Scales Of Success Podcast

#11 - The Suck, the Struggle, and the Success: Marcus’s Journey with Kevin Palmieri

• Marcus Arredondo

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What if everything you’ve heard about success tells only half the story? In this special episode, producer and friend Kevin Palmieri flips the script, interviewing Marcus on perseverance, self-awareness, and leadership secrets. Together, they discuss personal growth, balancing emotion with logic, and building systems to stay on track. From finding your tribe to navigating life’s intensity, this episode offers fresh perspectives and actionable insights that will inspire you to redefine success.

Kevin Palmieri co-founded and co-hosts Next Level University, a top-rated self-improvement podcast. He shares actionable insights on mindset, fitness, and personal development, drawing from years of experience and a passion for helping others optimize their lives.

How to connect with Kevin Palmieri:
Website: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.comneverquitkid/
Email: kevin@nextleveluniverse.com 

Episode highlights:
(1:43) Marcus defines his life philosophy in one sentence
(3:25) Leadership through listening and emotional intelligence
(4:50) Balancing preparation and action, following your bliss
(9:35) Building connections and evolving perspectives
(17:01) Law of attraction and luck
(21:31) Meeting your hero
(25:55) What your younger self would think of you today
(31:11) Navigating success, endurance, communication style, and emotional intelligence
(35:06) Top three attributes for success
(38:35) Exploring influential books and self-improvement
(45:55) Kevin’s advice on podcast longevity and success
(52:54) Outro

Connect with Marcus


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Note: The transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.

Marcus Arredondo: 0:00

Yeah, doing hard things is embracing the suck. If I could teach any kid it's like hey, I know it sucks, it's never going to change. So you got to change your mindset about the suckiness. Find a way to derive joy from it, even if you know the workout half the time. I enjoy working out. Running is maybe a little bit different. I don't love running, but I love the feeling of finishing a run. That's my motivation to come back, but it's not at the beginning of the run. All right, for today's episode, I'm very excited and nervous because we're going to do something very different and I've asked my producer and friend, kevin Palmieri, to come on and effectively grill me on lessons learned, what I'm doing wrong, and to tell me what I'm missing if I'm not seeing it. So first, kevin, welcome, thank you for having me.

Kevin Palmieri: 0:56

I appreciate it. I told my wife before this. I said I have this producer episode I'm doing and I'm very nervous. So you and I are in the same boat, my friend. Well, why are you nervous? You intimidate me, man. Yeah, if I'm being very honest, you intimidate me. Nothing about you, it's not your. I just feel like you're intense in a good way and it's intimidating.

Marcus Arredondo: 1:15

You're not alone. I think a common phrase might be that I'm intense, but I certainly don't want to intimidate you, thanks for sharing that, of course. Well, don't want to intimidate you.

Kevin Palmieri: 1:25

Thanks for sharing that, of course. Well, I'm all yours, man, I'm ready to get into it. Okay, all right, so I wanted to start with a question, because one of the things that I was very intrigued by when you and I started working together was the fact that you were into philosophy.

Marcus Arredondo: 1:35

Yes.

Kevin Palmieri: 1:35

If you had to break down your life's philosophy into one sentence, what would it?

Marcus Arredondo: 1:42

be Perseverance in the pursuit of your objectives. So I think, loosely, that's how I define success, but entailed in that, I think, revolves around the work. I know you reference that quite a bit in your own episodes and in your own content, but it's about learning from your mistakes, and I think I probably felt too much growing up as a kid, and even some point in my adult life as well, where it prohibited me from actually gleaning the value from the lesson to move on. There was an emotional component, and so I think that philosophy really boils down to how can I be a better resource to myself and put my oxygen mask on first, so that I can be a better resource to first my family and then my friends and other people, including clients and investors and everybody.

Kevin Palmieri: 2:37

Do you feel like? Have you ever swung too far to the no feeling at all? All logic.

Marcus Arredondo: 2:43

Sure, sure, and I think I veered toward logic. I'm glad that you brought that up because I think a lot of people think philosophy is a bunch of people sort of just walking around talking about nonsense. But it's based in logic. Logic, the first class I ever took was logic and that's what drove me. It's mathematical in a lot of ways, but that was an antidote. I sought it out because I knew it was a medicine to me, for I think how much I probably processed feelings. I mean, I was in a household it's a South Texas Mexican family and everybody wore their heart on their sleeve and that's not always welcome in an intellectual setting or a professional setting certainly.

Kevin Palmieri: 3:21

How do you use that from a leadership perspective?

Marcus Arredondo: 3:25

Well, I think it's an ebb and flow and I appreciate you asking that because I think the show has helped me become a better listener. I've not been a very good listener and when I see leadership, I think the best leaders don't come off as a leader, they just are one right. They exercise the right actions, the right thoughts. They serve as a leader by what they do, not what they say. And to the extent that I can be a leader in that capacity, I certainly seek to be. But to the extent that somebody comes and seeks that out or asks questions, I think the first thing I go to is a Socratic method. It's like I can't provide you any advice that you can't provide yourself. I may be able to ask the right questions, but in listening I think one must be emotionally astute and read between the lines, which I'm still learning how to get better at.

Kevin Palmieri: 4:23

I've got a two-year-old. That's helped to stretch that muscle, do you? So I've seen a lot of. I would consider you a high performer. You're very successful. You do a lot of stuff. Which of these and I'm just shooting from the hip we're going to see where?

Marcus Arredondo: 4:37

we go.

Kevin Palmieri: 4:39

Which of these resonates with you, the most Ready? Aim fire, aim fire or fire, and then figure it out after which of those is Marcus in a nutshell?

Marcus Arredondo: 4:50

I'm ready, aim fire.

Marcus Arredondo: 4:51

I do a lot of research, I plan things out and my wife is a little bit more fire and figure things out, which has been a really and some of my partners have been more like that, and I think there's a balance because the paralysis analysis is a real thing. But I will say, as it relates to this podcast, I probably thought on it for too long, but it was the right timing. I'm glad that I didn't rush it, but what entailed me doing is really building out a system that prevented me from failing and I'm happy to share how I view this but by setting up systems that allowed me to continue to fulfill the objective that I was seeing no wiggle room, no way to get out. If I had fired and figured it out, I think it could have been overwhelming. So the idea that I built out the system to try and chip away at it in bite-sized pieces helped me quite a bit.

Kevin Palmieri: 5:38

What was the thing that got you off of the fence? Because this is a very common thing, sure, off of the fence? Because this is a very common thing. Sure, you paid us and then you ghosted me for like a year. Marcus, I have dozens of people who have done that yeah what? And they will not respond to my messages. They wish me Merry Christmas and then they ghost me again. What was the thing that got you?

Marcus Arredondo: 5:58

off the fence. Timing. It was timing and so, like that was a small system that I built intentionally. I knew if I paid you I was going to have to do something, I just didn't know when. So, and you know, the last year has been a really tough one. Uh, professionally in the real estate market with my son. There's other family stuff not dissimilar to anybody who's listening, or you. You know, we all have our own stuff.

Marcus Arredondo: 6:24

So I'm not trying to cry foul here, but I will say it threw me, and so I needed to build myself back up to the point where I could be an authentic self in a way that I felt that was true to me, which is I'm real but I am positive. I think I'm an optimistic person, but I try and investigate the negative components to make sure that I'm an optimistic person. But I try and investigate the negative components to make sure that I'm aware of them. It's a risks assessment, and so I think really what changed was I began doing a lot of writing and one thing I would give a message I'd give to anyone certainly myself, and I've done it throughout my life here and there, but I'm attempting to make it as consistent as sleeping a day, every day, is writing and people think like, well, what do you write about? Why are you writing? Because I sort of know my own thoughts.

Marcus Arredondo: 7:13

Well, when you write, you start to realize there are parts of your lines of thinking that need additional work, or something becomes illuminated and through that I realized and there's some other things.

Marcus Arredondo: 7:29

Like you know, I, tim Ferriss, suggested this six part documentary series called the Power of Myth with Joseph Campbell, which has changed my life and it's about, really you know, myth from a variety of perspectives different religions, different philosophies, eastern, western, native. You know all of these different types of religions and how these themes sort of intertwine. But one thing that kept surfacing was following your bliss, identifying, like you know, who you are, because if we're being successful as humans, we get better at being ourselves. Right, I mean, that is the truest mark of success is being true to yourself, and I always thought it would be identifying what that is. But in reality, what the writing allowed me to start realizing was pulling back what wasn't me, and that's almost easier I shouldn't say that it's simpler, but it's challenging to do and in that writing, to answer your question, which is long winded. Now, the short answer is I started realizing what voice was my own and which ones were not because of the writing, and once I started listening to myself, it was clear it was time. This was a calling.

Kevin Palmieri: 8:43

Did you have any voices that you had to let go of, that had become part of your identity, that were really hard, absolutely, absolutely.

Marcus Arredondo: 8:51

If not, let them go. You know, to use the Jim Collins analogy about seats on the bus, there were other voices driving the bus and so I need to put myself up there, but the first was to remove the people that were driving the bus, and so some of those people were kicked out, and some people still have value. They're just on a lower volume.

Kevin Palmieri: 9:11

How do you deal with that? How do you deal with so? I'm in the self-improvement space, right, that's our jam, and one of the hardest things that people go through is growing, outgrowing, growing in a different direction, whatever it is. People places things, I dots, ideas, feelings, all that. What's your relationship with? I'll label it outgrowing, but maybe realigning.

Marcus Arredondo: 9:35

How have you experienced that in your life, outgrowing or realigning with relation to other friends or people?

Kevin Palmieri: 9:39

yeah, people in general, I'd say yeah yeah, you know I've been.

Marcus Arredondo: 9:42

I've been fortunate that, like a core group of friends have been very supportive through this, and I think it really establishes who they are. So you start to identify when you come out with something like this, and I know it sounds ridiculous, but putting this out there for the first time was among the more nerve wracking things I've ever done, and looking back on it, I can see why, but I don't feel the same way I did before and I knew that. That's why I had to do it. Miles Davis has an autobiography, but he talks about when he box.

Marcus Arredondo: 10:14

A common theme among novice boxers is when a punch is being thrown, you pull back, which actually makes the punch worse.

Marcus Arredondo: 10:22

Instead, you're supposed to lean in, and when you lean in, you get the back of the head, and I see that in the same way as problems. And so it's actually been relatively easy, because when you realize there's only two types of people in the world and you can categorize it in a spectrum, but it is binary it's people that expand you, they give you energy, they give you power, they make you more interested, they care about you by. They may not like you, but they care about you by asking questions, by finding out more about you. And then there's everyone else. They can be zeros, but if you're a zero, you're a negative. They're going to slow you down and it's not an easy thing, but it's natural If you just start focusing. I didn't need to proactively remove anybody, it was sort of natural, as this has developed, to sort of just follow what makes sense to me and I'm finding new peoples of my tribe, which is the most joyful part of this.

Kevin Palmieri: 11:19

It is one of the. I mean, you're doing your own thing. You're essentially I think this is why it's so nerve wracking You're sharing, to a degree, your core values, your core beliefs and your core aspirations and you're saying, hey, if you're down for this, if you enjoy this, you'll love what I do. What's your number one core value? What's your number one core belief? And then what's your? I don't know if it can be a number one, but what are your core aspirations as a human?

Marcus Arredondo: 11:43

I don't know if it can be a number one. But what are your core aspirations as a human? My number one value, I think, is integrity. I think that comes with authenticity. I think it's weaving all of your actions into the same purpose and being truthful to that. A lack of hypocrisy in how you pursue things that's not to suggest you can't change. I would sort of move that into evolution. Lack of hypocrisy in how you pursue things that's not to suggest you can't change. I would sort of move that into evolution more than hypocrisy, but it's got to be thoughtful.

Marcus Arredondo: 12:22

My number one belief is that I have all the agency I need to do what I want. There's no one else to blame. The world comes down on you, it sucks, everybody's had it but you just stay at it and you do the work and over a number of years you start to realize like you still survive and you can still get through it. And my number one aspiration, I think, is to be the best human being I can be and to serve as many people as I can while serving myself as well. And that starts with my family, and I think I've probably. You know I give one an odd example that's always stuck with me years ago I did a uh, a triathlon, not an ironman, a triathlon, and so the last leg is the run, and it was a maybe.

Marcus Arredondo: 13:11

I want to say it was a four and a half mile run give or take. And I'm struggling and they mark the calf of each of the participants with their age and I was struggling and when I work out or when I run I get very into myself and I started losing energy. I started feeling bad and there was a 74-year-old man running who was paralyzed on one half, so he'd run with a gimp, just one arm pumping, and I ran with him for I don't know half a mile, just sort of pumping him up, and he just gave me so much energy, not because of him but because I connected with him and it taught me something that, like you know, you're so much better when you start to connect with people and build something together, even that moment. You know he may not even remember me, but that has changed. I never run with my face down anymore. It gave me a different perspective about getting out there, and so I think that's my number one aspiration is to try and serve however I can, whatever that is however I can.

Kevin Palmieri: 14:25

Whatever that is, I have to consult my notes to this because I'm going to connect something you just said to something else. So you just mentioned perspective and you did a post on LinkedIn about. The point of the podcast was to create thought-provoking content that shifts perspective and it creates the opportunity to that. What's the difference between something that shifts perspective and something that doesn't? Is it the person? Is it the relationship with the thing? There might be a lot of people that would have that experience. That would take nothing away.

Marcus Arredondo: 14:53

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri: 14:54

What do you think shifts the most perspective in human?

Marcus Arredondo: 14:56

Well, I think you have to be open. I open to being wrong, specifically, you know to be encountered. But I also think there's an X factor which is about timing right, like sometimes they hit you at the right time. I've read books before that I thought were terrible and I read them 10 years later and it was terrific. I mean an example. And also, it's not necessarily something unheard of before that strikes you different. It's not necessarily something new, it's just framed in a way that connects with you. You different. It's not necessarily something new, it's just framed in a way that connects with you. And I'll give you an example of a power of now.

Marcus Arredondo: 15:30

Eckhart Tolle I think a lot of people would roll their eyes at and I read it at a time this last year at a time where it seemed very actionable to me. It was like it was just a route right into how I was viewing the world and how I could persevere with headwinds. Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson is Buddhism repurposed, but it's terrific. And a lot of people say it's a throwaway read, but there's real brilliance in there. So I think I would just say the openness to being wrong and the openness to timing, I guess.

Kevin Palmieri: 16:03

How has your relationship with being wrong evolved as you've evolved as a human?

Marcus Arredondo: 16:11

Have you seen the competence triangle where it starts at the bottom and it's oh?

Kevin Palmieri: 16:18

yeah, yeah yeah, it's. Unconscious incompetence.

Marcus Arredondo: 16:21

Unconscious incompetence. Yeah, you don't know that you're incompetent, and then you know what you're incompetent about. So my point being sort of the more you know, the more you realize what you don't know. So I think I've grown. I never liked being wrong, especially in my 20s, a little bit less so in my 30s. I don't love being wrong now, but I'm a lot more open to it.

Kevin Palmieri: 16:47

So you spoke a little bit about belief and that type of stuff. What is your take on the law of attraction and how has that shifted throughout your life?

Marcus Arredondo: 17:01

So I was recently having a conversation with a group to join their mastermind, and a big common theme is having like-minded people and people that enjoy being around each other, and I think all of that's true, but I think you need to be aware of that how that attraction takes place, because we're all attracted to shiny things. I had a friend that I would see every quarter was literally the funniest human being I'd ever seen, I'd ever met, and I'd walk out of there and I'd be like I know nothing about that guy. So it was so much fun to hang out with him, but I didn't grow except my humor muscle. So I guess the reason I bring that up is because, as it relates to productivity improvement and all that sort of stuff, I think it's really important that you find people that are going to challenge you, and especially in today's world where the algorithm takes over.

Marcus Arredondo: 17:58

There's so much about AI I'm hoping to a panel, uh, in 2025 to talk a little bit about this but there's so much about ai. That's so riveting and so beneficial, but I'm really my number one concern about that is that we become even more siloed than we are if you follow a certain train of people within politics on x. Yeah, that's all you're going to see and I think we got to be really careful about. Sometimes you got to take your medicine and that medicine entails differing opinions and they said what's your take on it?

Kevin Palmieri: 18:43

And I said I very much appreciate it and I think it's something to be utilized. But I don't think you should give away your accomplishments to the fact that it was the law of attraction, because then I think it negates all the hard work. Did the law of attraction help me get where I am? Yeah, in some way, shape or form, but it was also the fact that I've worked every day for the last eight years to get here. So that's why I asked, because I think it's really easy, especially with somebody who struggles with self-belief, to say well, it's the law of attraction, I manifested this. I want to make sure you give yourself credit too. That's why I asked. I'm always curious.

Marcus Arredondo: 19:13

Well, so that's a little bit. I see that as a little bit distinct but related, because I think in some ways that could be synonymous with luck, right, and everybody gets lucky, but it's sort of a played out phrase. But you know, the more you box out, the more lucky rebounds you get. It's pretty simple, right, and you can't get lucky from behind closed doors. You have to get out there and bump bodies and see what shakes free, because it's not lightning, doesn't strike you if you're buried in a hole, yeah I can try, but I don't know, I don't know who's gonna get through.

Kevin Palmieri: 19:56

I think that's really sound advice, what is the best and you can keep it. Best and worst piece of advice you've ever gotten.

Marcus Arredondo: 20:04

When I was young, my dad always said follow your compass. And I never, you know. It was one of those things you roll your eyes at and I've never stopped thinking about that. In fact, the older I get, the more I think about it, and that goes to following your bliss and that type of thing Worst advice. I'd have to really think about it, because I try to throw out as much bad advice as I can.

Kevin Palmieri: 20:28

Yeah, understandable, understandable. Is there anything close to the top you can remember? I?

Marcus Arredondo: 20:35

don't think it's a specific piece of advice, but something I've become increasingly comfortable about. But I think there's an old school thought that you can only do one thing you are your profession, you can only be this. And if you look at the greats if you look, you know I refer to the Stoics is who I'm sort of thinking about. But these are people who were industrious, they were enterprising entrepreneurs, they were warriors, they were philosophers, they were wrestlers. They had full active lives with no technology and still remained engaged and pursued the art of living. So throw that shit out, man. You can be whoever you want to be and you can be multi-hyphenated. I think it's become more acceptable in today's world than it used to be.

Marcus Arredondo: 21:28

Yeah, but be interesting I dig, that do you have uh, well, I'm goal you know, heroes coming in a large swath and I think is a cop-out to some degree to give it this, because I think about my grandfather who was orphaned. He came from mexico, he ended up getting finding his way. He served in the military for some time. He was just really loyal to his family. He kept providing. Even now that he's deceased he still, you know, he, provided for my grandmother after he was long gone and he didn't have much, you know know he didn't hardly had any pennies to rub together, but he always did was right, he. He gave up drinking not to suggest that that was right, but it was an issue and so he stopped. He gave up smoking.

Marcus Arredondo: 22:34

I think there are other heroes that are probably in brighter lights that I could think of, but its core it's about serving your true self and what matters most. Serving your family is the best thing you can ever do. I have a new perspective as a dad. It's different. Serving to your parents, that's one thing, but when you serve as a parent, it gives a new meaning, it's a different thing.

Kevin Palmieri: 23:02

What is the new meaning, as somebody who doesn't have children and most likely never will explain to me?

Marcus Arredondo: 23:07

That could be a whole separate podcast.

Kevin Palmieri: 23:09

That would last about six hours. I'm sure it will be at some point.

Marcus Arredondo: 23:14

But one thing about something I didn't expect about being a father. The one thing I'll say is it's taught me to learn how to learn better, because I see my son going through frustrations. Again, he's two, so I've I've experienced very little as it relates to being a parent. I'm only, you know, 26 months in. That being said, seeing his frustrations, seeing how he works through things, has forced me to reevaluate how I'm working through things, because if I'm going to teach him anything, I need to have mastered it myself.

Marcus Arredondo: 23:44

And an earmark of mastery is being able to teach it. And when you try and teach it unsuccessfully, you realize you have not mastered it, which was a large part of actually starting this podcast. But you have a duty. You see this helpless creature and then it becomes a unit and that part of serving that unit. And then you sort of serve the unit and it's his cousin and it's my brother and sister-in-law, and you know new uncles and aunts and you know all of this other family and you start to realize, like before you start to build it out, we're all sort of related, you know we're like uh, we're all, we're all sort of related.

Marcus Arredondo: 24:23

You know, we're like, we're all, we're all like that. And when you see the lens through the lens of a child, I think, uh, there's just a much bigger commitment to having a future that is protected and well served. So I it's, uh, it's about serving that. I mean mean, my son is the anchor point to a broader community, of serving that community.

Kevin Palmieri: 24:47

It's very surreal when you realize it's a unit. I never really anticipated getting married. That was never something I really planned on, and now I'm deeply in love and I have an amazing relationship. But there's a little part of me that loves when my wife comes home and has had a rough day and needs a hug. There's a piece of me that it just feels so surreal to feel that that's the best way I can use to explain it. It's just surreal help me.

Marcus Arredondo: 25:24

I don't know if it'll help you, but, um, when somebody has a rough day, when it comes to my wife now, I ask do you want to be helped, heard or hugged? Yes, because I had a tendency to try and fix things same I I ours is.

Kevin Palmieri: 25:35

Are you looking for a shoulder or a strategy? There you go, because I would come in and say, oh yeah, no, here we go. This is the five ways to fix it. Sometimes people just want to hear that sucks.

Marcus Arredondo: 25:43

Get out.

Kevin Palmieri: 25:44

They just need a hug. They just need a hug. All right, this is one of my favorite questions ever to ask, because I think it's super weird and it comes from the fact that oftentimes people will ask me about how I've changed over the last decade. And, just for context, single mom didn't know my dad. No college, not. A lot of people were rooting for my success. They didn't think it was going to happen, and I often say that there's this piece of me that imagines 25-year-old Kev would be triggered by 35-year-old Kev.

Marcus Arredondo: 26:20

Tell me more. What do you mean by that?

Kevin Palmieri: 26:21

triggered by 35 year old Kev. Tell me more.

Marcus Arredondo: 26:24

What do you mean?

Kevin Palmieri: 26:24

by that I would think I was arrogant and just the way. Don't you ever get sick of seeing yourself on camera, kev? You're on camera every day. You do an episode every day, like there has to be some underlying stuff there that hasn't been dealt with. I think that I. I think now, in a way, I kind of represent everything that I was triggered by when I was younger, which scares me honestly, that that part scares me. What would 25 year old Marcus think of Marcus today?

Marcus Arredondo: 26:48

I probably can share a little bit about that. I mean, you know, putting your. It sounds a little bit self-indulgent, to put the like who are you to put your thoughts out there? Who are you to have this show, you know? But in today's's world, I've sort of realized two things. One, uh, you don't want to listen to it. You don't have to. This is pretty easy.

Marcus Arredondo: 27:07

You can move on right, um, but also, you know, for posterity's sake nobody may read it, nobody may hear it, maybe nobody watches it, but I've got something that's at least out there. There I stood for something, yeah, uh, my son could see it down the road and I hope he's not embarrassed by it, but hopefully I stand by something. I was fighting for something. You know, it's so interesting because I think I'd be a massive success in my mind in 25.

Marcus Arredondo: 27:36

There were certain things I wanted to do. I mean, I wanted to own assets, I wanted to have independence, I wanted to work with great people, have a good network, have people who cared about me, be able to go enjoy life. But what I didn't, I thought that you sort of arrive there, it's this utopia and what you realize is like there's problems, man, there's problems everywhere. Every great business operator is simultaneously having a high and a low. One deal's going great and one deal is in the shitter, and the trick is to navigate that with steadiness. And that part. I think I've got a lot to learn. Um, the better.

Marcus Arredondo: 28:26

I wouldn't say a better, a different question that I think is really important, that's that's helping me as a sort of a journaling prompt is what is my 60 and 80 year old self gonna say to me right now?

Kevin Palmieri: 28:39

yeah, you didn't let me get there. That was, that was queued up for the future. You beat me to it.

Marcus Arredondo: 28:43

Oh, I apologize, so that to me is like it really calls into question like who I'm gonna be, um, and honestly, what the what the hell does a 25 year old know about the future? I know, I mean who I thought. I mean I'm a failure because I wasn't on a playboy jet, you know, as a billionaire, because you know leading, leading the Leonardo DiCaprio life. Like, why would? Yeah, that seems great, but that isn't. That wasn't my dream. That was a dream that got seemed attractive. That was the law of attraction. That, like that wasn't me, that was just shiny objects.

Kevin Palmieri: 29:21

What do you think today is your biggest weakness and how has it evolved over time?

Marcus Arredondo: 29:28

Well listening was certainly among, if not the biggest. I'm much better at that now, but I still have a ways to go. I think I'm impatient. Intensity you brought it up. You're not the first person to have brought it up, in fact.

Marcus Arredondo: 29:45

Uh, one of my very good friends who's on the show senile, was giving me comments on his episode and and sort of the others. It was like it's he gave the example. I saw him not that long before, uh or after, and um, he said you got off the plane and you just immediately started attacking me with questions about the bigger things in my life, and it was just so you. And there's part of me that's like, oh, that that sucks, but that is me. So maybe I think I can express better compassion because, honestly, I think I've built up a shell around what I think is a softness in me, and so I probably, like I said, use logic and stuff to disguise it. But I think that's probably. I think I need to be a little bit softer and a child's helping build some of that. So that's probably you.

Kevin Palmieri: 30:42

I have a weird relationship with men cause I grew up without a dad, so for me directness is intimidating.

Marcus Arredondo: 30:48

Uh huh.

Kevin Palmieri: 30:49

So I think that I mean that's the big thing for me, is the intensity, is the directness, and I never gotten that from a man before, so I don't always know how to navigate.

Marcus Arredondo: 30:57

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri: 30:58

That's the thing I've been working through. I'm not going to therapy right now. I'm in the process of finding therapists, but when I that's going to be, the thing is like hey, I need some help with my. My deepest fear is disappointing others, especially men.

Marcus Arredondo: 31:10

That's interesting. Yeah, I have a big fear of disappointment too for the record um disappointing others. But if I could give you one perspective is our life is a is smaller than a sand pebble at a beach, and when you're gone, it's gone and nobody within two generations, no one's gonna give a fuck who you are. Yeah, so do what you gotta do. I mean, that's something I keep telling myself.

Kevin Palmieri: 31:42

Too well, I want to do well I want to do well, you, you to do. I mean that's something I keep telling myself too. Well, I want to do well, I want to do well. You gave feedback one time on something we did, I think you asked for something to be done on a certain date and the team messaged and said it might be, it might not be. And you said something that really stuck out to me. It was like that's really a really good way to deliver. That you said that's disappointing, Something like that's disappointing. Is there any way we can get it done faster? And I really appreciated the way you said that. You didn't say you guys are terrible or whatever. That's disappointing. You just shared with us how you felt. I appreciated that level of communication very much.

Marcus Arredondo: 32:16

Well, I'll give you credit. You and your team have been and I'm not just shooting hot air here incredible for somebody just starting out, first of all, but secondly, very adaptable, and I know that no two clients are the same and I know that I probably had a specific idea of what I had in mind, but I've incorporated a lot of your input, because I don't know what I don't know. You're the expert here. So I give a lot of credit to your team for being adaptable, because I think if it weren't like that, I would have been between a rock and a hard place and searching for an alternative.

Kevin Palmieri: 32:54

Well, I appreciate it and you and I have had a lot of conversations behind the scenes and there's always moving pieces and it's customer service is a whole thing.

Marcus Arredondo: 33:03

Yeah, no joke, I get it. Let me ask you a question, though how would you prefer to be approached?

Kevin Palmieri: 33:11

Oh man.

Marcus Arredondo: 33:12

In a non-direct way.

Kevin Palmieri: 33:13

Yeah, Just tell me I'm great and then don't contact me until you tell me I'm great again. I don't know, I think for me, I just I.

Marcus Arredondo: 33:22

I asked so that I can deliver this better.

Kevin Palmieri: 33:24

I want to yeah, that's, that's a good way. I just, when you get to know the person, you get to know. It's not personal, that's for me when you get to know the person you know. No, marcus is probably in between meetings or he just went for his 5am run. He's just shooting a message. That I just, yeah, intuitively, I think you get an idea of somebody's communication style and then, when you do, you can work from there, because there's some people who say, well, I'm direct. It's like I just think you're a dick.

Kevin Palmieri: 33:51

I think you're just a dick and you're looking for justification I agree so no, I don't think there's anything. I think for me it's getting to know the human helps understand.

Marcus Arredondo: 34:00

No, no question.

Kevin Palmieri: 34:02

That's hugely beneficial, and I think that's where emotional intelligence comes in, and that's something that, now more than ever, I think is supremely important.

Marcus Arredondo: 34:10

I think one of the guests I had, who's a longtime friend, marty Wiener, is an engineer and he helped to build Pinterest and Reddit and the number one thing he didn't use the word outright, but everything he was talking about was the importance of emotional intelligence. So it's it struck me as meaningful that an engineer was highlighting the importance of emotional intelligence, and I've also found all my friends who are engineers of those who are engineers that also had the ability to connect with other people are, without question, the most successful people I know interesting to combine analysis with emotional intelligence, but the emotional intelligence also gets coupled with the ability to communicate yeah but that to me is that's the sweet spot what do you think the top other than that?

Kevin Palmieri: 34:58

what are the top three attributes for success? Assuming somebody has an understanding what success means to them?

Marcus Arredondo: 35:06

um doing hard things. Okay, grit is number one, grit, would you say exactly exactly.

Marcus Arredondo: 35:13

Um, you know, and that's hard things includes when you don't want to do them, not just doing hard things when it's convenient for you.

Marcus Arredondo: 35:21

Um, consistency, okay, you know, one thing I've learned is, on a day-to-day basis, the needle is not moving at all, but one week it will move tremendously, and it may be six months from then or four months from then, but if you're doing the work in the right way, open the suggestions. What you might be missing, I think that's, that's a second component. And then, um, endurance, yeah, is is the the ability to sustain it for a long time. I mean, you know, I re-watched the last dance, the uh chicago Bulls documentary series, and it's remarkable to win a championship, but it's almost unfathomable to do it six times. So keep repeating that because, believe it or not, you think it gets easier, but the odds start to stack against you more and more and you have to redefine your purpose. So maybe endurance is tied to purpose, to be honest, because I think you have to have a strong enough desire as to why you're doing it in order to justify the 5 am, the 11 pm, you know, I see all your photos of the gym at ridiculous hours.

Kevin Palmieri: 36:41

Got to do what it takes. My goal is to be the most consistent human being possible. That's what we're after.

Marcus Arredondo: 36:46

What a great epitaph to have on your.

Kevin Palmieri: 36:48

It's brutal though it's brutal. I think consistency is one of those things that it looks sexy eventually, but the behind the scenes in the mud is just nothing short of brutal. It's just Well that's.

Marcus Arredondo: 37:02

Yeah, doing hard things is embracing the suck. If I could teach any kid it's like hey, I know it sucks, it's never going to change. So you got to change your mindset about the suckiness. Find a way to derive joy from it, even if the workout half the time. I enjoy working out. Running is maybe a little bit different. I don't love running, but I love the feeling of finishing a run. That's my motivation to come back. But it's not at the beginning of the run.

Kevin Palmieri: 37:30

No, it sucks, it's brutal. I watched a TED Talk and again, don't quote me on this because I haven't done the full research but essentially it said something along the lines of the people who are the most consistent are the people who hold conflict in their head longest, meaning they don't make a choice and say you know what, screw it, I'm not going to the gym. They think about it and they think about it and they think about it and they hold the conflict of the person they want to be versus the person they're showing up, as you ever heard of that uh, I'm trying to actually find this quote but, uh, you know, a true, I'm butchering it.

Marcus Arredondo: 38:06

But the true mark of intelligence is to be holding two disparate thoughts simultaneously yep and I think, uh, I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of truth to that you mentioned jim collins.

Kevin Palmieri: 38:18

What's your favorite jim collins book? So I'm a huge fan of jim called huge fan I'm reading beyond, entrepreneurship 2.0, the fly all of them. We've. I've read all of them. What's your favorite Jim Collins book? So I'm a huge fan of Jim Collins, huge fan I'm reading Beyond, entrepreneurship 2.0, the Fly all of them. I've read all of them. They're great, wonderful case studies. So those are some of my favorite books. What's your favorite Jim Collins book? And then, what's your favorite book?

Marcus Arredondo: 38:34

Unfortunately I can only comment on Good to Great, which is the only one I've read and I loved it, and I've heard him on and I loved it. Uh, and I've heard him on. There's a great podcast he's on with shane parish on the knowledge project and one thing I took away from that was something to the effect of like go big, go early, meaning some people are sheepish about sharing information because they don't know if they're going to get taken advantage of. They don't know what's going to happen, and his thought is like be willing to be taken advantage of, go and give and be generous and do it early, and if they screw you, then just move on. But there's no, it's going to encourage cooperation. That's probably the standout. Besides, you know, putting the right person on the right bus. Um, you know, look, I I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this, but the fountainhead was a big.

Marcus Arredondo: 39:32

Uh, ayn rand's fountainhead was a huge influence on my life. I read it when I was 22 years old. A lot of people hate her writing. Uh, I'm not always aligned with her politics. When I hear interviews of her I think she might be certifiably insane, but she wrote a magnificent tome that weighed heavily Again. Timing-wise, that hit me. But Howard Rourke is an architect. That sort of beats to his own drum and, you know, fights the powers that be, but is fighting to serve his own purpose and to be independent of other people, and that to me, it's a degree of agency that gave me a new perspective about solving my own issues, not relying on other people, so that probably is the most influential that comes to mind. That's not really a business building book I hate saying this because in my world everybody has it but Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, poor Dad, has also changed my idea of money.

Kevin Palmieri: 40:38

The first one. That was the first self-improvement, I guess, book that I ever read. It was Rich Dad, poor Dad, and then it was the Compound Effect. Those are the first two. My business partner's an engineer. He said you got to read the Compound Effect Very, very powerful.

Marcus Arredondo: 40:50

I've never read the Compound Effect. I'll have to note that.

Kevin Palmieri: 41:03

It's a great. It's yeah, darren Hardy, great, great, great great.

Marcus Arredondo: 41:04

Book by Jim Collins is like a compound effect, but more hardcore, and for business it's a good one.

Kevin Palmieri: 41:07

Put that in my list. Big fan of Jim Collins, I enjoy interviews or conversations like this because you get to see below the iceberg, below the iceberg, below the iceberg of what you see. I was thinking of this question. I didn't write it down because I didn't know how you'd react, but what is something that your wife would tell us about you, that you would?

Marcus Arredondo: 41:28

never tell us about yourself. Uh, I think I'm a lot goofier than I come off really yeah, okay, yeah, I mean like in in the right setting, uh around the right people okay, all right, what's it?

Kevin Palmieri: 41:42

what's this?

Marcus Arredondo: 41:42

what's a serious one that she would say that you would never tell us um I'm not gonna let you get off that even oh, I thought you were thinking just something that people wouldn't expect. Um no give me something deep uh, that's a tough one.

Marcus Arredondo: 41:59

um, I think people who know me sort of see most of me. Um, I think I uh, that's a good question. I maybe that, like, I think about how investigative I am in, um, in my writing and stuff and I don't um, I don't necessarily think it'd be a surprise. I just think she'd maybe comment on how obsessive I can get. She would also echo how intense I am.

Kevin Palmieri: 42:27

So you're not alone there either. Is there something that you feel like you're hyper passionate about that you wish people would ask you about more?

Marcus Arredondo: 42:38

Honestly, I love these conversations. I mean, I got a handful of people that I do have these occasionally, but I love this. This is a I'll be humming for a while afterward, right, because it's pushing the boundaries of there's a little bit of if we can get into a state of flow and we can repeat that process so that we can call upon it when we need to. That's like sort of the ultimate goal, right, is if you can do that, it happens, and I've. You know I felt flow at different points in my life for you know seconds. But one time I do feel flow is like in this act of creating something, even if it's my own words, just putting things together, writing. When I walk out of here, there's going to be a nice maybe not that disillusioned after a nice workout or a nice yoga class where you're like, oh man, I feel like I'm floating a little bit.

Kevin Palmieri: 43:37

That's the juice, 100%. I've been pushing Marcus to do solo episodes. That's one of the reasons why, because I'm convinced once you do it for long enough, you'll hit flow. I'm convinced.

Marcus Arredondo: 43:48

I'm not against it. I know I'm not against it, I know look, the first hurdle was just getting over myself, which I think I may not have successfully done completely, but I'm improving.

Kevin Palmieri: 44:01

So before we end this.

Marcus Arredondo: 44:04

I do want to ask you, though, like, give me some feedback. Look, let me just. I'll set it up for you too. Yeah, please, because I want to talk about the show for a few minutes. Here there's a few things that I think have worked really well and the things that I learned, and still I'm learning.

Marcus Arredondo: 44:22

But the learning part was, for some reason, I wanted to make a chronology, so I started asking questions, attempting to make it chronological, and I go back to Hemingway, who's one of my favorite writers of all time, and just sort of like the short just get into the meat and, especially in today's world, if you don't capture them, they're an audience member, they're going to move on. I changed that, and I'm going in for the heavy hit at the beginning, which might throw people off a little bit, although if you heard them, you'd probably expect it now. That's one thing that I learned. I've learned to trust my instincts, so I come prepared. I've got questions and I sort of let people meander, but I try and tie them back.

Marcus Arredondo: 45:00

I need to bet. I think I need to improve my copy putting out there, I need to improve the newsletter and I need to improve audience ship. I don't know how to do that yet, I'm still figuring that out, but those are sort of the things that stand out. And things that I want to try next year is at least one panel, at least one or more in-person episodes. Thank you for providing suggestions on the microphone.

Kevin Palmieri: 45:24

Yeah, I got you.

Marcus Arredondo: 45:25

And start reaching for some. You know some guests that also can bring a lot to the table and challenge me and challenge other people. So there's a springboard, but I want to hear your take on where you think I need to most specifically. I want you to redline me and what I'm doing wrong. But if you feel like throwing in anything in there that you think is working, I'd love to hear that too.

Kevin Palmieri: 45:54

I think you are very good at asking questions and world-class at what I call pulling the string. So this wasn't a good example of pulling the string, because I wanted to just get as much content out as possible, but I think you're really good at asking a question and then writing that and just digging deeper. Digging deeper, you might only get through five questions, but you have so much depth that goes and I don't know. I think now we live in a world where people are trying to focus on like, let me get the best clip, let me make sure I can get something that's clip worthy. I think that's really good for breadth, but it's not good for depth. So I think you're really good at focusing on depth. That's something for sure. Got to do solos non-negotiable. You're working towards it. That's something I guarantee. I don't know how to explain it, but it's something that's going to change the game.

Kevin Palmieri: 46:41

One thing that most people are struggling with right now is having the podcast, and being good at podcasting just isn't enough anymore. You have to be good at all the ancillary stuff. You've got to be good at social. You've got to be going on other podcasts. You have to have a place to house people. You just join the Facebook group to see what that was about. That's the biggest thing that I'm seeing right now is the skill and the art of podcasting. It's not enough. It's just just like any other business. You know, you can have a great product, you can have a great. It doesn't matter unless you get it out there, unless you market it right, unless it's that's a really big thing. What else?

Marcus Arredondo: 47:15

What do you see separating of your clients and elsewhere, those between good and great?

Kevin Palmieri: 47:30

I would say commitment to improvement. The clients that are doing the best are the clients who are working harder without me than when they're with me. They're doing their own thing and they're shooting shots and they're testing out stuff and they're always focused on figuring out what's working and what's not. That's a big one, honestly, overall business understanding. When you and I first connected, you said Kev, I know this is going to take a while. If somebody comes to me and says I'm going to give it a month and see what happens, nothing's going to happen. But if somebody comes and said, let me give it a year minimum and see what happens, there's something to just having the survivor bias. If you last longer than anybody else, you're mostly going to be successful.

Kevin Palmieri: 48:08

The people who are solving a unique problem in a unique way for a unique person who can monetize at the bottom of their business, tend to succeed longer because it becomes its own sustainable business. That's something I've been talking to you about. At some point we got to figure out what that looks like, but that's something that if you don't have that, you're just kind of pouring money down the drain month over month and most people can't sustain that for very long. The people who really have their story dialed in, because when you start going on other podcasts, people are going to ask you about your story and if you can hit point A, point B, point C, point D, wrap it up, boom, there's something about that that really helps you get familiar with the audience. So that's a big one.

Kevin Palmieri: 48:53

And then I would say the last one is they're really good at building community, the podcast. Things are changing now and Spotify is really making a push for this, but you and I could listen to the same podcast and the host would have no idea, unless you and I, or you or I, came out and said, hey, I listened to your podcast. You don't know. You have no idea what that number is, who that person next to that number is. We have no idea. So you have to create opportunities for audience to self-identify, and the podcasters that are doing that at the highest degree, from what I've seen, are the most successful statistically.

Marcus Arredondo: 49:28

So two questions as we wrap up. One I've gotten some flack from I wouldn't say my from certain listeners that the right, the sweet spot is 15 to 20 minutes. Granted, I've got a couple of episodes that have gone well over an hour because we were rolling and it was great. So, selfishly, I just sort of went on with it and this is something I've batted around to keep it under 45 minutes so that it's digestible. I also think you know we're starting to put markers in the episodes of people want to sort of skip around with the transcript. They can understand it. What's your take there?

Kevin Palmieri: 50:07

I went to. You were asking me about PodFest recently, or PodFest. I went two years ago, a year ago, whatever it was, and they said that the average length of the top performing shows was 59 minutes, that's good to hear. Well, Joe Rogan's like three hours, so that obviously yeah.

Marcus Arredondo: 50:26

Yeah, most of the greats are going to be.

Kevin Palmieri: 50:27

I mean Tim Ferriss is up there and so I don't know causation correlation, I'm not sure what I could literally do. And we'll do this out and we're trying to do this. You and I are working through it. We'll look at the consumption rate and we'll figure out exactly how long people are sticking around for, and that'll give us a really good piece. For me it has to be fulfilling recording the episodes.

Marcus Arredondo: 50:49

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri: 50:50

So there's realistic and there's ideal. Ideally, you'd hit the exact mark that everybody wants. Realistically, you might also be miserable recording 20 minute episodes with some of these amazing guests that you get the opportunity to talk with. My take is I care more about the longevity of the person than the playing the game from a performance perspective. That's me at least.

Marcus Arredondo: 51:10

Can you explain that?

Kevin Palmieri: 51:11

Yeah, I didn't get to 1900 episodes by doing what is best for business. I got to 1900 episodes by doing what I enjoy doing and I'm willing to. I'm willing to lose for longer if that's what it take. Whatever it is what it is, but I have to enjoy it. If I don't enjoy it, I've lost sight of why I started this in the first place. I don't want this to feel like a job. I have to do X. I don't. I don't want that. So that's the philosophical answer. The tactical answer is yeah, 30 to 45 with a guest is probably ideal. 15 to 20 for solos is probably ideal. If I had to give you a concrete answer, Okay.

Marcus Arredondo: 51:52

One other question which you alluded to was uh, you know at what point, how many episodes, or how many episodes within a certain amount of timeframe? Where do you do you see like, look, dude, this isn't going anywhere.

Kevin Palmieri: 52:08

Is it?

Marcus Arredondo: 52:08

300 episodes. Is it 50 episodes?

Kevin Palmieri: 52:11

First year you can usually tell. After the first year you can tell. I don't expect most podcasts to make money in the first year. Again, money's a measurement. Most people start because they want to make money, so that's why I use that. But after year one and as long as you have all the other strategies the social media stuff, the going on other podcasts, the Facebook group, that type of stuff yeah you can tell after a year For sure. All right.

Marcus Arredondo: 52:38

Thank you, man. You have a ton of potential. You're very welcome.

Kevin Palmieri: 52:39

You have a ton of potential. You're very welcome. You have a ton of potential. It's just a matter of we just have to make sure you're doing the right things in the right way. I don't imagine this doesn't work, and I'm not just saying that because we're producing it.

Marcus Arredondo: 52:49

I's been as joyful as anything I've pursued it's also nice to be not peppered by a client or an investor, or just sort of doing it on my own because I'm feeding my own mind. So anyway, any closing thoughts?

Kevin Palmieri: 53:20

I mirror it back to you. You've been a pleasure to work with. I'm glad the timing came and you stopped ghosting us and came back. I'm very glad and I very much look forward to continuing our relationship and seeing you succeed and helping and adding value anywhere I can and doing this again. I'm happy to do this as much as you want.

Marcus Arredondo: 53:37

Yeah, I would love that. I would love that.

Kevin Palmieri: 53:38

Thank you, brother.