Leveraging Leadership

Listener Question: Why Your Boss Wants Results, Not Databases

• Emily Sander • Season 1 • Episode 232

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Emily Sander answers a listener’s question about how to get through to a boss who says, “I don’t care about the database, I care about results.” She talks about reframing communication to focus on the boss’s priorities, suggests offering options for overcoming constraints, and gives tips like sharing summaries instead of full reports. Emily shares examples, including her own experience with company data sets, and explains how choosing different words can keep conversations productive.


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Who Am I?

If we haven’t yet before - Hi👋 I’m Emily, Chief of Staff turned Executive Leadership Coach. After a thrilling ride up the corporate ladder, I’m focusing on what I love - working with people to realize their professional and personal goals. Through my videos here on this channel, books, podcast guest spots, and newsletter, I share new ideas and practical and tactical tools to help you be more productive and build the career and life you want. 

 

Time Stamps:

00:51 Understanding What Results Mean
02:04 Addressing Constraints and Offering Solutions
03:30 Effective Communication Strategies
05:27 Interpreting and Summarizing Reports
08:36 Aligning on Expectations and Language
10:15 Database vs. Results: Bridging the Gap
11:51 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

emily-sander_3_10-29-2025_160127:

We have a listener question from Octavian. Cool name. You could be a Roman Emperor who says, my boss keeps saying, I don't care about the database, I care about results. I've tried to explain. We literally can't deliver those results with the new constraints, but he just cuts me off saying, I don't care. Why do you keep bringing this to me? I'm giving him all the reports. I don't get what I'm missing. Okay. Um, okay. Octavian, you can conquer empires, but getting through to your boss seems to be challenging. Um, the first thing I'm curious about is what your boss means by results. So if you know what results are, then I think that's a good first step. If you're not, I would get clear on that real quickly, so maybe ask around that. But if you're clear like, oh, like I know what he wants Emily, because he talks about this all the time, or like everyone knows here are our top three goals type of thing, that I would make sure that your messaging and your conversations with him and the information you're providing are all. Perceived as trying to help get to those results.'cause it seems like there's a disconnect somewhere where it's like, I'm trying to get this way. He says, I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to get results. And you're talking about this stuff over here, you're talking about the database. You're, you're giving me all these reports. Type of thing. So there's like some disconnect of messaging and maybe it's just semantics or the words you're using, but I would get crystal clear on like, okay, what results are you looking for? so that's step one. I tried to explain. We literally can't deliver on those result results with the new constraints. Okay. So I don't know what these constraints are. Are they like budget constraints? Are they, um, like functionality con? I don't know what constraints these are. Let me just say that if you have constraints. I would then flip the messaging or frame the messaging to where you're giving him options that overcome the constraints. let me try to give an example. So it might be, I can get you to the results you want. I can. I can make this result happen. I will need this, this, and this. That's one way to do it. You might. Frame it up as option A and B or option A, B, and C. Like, we have a couple options here. We can get you the results you want with the current, uh, budget or current bandwidth or current whatever. maybe don't use the word constraints unless, unless you need to, but, you know, I can get you the results you want with the current situation that will take this long. Maybe it's a time thing, like we can do this, it's just gonna take forever. Like no one's gonna wanna wait that long. Uh, that's option A. Option B is if we had, I don't know, like two more people, then we could deliver the results in this amount of time. So you could be like option A, option B. so those are some different ways to get creative about framing up your answer and conversation. And I would make sure that. In asking, what do you mean by results? Or like, let me, let me tell you what I think you mean when you say results or like what I hear when I, when I hear results, I think we mean this, this and this. Is that what you mean? Oh, no, no, no. Octavian like, I mean this, when I say, oh, okay, hold on, that changes the game. Let me, let me now rethink my answer type of thing. Um, in all of that, I wouldn't. I would be sure not to make it confrontational. I would be sure not to make it like, well, like you weren't clear on the results. I would just make it as objective, as neutral as possible where I just wanna make sure I'm hearing, I just wanna make sure I'm understanding results accurately. Can I share what I hear or what I understand to be the result? Something like that to make it just. I'm trying to get clear. I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to be an ass hat here. I'm just trying to be clear. Then when you talk about the options or like what I would need, don't make it like what I would need to get you the results you need. Like don't, don't take that track or take that tone. I would just literally share the facts. Share the data you have. Like here's, here's what I have to work with. Here's the constraints, or here's the parameters I have to work with. So if you're saying I want this result, then here's what we can do given the parameters we have right now. Now, if these parameters can change in any which way, then that changes the outcome. That changes the timeline, that changes the deliverable, that changes the whatever. And we can talk about option B over here. Okay. Um. Yeah, but he cuts me off. So I'm kind of getting the sense that this has been like an ongoing conversation and there's some frustration level from both parties, from one party, from everyone involved. let's see. I'm giving him all the reports. I don't get what I'm missing. Okay. So it's interesting, like it might just be a turn of phrase, get what I'm missing, but it might be you are picking up on like, I'm missing something. There's a gap in communication. Like I am sending a signal on this wavelength and he's operating on that wavelength, so we're kind of missing each other. so again, sometimes the language stuff, like get clear on results. Um. I've given him all the reports. If he doesn't want the reports, the reports aren't helpful. I, I don't know what, what these reports are. If, like, if I've, I've had situations where it's like, here's like the source material, here's the deep dive, here's what I look at every day. And someone's like, I don't, I don't care about that. I can't even read that if I wanted to, I don't know what that means. Just give me the bottom line, give me the results. So it might be the. The actual content you're sending him, the re, the reports might not be what he's looking for, or maybe all the reports might not be what he's looking for. Maybe it's one report. Maybe it's a certain report. Maybe it's a summary of a certain report. Maybe it's like, give me the bottom line of the report. Maybe it's, I don't want to look at reports. I want you to interpret for me, from everything you're seeing, give me the bottom line. And this, this, this can be a good framework for you to use and for anyone to use if they have this type of boss where it's like, I don't, I'm not gonna read the reports. I'm not gonna sit there and dig through the data, the data sets. Are you kidding me? I'm not like rummaging through tables and data and like charts and everything. Give me the bottom line and then I'll tell you if I want further information. So it could be, instead of giving him all these reports, all right, what's the bottom line? What's the crux of the issue? What is the decision to be made? What is, here's what he wants in one sentence, here's what he wants in three bullet points, short bullet points. It's kinda like an iceberg, like you're sharing the tip of the iceberg. Do you know more, is there more data and information in the, in all the reports? Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's what you live and breathe. But he just needs the tip of the iceberg. He just needs the bottom line. So it might be, and I've had people, like in coaching sessions, like, we need to do a share screen. Like, here's my email to my, I'm like, no, no, no. Like that. That's like walls of text. I've spoken with your boss or I get a sense of your boss from our conversations. They want like the bottom line. Do two sentences with the bottom line and then say, happy to discuss further, or happy to jump on a call or let me know if you need anything else. I can talk you through in 15 minutes type of thing. Most bosses. Most high level executives appreciate that.'cause they're running around doing like 47 different things and they're like, I don't have time for all the reports. Just tell me the, just tell me the thing and then I'll ask you if I need more information. So that might be something you can use here. Um, I don't get what I'm missing. You could just have like kinda like a timeout. Like, hold on. Like we're missing each other here. We're missing each other. I'm not trying, like, I'm not trying to be difficult. I'm like, and you can turn it on yourself and be self-deprecating. What am I missing? Like, I'm missing something here and I'm might like, all right. Your boss might go, okay. Okay. Nope. Okay. Time out. Yep. Um, look, I feel like we're missing each other here and open up that kind of dialogue. Okay. Yeah, no, I sense that too. But I'm, I'm trying to do this and I'm trying to give you, and, and you're not responding to this, and the boss might say, okay, I, I don't want this though. I don't want this. That's where I don't want this, I want that. Oh, okay. You want that? Yeah. Okay. I'm not, I, I hear you say you want that. I don't quite know why you want that. Okay. Let me explain why I want that. Da, da, da. Oh, oh, oh. I, okay. Once you explain it that way I can connect the dots. You were like talking in smoke signals. You were talking in weird language. Now I know the why and the what behind it. Okay. Now I can better answer your question. Might not agree with it. Might not. Like the constraints might not like the situation, but now I understand now. Now we're speaking the same language. Now we're on the same radio frequency, we're on the same wavelength. At least we're talking to each other here. So I would try to level set and get yourself on that plane of dialogue even if you are still like, I don't, I don't agree with what you're asking me, or I don't agree with what you're asking me to do with little resources or whatever, whatever situation you have. Um, okay. So my boss keeps saying, I don't care about the database, I care about the results. Um, okay. So database is interesting. So in my experience, I used to work for a company where our data and our data set was like our proprietary gold, like everyone in in the industry wanted it and we had access to it. And so our database was precious, but it wasn't the database itself, it was what we could get out of the database and how we could manipulate the data and slice and dice the data. And for a while we were like monolithic. We were like, here's the data. Database, but no one can get to it because of the coding we had like Ruby on Rails and some other kind of esoteric way that people had initially set that up. And we eventually had to dismantle that whole thing and recode the thing and it took 18 months, but it wasn't sexy is the point. But we needed it to do everything else we wanted to do with our product set, with our customers, with reporting, with visibility, with all this stuff. For strategic partnerships, like all this stuff, we needed to be able to get into the database. So this might. Not be your case at all, Octavian, but just. I have that in my brain. It might be your boss is saying, I don't care about the database. I care about the results. Meaning I care about what we can get out of the database. I care about what the data tells us. I care. I care about how we can. Serve that up into products or dashboards or reports or make informed decisions or whatever. it might be when your boss hears database, it's like, stop saying that I don't care about the database, I care about this. Like, I care about how we can use it. So it might be a little bit of, of that dialogue as well. Okay. So hopefully that gets you to what you're quote unquote missing. It's like, oh, Emily, I think you, I think you hit it. I think that's it. Or it could be like, I'm still not quite sure, but I have some conversation starters or I have an idea about how to. Write my next email to my boss. That's gonna be helpful. So hopefully you have something to take away there. But, um, yes, a, this is a common thing where people get frustrated'cause they're kind of talking past each other. So just getting clear about the different, the different terms you're using, the different words, the different use cases, the different context, like what's important, like why is he wanting the results? What are the results? Why are those important to him? And any kind of semantics where it's like when he, when you look, when every time you say database, he's gonna get frustrated. So you might either have to redefine what database means, so that's no longer like a trigger word for him. Or use a different word, use a different word, pick a new word. It might mean the same thing, but it just clears the decks and it's like, all right, I can talk about, um, I can talk about our. Our data center or our information center, or our information sets, or whatever else you want to call it. Like that makes me calmer. I can talk about that. We're talking on the same wavelength now and you just like dump database. So sometimes it's like little word games like that, it's not frivolous sometimes it makes a huge difference. It makes a huge difference with people, the words you use. So anyway, hopefully that's been helpful and we'll call this one a wrap and I will catch all of you next week on leveraging leadership.