Fortitude: Turning Tragedy into Action
A podcast by the Parent Action Network (PAN), a division of Smart Approaches to Marijuana (SAM), dedicated to amplifying the voices of parents whose lives have been devastated by the harmful effects of marijuana. Each episode features personal interviews with parents sharing their heart-wrenching stories of loss, addiction, and the impact on their families. Through these powerful narratives, PAN aims to educate, inspire, and mobilize listeners to take action against the widespread dangers of marijuana use.
Fortitude: Turning Tragedy into Action
Marijuana Mayhem: A Colorado Mom's Battle Against an Addiction For Profit Industry
"From Colorado Crisis to Advocacy: How THC Almost Destroyed A Family and How One Tough Mom is Fighting Back
When high-potency marijuana legalization swept into Pueblo, Colorado in 2014, physical therapist Aubree Adams never imagined her family would become ground zero for the devastating consequences. In this raw, emotional conversation, Aubrey reveals how "dabs" – concentrated THC products marketed as medicine – triggered psychosis, paranoia, and suicidal behavior in her teenage son, sending the family into a years-long nightmare.
Aubree takes us through the heartbreaking journey of watching her bright, adventurous Boy Scout transform into someone unrecognizable – cycling between recovery and terrifying psychotic episodes that treatment centers in Colorado either couldn't understand or wouldn't acknowledge. The crisis ultimately separated her family, drained their finances, and forced Aubree to walk away from a 20-year career she loved to manage the chaos at home.
What makes this story especially powerful is Aubree's transformation from a desperate , angry mother to the founder of Every Brain Matters, a national non-profit providing both recovery support and advocacy resources for families impacted by marijuana. She candidly discusses the challenges of speaking truth in a climate where marijuana harms are minimized, including facing harassment and threats from industry supporters. Yet through it all, she's built resilience and created pathways for other families to find healing.
The episode concludes with hope as Aubree shares her family's ongoing recovery journey – her son now three years sober, her husband returning to wellness after his own marijuana struggles, and her younger son becoming a powerful advocate despite his PTSD from the family trauma. For anyone concerned about today's potent marijuana products, skeptical of industry claims that "nobody dies from marijuana," or currently watching a loved one struggle with cannabis use, this conversation offers both validation and practical resources for finding support.
Join us for this deeply moving testament to a mother's love, the power of recovery, and the critical importance of honest education about marijuana's neurological impacts. Visit EveryBrainMatters.org to learn more about recovery meetings, advocacy opportunities, or to share your own family's story.
Follow PAN and SAM:
PAN:
https://parentaction.network/
https://x.com/parentactionSAM
https://www.facebook.com/parentactionnetworkSAM
SAM:
https://learnaboutsam.org/
https://x.com/learnaboutsam
https://www.facebook.com/learnaboutsam
Greetings listeners. This is Chrissy Groenwegen, director of Parent Action Network, and we're back for another episode of the Fortitude Podcast Today. I am so excited to have a very special guest with me Today. I am so excited to have a very special guest with me. She has literally been grace, for that matter, in the face of grief and adversity and turning her tragedy and her story into an opportunity for advocacy.
Speaker 2:So I would like to introduce Aubrey Adams. She is a Colorado mom, spent some time in Texas and we're just going to get right into it and hear Aubrey's story and, like I usually say, we like to know a bit about the past and what life was like before this became a factor in your life. But with Aubrey being a Colorado resident, we're going to go back even a little further and talk about. You know what it was like living in Colorado, where this product was always there, and then what happened in her story. So, aubrey, thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy to have you and I'm just going to turn it over to you much for being here.
Speaker 1:I'm so happy to have you and I'm just going to turn it over to you. Oh, thanks, Chrissy, for that wonderful introduction. I feel honored to be here. I admire your work too. It's been great getting to know you these past few years and partnering with you and working together to try to support the families and raise their voices together. So thank you for inviting me on your podcast and all those wonderful words you said about me.
Speaker 1:Yes, I am Aubrey Adams. I am from like ground zero of the marijuana expansion movement, pueblo, colorado, and I can tell you, prior to marijuana legalization here in Colorado, marijuana wasn't even a topic of conversation. We never smelt it, we were never exposed to it. We were just a normal family raising two sons. We did a lot of scouting, we did a lot of camping and hiking, we were involved with our kids' schools and sports and you know we were having fun. You know, honestly, we were working hard to pay the bills, but we were also having a lot of fun too.
Speaker 2:Wow, and, aubrey, tell us what did you do for a living? Because I think that's, you know, important in itself.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah. I loved my career. I had a great career. I'm a physical therapy assistant and I actually decided I would go back to school to bridge to a doctor of physical therapy. So when legalization happened, I was actually finishing up a bachelor's degree. I have a degree in exercise science and health promotion and nobody laughed about that. That's amazing. Well, thank you, but I've gained a lot of weight these past few years because of the stress, but I'm working on it you know, give me some time.
Speaker 1:But yeah, and I specialized in pelvic floor dysfunctions and chronic pain, so I treated chronic pain without medications, just modalities and manual therapy. I was known as a like a pelvic manual therapist mostly, so that did include a lot of people with back pain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and again just a helping field. So always in you to help others.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I was always a caretaker and somebody who wanted to help people improve their quality of life and I really enjoyed anatomy and physiology. I enjoyed science and I loved just body mechanics and just the wonder of how the body moves and how it can repair itself A little obsessed with muscles and stuff like that. So I really enjoyed my career. I did it for 20 years, wow yeah. And then the legalization of marijuana came to town and that flipped everything upside down.
Speaker 1:I remember the policies. You know it being talked about. It was on the ballot. I remember I voted for medical marijuana years prior and didn't really think too much about that. I thought, hey, you know, if it's going to help somebody, that's none of my business. Like that's between them and their doctor. So I didn't know anything in that regard. But when the recreational policy came, I was concerned. I was like I'm not sure this is a good thing. My past exposure to marijuana I had a bad reaction to a use when I was 16. I had a loved one that I saw struggle through his teenage years with it. So I thought I'm not sure that this is really going to work. And boy was I right. I mean, I knew it wasn't great, but I didn't know it would be a complete nightmare.
Speaker 1:Where you know, january 1st 2014, when the marijuana shops opened, our town really it just flipped upside down. We had homeless people, homeless families everywhere, with no resources, no jobs. We had international criminal organizations moving into our community buying up homes and properties. So there was all these people around and people you didn't recognize and it was a very bizarre, shocking experience. Now, at that point I still didn't think marijuana would affect my family. I was like not my kid-itis I guess that's what that's called not my kid-itis. Like I raised my kids better, like they know not to use drugs, they know not to use marijuana. They're Boy Scouts, you know, and we're a close family and we have dinners together and we have fun together, we hike and we play and we pray and we go to church together.
Speaker 1:So when my son's behaviors started changing, when he was in middle school, that was that year his behavior started changing and I thought it was adolescence growing up and then it turned into self-harming. We still didn't really realize marijuana was an issue at that point, but then by the time he got into eighth grade, we knew something was wrong. And then ninth grade, it was just we were in crisis, so I'll keep going if that's okay. Yes, absolutely Okay.
Speaker 1:My son, really, his behaviors became out of control. He became irrational, paranoid, delusional. He was repeating things over and over that did not make sense. He was acting out like aggressively at that point and I was talking to him, calming him down, letting him know that however he was feeling was okay. But it was a bit of me participating in that insanity because I didn't realize what I was witnessing at the time. He was suffering so much.
Speaker 1:He did a full flood suicide attempt and was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit, came out of that psychiatric unit still suicidal, still behaviors out of control, went back into a different psychiatric unit, not in our town, had to go up to Colorado Springs for the second one because the beds were full already here in the adolescent units in Pueblo. And when he got out of that hospital because I was like angry at him at that point, like why, you know what are you doing and he came and he told me he was dabbing and I had no clue what a dab was. I was like what the H-E double hockey sticks is a dab? And he said, mom, it's really strong marijuana and it's like crack weed and I knew it was making me feel crazy and I was actually trying to quit. And I, you know, knew how to read some science studies, you know journals, and I knew how to look at the p factor to see if a study was significant. And in that so I I started getting on PubMed and researching and and trying to figure out what is a dab, what is he talking about? And then I realized dabs are really strong concentrations of THC, the addictive chemical in the cannabis or marijuana plant, and that our community of Pueblo, colorado, was making these dabs and calling them medicine, was making these dabs and calling them medicine. And I got really angry because what I knew. And then the science I was reading how it changes the brain, how it causes paranoia, how it can lead to increased suicide attempts.
Speaker 1:I was scared for my son's life, I was scared for our family and that just opened the door to the next couple years of just living in crisis. And I couldn't find treatment for him for cannabis use disorder or marijuana addiction. But my friend was a social worker with the Department of Social Services here in Pueblo and she says as a Colorado taxpayer, you have the right to volunteer your family for crisis intervention with the Department of Social Services and get help for him that way. And I said, okay, that's my only option, that's what I'm doing. And I did that and they brought a therapist into the home to work with the whole family, which I thought was great, and I implemented everything they said to do.
Speaker 1:I was like hungry for this information. What do I do? What I would do and unfortunately, my son would get better and then he would get worse and then he just progressed and you know he had the pediatric disease of addiction at that point and he was hanging out with some people that were really taking advantage of his addiction. Families in our neighborhood who were growing their legally marijuana in their home would allow my son to sell it to other kids and supply him with as much as he wanted, and it really like people affiliated with gangs and it was a crisis and you know I learned about what psychosis was and that's what I was witnessing at those moments. And then he would quit using and he'd stabilize, he'd get better and I'd have my son back and then he would start using again and then we would have these total irrational thoughts, paranoia, behavior out of control, running around the streets like a really like. You see those people on the streets that are really psychotic.
Speaker 1:That was my son, and his addiction progressed to a weekend where he tried meth once and that was hell. I call that the weekend from hell. And that ended up landing him in a treatment center in Denver for three months where they completely overmedicated him on um. He was already on some anti-psychotic medications at that point, but he was um they. They gave him more medications and he was just a walking zombie. At that point he was drooling, he. I would go to visit him in the treatment center, which was a school treatment center, and he was in the hallway laying there with just passed out, with drool coming out of his mouth, and it was a really scary time.
Speaker 1:I think I was just in survival mode, not knowing what to do. I was living in a community that thought marijuana was medicine and was like the best thing that ever happened. And and here I was saying it's not, this is not what we voted for, right. You really, you really didn't vote for this right. And and and I wasn't the only family affected, I wasn't the only people being affected. So the community did step out, just two years after legalization and we tried to opt out of Amendment 64, which is the retail marijuana, and try to close the shops in our community. But you know we're outfunded and their voices are larger than us and we lost the vote At that point.
Speaker 1:My son was discharged from the 90-day program and there was a battle between the counselor and the psychiatrist there, a psychiatrist wanting to put him on more meds. The counselor saying are you crazy? This kid is already addicted home. Let's see what we can do. I brought him home and he did well for a while and then he relapsed and the people he was associated with at that point were they're coming after him.
Speaker 1:You know this is kind of bizarre, but like I would get threats to get my house shot up, I would have to look at my younger son when I'd get a message on Facebook because they would give my kid marijuana, he would get out of control, psychotic, and they were. They couldn't control him. And then they would send me messages saying why can't you control your kid? And I'd say, well, you're giving them the weed and the weed is what's causing this. And they would be like, no, the weed doesn't cause this. I'm like, yes, it does. And so there was this battle and I mean there were times I would look at my younger son I wouldn't even know where my older son is, but I'd get a threat to get my house shut up. I'd look at my younger son, I'd say get to the back of the house, like that literally happened. And I tried to get restraining orders for adults and a couple of the youth, for adults and a couple of the youth, and totally unsuccessful.
Speaker 1:The laws are not in the side of the health and safety of families. The law is in the side for the people that are dealing the drugs are causing the abuse of behaviors. And so, anyways, when we lost the vote to opt out of retail marijuana, you know we had had, I mean, the police, the DEA were busting international criminal organizations throughout our whole county. I was getting involved in documentaries, I was getting involved with doctors, local doctors, international doctors, well-known doctors on Facebook. I learned about Sam at that point and you know met Kevin Sabet and you know I was just like what is, you know, going on? But I became, when we lost the vote and we couldn't push the marijuana industry out of our community, I realized I live in a community that picked drugs over the health and safety of our own children, live in a community that pick drugs over the health and safety of our own children.
Speaker 1:So, through my research and after a standoff with the police in front of my house with my son, by the grace of God, between a mutual friend, chrissy, that you know and admire I'm on the phone with her. She's like call this consultant. And I don't know who this kid was. I remember his name was. It was either Trevor or Travis. He said your son needs a dual diagnosis program. I know exactly what's happening with him. It happened with me.
Speaker 1:I went out and the police are still out in front of my house and there's this scene I won't go into. But I handed the phone to my son. I said Will you talk to this kid? And my son did and he said You're right, I do need to go back to treatment. And and he chose to go back to treatment. And there was even one point where I found this program in Utah and I was ready to take him to this working ranch and they called me the night before and they said if you don't have $36,000, and I'm like I had 200 in my account, I had. I had walked away from my job, my dream job, at that point.
Speaker 1:I had landed a job working for one of the best physical therapists in the town with a private practice. I had really my own clientele. People were making private appointments with me just to have me as their therapist. And you know I had to leave that job because I couldn't leave my younger son alone with my older son. You know nobody talks about the financial burden and the emotional cost of families and how we have to go to the extreme to try to figure out how to get help for our kids. But fast forward.
Speaker 1:After that phone call with Travis, he found a dual diagnosis program for us in San Diego and that place was like that was the start of our recovery, our true recovery, where there was honesty, there was truth, there was science-based treatment and they understood marijuana's effects on my son and they did not minimize it like they did in Colorado. And so we went there and my son surrendered only testing positive for THC and he went there and he got healthy. He was when he came out of that program. He was muscular, he was shiny, he was glowing health. Those counselors were athletes and he was gaining confidence and it was great and they educated me on recovery and encouraged me to start going to Al-Anon and they called me every day and they encouraged me to do my work and I was like, wow, what is all this about?
Speaker 1:And then at that point my husband and I said we would not bring him back to Pueblo because, you know, there was really nothing to support his continuum of care. So I found Houston, texas, and that's when I found out about recovery high schools, alternative peer groups. There was a program there. I called the principal of Archway Academy, the oldest and first recovery high school in America, maybe the world and and she said, go to Cornerstone, this program and talk to Dr Annette Edens, who wrote this book called Monsters to Miracles.
Speaker 1:And Dr Edens counseled me over the phone, validated everything. My feelings, like where people were telling me I was crazy. Before Dr Edens was like yep, yep, I can see how you feel that way, yep, and this is what I can do to help. And you know, and bring him here. And because he had to be in an APG to get into a recovery high school, so he went to this really parent-driven intensive program and stop me if I'm talking too much, chrissy, I can just know I would say, though he was very amenable to to getting help your son.
Speaker 2:Was he always like that?
Speaker 1:No, the only thing that I can say that he was is that I put my foot down, like during that standoff with the police. They were saying you need to let your son back in the house, and I said, no, he's abusing me and my younger son. And they said, well, you know, the law says you have to bring him back in the house. I said, well, he can sleep in the backyard. And they said, well, you have to provide a roof over his head, and I said, well, he can, I'll put a tent out there you know, and and that was the conflict the police were telling me you're going to get in trouble, mom, you're not following the law.
Speaker 1:He's my son's very charismatic, he's a very good looking young man. He still is a good looking young guy and he was telling, you know, he was souping him up, saying my mom's the one with the problem. And I was like, hey, we're not living like this. You know, we're picking health and we're not doing drugs and we're not hitting anybody and we're not talking mean to anybody. That's not what this family does. So I think why he was willing and surrendered to get help was because I put my foot down and I held a strong boundary with him and he was a minor, so I had a little bit more pull at that point and, of course, maintaining that tough love, so to speak, is not always easy, as so many parents have found out.
Speaker 1:Amen to that. Amen to that Because I had to do that quite a number of times. And I'll tell you what. I still have trauma over all those days. I could still just break down and sob by some of the boundaries I've had to lay down and then walk away. It's, it is. There is nothing easy about any of that and my heart aches for the families that are in that position that you know are saying what do we do? And really, you know, try every option before they get to that point. And I did that too. I was trying every option.
Speaker 1:He did go to Houston and he did join that intensive program. It was a family recovery program and he lived with the host families for two years and I would go down as often as I could. But in the meantime, after I dropped him off at Houston, I came back to Colorado and I thought I got to get to work because I got to pay for this program, the minimum payment. The minimum payment was a thousand a month, though I was accruing about four to five thousand a month, but they allowed me just to pay a thousand a month to keep them in the outpatient and the alternative peer group. And I came back and then my husband says I got hurt at work on my back and I was like, oh no. And then when I went to go see him at the workman's comm doctor, he says we got to talk. And I'm like, oh no. And that's when he admitted to me that he was using THC marijuana.
Speaker 1:And he said well, I thought it would help me with my panic attacks, he was having a hard time watching our son go through that and he was self-medicating.
Speaker 1:So then he got suspended from his job, so we had no income. I called around all my old jobs. I took a temporary job for $8 an hour. I just said, well, I got to bring in as much money as I can to keep paying our mortgage and put food on the table, keep the lights on, and. And I did that, and I separated myself from my husband at that point, even though we were still living in the same home. I just felt at that point he kind of spit in my face, you know. I mean here I was working so hard with our son and our community and I thought, my gosh, this was the last thing I ever thought. But it all made sense to me with his behavior changes.
Speaker 2:but I didn't know marijuana was involved and I was coddling him until I knew you were in trauma yourself and trying to manage everything and focused a hundred percent on your son, of course and you know we just miss these things sometimes. You know also, this was almost 10 years ago still, so this was still, you know, talking about cannabis cannabis induced psychosis. Now, okay, maybe our legislators are still not listening and don't want to accept it, but the fact is that there is tons more science and proof about it now. But back then I can imagine that this was still somewhat foreign to some of the, even the treatment providers that you were meeting with. So that's what I was curious about in Colorado as well, when they were not really helping him while you were getting treatment. Did anyone recognize that it was just marijuana, or were they just treating him for mental health issues, not recognizing the marijuana part?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that that is what has happened. And they minimize the marijuana. And they would tell me, at least it's not heroin, at least it's not meth. You should be grateful. You know those. Those were the feedbacks I got.
Speaker 1:I remember going to an Al-Anon meeting here and being kind of chewed out by one of the members like my son's, addicted to opioids and you come in here complaining about marijuana, like what is your problem? Like I literally was so embarrassed I just bawled my eyes out, I was like I'll never come back here again. And you know it was. It was. You know, I know a lot of families feel alone in this, this issue, and I'll tell you it was. I mean, back then I had gotten connected with Parents Opposed to Pot and Mom Strong, and so there were a few advocates there that I was talking to and they were supporting me and they I mean they really have been with me from the beginning. But, like, when I took my son to Houston and found out, you know, my husband's problems was because of his marijuana use we're back 2016, at this point and then I spent the next couple years trying to figure out how I would get to my son in Houston and be part of his program without disturbing my younger son's life, and that was hard. So I just like I, tried to go to Houston as often as I can and be involved in the program. I got really close to the host family that had my son Matter of fact, I was just talking to that mama. Today she's my, my dear friend, and and my son there became a leader in his program. He had achieved three years of sobriety, so he was surrounded by positive peer support that people that wanted to be sober his age. They taught me down there how to work my own program, how to surround myself with my positive peers. Like to really just not even pay attention to the people that were enabling the marijuana use and talking lies about the marijuana like. Surround myself with people who understood. And I started healing.
Speaker 1:My son was healing and then my husband, unfortunately, was deteriorating and he ended up in a psychiatric unit and I at that point was scared of him and the people in the psychiatric unit said we heard you're trying to leave. We know we want you to leave. We can only hold them here for like two days. You need to leave now. And I did. I sold everything in our home and I was like I threw my hands in the air and I went to Houston at that point and I left him and we had been together since we were teenagers. But I was very, very focused that my younger son was in trouble. He was being bullied at school, he was being pressured to use a lot. These products were in our schools and we went to Houston.
Speaker 1:We got connected even more with the recovery community and my two sons and I lived and breathed recovery 24-7. Any activity we went was a recovery activity. We had fun. It's called enthusiastic recovery, where there's a lot of fun, there's a lot of meetings, there's a lot of counseling and there's a lot of fellowship and there's a lot of getting together and breaking bread. And it taught me a lot and I became a host mom for youth and recovery through that program.
Speaker 1:So sometimes kids would come live with me that were just coming out of treatment or waiting to go into treatment. They knew I knew about psychosis, so the kids that were in psychosis usually would come to my house. Some of them did very well, some of them did not, and anyways we did that and we had a great year with my son. You know we lived with him and I got an apartment. You know we were sleeping on the floors, we didn't have mattresses or anything like that. I literally gave up everything to go down there, and we had two homes here in Pueblo that we sold and I needed to sell them to pay for all the debt you know, start paying down even more of the debt of my son's treatment.
Speaker 1:I wish somebody would have shook me up at that point and said you're losing all your equity. You need to hold on to at least one of your homes. And I was just like I got to survive this and start over. So, anyways, that was a mistake. Anybody listening to this have boundaries around your finances, Because I did not. And then Texas Synthetic THC came on the market. And then he relapsed and we didn't. We didn't see him for two years.
Speaker 2:But he was somewhere in Texas.
Speaker 1:He was with his girlfriend and her family and yeah, but we didn't see him. He had nothing to do with any of us in the family and that was really hard. And that's when I had to dive deeper into my own recovery program and work harder on my 12 steps and do what I needed to do to survive and take care of myself. During that time COVID hit, you know, which was hard on everybody, and so that isolation and what you know we all went through it then right when my son showed back up at my younger son's.
Speaker 1:Now my younger son went to archway academy, the recovery high school. My younger son never touched a drug. He didn't have a substance use disorder but he had mental health issues, ptsd, depression and anxiety from what he went through with the addiction in our family and I kind of call him the godfather of recovery.
Speaker 1:If everybody thinks I'm outspoken and pretty strong about what I do, you should meet my son, my younger son. Well, my older son's getting like that too. He's like that, you know, very stern in recovery, like let's not BS, let's not participate in the insanity, let's choose boundaries and choices and behaviors that are healthy for all of us, and which makes me very proud of him.
Speaker 2:I think he's going to be a counselor someday Wow. I bet he will. So which is the one that had and we'll get to that in a little while, of course too, but which is the one who has joined you doing some advocacy?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's my younger son. Yeah, where he was advocating with us for SB3 in Texas. Yes, yeah, yeah, he poured his heart out to the legislators. I'm very, very proud of him.
Speaker 2:But yeah, he did a great job.
Speaker 1:He did a great job yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm very proud of him.
Speaker 1:So, going back to where we were, when my son showed back up at my younger son's high school graduation, he had like five layers of clothes on because he didn't want me to see how skinny he was. But obviously he was having CHS really bad. He couldn't eat or drink and that was difficult to see him emaciated like that. And he kept in contact with me. For about six months I had temporarily moved back to Colorado, lived with my parents as a financial reprieve and then my older son called for help and said I really can't eat and drink and I need help. And can I, can you help me again? So we got him, we brought him back to Colorado for a little bit and that that did not work out. So I took him back to Houston at that point and I had friends in the program. You know you make these really great friends and you bond with these people that understand. And my friends said you can come live with us and rent a room from us and we're not going to charge you much because we know you're paying down a lot of bills. And they were my angels and I rented a room from them very cheaply, very, very cheaply, and I 2023, I didn't do much social activities, so I wouldn't spend any money and I just poured everything I had to pay treatment down to pay his program off.
Speaker 1:And my son did. He did okay, but then he left again for a while and cycled in and out and we were in touch every once while he lived with us for a few months at that house. And, anyways, during that time my husband and I'm sorry, this is long, okay, no, I'm almost, I'm almost done my husband and I were talking again. We never divorced through this whole thing and he told me he was off marijuana, he was never going back to it again, he was doing better and we just started talking more and more and we decided we would move back in together. So in 2024, I moved back in with my husband and he lived in a little apartment.
Speaker 1:Back to Colorado. He lived in a little apartment and I slept on his broken couch at the age of 50 years old I was, I had to really humble myself that I didn't. You know, I did that and I had. I had a little bed, but we couldn't really sleep in the same. It was a one-bedroom apartment, so I felt more comfortable on the couch because we had been separated for eight years.
Speaker 2:Wow, Wow. And in those eight years he somehow got help for himself on his own. You were not really talking to him.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 1:We only talked if we had some kind of financial thing to talk about or the health of one of the kids. And if he ever heard from our older son, he would call me immediately and say I heard from him. But no, we had no contact. And you know, I can say to families about getting out of people's way and letting them figure it out, like sometimes, I mean I would say most of the time that's the only thing you can do. And I think getting out of people's way and letting them figure it out, like sometimes, I mean I would say most of the time that's the only thing you can do.
Speaker 1:And I think getting out of his way and allowing him to make the choices he needed to make is what he needed to do. And he, you know I live in a small community in Pueblo. I have friends that tell me, you know, your husband was not doing well for many years, know he, he would show up here and we would watch him and show up there and and, but he's been uh, clean for over two and a half years now, and and he was able to wean off all his medication, his antipsychotics, and, and he's he actually just quit smoking now too.
Speaker 1:So he, you know, so he's doing really good, amazing oh, that's fantastic, that's, that's really great and uh, and my younger son has been living with us for a while and then my older son about two weeks ago. He's been on and off thc for a while and he was really going back into psychosis just a few months ago. You know he thought he was some kind of evil being and he's sending these emails and manic and it was horrible and you know, just supporting him on the phone, letting him know he's capable, and he had a doctor yell at him one day and said if you don't quit using this, you're going to be schizophrenic, and I think that kind of scared him. You know where he's, not just hearing it from me and he's been off, I would say at least three months at this point. And he called me about two weeks ago and he said Mom, I don't fit in this world, I can't do it anymore. I'm trying, I'm trying and I'm probably going to take my life today.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And he said if I do, mom, I'm going to take the next few hours to think about things really hard and I'm going to be with God and I'm going to make a good decision. He says but if I decide to do that today, you have to promise me not to take this personally and know that you've done everything you can.
Speaker 2:Oh my.
Speaker 1:So this is all, excuse me happening during all this fighting in Texas to try to close all these vape shops. So you know that was a hard day. And he called me maybe like five or six hours later. Of course we sent the police to his apartment and he's not making enough money. Sometimes he'd have the electricity on, sometimes he wouldn't.
Speaker 1:He was still involved with the host family that we became so closely with and he would eat dinners with them and we were all just kind of as we always have worked as a team around my son. We all love him so much. And he called me up and he said Mom, I'm out fishing, which he loves to fish. And he said he says I'm going to come home, I need help and I need a break and I've got too much stress in my life and I've got too many bills. You're still open for me to come home and be with you guys for a little bit. And I was like, of course, you know, come home. So my husband and I are flying out to houston and we're going to drive his vehicle and him back here. So talk about a silver lining and being over the over the bridge.
Speaker 1:I mean we, we are all healing more and more, and I'm very, very grateful that's all I can say Cause I know there's a lot of families that don't have their loved ones anymore or they're lost in psychosis on the streets, and, um, I just feel very, very grateful um that we get another opportunity to be a family again after all these years, right, so and I think we have to say that through all of this because this is a very, very while you say it was long, it was again we're talking about before so many of these parents were even in this.
Speaker 2:A lot of parents have come into this around 2018, 2019. You had already been going through this for God knows how long and in the midst of all this, knowing you and again, I only know you close to three years now, but still you're a person and people say this about me too as well when I am in crisis, I function on the work level and you would never know some of the things that have brought me to the breaking point where I've gone into a work office and just like broken down and left my colleagues with their mouths hanging open Right Because they're like, how is that even going on? Like we would never know that. So I think this is the best point to talk about.
Speaker 2:Through all of this, there are so many things you were doing for others. You know the formation of Every Brain Matters, but even before Every Brain Matters all the work and advocacy you have been doing. You know because you mentioned doing a couple of you know interviews in Pueblo way back. But, like, really that was just the beginning, because you have been doing this for a very long time. So I'd really like to talk a little bit about some of your what you would think of as your shining moments through the years, as far as whether it be a news report or an interview or a television appearance, whatever it might be but also a little bit about how you were even able to do that, because that is a resilient person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, I can describe it a different way too, but I won't because I know this is public. Well, thank you, christy, and I think there's a lot of families like that, like yours, like mine, and you know they're holding their jobs or doing whatever they can on the inside of their families. I think there's a lot of families in crisis out there and they're trying to survive it and they're trying to heal from it and they're trying to find solutions. And it's a hard, hard thing and you know the disease of addiction is relentless and it's always knocking at the door and you know tomorrow's not guaranteed for any of us. But I can tell you, you know, bridging to my advocacy work, which you know, even though I talked mostly about my story and recovery, I was advocating the whole time and I would say to the viewers that there is no way I could do this advocacy work that I have done without the 12 steps and without my recovery.
Speaker 1:Community of Maranon Every Brain Matters and, like last night, we just had the president of Marijuana Anonymous on Every Brain Matters and just hearing his experience, strength and hope. And now the marijuana he was addicted to was low potency stuff, and you know. But there's something we learn, and learn from everybody, and we draw strength from everybody. So I think the advocates I had around me that were encouraging me and supporting me, I drew strength from them. So it's not like I was totally alone. I did have people saying go ahead, do this, do this. And I was making videos. I remember, like Kevin Sabet one day sending me an email saying you keep making those videos, audrey, and I was like, okay, you know I will agree, okay, you know I will and anyways. But I, when I moved to Texas.
Speaker 1:I I developed Citizens for a Safe and Healthy Texas way before I developed Every Brain Matters and and I am I have Every Brain Matters as a nonprofit because of Kevin Sabet's support at SAM. And I I I knew going to Texas that you know it was coming to Texas and I wanted to fight. I didn't want Texans to go down the same road as Colorado. So in Texas I would raise some money every year and go do an event like Texas's Republican Stronghold. So I knew I couldn't raise too much money. But I knew like I wanted to target the Republicans. I knew I wanted to target the delegates, because the delegates are the people who believe in policies and are interested in policies. So I wanted to really educate them. So I wanted to and I knew I could get to legislators by going to the Republican convention every year. So that's pretty much where I started. And then that would open opportunities for me to meet people.
Speaker 1:And you know I worked with a wonderful guy named Paul Chabot who was, you know, supporting me, and I met Dr Matt Poling and other Texans that would feed me information behind the scenes and say this policy is moving forward. I met Jesse LeBlanc who really, really prepped me and educated me, especially with the hemp-derived THC and how even the decriminalization bills that were pushing forward in Texas were really pseudo legalization bills that would legalize large amounts of THC. He would do the calculations and so I would show up at the Capitol and I would definitely just target the senators there to educate them, because I knew the Lieutenant Governor, dan Patrick, was very anti marijuana, anti drugsugs, and he was going to stop whatever crazy policy was coming through. He was the person to stop it. So I just like I didn't have a ton of time so I would just focus on the Senate.
Speaker 1:There was less members, there had a bigger pool, so I did that for many years and then fast forward, you know, even up to last year we got, I was able to actually hand information to the Lieutenant Governor there where he said he looked at me and he said marijuana will never be legal in the state of Texas. And I said marijuana is legal in the state of Texas. Read this, you know. And and then he had other people talking to him how horrible it was with all these vapes and smoke shops and gas stations selling synthetic THC.
Speaker 2:So he the compassionate care program. Isn't that crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, they have a teacup.
Speaker 2:Compassionate use Right, yeah, well they.
Speaker 1:That's separate. Now they have the Texas compassionate use program Program, that medical program which was, but this was I'm talking about all the synthetic THC that was being sold in the gas station. That was my focus. I never really talked about the Compassionate Use Program.
Speaker 2:And for our listeners who don't understand. The gas station products are the ones that have fallen through the federal farm bill loophole that is trying to be closed, so crossing our fingers on that.
Speaker 1:Which PAN does a great job on the federal level taking families to try to close that loophole, and that's exactly what we're trying to do in Texas and we're waiting to see if that is going to happen. But I formed that organization in 2018-19. And then I was working under other nonprofits, like Parents Post a Pot, and I was helping other nonprofits and just kind of going like a bunch of different directions. But then I got the opportunity where I had this dream to have Every Brain Matters, which is a term I learned from my friend, dr Christine Miller, that when she was educating me a lot and she said that you know, we were talking about brain health and stuff. And she said to me one day well, you know, aubrey, every Brain Matters. And I'm like, oh yeah, that's, that's great.
Speaker 1:I developed a logo and stuff and the purpose of Every Brain Matters was to get families to advocate, and at that time the families and still that want that were coming to me were in crisis. They were looking for solutions to help their loved ones that were addicted to marijuana or having psychotic breaks or had CHS, and so I go. These families need support. So Every Brain Matters has two arms it has a recovery support arm and it has an advocacy arm. But the families are normally not going to get to advocacy unless they have the support of recovery. So I used all the tools and everything I learned. I was running recovery support meetings, I was a parent coordinator for recovery, I was a host mom and I I started developing recovery resources with every brain matters in hopes that once the families got to a stabilization point in their lives that maybe they would be willing to come forward and advocate.
Speaker 1:So that's how every brain matters came to be right um and um, it really didn't become its own nonprofit till 2023, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean I have to say you know, again I want to reiterate what you just said is that everyone who comes into this, we have to be incredibly compassionate and sensitive to where a parent is at, because, while you might have one or two parents come and say I need to advocate about this and I'm angry and I want to talk to Congress and people about this, they have to start somewhere and they need to get their help first. And I love that you have these specific groups which I'd like you to tell us about, some of those, of course to help parents get that help that they need and, you know, have a community of others before they're ready to advocate. Because, again, you have to build up to that.
Speaker 1:You really do. You really need the support to come forward in this space to advocate, because it's not necessarily a safe space to advocate. It's very toxic and can be very abusive depending on the environment you're in. So the support is definitely needed. So I'm grateful that you, chrissy and Pam, you guys provide that support too. I think you know continuing to do that, there's been more families coming forward and I know there's more coming, and soon. They're not going to be able to ignore us all, so that's what we hope for.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But so we started having support groups through Every Brain Matters. I brought in the counselor I learned a lot from to hold meetings and I met my friend, bart Bright, and he said, hey, do you know about Maranon, bart Bright? And he said, hey, do you know about Maranon? And I was like, no, what's Maranon? He's like it's like Al-Anon, but for marijuana, people affected by marijuana. I'm like, oh my gosh, that totally makes sense. He goes, I'm going to have medians, I'm going to hold them online. I said, okay, how do I help you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so, with another lady named Tracy, developed Maranon, and I'm actually the vice president of Maranon right now.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic.
Speaker 1:So that's a resource and I won't talk too much about it, but it's a 12-step program for people affected by another person's marijuana use and there's like 11 or 12 meetings a week, mostly all online. So check it out if you're looking for help and support.
Speaker 2:And everyone can find these easily on your website if they're interested in joining a meeting, and they're all virtual meetings at various times.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, so ours, with Every Brain Matters. We have these climbers meetings every Wednesday and Saturday. You just go to the top of the page and hit the meeting tab and you'll see all the meetings that we offer of the page and hit the meeting tab and you'll see all the meetings that we offer For Maranon. You can hit our family recovery resource tab and you'll get exposed to that. Or you can go to Maranon it's mar-anoncom and learn about that program and so, yeah, we have a lot of great support and then a lot of people families are giving service to one another and that support is just growing and growing. So, you know, and everybody's at different levels of their recovery. Some are just fresh at it and still very angry, and you know, trying to figure out what to do, and some people are, you know, at the 12th step, where they're providing service to one another.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and would you like to talk a little bit about your Voices of Truth pages with all the stories? Because you're still having parents fill that out if they're interested, right, why not? So parents can still do that if they're willing to share their story and have it be another one out there for people to see.
Speaker 1:Yes, we do invite families to share their stories with us, usually just a one-page blog about their story and how marijuana affected their loved ones or them and what they want the world to know, and so, and then we also have a memorial that you know when people. One of the things that drives me nuts about this issue is they say, well, nobody dies from marijuana, and I'm like well, our state and federal governments do not track marijuana related deaths, nor do coroners always test for THC, and that's the policy we've got to change. We've got to get coroners to test for THC with perpetrators that are committing homicides, with all suicides, with any kind of violent acts, crimes.
Speaker 1:We've got to expose that data and then so the pro-marijuana people can quit lying to the country. I find them a very deceptive people and they tell a half-truth. They should say we don't track our country does not track marijuana-related deaths, instead of them saying nobody dies from marijuana.
Speaker 1:Exactly Because we all know that's true.
Speaker 1:Just go to the memorial tab on Every Brain Matters and you actually see real people, you know, like real family voices, and I find it extremely disrespectful to the families. And, just for an example, the hemp industry in Texas had a press conference and they spoke of one family that they have no clue about and they mocked a family that lost their loved one and I, you know, wanted to go in there and just go. How horrible are you Like, how insensitive. You have no empathy, you have no understanding. You're so entitled, selfish people that you can't even put a little chisel in your hard heart to look and see that THC changes the brains of people, can cause psychosis, can lead them to self harm or harming other people. Like, really, really, that is a fact that you're just going to deny and just lie about, and so it's offensive and it's a public disservice. So at least, if you're going to have this drug legalized, at least tell the truth about it, you know. So that's one thing that really really drives me nuts with this issue.
Speaker 2:And you know what, speaking of the opposition, we have a lot of families, that one today, in fact, a mutual friend, slash advocate of ours, Aubrey, who called me up with some concerns about backlash from doing a particular piece of media and I said to her you need to call Aubrey. She goes through this every day. She'll give you some tips. So can you tell us about that? Was it just through your recovery? Or how on earth are you able to build that thick skin to fight back and push back against the pro industry when you are out there speaking out about the harms and someone just keeps coming at you? Do you have any words of advice for our parents about how to handle that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean mostly you just need to ignore it and any media piece you can get with any kind of comment is better than nothing. And you know, I'm not going to lie. At first it was very difficult on me and I really didn't know how to process all of that. Now, the way I process it, I look at the people that are lashing out at me and I look at them as victims. They're a victim to the drug. They've lost their humanity because no decent human being would ever talk to another human being like that. Knowing that, that, you know, marijuana changed my son's brain to the point where he was not treating me well. He was abusive to me and, keeping that in mind, that that's not truly him, that's the drug talking not to excuse the behaviors I'm not excusing the behaviors.
Speaker 1:And I think you know when they lash out at me publicly to like with this Texas thing lately, a lot of times I would block people or delete comments or something like that. But I'm just leaving them up there Because I see some legislators liking and sharing some of my posts and I'm tagging even the president in my posts and I'm tagging Secretary Kennedy and I'm tagging HH, health and Human Services and FDA and I want them to see what they're enabling. You know they're enabling this type of abusive behavior and this entitlement. You know, as Americans we are very entitled people, we live privileged lives and you have these people screaming give me my drugs, give me my drugs and I don't care what it does to my neighbor or my community or even my family, and that's a very selfish thing that we are enabling.
Speaker 1:So I would say it gets better in time once you come forward and advocate it's better. No, that's a lie. It doesn't get better, it gets worse. The louder your voice you have, the worse they come at you. And this time around in Texas, you know they have posted a former residence where I used to live and they're like now.
Speaker 1:But I worry about the people that do live there and who's going to show up and I get threats and I get a lot of FUs and you know they scream. Well, you don't care about my income and my business.
Speaker 1:You're taking my job, you're standing my jobs, you know and they feel threatened and I think it's kind of funny that a middle-aged mom like me, they feel threatened, threatened, and I think it's kind of funny that a middle-aged mom like me, they feel threatened by me. I think that's kind of funny. Um, you know cause? I'm not a politician, I'm not an actress, I'm not. I'm not a wealthy popular person. I'm Aubrey Adams from the other side of the railroad tracks. I'm battered, I'm bruised, I'm dyslexic. I'm not like an intelligent person that really is well-read or anything. I'm just a pissed off mom that knows that this is wrong. But I also, I think my. I kind of lost my train of thought there, but I think that should be my title.
Speaker 1:I lost my train of thought, just a. I think that should be my title Lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2:Just a pissed off mom who knows this is wrong. Just a pissed off mom.
Speaker 1:I like it when Michelle Leopold says she's like I wish she says something about herself. That's hilarious. I'm one tough mother, or something like that. One tough mother. I like it when she says that. But yeah, I think you know.
Speaker 2:I don't know where my train of thought was going with that, that Just having a tough skin and you know. Yeah, yeah, in a way any publicity is good, publicity right. Any comment and pushback is kind of good because, as you were saying, is to try and show how bad this is on the other side. You know, and what we put up with to try and get this message across.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I don't think marijuana is a drug that can be effectively regulated. I think that ship has sailed. I think they have proven that they're a predatory addiction for profit industry and that at this point they need to be held accountable through lawsuits. And these policies need to be stopped, period. And I think, you know, in time there'll be less empathy for the industry and more empathy for, or sympathy for, the families. Right now I don't see that. I think it's changing. But I think there's a lot more sympathy, even in our own network, for the industry than the families and and people are like well, she's a bad parent and she couldn't control her kid, and you know and I, I hear all that. But I'll tell you something funny.
Speaker 1:When the one of the first times I got harassed I I went to Maryland and I testified when we stopped legalization that year in Maryland with just a few of us, with Dr Christine Miller and on my YouTube channel, this guy came after me and he was not being nice to me, he was being abusive and my son was in treatment. My older son was in treatment in Houston and he was watching it on YouTube and he told the guy. He says hey, man, my mom's speaking the truth and and I'm the only one who's allowed to talk to her that way Not you. I got a kick out of that. That. He was like, yeah, you can't abuse my mom, but I can.
Speaker 2:Exactly it's so funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but we're hoping. In Texas we have had a great group of parents step forward. We're a great team. We've done immense amount of work. The vulnerability hangover is true. So anybody speaking out publicly to the media, doing advocacy work you know there's a great article I have on the website that Dr Crystal Collier wrote and interviewed Laura Stack about about a vulnerability hangover, and give you tips and techniques for that. So you got to just really take good care of yourself after you speak out.
Speaker 1:You know, maybe you need to get quiet for a couple weeks and get extra rest, take extra walks, drink extra water and do what you need to do to take care of you, because it is a hard space to advocate in. It's not like the families with the opioid use disorder. When they came forward, they were welcomed with open arms. We're not necessarily being welcomed.
Speaker 2:It's a really good analogy because they were very welcomed. You know, in my prevention work here in New York I know a whole bunch of what we call the moms on a mission, all you know all who have lost their children to opioid addiction and you know suicide and overdose and whatnot. And and again, welcomed in everywhere, because of course we're in an opioid crisis and that is recognized and accepted, but yet talk about uh, being in a marijuana crisis and nobody wants to hear it.
Speaker 1:You know yeah, there's a lot of drug biases out there and and yeah, I know it's a rough space too like I'll have mom say to me, I wish my kid was still using marijuana. You know that has died from opioids and that's really hard to hear. And you know, I don't even really respond, but it's like I'm so sorry you feel that way and it's I'm so sorry for your loss and you know drugs are all connected.
Speaker 1:And addiction is addiction and not everybody survives it, and we've got to start focusing on prevention and recovery policies and quit this insanity with these promotional drug policies that enable more addiction and mental illness, and so thank you for letting me speak today with you.
Speaker 2:Chrissy, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there are days I want to run to the hills and quit, you know I have to admit, but it's the families that keep me going.
Speaker 2:I hear you. I say that all the time. I mean we all get frustrated at some point and sometimes these weeks I don't have to tell you are so hard. We hear so many stories in a week, like at least one a week at the very least, you know, and sometimes up to seven in one week, you know, and I, sometimes I can't. I I look forward to Fridays, I can't wait for Friday and sometimes I actually cry.
Speaker 2:So I can only imagine what you go through. You know, and you've been in this a long time and you have a very personal story as well, and while we all have some form of a story, some are certainly by far more serious and profound than others, and yours is quite an unbelievable story, you know, and it's so, so amazing how far this has taken you. So I, you know, I tell you all the time I really admire you for all the work that you're doing, for the resilience you have shown and for the fortitude. You for all the work that you're doing, for the resilience you have shown and for the fortitude you have, of course, and I just am really proud to know you and very appreciative of the work you're doing, and I love how far, we've come together in our goals and I love partnering together and bringing families together and, you know, getting them to Capitol Hill and working together on this issue that we're both extremely passionate about. So thank you so much for being here and being flexible with your time as well.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, Chrissy. I feel the same about you and I'm proud of all the work you're doing, and there's nothing that brings me more joy than when I see families working together to advocate for all of us, and that is something that just really brings me joy and gives me the strength to keep going on. So I hope I can continue doing this work and I hope the governor of Texas signs SB3 here very soon. If he doesn't, then Texas is in big, big trouble.
Speaker 2:So we'll see. So I'm crossing my fingers, I'm I'm having hope and faith that he will. I mean you, all of you moms did an amazing job. Your press conferences were amazing. Your, your continued output on Facebook and I don't know if you're on Twitter, I don't go on Twitter as much, but on all social media is just unbelievable. So, everybody, keep looking at that. If you're in Texas, keep signing the direct advocacy campaign encouraging Governor Abbott to sign off on SB3. And again, go to everybrainmattersorg. If you're interested in putting your story up, if you're interested in joining a recovery group or the climbers groups or advocating, just reach out to Aubrey or any one of us at any time. We all speak to each other. And again, Aubrey, thank you so much for all you're doing.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, Chrissy. I appreciate you too, and we'll keep moving forward and working together.
Speaker 2:We will as you say, we'll keep on, keeping on because, every brain matters.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 2:So just a couple of reminders If you're interested in being on the Fortitude podcast, please know that you need to be welcomed into the Parent Action Network and you don't need to have already been advocating, but just be signed up with us so that we learn your story and then I would welcome you to participate in the podcast.
Speaker 2:In the summer, as we're quieter, we do not have a live webinar. In the summer, as we're quieter, we do not have a live webinar, so we will be re-uploading a former one with Dr Aaron Weiner and a mom, maria from Pennsylvania, who talks about how marijuana is not medicine and how it affected and impacted her adult autistic son's life. We also are going to be introducing a PAN FDPS page, which FDPS is the Foundation for Drug Policy Solutions. That is Sam's sister company to build a small army of parents to advocate against other drugs psychedelics, opioids, fentanyl and other drugs and work on good drug policy across the board. And again, I hope that each of these episodes leaves our audience with a profound understanding of the urgent need for awareness, for better regulations and, most of all, the power of community support in addressing the challenges posed by today's marijuana products. So thank you all for listening and I hope you all have a wonderful start to the summer and Aubrey, thanks again for being here, thank you Okay.