Faith Unmuted With Esther Graham
This is the place where Christian women get the opportunity to press the button and say what they want, how they want and exactly how they feel.
The one place where, together, we can collectively walk through our truths, live unapologetically and stop hiding.
Esther Graham has being in ministry all her life and has felt silenced from all the labels and responsibilities that come from being a pastor's daughter to the unexpected role of being a pastor's wife. This journey has not been easy nor has it been just. Esther no longer wants to hid nor lower her voice.
On this podcast, Esther shares what happens when you use your voice and shares the stories of overcoming the stereotypes and living unapologetically.
Faith Unmuted With Esther Graham
Breaking Free from the Need to Please
Ever felt trapped by the need to "fake it till you make it"? You're not alone. This week on Faith Unmuted, I uncover the liberating power of authenticity through heartfelt stories and candid reflections. I share my personal journey of shedding societal and religious expectations, confronting the discomfort of insincere interactions, and finding true freedom in being myself. Discover how showing up as your true self can attract genuine connections and bring a sense of clarity and freedom into your life.
I also delve into the paramount importance of integrity in both personal and professional realms. Hear about a tense moment with an employee that underscored the strength found in honesty and responsibility. Through these experiences, we emphasize that abandoning the facade leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships and a more fulfilling life.
Get ready to be inspired to embrace your authentic self and enrich your well-being by living unapologetically in your truth. Tune in and start your journey toward authenticity today.
You are listening to Faith Unmuted. The place where Christian women get the opportunity to press the button and say what they want, how they want and exactly how they feel. The one place where, together, we can collectively walk through our truths, live unapologetically and stop hiding fake, no more, show up as you, man.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you I had to learn that lesson, but it took me a little while to learn that lesson. Have you ever heard the saying, you know, fake it till you make it? That was a saying that started a few years back and I, you know, fake it till you make it. That was a saying that started a few years back and I would always hear it fake it till you make it. And people are saying, yeah, yeah, fake it till you make it. I hate that saying. I don't like it because there's no such thing, as far as I'm concerned, as faking it till you make it, at least for me. You know, fake it means that you're faking who you are. You're not showing up in your as your authentic self. Fake it means that I'm going to pretend that this is how it is, but really it's not. Like, I think, people on Facebook a lot, they fake it till they make it and they always want to show, pretend like if everything is great. How about if we try something new? How about if we just show up? You know, show up as you, show up as you. I'm speaking from many years of showing up, with a smile on my face, struggling to fake it. And when I realized that faking it is just not something I do well, ask anybody I know Listen.
Speaker 2:When my husband and I we were ministers at a church overseas and a part of the they would have where you greet everyone, you hug them, and you greet them, you say hello, this is Esther y'all. When the greeting time came and everyone would stand up to go and hug and greet each other, I went to the restroom and I stayed in the restroom until the greeting time was over. I did it all the time. Why? Because I don't believe in faking it and I felt that a lot of people that were walking around and you could say maybe I was judging them Well, maybe I was, I don't know, but I don't think some of them I was judging because I knew them, you know, and they would come and hug you and say, oh, god bless you, or or anything like that, and want to talk to you, and I just was not into doing that. See, I'm this person who, when I speak to you, it's because I want to speak to you. When I smile at you, it's because I want to smile at you. I don't believe in faking it till you make it. And so every time for that service, I would walk out.
Speaker 2:And I had a friend who were really close and she followed me one Sunday and she said Esther, why do you, every time you walk out during this time? Why do you do that? And I explained to her. I said because I don't want to hug people that I know don't really care for me. I don't want to hug people that when we walk out the door they don't even really know me or they act as if they don't know me. They become someone else. I don't want to be hugged by that. I want to feel the genuine love. And so if I can't feel that, I prefer not to put myself in the midst of the faked stuff. And maybe I just have issues, maybe it's just all me and I'm the one with the issue, but I just firmly believe that if I'm going to show you love, it needs to be from a genuine place, it needs to be from an authentic place, it needs to be showing you the love of God, and that's where I choose to operate from. But I will tell you I wasn't always like this, because again I felt as if I needed to pretend because, again, I felt as if I needed to pretend and so for a long time I would fake, pretending to smile.
Speaker 2:I always knew how to show up, and I think many of you do. You know how to show up. You know how to show up as the mom. You know how to show up as the sister, the family member, the significant other. You know how to show up as the sister, the family member, the significant other. You know how to show up as the minister or the pastor. You know how to show up as the CEO, as the entrepreneur. You know how to show up and you do it well. I did it well.
Speaker 2:But there just comes a point to where it's like I'm no longer going to show up as who I am not, comes a point to where it's like I'm no longer going to show up as who I am not. I need to show up as who I am and even if I'm in a room where people may not care for me, or they may be judging me, or they may feel as if I don't belong there because, trust me, I've been in many rooms where I did not belong All of that might be going on, but you still have to show up as you, and what I have found is, when I show up as me, not only am I happy with me because I feel free and clear, but I found that genuine people will be drawn to you and they really will like who you are. What I discovered was it's the continual phony people who keep faking it that's not going to care for you showing up authentically. Yeah, they're the ones that will reject you, because what happens is that the person you are, the authentic person you are, challenges the person that they are not. It's challenging them and they're basically looking at me and saying I wish I could show up like you.
Speaker 2:I had someone say to me man, I wish I could just get up there and speak like that. I wish I could get up there and just show who I am and just say what I have to say. And I said you can. You can really do that. You just have to know who you are and make a decision that, no matter what people say, no matter what they think, I'm showing up as me, and I want to say again that it doesn't happen overnight. I want to say that this is something you have to be very intentional about.
Speaker 2:I have to be very intentional about showing up as Esther, and this is what I also found out, in all truth and transparency and integrity. What I found out is that there's some areas, some rooms, I'll show up as me. There's some areas, some rooms, I'll show up as me, and then there's other rooms I won't show up as me, and it's not that I'm showing up as not me, but I'm just not the full me. You know what I mean. Like I'll show up, 50% of Esther will show up and not a hundred percent based on the room I'm in. What I'm working on right now is, in every room, showing up 100%.
Speaker 2:I'll give you a good example when I do my retreats, I show up 100% as Esther, and here I am doing this podcast and I had to be talked into Esther. When you're doing this podcast, make sure that you're showing up 100%, talking about things that I may not talk about in a lot of places, but I just feel like, if it's my time to really share what's just really in my heart, and part of what's in my heart is saying listen, you got to show up as who you are, because when you don't, someone is missing out on what you have to offer what you have to share. Someone is missing out on meeting the real you, and when someone judges who you are, I want you to keep in mind what I said earlier that it's who you are really. That's really causing the conflict in them, because they're not showing up, they're not showing up as who they are and so they're looking at you and they're rejecting you. But really deep down inside they're saying, really I wish I could show up like how she's showing up. I wish I could just be who I am, just like how she's being who she is the good, the bad and the ugly, bad and the ugly.
Speaker 2:I remember, as there were nights, sometimes I just used to cry on my pillow and I would always quote, you know the scripture that says um, that God brings everything together for you to work out for your good I'm paraphrasing because y'all know I paraphrase and um, and I would say it's the good, the bad and the ugly that he works together for your good. And sometimes in the moment, you might not see the good, you may only see the ugly, see the good, you may only see the ugly, but know that when you make a decision to show up as you, all of these things work together for your good. Everything does. That's a promise to you. So show up as you.
Speaker 2:Fake no more. Remove the saying fake it till you make it. Just make it. Make a decision to show up genuinely. Show up in integrity, show up in transparency. Show up as you. Let people see the real you, because it's you that they're going to love and what I found out for myself it's me that they love. I've said it. My relationships are so much better. You know why? Because I show up as me. I have a value system to where my family is the most important thing to me and my family. I have a great relationship with them, those who chose to be in a relationship with me because I show up authentically. And for those who chose not to be in a relationship with me, I'm good with it. Why? Because I show up authentically and I'm not going to alter who I am. To make them happy, I'm not going to alter who I am so their light could shine while I dim mine. That's just not going to happen, and every day I have to be very, every day. Fake no more. Show up as you Means that when you show up, that you speak what your thoughts really are, and someone may say, well, suppose my thoughts aren't that good. Okay, there's ways that you can speak exactly what you're thinking. I'm at a place in my life right now that when you meet me, you meet me, and sometimes that may mean the good, the bad and the ugly, and sometimes that may mean the good, the bad and the ugly.
Speaker 2:I had an incident one time and I'm so determined to show up as myself and I was speaking to one of my employees and I was so frustrated with them and this employee has been with me for years and so she knows me and I remember I was upset and I said, well, fine, we're just not going to do this, I just don't care. And I walked out the room and I slammed the door really hard Ooh bad. And I walked into my office and I sat down and I said like I just felt this conviction just came over me, like I just felt this conviction just came over me. I said how did you just show up to that employee? I just felt convicted because I was wrong. Showing up as you, showing up as me, meant that when I'm wrong, I go back and I make corrections, I course, correct, wrong, I go back and I make corrections, I course correct. And so I went back.
Speaker 2:Less than five minutes later, after I sat, I took some deep breaths, I calmed down and I said, ah, I felt that conviction and I walked back to her and I said forgive me, I had no right to slam the door, I had no right to express how I was feeling in the way that I was feeling in the way I did. That's showing up as me being so much, wanting to be in integrity that you would go and apologize and you would go and course correct. And when I said that to her, she looked at me and she smiled and she said it's okay. She said I know you. She said I know who you are. That meant so much to me because what that told me is, in the years of our relationship, that she has gotten to know me. She got to know the real me. So she knew that when I walked out, that that wasn't me. But she also knew that I would come back and apologize because she knew that was me.
Speaker 2:You want to show up so much in your authentic self. You want people to see who you are, that they know you, that if you do have a bad day, they'll say oh no, that's a bad day because that's not her, so don't fake it till you make it anymore. Remove that out of your vocabulary. Remove that out of your mind. Change your mindset and your thinking about that and say no, I will always be my authentic self. But here is the question who are you? Who is your authentic self? Discover that and then you can show up as you.
Speaker 1:Discover that and then you can show up as you. Your next step head on over to wwwesthergramcom and let me know what your favorite episode is, Ask a question or share this with a friend. I can't wait to be with you next week as we dive deeper into redefining what it means to be a Christian woman and redefining what it means to live in our truth.