Engaging Conversations | Inspiring Dialogue, Empowering Communities
Welcome to Engaging Conversations, the podcast that connects you with the pulse of our local communities.
Hosted by Leon Goltsman, Co-Founder of Ecolibrium Headquarters (EcoHQ), each episode invites you on an inspiring journey into the stories that shape and uplift our neighbourhoods.
From visionary leaders and industry experts to everyday heroes making a difference, Engaging Conversations offers an exclusive look into our society’s diverse and dynamic fabric. This podcast is your gateway to broadening your perspective, building meaningful connections, and being inspired.
Please note that the views and opinions expressed by guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or EcoHQ. The discussions in this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. Listeners are encouraged to seek independent professional advice before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.
Tune in, join the conversation, and discover the people, places, and purpose driving positive change.
Engaging Conversations | Inspiring Dialogue, Empowering Communities
#28 - Rising from Ashes: How Brotherhood Heals Men's Trauma with Dave Martin
What happens when men finally find a space where they can be vulnerable without judgment? Lives transform, connections form, and healing begins.
Dave Martin, Director at Survivors R Us and founder of Sons of the Phoenix, knows firsthand the devastating silence that surrounds men's trauma. After experiencing profound loss, including three children, and spiralling into depression that nearly ended his life, Dave discovered something crucial: men desperately need safe spaces to connect with others who understand.
Sons of the Phoenix was born from this realisation. Named for the mythical bird that rises renewed from ashes, this support initiative helps men rebuild after hitting rock bottom. The symbolism resonates deeply with participants - men who have been knocked down but possess the innate capacity to rise again.
Dave shares a remarkable success story of two strangers who met through the program. Both homeless, they formed an unexpected bond and now share housing, holding each other accountable through life's challenges. It's a powerful testament to what becomes possible when men drop their guards and form authentic connections.
The program operates within the SRU Community Hub, offering a progressive pathway from initial support groups to social connections at "Ken's Corner" and practical activities like woodworking. This holistic approach addresses both emotional needs and the healing power of purposeful creation.
With raw honesty, Dave reveals his own journey through grief, depression, and suicidal thoughts, highlighting how one phone call to a friend saved his life. His vision now extends beyond local impact - he dreams of taking Sons of the Phoenix nationwide, particularly to rural areas where isolation compounds mental health struggles.
Ready to witness transformation in your life or someone you care about? Visit survivorsrusincorporated.com or call 02 4953 7108 to learn more about Sons of the Phoenix and other support programs. Sometimes the bravest act is simply reaching out.
Thank you for listening!
Hello and welcome back to Engaging Conversations. I'm your host, Leon Goltsman, and in today's episode we're tackling something that doesn't get talked about enough. Behind the silence, behind the pressure to stay strong, are men quietly dealing with trauma, loss, isolation and stigma. Joining me is Dave Martin, director at Survivors R Us, also known as SRU Community Hub. He is the founder of Sons of the Phoenix, a powerful support initiative helping men rise from their lowest points by creating safe, judgmental-free spaces to connect and heal. Today, we openly talk about why men need each other, the healing power of brotherhood, and what it really means to rise from the ashes. This episode is proudly supported by Niaz Cannoth from Invest Intelligence, a leader in ethical investment who believes in building and strengthening communities. We're deeply grateful for his support in helping bring these important issues and conversations to life. So now, without further ado, let's get into it.
David Martin:My name's Dave Martin, I'm a director here at Survivors R Us and I'm also a male facilitator for the men's groups here and a mentor as well, and through the years I've found that there was no support and help for men and I've had a lot of trauma over the years through different things and I thought there was need for men to get help out there in a positive way.
Leon Goltsman:You've been deeply involved in community support through Sons of the Phoenix. What inspired you to start this men's health group?
David Martin:I found there was no real help for men out there. There is some groups, but I had a look at my experiences through life and I thought there's a better way at helping these men get through it as a group of men. Normally you go down the pub and have a chat, but we have a chat here at Sons of the Phoenix and we build a male bonding like mates at the pub.
Leon Goltsman:And not everybody goes to the pub anyway, no they don't and some blokes.
David Martin:They just need that initial someone to friendly face and a chat and the main thing is someone to listen to them.
Leon Goltsman:And you know, dave, the name Sons of the Phoenix does carry some significant meaning. Can you explain the symbolism behind the name?
David Martin:Yeah, I thought about it and I thought, as men, we've all get knocked down, trodden on. We're basically like the phoenix We've been beaten and we just burn out. And I thought the phoenix is a classic bird it rebirths after it's burnt and, like that, we're reburning from the ashes and we're rising back out of the ashes and being reborn. That's why I chose the name.
Leon Goltsman:And you know, sometimes not everybody realises they've got that ability.
David Martin:Yeah, I found that when we sit around and have a chat, we spoke about the phoenix and the name behind it, and everyone can relate to a phoenix in some way or another. Some have been in phoenix boarding groups. They've read books on the phoenix, all different stuff and that really is drawing them in.
Leon Goltsman:I think what's drawing people in. As being a patron of Survivors R Us, one of the things that I've noticed is the safe place that's available for people, and especially for men. How do you ensure that Sons of the Phoenix remains a non-judgmental environment?
David Martin:We sit down. When they come to the Sons, first of all they screen downstairs with our support team and they go listen. We think you need to come to this group and have a chat. It's a safe, secure environment. We hold no judgment. All the boys or the men that come, they're all looking for somewhere just to sit down and have a chat, feel safe and secure and if we've got help for them if we happen to touch a subject that may be not so nice for them, and we have counsellors and support people here ready for them if something sets them off, basically people feel safe and comfortable here. So basically, what happens? The fellas that come here, they know they can speak freely and what they speak about stays in the room and doesn't go any further than that.
Leon Goltsman:And that's really, really important, because if people feel comfortable, they can get it out of their system, and you've witnessed positive changes in participants. No doubt Can you share a success story that stands out for you.
David Martin:Yeah, we have a young fellow that comes here. I call him young. He's 50-ish, that's pretty young, but I call him a young fellow. He's younger than me. He come here, he was broken, he was homeless, living on the street, and he come to the Phoenix and we had our first meeting and he met up with another gentleman in the group and they, buddied up by two mates, didn't even know each other and they'd been helping each other out and they're helping each other out by ones. The young fella, he knows where all the food places are, all the buses and that, and the other bloke didn't know all this. So they're now sharing a house at the moment and they're both looking after each other and if one of them mucks up, the other one goes hey, pull your head in. You know you're getting out of line here and that, I think, is a great thing.
Leon Goltsman:They're a role model for the rest of our group that come in. Well, they're obviously holding each other to account. Yes, but that's so important to have a buddy to watch, because I think a lot of the people feel so desolate.
David Martin:Yeah, I think desolate. Yeah, I find that a lot of them just don't have mates, they don't have anywhere to go, they've got nothing to do and they just sit at home alone and just think about not positive thoughts, and some people do have mates, but they feel shame that they can't actually go out there and talk to them, and that's sad, but that's the reality.
Leon Goltsman:This is what happens. I feel that you're providing collaboration and we know that that enhances community outreach. So how does your group collaborate with the SIU Community Hub, which is Survivors Are Us now that's expanded, it's grown and how does that collaborate with the organisation and perhaps other organisations as well?
David Martin:Well, at the moment the boys come to the Sons of the Phoenix. We're looking at a 10-week program and if they need to stay longer, they stay longer and we'll move on from there to what we call Ken's Corner, which is then a group of men that come in on a Thursday morning have a coffee and a bit of cake and just laugh and chat and joke about what's going on in the world. And then we're moving on from there. We're going to start what we call the Woodchucks group. It's for the men to come and make toys and timber products and then they'll go on and hopefully we can sell those products at Christmas for kids, for Christmas presents, or we'll just donate them.
David Martin:We find that's very great for the blokes, hands-on, and it's just relaxing. They can sit out there, they can. If they want to sit and chat, they can chat. If they want to make a project, they just come up and go Dave, we want to make a project, I organize all the gear and, um, we go ahead and we make the project and, yeah, stamp the phoenix on it and yeah, we'll see.
Leon Goltsman:A lot of people don't realize that mental health is perhaps, and it doesn't matter what happens in life. It tends to lead people down the same path of a spiral of desperation when people feel alone. So you're clearly addressing the mental health stigma amongst men is a barrier. Now what strategies do you use to encourage men to seek?
David Martin:help is a barrier. Now, what strategies do you use to encourage men to seek help? First thing is speak out. Speak to someone. If you're not feeling right, actually go and seek help. I found for a long time I was carrying it and I didn't speak out and I just the typical way, just harden up, princess, and get on with it. And then one day I just had a breakdown and I come to Survivors because it's the only safe place I knew and started progressing from there and get help. Speak out, speak to someone at least.
Leon Goltsman:Well, you're touching on your personal experiences and how that's shaped your approach. How has your own life experiences influenced the way you lead the group?
David Martin:Well my life experiences when I was younger. I was coerced in a relationship and I didn't realise, and it took me a lot to one day I just said I'm not putting up with this anymore and walked away. In my previous life I lost three children, a set of twins, one at 19 weeks, one at 20 weeks, and I lost a daughter after she was alive for 14 weeks from massive heart failure. And I found back then there was no support for the men. We went to a counsellor this day and she said oh, I know how you feel. And the young girl was 20 years of age and she had no life. When I asked, have you been through this? The young girl said no, I read it in a book and I thought that's not the right way to help people. You need someone that's got that life experience behind them. And I always say I don't know what you're thinking or how you feel, but I have been down a similar path and so I'm just happy to sit here and listen and just work with you. Yeah, see, I found.
David Martin:Then I ended up with depression and I was just one angry, cranky man all the time and eventually it caused my marriage. I lost, you know I just couldn't put up. I couldn't deal with it anymore, so I moved on and then I ended up spiralling down to nearly thinking about taking my own life. I'm driving along the road and, just looking at it, it's semi-parked on the side of the road and I thought, if I hit it at 180 kilometres an hour, I'm going to make sure I'm not here.
David Martin:And then I got to work and I mulled on it all day and I ended up ringing up one of my mates that's a really good mate and he said, dave, what's wrong? And I told him. He said I'll be there in half hour, hang on. And I spoke to him for hours and sort of cleared my head. It is a brotherhood. Yes, we've all been down, knocked down rose again, and that's why we're using the things, because we're rising from our ashes. I found it's like a tight-knit group. Once you put down your guard, your wall that you put up, there's blokes there to listen to you. They understand They've all been down that same road. Definitely, reach out. I would suggest they reach out, contact someone, anyone, and start the conversation, seek help or give us a call.
Leon Goltsman:One of the things that we talk about a lot with most every single person on our programs is the satisfaction of doing good for other people. The act of giving you are an inspiration, dave, and I just wanted to ask you whether you feel that doing good for other people has had anything to do with that.
David Martin:Yeah, I've found for many years I just wasn't happy with my job and my partner she said to me the other week she can see the changes in me Just here. I'm happier now, I'm not so cranky, I've got time for people and I really really enjoy this job. Now my role here. I feel like I'm giving back something to the community.
Leon Goltsman:Yeah, Well, you certainly are doing a lot for the community, but you're doing a lot for the community, but you're doing a lot for yourself as a result, and just sitting here, I can feel that I'm a lot more relaxed.
David Martin:I'm not like the energiser bunny jumping up and down, I'm just relaxed now.
Leon Goltsman:Well, there must be a vision for the future of the group.
David Martin:Dave, what are your plans for expanding or evolving Sons of the Phoenix? I'd like to take it nationwide one day. That is my vision to try and get out there and help as many blokes as I can, and I've got a bush background. I'd like to take it to the bush to help the men out there that struggle.
Leon Goltsman:What a vision, what a vision and you know what. They certainly could benefit from this, and I'm happy to chat to you offline on this one as well, because some of the people I've spoken to in different regions of Australia and one of those programs. They could certainly gain value.
David Martin:Yeah, I'm not sure how we're going to do it yet, but I've been out west and we've done other drought reliefs and all that and we've spoken. I've spent hours with the farmers out there and some of them are just looking for a bloke to sit down and have a chat. That they don't really know, but open up and they're not afraid to open up to a stranger. If they try and open up to family, they feel like they've failed.
Leon Goltsman:Well, it kind of reminds me of what Viktor Frankl once said If you know why you do something, then all the other stuff isn't important. It'll happen, you know, if you know why you're doing what you're doing, and in your case you're doing it because you want to help other people.
David Martin:Yeah, I'd like to help people because I sometimes wonder how I would have went if I got help years ago. Would my life have been different?
Leon Goltsman:Yeah, well, who knows what could have happened? But we're here today, yes, and we are making the world a better place. Well, you are. You're making the world a better place.
David Martin:Yes, thank you, I appreciate that because some days I look at it and go is it helping? Better place? Well, you are. You're making the world a better place. Yes, thank you, that's. I appreciate that because some days I look at and go is it helping or not? And then when I see my blokes and sons of the phoenix and how they they come in broken and destroyed when they leave here, they've at least got a smile on their face and they always say I can't wait to see you next week and make sure you're here.
Leon Goltsman:Good on you, dave, and that's very, very inspiring. I mean, your work has broader implications for men's health and beyond. What messages would you like to convey to men who are hesitant to seek support?
David Martin:Do it, go and get help, go and speak to people, give a mate a phone call or give us a phone call here and come and visit us.
Leon Goltsman:So, Dave, if people wanted to learn more about what you do or get involved, how would they find you?
David Martin:Look us up on the web on survivorsrusincorporatedcom and all the information's there. What we do here, all our different support groups we have, and if you have a look, it'll have all the information's there. What we do here, all our different support groups we have, and if you have a look, it'll have all that information. And please follow us on Facebook as well. They've got some great photos and what's going on and what happens here every day.
Leon Goltsman:And I'll certainly be putting some more information on our show notes for anyone else who wants to find out more. But, dave, look you've been fantastic and I just wanted to say thank you for all the great work that you do. Sometimes in life we go through these challenges. We don't know why they happen to us, but they do, and if we can bear up under the pressures that we go through, the pleasures become much greater than the pain.
David Martin:Yeah, I agree with that, William, yeah, yeah, for anyone that is interested in the Sons of the Phoenix or volunteering, you could give us a call and our support team on 0249537108, and we'd love to have you come and join the team and that's a very valid contribution.
Leon Goltsman:That is correct 4953 7108. Of course, there's the website, or just pick up the phone Again. I'll have all that in the show notes. Excellent, well, thank you so much, and I'll be keeping my eyes out for the great work that you're doing.
David Martin:And thanks, Leon, for having us on your program. It's great to get out there. Thanks, mate Jeez.
Leon Goltsman:Pleasure. That was Dave Martin speaking from the heart about the struggles many men face and the hope that's possible when they're given the space to be seen, heard and supported. If today's conversation struck a chord, don't keep it to yourself. Reach out, whether it's to a mate, a support group like Sons of the Phoenix, or even a quiet moment of honesty with someone you trust. Taking that first step is often the bravest. So to learn more, visit Survivors R Us online or follow their work on social media. A special thank you once again to our Ni az Cannoth, from Invest Intelligence, whose commitment to ethical investment is grounded in strengthening communities and creating lasting impact. Your support helps bring stories like these into the spotlight. Thanks for listening to Engaging Conversations and thank you to the audience and all those who are making it possible to empower voices and strengthen our communities, one conversation at a time. I'm Leon Goltsman and until next time, stay kind, stay open and let's keep building stronger communities together.
