Growth Isn’t Always Obvious - Give Yourself Credit

Emily Sander shares stories about a former coaching client worried his current job stress might cause health issues like it did ten years ago, and a military veteran adjusting to planning her first personal vacation after years of work travel. The episode focuses on recognizing your own growth, not judging yourself by your past reactions, and giving yourself credit for changes you’ve made over the years.

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Who Am I?
If we haven’t met before - Hi👋 I’m Emily, Chief of Staff turned Executive Leadership Coach. After a thrilling ride up the corporate ladder, I’m focusing on what I love - working with people to realize their professional and personal goals. Through my videos here on this channel, books, podcast guest spots, and newsletter, I share new ideas and practical and tactical tools to help you be more productive and build the career and life you want.

Time Stamps:
00:41 Story #1: Corporate Stress, Anxiety, and Fear of Repeating the Past

03:06 You’re Not the Same Person: Tools, Support Systems, and New Ways to Handle Pressure

04:00 Zoom Out: Stop Assuming Old Triggers Mean the Same Outcome Today

06:16 Story #2: Learning to Vacation After a Career of Work Travel

07:44 Reframing the Pressure: New Season, New Skills (and Some Transferable Ones)

08:44 Key Takeaway + Closing Thoughts: Grace for Growth and Life Phases

Transcript

0:06

Welcome back to Leveraging Leadership, where we unpack the art of business leadership. I'm your host, Emily Sander, chief of staff to an executive leadership coach. This show is all about finding your points of greatest influence and leveraging them to better serve those around you.

Story #1: Corporate Stress, Anxiety, and Fear of Repeating the Past

You’re Not the Same Person: Tools, Support Systems, and New Ways to Handle Pressure

Zoom Out: Stop Assuming Old Triggers Mean the Same Outcome Today

Story #2: Learning to Vacation After a Career of Work Travel

Reframing the Pressure: New Season, New Skills (and Some Transferable Ones)

Key Takeaway + Closing Thoughts: Grace for Growth and Life Phases

emily-sander_1_02-18-2026_162515 0:25

Make sure that you're aware and maybe give yourself credit for the growth that you've done over the years and make sure not to. Compare yourself in unhelpful way with the previous version of yourself. Here's, here's how this topic came about. yesterday I had back to back conversations with, two individual individuals, and this theme came up from two different angles, but I was like, oh, the same, the same core principle is coming up. So the first example is this, uh, this individual, I've, I've actually known him for a number of years. I coached him at one point and he, He had a corporate role. He worked for a Fortune 50 company and he was hustle, hustle, hustle, go, go, go. And he developed a lot of, um, anxiety and stress and things that tend to happen sometimes in those like high pressure, high powered roles. And for. A variety of reasons. He's at a point in his career where maybe he continues with corporate, maybe he breaks off and does his thing, his own thing with some colleagues and starts his own business. maybe he starts a speaking career, so keynote speaker, uh, maybe he starts writing books. All these different things are kind of presenting themselves as potential opportunities, and he and I were just. Talking and catching up, and he was saying, yeah, I'm kind of, I'm, I'm hemming and hawing about this one thing, and I'm really concerned about this thing at work. So I'm still in corporate in this role, and like my boss is getting swirly and I'm not sure where I stand with him and all these different things. And there was this one. This one line where it was apparent, he was very fearful of if this one thing happened, he would get so stressed out and he would, his health would deteriorate. And he had gone through this before and the same thing was gonna happen Emily, and could hear it in his voice. The I, I don't, I don't trust myself almost. I don't, I don't trust myself to be able to handle this. And I said, okay, well, I. Can guess where this is coming from, because I knew several years ago, almost a decade ago, he did have this super stressful experience in a very similar setup. And I, I remember him going through that. I was not pleasant at all, so I under, I, I totally understand. Being scared of that. I would be scared of that too. He actually ended up in the hospital a couple times. Um. And so I said, all right, is this coming from that experience? And he was like, yes. Like, oh my gosh, yes. Remember when I had to go to the hospital and it was horrible, and I, you know, just had all these health problems, et cetera, et cetera. And I go, yeah, I do. Like, I definitely remember that that was, That was not good. Um, that was nearly 10 years ago. Are you the same person as you were 10 years ago? Oh, Emily. No. No, I'm not. I And we talked through some of the things that came outta that conversation were, Hey, I've grown as a person. I don't internalize stress the same way. Now I have. Learn tools and ways to process that differently. I just approach that and receive that differently. I don't, I don't bring that on board in the same way. Um, I have a very different kind of home set up, different support, different friends and family members and colleagues and different support structure. Whereas before I was placing a whole bunch of pressure on myself to go, go, go and grind, grind, grind. So just like a whole different setup he has in his life and. Um, what he wants now is very different than what he wanted previously, which happens to a lot of us. So we kind of talked through some different elements and, and it was just a really good realization for him and reminder for all of us that, hey, when we hear something, it was like, uh, uh, uh, uh, before that was bad. Like I had a bad experience with that. Whenever the boss does this, that means this. Maybe when the boss did this, it meant that for me before in that one situation with that one boss at that one company with the version of myself 10 years ago, but that doesn't mean it has to happen automatically over here with this boss. Where this company with me now, those are completely different circumstances, so. Learn the lesson, maybe be reminded of like, Hey, this one thing that happened a long time ago could happen again. Like it's in the realm of possibilities, but is, is it likely? Is it worth going crazy over all these things? I would. Give yourself a lot of credit for the growth that you have done. you might be fundamentally different as a person as well. And I would give yourself credit for that a lot of times. Um, especially if you're listening to podcasts like this, you are driven and you are into personal development and you're trying different tactics and you're wanting to be, become a better person and a better leader. And so you build all these things up and'cause you're in it you don't see how much this, these incremental things have added up and compounded over time, over 10 years, even five years time. If you are. Consistently, dedicated to, to learning these things and making yourself better, becoming more self-aware, seeing your blind spots doubling down on your, on your strengths. All these things add up in a big, big way sometimes, and we can't see it. Sometimes we can't see it, so it's good to step back, zoom out. Maybe get a coach or some friend to kind of give you perspective and go, huh? Yeah. Like me 10 years ago, totally would've freaked out. Totally. Would've freaked out. We would've had a health problem. We would've had this, this, and this. Now, n no, I'm not, I'm not gonna do that. Water off a duck's back. I, I really don't care about that anymore. And it could be one of those realizations and it's a good reminder for us all. So that was the first conversation. Then right after that, I had a second conversation with this really cool individual. She, um, had a whole military career and she was, she, she was a colonel in, um, the military and a certain branch. And she basically we're talking about. Travel and she had traveled extensively for work and she was, you know, very good at logistically, like getting her new stuff ready to go and she could leave at a moment's notice and all these things. And she knew how to travel for work and we were talking about this trip that she was gonna take as a personal vacation. And so she was like, well, I, I booked my flight and I. I packed and I'm like trying to find my like agenda and like my kind of call sheet for what I was supposed to do. I'm like, and she realized like, I don't have one'cause it's my vacation. And it was almost her realizing that. I know how to travel, like I travel well, and I've been all around the world, so I know these places, but I've never been there for a personal vacation. And so I almost have to learn how to do that. I almost have to learn that.'cause for so long I've been in this mode about travel, this mode about, uh, work, travel. And so it was just, it was just kind of a, kinda a curious, uh, made me smile kind of. Back-to-back conversations where it's like, oh yeah, we do have to remind ourselves and kind of give ourselves credit or give ourselves some leeway or grace or compassion or whatever you wanna call it. Just awareness of like, yeah, this is new. I gotta learn this. And once and once she and I kind of framed it. Like that, like yeah, it's new. It's, it's a new type of travel for you and you have to learn that. I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. I don't, I like, there was some kind of internal pressure that I, I should, I should know how to do this. I should be good at this. Like, I was good at traveling for work and I was like, why you, you haven't traveled, you haven't taken a personal vacation in 15 years. Why should you be good at that out the gate? Well, blah, blah. Well. Guess. I guess that doesn't make a lot of sense. No, like you're gonna learn it. Now, let's come up with like some different things you can try and keep in mind for this first round of vacation. But hopefully this is one of many personal vacations you're gonna take. So learn the new skills. Some of the travel stuff you did for work carries over. Bring that over, use that. And some of it's new and a lot of it's mindset and a lot of it's the function and purpose of the trip is, is very different than from, from work in the military and from, for a personal relaxation with, with the family. So. Anyway, that just, those two conversations just struck me and I wanted to share that. Any, any which way that this might apply for you or someone you know. Sometimes it is a good reminder, realization, acknowledgement. Give yourself credit, give yourself a little bit of a break in the. Amount of growth you've done as a person and also recognizing and appreciating the different phases of your career or phases of your life that you're in, where some different elements or principles might apply. So hopefully that's been helpful and hopefully you can apply that to something you're taking on this week. And with that, I'll catch you next week on leveraging leadership.

9:24

This episode is brought to you by Next Level Coaching. If you or anyone you know would like to learn more about executive leadership coaching, please visit www.next level Coach.