Scales Of Success Podcast

#27 - Halfway Mark: Lessons From 26 Unfiltered Conversations

• Marcus Arredondo

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What does it take to chase your dreams—and stick with them? In this special solo episode, Marcus reflects on the first 26 episodes of Scales of Success and shares the hard-earned lessons that have reshaped his mindset, work, and relationships. From defining true support to separating self-awareness from self-consciousness, he opens up with humor, honesty, and thoughtful takeaways that anyone striving for personal or professional growth will appreciate. Whether you're building something of your own or just looking for a new lens on success, this one's for you.

Episode highlights:
(3:06) 9 lessons from this journey
(4:16) People show support in different ways
(6:33) Neighborhood bar
(7:23) Finding a tribe
(9:34) Becoming a better listener
(13:07) Accountability
(14:55) Two investment stakes
(17:28) Everyone has a story
(19:47) Successful people: Self-awareness vs. Self-consciousness
(22:14) Biographies aren't written about work-life balance
(24:11) Presence, feedback, and support
(25:48) Outro

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Note: The transcript was generated by AI and may contain errors.

Marcus Arredondo: 0:00

Okay, so I'm going to start this out because this is the 26th episode and for I started this idea, the idea of putting four or five together seemed sort of astronomical in my aspirations. And here I am on my 26th and I guess this could be technically a cheat because I don't have a guest on, but I thought it would be beneficial for myself to maybe share some anecdotes and lessons that I've learned over the last 26. To be clear and to start this out, I think this was evident from the get-go that I never started this out thinking that I understood what it was to scale success. This being, I stumbled on this through my wife, this title, but it was really to identify ways to overcome my own limitations, my own shortfalls, and not from an egocentric perspective, but to the extent that I am able to secure valuable guests, which I very much have been able to. I think there would be benefit to anyone out there who might take some of these gems away, more so from anyone else than from me. But as I go through this, I have sort of deduced nine ideas that have struck me and things that I'm thinking about, which I'm sure will change over time. But these are mere offerings to any listener who has stayed along for this ride, who's come along. I know that there's some looky-loos out there. I know you're listening and you know who you are I have never said anything and others who've been very vocal and supportive, even with some positive, constructive criticism, and I value all of that. So I'm speaking to a microphone in a camera and in my garage office, which I've never actually disclosed that this is a garage office, but I think that's pretty self-evident. Thank you for any and all of that. This has been an interesting experience and experiment.

Marcus Arredondo: 2:20

So, on the theme of experiment, this last episode that came out with me and William was a little bit of an embarking into changing a little bit of the structure and to see if there might be some legs on any of these new concepts. So if you do or do not like them, it would certainly be helpful to get that feedback. Please reach out if you can, and if you hate it, probably it'd be more helpful to tell me why than just that you do, but I welcome all of it. So, without spewing on too much longer and to be clear, I hope not to be more than 20 minutes here, which is sort of I'm a little bit uncomfortable about talking for 20 minutes straight, but here we go. There are nine nuggets and I do have some notes, but I won't be reading from them and I'll sort of run through the nine and then I'll break them down a little bit more. But again, these are lessons and observations that I have with respect to going through the show. But I also am finding that there are applications outside of it so you can take from it what you will. And if you're still listening, thank you for indulging me. So here are the nine.

Marcus Arredondo: 3:32

People show support in different ways the neighborhood bar. Number three finding a tribe. Number four becoming a better listener. Number five accountability. Number six two investment stakes. Number seven everyone has. Number six two investment stakes. Number seven everyone has a story. Number eight successful people are more likely to be self-aware without being self-conscious. And number nine biographies aren't written about work-life balance. So none of these are original, but I think the packaging of this may sound have resonated with me to become, I think, hopefully more productive and just a better participant in our civilized conversation.

Marcus Arredondo: 4:13

So, starting out, people show support in different ways, and this goes to I've had a colleague reach out who I never thought I'd be on his radar say that he's watched every one of these episodes and it's been terrific to hear that. But some of my best friends have never listened to an episode and they came out pretty enthusiastic about me doing this. So I find an interesting Venn diagram of two types of people and I'll sort of get into the tribe and I don't want that to be taking in the wrong way, tribe being just a group of people have similar aspirations or goals or intentions. I'm not referring to any tribal mentality as a mob. I am only referring to it as those I can align with, that I can find inspiration from and information that helps me to be a better person in the world.

Marcus Arredondo: 5:10

So what I have found is that there are the people you know family, loved ones, good friends that are in one circle, and then potentially other people that you don't really encounter a whole lot. But when you do spend time with them I think you all know who that person is or who those types of people are. But you leave those conversations with more energy, with more ideas, more concepts, things that you're willing to try out or new takeaways on how to view something within your own life a little bit differently, that could yield a greater productivity. Yield a greater productivity, more positive, just general vibes within your life. And what has been interesting is that those who are close to me there's only a select few that fit in the Venn diagram overlap, and I don't know what that means. But it has been interesting nonetheless and I'm very grateful for any support in any capacity.

Marcus Arredondo: 6:06

But there have been some of my very good friends, who I thought would never take any interest in this, who have and have been very supportive, not just in action but also behind the scenes, helping me to find guests, leveraging their relationships. So thank you to those of you who've done that, and including friends who've actually come on. So thank you to those of you who've done that, and including friends who've actually come on. That has made this show what it is and I'm excited to be continuing to build on the shoulders of giants that are my friends, and I'm fortunate to call them Second neighborhood bar. On the note of good friends, you can have a neighborhood bar, but the neighborhood bar is never going to be super profitable if it's only the neighbors that are supporting it.

Marcus Arredondo: 6:44

So at the first turn I thought my friends aren't supporting this, they're not listening to it. I need more audience, I need more listeners, and they're not showing up. How am I going to get anybody else? And the truth is it doesn't really matter. You sort of need to break out from your friends and your family anyway, and we all know this. But we all look for safety in risky situations and I know this may not seem risky, but it was me going into an uncomfortable area in my life. So just identifying that joy of going beyond the people that you expected to show up has been revealing to me. And, on that note, finding a tribe Finding a tribe has been pretty amazing.

Marcus Arredondo: 7:28

So I had an idea about this show which was more business centric from the beginning. But as I started going down this path, I found both an audience interest but that aligned with my own interest, which is, you know, to some degree I want to scratch my own itch, but I there's no benefit to scratching my own itch if no one wants to listen to that part. So I am trying to find that common ground where it is both scratching my own curiosity itch but also providing value to the people who are listening and watching. And with that this show has started to come into something different. So we've had a New York Times bestseller, we've had a Hollywood producer, a congressman, former DA officer, explosive ordinance disposal technician, inventors, investors, creators, founders, c-suite executives, entrepreneurs, philanthropists, dog rehabilitators. We have some more entrepreneurs that are coming on in the next few weeks, which I'm really excited to share, including some military vets whose voice I think needs to be heard more, especially in more divisive times.

Marcus Arredondo: 8:33

I think there's a time now for longer form content. I've gotten a lot of feedback that this probably should be shorter, and I could be wrong. Maybe it should be shorter, but I don't find a 15, 20 minute conversation to be as investigative or rich as I think it could be and, to be honest, the 45 minutes or an hour that I have for many of these guests I think is insufficient as it is, but I think there needs to be some room to run with these conversations. I am not here to convince anybody of any thought that I have or any one of my guests have. I'm not here to convince anybody of any thought that I have or any one of my guests have, but I am here to try and parse out what is unique about these people's experiences that are relevant and worthwhile to include in how we view the world and make opinions. I think there are too many people that are quick to make opinions when they are not informed not just by reading what's out there, but actually talking to people who are most impacted. So I have found an incredible joy in that, and I think this goes to my fourth subject, which is being a better listener, and I think I certainly can start with this.

Marcus Arredondo: 9:43

But we can all be better listeners, and that doesn't necessarily mean just sitting quietly. I think that means identifying ways to understand what the other person's saying better. I have been historically a confrontational and argumentative person, and I think that has not served the people who are close to me or myself in the best way possible, and nothing breaks this down better than an infant or a toddler that does not listen. But through him my son, I think I've learned how to at least try and meet people where they're at, including him, and so, as a result of maybe experiencing that and having to witness myself listen, I have both absorbed more information, but also been able to approach a lot of these topics. With that, something square peg can fit into a round hole, I am realizing, you know I think up the ladder you go in terms of cognition and consciousness and understanding, you also start to identify that you really don't know as much as you think you do and that used to cause anxiety for me and I finding a little bit more joy in that. So I wrote this down and I highlighted it and I want to see why.

Marcus Arredondo: 11:09

But we've covered political topics, including misinformation, how we can reunite as a collective citizenship what's required for more civic participation. We've also addressed addiction and therapeutic consequences of certain psychedelics making money quickly early in life and the long, tiresome road in overcoming failure. That, to me, is maybe the most poignant of any aspect of each of the episodes we have. I'm really trying to understand how people continue to persevere in the face of increasing uncertainty and I think we can all value that. That's a lifelong skill that benefits everyone close to you, including yourself or myself, and I found a lot of that to be incredibly valuable. We've addressed drug busts, aerobatic feats. We've also translated how these confrontation can be metabolized into overcoming fear and overcoming the, the emotional challenges.

Marcus Arredondo: 12:08

I think there's a physical aspect to many of the guests that have been on here, but uh, really, how those physical uh overcoming of hurdles translates to. You know, just voices in our own head. I think that's really what started this, uh, this show is to better understand what that voice inside my own head I should be listening to, and I think we can all do a better job of that. We sometimes get exposed to other ideas and, to be clear, I think there's a balance here not to become over indulged in hubris. I think there is a fine line between absorbing external stimuli and information but reconciling it with something that is your own script and that's not as easy. That's never an easy thing to integrate, but I think the more we can be in tune with what our priorities are and aspirations are and we're serving the longer term pursuit, the better we can all be at chasing down our dreams. Fifth, accountability this goes to a little bit of what I was saying, but the more you know, I think that there's a, there is some sense of you've got a dream you should share with everybody, so everybody calls you out on it and to some degree I think there may be some benefits in that.

Marcus Arredondo: 13:20

I have not always found that to be true. I have found sometimes, like this podcast, even when it was becoming actualized and starting to come out. I got a lot of blank stares because of what I was trying to do, and I think people had a tough time reconciling where I was going with it, what I was selling, what I was trying to do and the honest feedback. There was nothing. I wasn't trying to sell anything. I was really just looking for opportunities to expand my own understanding of the world and in so doing, I can say things in private. I can suggest, for example, that I need to be healthier, I need to be working out more, I need to be eating better, but when you are actually doing it, but then actually saying it in front of a camera that's going to be presumably preserved in posterity for posterity's sake it calls into something a little bit broader, where it's one thing to lie to yourself, but it's another to lie to yourself in front of everybody else. So that has been an added benefit that I didn't expect, and so, to the extent that there's any reason to become more public about something as a means to make sure that you don't fall short, there is benefit. I am finding that, and so you know what's the downside of not being able to release a show one week? Um, nothing, no one. No one has any negative impact, except I treat it as though, uh, my career depended on it and, right or wrong, that could be stupid, we'll see but it's managed to get me to 26, which I'm very proud of Going on, and I'm going to start to wrap this up soon. Thank you again for continuing to listen, if you haven't fallen asleep or tuned out yet.

Marcus Arredondo: 15:02

I have also identified that putting things into investment sort of ideas has been helpful for me. Most specifically, I am identifying that there are a lot of people who have investment in you. A lot of people care about you, they want the best for you, but not everybody who has the highest investment in you that is, some family members are the people you should be listening to, and I started to realize that, of all the invested shares within me, there should be voting and non-voting shares, and just because you have the highest investment share in me as a non-voting member doesn't mean that you automatically get a voting share. And, conversely, on the preceding tribe conversation, there are certain people who are achieving things that I want to achieve, that have found a way to maneuver through the world in a way that is more effective than me, that I want to take cues from, but they have less of a care whether I succeed or not. I am giving them voting shares because I think that is what's going to help me get to where I need to go. That's not to suggest that family members don't get voting shares, I'm just saying I think it requires some cognizance to actually ascribe what people should we be listening to, and it's counterintuitive sometimes, because the people you should be listening to are living the life that you want to, are on the same path, and so there's real-time data that can actually be beneficial to you in actually moving forward. Growth requires going out of that comfort zone, and when you are relying on loved ones who may be in the same comfort zone, you are seeking to add to, to grow not out of, but to incorporate into a broader perspective. It's critical that you don't take on their fears or their jealousies or whatever the case may be. So, helping me to identify who are the people I should be literally not voices in my head, but literally people. I should be heeding their advice, and it doesn't always have to be people that care about your outcome. So I think that was been a sort of an interesting observation that has been beneficial for me Seven, going back to being a better listener.

Marcus Arredondo: 17:30

I have found that everyone has a story. I read an article which was in my original post on LinkedIn, about Joshua Rothman, who wrote this essay called what we Don't Know, and that was coinciding with the genesis of the idea behind this podcast. And what he writes about is that you know there are people and circumstances in your immediate surrounding that you don't know about. You don't because we see friends or family members and we catch up about what's going on, but there's a whole treasure trove underneath the tip of the iceberg that we never really expand upon. We never explore the tip of the iceberg that we never really expand upon. We never explore and this was a perfect opportunity for me to get people I cared about in many cases to come on the show and talk about parts of their life that we really just don't really dive into. So you know, in that he actually talks about rational ignorance which is choosing not to learn something.

Marcus Arredondo: 18:29

Strategic ignorance which is avoiding information to learn something. Strategic ignorance which is avoiding information to protect one's emotional or ethical well-being I'm certainly guilty of that. I think many of us can be Willful ignorance which is maintaining ignorance over time, often due to fear or denial, and then involuntary ignorance which is not knowing, due to lack of access, opportunity or conceptual framework. So we need to choose what type of ignorance we have, if at all. But in order to identify whether we've got ignorance is first to at least understand what is the area of knowledge we have and what goes beyond that. And that, I think, starts with the people closest to you.

Marcus Arredondo: 19:06

If I can give one piece of personal positive advice, it has been over the last few years. I take on close friends' birthdays. I do what I call a time capsule and I spend 45 minutes just talking about what their state of mind is, how their kids are, what they're proud of, what they think they did wrong, what they could have done better, and it has been in a tremendous way to understand more about the people closest to me, you know, including family members, and so, for whatever that's worth, everybody has a story. If we can just be better listeners, maybe. If you don't think that people have a story, you may not be asking the right questions. Successful people are more likely to be self-aware than without being self-conscious, and this to me sort of has revealed itself over the course of these conversations and this is this spoke to me, partly because I was very self-conscious when I came out with this podcast. But I conflated self-consciousness with self-awareness and I'll just break down the definition with some chat GPT help.

Marcus Arredondo: 20:14

But self-consciousness is focused on how others perceive you. There's often an emotional component, including shame and security or social anxiety, and in examples, you give a presentation, suddenly one of your voice sounds weird or outfit looks off. Now you're distracted by something or how you're coming across. It is very me-centric. Self-awareness is how you perceive yourself, your own thoughts, your feelings and behaviors. Emotion is typically linked to curiosity, clarity and growth. Examples you're noticing you're getting defensive in a conversation Instead of reacting impulsively. You pause and consider why.

Marcus Arredondo: 20:51

Self-consciousness is a fear of judgment. Self-awareness is a freedom through understanding. I don't think that that is all-encompassing, for sure, but the one thing I wanted to highlight within the self-awareness versus self-consciousness is turning your awareness to the people around you, understanding how they're viewing the world not just viewing yourself, but less focused on how you're being perceived, but rather how you perceive yourself, and I have certainly benefited from you know I still get nervous. I'd have 30 takes on a lot of these intros because I screw up a word or I mispronounce something, I stutter, I cough, my voice gets dry, whatever the case may be, and even prepping for these shows, when I have these conversations these have been big enough names for me to make sure that I pay them the respect of being prepared and I still get nervous. One thing that helps to take away any nervousness is to be thinking about them how can I bring more of them into the world? And to do it in a judicious way that's fair and that gives them the runway to actually be comfortable in who they are. That has been an enormous benefit to me outside of this podcast, been an enormous benefit to me outside of this podcast.

Marcus Arredondo: 22:11

And then I'll say the last thing, which is that biographies aren't written about a work-life balance. You'll never see a biography written about somebody who had work-life balance. I know that that's a big focus right now, and Sahil Bloom talks a little bit about this that what work-life balance is? More seasonal? It comes and it goes, but when you're chasing after something, there are people that are incredibly focused and there's a few that stand out. I mean between Congressman Gonzalez, aj Wilder, gus Forbes, courtney Buck, ricky Patel, sunil Rati I mean it really goes on for every guest, but they all sort of talk about the sacrifice they have to their family by subjecting them to longer periods of time where they're just less accessible.

Marcus Arredondo: 22:58

And being around my family is a very high priority, but at some point you got to feed your own soul too, and you know there's no perfect way to do this. I'm finding my own way, but, um, sometimes you have to embrace the suck and sometimes things get hairy, and if you can just be aware that you can come back to something that's meaningful, not take it for granted and know that these sprints, um, you're stringing together a series of sprints to make a marathon, but ultimately you need to be sustainably energetic and, uh, and sometimes that requires bursts of productivity, so just shy of 25 minutes. Uh, I'm curious what you guys think of this. This could be self-aggrandizing and I might not be aware of it, but I hope that if there's anything valuable in here, I was able to share it.

Marcus Arredondo: 23:53

The whole purpose of this was again in this, the way I started it, which is that I don't necessarily believe I have anything special to share, but to the extent that there's any experience that I've had and what my takeaway could be interpreted as a benefit to anybody else. Just one person having that benefit is worth all of this. So I would love to get your feedback on even some of these theories that may be wrong, whether this format is even worth engaging with any further. If you're out there and you are listening and you haven't said something, I'd welcome it so long as it's constructive, because I'm not trying to get in a fight with anybody, but I am certainly looking to be better and, to the extent that I can combine things that I'm curious about and be better at doing that, while also solving something that you, as the audience, are interested in and want to find out more about, I will do everything I can to do that. And I'll do one last plug, which is that any feedback, any subscriptions, including the newsletter, is greatly appreciated, not just on a personal level, but it has enabled us, at each turn, with each successive guest, with each fruitful conversation, we are ever increasingly capable of bringing in better and better and better guests to help fulfill this path of engaging in conversation. If you have suggestions on good people, I'm always looking for good guests, people, particularly, who've overcome an obstacle, more than one obstacle, who are testing resilience, who've gone way beyond their comfort zone and continue to proactively pursue that element. That's the medicine I'm looking to take myself. So thank you for listening to take myself. So thank you for listening. Thanks for listening.

Marcus Arredondo: 25:55

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