Episode 6: Nine Years Later...Coming Home to Myself

Episode 6: Nine Years Later… Coming Home to Myself

Nine years ago, I heard the words that changed my life forever:

“You have breast cancer.”

Every year on July 13th, I find myself reflecting on the woman I was that day—the woman who had absolutely no idea where life was about to take her, what she would survive, what she would lose, what she would rebuild, or who she would eventually become.

But this year, my reflection led me somewhere I wasn't expecting.

Home.

After a double mastectomy, even your own home feels different. The everyday things you never think twice about—reaching into a cabinet, getting dressed, washing your hair, picking something up—suddenly require help.

And for me, recovery brought another painful realization: I could be surrounded by the walls of my own home and still feel incredibly alone.

Looking back nine years later, I realize that so much of my journey has been about finding my way home.

Not just to a physical home.

To myself.

Cancer changed my relationship with my body. Recovery changed how I saw my home and my relationships. Divorce changed what home looked like again. And now, as I prepare to send my daughter off to college, home is about to change once more.

Through every version of home, I've had to meet a new version of myself.

Maybe you have too.

In this very personal episode of Empowered Connections, I'm sharing why I've decided to press record again—perfectly imperfect—and why I believe our hardest chapters don't have to be where our stories end.

Sometimes they're where we begin again.

And maybe...

just maybe...

they're leading us home.

In this episode, we talk about:

• My reflections nine years after my breast cancer diagnosis
• What no one prepares you for when you come home after major surgery
• The loneliness of not feeling supported—even in your own home
• The people who show up when you need them most
• Why I started sharing my breast cancer journey
• How Bustin' Out of Breast Cancer eventually evolved into Empowered Connections
• Standing on your story instead of staying stuck in it
• How cancer, divorce, motherhood, empty nesting, real estate, and reinvention have shaped my understanding of “home”
• Why I'm bringing the podcast back perfectly imperfect
• The realization that sometimes coming home isn't about returning to who you were—it's about meeting who you've become

Something to think about:

What chapter of your life have you been looking at as the end... when maybe it's actually leading you somewhere you can't see yet?

And maybe it's leading you home.

💗 Continue the Conversation

If you're navigating a new chapter, rebuilding, reinventing yourself, or simply trying to figure out who you are now, I'd love to welcome you into the Empowered Connections Facebook community.

There is always room for one more.

👉 Join the Empowered Connections Facebook Group:

🏡 Reintroducing Yourself to You

If you're in a season of rediscovering who you are, download my free guide, Reintroducing Yourself to You.

Think of it as one small step toward coming home to yourself.

👉 Download your free guide:

Wherever life finds you today, I hope you know this:

You're welcome here.

There's always room for one more.

And there will always be a seat at my table.

Welcome home.

Sending you big hugs and lots of love,

Shannon 💗

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello friends and welcome home. I'm Shannon Brose and I'm so glad you're here. Whether you're driving, taking a walk, folding some laundry, sitting with a cup of coffee, I don't know, maybe you've even poured yourself a glass of wine. Kudos to you. Anyway, thank you so much for spending a little time with me today. If you have not grabbed your coffee or your wine, go ahead and grab your favorite beverage of choice, pull up a chair, and let's chat. Because my hope for Empower Connections is pretty simple. I want this to feel less like you're listening to a podcast and more like you and I are sitting across the table from each other, having one of those conversations that somehow starts in one place, scrolls off in like five different directions, and eventually, hopefully we land that plane together. Because if you've ever sat down at a table with me or talked to me on the phone, that's kind of how I roll. I don't know. I can't help it, it's just the way it is. Um anyway, so grab your beverage, let's sit down and chat, my friend. Today's conversation is definitely one I wish someone had with me. Actually, there's several conversations I wish someone had had with me, but I guess that's part of our journey, right? Um today's pretty significant day in my life. Nine years ago today, I heard the words that changed my life forever. You have breast cancer. And you know how there's like certain dates in your life that like you never ever forget, like you know exactly where you were, what you were wearing, who you were with, like all of the details, but yet you can't remember why you walked into the freaking other room, or where you left your phone, or your readers, or any of that shit. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hello, here I am. Anyway, you know, those are like the birthdays, the anniversaries, the days your children are born, when you got your new puppy. Um, all those fun things. And then there's the dates that like literally divide your life into like I don't know, a before and after, if that's if that's a good analogy. I like to put it that way because I don't want to be like, oh, pre-cancer, like my life before cancer, or like whatever, but like it literally is a dividing date, right? Whether you're diagnosed with something, you have an injury, something life-altering, maybe someone you love passes away. Anyway, those are the days that I don't know, define me in the sense of like before and after a specific important incident in life. Well, July 13th is one of those dates for me, and I feel like the 13th is like so significant on honest to god, everything that's happened in my life since that diagnosis. It's absolutely crazy. Excuse me. But what's interesting is that I woke up today and I wasn't necessarily sad. I don't know, it's a weird day because I usually like to celebrate it with my loved ones, but there's also a part of me that just likes to be by myself, or at least for a part of the day by myself. I know. Like, are you guys like that? I don't know. The older I get, I feel like I'm definitely a little bit more introverted, extrovert, if you will. I definitely like to go to the beach. I like to spend some time with myself at the beach, just like staring out into the ocean, doing my gratitudes, praying, um, all the things. But uh anyway, yeah, so I didn't wake up sad today. I was actually, you know, per usual. I I get a little reflective. I do that each year. Like I reflect back on, you know, where have I come in the year since my diagnosis? You know, who have I helped? What have I done? Um I don't know. Because I I I guess in the nine years I can look back and at the woman who heard those words and realize she had absolutely no idea where life was about to take her. And I truly didn't. I really did not. Like I literally who knows? I I remember being totally numb. Anyway, um, she, meaning me, definitely had no idea that one of the hardest chapters of her life would eventually lead her here. And here I am, talking with you at the table, in my living room, drinking your favorite beverage. So that's what I want to talk about today. Not just cancer, but like what happens when life changes? What happens when home doesn't really feel like home anymore? And I and I use that in such an analogy of just life in general, right? Like, are you home in yourself? Are you do you feel home in your own home? Like your brick and mortar, your condo, whatever that might be, is you know, do you feel home? And what it means to eventually find your way back to yourself, where you feel at home in your own body. Anyway, I want to take us back rewind, take us back a little nine years ago. Um, and on the day that it happened, it was kind of crazy. My brother flew into town. Um, I was in the gym at the time. I picked him up from the airport, and we were running to not running, we were actually in my car. I was driving. I remember exactly where I was. I was on military trail in Palm Beach Gardens, right in front of Trinity Church. Ironic, I know. But we were on the way to Michael's craft store because my brother's in town, because my dad's 75th, I guess it was, yeah, 75th birthday was the next day, July 14th. And it was so it was a pretty big milestone. So my brother flew in, and we were heading to Michael's to make like a really cool like scrapbook or you know, just like a fun thing, like a memorable for for memorable. What the hell is that word, Shannon? Like a memory for my dad, for his birthday. So anyway, we're driving down the street, and my phone rings. I'm Bluetooth, and it's the radiologist, which clearly I've never even like had a conversation with this guy. There's no relationship whatsoever, it's just very matter-of-fact, black and white. I'm basically picking up the phone, delivering a message. Good day. And he was like, hi, this is Dr. So-and-so, blah blah radiologist for blah blah blah. Well, I don't even remember what it was. And he was like, So we got your results back, and mind you, rewind, it was the Friday before that I had my biopsy done, which by the way was fun paying Friday, and there was nothing fun about that because it was the most painful frickin' thing is having a biopsy. Clearly not as painful as a double massectomy, but I digress. Um, yeah, and so he was like, Yeah, this is Dr. So-and-so, and so they told me it was gonna be about seven days. So the fact that this was a day early, I was kind of like, oh my god, like they're gonna tell me like the most amazing results, like not to worry, blah blah blah. Not the case. He was like, Yeah, this is Dr. So-and-so from blah blah blah radiology. We got your results back. Just wanted to let you know that you have brain cancer or brain cancer, shit, that's horrible. I do not have brain cancer. Rewind, do you not have brain cancer? You have breast cancer. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? He's like, You have breast cancer. He's like, So you probably want to give your doctor a call and you know, figure out your next steps from here and you know, figure out what your neck your next path is. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And he was like, Yeah, and he was like, so he starts to run over the diagnosis. Meanwhile, my brother's sitting in the passenger seat, and he's looking at me, and I'm looking at him, and I'm like, what the fuck? And he was like, you know, trying to get a my brother's trying to get like a piece of paper and pen, like to write it down, and he starts like mentioning like all this like medical jargon kind of stuff. And we couldn't figure it out. I was like, okay, I'll just call my doctor, whatever. And so this was a Thursday, and I hang up the phone, and my brother's like, so that's how they tell you that you have cancer in Florida? I was like, dude, I don't know. I'm new to this. Hello, I'm new to this program. I did not sign up for it, and clearly I would like to unsubscribe currently, right now. And I was just like, like, numb. Honestly, I was like, there's no way. Like, is he sure? There's no way. Like, we have no breast cancer in my family. Like, unreal. So I'm like, okay, stay forward, stay the course Shannon, stay your lane. We have to get to Michael's, we have to get the crafts, blah blah blah. And no sooner are we pulling into the parking lot and my doctor calls me to tell me. And I was like, yeah, well, Dr. So-and-so already beat you to it. And um, he's like, Yes, it's you know, it's true. He's like, so we need to get you in here, we need to figure out what our next steps are. I need to get you set up with a general surgeon, uh, radiologist, oncologist. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Like, I'm thinking, okay, like what? Like, how what are we talking here? Like, what is about to happen? Like, I don't know. To hear the words is one thing, and then like to know that you're about to go through like this whole freaking like let's prepare you for like all the things chemo, radiation, amputation of your breast, like blah blah blah blah blah. And I was like, Oh oh oh my god, like I'm just I just want to go celebrate my dad's 75th birthday. Can we pause this for a second? Like, I don't know. So I I would I didn't really have time to be scared at that point because I think I was just really trying to honestly just be in disbelief and pretend it wasn't real because clearly if I just like forgot about it, it would go away, right? Anybody else feel like that? If I just forget about it, it'll go away. Um anyway, so with that being said, like I kind of I have a little problem with the medical industry for many reasons, mind you, but like their bedside manner is atrocious, like atrocious. Really? Like you're calling somebody over the phone. No, mind you, if you also if you call me and you tell me I need to schedule an appointment for you to come in and go over your results, I'm like, oh hell no, just give them to me right now. So honestly, there's probably a no-win situation for me on that, but I literally was like, I mean, couldn't we possibly have like a different way to deliver this message? Or maybe it's not the radiologist that calls you, maybe it's really the doctor that you have a relationship that calls you. Like, I don't know, don't you feel like that's a little bit better? I do personally, but anyway, I do remember like I don't remember really being scared per se, just because I was trying to think about my dad's birthday. Um, and honestly, after that, I don't even remember what happened. I don't know. I can't remember if I went home and told my husband at the time. I can't remember, I don't remember who I told. Honestly, I don't I I don't like that part, I definitely can say I blanked out. I probably would have to go back to my busting out of breast cancer podcast, which by the way, if you haven't listened to that and you know somebody going through breast cancer, or you yourself are, not gonna lie. It's my first podcast, and I and I basically documented my journey, all of it, and interviewed some doctors and other other breast cancer thrivers, all that. Anyway, it's on it's on the uh the interwebs, the Spotifies, the all the things busting out of breast cancer. Anyway, I probably have to go back and see what I did because all I remember at that point is all right, let's get to the west coast of Florida, let's set up my dad's birthday, let's surprise him. I definitely didn't discuss it the whole time. Again, probably still in denial. Um, and then from there, I guess I went into my doctor's office after that. Yeah, it's all kind of a blur now that I look back, kind of like reflecting on the nine years, it's like, well, wait, what? And now I think, well, I know if I can't remember walking into a room, how am I supposed to remember that conversation? But it was pretty significant, so I probably should. But anyway, um, I don't know. I just think that when you hear the words you have breast cancer, the world keeps moving around you, but for a moment, like your world completely stops. And mine did for the moment, right there on military trail in front of the Trinity Church with my brother in the car. And now I just realize that honestly, I'm about to learn a whole new language that I never wanted to learn. Whole new dialogue, slangs, terms, you name it. You know, like, okay, let's get prepared. We're gonna start talking about surgeries and treatment plans and doctors and pathology and decisions that honestly I never imagined I'd have to make in my life. Not for me, not for my loved ones, anyone. And I guess everyone just stays focused on just trying to get through it, which of course they should, which is what I did. Um, and that's all you can do, right? Focus on the things that you can control, your emotions, your thoughts, your mindset, and you know, try to make the best decisions for yourself. But there's another part of that story that I don't think we talk about enough, and that's what happens when you go home. And again, I like I said, I don't remember what it felt like to go home. I do remember that my marriage was not in like the most spectacular place, and uh, so it's not like I was super excited to go home and give this news because I didn't really feel like I was gonna have the support that I wanted. Um, but there's what comes home after you have surgery, right? Like what comes home after you go through treatment, or what comes home while you're going through treatment, and all of that, and that's when really home suddenly starts to feel a little bit different, and at least it did for me. And if you kind of sit back and you look at some of life's changes in your world, like does your home suddenly feel a little bit different if there's a change in your home, a diagnosis, a surgery, a death, a birth, empty nester, all of those things, like it starts to like I don't know, like something that literally hit me on my reflection time during my reflection was that I was thinking about for this episode is everyone prepares you for surgery, your treatments, all of that, or at least they try to, you know, your friends, whatever, like they try to do the the best they can because they don't know, right? There's a lot of people that don't really know how to handle somebody going through a diagnosis because it's hard, right? Somebody's that you love is looking at you and they know that you're hurting and you're scared, and sometimes they just don't know the right words. I have a solution for that, by the way, and stay tuned because I will make sure I let you know when it's ready. Um, anyway, so like everyone prepares you for surgery, or at least they try to, and you're told like what to expect medically. You prepare for the hospital, just like when you're given birth, you pack your little bag. Um you learn like about your recovery, but nobody can completely prepare you for like what happens when you walk back through your own front door and realize that suddenly your home feels different. It feels totally different because I also created a little booklet, um, like an ebook for people that when they are diagnosed, like for questions to ask their doctors, things to prepare for in the hospital, things to prepare for um when you come home. Because again, nobody had this conversation with me. Nobody, not my doctors, no friends. I didn't have any friends that went through this. Um, but home felt definitely different. Like after double mastectomy, you can't just go back to your normal life. Even to this day, I'm not back to a normal life, whatever normal means. I mean, everyone has their own little definition, right? Um, I don't know. It's just it's kind of hard to describe, and uh I don't know, it's just weird because like I would look at things like normally I'm like, I got it, I got it, I got it. Like, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. And I couldn't, I couldn't lift my arms. I had a T-Rex arms. Not everybody has T-Rex arms. I had T-Rex arms, so you can't lift your head up, you can't lift your arms up over your head, so I couldn't reach up in the cabinet, I couldn't pull things down, I couldn't lift things up, I couldn't wash my hair. Um, I don't know, and that's like your home, like your safe space, right? Um, I don't know, it's just weird to know that like I could sit in my recliner and I'd look in the kitchen and I'm like, damn it, I just want to like go over there, I just want to grab that. And I can't. I couldn't like reach for things the way I normally did. I couldn't lift the things, and the simplest everyday movements that like you don't even think about. They're not even like a thought in your head, but like all of a sudden they become difficult. And for me, it was just like okay, rest, rest, rest, rest, rest. That's all I had to do. I had to rest. That's what I knew. My main mission was to rest, get my body to recover because rest is where your body heals. And I also knew that I had to get up and walk, whether that was walking to the front door, walking to the mailbox a few times a day, just because you gotta get the blood circulating, and you know, being that I have you know a fitness background as well. Um, I just I knew how important that was. And excuse me. So that was super frustrating, and then like being able to walk was super challenging, which you wouldn't think, but like you don't think about like all your abdominal muscles that um you use to get up, to get out of a chair, to get out of bed. Like I created a video for that, and um, I don't know, there's just a lot of surprises, a lot of frustration. There was no way in hell that I was going days without taking a shower. I was like, oh hell no. So I got super like resourceful because that's how I rolled, and I put a black trash bag over my head, and I put my my arms through the trash bag, and I basically gave a whole new definition to bag lady. I know that was funny. Um gave a whole new definition to bag lady, but uh it covered my drains, my incisions, all the things. But I was like, I just have to get in and like get soap and water on my body, and like my dad's wife would wash my hair, and oh actually, did she wash my hair? No, I think I went to the Solana, my girlfriend washed my hair just because I was like, this is gross. Um anyway, so like all like the littlest things that you don't realize that you need help with, and like that's your home or like your safe space, like I said, you know what I mean? Um, and having to depend on other people was like super deper awkward for me. Um, but I did, and I learned a lot from myself during that. I learned a lot that it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to rely on other people when you are in a really shitty spot or whatever that shitty spot might be. Um, it's okay because we're here for one another, right? At least we're supposed to be here for one another, I feel like. Um yeah, so that was really big for me because I've always been the one to be like, and I I guess with that being said, I think about how I've always lived in fight or flight mode. Like, if I don't do it, it's not gonna get done, it's not gonna get done right, and like I just assume have it get done, so I might as well do it myself, right? Do it myself, or it's not gonna get done. I know it's absurd, but I know I'm not the only one out there. I know for sure I'm not the only one out there. But um, anyway, it's just funny how we don't really think about the mechanics of living in our own homes until our bodies suddenly can't do the things we've always done. I'm not gonna lie, I was not upset that I couldn't vacuum room off the floor. Certainly was not upset about not being able to clean, I can promise you that. But it was super frustrating and discouraging and disgusting to know that my husband at the time was not interested in helping out with the cleaning, and my friends would come over and help with the cleaning, which is really fucked up. Yeah, I said it. It's pretty fucked up. I have to be careful what I say right now because I could go down a rabbit hole. But, you know, like that squirrel, brrp, like I talked about earlier, like we're gonna squirrel up four or five times. Yeah, that's me. Um my goodness. I also, you know what else I couldn't do? I couldn't open like a freaking jar. Like, how weird is that? Like, I don't know. Think about all these things I'm talking about, like reaching into your cabinet, being able to like swoop your floor, vacuum your floor, or mop your floor. I mean, no one really wants to think about that, but like wiping down the cabinets, washing your hair, getting dressed, like just literally bending over and picking something up. Like sleeping for God's sake, like I can only sleep on my back now, which is fine, because then I don't get wrinkles in my chest and all that aging shit that happens along with that. So I'm okay with that. Like the things you do a hundred times a day without even thinking about them suddenly require like thought or help, and I was like, ugh! And for me there was nothing there was like nothing more frustrating to realize like all of that was happening at the same time while I was recovering in my own home. But I was also realizing how alone I felt in that. Like, have you ever felt alone in your own home? Like, really felt alone in your own home. Like your home is supposed to be, like I said, your safe space. Like, that's your home. It's not just a house, it's your home. And like for me, I was like, I don't know. We had a two-story home, and going up the stairs was a pain in the ass. Because again, you're using your abdominal muscles, hip flexors, like muscles you don't think the whole kinetic chain like have to do with one another, and you're weak on top of it, right? But you don't want to lay in bed all day because that's not good either. So there's that. Um, it's probably one of like the more vulnerable things for me to talk about because when I look back now, I realize that my cancer journey showed me things about my life that I wasn't necessarily ready to see. And I just kind of talked about some of them already, you know, like realizing that my husband at the time wasn't supportive, didn't take care of me. My dad and his wife were the ones who really stepped in to take care of me during my recovery, and I'll always, always be grateful for that. But there was also the realization that like the person I expected to be there for me wasn't caring for me in the way that I needed. Like, that's fucked up. And that's a really, really lonely feeling. But I guess it took that for me to realize where I was. So that goes back nine years ago, and I stayed in that for plenty of reasons that we will discuss in other episodes. Um but yeah, it's a really lonely feeling. And like to be surrounded by the walls of your own home and still feel alone. Ugh! Awful. Awful. And I thought I was super independent then, but man. Then I become independent and put some walls up and realize that like this is not what I had planned, and I I hope to God God did not have this plan for me because I don't know. That's that's it's not for anybody. Not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. So if you're stuck in that situation, I feel you, girl. I feel you. Reach out, I'm here for you. Like, I never want anyone to go through that. Ever. Especially not alone. So I learned that asking for help is okay. I felt like that made me grow up a little bit. Um, I realized that cancer definitely exposed some cracks in my life for sure. Um, I learned that it's okay for people to show up for you, that you really realize who your people are in your tribe, in your world. And who aren't. And I also realized that I never had to explain or defend anyone else's behavior. I just needed to keep centered on my own experience because my experience is my experience. It doesn't mean it's yours or it's going to be yours or it has been yours. It's just, I don't know. That was mine. And I share that because I know I'm not freaking alone because I've talked to many other women and many other thrivers that have been like, yeah, same. Like I have the same home situation. It sucks. Like I don't know what to do. Right now I'm just trying to fight for my life. Um and yeah, so my main message is you're not alone. You are not alone. And that's why I started the Bust and Breast Cancer Podcast. That's why I started the Empowered Connections podcast in my group. And just really want to like fulfill my purpose and mission in life of just to help other women navigate their next chapters and their journeys. Because we we're not meant to do this alone. We're not meant to do life alone. We're not meant to do hard things alone. Um, sometimes we are, you know, there's some things where you're just like, I gotta figure this out, but you know, something else I realized nine years ago, or nine years later, I should say, because as I sat reflecting over the last nine years, home isn't just where your things are. It's not an address. Home isn't just an address, like, oh, I'm at blah blah blah. And home isn't four walls. Home is where you feel safe. Home is where you feel cared for. Home is where you feel seen. Home is where you know you don't have to carry everything by yourself. And sometimes one of the hardest things we experience is realizing that that place we're calling home doesn't feel like home anymore. Did not expect to cry, clearly. Clearly, I triggered some things in this, but um, excuse me when I get a glass of water. Anyway, when I sat down thinking about my nine-year cancer versory, um, I started thinking about getting back to this podcast because I was like, shit, I started these podcasts for a reason to help other people, to help other women. And I literally started this with like I think I had like five, six episodes, five, five episodes, I think. Four or five, five episodes, whatever. Um, and I was like, oh my god, I literally dropped the ball. I dropped the ball. And that's not fair to me and my goals and my mission and my purpose. It's not fair to the people out there that need to hear these messages and these conversations because you're not meant to be alone. So yeah, I started thinking about the podcast again, and somehow, and if you know me, you know this is exactly how my brain works, I ended up thinking about home. So stick with me here while I digress and scroll up for a hot second. Stick with me because I promise I'm eventually going to land this plane. I've been putting pressure on myself to get back to this podcast. Um, not because I don't love it, because I totally do, I totally love it. I love podcasting, I love I don't know. I just give me a microphone and I just want to help change the world. This podcast matters to me. But per usual, I over-analyze everything, over-complicate the things. Anyways, I get frustrated with myself. So I started thinking, okay, I have to figure out the content, and then I have to plug in the microphone, and then I have to record, and then I have to edit, and then I have to upload, and then I need show notes, and then I need social media content, and then suddenly this generally became like this love of my podcasting became another item on my to-do list, and I was like, oh, abort, abort, abort, and not interested, not interested in another task that's going to I don't know, just frustrate me. Cause I really just want to like literally, if I had a producer and I had all of those things, I'd be like, yeah, all day long. Let's just batch content, whatever, but then I'm like, okay, I gotta record, I gotta do the show notes, I gotta upload, I gotta edit, la la la la la. And I'm like, what if it's not perfect? Fuck it. That's what I just said. You heard me. I just said, fuck it. I put it in the fuck it bucket. Anyway, somewhere in all of the doing, I almost forgot why I started talking in the first place. Like, why I started sharing my story. And like I said, after my breast cancer journey, I created busting out of breast cancer because I had documented so much of what I went through and I wanted to share it. I wanted to help other people. You know, whether you were a caregiver, whether you were someone going through the journey yourself, whether you were a physician and you didn't realize that these are things that these are topics and conversations that are had with other thrivers. And I promise you, doctors, therapists out there, if you have this knowledge and you can have these conversations with your patients, you are like three steps ahead of the game. Anyway, I just I really wanted the next woman to know she wasn't alone through her journey, just like now. Like, I don't want you to feel like you're ever alone through this journey because there are so many conversations I wish someone had with me, so many things I wish I'd known, so many moments when I needed to hear someone say, girl, I've been there. Or like, I get you, I totally understand. You're not alone, and over time that mission evolved. Like, as my life evolved, right? We we all evolved, at least we that's what we're supposed to do. And eventually, that journey became Empower Connections. Doo-doo! Here we are. And at first I thought my story was about cancer, like standing on my story after cancer, not staying stuck in it, right? But nine years later, I realized cancer was just like one chapter. An incredibly significant chapter, mind you, but still, it was just one chapter, just like my divorce is another chapter. And since then, there have been many other chapters: marriage, divorce, motherhood, watching my daughter grow up, preparing to become an empty nester. This is sucks, by the way. Um, starting over financially, relationships, life, building businesses, ending businesses, businesses that fail. And I don't say fail in the sense in like a bad way, but just like I just realized that maybe it wasn't for me. Real estate, money, friendships, confidence, reinvention, figuring out who the hell I am in every new season life throws at me. Anyone else feel me? Anyone? Anyone? You with me? Raise your hand. Put your hand across the table. Let me let me grab your hand because you're not alone. And here's what I've realized. My mission was never just about cancer. Cancer is the chapter that taught me how important connection is. So, if you've ever heard me say before, stand on your story, don't stay stuck in it. I say that often. Stand on your story, don't stay stuck in it. Say it again. Stand on your story, don't stay stuck in it. And today I realize that, like, maybe I've been standing on my story in more ways than I even recognized. Every empowered connections event, every woman I've hugged, every conversation, every conversation that I've had, every time I've noticed someone standing alone and thought, come sit with us. Every time I'm reminded another woman that she's not alone, every time I've helped someone navigate a transition, every time I've opened a door, sometimes literally, as a realtor, and sometimes figuratively, somehow so much of it traces back to that woman nine years ago, the woman who heard, you have breast cancer. That woman, she had no idea. She had no idea what she was going to survive. She had no idea what she was going to lose. She had no idea what she was going to rebuild, and she definitely had no idea who she was going to become. So the realization that I didn't expect, and this is the realization that like hit me freaking hard today. Maybe so much of my journey has been about finding my way home. Finding my way home. Not just like to a physical home, but to myself. Cancer changed the relationship I had with my body in more ways than one, you have no idea. My recovery changed the way I saw my home and my relationships. Divorce changed what home looked like again. And my daughter leaving for college is about to change it all over again. And through every version of home, I've had to meet a new version of myself. And maybe you have too. Maybe you've looked around your life at some point and thought, how the hell did I get here? Like, who am I now? Where do I even belong? And what's next? And maybe coming home isn't about going backward. Maybe it's not about becoming the woman you used to be. Maybe coming home is about finally meeting the woman you've become. I need a water break. I wish I had wine. It's too early for one. And I think that's what I'm doing. Nine years later, I'm still coming home to myself. And this brings me to something else that I realized today. One thing that's always been true about me is that I will make room. If I see someone standing alone, I'm pulling them in. If there's another chair, I'm making space. And if there isn't another chair, well, we'll figure it out. Because that's what we do. Because I never want someone to feel like they have to go through something alone. Maybe that's cancer, maybe it's divorce, maybe it's becoming an empty nester. Maybe it's walking into an event where you don't know anyone. You know that feeling. Maybe it's moving to a new city. Done that plenty of times. Maybe it's starting over at 40, 50, 60. Maybe you just need someone to look at you and say, come sit with us. And I think that's what Empowered Connections is really about. It's what I want this podcast to be. It's what I want our community to be. It's what I want my events to feel like. And honestly, it's how I want people to feel when they're around me. When I'm showing them a home, when I'm selling them a home, when they've closed on their home. I want to be a part of that beautiful journey. So because I want you to feel that way around me, I just want you to feel welcome, seen, included, and at home. Because there will always, always be a seat at my table for you. So today, nine years after hearing the words you have breast cancer, I pressed record again. Perfectly imperfect. I'm done waiting until I have the perfect podcast schedule, the perfect recording, the perfect editing, the perfect words. Lord knows I'm not perfect, and apparently neither is this podcast, and that's okay. Because what matters is the conversation. Some weeks we're going to talk about reinvention, some weeks we'll talk about relationships, divorce, cancer, empty nesting, real estate, money, friendship. Starting over, confidence. Did I mention reinvention? Yeah, I did, because that's what we're going to talk about a lot. And sometimes we'll probably start talking about one thing and end up somewhere completely different because, hello! Have we met? I have a really I think I should name my squirrel in my head. Yeah, because that squirrel pops in very often in my conversations and in my head. But I promise we'll try to land the plane. We'll land it together. And other times I'm going to invite people to pull up a chair at Shannon's table. We'll grab coffee or encork the wine and have conversations I think women need to hear. Not interviews, just conversations, real ones. Because I don't want this podcast to feel like I'm talking at you. I want it to feel like we're sitting together. Maybe we don't have to be at the table. Maybe we can be on the couch. Maybe we can be sitting by the pool. But I want it to feel like we're just sitting together. Deal? Good. Okay, I promised we'd land this plane, so here's where I think we're landing today. Nine years ago, I thought my life was being completely turned upside down with that diagnosis, and in many ways it was. It totally was. I'm not gonna lie. I would never choose cancer, like who would? I would never romanticize it. Who would? And there are things that it took me from me. It took from me. And things it changed that I never asked for. But I can always look back today and recognize that some of what grew from that chapter changed the direction of my life. It taught me how much it matters when someone shows up. It taught me what loneliness can feel like, even in your own home. And it taught me that being surrounded by people doesn't always mean you feel supported. It taught me that people who pull up a chair beside you during the hardest moments are the people you never forget. And maybe maybe. Most importantly, it taught me that our hardest chapters don't have to become the place where our story ends. I'm sorry. It doesn't have to be the place where our story ends. Sometimes it's the place where we begin again. So here's the question I want to leave you with today. In between my tears and sobbing, and I totally apologize, but I will always show up authentically me, like it or not. So what chapter of your life have you been looking at as the end? When maybe it's actually leading you somewhere you can't see it?

unknown 35:55

Imagine that.

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And maybe, just maybe, it's leading you home. Maybe it's leading you home. If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to invite you into our Power Connections Facebook community so we can sit at the table a little more, or the couch, where we can continue these conversations, remind each other that none of us has to navigate our next chapter alone. And if you're in a season where you're trying to figure out who the hell you are right now, you're not alone either. But I did create a free guide for you if you like. It's called Reintroducing Yourself to You. I'll put it in the show notes for you. I don't know. I thought it was pretty good. I did it with my Empowered Uh Connections group live in person, and it was it was it was really good. Um I don't know, so I just wanted to share it with you because again, I just want to help other people and help other women navigate their chapters. So think of it as one small step toward coming home to yourself. And that, my friends, is a wrap. I'm sorry. You know what? I'm not gonna apologize. I'm not gonna apologize. I am I'm just here real and raw having conversations with you. So I don't apologize for crying because these are authentic, genuine conversations, feelings, and emotions. So, anyway, thank you for spending time with me. Thank you for letting me share my story. Thank you for letting me come back. Perfectly imperfect. And wherever life finds you today, whether you're rebuilding, beginning again, or simply trying to remember who you are, I hope you know this. You're welcome here. There's always room for one more, and there will always be a seat at my table. So welcome home, my friend. Sending you big hugs and lots of love. Shannon.