Boundaries are the Core of Your Business Interview with Janice Whiting from Million Women Exchange

It's always fun for me to be the interviewee once in a while! 

Janice Whiting from "Million Women Exchange" interviewed me for her audience this last week about how Boundaries really are the core of your business success...

But in reality, they're the core of anything that you desire to be successful.

In today's episode, I dive into why your boundaries matter in your business and why it opens you up to manifest what you really want in life. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Hello everybody! I hope you are having a wonderful, wonderful day. We are really kind of closing out the Million Women Rising Wisdom Exchange with Erin Anderson, and I am so excited to introduce her to you. If you haven't seen her lives, please go. Amazing analogies and connection and understanding boundaries and trauma. And I'm just grab a pencil and a piece of paper. You're gonna want to take some notes. You're gonna you're gonna learn some stuff today. So let's get to know Erin and let's learn a little bit about trauma and boundaries. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Janice Whiting. I'm the founder of the Million Women Rising Wisdom Exchange. And I am just blessed and honored to get to sit here today with this amazing, beautiful woman and learn about this. So, Erin, tell us a little bit about what you do and why do you do it?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Sure, absolutely. Um, so I was to tell the story, I've got to kind of go back a little bit. Um, I started off by coaching women through betrayal trauma, right? Because it's something that me and my husband have dealt with in our own marriage. And um even though like I went to therapists, I went to counselors, like I was trying everything I could think of to heal like how I was feeling and how broken I felt. Going to counselors and therapists helped a little bit, but I was just getting this is how you cope with it. Yeah, if that makes sense. And I didn't want to cope with it. It was like living with a vampire, like this is how you live with a vampire, right? Like, no, I didn't want to do that, I really didn't. Like, let's see, Vic the frickin' vampire, right? He can like do something else, like out, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:03

I don't think he's gonna hear the recording, so you can just go down.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Yeah, right. Okay, right.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

By the way, side note, they're still married, so it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yes, yes, we are. We are, we are, we're still married. There are still days I'm like, but there's probably still days he's like, uh, right? Like it still happens, but um, you know, when I got looking at my betrayal trauma and also the trauma that other women were coming to me with, it wasn't just about their husbands, like mine came from childhood, it came from you know, development, it came from colleagues. Like I started noticing like trauma was something that was really prevalent in all aspects and all relationships in my life. And I was noticing the same thing happening with a lot of my clients, yeah. And um, you know, it was coming from society, like it like there's just a lot of it out there, unfortunately. And just because we heal it doesn't mean it ever goes away, right? Yes, absolutely. But when we start like actually understanding the tools, and the next point of this would be boundaries. Once we start understanding those pieces and what boundaries actually are, because they're not taught right, they're not when we start understanding those things, when trauma comes our way, we know how to heal it quickly, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yes, well, so you know, I I want to unpack just a little bit because I think sometimes when we hear the word trauma, we're thinking about big things, like big, huge things. But sometimes trauma is we it happens to us, and you know, it's almost like a side note in our life. Yeah, we pick it up and we carry it with us. And I would love you to unpack that a little bit for our listeners to you know understand. We're not necessarily, I mean, we are talking about big things, but we're also talking about some little things and that we just pick up and we start carrying. And I'd love you to help our listeners understand that a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Yes, yeah. Well, see, that gets into the like the second part of this, and that's the boundaries. Okay, right. Okay, because you're right, like we do, life is a daily thing, it happens to us every single day. Thank heavens, like so grateful for that, right? Yes, but you're right, there are things that because life is a repeatable thing, there are things that are also on repeat in our life, right? And so you're talking about even just these little things, like say, for instance, like last summer was actually kind of dramatic for me because you know, I I live on a homestead, we have like lots of chickens, and I love those chickens. And to see, like, like I baby them, we pet them, like we cuddle them, we we we interact with with them. They're they become our pets, right? Right. And last summer, for some reason, they were just dying left and right, and we couldn't figure out what it was, and it was almost on a daily basis, right? And eventually, what ended up happening with every single day another chicken dead, I struggled going out around my flock. Okay, right? Do you see what I mean? Yeah, and so that happens to us in a sense with business too. Like we have clients that maybe on a daily basis that don't connect with us, or we're not getting the the clients into us like we want, or we're not getting the sales, we're the the the revenue, like like there's so many aspects to business that are happening on a daily basis. We're not finding the time to market, we're not like we're not, we're not, we're not, we're not. And after time, all those little things build up, and what do we do? We start avoiding the chickens, right? We start avoiding our business, we start avoiding the marketing, we start avoiding our clients, or we I like we get into a point where we're like, oh, like my clients are either just driving me crazy, or why won't these people like understand? And like it's it's frustrating, right? But one thing I have learned is that frustration is a hundred percent you breaking your boundaries. That is an yes, that is an emotion that is telling you that you are breaking your own boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Oh, I really want you to dive more into that. That is fascinating. So you guys hear that? When you're getting frustrated, you're breaking your boundaries. Oh, I and I don't know. Put frustrated in the comments if you can relate to what we're talking about business, we're talking about marketing, we're talking about trying to get everything done and still have relationships, family. Yes. Frustrated. So if we reframe this and we see this a little bit differently, help us understand that because I think that's a super interesting distinction.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yes. Well, to understand that, you also have to understand what what not trauma, I'm sorry, but what boundaries are. Okay. Okay. People will sit there and tout that they are the the panel or the wall between you and another person. Okay. Right. This is why we have coaches. I have had coaches tell me, oh, don't use boundaries, they're bad. They put a wall between you and another person. Or I have them also say, Oh, boundaries are fabulous because you control the situation. And it's it's it's it's not well defined. Okay. Boundaries are a hundred percent about you, how you choose to show up for you, how you choose to be, who you're deciding to be today, tomorrow, and the next day, right? In a way that makes you proud of yourself, like yourself, and love yourself. Right? That is what a boundary is. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

And that's that's interesting. I'm sorry, that I mean, I think that's interesting because I actually I've never seen I've never heard it framed that way, in that boundaries, usually it's an external thing. It's like I'm putting boundaries for you to not cross over. It's interesting the way you're framing it, is it it's about me. I mean, I get I get the the nuance of the two, but I think it's interesting. So go on.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Yeah, well, absolutely. Well, people and they'll they'll say that that it's like what happens between you and another person because in reality, how you choose to show up in your life in a way that makes you happy and fulfilled does affect other people, right? Our choices always affect other people no matter what, right? Right, and so, like, we can choose to show up a certain way, but what we've learned somewhere in childhood is that to stay safe, we have to stay silent. To stay safe, we have to please this person, and so we'll be on this track, and I see people get frustrated. This is where the frustration comes in. People get on this track and they're like, This is where I'm gonna go, and then all of a sudden, that childhood trauma is triggered. Okay, and it's like they're yanked off of that road through the boonies in through the desert, and they find themselves broken down in the middle of the desert, wondering how the heck did I get here in the first place? Okay, right? Yeah, because they're trying to people please be try because they're trying to overgive, they're trying to stay silent, they're trying to stay safe. Okay, because as children, we have to have somebody else advocate for us. And if we didn't have the advocation, well, we learned this is how we stay safe. Okay, right, right. So that's what happens. The whole point of healing trauma is unlearning it. Okay, right? And learning who we are, what we stand for, how amazing we truly are. You know, I'm I'm a Christian, I'm very big on God. Anchoring into who God created you to be, if you're not a if you're not a God follower, you don't believe in God, Jesus Christ, et cetera, then the question I'd have for you is what is your highest form of love? Right, right? Because anchoring into that love, the the kind of love that knows every hair on your head, the kind of love that knows every skin cell, the kind of love that is out there that div that designed this entire universe for you to live in and thrive in, right? That grew a banana in Ecuador, sent it to your grocery store with nutrition filled for you specifically, what your body's gonna need in that moment, so you would pick it up and eat it, right? That's the type of love I'm talking about. Okay, and if we vision ourselves through that lens, what is the difference? Are we viewing ourselves still with this? Oh, I have to people, please, my voice doesn't matter, I have to stay safe, or are we starting to realize holy heck, I'm freaking awesome. Okay, okay, okay, because once we start understanding our true potential, our true worth, how amazing we really are, that we have been created by this type of love, that we are love, we are truth. When we start understanding that and how we deliver that to the world, okay, we start to have faith in ourselves, we start to like ourselves, we start to enjoy our own company, and that's a big deal because you're the one person you can't abandon ever, right? Right, right, yeah. No matter what happens, you will always have to live with yourself, and so if you don't like all pieces of yourself, love every single piece, then you will always feel in a way outside of yourself, and you won't receive what you say you want.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

And that's what you're talking about in your in your talks. You're talking about manifestation, yes, talking about, yeah, yes, yes. So I'm gonna back up a little bit. So I'm feeling frustrated. So frustration is is this manifestation, if I've got this right, of some sort of trauma. And it's the boundary thing where I'm I'm not respecting, am I getting this right? I'm not, you know, holler out, hollering if I'm getting it right. So so for our our listeners, watchers right now, what are they paying attention to? So if if I'm feeling frustrated, what should I be paying attention to? Because frustration, usually you just react. I know I do, I just react. So, what else can I do in this this point where maybe I'm frustrated with my spouse or I'm frustrated with my business and I start to do bad behavior? What can I do to kind of catch myself?

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Sit in it for just a minute. Okay. Okay, because let me tell you something every single emotion takes 90 seconds to burn out of our body chemically. Okay. Okay. Only 90 seconds. If you sit there and you have a comedian that is making you laugh, it and you time that laugh a little bit, it takes 90 seconds for that to chemically burn out of your body. The same thing is happening, the same thing is true with anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, etc. When you just sit in it without re-triggering it, meaning just don't think about it, just feel it for a minute. Okay. Okay. Once that emotion cools for a second, then we get to ask some questions like, what is that emotion trying to tell me? You need to understand that your emotions are the bridge between your subconscious and your conscious brain. So when emotions come up, it's something in your subconscious that's trying to come into the consciousness.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

They're trying to get your attention. That's it. Okay. But we react because there's such a force behind it that we feel like we need to do something, or or whenever, whenever we have that, like it gives us motivation, actually, right? To do something. But emotion should be used for wise motivation to push us into the right direction. If we're just reacting to react, then it gives us crazy, unsustainable, and all over the place results, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Have you journal or anything? Or when you say sit with your emotion, um, well, it's really hard to turn off that monkey mind. It's really hard to turn off the the chatter, chatter, chatter. How so should we be doing a meditation?

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Should we be doing something that focus on your breathing only? Okay. Like, yes, all to all that stuff, but not at the moment. This is a sign right now that you're you're kind of overwhelmed. And so if you add things on, it'll overwhelm you further. However, if you pull it back for just a second and you focus on your breathing, it will help again not re-trigger what just happened, okay. It'll just give you the moment to sit and be with it for a second, okay? So think about this kind of like a mom, okay? I've got six kids, I love my kids with all my heart and soul, right? But when they yes, it it is, it's a very crazy, very, very interesting, very busy life. But when my kids come to me and they're like, right? Yeah, I'm not reacting because if I react, or if I start to journal, or if I start to get on my phone or something like that, then I'm not paying attention, I'm not connecting to them. Okay, right. Sitting with them for just a second and just listening to what they're saying, not taking it for truth, not taking it for a lie, just listening to what is coming out of them. Right? You gotta understand that language is spoken in three ways. Yes, with our words, but also with our actions and our energy. So when they're coming with all these actions and this big, huge emotion, and it's coming out of their mouth really, really fast, and their energy is scattered, and etc. When I just sit with them for a second and I breathe, that's a lot, right? I'm sitting them sitting with them in compassion. Part of the reason why we we react to our emotions in any other way except for this is because we are afraid of the judgment that we might give ourselves when the emotion comes up. We often land in self-judgment and not in self-compassion, right? Yeah, so here's me as mom sitting here listening to my kids without judgment, just compassion. Yeah, I know this emotion. I've experienced anger, I've experienced big anger, I've wanted to have these big, huge outbursts, I've wanted to go punch something. I like I get it, right? Then after they've they're able to calm the emotion down, okay, because that's where we need to be. Okay. Calming the emotion, because we won't be able to hear, we won't be able to take in information if our emotions are really, really elevated. Then we can get curious. So tell me a little bit more about that anger. Like, why do you think that showed up? Right? Oh, because my sister was doing this and it really frustrated me. I get ya. Yeah, I can see how that would be frustrating. Tell me more about why that frustrated you because she didn't do what I said. Oh okay. Is she supposed to do what you say? Yes, well, right, right. Yes, yes, I'm like, she is, right? She is. Are you sure? Right? Are you like, are you telling me that you're the parent here? What role are you trying to fill? Right. And so when we sit here and we get curious for just a few minutes, truth can come out. When truth comes, it anchors into back into the self-compassion and a boundary comes up. This is how this works. Okay. And so, for an example, um say like so, okay. Growing up, I had a yeller for a mom, right? And you know, I think that that was pretty normal in a way for for moms back then to get kind of loud and and big hairy and scary, right? But it was kind of traumatic for me, like, you know, growing up with a yeller. And so when I had my own kids, I was like, I don't want to be a yeller. Guess what I ended up being? Darn it, yes. I know that was that was the example, that's what I had seen, right? Yes, and then I'd get super guilty and I'd get into this cycle of judgment and like dad nab it, Aaron. And all of a sudden now the yelling's coming back to myself, right? Okay. What ended up happening is when I stopped for just a minute and walked away from my kids when they were triggering me. Kids are wonderful for triggering us, like great, right? Yeah, I walked away for a minute, sat in it without triggering it. I would just breathe because that's not what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a mom that heard her kids, that was able to understand her kids, be able to connect with her kids when they needed her to be someone of trust, right? No matter what. That's what I wanted. And so the action wasn't matching up with what I wanted. Okay. I knew that. I knew that. Similar, like when we say that we want a business that has like six, seven figures. If we're not marketing, if we're not out there connecting, if we're not networking, if we're not speaking up, if we're not being that, we're not gonna hit there, right? We're not gonna get that result. The actions have to align up with the result. So for me, sitting in the emotion for a second and then getting curious, like why did that trigger me? Because I'm so tired of feeling burnt out. I'm so tired of having to clean up the mess again. I'm so tired of being the maid, right? I can relate to. That right, yeah, you can then make it to get curious about okay, well, why am I showing up as the maid? Why am I telling them in some way that that's what I am? If that's not what I am, why am I giving that vibe?

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Okay, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Okay. And at first, like that Langean self-judgment, like, oh right? Why on earth? Why, why, why? But when we stop for a minute and we're like, okay, I'm hearing that I don't want to be the maid. I feel that guilt and I feel that judgment. So what do I want to be?

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Okay, so then reframe, then. So is this the boundary part where you're is this starting to form? I love this. I'm I just want to recap really quick because I think it's important because we've covered a lot of grounds. Is that when you're feeling frustration, you're you're you basically you're getting triggered. You're got yeah, I know we're we're kind of wearing that word out, but something is come bubbling up to the surface that's impacting it's it's coming, you're not even sure what it is, and you're saying, don't just react, stop. How many seconds? 90 seconds, 90 seconds, 90 seconds. So you know, we can all do a sit-up for 90 seconds, maybe I don't know, trying to do a plank for 90 seconds. So sit with it for 90 seconds, get curious about then, but don't don't get curious right away. Hold for a second just because you're too wrapped up in it. You need to get to the other side of that emotional state of whatever you're in. Then then you get yourself curious, and then you start understanding. If I'm understanding this correctly, because this is where we just left off, is we're now trying to repaint the lines. Yep. That and I loved your analogy of the fence, and I really want you to tell that analogy. Okay. That that I can see, that's a really good thing. You're re you only in this calm emotional state on the other side of this emotional state, can you then start to repaint these lines around and and you then start to redefine it because when we started, you said it's about you. This is boundaries are about you, not about the other person. And we really like to put boundaries on other people, they own the boundaries. Okay, so now go. I just want to make sure everybody's caught up because we've covered a lot.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Yes, yes, and it is a lot to cover in just a little bit of time, but so for me it was I am the mom. Okay, do you hear the I am statement? Yes, I don't believe in in um oh what are they called? Uh affirmations. Okay, I believe in truth. Okay, okay. Affirmations are boundaries in infancy. When you sit there and say, Yes, when you say I am the mom, if you don't come in and define what mom is, then it's up to for debate, it's up for discussion, it's up for the maid role. Okay, makes sense. Yes, to me, mom was an educator, mom was a listener, mom was present, mom was calm, mom was grounded, mom took time for herself so she could give all these things emotionally to her kids. I had to define what mom was. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

No, this is yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

This is me living inside of my bat my value of my family, okay, right? Yes, boundaries also work within your values. Okay, okay. You have to define what that boundary says, what that looks like, and then when you do that, it starts to define the actions behind it. Once you define the actions behind it, like sitting with them, listening, not getting emotionally charged, getting grounded, taking time for yourself. Do you see all that action statement?

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Right? Oh, yeah, very much so.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Then you have the actions that are going to get you the result you say you want. Okay, right. So your boundaries are foundational for your results. People don't behave above their self-belief.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Oh, I love that. Oh, guys, write that down. Get a pen. That's a writer-downer one. Yes. Say it again. Say it one more time.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

People do not behave above their self-belief. Oh, that is so awesome. I love it. So if you say you're a million-dollar earner, if you don't believe it, it ain't happening.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

I think, I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you've got it. The point I really am getting here, and I'm hearing from you, is you have to define it. Yes. You it and and I love that because I so many times people want something, but they haven't actually defined what they want. Yes. I want to be a good mom. Well, what is a good mom? What is want to be a you know, seven-figure earner in my business? What is that? What does that mean? Who are who are you? Who who not who are you to do this? Who who do you who do you need to believe you are?

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Yes, and who are you going to be, right? And start taking actions towards that. And so now, like when my kids frustrate me, which is actually really rare. Okay, I sit with it for a minute and I'm like, okay, what am I not doing for me?

SPEAKER_04 28:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Okay. Usually it comes down to, oh, you know what? I haven't taken time for myself in like this amount of time because I've been busy with this, and I've been busy with this, and I've been busy with this. You know what I need? I need time, I need quiet, I need peace. That's why I'm frustrated. And then I put plug that back in, right? Frustration. Are you telling me that I'm not taking enough time for myself? And if that's true, the emotion quiets, it settles completely, right? Yes, yes, and so this is why I say like boundaries really are the foundation to anything we try to manifest in our life. It comes with who we say we're going to be. And we get to define that, what that space looks like. And so you're talking about this analogy about the fence, right? And I'm gonna give that right now. What it basically is is you get to decide what your property line looks like. You are your property, you are your own property, you get to decide what that looks like, right? So I want you to imagine like this is what my like external great property would look like. I've got this beautiful home, right? I've got horses, I've got chickens, I've got a beautiful lawn, space for the kids, right? And in the property line, there's this gorgeous fence around it. And inside the fence, there might be like some gardens, like maybe some vegetable gardens, flower gardens, etc., inside the fence line. Okay. If somebody comes up and hops my fence and tramples the flowers and drags mud up my stairs and into my home, I'm gonna take them probably by the ear and take them right back out, right? And show them where the gate is and say, This is how you enter my home. This is how you enter my space, right? If you want to enter my space and you want to be a part of this, then here's what you do. You got to come in the gate, you gotta walk up the pathway, brush your shoes off, take them off at the door. Then let's come in and sit down and have a discussion. Right? Don't trample my flowers, don't trample my vegetables. I've worked hard for that. Okay. You might have somebody that yells at you and says, This is not the property line. I want the property line over here, right? Guess what? They don't get to decide. That property line is anchored in, it is cemented in. You have the paperwork showing that this is your fa your your property line. Your paperwork is the God, that the highest form of love. That's your property line. Okay. You can also have people that um try to bulldoze the fence. They like there's lots of there's lots of ways that people try to break the boundary, right? Or try to tell you how your space should look. And there are times that we have to make repair with ourselves. Okay, there are times we're gonna have to repair that fence because somebody bulldozed it.

unknown 32:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

There's times we're gonna have to sweep out our our hallway because somebody tracked mud in. Boundaries are upkeep too. Okay, but they're also constantly growing, we're constantly nurturing, we're constantly trimming the grass, nurturing those flowers, changing the way our front room looks, changing the way our the outside of the house looks. Like we get to keep the change coming in, right? We still get to decide what it looks like.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Yeah, it nobody else does. If I'm understanding correctly, that when you're doing your reflection and you're defining, like you said, you want defined what does a mom mean, this is you building those boundaries. So you know when someone is trampling through your flower bed. Because if if I'm if I'm making the connection all the way back to I'm frustrated, it's it's if somebody's breaking a boundary and I kind of don't really understand what my boundaries are, I haven't defined my property and you're trampling. I don't know why I'm frustrated with you. I'm frustrated, but if I know that you're trampling my flowers and I know exactly how to tell you what you're doing wrong, like this is not okay with me, that you're tracking mud in my house, and that's the important step where you define it.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Yes, but there's actually one step further to this, okay? Okay, okay. When you hold your boundaries, you are telling people that they get to be the very highest version of themselves when they are in your space.

SPEAKER_03 33:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Okay. I don't allow people with muddy shoes in my front room. I allow people with respect in my front room. Right, right? They get to show up as their best selves. Now, if they don't want to do that, that's cool, that's awesome. I send them away with love. And let them know, hey, that gate is locked for you. Okay. But people respect me because I respect myself. And because I respect myself and I've created this space, when they are inside of it, they get to respect themselves too.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

And so conversations actually form around that. So, like with my kids, right? Say like the kitchen didn't get done again, which is something that happens a lot in my home, right? Yes. Instead of why didn't you do the kitchen? Why, why, like, oh, nope, sorry, this is a boundary violation, blah blah you're like, no, I asked them, hey, is this the best you can do? Is this like you're telling me by your actions right now that this is the best you can do? That's not the vision I have for you. I for me, when I see you, I see someone who's hardworking, who's dedicated, who pays attention to the details, etc. So my vision and your vision aren't matching. Which one's correct? Right? 99% of the time people want to buy into the higher vision of themselves. Because here's the kicker people are getting into coaching not because they want more money, not because they want better relationships, but because they actually want to know themselves better. They want to define themselves as an entrepreneur, they want to define themselves as a mom, they want to define themselves. This is why you have things like um uh human design and the the astrology and things like that. And it's because people want to figure out what works for them.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

But it's simple when we realize and we're present with ourselves, it becomes so much simpler. We don't have like I believe that God celebrated our birth in the stars. I totally believe that, but I think that it doesn't need to be that complicated. It simply just needs to be who do you want to be? What makes you love and appreciate yourself? How do you connect back in with that highest form of love? Because if we have entrepreneurs that are subscribing to that, that is what is going to change the pain that we see in this world.

SPEAKER_01 37:06

Powerful, very powerful. So let me ask you this. This I mean, guys, I hope you took notes because I definitely, I mean, I'm over here taking notes. I'm trying to step down like that's good stuff. So I I normally ask people to give a piece of advice as we start to wrap up. And I'm telling you, that path you just gave literally, she just handed you the step-by-step process on how to shift every day, any point in time, you need to shift. Yep. Stop, take a breath. All you need is 90 seconds, sit with it, explore it a little bit, decide how you're going to redefine it. I'm sure I'm missing a lot of you know, good stuff in there. Um, you know, create your boundaries, hold to them. You have to understand, you have to have the definition first. If I'm understanding this correctly, if you don't have it defined, then you know, I always say, because I've done a huge amount of work in leadership development, and I always said people hide in chaos. And the more chaos and unclarity you have in your unit, in your department, wherever, the more people hide and play games. And you do this with your people do it with you. They test, they push buttons. Just have kids. You've got six training down everything. So just go to Aaron's house and hang out for a week and watch it unfold, right?

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Oh, yeah, we get we get it.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Yep. So I I know there's there's listeners, watchers right now who would love to hear more, connect with you. I know you offer a a I I don't know, it's free, right? Yeah, free consultation. Yep. You know what? I'll tell you, that's a gift. Um, a free consultation to jump on a call and to connect. Do you want to share a little bit more about what happens during that call? Sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

And so, like, just with any coaching call, like we we we hear like where you're at to where you want to be, but because I've been so practiced in what boundaries are and like hearing like the subconscious and the conscious, yeah, I really get to hear what's down inside that subconscious brain. Yes, during that conversation, and so I'll ask you questions about like what I'm hearing to get more clarity. And in that time, I'm gonna say, okay, I want you to apply this boundary and this boundary and this boundary to that problem, that emotion. How does it change? Okay, and what ends up happening within that 60 minutes of so I do 60 minutes. Yes, okay. Yep, within that 60-minute call, people see their pathway forward. They start to see like how they can respond to a client or their spouse or their kids or etc., because they're now seeing this part of themselves, and this part of themselves communicates, like I said, in words, actions, and energy.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:02

To stay consistent. Okay. So I help my clients that come in with this free call. We establish the boundary, we establish the definition of the boundary, the actions behind the boundary, and what the results are, right? So that way they have a really clear path forward. This call, by the way, is not a sales call. This is 100% just a coaching call that I gift, I gift once to people who are wanting help. If they want more help from there, then we set schedule another call and we talk about like my programs and my offerings at that point. But this just gives me a chance to connect into you and help you with your next steps.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Okay. I'm gonna ask and answer this question. Okay. Um, listeners, so you should call Aaron and schedule a one-hour consultation coaching call, which is free, which is amazing. That's impressive. Um, if you are dot dot dot, how will they identify and self-identify themselves as someone who would be a benefit to connect with you? And you guys, I want you to, I'm gonna say this. She has radio shows, she has free stuff. I mean, getting into her world is it's not just this call and potentially, oh, you know, it is enter into her conversation. You just sat here and spent 37 minutes with Erin. And I don't know about you, but I have had light switches go on in my head about I don't, you know, it it's like a lot of the here's the thing, I'll tell you, this is how you know somebody who's really knows what they're talking about, is when they can unpack something so complicated as what we were just talking about in a way that just clicked. I'm like, that makes so much sense. And it feels doable, it feels actionable, and that is awesome. So answer the question. I should call Aaron if I am.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

So if you are a mompreneur, so we're talking mompreneurs from the spectrum of I stay home with my kids, I maybe work from the office, maybe I don't. I am creating a home that's entrepreneurship at its finest. Okay. You're still creating products, you're still creating value, you're still creating something there. Okay. Entrepreneurship doesn't always mean you get paid. Two, which is true. That's a very true Steve.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

That's a very true.

SPEAKER_00 42:41

You're paying everybody else but you okay, it's so true. But to the the Mompreneur who does have a business, who maybe is six or seven figures into the business, right? That's the spectrum we're talking about. It's a pretty big spectrum. But if you find yourself sitting here saying, I wish my relationships would show up to support me more, I wish my husband would step in and help me with the kids more. I wish I had more time for myself. I wish I had more money. I wish I had say the thing, right? If that's what you're thinking, okay, let's get on a call together.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Awesome. Awesome. Oh, thank you so much. This has been so much fun to unravel all of this. And I just absolutely love the way you presented this. I feel like it's it's one of the best, it's one of the best I've ever heard about helping unravel all of this emotional state and boundaries. And I love the connection between, you know, it starts with boundaries and understanding how to define those. And that is awesome. So thank you so much for being a part of the Million Women Rising Wisdom Exchange. We are so blessed to have you. Watchers, listeners, please go find her. I'll put I'll put her links in the comments, but also we'll put a link in the comments so you can schedule a time. And we just any parting words, any parting advice, tips, tricks, anything else you'd like our listeners to know.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

Manifestation, and I will say this, Mary Morrissey says this that anything you want to manifest comes at the level of love and above. Oh, I like that. And so if you love yourself entirely, there's no part of you that gets left outside of that love, but manifestation is easy.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

Wow, that's awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, we're gonna sign off, and so we just thank you guys for listening in. Thanks, you guys. See you soon. Bye.