Lessons from a Cancer Journey: A Surprise Anniversary Tribute

In a deeply personal and heartfelt surprise episode for her husband, Thomas, Lindsey takes the microphone to celebrate their 11th dating anniversary and mark the one-year "cancerversary" since Thomas' leukemia diagnosis. This episode reveals profound lessons Lindsey has learned from watching Thomas courageously navigate a year filled with intensive treatment, a bone marrow transplant, and Graft Versus Host Disease.

Join Lindsey as she shares how their journey began with answered prayers, and how Thomas’ unwavering faith transformed their perspective on life, faith, and the future. From his awe-inspiring acceptance of his diagnosis on a memorable jet ski day, to his quiet acts of support for his mother, and his incredible determination in starting this podcast even amidst painful mucositis mouth sores, this episode showcases the extraordinary man Lindsey prayed for. Amidst the ongoing challenges, they are committed to carrying forward lessons of trust, resilience, and finding joy in every moment.

Key Learnings:

• Patience & God's Timing: Discover the power of waiting on God for your deepest desires and seeing prayers unfold.
• Trust in the Storm: Learn to find profound faith and accept challenges, believing God can use them for good.
• Embrace Your New Story: Pivot from old plans and courageously step into an unexpected future with hope.
• Unyielding Determination & Vulnerability: Witness the strength in pursuing purpose and sharing your journey, even through immense discomfort.
• Passion for Life & Others: Cultivate enthusiastic joy and selfless support, making every moment meaningful.

Resources & Mentions:

• Cultus Lake: Thomas' favorite place where we found joy amidst uncertainty.
• Connect with us on Instagram 📱
• Subscribe to our new YouTube channel for visuals from our journey, behind-the-scenes photos, and extra content! 🎥 

Call to Action:

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! Share this episode with someone who needs a reminder of courage, faith, and enduring love today.

Transcript

Welcome to Brain it On

Speaker 1 0:03

Your brain is the powerhouse behind your life. On this podcast, we explore strategies to strengthen your connections, build resilience and navigate life's ups and downs, with a focus on brain health. Discover how understanding and caring for your brain can transform your relationships and empower you to face any challenge with confidence. Get ready to Brain it On. Hey everyone, welcome back to Brain it On In today's episode. It's just me. I have an episode, a special one, planned. It's actually a surprise episode for my wonderful co-host and husband, thomas.

Patience and Prayer: Our First Anniversary

Speaker 1 0:43

This Friday, july 4th isn't just a holiday for us. It's actually our 11th dating anniversary and it also marks one year since Thomas's cancer diagnosis. So I wanted to take this moment to reflect on everything that I've learned from him, especially over this crazy last year that we've had together. So, to begin, I want to talk about the concept of patience and prayer, and this is about the decade that I have spent with Thomas leading up to his cancer diagnosis. So, as I mentioned, we celebrate our anniversary on the 4th of July. Our dating anniversary is the 4th of July. We were married in March and you know July 4th holds so many layers of meaning for us.

Speaker 1 1:26

Looking back on our very first anniversary on July 4th of 2014,. It was very monumental for me. I don't know how many people know this, but Thomas was actually my first official boyfriend. I was 21 years old at the time and on that day, I had my first kiss with him. I was so nervous to have my first kiss and also very much wanting it to happen. So it was an awesome day and there were fireworks literally literal fireworks. I had prayed for my future husband my future, you know, boyfriend, my special person for many years, and many, many years where I was you know, boyfriend, my special person for many years, and many, many years where I was, you know, there was frustration. I really wanted to find that special person, someone who I know would be there for me, you know, spiritually, emotionally, someone who would make me laugh and help me. Just, you know, take on each day.

Speaker 1 2:20

I'm a highly sensitive person, if you haven't already noticed this over the last episodes that we've had, I feel the weight of the world so deeply, and to have someone just to be really close with, who could share that weight, who could help me when I feel down, when I feel the weight of things, and to provide levity and light and laughter it's something that I had prayed for for so long, and so it was such a beautiful thing when Thomas came into my life and I knew even though we had just been dating for a little bit or going on dates for a little bit by the time July 4th came around, I had a good feeling that he was husband material. He embodied everything I had hoped for, and more. That first anniversary taught me the profound value of patience, you know that, truly praying for your dreams and, most importantly, waiting on God's timing. My journey to finding Thomas was a testament to that Just a beautiful unfolding of a prayer, answered in a really beautiful way. There's a quote attributed to Anonymous that really resonates with me, as it pertains to this beauty, and it goes the very things you're experiencing today are answers to prayers you once prayed, and so this episode is my way of acknowledging just how grateful I am to have Thomas in my life and to have this dream, this prayer, this incredible man standing right beside me. Well, he's not beside me. I'm in my office, being all sneaky and recording. He's in the other room, and having this incredible man near me is something that I want to talk about, and in a future episode we're going to talk about other dreams that we have, dreams that we're still praying for, like becoming parents, and it's a challenging journey that we're still grappling with and we'll discuss that in a future episode. But today I want to wholeheartedly remember and cherish this man who I prayed for and who I have in my life. So this is a major shout out to Mr Keeley I call Thomas Mr Keeley all the time, and this is because when I taught kindergarten and he was a volunteer, my students would call him Mr Keeley all the time.

Trust in the Storm: Cancer Diagnosis

Speaker 1 4:23

And this is because when I taught kindergarten and he was a volunteer, my students would call him Mr Keeley. So it's kind of funny. To this day I'll say, oh, Mr Keeley. And it brings a smile to my face because I think about when he was a wonderful volunteer in my classroom. He did donuts with dads many years in a row for all of my students who didn't have father figures, who were able to attend that event in the classroom, all right. So this next part is about our 10th anniversary and trust in the storm.

Speaker 1 4:53

So fast forward to last year, our 10th dating anniversary, july 4th 2024. And this day was doubly significant because it also became Thomas's cancerversary. It was, you know the day that we mark as being when his cancer battle started. You know, the days prior to July 4th we started to have, you know, an understanding that something was going on. He went to the emergency room, then we had a consultation with an oncologist, he had a bone marrow biopsy and then we really had a more full understanding of what was going on with cancer and needing to go up to OHSU for his cancer treatment by the 4th of July. And so you know, it's been an entire year, as of this week we'll hit July 4th. It'll mark a year of battling leukemia. Then he had the bone marrow transplant and now he's navigating graft versus host disease.

Speaker 1 5:46

And just before, you know, this cancerversary, last year we had received the news that he needed to go to Portland for his intensive cancer treatment. And the weight of that diagnosis, the uncertainty of what was ahead, it was so immense, you know, for Thomas and for myself, for all of us we were just in shock. But for Thomas, you know, being himself his joyful, loving, excited self, he wanted to plan a final hurrah before we left for OHSU. So we picked his favorite place in the world, our favorite place, I would say collectively Coltus Lake and he had always wanted to rent a jet ski. So he said this is the day that the jet ski is happening. And I am someone who's very cautious, so going on a jet ski after he had just had surgery on his hand and he was supposed to keep really sterile dressings on his finger and it couldn't get wet he was determined and so it was the great jet ski moment. And I'm proud to this day to say that I allowed the jet skis to happen and nothing horrible happened from it. His finger did not get infected. All my fears did not come true. It all worked out and it was actually a really awesome day.

Speaker 1 6:56

I watched him on that day utterly in awe. He soaked up every single moment, living in the present. He gave me these tight hugs, he laughed and he spent precious time with his mom, julie, who at that point was three months into her own stage four pancreatic cancer diagnosis. And amidst all of this, at the end of this day, this beautiful day, we were so tired because we spent so much time in the water and jet skiing and it was so fun. And at the end of that day he told me that he trusted God with the outcome of this medical chapter. He said I don't know what it's going to be like when we go to Portland to the hospital he called it I think he called it like a pajama summer camp at the hospital because he knew he was going to spend the summer there getting treatment. But he said that he trusted God and that was truly amazing Flash forward several months I mean fast forward.

Speaker 1 7:52

Actually, this was after Christmas, on Christmas of 2024, that's when we found out about his cancer relapse around his brain. He had made it through the transplant. We were celebrating, he was on his way, we had celebrated, I believe, day 60 post-transplant and then we got the news that the cancer had come back, this time in his cerebral spinal fluid, and the weight of that was so heavy he knew that he had to start this cranial spinal radiation 16 sessions. That was going to be so intense and he told me around that time not only did he trust God again with that outcome, but he was honored that God would entrust him with this diagnosis, with this secondary cancer, knowing that God trusted Thomas enough to use it for his purpose and his good. When he said this to me, I mean it instantly brought tears to my eyes. I was just in awe of the fact that he would say how honored he was to go through something like this, knowing that God had faith in him to use it for to work things together for good and to help other people.

Speaker 1 8:58

Going back to the jet ski day, one detail that still blows me away is that, you know it all started with this tiny little cut on his finger that we had gone to, you know, to the doctor, to figure out what was going on. It ultimately led to his diagnosis. You know it had gotten so bad that he had to have a hand surgeon work on it. It was in this bulky wrapping. But Thomas, as I mentioned, was so determined to get on those jet skis. You know the OHSU nurse strongly advised him to not go on jet skis. She was very shocked when I called to ask her. But she said if you do it, make sure that you wear at least two gloves and tape the glove. And Thomas did not care what it looked like, he double gloved and he went for it. So just the detail, seeing him on the jet ski with his blue gloves on it's an incredible mix of joy and grit as I think back to that detail of him wearing the glove.

Lessons in Resilience and Sobriety

Speaker 1 9:52

To say that I was in awe then and that I still am to this day is an understatement. Observing Thomas so courageously embracing this new diagnosis with this profound faith and acceptance, it has literally changed me. It has taught me what true resilience looks like. So now, a year later, I want to talk about some lessons in resilience, sobriety and new stories. So now, one year later, as we near July 4th 2025, my amazement with Thomas has only grown. I get to take a moment to brag on him now, because he's not on air. He's not with me recording, so I can just take the whole time to talk about him.

Speaker 1 10:36

He celebrated 10 years of sobriety from alcohol in June of this year, so I believe it's June 19th, thomas. I'm sorry if I didn't get the date right, but he celebrated 10 years of sobriety from alcohol, and when I think about this commitment, the dedication to himself and to a healthier life, it's such a testament to his inner strength and this unwavering resolve. What I love about his sobriety and his journey is that he shares it with people. He tells people that he's walking through his sobriety or that he doesn't drink and that this has been his process, and for people who have found themselves in a space where they are dealing with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. He's there as a support person. He has spoken into so many people's lives and allowed them to not feel shamed, allowed them to be vulnerable and has pointed them towards great resources. So that's something that I think is just amazing, just the vulnerability of him. Talking about you know, his sobriety is so amazing.

Speaker 1 11:39

And one of the things how this pertains to his cancer journey is I've watched him continually lean into one of the principles that a lot of us strive for and that it's hard to embrace, which is the serenity prayer. And the serenity prayer goes God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thomas and I say the serenity prayer together sometimes, and he did a program called Serenity Lane. It was an outpatient program, an alcohol outpatient, and the last part of the serenity prayer that they say is I'm going to probably get this wrong, keep coming back because it works, if you work it, because you're worth it. I think that's how it goes. That's what they tacked on to the end. So whenever we say the serenity prayer. We of course have to add on the silly ending.

Speaker 1 12:31

But Thomas has shown me through his actions, every single day what it means to trust God with the uncontrollable things. He's also taught me to relentlessly look for the good, even in the darkest of circumstances, even when you're in the hospital. When he was in the hospital and he had mucositis, he had pain. I mean really we say discomfort, which is a better term for it, but I mean that deep pain, looking for the good in the darkest days. You know him making sure to thank every nurse that came in. Even though it pained him to talk, he would still try to say thank you. In those dark times, his determination and vulnerability.

Speaker 1 13:12

I was so amazed when he decided to start this podcast. This was in this uncontrollable you know so many uncontrollable things in his life he exerted agency and control when he said let's do it, let's start a podcast I'm going to, I want to record with you. He started this podcast, the Brain it On podcast, during his bone marrow transplant hospital stay and even with those painful mucositis mouth sores, he still wanted to record episodes. You know he would say my mouth sounds a little different today because I have. You know, it's like I have a sunburn in my mouth. He would kind of joke about it, but he really wanted to share his story. He said even if it helps just one person, I want to share my story. And just that level of openness and commitment, even in extreme discomfort, to me and to everyone I know is truly remarkable.

Speaker 1 14:03

I've also watched Thomas be an incredible source of support for his mom, julie, when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Thomas didn't hesitate. He slept in her hospital room with her because he really didn't want her to feel alone. He was there with her every step of the way, going to appointments and just making sure that she felt like she was not alone in this journey, that he was there for her. And just last night we got to spend time with Julie. We went out for milkshakes and hamburgers at Dandy's. She had an inf appointment so we went to that together and then we got burgers and shakes and got to have a really fun time together. And when we dropped Julie off at her apartment we spent some time talking and then we ended our time where Thomas prayed for Julie and he just said the most beautiful words that were encouraging and raw and just, transparent and beautiful, and it brought tears to Julie's eyes and mine. It was just one of those prayers and moments that I'll cherish. It was, like in the movie Inside Out a core memory. So Thomas has shown me as well.

Embracing a New Story

Speaker 1 15:10

Another thing is how to embrace your new story, even when it's radically different from the one that you had meticulously planned for yourself. And I say this meticulously because I am a planner. I've known that I wanted to be a teacher since, I think, kindergarten. I was like I will be a teacher. I had my stuffed animals lined up and I was pretending to teach them. My mom is a teacher to this day. She still teaches second grade and she inspired me and I knew that's what I want to be. I've always had these different life plans and you know, last year Thomas and I had really big plans. We were finally ready to start a family. We had everything lined up. All the boxes were checked.

Speaker 1 15:52

On my plan, we had moved into this beautiful home that we're renting from Thomas's grandma. It's a single story and there's a beautiful park at the end of the street. We had previously been living in an apartment on the third floor and we thought, well, we could try to have kids now, but it's such a sketchy walk up the stairs and it was actually my birthday I can't remember what year it was, but it was my birthday and parking up the stairs and it was actually my birthday I can't remember what year it was, but it was my birthday and parking was really nuts and I had to. You know, one of our cars could park in the reserve spot, but then usually my car would go on the street. So I was walking across the street with a box of cupcakes, because it was my birthday, and this huge truck came, like going 100, not 100 miles an hour but very quickly down the street and almost hit me and I dropped my box of cupcakes and they fell and splattered and I thought, you know, this is a sign from above that starting a family here at this apartment is not a good idea. It's very sketchy, and so we decided to wait.

Speaker 1 16:52

And so you know, last year we're in this space, this home, and we're like, okay, this is time. We felt like it was time to start a family, and then cancer happened, and so today, as I was kind of reflecting on this, thomas reminded me of something powerful. We were sitting in my office which was going to be our nursery. Last year we had gone to Ikea and picked out a bunch of things for the nursery. We hadn't purchased it yet, but we were very much in that planning phase and Thomas looked at me and with so much faith and kindness and also understanding and empathy he said you know, this is still our nursery, our future nursery.

Speaker 1 17:34

It'll just be in God's perfect timing. And that sentence it was perfect for me. There's been so many times where he's been such a great listener and validated me and I hear you and that's hard. And in this moment what I needed to hear was it will be God's timing. This is still a nursery. He knew just what to say. That simple sentence just encapsulates so much of what he's taught me Enduring hope, unwavering faith and the profound acceptance that some things are beyond our control but not beyond God's plan. And if you know Thomas, you know this incredible enthusiasm he has and passion for life. He is completely enthralled with storms and all kinds of you know big weather. He even has a storm dance of sorts. So whenever there's thunder or snow or we were in Florida once and there was literally a hurricane he has just this dance that shows his pure joy and ability to find wonder in the world. That's something that I cherish and admire so much. So even when things are outside of our control and difficult, he still has this enthusiasm and passion.

Speaker 1 18:47

He ordered a wig off of Amazon it was, I kid you, not a colonial powdered wig Sent it to our hospital room when he was getting his bone marrow transplant. So when he lost his hair, he had made a joke. When he was first diagnosed with cancer and, ben, you know, the oncologist broke the news to us that you have leukemia and you're going to need to go to Portland as soon as possible to have this transplant. We might have shared this before in the podcast, but Thomas said, you know, that's okay. And I looked at him like, wow, what are you going to say next? And he said that's okay Because in Portland they probably have a lot more stores with a lot of wig options for me, cause she had said that you'll lose your hair with the chemotherapy. And sure enough, thomas loses his hair and he, you know, orders that colonial powdered wig and he puts it on, and you should have seen the look on his night nurse's face. He came in the room and at this point.

Speaker 1 19:39

Thomas was on IV nutrition because he had so much discomfort he couldn't eat or drink food very well. And so he, the nurse, comes in with this. You know this big bag. If you've ever seen IV nutrition, they call them lipids. There has different things in the bag, but the nurse was very focused on his task, which was getting together his IV nutrition. And he walks in and he sees Thomas wearing a robe and this colonial wig, and Thomas gives him a funny smile and it was just this hilarious moment.

Speaker 1 20:10

I think the nurse was in shock. I think maybe he thought I worked too many shifts in a row. I need to go home. I'm like you're not dreaming, we're joking, this is a wig, you're normal, you're not seeing things, but anyway, just this joy and enthusiasm. Even when he's in a space where it's a story that isn't a story that we had originally planned, he still makes the best of it and he still makes the best of it and I admire and cherish this about him.

Anniversary Reflections and Future Episodes

Speaker 1 20:34

So, wrapping up, thomas, as you listen to this, I want you to know that you are my constant inspiration. Through every setback, every challenge, every joyous moment, you have been my rock, my teacher and my greatest love. You show me what it truly means to live with grace, courage and unshakable faith. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing me how to trust, how to hope and how to embrace whatever story is unfolding before us, knowing that God has a plan for our lives. And happy 11th dating anniversary and cancerversary. Though this day is tinged with challenge, it also marks a year of unparalleled strength and faith that you have shown to the whole world. Thank you all for listening to this very special episode. Next week we'll be back with both myself and Thomas. We'll be sharing about Thomas's journey with graft-versus-host disease. We'll be giving you some more medical updates and talking more about Lord of the Rings, and this time we'll be talking about the two towers. Thanks again, everyone. I hope you have a wonderful day and I will talk with you soon.