Fortitude: Turning Tragedy into Action
A podcast by the Parent Action Network (PAN), a division of Smart Approaches to Marijuana (SAM), dedicated to amplifying the voices of parents whose lives have been devastated by the harmful effects of marijuana. Each episode features personal interviews with parents sharing their heart-wrenching stories of loss, addiction, and the impact on their families. Through these powerful narratives, PAN aims to educate, inspire, and mobilize listeners to take action against the widespread dangers of marijuana use.
Fortitude: Turning Tragedy into Action
Marti Roveda-Georgia-A Georgia Mom's Journey from Pain to Purpose
When Marty Raveda woke to the unmistakable smell of marijuana permeating her home, she never imagined this moment would transform her life's purpose. Her 16-year-old son's addiction to high-potency THC products catapulted her into an unfamiliar world of treatment programs, relapses, and eventually, the agonizing decision to present him with an ultimatum: accept long-term treatment or leave home with nothing but a bag of clothes.
Throughout her family's journey, Marty discovered a critical gap in support for parents navigating adolescent substance use disorders. This realization sparked her transformation from corporate professional to certified peer recovery specialist and parent coach. She founded an online support community that's grown to over 100 members, creating a safe space where parents can break through the isolation and shame that so often accompanies addiction.
What distinguishes Marty's story is her evolution into a powerful advocate for other parents and family members. As a Board member for Georgians for Responsible Marijuana Policy, she continues advocacy efforts in her state encouraging our leaders to enact better drug policies that prioritize public health and safety over profits. "If you continue to do this," she warns those promoting high-potency products, "you're not going to have a workforce."
Marty's message resonates with painful clarity: today's high-potency THC isn't "just weed"—it's destroying young lives while families suffer in silence. Her story embodies the essence of fortitude—facing adversity with courage and strength—while offering hope to parents facing similar struggles. Whether you're concerned about marijuana legalization, supporting a loved one with substance use issues, or seeking resources for recovery, Marty's insights provide a roadmap for advocacy and healing.
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Good evening. This is Chrissy Groenwegen, Director of the Parent Action Network, and we're back for another episode of the Fortitude Podcast. I always like to begin by reminding our listeners why I gave this podcast the name Fortitude and, after working for almost two and a half years now with really incredible, resilient, unbelievable families, I couldn't think of a better name to describe these families in a word, because I looked up the meaning. And fortitude means facing grief and adversity with courage and strength. And, and again, what better word to signify the amazing parents that have stepped up to tell their stories, bravely raise their voices and participate in all different types of opportunities for advocacy in spreading the message about the harms of today's high-potency THC products.
Speaker 2:So with that, I'd like to introduce tonight's guest, Marty Raveda. She's from Georgia and she's another mom with a story who has taken her particular tragedy and turned it into real advocacy and the motivation and the will to help so many other families. She is a peer support, advocate and recovery professional. She spends all her time helping others and when Bronwyn and I listened to Marty's story, we were just so impressed by all she has done and all she's willing to continue to do, even with everything that she's faced. So again I'd like to welcome you, Marty. Thank you so much for being with us tonight.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Chrissy, for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:And we're going to jump right in. So, as always, I like to start by hearing a little bit about what life was like before marijuana and other drugs became a factor in your life, and we particularly like to talk a little bit about what your stance was on marijuana legalization, because many people came from the same mindset that marijuana was harmless, right. So we were more concerned about other drugs. So that's changing over the years, of course, but, like I said, I'd like to start by hearing your story and what your feelings were on substances and how this ended up evolving in your life.
Speaker 1:All right. So our story started. Our journey started when our son was 16 years old, heading into his junior year of high school, and woke up in the middle of the night and just something seemed off. So I woke up and started down the stairs and was hit in the face with the smell of weed just throughout my whole main floor. And our son was there hanging out with a friend that was supposed to be spending the night and they were getting high on the flour. And then I also remember seeing what looked like they were trying a phone charger but they had split the wires and it looked like after, after learning more, probably trying to charge a THC vape is what it appeared.
Speaker 1:So that was when we noted that there's probably, you know, somewhat of an issue, and so we put down the law, the parental laws, of you're not going to do this, you're not going to do that, You're not going to see this person. You know this is how your world's going to be. It's going to be a prison until you're better. And a couple of weeks later we thought that everything was maybe in the right direction and a friend came to us and said that let us know that he's getting high in the bathrooms at school and it seems to be an extreme issue. So that's the journey of getting him into a recovery program. We were fortunate enough to know someone fortunately or unfortunately, to know someone who had already gone down this path. So we had that resource and so we took him directly to a local enthusiastic sobriety program and got him started on his recovery journey. His true recovery journey didn't really. It was, you know, a roller coaster, but he was in that program, got kicked out. It was a roller coaster up and downs of relapses. I went into an inpatient program for three months and from that point, as far as I know, he's been sober ever since.
Speaker 1:But what you know, this summer, before this happened, I noted, you know, signs of depression and anxiety and it really built over up about a six month period. I noted, you know, red eyes and got the explanation that that you know, the chlorine was really high in that pool. The chlorine was really high in that pool and it just seemed like every pool he swam in was full of chlorine horrible chlorine hanging out with new people that I had not met and a whole new group of friends. I mean, you name it, you get the laundry list of, um, the things to to look for, and, uh, I I saw, I noted them, but just it just didn't hit me. Um, so, yeah, so we were at that point. Um, up to that point though, you know, I thought everything was great.
Speaker 1:We're a small family of three. We are very close, um, my, my husband adopted John when he was seven, about a year after we got married, and we were just three peas in a pod. We worked, we moved around a bit, but we spent. You know, if we weren't working and going to school, we were usually together, you know, supporting him in his soccer travel. Soccer, that was him, that's him and his dad's love language, going to church, going to dinner together. I mean, we spent. It just seemed like everything was in the right place self-esteem and some trauma from, you know, the loss of not having a relationship with his birth father. So that's kind of where it gets started and kind of the background of where things may have led up to it.
Speaker 1:And then, when it comes to our stance, or my stance on marijuana, I had no idea really what high potency THC was. I knew what the flower was, you know, I was aware of it. I didn't particularly care for the smell of it. We lived in an apartment when we were in New Hampshire and there were neighbors that used it regularly and I was just like, ooh, I just can't stand it, I didn't want to be around it. But I didn't hold other people, I didn't judge other people for using it, I just didn't want to be around it. So so you know, I didn't have any judgments on it, I just made the choice that that wasn't something I wanted to be around, nor I didn't have my son around.
Speaker 2:Right, and of course, your son was in high school at the time and a minor, technically right. So if they're using, I mean we think of this. I think all families and most parents and most teenagers go through rites of passage and experimentation is a part of teenage life. And of course, I think so many of us have experienced drinking and all the stuff you go through before prom and homecoming, dances and everything and all the no drinking and if you're caught, and then all of a sudden, even cigarettes to some extent were an issue in the vaping thing, but then for marijuana to become this issue, that was almost bigger than all of those issues. And regardless you smell it, you're like, all right, well, he probably tried it, maybe it's not so bad.
Speaker 2:But also, we don't expect all the mental health outcomes and, like you mentioned, anxiety and depression and some differing signs about six months before this time where you caught it in the house and smelled it and everything. But technically, while, yes, some trauma from, maybe your marital breakup and the lack of a relationship with his blood dad, still not really an intense mental health deficit in the background or in the family, right, so where did that come from? Right? And then you know, a lot of the time when we go to get help for our kids, we hear, oh well, there's must be some underlying mental health problem and no, it's kind of the other way around. Now, you know, I think that's come out a lot more.
Speaker 2:I also think something that was really empowering about your story right from the beginning is that so many times, so many parents just don't know what's happening and don't know what to do and struggle to act or know how to act. But you were on it. I remember you telling us when we interviewed you originally, that you were just on top of this right away and that was it, and and maybe because you had the resources I'm sure it has a lot to do with, uh, your parenting style, but you acted right away, which gave him a little more and and not to say anything negative about any family, of course that that's not the point but it gave him a little bit more of a fighting chance.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, I saw the struggle, I saw the pain, I saw the sadness, and you know I had taken him to a therapist for a few visits and she's like you know, he's just experimenting, he's a good kid I'm you know he's just experimenting, he's a good kid. I'm like, well, I know he's a good kid, um, but you know, I, watching what had developed over the summer, and then this hitting us in the face like it did, I knew that it was, it was an issue and I I would lay myself across train tracks for my son, um, and if his mental and physical health was at at in jeopardy, uh, that's what I was going to take action and get him the help that he needed.
Speaker 2:And when you brought him from the help for the help that you needed were were the professionals open to the idea that this was just marijuana? Did you get confirmation of that or did you face any aversion where that was concerned?
Speaker 1:um well, they definitely. So we took him and they spent um a full afternoon with him and got to know him, got to get him to open up and you know come to find out it was a little bit of everything you know and they said you know he's definitely has addict tendencies. There's definitely an issue here and you know come to find out there was. There was a lot more to it than just the marijuana. But if, when at that point, his drug of choice was definitely high potency THC and using to the extent where you know he was using by himself, um, which is, you know, alarming and just he would do anything to to get high, yeah, I also think another aspect of your story is that, while he had the addictive tendencies, he did not experience psychosis correct?
Speaker 1:That is correct, and I think part of it was because we jumped in as quickly as possible to deter. Did we stop the use? No, Did it deter it a bit? Yes, but some of the things that he had done like there was one time that he was heading out and you know, looking back at it, I'm pretty sure he was heading out to get his his fix Right and he literally picked me up and set me aside and to get me out of the way and that's just not my. That wasn't, that was not my son. That was the addict going to get his fix and I wholeheartedly believe that it would have definitely gone down that path if we had not addressed it sooner than later.
Speaker 2:And in discussing it with him, he completely agrees. Yeah, that's really amazing. And again, this journey takes each family somewhere else. And while we hear all these stories of cannabis-induced psychosis, there also is just plain and simple cannabis use disorder where you still can't stop. You're going to go through withdrawal, you might not have become psychotic. It's still a problem with this product and that's an important message to get out to our legislators, to get out to the public, to get out to everyone that, yes, a lot of people are experiencing cannabis-induced psychosis. A lot of people are experiencing physical effects Many are suffering from. We know that the rates of cannabis use disorder plain and simple marijuana addiction are growing because of legalization, and so there's all different ways this manifests, and this is just another one of those stories where psychosis didn't have a chance to set in, thank God, because of a parent acting quick enough and getting help for their son. So thank you so much for clarifying that for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it really. He was at the point where his brain definitely had been altered from the amount of use.
Speaker 2:Yes, altered from the, from the amount of use. Yes, right, right, and he was open to help and is still open to help.
Speaker 1:No, he wasn't, um, he went along. He went along with the program just to keep, say, just to stay, just so that he would have a roof over his head and get what he, to continue to live the life that he wanted to live. Um, what, what? Actually? What ended up happening was um, he went into he. We were in the program for six months. He went into a 45 day inpatient program, maintained sobriety for a little bit, um.
Speaker 1:Once he got back, I would say by February I think, he was back to increasing use again. Um, ultimately, um, uh, so this. So he started at the beginning of school year. Um, went to inpatient, got back at Thanksgiving, went to inpatient, got back at Thanksgiving, noted that he probably started using again back in January. And then by March he was kicked out by the local enthusiastic sobriety program. And at that point, that's where he was put in the position of making the choice of accepting help or not no-transcript, nothing else, no phone, no money, no ID, no, nothing, a bag of clothes and go figure it out or accept going into a long-term treatment for at least 90 days. And so, uh, look, I'm very grateful he made that choice. Was I confident that he would, absolutely not. I was scared to death, but I could not continue to watch him slowly kill himself.
Speaker 2:And it's very hard for us to do the tough love thing, you know, and put your kid out on the street. I've been there under other circumstances, so many of these families have been there and, yeah, that's the hardest thing for any parent to have to do is put your kid out and be caught in that struggle, but also have to protect yourself, you know, say that it's for I.
Speaker 1:you know it's a personal choice on whether you do that or not. It doesn't work for everyone, but I had, I had, we had done so many things to try to influence him to make that right decision and we could no longer influence him to make that right decision and we could no longer um, there was nothing else with that. We were at our the end of our our rope. There was really not. We didn't have any other choices for us at that time. Um, and not allowing him the comforts of home.
Speaker 1:And the interesting thing that I learned was that he had burned so many bridges himself through this recovery, through his addiction, that he knew he had no one and he didn't have us. Now, I think if he thought that he had others who were willing to continue to enable him, then he probably would have said give me the bag, I'm gone. But he had done so much damage to so many relationships that he knew he didn't have really any other option and he liked sleeping in a warm bed and having, you know, some basic comforts. And I think he realized that he was. He had to make that choice.
Speaker 2:Right, right, it's really something. What I really love to talk about is because I think people can hear that you are a strong person and you stood up for yourself and made him make choices and I like that you use that phrase that you put the ball in his court, that he had to make that choice, and I think that's something that you use in your professional and volunteer work now with what you do, and I really love to talk about that because I was so impressed and empowered by what you do, and I really love to talk about that because I was so impressed and empowered by what you do. And something that we do at PAN is share our resources. Right, we want to give parents every resource they have and every fighting chance they have for finding the right resources and the right people to speak with and the right roads to recovery, and we know that everybody has their own path to recovery, and so the work you're doing now is just so inspiring because you've really you're like us at PAN.
Speaker 2:Right, we do this for you. We do this for the families. We don't do this for ourselves, but it gives us a sense of meaning in our lives, like for me, it doesn't matter when I'm old enough to retire. I want to keep working and working with these families because it matters so much to me and they mean so much to me, and I'm not going to stop, and you just reminded me of myself in so many ways, but I am just so in awe of what you're doing and I think you're going to be a wonderful resource also for so many of our families. So I'd really like to talk a little bit about what you're doing in your role as a peer recovery advocate and how that works. Works, because I'm going to be passing your name around, I'm sure, to so many families in our network.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. I guess I'll just share how I came to this, just out of pure passion. Our local enthusiastic sobriety program had a parent group and they were my life, they were my lifesavers. They practiced a 12 step program. They had a parent, specific parent 12 step program and I didn't, you know, grasp on it immediately. But you know, somebody tells me something that's going to make things better. I'm going to sure as heck give it a good try. And so I found a sponsor, um, I found a person who had the this peace and serenity that I so desperately wanted, and so um grabbed onto her, started working my 12 step, and she remains my sponsor and very best friend, one of my very best friends up to this day.
Speaker 1:Um, I, I did that and I just kept working on that and I kept um, I started being a sponsor myself, giving back and just helping shine the light on the path for others, and it just was such a life transforming experience for me. I am a completely different person today than I was then, and so just being a service is has always been part of who I am. But just helping parents on this journey has just become an extreme passion, and so I wanted to bring that community to the inpatient program that my son attended. So I offered to start an online, because parents for that program are all over the US and so I wanted to bring a place where we could all build a community for the parents who are going through that experience. And so I started that program a couple of years ago and we've gone from. You know, our first meeting maybe had five parents on it, and here we are, two years later. We have a regular attendance of about 20 to 24 parents per meeting and we meet on a weekly basis and we have about 100 people on our private Facebook group where we share resources and community.
Speaker 1:And so I've been doing that for a few years and then a year ago I was like this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to work for corporate America. I, this, I, and I was spending so much time at a volunteer level. I was just like this is what I'm going to do. So I went through the process of getting credentialed as a certified peer specialist parent peer specialist with the state of Georgia and then credentialed through the Partnership to End Addiction, and so I got my coaching certification through them. And then I also received an evidence based coaching credentials through the Jaya Institute for Parenting on parent transformation and working on ourselves and healing ourselves so that we can be healthier people. We can show up in a healthier way for our youth that are struggling, and so we can, you know. So we're no longer struggling with ourselves, we can be a person of support for our loved one, right.
Speaker 2:Is the group you lead still open to others?
Speaker 1:It is not, it's only for parents. For that program I have been considering, through my coaching, which is equanimity parent coaching, I am considering starting some online parent support groups maybe you know, on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, right.
Speaker 2:Well, when you do that and you're ready, please let us know, because you know we'll add that in our newsletter and have that resource up on our webpage so we link your journey so that we can share it with others. So how did you come to be aware of PAN, and were there any of these other marijuana focused agencies that helped you in your journey?
Speaker 1:and I have been since this started. I've been educating myself and um, you know, people on facebook uh, collect friends. I collect um advocacy groups um to fight the scourge of this product amongst our, our, our, youth. So, um, I I found you on on um social media and have been following for for quite a while and just quietly sitting behind and listening and learning and sharing that information with anyone and everyone that would listen to help educate parents um to the detriments of the this product on on our children's brains. So, um, yeah, so it's through social media, um and as, and then I've you know, uh, I think it may have been through social media, but it was also through, I believe, laura Stack's group as well. Yeah, so I mean, like I said, I've been collecting groups that you know support advocacy for limiting access to these products for underage people.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, yeah, actually, I think, now that you said that, I think, if I remember, yeah, Actually, I think, now that you said that, I think, if I remember, I want to speak out to legislators. Well then Laura says, well, you need to talk to my friend Chrissy at PAN, and that's how it happened, because she made one of our introductory emails. And then we go through the process, Bronwyn PAN's coordinator and I. We then reach out to the parent, we organize our Zoom, we hear your story, discuss levels of advocacy and build on that relationship from there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I've built over, I've become more interested in advocacy, I guess, as I've moved from not just helping parents but you know, I think that all that kind of came at the same time, where I'm just ready to get out there and help in any way I can. And, yeah, so I, you know I connected with you all. I just recently joined the board for georgians for responsible marijuana policy. Yeah, and um, I've been testifying for them, with them, for over the last year and it is just so, um, I'm just so grateful for the opportunity to be able to share our journey and the impact of this product on our, on our family and those that I, I work with. And when I go, when I testified, it's just so interesting how the committee members will come up to me and say I'm touched by it and it's just like everybody's touched by it. There's, there's, there's I, there's no one in this world, I would think, that has not been impacted by the impact of this disease.
Speaker 2:Right and and for our listeners. So we have already mentioned Georgians for a responsible marijuana policy. They're a huge partner. We love Michael Mumford, their director, and we have introduced Michael and parents to each other, and so there's quite a few of our Georgia parents that are working with GRMP and we've also had some newer Georgia parents that we've actually connected with Marty because we think that Marty can help them. So that's what this is all about and it's really just a beautiful thing and we are actually so proud I'm kind of a little jealous that Marty is on the board of GRMP. So that's wonderful. I wish I could be on every board, but I can't. You know, this is a full-time job in itself and I'm still on three boards. But yeah, it's a. Grmp is a great for Georgia listeners. It is a great agency to be involved with, or nonprofit to be involved with, in this work fighting this industry, this marijuana industry, because it is just a monster.
Speaker 1:It is, it is and every voice counts, and we cannot influence change if we do not open up and share our stories and eliminate the shame that surrounds us.
Speaker 2:And I normally ask parents, but I think Marty's answered that in so many ways what has helped you move forward? And clearly just devoting yourself to this and the passion you have has helped you and, I think, helped all of us by having you do this in moving forward in your journey. And if there's anything else that's helped you, please share it with us.
Speaker 1:Just connection. Really, I think that's one of the main things that I want everyone to know. You know so many parents sit in shame and hide in the corners because they don't have the Facebook family anymore they have. You know, they have someone with this disease and it's like are you going to sit, are you going to do that if your child had a cancer? No, you're not. You're going to fight for your kid and people are going to bring you casseroles and we're all going to gather and fight for your child's life. So it's get out and connect because, as I said, it's everyone is impacted. Everyone is impacted and if you're not directly impacted, you're indirectly by some. You know someone very close to you and we need to start being open and honest and talking about it. Um, because it will about it, because it will multiply and get even worse. And so we have to shine the light on the impact of high-potency THC on our children's brains, and so we have to stay connected, we have to gather together and we have to build community around eliminating this.
Speaker 1:It's interesting, as I was in testimony earlier this year and this gentleman said you know, we have to pass legislation to allow for some form of either I believe it was possibly an increase in the potency of medical marijuana or something like that and he said you know, jobs rely on this.
Speaker 1:People's employment relies on this. And I, I was just I, it just was dumbfounded and like I just wanted to go and shake him and say, sir, if you continue to do this, you're not going to have a workforce. If you continue to do this, you're not going to have a workforce, you know, um? So yeah, I could talk all day on this, but I guess that that what I would like to close with is there's no shame in in going in, in addressing this, uh, and addressing a child's use of high potency THC, um, more than it's not, um, benign and it's killing our youth um, very quickly. It's an epidemic beyond all proportions and we we just need to take care of it, we need to deal with it and we need to start talking openly and honestly about it and um, and get over the fact that it's just weed man, because it isn't right.
Speaker 2:It is not right.
Speaker 2:That is a wonderful message to leave our listeners with and again, we appreciate you so much, marty, and I thank you so much for your time and, as I said, we will be sending parents your way and we're hoping that you will join us in February for our Hill Day in DC, and as soon as we have information about that, it'll be out there. And, as Marty said, we're just going to keep fighting this fight. It's just mind boggling that our leaders can continue to ignore these stories. So that is why it is so important for parents to, in any way possible, at any level of their comfort, because there are so many ways to advocate without exposing your loved one, still protecting their safety. In fact, april's newsletter we just featured a beautiful story by a family, a mother and daughter, who talk about exactly that that they will not stop advocating, but they can still do it and protect their son's privacy. And you can do that by coming to the Hill with us.
Speaker 2:That's a big one, because while you're telling your story and using your name, it's not leaving the office, and for me it's hard to imagine any legislator listening to any one of these parents behind closed doors and just forgetting it like it means nothing. That would be a very bad person, you know. So it's. We really just have to keep raising our voices, collectively and individually. Again, I am always so proud of each and every family member that steps up and does this, and we're just here to give you that voice, help you have that courage and those tools. So thank you, marty, for everything you're doing, and we wish your son luck and we hope that he continues on a path to recovery and wellness.
Speaker 1:And you just yeah well, chrissy, I will share that. I do this with, after asking many, many, many, many times for his blessing and sharing our journey and his story, he said you don't have to ask anymore. Go fight the fight. I'm behind you 100 percent and if you need me to speak, I will. And he actually did. We actually did a family interview recording of our journey and all three of us Right With JRMP yes.
Speaker 2:Is that or?
Speaker 1:soon. I'm not sure when it's going to be available, but as soon as it is, I'll definitely share it with you all.
Speaker 2:Fantastic and, of course, we would love to have him share with us at some point any point. Even come to Capitol Hill with us. We're looking to build the children of our parents who are here and part of PAN. That is always welcome and we look forward to that journey with them. And we are here to support not just our parents but their children who are willing to step up, and that's a really brave and important thing, and there's more and more of them that are coming forward. So it's really a beautiful thing and again, we thank him for being brave enough to give you the permission to do this. I feel like you'd probably do it anyway, but I think it's wonderful that you have his support and you need to send him our thanks and let him know we're proud of him for that. So thank you for better regulations in states where we can't put these worms back in the can and, most of all, for the power of community support in addressing the challenges posed by today's high-potency THC products. This is just something we have to keep doing and please keep tuning in for our future episodes of Fortitude and if you're interested in being on the Fortitude podcast, if you're already a member of PAN, then you know how to reach out to me and let me know. I have a running list and I'm open to anyone who I haven't reached out to yet. I have no particular order of doing this. And if you are not part of PAN and you're interested in being on the podcast and advocating with us, well then please reach out to me at Chrissy. It's C-R-I-S-S-Y at learnaboutsamorg, or you can reach out to us at pan at learnaboutsamorg and that's P-A-N at learnaboutsamorg.
Speaker 2:And again, we produce a monthly newsletter. Mays will be coming out soon enough, but please, if you haven't seen April's yet, please don't miss that featured article and all the other resources included in that April newsletter. We have an upcoming webinar in May. We haven't sent out the information on it yet because we have something very special in the works. A lot of our families are always looking for resources for treatment and there's a lot of roadblocks when it comes to insurance and how to get treatment for these kind of marijuana-related disorders treated and paid for by insurance. So we're trying to address that topic. So please stay tuned for that. And again, thank you, Marty, for being here. We really appreciate you and thank you for having me again. Just, we need to keep fighting this. Fight together, because together we are making a difference. So thank you.
Speaker 1:Yes, we are Thank you? Yes, we are Thank you.