pathways, the weaker they become. And then through that critical thinking, we start to create a new way of thinking about money. We let go of that old way and we start to create a new way to think about money. Money is really hard to earn. Money is really hard to earn. Money is really hard. I don't understand it. Okay, wait a minute. Why am I having this conversation? We've now moved it into the frontal cortex. We're now bringing the critical thinking that old neural pathways getting broken. And now once we've brought that awareness to the conversation, it ceases to have the same power over us. And even though we may not be able to identify where that particular conversation came from, it's irrelevant. It's not important. People will spend their whole lives trying to figure that out. And then I'll ask them, did you figure it out? Yeah, I did. Okay. Did it make a difference? No, I'm still the same way. I just know why now. It's not important. I'm interested in right now. Can you impact your behavior right now? Can you have a better life as a result of this process? And so moving it from that automatronic to the critical thinking, I'm now looking at it. I'm evaluating it. I'm thinking about it. And if we don't like it, okay. Let it go. Literally let it go. You know what? I'm not interested in that anymore. I let go of that thought. I let go of that belief. I surrender it. I don't care who you surrender to. You can surrender it to God, to the universe, to the trees outside, whatever it is, but you have to literally say, I let that go. That conversation, that opinion, that thought, that belief no longer has dominion over me. No longer is part of my life. I surrender you into the care of the universe. Now in that moment, it. What's a new way you want to relate to money? flows to me easily and abundantly every single day. My capacity to understand money grows every single day, that is for you, create that new way of thinking and then write it down. Put it on a post it. I want it on your on your computer, on your mirror in your bathroom on the nightstand next to your bed so that every waking moment you're present to that new way of thinking. And what happens is every time we declare it out loud, we create new neural pathways. start to build a whole new way of thinking and relating to money. And that old way, it will keep showing up. Those old neural pathways will never go away, but when they show up, we do the same three step process every single time. Notice it, acknowledge it, let it go, and then get present to our new neural pathways, our new relationship to money.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yes. So just to recap there. So, uh, I like the jukebox analogy. So everyone listening, we tell ourselves stories, right? And we've talked about that on this podcast before, but everyone tells themselves stories. And if you're telling yourself the money story for you, what happens is a one. Clicks on and you have a soundtrack to that and it just plays on, on repeat and automatically. And so I think what I heard you saying is basically, okay, say, Oh, that's, that's the money soundtrack. That's the money story that's happening right now. Let me become aware of that. And then, Hey, I actually want to play a new song and tell a new story. So let me develop that. And then every time, Oh, there's that song. Oh, there's a one came on again. Okay, hold on. Let me see and then build a new. Story with a neural pathway. And if you do that over and over again, then the old one starts to diminish and diminish and diminish, get quieter and quieter and quieter. And the new one becomes the more prevalent story. So I want to go

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

the first and the second part is the releasing of it. We want to let it go. Let that conversation, you know what? Forget that car. I'm not interested in that conversation anymore. Let it go. See it go away. Then that new creation.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

into, um, can you mention like the higher, the, the higher value? So. Like whether it's God or the universe or the trees or what have you. And it reminded me of a lot of people I've met. They are like sharks. They're constantly moving and they have to be around this and doing this project and being around these people and like dressing this way and they don't stop. And I think part of it is because there's, there, there's some fear around stopping, getting really quiet and asking. Ourselves, like, who are we? Like, what are we about? What, what is my purpose? Oh. And then let me bring money into that picture, but that's scary stuff, right? Like that's getting real. That's like deep. Ooh, I don't know if I want to do that. I got stuff to do and bills to pay and errands to run. So I'm wondering like, how do we. Kind of come up with that. Okay. If, if money is the most important thing to me right now, and that's my story, how do I figure out what's more important or what's most important?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yeah, this is one of the reasons I say that resetting your financial thermostat allows you to create an empowering relationship with money yourself. at the end of the day, what we're going to see is who we truly are. That will guide us to what we really want in life. so it isn't just a conversation about money. It's a conversation about who we are in the world. What is our purpose here? What fulfills us? What do we want to leave as our mark on the world or contribute to the world? And that's. Again, something that's really important to bring critical thinking to rather than that jukebox kind of analogy to it. You know, a lot of times I'll ask people, okay, what happens if you, you know, make a lot of money? Well, I'd give a lot of weight to charity. So that's just a one in order for me to be good with money. I have to give away, I have to give away a lot of it. That's not the truth. That is what we're told.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yep.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

don't do that. We want to, money can allow us to make a bigger difference financially. I know a lot of people don't have a lot of money, make a huge difference in the world because they donate their time.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yep.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

their skillset. So it isn't about money to make a difference. It's about what kind of difference do you want to make? And then affecting that difference, doing the things that will make that difference. I think that wherever you are on the spiritual spectrum, whether you're religious, whether you're spiritual, whether you're none of that, you're just clear. I am an individual person on this planet. And when I go, I go and it's done. And this is my time. What is it you want to do? With that time, is it you want to experience? You were talking earlier about having experiences. You know, I remember, uh, I lived in Europe for, for many years. And prior to that, I used to travel there. And I remember the first time I went and saw the Mona Lisa, probably the most photographed, most talked about portrait in the entire world, in the history of the world. And what are people doing? They're, they're crowding and they've got their phones up.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yep.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

looking at the Mona Lisa in the phone. And I remember getting close and I, I just stood there and I looked at her in the eyes and I just was connected to that portrait. And it was profound and extraordinary. And I'm not saying there's anything great about me for having done that, but we're so disconnected from the world. of technology and it's not technology's fault. We've allowed ourselves to get disconnected. We've allowed us and we've done the same thing with money because of modern technology. We can easily go through our lives without touching money ever. Physical cash.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Yeah.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

and pay. We tap and pay. We tap and pay. We Venmo. We've whatever. We're just not interacting with money. But when we start to bring it. An intimate relationship or connection back to money the people around us. and ourselves, suddenly life looks different. And so that's what this journey is all about. For me, it's not about just money. It's important because we all interact with money at some point in our lives. It is an important element. How And what is our place in the world and how do we get connected to that? That is where people get real value out of working with me is like suddenly they see, Oh my gosh, I don't need all these other things. This is what's important to me. And I'm so happy because I've tapped into that and lean into it. And again, wherever you are on that spectrum of spiritual, religious or not really lean into it, own who you are and your place in the world. And that will bring you that sense of contentment, that sense of freedom and ultimately that sense of enough.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

I love that. And I think, you know, that that's how you can use money to get you freedom. Because if you are so. Easily swayed this way or that way, or someone can like take you by a collar almost and be like, Oh, I'm going to make you feel this way. I'm gonna make you feel that way. You're, you're vulnerable and you're easily triggered and people can just move you around. Where if that stuff just doesn't have a hold on you anymore. It's like, all right, like you can, you can go do that. You can think about me that way, or you can have that perception. That's up to you. Like that has nothing to do with me. That's such a like, Whoa, like weight off the shoulders, freeing space. You, what you mentioned, this is, um, how you work with people. So I'm wondering if someone's listening, going, Oh, you know what? I really do need to have a level set kind of thermostat check on my relationship with money. I'd like to build a new one, have a more committed relationship. Can you talk about who you work with and, uh, what you do with them?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Yeah, I have a, a, a free mastermind that, uh, is available to anybody who wants to watch. It doesn't cost anything. And is the four keys you need to, To reset your financial thermostat and it is, it's everything you need to get a fundamental understanding of where your financial thermostat setting is and how to reset it and it will, with those tools, you can start to implement it across the board in your life. And then for people who are interested in working beyond that, at the end of that masterclass, there's information on what the next steps would be in order to work with me directly. And all of it is based on us expanding our own capacity around money and our own capacity around who we are as human beings in the world and what it is we truly want in our lives. And part of it is really getting to a point, and this, it's not for everyone. If, if you're, if you're not. in a place where you're ready to start to look at that. Don't worry about it. You don't want to force yourself into something that you're not ready for. You want for, it's for people who are really interested in this conversation. We're like, wow, I want to find out more about this. Great. Check it out. See if it, if it speaks to you and look, if it doesn't speak to you, find something that does any coach, any mentor who says to you, I'm the only one who can help you. You need to turn and run any coach. Any mentor says, I'm the only one who has the answer. You need to turn and run because I'm clear. There is no one answer for everyone. There is only the answer for you and that answer for you now. May not be the answer for you in six months, in a year, in two years. So be aware of that and know like, Oh, wow, this worked for me for a year and it's no longer doing for me what it used to do. I need to find something else rather than, Oh, I'm a failure and this isn't working anymore. No, you know, there were, there was a long time that I was meditating and it was awesome and I loved it. And then there was a morning I got up and I meditated. I'm like. You know what? That just isn't doing it for me anymore. And I was okay with that. I got all this great value. What was next? And then I found the next thing. And then that ran its course. And then I found the next thing. Does that mean I'll never go back to meditation? No, I might. Right? But allow yourself the freedom to do that. To use and do the thing that works for you so that you're empowered, you're inspired because I promise you what's working for Joe next door may not work for you. Check it out. See what, what, what it is for you. And if it does work great. And if it doesn't be okay with that,

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Where can people go for the mastermind?

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

they can go to two places. They can go to Pericles relis. com or they can go to reset yourfinancialthermostat. com. They both go to the same place, but they also, they all both have that masterclass right at the top. So you can click on it, enter your email and you have immediate access to it.

emily-sander_1_10-11-2024_090220:

Beautiful. We'll have both of those links in the show notes, but Pericles, thank you so much. This is a huge topic and we've covered a lot of ground and you bring such energy and such passion for helping people reset their thermostat. So thank you very much for speaking with us and for what you're doing.

pericles-rellas_1_10-11-2024_090219:

Emily, thank you for having me on. I hope this made a difference. It's my pleasure and I wish everyone all the very best.