Ep 43- PART 3 -Moms- Jamie English

Just in time for Mother’s Day, we’re wrapping up our 3-part mom series with the final episode — and this one is for every horse show mom, trainer mom, barn mom, and woman trying to raise tiny humans while still chasing big goals.

Ali sits down with Jamie English to talk about the real-life juggle of motherhood, marriage, horse training, showing, pregnancy, childcare, living quarters trailers, ponies, screen time, and raising kids inside the chaos of the horse show world.

Jamie shares what it was like having her son later in life, riding through pregnancy, returning to the saddle after a C-section, managing a training business with a toddler, and learning that kids don’t have to stop your life — they can become part of it.

From packing bubbles and must-have toys to finding good help, communicating with clients, making time for your marriage, and teaching kids to adapt, this episode is honest, funny, relatable, and full of real talk from women who are figuring it out one horse show at a time.

Because horse show kids? They’re just built different.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I have Jamie English here with me, and we are gonna talk about being moms and how for being in the force world and in the industry, showing you're a force trainer and all of the things. So let's just get right into it. And I mean, okay, so you got you were married, and then you guys were married for a little while first, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Got married in 2018, and then I had Jaden in 2022. So a few years, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

So you had there was like life before baby for sure and that's different. And then all of a sudden, you were like, were you guys planning to have kids?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Or yeah, I mean, we we both weren't getting any younger. So we said we'll try it for a couple years, and if it happens, it happens, and it did, and it's been fantastic, and he's been such an improvement in our life, like he really has.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Yeah, oh my gosh. Now, I know this like I hate to ask a woman, but how old are you? I am 40. Yeah, okay. Well, same.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

I was six when I had him, so yeah, I mean, not too old, but yeah. And then Jaden's Jason's 51. But but I'm glad that we did it that way because we're definitely more established in our life. We can kind of do the things we want to do and have a better understanding about it. So I think it's fair enough to say that it's a little easier on Jaden because you know, we can just make, you know, better decisions. Yeah. So yeah, I think it's been great. And we've had a long relationship before that. So we got to do a lot of things on our own. And then having him now has just made, you know, just things a lot actually a lot better, you know, because a lot of stress is lifted off of us because we can see that, you know, there's more to this, you know, and it's actually, I think, improved our business because it's taken that pressure off of it, you know. So it can be something to focus on and be not crazy about, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Right. Like well, like life in general, there's more to life than showing horses, right? Yeah. Even though I feel like a lot of us can get really consumed with that. You know, I know I'm myself the same. Like I had my daughter, she's seven now, but I had her later in life. And I think before that, it was easy for me to just be like, okay, when's an ex-horse show? I I I got to like do a lot of things before I had her. And then once I had her, I just kind of she fit into life. And I wasn't, I don't know, I was more concerned about my life with her than just me and what I was doing.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Absolutely. Yeah. And um, you know, before I had Ann, there was a gentleman that talked to me about it and he said, you know, you're gonna notice that this isn't everything, and it's gonna take a lot of pressure off of your horses, and things are just gonna kind of roll along a little better. It's gonna take some figuring out, like how to make it all work, but once you do, it just it just helps. It really does. It it it it it spreads the it out a little better as far as not being so it does. Yeah, you know, and that's I mean, it keeps us like in check, right? Like it definitely keeps you humble. It is because you know, when you get so consumed with the it's almost like you're in a whole different world and you don't realize that there are other things, and then when you do, it definitely helps things along, and it helps the now Jaden loves being around the horses, so it helps too.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Boys are a little bit easier with that kind of stuff because they want to be outside, they want to be dirty. That's fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yes, yes, absolutely, and it definitely helps because he can be outside all day and having him at the barn it it definitely helps things along.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Now, do you guys have do you have help with him during the day or how do you how do you manage? We do.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

I have a full-time babysitter nanny that me, they're here five or six days a week, and it it definitely helps. Like, you know, they come to my house in the morning and then she's here to the end of the day for work. I don't have anybody consistently to go to the horse shows, but I did just hire someone that can probably travel. So that's probably been our hardest thing is just getting someone to come to the horse shows. Yeah. But I have different people that help me with him, which is great because he has learned to adapt and kind of fit into someone else's personality and help, you know, as far as like how their program goes during the day. And I don't really ever say you have to do this with him, and it's helped him be able to adapt to situations and different personalities, and it's been really good.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

So yeah, to like to be able to go to other people, right? Because that is all like that's hard when they're around you all day, every day, and then you're like, okay, but I need help because I have to work. Yeah, you have to go with someone else.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

It is hard. Yeah, and you know, he's three, so as he gets older, you know, obviously he's gonna start going to school and stuff like that. And we'll have to figure that out as we go. But you know, whatever it is, you always figure it out, like it always works out. So, you know, there's always ways of doing things. So I was saying, yes, and like old, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Every stage is something new, and my I felt the same way. Like when she was in preschool, it was okay, and I could like take her out of school, we can go do things, and now that she's in a public school situation, it's hard, even in some company.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Yeah, yeah, it is. So then you make the decision, you know, like when you travel, do you leave them at home with family or do you let them stay with your babysitter? How do you do that? So, yeah, I mean, we'll we'll cross that bridge when we get there, but it always works out, you know, and usually but you you do always figure it out, you know, you and you have to because that's just what you have to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

So but uh it's even like like okay, so being pregnant, did you ride pretty much through your whole pregnancy? Or like did you I you're like this is my draw, so I have to ride.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

I mean, I rode all the way up to the point about four weeks before I had him. I showed five horses at the madness. So I think I did call Tally on one and I said, I don't think I can do it because this trot was just really big and it was it was wearing on me. And I said, I I don't think I can show this one. She's like, It's fine, Jamie. Do not stress, you know. But I did. I showed five horses there, and I would have kept riding. And Jason's like, just don't, though, it's fine. So he he stepped in really, really big. That's the year I had Super Freak, and he rode him all the middle of his two-year-old year, and then I finished up, you know, whenever I could start back riding. And then I wasn't even released back to ride fully. And they had the three the gold series for the George on my mind, and I end up showing one and one on the best be sleeping in. I'm like, so yeah, and then I didn't tell my doctor, and you know, so but you have to do what you gotta do, you know.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

I'll tell you what, you horse trainers, actually, us horse girls, all of us, we do the same thing. And I can't tell you, I know I just had talked to Sam Adderhold after she had her baby, and it was like two weeks after, and she's like, Yeah, I'm riding. And I'm like, Oh my god, I'm like, Yeah, chill now.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

She's like, What? Yeah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I had a c-section, so I couldn't be so hard-headed, you know, and I still probably pushed my limits, but it was fine. But yeah, we're we're a different breed, that's for sure. We gotta do what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

That's right. Now, in was the C now with having a C, so I had like an unregularity. I wasn't duped, but so with a C-section, did you feel like it took your like your core a longer time to get like back?

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Or did you feel like a little, but you know, I never slowed down before that in a great amount. Like, so I felt like whenever I started back, it wasn't too hard, but it's some, yeah. I mean, I think for a good two months I felt like a little weak in that area. Yeah. You know, and then riding, I really didn't feel any different. It might have been like, you know, trying to work out again or something like that. I felt a little weaker, but just because I hadn't done it. But no, I mean, it it didn't really inhibit me that bad. I know a lot of people struggle with it, but I think it's because I didn't slow down at all prior to that. Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Yeah, like you just kind of like kept your strength going, and you didn't change anything. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Now, did you ever like I my whole pregnancy was pretty easy and I almost thought about doing it again. I was like, you know what? I I don't think that's a good idea. Just because you know, this job's very pressing, and you know, so and and our son's pretty perfect, so you know, you have another one and telling what would happen. So I never know.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

I know it at one. You know what? And that's a I'm an only child, and I honestly I never wanted siblings. Like I was fine. I have friends that are like like siblings to me that I love in ways, you know. And my husband has multiple siblings, and he's always like, Oh, one more. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, I and I also at 40, I'm tired. Like I'm tired.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Yeah, exactly. I know, I know. I mean, you know, I I definitely don't feel my age, that's for sure. You know, and and he he being three, he's definitely starting to get wild. You know, he kind of started that in the middle of his two-year-old year and further on, but uh but yeah, I and you know, and like I said again, you know, with this job, it's very pressing for Jason and I. So, you know, if I lack in any way, it would start showing. So you can't, I don't think you can spread yourself too thin, you know, with this. I think you definitely have to have a a focus on both ends pretty heavy.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Yeah, that's smart. And that's you know, and I think that's just being smart with what you can handle, what you know your job needs from you, and what your child needs from you and your husband too.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

You know, you have to give to all of those things. Right, right, exactly. I mean, and it definitely, you know, not having him is harder, but it definitely makes you think about where your direction needs to be, you know, time, you know, planning your time and and all of that definitely becomes more important, which it was before, but it's just more now.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Yeah. Now, do you guys have like a living quarters trailer or how what do you guys do at the horse shows?

SPEAKER_00 10:22

We do the year he was born, we had a trailer made. We actually had a bunch of money saved up to put a cover over our outdoor arena. And instead we had to buy a truck and trailer. So yeah, so we have a living quarters and it just makes it a lot easier. So whenever I have whoever is helping me with him, you know, they have a place to go and he has all his stuff and he doesn't have to be at the barn all the time. So that has definitely helped. I would recommend that to anybody, whether it be a camper or a trailer, because it definitely makes it easier. I think so too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

We did that too in the beginning, and then this past year, since my daughter was older, I just we sold all we've like tried just the Airbnb in the hotel thing, and like yeah, it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Yeah, it's too hard. Yeah, it's it makes it way easier having something on the fairgrounds for sure. It does.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

That's what I at the Congress I bought a living quarters again, and I'm like, that's it, we're doing it, we're in. Like, I'm not no more of this hotel stuff.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

No, no, it's too hard. You can sleep longer and you have all your stuff there, and yeah, it just makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Yeah, yeah. And if they need a break, there's somewhere to go to get away from everybody.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

And you know, they're just like us, we definitely need a break, and and they do too. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Now, does he have a pony? He actually has two ponies.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

He has one that was a little spicy, so we had to get another one. But yes, he has ponies and they're great, but he actually would prefer to ride the big horses, like he he enjoys that more, and the faster the better. So yeah. Cool, yeah. He gets a little bored with just jogging around, so he actually likes to ride the hunt seaters with me. But yeah, he he would definitely like to ride the bigger horses better. But no, he has two ponies. That's so cool. So is he like a little daredevil? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, he actually got bucked off his pony that was a little spicy and learned that he could fall off, and he loved it. So yes, he yeah, and his daddy was a bull rider, so he definitely gets that probably from both of us. Wait a minute. Jason was a bull rider. Yeah, he did that for probably six or seven years. That is crazy. I know, I know, I know. And then I, you know, I did kind of the rodeo stuff too. I did regular roping and the barrel racing, and I said, I'll never marry a bull rider, there's no way. And come to find out, I did. So I mean you couldn't tell that about him now, but yeah, he he did it for a while in college, and then before that, and then a little after, he actually kept doing it up to the point where he worked for Michael Colvin. So my God. Yeah. So he gets that a little bit. I I had to work with him staying on and not thinking it was a great thing to jump off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

That's a nice thing.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

That was a learning jerk.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah. Well, my daughter's not like a super daredevil, so I'm actually grateful for that because that makes me so nervous. Like, if I had a boy, I'd be like, oh my God, we're gonna go to the hospital today.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Right. Yeah, because I do think that's that's a boy thing for sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

It is. So has there been any like crazy moments that you were like, oh my god, I don't know what to do when it came to like or do you have you ever felt like like you were talking a little bit of the pressure of being a horse trainer? And yeah, I mean, you have nice horses, you have like great clients, and yeah, you know, there is that I guess that pressure to be successful. And like, have you ever felt like you're giving too much to your work and not enough to your son?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I mean, I think as a mom, like you probably always I think I second guess doing enough for him just because I before him I didn't know kids. So I actually never touched one before him. So I always second guess what I need to do and I just figure it out as I go. Um, but no, I mean, with the help that I've had and the way that we kind of said that we were gonna do it to begin with, I don't think I ever felt like I was lacking on either end. Because, you know, like I maybe said I can't take as many horses this time, or I need to tell the clients I can't do this horse, or you know, just be honest on both ends because you don't want to not be able to give what you can, you know. And I've always rode a bunch of horses, so I'm used to that. So, and I have I have incredible help that work for us. So they have been able to, you know, ride the limited horses and take some horses that maybe needed to be fitted in a different area, and they've been able to do that. So I think I've always had that. So just planning and kind of prepping your customers just to say, this is how this is gonna go, and throughout the year, this is what we're gonna try to do, and just just being honest in planning ahead big, big uh big thing with that because you know everybody knows it's gonna be a little different, so you just have to plan for that, you know?

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Yeah, replanning, yeah, and communication for sure. Yes, for sure. I think that's I think so too. Now, what about for you and Jason? Do you guys like do you have like a monthly date night, or how do you guys like make sure you're paying attention to each other too?

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Sometimes that's struggles, yeah. But yeah, we make a point to, you know, say twice a month we go to our favorite restaurant in town and we that, or we'll have like a date night after J Jaden go to bed and we watch a movie, you know. Right now it's hunting season, so that doesn't happen. So, you know, but no, I I definitely think that's important because I think a lot of people struggle with that, not just being a horse trainer, I think in general, you know, you have to do that because I think they feel like you know, you're not giving them enough time, which I get that. So no, I think that's definitely important.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

And it is hard, you know. Like, I know sometimes at the end of the day, I am just like, I am like talked out, I'm touched out, all you know, and and then my husband's like needing my attention, and I'm like, I don't have it to give.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Like I just don't have it. It's funny that you say that because me and Blair Townsend were talking and Jaden grabbed me all day and Jason went to do something. I was like, just don't. And she's like, Oh my god, I totally get it. Yeah, I get it. Like, look, I've been touched all day. Like, just don't. Just give me an hour. Right? So yeah, I mean, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

It is, it's wild. Is it's really it, it's just sometimes it can be too much. Yeah. So does Jaden prefer you or Jason? Is he like a mama's boy or daddy's boy?

SPEAKER_00 17:04

He's a big mama's boy. Yeah, he he loves his mom. But you know, I think that'll change whenever like Jason can start going hunting with him and taking intuition and doing all the guy things. But no, right now he loves mommy. But Candy Perrett said that both of her boys have always been a mama's boy, so who knows? No, he definitely loves mom. So that is so cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Yeah, and it's like I feel like yeah, I feel like they do like change, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

I mean, he he really likes Jaden Jason too, so I can't, I don't know. I mean, but I hear he's a mama's boy. That's what I've been told.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

That's great. Like he's gonna be a good boyfriend and a good husband someday. I hope so. Yeah, that's right. That's right. I know. Like, I'm so nervous about social media stuff with these kids too, because like, you know, like okay, so we're the same age. Like, we didn't really grow up with that, you know. Yeah, I don't I I'm I'm like, I don't I don't want her to have a phone. I don't want her to be on social media and all this I know what she's born to, but I know.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

I mean, there's kind of no way around it, you know, just as far as safety reasons, them you know, staying in contact with you. But no, I don't let Jaden watch TV much. Like he'll maybe watch like Miss Rachel or something like that, but he doesn't stay with a screen on his face, that's for sure. I always keep him busy doing other things. I mean, obviously he's a boy, so he's outside a lot. But yeah, that's good. A little cautious about that because yeah, like you said, I didn't grow up with that either. So I do worry with it because I think I think it's a great thing, but I do it causes I think it causes some problems, you know, with self-esteem, you know, where they need to be or what everybody thinks it is. And yeah, we all know it can be a little fictitious, you know. Yeah, I'm gonna be a little cautious on it. I think just be smart about it.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Yeah, and even like okay, so you mentioned safety just in general. Like, did you do you guys do anything at the board shows to like make sure? Like, I don't know, like I got really worried at the Congress this year. My daughter did not come with me this year. Okay, but I saw like the air tags that people were putting in people's trucks and like following them and stuff, and I was like, thank God she's not coming with me because that stuff scares me. It is with these little cans.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yeah. So keeping up with him, I mean, he was with us the whole time, but I have an insert and issue that I keep up with for an air tag, and then he has like it's a watch that goes on his wrist that I air tag. But yeah, I mean, I I did. I tracked him. I want him too. So definitely have to be careful, I think, especially nowadays. It's just crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Okay, so for anybody who is like pregnant or going to be having kids and they still want to be horse showing, do you have any like like things that you they should buy or things that they should definitely pack and bring with them to horse shows?

SPEAKER_00 19:57

I didn't have anything specific, but as far as still wearing your jeans and riding, I did a I did a hair tie on my button and my jeans and I got senders for your jeans. My problem, I was having my zipper not stay up. So I did my redneck engineering and put a zip tie on the hair tie to hold it. Going to the bathroom was challenging, but definitely a hair tie on the pants was a big thing. Good idea. And I pulled out my old low rise jeans, so I had like the beer gut thing going on. But uh no, you know, I didn't really I wore just big t-shirts, like kind of boycott, comfortable t-shirts, but nothing real big. Like, you know, I I know a lot of people like wear like the belly supporters. I don't think I got that big that I needed that, but I do think, you know, if you are gonna be riding, I think maybe a support on your belly, like some of the the jeans have that in it or whatnot. But yeah, I mean, those things are a mess. Yeah with the zip tie.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

That was so funny. Oh my god. I love that. That I remember somebody told me about that too. I remember early on, and I I think I tried, I don't remember, but I think I did try it. And then I got they made jeans that were like stretchy on the top, and I got those. I got like a two pairs of those to ride in, and like fine. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

I wore any of those, but I just kept with my jeans and did the zip tie with the hair tie, and it worked really good. That's awesome. Oh my gosh. So you do what what you have to and what works.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. What about like what do you guys pack with you in the trailer now? Like, is there anything that like you can't leave home without?

SPEAKER_00 21:43

I mean, you definitely have the must toys that you know. I think I have two of everything toys that that he has to have. He has um a big fat corgi that he has to have, and then he has a cow that he rides, so that comes. Yeah. Bubbles we call it. Bubbles. Oh, that's very nice. Yeah, gotta have the bubbles. Anything that doesn't loves. But yeah, I mean, other than that, no, I mean, I just kind of make him find something to do. Yeah. Yeah. So that is good.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

And then wait, I was gonna ask you something else about that. About stuff that you bring. Oh, what about naps?

SPEAKER_00 22:20

How do you guys does he still nap? He does not nap. And then if he naps, he wakes up in a really bad mood. So I'm kind of glad he doesn't nap anymore. But no, no napping. And he even like we get if we have to leave early in the morning, go to a horse show, he'll stay up because he doesn't want to miss anything. He's definitely wants to be involved in everything. So when we were napping, the the horse trailer was a must. Like he would get back and nap. That's when he was younger. So yeah, not not so much anymore. We did have a big radio flyer wagon that we brought. Yeah. And he would take naps in that. Like I would have whoever was helping me just take the wagon and go for a ride. Walk. Yeah. Drag him around and he would nap. So yeah, wagons are a must, I think.

unknown 23:05

That's a good point.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

That is a good one.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Oh well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

It's just like getting a two-year-old like horseback, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Just like take him out, make him see the sights, get it figured out. Getting him acclimated to all things, you know, and like going to dinner, you know, I don't put a phone in front of his face. So he has to learn to adapt to that. And it took a little bit, but he did it. So he does it now. So yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Do what you have to do. Well, I was that mom that I was like, I'm not gonna do the screens, I'm not gonna do the phone. And then I don't know, probably after two years of it, I was like, take my phone. I was like, oh my god. But I will say, like, I got myself in trouble with it because then we would go to dinner and she couldn't function without watching it. And then I would then I was you know in a predicament where I'm taking it away and she's having a meltdown in a public place. But I mean, we we got away from it, but it's still like every once in a while, I'll be like, I'll just have to take it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Well, sometimes you just have to.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Yeah. Well, and I did I started a bad habit, you know.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

And then we all do, we all do, and especially me not knowing much about children until I got mine. So it's a learning thing. You do it, we all mess up, and you have to fix it, but that's just part of it.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

So it totally is. Yeah, it totally is. Well, I think you guys do a really great job, and I give you so much credit for like running a business and running a three-year-old, and you know, it's just again, I wanted to let other moms hear how you guys do it with having a training business. So it seems to me like your key takeaways are to find good help if you can afford it. Absolutely. And you know, and just kind of like making sure the kid, your kid goes with the flow and just like kind of like you would with a horse.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, getting them acclimated and definitely don't say I can't go there because I have Jaden. You say, okay, we're gonna go and we have to just figure it out. You know, I mean, because there's sometimes there's late nights and you know, he's gotta do that. There's things I don't want to do, and sometimes he's gotta do it, you know, because that's just life, you know. And I never wanted to be that mom where I stopped living. So I wanted to be that mom where he fits my life, you know, and when we have to go somewhere, he goes. I mean, every time I leave, he goes with me, you know. So he definitely gets acclimated to a lot of things. So I love that. Definitely suggest that because if they're not acclimated to stuff, and then when they get older and going to school, I feel like it's a little harder on them. You know, he's not starting school yet, but I just want him to be ready for that. So, and I think definitely horse show kids are different because they are around so much stuff and there's different hours, and you're traveling, and yeah, it definitely makes them a different character, different breed.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

And I will tell you, my daughter has so much confidence with other kids and adults from the horseshoe world, and I think that's really cool. Like, she's really it's she's comfortable to go up to somebody and be like, hey, I need help, or you know what our bob is, you know, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Yeah, I mean, but that's just life lessons, you know. And I do I I think they learned that a little quicker. So I was fortunate for that.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

So yeah, I do too. Awesome. Well, I'm gonna let you get back to him also and the rest of your day because this is awesome. Thank you. And yeah, that's it.