Soul Vibe Insights

Stop Your Focus From Draining Your Energy

• Emily Pearl and Matty Hollingsworth • Episode 22

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In this podcast [episode 22] Emily and I are diving into whether or not your focus is draining your energy? What we focus on, we feed with our energy and create more of the same. Are you focusing on things that nourish your soul, that honor your uniqueness and ultimately energizes you toward your dreams and goals? 

We'll cover the 7 most common things that your focus is draining your energy. If you're resonating with any of these energetic draining focus points, don't worry we've all been there and sometimes still go there! Emily and I will be offering plenty of tips on how to flip the script and nourish your focus energy instead.

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Share your thoughts and experiences with how you maintain your focus energy on higher vibes with us or ask a question at vibin@soulvibeinsights.com

Loving Light,

Matty and Emily

Support the show

Matty:

Hey there, amazing souls, and welcome to today's show.

Emily:

Happy New Year!

Matty:

Happy, happy, happy New Year! It's 2025 as of today.

Emily:

Yeah, that is just insane for me to think about. It seems like so futuristic, back in like the 80s and 90s, thinking about 2025. Just seems so crazy.

Matty:

I don't think I was thinking that far ahead.

Emily:

When Back to the Future came out you were? I definitely was.

Matty:

Oh, okay, absolutely.

Emily:

I'm like, what? 2000? Oh my gosh!

Matty:

We're still waiting on a few of those things from that movie, aren't we?

Emily:

I don't know, I don't remember the movie.

Matty:

Technologies and things.

Emily:

Well, yeah, the flying cars.

Matty:

And hoverboards.

Emily:

I mean, they have things that they call hoverboards, but they're not as cool as in the movie.

Matty:

Yeah, that's true.

Emily:

Alright, so we're talking about focus energy, and here we are already not staying focused.

Matty:

That was a perfect little example for everybody. We're going to dive into ways that you might be wasting your focus energy. And I'm pretty much, the things we're gonna cover, I've been there on most of these and one of them still gets me occasionally, for sure. We all have this amazing capacity to handle a lot and to think about a lot and focus on a lot of things. But, we're not always nourishing ourselves with what we focus on. And we're giving away our energy and we're losing our energy. And sometimes, you know, just having a little distraction is perfectly fine and healthy and good for us.

Emily:

And necessary.

Matty:

Yes, absolutely. And it's necessary.

Emily:

But if you're constantly draining your energy because your focus is on, well, we have a list for you. And it always seems like we come up with seven things in our list. So it's like, as we're typing things out, Oh, seven again, must be our magic number. So shall we get started? Yeah, do we have a life update really quickly? We are still chillin in Fort Collins with our favorite puppy, Aspen. We had a pretty cool Christmas time this year.

Matty:

The best time in the last several years. I mean, we've been traveling for three and a half years now, so we haven't had a home base for Christmas. We busted out a tree and decorations. The homeowner showed us where things were and was just like, Go ham, have fun, do whatever you want with it. So we got tree and lights and all sorts of stuff up. Emily was really good about that. It was super cool fun.

Emily:

So we also met those reindeer, got to meet two reindeer. Holly and Savannah. They were super cute. It was just really cool being in their presence. And just they were the chillest reindeer. And it was really cool because the the man who was the reindeer's owners talked about how he just walked out into his field because he says he has 55 acres where he raises reindeer and zebras. Was there another animal?

Matty:

And they have two pet camels.

Emily:

Oh, yeah camels.

Matty:

We don't raise them. We just have two for pets.

Emily:

But you could tell that these reindeer were very loved, but he said that they just run around on their property. And he ran out and he said so who wants to go with me today and Holly and Savannah these two reindeer come running over to him and they're the ones that were there. So, it was pretty cool. It was really cool. They just had like the most, like, serene presence.

Matty:

It was like they knew how special and awesome they were. They just were cool with being themselves. They were cool with being gawked at and looked at by everybody that was around. And there's all that little kid energy, you know, freaking out for them and stuff. And then us and a few other just adults without kids around that are just like, asking questions of this guy, you know, who was there caretaker and just totally enjoying it. But they had this, I mean, serene, majestic kind of quality about them. It was, it was cool.

Emily:

And the man's daughter, she just sat in there with Savannah. She said that she bottle fed this reindeer since it was a week old and they were like the best of friends. Like she just sat there and this reindeer just like basically laid on her shoulder for the majority of time. It was so sweet.

Matty:

Yeah, that's right, she leaned up she leaned up against Savannah and then Savannah put her chin like on her shoulder.

Emily:

Yeah Okay So shall we get started?

Matty:

Let's jump in to ways you might be wasting your focus energy.

Emily:

Should I start with the first one?

Matty:

Yeah, let her rip, babe.

Emily:

All right, so the very first one is being overly focused and concentrating on what's wrong with me? Like constantly trying to find something wrong with you as an excuse for not accomplishing your goals or not being able to move forward or staying in stuckness. I feel like what's wrong with me, that's something I feel like we've all asked ourselves. I mean, this is a very crazy world we live in and the truth is, is the world is just kind of fucked up. But that is completely separate from anything being wrong with you. So I can imagine that there's nothing wrong with you. That you may be a little bit more sensitive than others. You may have different views on what is right, but I think that's part of what makes us very human. And I see this a lot with people that are very attached to their thoughts and emotions. If you overly attach to your thoughts, I mean, you're just gonna, everyone has streams of thoughts just coming through their mind at all time. But if you identify and attach to those thoughts, then chances are you're going to feel less than good about yourself because we all have fucked up thoughts. I mean, I think that's just part of being human. But I'm, but I also think with techniques such as meditation and mindfulness, I think with those techniques, you can help kind of keep like basically keep your thoughts from overrunning, like taking over the show, essentially.

Matty:

I definitely think the key is not to attach, to be the observer of your thoughts and of your emotions, but don't attach your identity to whatever happens to be spewing from your mind in that moment. That's just what's coming out of your mind. That's just your thoughts, it's not you. And the same goes when your thoughts are high vibes. That's not you, those are your thoughts. But the more you observe and when you're having high vibe thoughts, pat yourself on the back. That's right, you're in a good space. And if you're not, ask those questions. We've talked about this in pretty much every podcast we do. Bring awareness to yourself. Dig in a little bit. What's, hey, what's that all about? Why am I thinking about this? Why, why am I thinking about what's wrong with me? Why am I kicking myself while I'm down? What's going on with that? Where's that coming from? Be the observer. Don't attach to it. I think that's the the biggest thing right there is not attaching to these kinds of thoughts.

Emily:

Absolutely. And I do think this is very common with empaths and highly sensitive people, like anyone who has been told, "Oh, your emotions are making me feel uncomfortable" or anything like that. The thing is, is that there is nothing wrong with you. And a part of why we wanted to do this is we wanted to also offer a way to flip the script and not focus on the what's wrong with me energy.

Matty:

I'll guarantee there's nothing wrong with you. Every single one of us is a unique expression of the whole, of the creator's energy. And it takes all of us to try to get a well rounded picture of what creation looks like. All these different perspectives, all this different uniqueness that we are, it's beautiful. There's nothing wrong with us. Our thoughts might think there is, because we don't fit into the box society wants us to be in at all times.

Emily:

Yeah, but who wants to fit into that?

Matty:

I don't want to fit into that box.

Emily:

But I do know that it's very hard to live not wanting to fit into the box when there is the box to fit into. Oh, it is like this crazy conundrum that we all deal with. But we can find ways to, to live in this world and not have to fit in and agree with and mold to society's standards of what a good life looks like. There are a million ways to have a good life.

Matty:

There might even be eight billion ways to have a good life.

Emily:

Well, that's true because everyone can have their own unique expression of that.

Matty:

Absolutely. So tell me if I'm a person that gets stuck in the,"What's wrong with me? Or why did I do that?" How do I flip the script?

Emily:

So start by asking yourself, how do I honor my uniqueness that best suits my energy type, my aspirations, and my desires? So instead of trying to change yourself to fit into the box and fit into society, ask yourself, how can you start to honor these things? And of course, there are definitely laws and stuff you absolutely want to abide by, but how can you live outside of the box, but all, but it's about honoring your uniqueness.

Matty:

Beautiful. I love it. So take that focus and focus on how would I honor my own uniqueness, my energy type? I love it.

Emily:

Yeah.

Matty:

Cool. I can do that. I can flip the script.

Emily:

Can you do that?

Matty:

I can.

Emily:

I'd love to see that. Let's honor. Let's honor that beautiful energy, uniqueness of yours.

Matty:

Yeah. All right. We're going to move on to the number two, and this is the why of others. Why others did what they did. When you're racking your brain trying to understand the motivations of others without actually asking them or talking to them about it. In other words, you're overly speculating on the why of someone else when we can't really ever know the why of someone else. We can try to understand, we can analyze a situation, we can talk to them, ask them, why'd you do that? What makes you tick? But, you can't really, truly know why, unless you're them. And the same goes, no one can truly understand your why, even when you tell them. They still have their own perspective, and they're hearing the words you're telling them, through their perspective. You just can't fully, 100 percent know someone else's why. And this is one that runs deep for me. I have given so much time and energy to the why of others.

Emily:

Yes. So have I.

Matty:

Instead of just

Emily:

letting it be what it is.

Matty:

Oh my God. Yes. I mean it's one thing to analyze like, Hey, this happened. I feel like this about these events, but I've learned to not continue to keep losing time to like their why and to try to fully understand where they came from and why they did that. Because I understand now that I can't ever truly know their why.

Emily:

Yeah, I honestly feel like the work in the Akashic Records, working with Soul Energy has helped kind of reinforce how, how much we will absolutely never actually know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. There's just so many factors at play and it's just impossible to know exactly where someone else is coming from. If you even have one person in your life that you even think that, you know, you have that connection where you even have some sort of semblance of where they're coming from and they get you, then that is like a miracle.

Matty:

Thank you for being that person, honey, since you're bringing that up. I appreciate that I got you.

Emily:

It's my pleasure. So how do you flip the script on this? How do you stop focusing on other people's motivations and the why of others?

Matty:

Well, I think if you find yourself really ruminating about it and really speculating, then one of the first things you have to do is asking them about their motivations. Like give them a chance to tell you if this is really important to you, but you also got to know there's a line of that may be none of your business too. So you kind of got to read the situation. You know, it might be different with a really good friend or your life partner or your kids or something like that. But you know, for other people, you just, you kind of have to feel that out. And if all else fails, you got to let go of the desire to know. To just chalk it up, that not everything in this life can be known. Especially when it comes to someone else's why and their perspective and where they're coming from. So if you find yourself ruminating and speculating a lot on what other people are doing and why they're doing it and not how you feel about it or how it's affected you. I would try asking them or just, which is really the best for me has been getting to the point of letting go of the need to know.

Emily:

Yeah. Being okay with not knowing.

Matty:

There, that's a nice way to put that. Being okay with not knowing.

Emily:

So let's move on. So the third way that a focus energy can be drained is by basically getting really worked up and pissed off about things that you have no desire to help change. And It is important to note that you are only one person and therefore can only do so much in this world. And so we have to, as human beings, accept our limitations for what we can accomplish and what we cannot accomplish in this lifetime. And so if you are constantly just pissed off about politics or your boss and you're just constantly pissed off, you bring everyone into it, that's all you talk about. You're just constantly pissed. Then, you are definitely draining your focus energy away. So, a couple things you can do is you can either figure out, Hey, this is something that's very important to me. Obviously, I wouldn't be pissed off about it this much. And actually do something about it. But if you have already decided that you are not going to do something about it. You are not going to start running for some sort of office to help in politics. Or you're not going to quit your job then you are definitely draining your focus energy. You are definitely just spewing it out all over everyone else and you are not helping yourself at all.

Matty:

There's a, a bit of a conundrum here because you really are draining your focus energy. It is unempowering, but being mad feels empowering at times.

Emily:

Mm, that's true.

Matty:

I used to have that mixed up where I thought my, my righteous rage, my anger about something and how dumb this is and why can't people just see what blah blah, blah and I would just get into it. Like, I thought that that was powerful because I'm emoting out loud and I'm complaining and arrh, I didn't realize how much that used to drain me in when I was younger.

Emily:

Well, it is powerful because it does release all of these different things in your body. I mean, it releases adrenaline, it releases cortisol, it releases dopamine. All of these things feel good, and I say that in quotes, but you're really just keeping yourself, you know, down and in this crazy circle of pissed off edness.

Matty:

Which is losing your energy in the end.

Emily:

Exactly. And it's basically just keeping you in fight or flight and your body in this tense feeling at all times. And then you are unable to, I mean, it's basically an addiction, really. Because you do have all of those hormones pumping through your body. Those are hormones, right? Dopamine? No. Neurotransmitters?

Matty:

But adrenaline and cortisol are hormones.

Emily:

Okay.

Matty:

Or they're coming, yeah, coming from the adrenal glands.

Emily:

Yes, so you've got these hormones pumping through so you're feeling good. But you're not really feeling good because you're just keeping your body in this fight or flight and it keeps you from actually being able to relax and feel good. So, if you find yourself doing this, God only knows I've been there and I have definitely spent many many years trying to work on this. Really trying to find more stillness and peace within my own body, not keeping myself all riled up over things that I'm not willing to jump in and help change.

Matty:

Like tell your boss off and quit and go find a different job? Yeah. I mean, wow, that one got me. I would just stay mad and stay in that pattern and feel powerless to change it and not do anything about it. Yeah. That one in particular for me, big time.

Emily:

So the most obvious way to flip the script is to actually make a commitment and help change these things. But like I said, you're only one person, you can't change everything. You can only do so much as one person. So if it's something that you've decided that you are not going to take part in to actually be the change you want to see, then you can benefit from a huge perspective shift. So if it's, for example, like we talked about, you want to tell your boss off and you want to quit, but you know, you're not going to do that right now. I mean, you can start putting forward the motion. Start looking for something different. Start looking for a way to get out of that situation. But if that is not ideal for you, which there's so many reasons why it may not be the most ideal for you, then start trying to look for things to be grateful for. Start trying to focus on bettering your situation or yourself.

Matty:

Replace pissed off with gratitude.

Emily:

Yes or just a higher purpose. I have a good example of this, like when I was waiting tables, oh my God, I was just so fucking over it, like, for so long. But, I developed this plan, Matty and I got together and we developed this plan. Alright, we're gonna start saving up money, and we're gonna pay off our debt. Like, that was the plan. And so, even though I was, it like pissed me off to be at work, I was able to flip the script because I was so focused on getting myself out of debt. Starting to save money towards things that we really wanted to do. And just being able to flip that script, like, really helped me go to work and come home every single day. And then I tried to find more gratitude. Okay, well, at least I'm able to pay off my debt with this job. At least I'm able to save money. At least I'm able to go to this concert or like whatever it is for you that, you know, makes you a little happier. Makes you feel a little bit more grateful about your position, start there! And then you can work your way up to finding more gratitude and more gratitude, or a higher purpose for what you're doing. Because it could be a bridge to something different. And that's okay.

Matty:

That's totally cool.

Emily:

Yeah. But it's about finding that higher purpose and where you are now to get you to where you want to go.

Matty:

Sometimes the best way to get to where you want to go is a bridge or a couple of stepping stones. Yep. Absolutely. It's not always directly A to B. Sometimes it's A to D and there's a B and a C step in between. Totally. Yeah. That's a good point, babe. All right. So let's move on. We're going to go to number four, which is trying to help someone that doesn't want to be helped and isn't willing to help themselves. You're putting your focus or your energy into how someone else needs to change.

Emily:

Or putting all your energy into solving their problem when they're not putting any energy into it whatsoever.

Matty:

And I have been big time guilty of this. And it's my kindness, my big heart. I just wanted to help people.

Emily:

I mean, I think it does come from that place. It does come from a, you see someone suffering and you're like, Oh, they need help. So obviously I'm the one because I can see this in them, but they don't want it. Are they asking you for help? If they're not asking you for help, they don't want it. You can't force help on someone else. And it's just not really cool to expect someone like expect someone else to change just because you think that they need to change. People will only change if they want to change.

Matty:

Well, I think flipping the script in moments like this is asking yourself are they doing things to help themselves? And then, can I be a part of that? Do they want me to be a part of that? Are they even asking for help? One thing for me, and you kind of hit on this, but I had to learn like, Who am I to decide someone needs help? Was it just my big heart and kindness, or did somehow I think maybe I was in a better place and I could extend help when I'm in no better place or worse place than anyone else. We're all just in our place. We're in our process. We're in our growth and our learnings. We're in it. That was one for me that kind of helped flip the script was who am I to decide that they need help? I can offer it. They can ask for it, but that was, that was a tough one.

Emily:

I actually carry a lot of guilt and shame around this one because I do, I can see that someone else is suffering and I just want to be there and I want to help them. But they didn't ask for my help and they didn't want my help and so therefore it really causes tension with people. If you walk up to someone and you're like, Hey, you obviously need my help and then try to push your help on them. It is not a good place to be.

Matty:

I've pissed people off trying to be helpful because they didn't think they needed help in a situation. Yeah, absolutely.

Emily:

Yes, me too. And, and I feel bad about it because I see the higher perspective now and I see that I was trying to force help and change on them when that is not what they wanted for themselves. And that can be very frustrating, especially if you're with a partner who doesn't want to change. And you're like, but, but if you just did this, this, and this, then you could ease all this suffering in your life. But sadly, it's not your place. If someone wants to change, they will change. Unfortunately, that's the only way. I mean, I say for fortunately, and unfortunately, unfortunately, if you're someone else seeing someone suffer because you want to be able to do something to help them. But if someone wants to change, they will change, and that is the only way.

Matty:

They will put efforts in changing their own life, even if the effort is, and this is hard to do too, is to realize you need help. To actually, you know, get to that point and be like I'm in over my head. I need help here. I don't see the way out. I need my friends. I need my family. I need somebody in my life, you know, to, to help me here, to bounce some ideas off of, to get some new perspective. I need to ask for help. So just because from a place of integrity, from a place of love and kindness and your big heart, that you want to help somebody and you recognize it, that they need help, that you could be of assistance to them. It doesn't mean that that makes it right for them too. You're there and you're ready to help, but if they're not ready to accept and wanting it and to put in a little effort themselves, then not much is going to change. And it may actually create a worse situation for you. So if you're someone that is trying to help people that don't want help.

Emily:

Start focusing on yourself.

Matty:

Yeah. Focus on yourself.

Emily:

And tell them that you will be there for them if they need something, but you cannot force your help or you can't force someone to change. Take it from me, I've pissed a lot of people off. It's that channel of judgment that I've got. Human design.

Matty:

Yeah. Gate of Correction.

Emily:

Oh, Gate of Correction. Yeah. That's what it is. But it's the channel of I can't remember the full channel's name.

Matty:

This is one of those energy makeup things that Emily and I both have, and it just means you can usually see when something's off. And can lend assistance with a thought or an idea or, you know, an actual helping hand. But just because you can see it doesn't mean it's right for someone else or they're ready or they even want it.

Emily:

It is called the channel of judgment. 18-58.

Matty:

Yeah.

Emily:

All right. So moving on. I think we've very much reinforced that.

Matty:

Yeah. That was the other one for me in this list that I've been super guilty of. Not guilty, there's nothing wrong with wanting to help people, but just that I've been caught up and lost so much energy in.

Emily:

And trying to solve someone else's problems, but they don't want to solve it themselves.

Matty:

And ignoring issues with myself or even overly trying to help somebody to the point that I created problems for myself. Because I overgave on money or my time and then I wasn't doing what I needed to do for me or didn't have the funds to take care of something I needed. Like Emily said, we're going to move on to another one. And this is one, I think every single one of us have wrapped ourselves up in it sometime or another.

Emily:

Oh yeah.

Matty:

And that is focusing on things that don't really matter is one way to put it. Spending way too much time trying to decide on something that's a little bit more trivial like what show to watch on Netflix. What are we gonna eat for dinner tonight? What clothes am I gonna wear?

Emily:

Yeah

Matty:

These things matter in the sense that you gotta feed yourself.

Emily:

And you want to look good.

Matty:

Yeah, it's acceptable to wear clothes in society. I think most of society prefers that we do. You know, and a little Netflix and chill is, or whatever your little wind down time is, is good for us. But, not every decision has to be the perfect decision. This movie, this meal, this outfit's gonna make or break my life and I have definitely spent time on things like it would have. That is for sure in my life.

Emily:

Yeah. I don't even feel like there's too much more we really have to say on this one because I think we all know what we're talking about. I think that we all know that there are places where we maybe take longer to make decisions than, than we could. On the trivial things, if it's important and something really important, of course you want to take time. And of course you want to have your focus towards making that decision. But the trivial stuff, just try to decide a little faster.

Matty:

That would be the easiest thing, I think, to flip the script is to if you're literally getting down between a couple of things and ruminating on which one's the best, like, flip a coin. If you and your partner both want to watch something different, rock, paper, scissors for it. Find ways to just make these decisions and let it be okay, and then, you know what? You got your movie tonight, I get mine the next time. Try to make your decisions faster. Have fun with it if you can. Don't keep racking your brain and losing time to just things that are more trivial. I can't tell you what's trivial. I mean, we tried to come up with a few examples for you, but you know, what's trivial in your life and what's not.

Emily:

Yeah, for sure.

Matty:

Save your focus energy for the important things. For the things that matter, for the things that really light you up and nourish you and nourish your heart space. That's a better way to focus your energy and serve it for that.

Emily:

Moving on. So number six is ruminating about the past without any real desire to find the higher learning from it. So I do think it's very important when memories come up from your past, I think that it is important to review them. Maybe think about the situation, think about why it's coming up, but if it's just constant rumination over and over, why did they do this? Why did this happen? Why did this happen to me? There is a lot of victimhood mentality in that if you're constantly trying to Think about past situations over and over and over without ever trying to find any kind of higher learning for why this memory keeps popping up. Or what is so important about this situation. And it could be that this pattern keeps resurfacing in your life over and over and so therefore these past memories keep coming up and without any kind of higher learning or realization like, Oh, this is why this keeps coming up. This is why this memory keeps popping up is because I'm literally in the exact same situation that I was then. So this is really more about if you're not willing to look at any kind of higher learning, it's just constant rumination. And a lot of times there's a lot of blaming energy with this too, if you're not willing to see the higher learning from it.

Matty:

And it could be stuff like, my life was so good when.

Emily:

Oh, totally.

Matty:

It's not always, you know, negative things.

Emily:

It's not always about the blaming, yeah.

Matty:

It's just your nostalgia, you just keep longing for something in the past. It's basically keeping you out of the present. So you're constantly ruminating about the past, or maybe even the future. You're constantly thinking of things, but like Emily said, when it's literally stuff that have happened to you, there's a point behind it. It's not random that these memories keep popping up. And when we don't learn from things, and we don't grow from our life lessons, patterns repeat. But the players in the patterns change. Where you're at changes. You're a different person, so it can't be the exact same thing that happened to you, but the energy underneath it it will be the same. And this is what we're getting at on looking for those higher learnings.

Emily:

Yeah, but I really appreciate that point that you brought up because that wasn't something I was thinking about when I was making these notes. But yeah, if you're constantly like, Oh, high school, those were the good days or college. I'll never have good days like college again. I mean, if you're constantly just ruminating on that, then you're basically keeping yourself stuck from ever having a good time again. I mean, we all change, things change. You know, if you're in your 40s, like we are, you're not in your college age anymore. And I mean, thank God I'm not still doing the things that I did in college. I mean, I feel like almost every part of my life, I can be like, yeah, there were some good parts, but there were also some really shitty parts too.

Matty:

Oh, you mean life was all the things? Yes. Life was ups and downs, right? Exactly.

Emily:

So, it is interesting when people are like, Oh, I miss those days. Those were the days. It's like, you know what? Create those days now. Create something to be proud of, create a wonderful time now.

Matty:

And the other thing I would offer, too, on flipping the script is not attaching to it. You know, if you're having those were the days. It keeps popping up. Don't attach to it, because if those were the days, then today can never be the day, and tomorrow surely can't be. So don't attach to it being in the past. Be like, hey, man, those days, those memories are awesome. That was a lot of fun. And then, how can you create more of that in your life now? In a way that suits your uniqueness and where your energy's at now. How can you make today the day? And if it is things that feels like a pattern that's repeating and you're having memories come up that are more challenging, then look for the connection. Don't attach to it. Oh, what's wrong with me? Here we go again. I'm thinking about this again. No. Why is this coming up? What is it about that that might be trying to show me something about my life right now? Find that awareness. Get that higher perspective. Because if you can get that aha and that learning, then you can start to take the power back. Then you can start to shift your present reality. And then you can overcome that challenge. You can nip that pattern in the bud. You can move into new patterns, new challenges. Because on the other side of this is growth. And then life up levels and gives you something new to experience.

Emily:

And I feel like that's a really good segue to the next one, because if you are living a life of growth, there will be times in your life where you realize that you've outgrown where you are, and it can turn into what we think is a big one. And our number seven on this list is complaining and bitching about life and circumstances. And, like Matty said, if you're, if you're in this life and you're on the growth plan like I feel like a lot of us are.

Matty:

We all are. Well, we all are. That's one of those universal laws of being here. We're all on the growth plan. We just don't all accept that we're on the growth plan and learn from our life's experiences. I mean shit. I used to read I didn't know about that notion, but I would have rejected it. I'm not here to grow, whatever. I'm here to just live life and experience and have fun.

Emily:

And for the listeners, we are, we are talking about growing up as in getting older, but we are talking more so being on the growth plan as like evolved. Like, I don't even know if evolution is the right word. It's just. Learning from your experiences and gaining that awareness.

Matty:

Changes you, you become a different person. You're growing.

Emily:

Yes. Growing as a person, becoming more wholesome.

Matty:

Yeah. More well rounded.

Emily:

As a synonym for growth.

Matty:

Yeah, I feel like, I mean, it's, it's evolving, but I feel like when you say the word evolve or evolution, people think of climbing a ladder. Each rung is I'm better. I'm better. I'm growing. I'm getting better. I'm climbing this ladder. I'm going to get to the top and reach the top and then there is no top to that ladder. But true soul growth is really just being in like the middle of a hamster ball that's clear and you're just moving. Growth is movement and learning from your experience. And as you move around, you realize like, Oh, actually, if I go in this direction, I flow easier. And then I got to turn here and then turn there and I keep moving. But you may have to backpedal. You may have to like, you know, climb back down that ladder. Heck, you may have to jump from that one to a different one. It's not this, I'm getting better and better and better. Yeah, there's no hierarchy. Growth isn't that way. There is no hierarchy. Exactly. Growth is just learning from your experience and however you take that in and it works for you, you've expanded your awareness and the reality of who you are, of what you can do, of what you can overcome, what you can achieve. That's growth.

Emily:

Totally. Expanded awareness. That's a good way to put it. So number seven, complaining and bitching about life circumstances. I mean, we all have been there, but the thing is, is that people get stuck in this. They get stuck complaining, they get stuck bitching, and they don't do anything about it. They just constantly bitch to everyone they know, they call people up, anyone who will listen, and emotionally just dump all over them. And I mean, I say them, but us. I mean, everyone, we all have been guilty of this. But this is something to be really conscientious of in your life if you find yourself in this moment, because you probably will. If you're on the growth plan, you will hit a point where you have outgrown where you are and it's time to move forward. So instead of sitting back and complaining and bitching about where you are. Or if you do start getting there, then realize, take notice. Okay, it's time to make changes.

Matty:

I feel like from my life's experiences, and I do think this holds true, that often when we're complaining about things, I mean, there's third dimensional proof in my reality that something's fucked up, or this is just bullshit, or wrong. And there's something to like actually complain about, but it's attaching to it, and attaching to what's wrong in our life or attaching to, you know, what might seem chaotic and then constantly putting our focus there. And then, you know, what happens is we bitch.

Emily:

And you create more of things to bitch about.

Matty:

Exactly. What else? If you're at the point where your focus is on what's wrong and complaining and bitching about life and what's wrong, well your subconscious mind is going to create more wrong. More things for you to complain about. More chaos in your life. And what's really happening is you've probably gotten to a point where you've either grown to a point that you've outgrown your circumstances. Or you've deviated off of your growth plan so much that life is trying to course correct with you, for you. Life happens for us. It doesn't happen to us. So if you find that life seems really chaotic or that you're catching yourself like, whoa, I'm, I am, there is a lot to bitch about in my life and I am complaining a lot and I feel justified, but I am doing it a lot. So why is my life going like this? What could I, is there something I could change? Have I outgrown my circumstances? Is my boyfriend or girlfriend, is it, is it over? And is this job done for me? Do I need to move to a different city? What's going on? Like, there's a reason that life is like this. You've either outgrown it or you need a course correction. Like chaos is chaotic and crazy and kind of fucked up, but it's also the harbinger of change. And if you've got chaos in your life or things to complain and bitch about, flip the script. Start asking yourself why this is going on and what you could do about it and what is it trying to show you about your life. And we talked about this earlier, this is a really good point to take a breath and find anything you can be grateful for in your life and focus on what you can be grateful for. And less on what is chaotic or the things that you are actually complaining and bitching about, even if there's proof that they're right there and you feel justified. Nip, nip this energy in the bud and nourish yourself with some gratitude and then try to figure out why this chaos is happening. Because it's a signal. It's a big signal.

Emily:

Yeah. But I do think it's important just to mention that if you do find yourself complaining about your life and your circumstances, then moving into gratitude is not this like, all right, light switch where you just like flip it over. It's literally any time you catch yourself falling back into that complaining or that bitching mode, then that's when you remind yourself, Oh wait, just try to start finding things to be grateful for. It's a, it's a constant reminder and a constant practice. This isn't like something you just, Should be amazing at at first. At first go, oh goodness. It's like you literally, you literally like catch yourself in the moment and you're like, you know what? No, this is not how I want my life to be. It's okay to bring awareness to the fact that you're not exactly where you want to be in this moment, and that's okay, but just start trying to find anything to be grateful for. I'm grateful that I'm breathing. I'm grateful that I had a delicious meal today. I'm grateful that I drank lots of water. I'm grateful that I made time to read something that I love or journal about something important to me. Or I took a walk today in nature. I pet on my puppy. Like anything. And this is when, this is a constant reminder. This is where you start bringing more gratitude, more things to be grateful for in your life because you start focusing on those.

Matty:

And when you're not attaching to things, you get to observe what's happening in your mind, what's happening in your life. This is how you can catch, like Emily says, it's a constant reminder. You catch yourself in a mode of complaining and bitching about something and you nip it in the bud and you try to find anything to be grateful for. And, I mean, when I first started practicing this, I had to do that, like, all the time. Many, many times in a day. I would just be like, nope, stop, stop, stop it. Okay, I've eaten twice today, I'm really grateful that I was able to feed myself twice. Hey, I've, I've got a work shift coming up. I'm grateful I get to go in and have an opportunity to earn money and keep food in my fridge and a roof over my head. Whatever it was, I have a car. I've got clothes. I've got parents that I don't see often, but they love me. Hey, I've got my two best buddies in this town. I don't get to see them enough, but man, when we do, we share laughs, and I sure love them and they love me. Whatever you can find to be grateful for, small things, big things, any things. Flip that script. And I will say, too, life only sends what we can handle. We're challenged at the level of intensity with what we can handle. So if it feels like a lot in your life, like it's too much, like this is so much, like this is a lot, like you don't fucking understand it's a lot. Well, it's because you have that same level of intensity of potential within you. That's why life is throwing so much at you. That's why it feels like a lot because within you is the answer, is the energy to overcome, is the ability to observe with your mind, find new awareness, ask the right questions, put forth the dedication of your energetic resources and your focus on changing your life. On achieving that goal. And on the other side is growth and a higher perspective. I used to get myself down, like, I don't know if I can handle this, I don't know if I can handle this. Until I realized that, and I still get afraid of things, I still have my fears, I still am challenged by what life throws at me and what I need to do or what I want to do. But understand that if it's coming at you, you got this. You absolutely have got this. I'll get off my soapbox now.

Emily:

No, I think that's great. I think that wraps it up perfectly. And brings us to our challenge for the new year. This is definitely something that we are going to be doing as well. And it's something that we just wanted to throw out there as a challenge to you. You to take time and think about what are your, what is most important to you? What are your goals? What are your aspirations? And pick three or less than three, one, two, or three at the most, but try don't, don't pick a whole bunch of things because you don't want to scatter your focus. And so pick no more than three things. These can be big or small things to focus on that align with your goals and aspirations and your values, and that are very important for you. And so this is a three month challenge. And it's just to bring awareness to your life as to where you are putting your focus energy on. And to focus more energy on these things that you decide. And so, for an example we came up with a short list of our three things. And our first one is one that we have basically been thinking about and planning and, I mean, for years now. Which is teaching people how to access the Akashic records. And we really want to get a class up and running. We really want to start it soon. I mean, we couldn't really be more excited about this course.

Matty:

About offering other people the opportunity to access the Akashic Records and to mentor and guide them along their journey of connecting deeper with themselves.

Emily:

And create more magic in your life.

Matty:

Being able to find that divinity within, work with your Akashic Record guides on anything and everything that's coming up in your world, like.

Emily:

I mean this is a lifetime skill. This is a forever skill that once you learn you will have it forever.

Matty:

It's taken my intuition to incredible heights.

Emily:

Yes.

Matty:

And not only that, but my trust, which I think is one of the hardest things when people are really trying to get an intuitive space and be receptive and open is trusting. And being able to have methods in a way to access your own soul's record, to access exactly what you need on your path of growth, it's helped me tremendously. And I'm super excited to, here soon, be able to offer this mentorship and this guidance up to others. And this is like Emily said, something we've been having on the back burner. We work out a little bit here and there. And I remember even thinking like losing my focus to, when I feel like I've got enough experience, I can't wait to teach people. And instead of just realizing, Oh, I am that guy with enough experience to teach people. So it's been kind of cool to review today's podcast and realize like, Oh wow, this big goal of ours is actually something that has been in the plans and been worked on here and there. And I've actually lost a little focus here and there, dreaming about the future instead of just working on the present more and more.

Emily:

Yeah, so if this is something that sounds interesting to you, that you would like to know more information on, please get into our world, get on our mailing list. Like, we were definitely going to be sending out more information about this. And we're hoping to launch soon, hopefully at least the first go starting hopefully the beginning of February.

Matty:

Yeah, that's our aim.

Emily:

Yeah, February 1st. So if that sounds good to you, then please get into our world. We couldn't be more excited about this. And the other two things.

Matty:

That's a really good segue for number two on the list, which I know is really important. Something you've been gotten the works to, if you want to bring it up.

Emily:

Yes. And you know, it's a smaller goal as far as the first one goes but it is to start a monthly newsletter and we really want to just keep people informed about what's going on. Different things that we are offering and start doing a monthly channel.

Matty:

Channel channeling.

Emily:

Channeled message

Matty:

From the Akashic records.

Emily:

Yeah a monthly channeled message. So we're gonna start including this channeled message within our newsletter and have a bunch of some other goodies. So that is our second goal. And then our third goal, I feel like hopefully will be the easiest to accomplish.

Matty:

It better be the easiest to accomplish. I think this is podcast episode 22, if I'm not mistaken. So we've been doing this for a while. I feel like I have the workflow down, how we record, what we use, where I upload it, how I edit, the time it takes. Like I've gotten all this down into a pretty good flow. I feel, I feel good about it. But the one thing we haven't been great about, and I really want this, and I know you do too, is I want a set day for recording. I want this to be Thursday. Our show comes out on Wednesday. I want to record on Thursday. There's plenty of time to get all the editing done. It's not recording on the weekend, so if we want to go snowboarding on the weekend, we go snowboarding on the weekend. I'll edit on Monday because we've already recorded. But this also means that now I know, hey, we have to have our notes done on Wednesday for our recording on Thursday. So it really just helps organize things, but this is something I've been craving. And we're such feelers. I work great when I have a schedule and I know what I need to do, but I don't, I don't do great on making it. I'm just kind of like, yeah, we've got tomorrow. Let's do tomorrow. Or, you know, I'm feeling, yeah, I'm feeling the vibes today. Let's record today. So we really want to have a set schedule, get a little more organized. And this also allows us to be spontaneous with other things because I'm setting a schedule on the things that are important to me. Like how we've been transitioning into doing our HIIT training earlier in the day. So we're ready for spontaneity within our workday. We know what else we need to get done, but then we're already ready because we've taken care of our needs. So we set the days, we take care of the podcasting needs. It just allows for more spontaneity, which I'm looking forward to. So this should be the easiest of the three to take care of and we'll, we'll find out on Thursday.

Emily:

And so I feel like this could be a good place to end. If you decide to accept the challenge and start trying to bring more awareness into your life and more mindfulness to where you are focusing your energy, I think a good question that you can start asking yourself is, is what I am doing right now getting me closer or further from my goals? Or your aspirations or whatever it is. I know goals and aspirations are kind of similar, but goals can be much smaller. Aspirations are a little bit bigger. So is what I am doing right now, getting me closer or further from these goals?

Matty:

And just be honest with yourself. If it is, great. If it isn't, refocus your energy. Maybe that something is a little bit more trivial in your life and you could spend less focus on it and more on your goal. This is going to be a big question that's going to come up a lot for me and I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'm looking forward to hitting all of our goals and the excitement that awaits. Well, setting forth something and then accomplishing it. It's a good feeling.

Emily:

Check. Check. Check it off that to do list.

Matty:

Yep. Well, thank you so much for joining us today.

Emily:

Yes, we very much enjoyed making this podcast and we really hope that you will join us on this challenge.

Matty:

And if you have any questions about focus energy or things we're talking about, I always leave the email in every show's description. Hit us up. If you have something else that you want to mention. A different way that you realize that we didn't mention, because we just tried to pick common things and stuff we've gone through where we're losing our focus energy and where you might be too. It's all about bringing awareness and shifting perspectives. That's all we're trying to do. And if you want to bring some awareness our way, we're so down to hear your story and what's going on in your world and what your experience has been like too. Because each of us contributes to the whole and every one of us has valuable information, valuable experience, valuable perspective to add to it all.

Emily:

Indeed. Happy New Year!

Matty:

Happy New Year!

Emily:

Have a wonderful 2025.

Matty:

And we'll see you next week.

Emily:

Bye bye!