The Brain It On! Podcast

Embracing Life's Seasons: Finding Joy in Every Circumstance

• Lindsey Kealey • Season 2 • Episode 5

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In this episode, we open up about navigating life's seasons, from unexpected disappointments to moments of grace, wisdom, and joy. The conversation begins with a celebration – Thomas is officially in molecular remission from leukemia! This powerful health update sets the stage for an honest exploration of how to embrace life's changing seasons. We share our personal approach to infusing joy into everyday moments, from decorating for fall and creating themed movie nights during difficult health challenges.

Drawing from Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, we unpack what disappointment really means—those moments when the movie in our head doesn't match reality. You'll discover practical strategies for managing disappointment, including the power of validation and how cultivating appreciation can strengthen your relationships and well-being. We also share how our faith provides a foundation of strength, offering the reassurance that difficult seasons are temporary while love remains constant.

This episode reminds us that two things can be true simultaneously: we can acknowledge disappointment while still finding moments of joy. We can also miss certain seasons while appreciating our current chapter. Whether you're facing health challenges, relationship transitions, or simply navigating everyday ups and downs, we hope you'll find comfort and companionship in this conversation. 

Key Learnings

  • Acknowledge Unmet Expectations: The first step to overcoming disappointment is to honor and process it. Learn to put words to your difficult emotions, understanding that it's a brave and healthy step toward healing and meaningful connection.
  • Cultivate Joy and Appreciation: Discover how actively seeking out the good in your current season—even in small ways like decorating your home or savoring a cup of coffee—can help shift your perspective and boost your brain's feel-good chemicals.
  • Give Yourself Grace: Learn to be a "human being" instead of a "human doing." Give yourself permission to rest and sit with your emotions without judgment, knowing that it's a vital part of navigating life's ups and downs.

Resources & Mentions

Connect with us  on Instagram 📱and subscribe to our YouTube channel for visuals from our journey and behind-the-scenes content! 🎥 

If this episode helped you find a way to lean into the good in your own life, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! Share this episode with someone who is navigating a hard season. 

#embracechange #gratitude #disappointment #mentalhealth #cancerjourney #hope #brenebrown #bothandthinking #brainitonpodcast #atlasoftheheart

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Introduction to Brain Health

Speaker 1

Your brain is the powerhouse behind your life. On this podcast, we explore strategies to strengthen your connections, build resilience and navigate life's ups and downs, with a focus on brain health.

Speaker 2

Discover how understanding and caring for your brain can transform your relationships and empower you to face any challenge with confidence.

Speaker 1

Get ready to Brain it On. Hey everyone, welcome to the Brain it On podcast. In today's episode, we're talking about the power of seasons, how to lean into the joy in the seasons that feel good and joyful, and how to hold on to hope that some of the hard and challenging aspects can be temporary. Let's get started. All right, everybody. Welcome back. Thomas, it's good to have you here today.

Speaker 2

Yes, thank you, good to be here.

Speaker 1

I missed you last week. Last week when I recorded, I did the episode about the black dot and I was solo. So it feels so good to be the black dot episode. Feels good to be back in the studio Today. We're talking about seasons, how they can change the current season that we're in and, speaking of the season we're in, I think that means we should start off with our health highlight.

Speaker 2

Health highlight we're in a new recording space right now, which is Lindsay's office, so if you see all the cool background stuff, that's all her stuff. As far as updates go, I'm officially in molecular remission Woo-hoo, yeah, which is like a big, big deal.

Speaker 1

It's the best kind to be in.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it is. So I'm in remission from my leukemia, which means I'm 100% donor. It is.

Speaker 1

So I'm in remission from my leukemia, which means I'm 100% donor.

Speaker 2

Olga, yes, Came through Taking butt and taking names. We're just so grateful and overjoyed for that.

Speaker 1

This even includes his cerebral spinal fluid. They did a lumbar puncture. They took some spinal fluid out and saw that that was also clear no evidence of disease. And we just want to thank everyone for your prayers and for people who've reached out over Instagram and people just you know friends and family, texting saying that they were praying and just wishing us well through this period of waiting. It's hard to wait for results like that and we feel very blessed by the good news that we got. We also learned this week from his radiation oncologist that every three months he'll go back in for a lumbar puncture. That's a little bit more frequently than I thought it would be.

Speaker 2

Every three months, though you know it's four times a year. I can deal with that.

Speaker 1

You are amazing. I could not. I don't think I could do it once, so I'm very impressed, Thomas.

Speaker 2

They give you drugs and you forget, so it's all good.

Speaker 1

So we are so grateful and thankful for the good news and we also had this duality of like yes, we're in remission. This time we don't want to have too much foreboding joy of thinking, oh no, what if he's not in remission for the next lumbar puncture? So I think there's this continual ebb and flow and we try to go back to gratitude and being present in the moment and being thankful for that. In this particular season, you are in remission and we celebrate that. So, speaking of seasons transitioning into the main part of our episode today, we are big believers that if Starbucks has its pumpkin spice lattes out, that means that we can officially start to decorate our porch, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 2

I would say we don't make the rules, we don't.

Speaker 1

But we love decorating for all of the seasons. Right now, we put all of our pumpkins and our fake leaves Everything's on our dining room table. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, I am going to try to insert video of that now, so you'll see our video of all the different parts of our decor. After this is done, our reward for podcasting is we're going to go put all the decorations around the house. That's my reward. I don't know if that feels like a reward to you, thomas.

Speaker 2

I love the environmental change In the hospital hacks video. We showed how important it is to kind of take charge of your environment and make it yours and make it cozy and whatever. So I think decorating for holidays is one way some people can comfort themselves and cope with the stresses of life.

Speaker 1

But it's something. I learned from you guys, my grandma is like total goals.

Speaker 2

Yeah, the entire half the garage is just holiday decor.

Speaker 1

And so organized. We aspire to decorate like her, and speaking of decorations, we got an amazing one for your mom for her birthday, as an early birthday present.

Speaker 2

Yeah, we totally did so. My mom's birthday is on September 10th, so we were in Costco and happened upon a big giant, mickey Mouse.

Speaker 1

Like you would straight up see this in Magic Kingdom on Main Street.

Speaker 2

Magic Kingdom yeah, and it was huge, it was amazing.

Speaker 1

I will put a video or a picture of that right now.

Speaker 2

Yeah, we joked about getting it for her, and then we uh actually just decided to get it for her, and then we were gonna wait till her birthday to give it to her, but we couldn't wait could not wait could not wait.

Speaker 2

so, uh, she was elated. She loves disney, she loves decoration, so it made our week to be able to see her light up when she opened that up. If you don't know, she is on hospice now, which means you're less focused on curative interventions and more focused on just comfort care, really, and they let you call the shots a lot and they're just there to help you and be alongside you and support you. She has a great hospice team.

Speaker 1

Yeah, they're great, they're amazing, the nurses are really thoughtful and compassionate and helpful, and we're working with Partners in Care that's the name of the organization and we have nothing but wonderful things to say about them, right.

Speaker 2

Anyways. So we are over at her house, we have her open up this gift, mickey Head, and so she is just elated, the clear place for it to be set up in her living room, in a place of honor, in a place where it's not totally overwhelming but still very noticeable. That was the highlight of my week.

Speaker 1

Me too, and if I'm going to be, be nerdy again, bringing some research in here yeah there's actually research that backs up why it feels good to decorate earlier, to have these things that get you excited about the next season. According to some psychology studies, decorating for holidays early can trigger positive feelings like nostalgia, you know, remembering our grandma and all the decorating we do together and she she's in Florida and we will text back and forth what her decorations look like there, so we're connected. But it, you know, brings up feelings of nostalgia and it gives you a sense of anticipation and also control, like you mentioned in the hospital, when you decorate, you do get a sense of agency and autonomy and all these things are good for your mental well-being and it's about leaning into those small moments that can bring you joy.

Speaker 2

That's good.

Speaker 1

So let's dive into the next part of our episode. We're going to be talking about disappointment now and why it's important to understand disappointment. So when you think about certain seasons of life, happy things come to mind, like pumpkins or pumpkin spice lattes. But what happens when one of your favorite seasons changes and you now find it being challenging or maybe it's not going the way that you were hoping for it to go, and there's some things that you can do to help if you're in that space. I know some people will say that I think it was. Our pastor from last year said Christmas is such a wonderful time of year and also we want to hold space for people because maybe when they enter into the Christmas season it's a reminder of loss and other challenging parts of their life. So just understanding that seasons can look different for different people and it can evolve for you.

Speaker 1

If you ask me what my favorite season is, I'll always say summer. I love the blue skies and the clear air and the warm evenings. And my dad came to visit us in Bend it's summer right now and we went on runs every day. At first it was like barely a jog, like a walk slash kind of jog, but by the end of this trip here, I was able to actually jog. I felt so good about that and it seemed like it was a big win for my mental health. But then, literally the day after he left, the flat fire started and so smoke rolled in, and that's been challenging. Just with it being so smoky, the air quality index has been not great, and we just haven't had those clear days that lend themselves to being able to exercise. I went out on a jog the next day and there was literally ashes falling from the sky and I thought I'm going to go inside. This is my sign I need to turn back around.

Speaker 2

Wildfires are the bane of all runners everywhere and it's been especially tough because you can't be outside exercising. Like you said, that's a vital part of your self-care.

Speaker 1

Exactly.

Speaker 2

It takes a toll.

Speaker 1

The other day I woke up and I just wasn't sure what I was feeling, because I think the day before we had a little break from the smoke and then I was encouraged and the next day I'm like, okay, I'm going to go out and run now. And then when I opened the door it was very smoky again and I wasn't sure what I was feeling. So I was wondering am I discouraged, disappointed, frustrated, a mixture? What that reminded me of was this book called Atlas of the Heart. She. What that reminded me of was this book called Atlas of the Heart. She's pulling up a book. I'm showing a picture of the book on YouTube for our YouTube viewers, and Atlas of the Heart is one of my favorite books from Brene Brown. The subtext is Navigating, meaningful Connection in the Language of Human Experience. So I flipped to this because I wanted to get clear on what I was feeling.

Speaker 1

This kind of funk from the smoke was definitely a smaller example of disappointment. Of course, there are much larger ones. Like you know, starting a family and what health has looked like for us over the last year. So those are certainly kind of the larger aspects of disappointment, but kind of more acutely, what I was aware of most currently was just the smoke, and I learned after reading part of this book. Truly, what I was feeling was more along the lines of disappointment, and she defines disappointment as unmet expectations. Brene Brown says that disappointment can range from mild discomfort to deep hurt. She says that when we paint a picture on our minds of how things are going to be and when that movie fails to play out in real life, we feel let down. I love her depiction of you know, it's almost like we had this full movie in our heads of this is what life's going to be like. And then, of course, when it's not happening that way, when it's not unfolding in that manner in your life, then that's what disappointment, that's when it can start to come in.

Speaker 2

Yeah, we had a really clear movie in our minds about this season of life for us, especially as we thought about becoming parents. We pictured setting up a nursery and having a lot of the traditional milestones. We had to shift our expectations and realize that our movie was going to be different no-transcript Exactly.

Speaker 1

So this brings us to an antidote of sorts I don't know if antidote's the best word, but perhaps this brings us to a way of looking at it. So there's a two-part approach. That's listed in Atlas of the Heart. So the big question that comes up is what's the solution to handling disappointment? And something that Brene Brown offers is kind of a middle path. It's a way to maintain optimism while also being realistic. So she says it requires two things Number one, examining and expressing our expectations. And number two, leaning into good things and cultivating appreciation. Even when it's hard, even when there's disappointment, still cultivating that appreciation.

Speaker 2

Examining and expressing expectations is so important. I think about the time we got an invitation to a Halloween party. It's circus themed and, as you know, I love the movie and books Stephen King's it and Pennywise the Clown. Yes and I have an outfit for Pennywise the Clown.

Speaker 1

I'm going to put a picture right now on our video so you can see him dressed up last year.

Speaker 2

Glorious. I got it at the Halloween store. It's the best $40 I ever spent and it's the Tim Curry one from I don't know the 1990s miniseries on ABC or something like that.

Speaker 1

So, as you can imagine, thomas gets— and it was a very beautifully crafted invite. Like someone busted out their cricket with all the colors, it was like a beautiful piece of art.

Speaker 2

this invite Next level? Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1

And it says you know the dress code is. You need to dress up something circus themed and there's like this creepy clown on the cover of the invite. Thomas was like my time has come. You were like so excited. You went to the closet, you got your clown outfit, you put it next to the invite and texted your friend who sent it to us and I had to gently remind you.

Speaker 1

I was like oh, I know that that sounds like it'd be really fun, but your white blood cells, your neutrophil counts, have been really low, so I'm thinking that probably won't be something that we can do.

Speaker 2

Yeah, and in that moment and even now you know, experiencing disappointment. The movie in my head isn't playing out the way I would want it to or hoped it would. My practicing vulnerability and expressing that to Linz, though, you know, and talking it through, we created a space for connection.

Speaker 1

You know it's been one of our key learnings, because I think when you go through cancer treatment and they talk about survivorship which I didn't even really know much about when people are in active cancer treatment and it's a very intense period and I think there's a lot of interventions and support groups and things that come to mind for us as we think about cancer treatment. But then there's this concept of survivorship when you get into remission and now you're looking at your life and kind of, what is the state of it? What does my life look like? Now we're back in Bend and I think we had this vision of returning, getting in our car, driving back to Bend after your transplant and just having all of our friends crowd surfing, just returning back to this normal life. And yet we're learning that it's looking different because your blood counts still aren't in a place where that's feasible.

Speaker 1

And so this is another quote that I got from Atlas of the Heart that was so important. It brings up this crucial point about how we treat others when they express their hopes and disappointments. So in the book she says when someone shares their hopes and dreams with us, we are witnessing deep courage and vulnerability. Celebrating their success is easy, but when disappointment happens it's an incredible opportunity for meaningful connection. This means to not dismiss someone's pain with an at least statement, or to speak to their prefrontal cortex right. That you know logical decision-making. Part of the brain I think I might've is either in my head or maybe I said this out loud of oh I know you can't go to this party, but at least next year, hopefully he'll throw another party, or you know at least we got to.

Speaker 1

I said that out loud. Okay, I think I even said at least we got to have a Halloween party last year before transplant. Like, your last wish before we went to Portland was to have a Halloween party. So we did that and you dressed up as the clown. And your mom, what did she dress up as?

Speaker 2

Billy Idol. I loved her Billy Idol outfit. It was amazing.

Speaker 1

Yes, I think I even started to say at least we had the party last year. But then I kind of had this realization of oh my gosh, he's expressing this hope and dream, which is connection. I realized in the moment that this was an opportunity to connect with Thomas, to validate him and say man, I am so sorry that you can't go to that party. That really sucks.

Speaker 1

Like this is like a tailor-made event for you and I'm really sorry. We're in a season of life where you can't connect with people in a way that you hoped for, and so I hope that counteracted the at least part at the beginning of what I said in the moment. But I don't know. I just I tried to create a space for you. In the past. I don't think I was as mindful of that.

Speaker 2

No, you made it forward for sure, you showed empathy and I felt, I felt you know, and once I got to express what I was feeling and you acknowledging that and being like, yeah, that does suck um, helps process that that feeling and doesn't downplay it, but just kind of helps it along the path. Whatever it needs to happen, happen yes go through the five stages of grief or whatever about this party. The five stages of anger and denial and bargaining, bargaining yeah, all that good stuff.

Speaker 1

All the things, and I think that there is an aspect of connection where we can say, oh my gosh, that sucks so much, but then also saying do you want to problem solve this? Do you want some perspective? And you can be like no, I just want to feel felt. And I think that's something that we both do, because you might be like yeah, I'm, I'm feeling bummed about this and I would like some perspective, and I can say, okay, perspective, next year we will redo that party here at our house, or which actually is very hard for me to say because I hate clowns, so the thought of us doing that, but I would do that for you, thomas.

Speaker 1

So I think, I think that you can say it's a both and both. This sucks and you know, there there is hope, there is things that we can look forward to, and just striking that balance in the moment when someone is sharing their disappointment with you.

Speaker 2

Which leads us to the second part leaning into the good things and cultivating appreciation. So the Michael and mom podcast interview we did very recently this last week was a great reminder of this. It was super encouraging to hear their stories of gratitude through their own journey, and the fact we all share is that we decorated our hospital rooms to infuse joy like Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving. We're talking a lot about decorating this episode. I feel like Martha Stewart.

Speaker 1

This episode is brought to you by Hobby Lobby Pretty much.

Speaker 2

We're not sponsored by anybody, by the way. We are not. Nope, we're very aware.

Speaker 1

We're acutely aware this is our ministry?

Speaker 2

Yes, they even called our hospital room the Hobby Lobby room, which was a huge compliment. It was so thank you.

Speaker 1

Michael and Mom Talk Cancer podcast is one of my favorite shows to listen to, is one of the podcasts that I listen to on a weekly basis, and we reached out to them because I was hearing all these similarities. Her son had a bone marrow transplant, as did Thomas, so I reached out and said I would love to connect with you. If you've never heard of it before and if you're interested, we'll put a link to their show in the show notes. But both very inspiring people. They are such a great example of people who lean into good things and cultivate appreciation, which is part two of what we learned as Brené Brown's antidote to a two-part approach for navigating disappointment.

Speaker 1

Another way that we're finding chances to lean into the good things is our themed nights that we've been doing with Julie, her treatment and the way that her cancer journey has gone. It's gotten to some hard places and so to keep our spirits high and just to infuse goodness, we've done Disney themed nights. So for Lion King, we watched what's the new movie? It's Mufasa. I loved that movie. What did you think?

Speaker 2

Yeah, I mean the OG Lion King. You know, nothing could touch that Exactly. That's in a league of its own, but that was good. It's good.

Speaker 1

There's one musical number that's not my favorite, but the point is it's a little strange, we were able to watch that movie together. We have matching Lion King shirts that says Hakuna Matata. I'll put that picture in the video as well, here for our episode. And that was a really, really fun moment where we were watching this movie wearing our shirts. Julie and I had our Mickey Mouse ears that have leopard print on them, our Disney ears. And then we watched Moana, too, on a different night, and we got Hawaiian food. Is it Kona Mixed Plate? I think that's the restaurant.

Speaker 2

I think it was Kona Mixed Plate yeah, we should get Kona Mixed Plate.

Speaker 1

Forget cooking. I was going to cook tonight. Let's get Kona Mixed Plate.

Speaker 2

Okay. Done you heard it, you heard it, it's on record.

Speaker 1

It ain't going to make sleep on September 1st 2025. So it's the small moments of joy and tradition that can create a sense of comfort and cultivate appreciation.

Speaker 2

And, as you said last week, two things can be true at the same time. I can be disappointed that I can't go to social gatherings and Halloween parties, and I can be glad I get to go to Costco and buy an absurdly large Mickey pumpkin and see the joy in my mom's face.

Speaker 1

Yes, a couple other things you can do. You can create a playlist of encouraging songs when you're navigating disappointment, if you need a little infusion of positivity. Having some good songs other things you can do to help when you're feeling this disappointment. Getting back into the habit of keeping a gratitude journal, writing down three good things that happened each day, no matter how small, it can really shift your perspective. And for me, if things are really hard, like in the hospital, when you were on the pain pump, when you were having so much discomfort and I was living in the hospital for me the one gratitude that I would put the first thing was like morning coffee. I knew I'd have that every day and just mindfully drinking that, just finding little things. Even if it's smoky out, can you still see the sky, can you still see some sun? Or is your loved one with you? Are there people in your life who you share so much love with? Writing these things down can help your perspective, I think.

Speaker 2

Sure.

Speaker 1

So next let's dive a little deeper into the power of appreciation. Brene Brown has a lot to say about the concept of contentment. She says it's positively correlated with greater life satisfaction well-being. Preliminary evidence shows that experiences of contentment might reverse the cardiovascular effects of negative emotions, which is quite the claim.

Speaker 1

Quite the claim. This leads us to the age-old question if we're not satisfied with our lives, do we need to go out and get more stuff, more things to increase satisfaction, or do we need to stop taking for granted what we already have? And it seems that many emotions that are good for us joy, contentment, gratitude all have this appreciation in common. She defines gratitude as an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others. So that's not to say that you shouldn't go out and get a pumpkin spice latte or little things to infuse joy. I think what I take away from that is those things are okay and also really appreciate the things that you currently have. You know, we talked about the hedonic treadmill where, if you're constantly seeking the next good thing, you're in this treadmill where you're just constantly seeking, never appreciating and pausing and seeing what's in your life that you can appreciate.

Speaker 2

That reminds me of a Bible verse. One of my favorites is from Philippians 4, verses 11 through 13. Paul says I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him, who gives me strength, and so for us Meenlands, our faith is what grounds us, and just knowing God's with us and for us, and whatever's going on with my cancer, we have strength in that.

Speaker 1

So I can always say I'm thankful for my coffee and also just grateful for the relationship that we have with God and just knowing that's our constant, that's something that we get asked of how is it that you're doing so well? How is it that you guys are laughing and joking in the hospital and just expressing this gratitude when so many hard things are happening? And I think that's ultimately one of our big answers is that we have our faith and we have just this understanding that God is with us no matter what, in the hard times, like the footprints in the sand. I love that poem. We'll talk about that in a different episode in more depth. But just you know, when you're on the beach and you look down and the person asks God, why weren't you with me? I only see one set of footprints and he says it's then that I carried you. So just knowing that we're always carried and seen provides us in our faith and in our worldview just so much deep and lasting peace, I would say.

Speaker 2

I also want to mention something your mom told you when I was in the hospital. She said, Lindsay, this is just a season. It's hard, yes, but you're not going to be here forever.

Speaker 1

In that context. It was exactly what I needed to hear, because she validated me. She said I know this is hard. My heart goes out to you, I'm praying for you. In fact, she even got on a plane and flew to Portland several times to come be with us and care for us. That's a six-hour plane ride too.

Speaker 1

That's nothing to sneeze at From Florida, yes, and so it was really, really amazing to have that support and those words that she said in that moment of this is a season was exactly what I needed to hear to know that Thomas was not going to be on the pain control pump forever, he was not going to be getting his IV nutrition for indefinite amount of time. That was a season and it seemed like that was really helpful for you.

Speaker 2

So I think it's good to remember that even in the good seasons it is temporary as well. It's easy to appreciate them, but it can also be bittersweet, especially when you feel like you can't freeze the moment. You know the foreboding joy that Brene Brown talks about like we've talked about that many a time, I think the fear that the good feelings will end. It reminds me of the quote from Andy in the Office I wish we could know when we were in the good old days before we left them.

Speaker 1

I love that quote from Andy. I think about when we used to live and bend on the south side of town and we lived in the neighborhood where my parents were next to us and my grandma was across the street and we were just all in this neighborhood and I think, as Andy says, I wish we could know when we're in the good old days before we've left them. We no longer are geographically close. We are very strong, our relationships are extremely close and our love is so acutely felt, no matter where we are in the country. And also, I think it just comes back to stop look around you and what good things in your life will you miss later, right Like you're in the good old days now. There's parts of your life right now that are amazing that that's not a given that that aspect of your life will always be there. There is a song from Frozen 2 that will make me cry every time. This is probably the most that we've mentioned Disney in one episode.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's a very Disney-heavy episode.

Speaker 1

Every time the Keelys say Disney.

Speaker 2

Hopefully our listeners are stuck in there.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I hope y'all are hanging in with this one, but there's this song that says it goes Some Things Never Change. I don't know if that's the title of it, but it's kind of a powerful reassurance against the foreboding joy that you know. I think Elsa says that I can't freeze this moment, but I can go out and seize the day or something to that effect. And it's funny because it starts with Olaf saying to Anna he says I don't know how to do the Olaf voice, but something like, do you ever worry about the notion that nothing is permanent? And she just says no and Olaf says really, because I've been worried about that my entire life.

Speaker 1

It's just kind of funny, kind of the adult humor there, but just the existential crisis that little snowman was having. But just realizing that, what are the constant things in our lives, what are the things that never change? And I love that in this particular song they talk about, while seasons shift, things that never change. It's like our love for each other. And I think either Olaf or Anna says, like the feel of your hand in mine, what we can find as a constant amidst the challenges is something that we can hold on to. So I really I love that and appreciate that part of the song and of the movie.

Speaker 1

I've cried to that song many times.

Speaker 2

I can't say I have, but I appreciate it, you've seen me at least. Yeah, I've gotten secondhand emotions from that song. It's great.

Speaker 1

I like that secondhand emotions. And that was a time I watched Frozen 2, at a time when a lot of the people who were in my sphere my close family and friends had moved within a short amount of time, and so I was just on the couch. You know, petting Kitty and you were at work at Penn Surgery Center and I just had this, you know, awareness of the fact that I love these people, the depth of love that you have for people when you miss them. You know, I think when we miss people or when we miss a season, it's a reminder of the level of love and connection that we had, rather than, you know, I'm just so upset and sad. It's a both.

Speaker 1

And I'm sad I miss these people, I miss this season, and I am so supremely grateful for the love, for the connection that I have experienced. And what does that look like now in this season of life? So my brother and sister-in-law moved back to Bend, which is amazing. We're going to see them tomorrow for Crab Legs Very much looking forward to that and we get to see my parents and my grandma whenever we go to Florida. So we find ways to stay connected and I want to make sure that just there's gratitude, and that there's this appreciation of what we have in our lives in each of the seasons.

Speaker 2

Good.

Speaker 1

So shall we wrap up with a few key takeaways from today's conversation? Let's do it About navigating seasons of life. Number one is acknowledge your unmet expectations. When your current season doesn't look like the movie in your head, it's okay to feel disappointed. The first step is to acknowledge that feeling and maybe even share it with someone that you trust. The brain's prefrontal cortex, which handles emotion regulation and problem solving. It works best when we put our words to our emotions. What do you call it? Name it to tame it.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, name it. To tame it, name it to tame it.

Speaker 1

It helps us process these emotions rather than letting them overwhelm us. So just pause. I think I have a movie in my head of how this would play out. So just acknowledge what that movie was. And I think that's so helpful because, instead of just walking around like I'm so mad, I'm so frustrated, if you pause and say okay, I think I'm feeling disappointed. Disappointment comes from unmet expectations. What were my expectations? Oh, I expected that the rest of the summer in Bend, oregon, was going to be perfectly clear, with blue skies, and I could run every day.

Speaker 2

It's pretty, pretty crazy expectation, though, to be honest, it's all order.

Speaker 1

Which is not a realistic expectation. Brene Brown talks about reality checking expectations and that can be super important, like if you're being hard on yourself I know you've been hard on yourself before. We were like man, we didn't record a podcast today. In your mind, when you're thinking about the day you had this movie of I'm going to do a podcast, is what you told me you were thinking, and then you got really sick the last few days where you were throwing up and just not feeling well. So, of course, reality checking that expectation that today we might not get to all the things that we were- hoping Not, ideal Not ideal, exactly.

Speaker 1

So I think acknowledging your unmet expectations, maybe sharing that with someone else, and reality checking them and being like, oh yeah, maybe this expectation isn't something that is what fits for this season of life.

Speaker 2

That's good.

Speaker 1

Number two cultivate joy and appreciation. This is about actively seeking out the good in your current season, even if it feels small. Find ways to create joy, whether that's by decorating your house. This is about actively seeking out the good in your current season, even if it feels small. Find ways to create joy, whether that's by decorating your house or a hospital room, savoring a simple cup of coffee or telling people in your life how much you love them. Practicing gratitude can increase dopamine and serotonin, the brain's feel-good chemicals, which are vital for your health and for your perspective.

Speaker 1

Tip number three give yourself grace. Sometimes life is about allowing ourselves to rest and put the to-do list on the back burner. I was really tempted to be frustrated with myself for napping the other day when I had so many adulting tasks that had to be done, but Thomas reminded me the power of being a human being versus a human doing or human beings. It's really important for us to cultivate self-compassion and realize that our worth does not come from the things that we do and what we accomplish, but we are intrinsically, inherently worthy of love and belonging without the need to get everything done.

Speaker 2

Good.

Speaker 1

Well, thank you so much for joining us today for this special seasonal episode. We went on multiple tangents about decorating, but you know Fun little rabbit trails. Fun rabbit trails. That was kind of the gist of several parts of this episode. We just want to thank you for taking time out of your day to listen, to join us in this season of our life, as we navigate a variety of challenges, and we feel so good knowing that so many of you are praying and coming alongside us for this journey.

Speaker 2

And hopefully some part of this episode was helpful to you.

Speaker 1

And, if it was, feel free to share it with someone else who might be going through a season of life in which they could need some encouragement or a reminder that they're not alone and that it's okay to be disappointed and there's ways to have appreciation in our hardest of seasons. Thank you so much for listening to this episode and we will talk with you soon.

Speaker 2

Take care.

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Lindsey Kealey

Host
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Thomas Kealey

Host

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Lindsey Kealey: Social & Emotional Learning Specialist