Train For A Great Life
A Great Life doesn't happen by accident.
I'll share my own experiences, thoughts on training, mindset, life and how to build a great life of your own.
Train For A Great Life
The Balanced CEO: What It Really Takes To Lead Through Hard Seasons (S3:E1)
the sort of tagline in my head is nobody cares.
Speaker 2:Everything that you want is on the other side of the things you're afraid of experience is one of the greatest teachers, and you don't have to have the same experience as someone else to be able to relate to things that people have going on that you have no idea about, welcome to this episode of the balancedanced CEO Podcast. I'm excited here to welcome Jay Rhodes all the way from Canada. Good old Canada, eh.
Speaker 1:Good old Canada. One big landmass, everyone just says Canada.
Speaker 2:Yep, Northern America, as some like to say. I don't know who, but some people call it that.
Speaker 1:No thoughts, no thoughts. We don't need to get into that right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, so in all seriousness, man, I appreciate having you here. We're in chicago at the two brain summit. Yeah, um, you have um quite the resume in terms of a gym owner. Um been doing this a long time yeah, I know you've been road tripping with chris cooper for I don't even know how long.
Speaker 1:Since the beginning.
Speaker 2:Since the very beginning. Like you, were one of the very first adopters of the two brain ways. Right, I was like that.
Speaker 1:I got in early on. I don't know if I'd call myself the first adopter, cause I mean I had my, I had my challenges in the beginning and I just didn't really know what to expect. Like you know, I there had to be, there was there, had to be, there was there had to be enough pain for me to sign up with this thing. And I and I trusted Coop from just knowing him he was the media director for Canada East Regional back when I was competing, so he would like call me up and interview me for the CrossFit Games website. So I had I knew him a little bit, but but like, yeah, I was, I would say for the first little while, like I was just kind of that stagnant, like I can't do that, we don't do it that way. Like thought when I signed up I just would spend the money and Chris would save me. I don't know if, like, not actually.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of us think that, like, if I, once I pay this money, I'm magically things are going to change without me having to change Right this money, I'm magically things are going to change without me having to change right.
Speaker 1:right, and that's just not the case at all. No, I, with all of this, you know um progress resume. I guess, so to speak, that I I've changed as much, if not more, um than our business. I shouldn't maybe say change like it's just. It's just, it's allowed me to thrive and flourish. Well, you evolved, you changed, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:At the most functional level. You changed, you evolved, sure, and I tell people all the time I'm like this is what you want. Are you willing to change? Well, I don't think I have to. I'm like, well, nothing's going to change if you don't there, you know right, like that's, if you don't change, yeah, none of these other things are going to change, because you're leading the ship. So if you aren't changing the direction of your behavior, your systems, your lifestyle, these other dominoes are not going to fall in place on their own, yeah, magically the, the cliche, the, the definition of insanity right, doing the same thing, expecting different results so you changed.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, you went from regional, competitive, high-level competitive athlete hobby gym right to competitive owner and hobby fitness uh, I mean yeah, yeah, I suppose like um competitive owner probably isn't the right term but you went to professional rather than professional fitness yeah, certainly my, my own pursuits.
Speaker 1:They took a back seat to like I. I was like, oh I, I saw a path, I saw a light, like I can turn, we can do this. Yeah, we can do this for a living. I don't have to teach high school substitute, teach high school anymore. And the more I did that, the more I didn't want to do it anymore. And but I was like, how the hell do you like Chris's talk this morning? Like there weren't, there weren't examples of people doing this and like doing it having a great lifestyle Right, of people doing this and like doing it having a great lifestyle right. Um, so, yeah, the professional gym owner, competitive gym or like that.
Speaker 1:That does sort of resonate, because when I did see that, when I changed and when I was willing to try stuff and take action on things, things changed with it and and then then it just turns into the game, you know then it then you're like, okay, let's try some more stuff or let's double down or let's, let's not forget. It's funny like I, when you say, like I have this big resume, I'm sitting over here. I'm like, yeah, what goes through my head is like if you put a, a kid, in front of piano and you give them piano lessons for 10 years, they're probably going to be able to do some stuff. Yeah Right, just I've stayed in something that I care deeply about for a long time and I think something that we've done well is we haven't really I wouldn't say we've ever really gotten distracted so like the shiny stuff, like it's probably held us back from opportunities too, but I think we've been pretty good at repeating the things that work.
Speaker 2:You know and to credit to you. I just want to be really clear with anybody listening that maybe doesn't know you. You're just a humble guy, so like you're not going to think you have this big resume but from the outside looking in, like a lot of people look at your resume and go I would literally kill to have what you've built and I think it's important for people to understand like you have put a lot of work. You and Lacey have put in an insane amount of work and dedication and sacrifice to get to where you're at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I, I appreciate that I do. Um, funny thing is, like in the early years of the gym ownership, like I had I had goals that were there's like a parallel here that I'm going to draw to but I had goals that were not fulfilled Like I wanted to. I wanted to. I was a track athlete growing up and I wanted to run for Team Canada and I was on a pretty good path and I ran into some injuries in high school and and it just it didn't happen. And then I had this like second life as an athlete with CrossFit, where I was like I want to make the games and I want to represent Canada and I was like I beat some guys that went to the games and like, but it's just, I never put together the regional to make that happen.
Speaker 1:Um, and so when I think like back in those times, I don't I, I wasn't necessarily like like I, I don't know I I mean maybe it'd be better to ask people about me back then. Like I feel like I wasn't humble back then, but it was like I was, I wanted to almost like I don't know, we're hard on ourselves, aren't we? Like I was like not not reaching these things. But I was like I don't know. But the parallel to it was like back when I was as a gym owner and we were struggling and not making any money, I want, I wanted this, I wanted this, I want the shiny thing, I wanted more equipment.
Speaker 2:Then it's once we had the ability to buy it, I was like I don't think I really need to buy that and, to be fair, I think in competitive sport there's a certain amount of arrogance that's required to get to the top level, because you have to believe internally I'm the best. I can beat anyone any day of the week right, or you're not going to make it right, like you're never going to get there, because your limiting self-belief is always going to hold you down. So, yeah, I think as an athlete, you have to create that, this like almost secondary arrogant character that turns on when it served me really well served me.
Speaker 1:I played football like I was a running back and and in track like it served me very well. There was a number of races that I won by hundredths of a second. I have, uh, handfuls of ontario provincial medals. Almost all of them are the. I have one silver. It's from the first medal I ever won. They were all either gold or bronze, which is either you couldn't have done better or at least you got one. Yeah, right, that silver is kind of that in between one. So, um, yeah, it's that the, the that mindset has definitely served me well.
Speaker 1:But it also like, yeah, I mean it, it also was just I don't know. I think there's like a, maybe a self centeredness that comes with it where, like I just I also, I just I don't think I was a great communicator. I didn't really ever like lean into learning how to communicate with people. I was a pretty shy kid, I was pretty introverted, and so, like I got stuff going on through my head all the time. I'm trying to figure things out, but I'm very sort of like up here and like you know what I've learned as an adult?
Speaker 2:just like other people are wicked interesting and like let's just ask them some questions too. Right, and you were about your business, man, like what's? Like any good competitive professional athlete? You were about your business. You believe you could beat anyone and that's how you ascend to the level you're at. But like you, now I have shifted into a business owner and now it's a gym owner, first before kids. You're a business owner. You're still a teacher for a while 2010 to 2018 yeah, we opened the gym in 2012.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, a number of years so you're?
Speaker 2:you're doing all these different hats. I mean, did you ever feel like there was? Did it ever feel like you were? Just, you had to become a completely different person because, like this, like arrogant athlete, was a set almost holding you back from being a better owner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, manager, boss, husband, etc I mean that's the whole, that's yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um, I think it's a. It doesn't all happen at once, obviously, like, I think it's a gradual thing, but I think, uh, I think yeah, and so I mean I can, I can go back and storytell a little bit. So, um, yeah, take it back to 2015. I signed up with chris cooper three, two, one go. This is pre-tubrain. And um, I, I didn't sign up right away. It kind of kind of came back to it and, like we, we had our first mass exodus out of the gym in 2014. Um, got way too focused on getting a team to the crossword games and, just like you, just you're not focusing on the right things and you know we're maybe a little bit too cutthroat about how we built that team and, um, it rubbed people the wrong way and and I, you know I wouldn't have, I wouldn't do it again uh, but you don't get to, you don't get do-overs. So, uh, we had a mass exodus. Um, this is summer 2014.
Speaker 1:Lacey and I got married that summer. Um, we paid our mortgage from our house with gift money from the wedding for a couple of months. Uh, affiliate fee came up in September. Couldn't pay it. I had a connection with Dave Castro through meeting him a few times and I I emailed him. Uh, I have the email still and I was just like I don't know what to do. Man, our fees due. I can't pay it. I don't know what to do. I believe in this. We're just in a really hard time right now. And he's like don't worry, man, I got you this year. He comped it which I was like not prepared to read. I wasn't asking for that either, but it also didn't really solve the problem Right.
Speaker 2:It just sort of prolonged the suffering, kind of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then. So Christmas came around that year we didn't buy each other Christmas gifts, like we didn't do Christmas. I can I curse on this? No, go for it. I fucking love Christmas. I love it, I don't know, I just love everything about it. I love the whole month of December. I love the lights, I love everything, and and it was just like is it due to the proximity to the North pole?
Speaker 2:It's just you're like in the polarity of it might be. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, uh. So yeah, it was just this like we can't do this, like this isn't the life that I want and this certainly isn't like the life that that like my wife deserves. And so we like painted the gym instead of doing Christmas with each other, and and it was like okay. And then the gym started to rebound a little bit and this is a bit of a long winded story, but it's. It has a bit of a wild piece in there. So we started to recover and and I remember I was like where's the money? Like it's not, it's not there. Like I just couldn't understand. I was like I know there's processing fees. I didn't know shit about metrics back then. I, I, I just wasn't tracking anything. Like I have my. Back then we did the big sheet. You remember the big?
Speaker 2:sheet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all of mine are rounded numbers to the hundreds or to the tens. They're not real.
Speaker 2:I just guessed at everything right and uh.
Speaker 1:And so I I asked in the group um, which I wish that I don't know if that group's even active, but it was in the two brain Like I would screenshot that and like frame it. But I was like basically like where's our money? And someone was like call your processors, right, it's like OK. So I remember this is a Friday and it was late and I called and they were closed till Monday. I went way up north to like way, way up north, like 10 hours up into Quebec and did the master's nationals weightlifting competition.
Speaker 1:Um broke a bunch of like Canadians master's national records. I almost didn't go because I couldn't afford the gas and the hotel and my brother kind of talked me into it. He's like you might not ever just get the opportunity to do it again. So I went up there, I got to hang out with like 60 and 70 year old weightlifters that are just like legends of the sport, which was so cool and uh. And then I came back and I went to teach on Monday and I called our processors. Um, so back then we were using um chase for credit cards, so direct. So like I bill Chris for his gym membership, it goes directly into our bank account. Right, if I bill Chris for preauthorized debit, so out of a bank account with VersaPay back then it would go into a holding, a holding account like a PayPal or something like that. Yeah, didn't know that.
Speaker 2:So you just got this chunk of money sitting here in in the cloud, okay, chunk of money sitting here in in the cloud. Okay, a lot, I could see where this is going, because you're not the first person I've heard.
Speaker 1:Really someone else won their own lottery.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't necessarily they won the lottery, but yes, they like didn't understand the their financial process so like if someone was using a different form of payment it went to this thing and they hadn't filled out some form with their bank account info, so the money was just sitting there waiting for the, for the company to know where to send it yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:So so this is again. This is a bit of a roundabout story. Um, I call, I log in. There's 77 000 in there that's definitely the highest I've heard.
Speaker 1:There's like almost three years of building, right, and it was like we didn't pay attention to money, we didn't have a lot Like I would have if that money, if we knew it was there, it was gone, right, but we we had. We were living at Lacey's parents' house, then we got a house, then I started teaching more, then we opened the gym inflows and outflows so much like I feel dumb, like I remember I was like I don't know who to tell this story to, because I'm, I'm, I'm dumb and I have a bunch of money right now.
Speaker 2:Um, it's not a feel-good story for anybody, but I mean, it's a feel-good story for you now, when you realized it was there.
Speaker 1:So there was a lot of really really good things to come from that. So the gym was more, more. I mean we weren't doing a lot. We were doing like maybe 10 grand a month, but we had more coming in than we realized. We were more successful than we realized. We wiped out all debt consumer debt, student loans, all of it. We had about half of the money $33,000 left and then I started to learn about investing about half of the money $33,000 left and then I started to learn about investing literally in the same week as going from like in debt spinning wheels, paying minimum credit card to right.
Speaker 1:So I mean the lesson there is like you have money, you have more than you think. Like like you just need to automate, you need to, you need to put away and not act like you have it at all. We just did it way aggressively. Like the amount of things that we said no to over those years was pretty wild Um, we're in poverty or anything like that, but like it would have been nice to have some of that. Oh yeah, um, so so that kind of like.
Speaker 1:I was like we're good, but then, you know, months go by and I'm like like nothing's really fundamentally changed about our business. Like, I've signed up for this thing, I haven't really done a whole lot with it. And so 20 I remember, like New Year's 2016, we kind of Lace had just come off of doing the. She had made the Canadian team for weightlifting so we were in Houston for the world championships and she was going to be like trying to qualify for the Olympics and everything and she was pouring a lot into that and I was like I'm going to. I'm going to put my own endeavors aside a little bit and I'm going to focus hard on this business and learning and learning what it's all about and how to actually like run this thing. And it's been pretty up and to the right since then that's amazing, man.
Speaker 2:I mean I know you. I mean early adopter or not. You're an og in the two-brain world.
Speaker 2:You're an og in the crossfit affiliate owner space, especially now with the way things early, yeah, yeah yeah, I mean for someone new to this, or maybe they're early on in their business, or maybe maybe they're like me, that was seven years in before they finally realized they had to put some time into themselves to kind of grow everything. I mean, when you're sitting here struggling through all this, you get this windfall of money. You start learning about investing, which I do want to talk about a little more. You are quite. You really have a great system in place in terms of, like, what you do with stocks and everything else Like it's.
Speaker 2:I think for someone that's like a little bit, that's more low risk, wanting to just kind of have a way to kind of move their money and long think, longterm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah I think there's a. Your system is really good for that, okay, um okay, um, but I'm.
Speaker 2:What I'm more curious about right now is lacy's doing the weightlifting thing, you're doing the gym thing.
Speaker 1:Kids really aren't a twinkle in the eye quite yet, not quite yet, no, no, she poured a lot into that, yeah. And then it was uh, so she was, I mean a little shout out to her and how like she almost made the olympics, like she was our third alternate. So she picked up weightlifting as a I don't know 24, 25 year old. Like I got her started into crossfit and then she was just like, so she was a gymnast and a long jumper.
Speaker 1:You combine those two and you got a pretty good weight lifter the explosive and powerful human right, even though she's not a squatter she didn't have squat mechanics at all but she was 128 pounds and power clean 220 and snatched 205, right, like she broke. She broke canadian records, 13 year old, standing records um, she was, and she just she didn't miss either. Like she, she opened. Um, I'm just like super proud dude right now of her. But like she, the Canadian record was 91 kilos and she would open at 90. She'd open at 99 percent of the Canadian record and she just didn't miss just national record yeah like yeah, that's what I get up and do for breakfast.
Speaker 1:So yeah, she poured a lot into that for a while and somewhere in there we realized like me I'm maybe more of the visionary steer in the ship. She's way better like integrator of all my ideas, not just mine. She's had some fantastic ideas too, but she is sort of the integrator to our staff or I could probably do a better job now. But that was another sort of split that we made was like I'll sort of handle the growth and direction and like the sales marketing, all that type of stuff, and she's going to be the piece that that links it all up and does scheduling and staff meetings and all that so I love that.
Speaker 2:I love that you bring that up, because I think that's something that most people don't really consider is like, which side of the fence are you on? They try to be all rather than um, like you said, I think or maybe it was gary said by rather than buying back your time by hiring someone or, in your case, being married to the right fit sure I mean, take the other side of the coin.
Speaker 1:We we'd been together. We've been together since 2007. I mean there was no. It's funny. We got together as kids like there was no inkling of a business, or like crossfit or weightlifting or any of this stuff.
Speaker 2:That's happened as adults, but it's interesting right like it's usually that way, like one of one spouse is, like one partner is uh more visionary, the other one's more of a, of a x's and o's box checker. Right, they're more streamlines, they they get shit done.
Speaker 1:They're very like systematic with the way they do things I mean, if we're going on a vacation, I show up and I'm like whoa cool, this, this is what I had no idea. Like I haven't even looked at the place and she's like got it all taken care of. Yeah, cause, if I do it like we, we uh we had her family over on Wednesday night for we we play volleyball with them and so we did like a burger night before and we had the more and everything. So I went to grab all the stuff and I got I got burgers for everybody, um, you know some toppings and whatnot. And uh, I had to go.
Speaker 1:I had to go back to the grocery store three times. I forgot like I don't know, I didn't. I got like all the burgers and I was like we're good. And then she's like did you get was? I got like didn't. I got like all the burgers and I was like we're good, and then she's like did you get was? I got like some. I got like mustard and she like did you get like tomato onion, like the? I'm like, okay, I'll go back. So I kind of go back. I'm like I just wanted to go for a little drive.
Speaker 2:I want to go back.
Speaker 1:I like the grocery store yeah, and then so I get back. I'm like, all right, we're good, we're done. Did you get the buns? I'm just like, I'm just that's. I showed up to my brother's wedding with the wrong pants. I want to say I mean, I'm outing myself here.
Speaker 2:I want to say I don't understand, but I've done all of that.
Speaker 1:Here's one that you probably haven't done. Back to Christmas and my love of Christmas. I forgot all of the Christmas presents from my family at home and drove to Kingston four hours away, and as I was getting in, I was like, oh my God, and it was Christmas Eve and I was like I think I remember everything I got. We're going to do a quick circuit, we're gonna buy everything again. I'm gonna tell my family about it because they're gonna think this is hilarious, and then we're gonna return everything when we get back.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I did that too I may not have done that, but I have definitely come flown out places to do podcasts and forgot podcast equipment yeah like just straight up, didn't pack it yeah.
Speaker 1:So I mean there's I'll, yeah, I'll find myself in a room. I'm like why am I here? I have to like, like so for all this, whatever resume. I'm like I'm just silly sometimes and I think that's just the visionary add mindset of, like most visionaries I'm sure have.
Speaker 2:Add yeah, and that's why we're visionaries, because we can float up in the clouds in our brain and just drift off into where do I want to be in six years. Where someone that's more rigid and systematic is like I need to figure out what's in front of me right now, like I can't look past this, where we're like oh, I can look right around. I was going like this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's funny. I never like, I never thought of my. I didn't really struggle with school. I got bored with school sometimes but I don't have anything diagnosed or never thought of myself that way. But when I get around a lot of entrepreneurs, there's a lot of, there's a lot of commonalities yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not to say everybody has it, but I think everybody has. Like there's a certain quality to visionaries that like it mirrors those symptoms. Cause, like I tell my wife all the time she's like, how do you not take care of this thing right in front of you? And I'm like it's real simple. You just do this and then I just look out that way, right, and then you know out, there is like where I want to look. I want to look at what's happening a year from now.
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't care happening one minute from now, like I could create a couple of things over here. The laundry will be there when I get back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll fold that up when I'm done. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:In like six weeks. Cool, I feel seen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do too. Like my Christmas tree, that stays up eight months out of the year. I just took our Christmas lights down this week. Yeah, if I didn't hire someone to put up and take off the christmas lights, they'd be there year round. Right, I have no interest in going back up there again you wanted to talk about the house.
Speaker 1:Maybe this is a segue. We, uh, we had to. We got like we had to get sawed put in and everything. Um, we put in a ground sprinkler system that's automated and then we got people to come and cut the grass. I just it's what we've built is too nice for me to take care of it I grew up with a dad that was very into um backyards.
Speaker 2:Like he was that 80s and 90s dad. Yeah, it was like a 7 am on a saturday.
Speaker 1:You hear that lawnmower rev and you're like fuck yeah, right, I can hear my dad right now like, step on the grass, go around right, and so we spent every week lots of weekends picking up leaves yeah mowing lawns yeah, dude, blowing out like sidewalks, all that shit.
Speaker 2:So when I became a homeowner, I turned to my wife and I said I will never do it. We're hiring someone from day one and I think, with our property now, there's no way I could keep up on it it is way too big, way too many fancy plants and shrubs and shit that I don't know. The first thing about taking care of kind of mitt.
Speaker 2:Like I, I like mowing the lawn I don't mind mowing a lawn, but like I, the rest of it is like I couldn't sure kill it all yeah, yeah, I just don't, I don't, I don't like maintaining things, I just don't.
Speaker 1:I know that it's a weakness of mine, so like where we can you know?
Speaker 2:um, we'll, we'll hire it out, yeah and that's something important too right, you're buying back your time yeah, and that's something I think we forget. With money and I will say this till I am in the ground Money can. If you're already happy and satisfied with your life, money can amplify that a million times over. But if you're unhappy, unsatisfied, not living a life that you enjoy, money will do nothing to help that.
Speaker 2:Zero, Like it will not change anything I can get behind that and so when I tell people, yeah, I have a, I have a gardening team, I have this guy, I have a guy that puts up christmas lights, I have a guy that does this, I have cleaning people, I have an assistant, I have a house manager, I have all these oh, must be nice. And I'm like you know, you know what's nice? Is that all these things I fucking hate. I don't have to think about, right, that's what's nice. Is that I? I built a life to where I can pay to make all these things. That would literally make me want to jump swan dive off the second story of my house go away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, and it, the, the must be nice thing like there's. I'm sure that that gets said to people that have all that stuff and are deeply unhappy, yep, and what's their answer? Right, and then someone says that to you and you're like, yeah, I'm inside working on my podcast, or I'm like in the garage, in my garage gym working out with my boy, yeah, and, and that lights me up and like there's a. It's not like the must be nice, should really like there should be a follow-up to that. That's like must also been a lot of work. Yeah, and like like must have been hell to get and kind of scary sometimes that like you know, like we, we get our house clean once every two weeks as well, um, because then it's fairly manageable. It's like it's these aren't crazy sums of money, like people blow money on all sorts of stupid shit, right, and uh, yeah, I don't know like, and you got an incredible judgment. There's weird judgment that goes around I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't remember if it was you or lacy. I think lacy designed most of the she was like the design work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was like start to finish and it's beautiful, like yeah, it's yeah, your house is out of control.
Speaker 2:You guys built a custom house a handful of years ago.
Speaker 1:Right, it's been a few years now so again, there's a little bit of backstory. We were living in Lacey's parents house for almost three years, so from 2010 to like 2013,. When we opened the gym, when I started teaching all of it, we were kids, we had no money, we were buttoned up against. Like it's just, you know, when you're kids and you're not sort of self sufficient yet, like you know, after three years, it's like when are we gonna have our space back? You know that type of stuff. And I remember this house came up around the corner.
Speaker 1:So her whole family's in real estate. Her dad owned, has owned a real estate company since like I don't, he doesn't fully manage it now, but it's since like 1983. He's done all sorts of crazy stuff. And then some of our siblings are in real estate and so there's a house right around the corner coming up. They're like it's, you know, it's a little cottage, but it's on this pond, it's an awesome piece of property and it's coming up on Monday. It's Friday right now. It's coming up on Monday. Get your ducks in a row and buy it. And we're like how do we do that with no money, right? And so they took us around and showed us all the comparable houses and everything. It was listed at $289, which is like non-existent these days. It would be like triple even for what it was. So this is also to say that we got in a good time, which has allowed us to do some of the stuff that we've done.
Speaker 1:Um, but, yeah, her brothers her brother and sister put their commission back to us, helped with the down payment. Her dad had a friend that owned a business, put lace on fake payroll for a while should we so we could show income, and then we had to pay all that back and pay the tax on it as well. And then we had a while so we could show income, and then we had to pay all that back and pay the tax on it as well. And then we had this house that we could afford because it was a pretty minimal mortgage, but we couldn't show income from our gym yet, which there was not that much, but there was enough to, you know, handle a $650 a month mortgage or whatever it was. So that's how we got that piece of property and, um, it's funny, her sister was like her sister was the visionary of this. She's like 10 year plan, knock it down and build, and when you have no money and this is your first house. You're like okay, like it kind of sticks in your head.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't really believe it yet, but it's like in there it.
Speaker 1:It's rolling around Right. And the craziest thing is what we moved in in August of 2023 was like, right at the end of August, it was like 10 years and two months, so almost, and we would it would have been sooner. We looked at, we were, we tried to start building, like, right as COVID hit, like we're almost there, we had you know drawings and all that stuff. Right as COVID hit, like we were almost there, we had you know drawings and all that stuff, but yeah, so there's delays and stuff to it, but it just so. Then the dips of COVID and then you know, jolene said in her talk, just as I was walking out, like you know, raise your hand if, like COVID was the best thing that happened to us.
Speaker 1:It's like there's all sorts of crazy, like it's a it's a hard time time, but it was like a reset and it was it. We we've got 10 years of lessons in a year and so, anyway, like fast forward, we're doing okay again. And then it's time where it's just we're years further, the investments are doing well, and we we ended up being able to build something a little crazier than we expected I mean, you guys have done an amazing thing with that and then, tack on that, you now have two kids.
Speaker 2:How old is the baby?
Speaker 1:Three and a half months. Three and a half months, february 19th, yeah it hasn't been long.
Speaker 2:You guys have been through an extraordinary journey to get there. Yeah, I don't know how much you want to talk about that. I'm open book. Sure, do you want to kind of just break down like what that has been like? It's been a long and arduous journey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, if you hadn't realized, my stories can get drawn out a little bit, so I'll just go like I'll just I'll give a brief overview and then you can dig into whatever part. So, seven miscarriages, four initial ones, before we went into a fertility clinic for the first time, realized that carrying probably wasn't going to happen, looked into all alternatives which, like you, just know nothing about these things until you need to Told Lace's family about it. Her sister's like, like I'll do it, carried my son. It worked first. Try he. Yeah, so he was born in um july of 2021, when he was four months old. We signed up with uh, so she was like one and done. Like we didn't ask her to do that.
Speaker 2:and you, it's not something you ask, I mean secondly, shout out to your sister-in-law Like that's such a cool thing to just be like I got this Incredible and they'll like share a bond forever, right.
Speaker 1:When he was four months old, we signed up with a surrogacy online Canada which like, again, it's basically you pay eight thousand dollars for a membership for a year. It's very protected, like it's. It's different in the states than it is in canada. It's in the states. It's like just more money, like you can just basically pay for it. Right, with this it's a little bit more protected, um, and but it basically puts you in this like it's like an online dating pool, like you're trying to match intended parents, surrogates, right, um, and we had a couple of calls that just like didn't work out.
Speaker 1:That went really well. And then we had this one girl that we seemed familiar to her for whatever reason, um, and we tried with her twice. Um, she moved across the country in the middle of it, which was really challenging, and we had to like fly her and her kids back and forth for these things and for appointments, and we miscarried with her twice. So that was we're up to six now, and then, shortly after her, lace miscarried again, and then we got our dog Rexx, as a little companion to leonardo and then last, actually on leonardo's birthday. My family was all down and she.
Speaker 1:She told me that weekend she's like I'm pregnant, which, coming from where we had come from, is not exciting it should elicit excitement but given the six certain, not the case nah, we, we'd, we, so we'd gotten to the point of a heartbeat, I think, like four times in those six, three or four times, um, and yeah, you're hopeful, but excitement, and like let's build the nursery and let's start picking out names, like all like, kind of like, if you've not experienced any of this stuff, like just how the path goes, um, that wasn't ours, so, uh, but we went to these appointments and they're like yeah, it's all good, it looks strong. We're like, excuse me, what right? And like, okay, cool, and like we know, like you know, we'd seen the hcg numbers dropping, like we're on the lookout for, like like are you, you know? Like before they tell us like we can kind of pick up on their body language and stuff like this and it was all just good and it just was good the whole way through. And so she's got what's called a unicorn uterus.
Speaker 1:It's like, basically one side, just like didn't develop. She found out this out at 32 years old. Left kidney no, left kidney either.
Speaker 2:Wild, like world-class athlete, and you find this out in your 30s out there outlifting people with two kidneys and then like normal functioning body sure like yeah yeah, and so.
Speaker 1:So, when we found this out, like this was, this was like after the four, um, the stats aren't, are not good, like not, but but there's also success stories and so so, like I remember, after we we miscarried with the surrogate the second time, she's like I just don't believe I, that I'm not capable of doing like I don't believe that's the case, like you. Just I want to keep trying. I'm like it's hard, like it's I don't know, there there's, I'm sure that there's. Like you know, I can't like upset, even thinking about it at this point, but like losing a kid, once you have them, my God, you just don't get to build the relationship. But it's still. It's just upsetting because, especially now, it's like these are all, like these little guys or girls that could have been right, yeah, and I was like, hey, if we've got one now and like this, this whole journey is incredible, and if we got to go through this seven more times like I'm on board. And then it worked, the next try, and she carried.
Speaker 2:So I mean, how do you go through this like insane roller coaster, I can't even fathom myself and manage a business. And you're a two brain mentor and you're you've got your own fitness, yeah, to take care of. And you built a custom home and you, you know.
Speaker 1:Here's the resume. It's a different kind of resume, I guess. So I had Sean Mcen on my podcast last week, I think. I think I got a have I had a couple of thoughts on it? I don't know. Honestly, I don't like what. What's the alternative? Like you just shell up, like that's just not me.
Speaker 2:Um, so fortunately, a lot of people take that choice I mean, maybe that's my superpower um, I think most of us in two brain, in tinker, made the opposite choice, and that's why we're where we're at yeah, yeah, I mean there's something to be said for leaning in.
Speaker 1:You know, um, so some of my thoughts go to like it. So it actually it. It made me understand people a lot more, like I mean, I've coached people in various forms my almost like most of my life but it just made me realize like there's things that people have going on that you have no idea about, and and like it's it's like why they act the way they do and just like, give them some grace. You know why they act the way they do and just like give them some grace. You know, um, and and and then the all the other side of that was like my, I have a duty to like take care of people and like the you know it's not to say so.
Speaker 1:In my head it's the. The sort of tagline in my head is nobody cares. Yeah, not in a bad way, not in a way that, like you know you wouldn't be. Like jay, that's like give me a hug and like console me or whatever, but where, when I need it. But like at the end of the day, like I have a job to do and and like you can't, that's when you, if you just show up eventually those things, your opportunities go away and so I use this room.
Speaker 2:Life doesn't care. Sure, life is gonna keep moving yeah, the world right.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, so, so there's that. And then, um, sean asked me a bunch about my parents and and so my, my mom, my I, when I was in high school, my mom lost both of her parents and her sister to, so her parents old age and her sister to suicide in the same year. Yeah, yeah, and I like, and her sister lived with us for a while before, like before, kind of like trying to get back on her feet. I'm like I a kid, I don't quite understand these things at the time, um, but I just never really saw her like complain or or like really like you know.
Speaker 1:So Sean's question, where he's like what he's like, you know he likes to dig, and he's like, well, what's like something that you would like tell your parents that you've never told them. And I I'm like fuck Okay, like tell your parents that you've never told them. And I'm like fuck Okay, like we're going here, uh, and so it was like, basically to my mom, it was like that you don't have to just like it's okay to not be okay, like there's no way that you were okay during those times and like I don't really remember talking about it much, you know, and I'm not. I'm sure my parents did, but like I don't know. And and but like it also taught me this, like resiliency, that like she showed up as mom every day.
Speaker 2:I think it's. It's just a really great um. Look into the importance that people have to remember. Like you, regardless of what's going on in your life, you have a responsibility to the people that rely on you and yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like there's a strength that is required for you to be the person you signed up to be when you had kids and you, you know, said you're going to do these things in this world. Like there's a certain like you I think resilience is the perfect word for it that is required If you're going to do these things in this world.
Speaker 1:Like there's a certain like you.
Speaker 2:I think resilience is the perfect word for it. That is required if you're going to live up to the expectations that you have in society as a parent, as a, you know, a caretaker. If there's anybody in your life you care about, you're a caretaker period because you care about them, so you have a duty to care, take to a certain degree, um and I think that's amazing because I think you're right, you know, like, looking back, no one knows what you're going through. Obviously people close to you will, because you're going to talk to someone.
Speaker 1:I hope, yeah, yeah, for sure, and, and, and. But they don't experience it with you, you know like you still got to show up, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, that's, that's amazing, and I think, it's true. I mean, I want to respect your time, so I have one last question for sure.
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm, I'm. I'll do this as long as you want. I love it.
Speaker 2:We will probably come back and do a second episode. I said there's a lot left on the table, but, like, what's one thing thing if you were going to talk to people gym owners or not listen to this podcast. They're struggling one of these three major facets of their life business, family or health. Maybe they're struggling with something that you've gone through the fertility or, um, financial. What's like just one sage piece of advice you would give that maybe you wish somebody had told you back in, say 2015, when you're just you hadn't found that money yet I don't know if it's back that, so what?
Speaker 1:what's in my mind is that it's it's, it's along the same lines as that lean in and show up. It's that everything that you want is on the other side of the things you're afraid of. Right, like, whether that is. I mean it's. It's. It's me as a shy, introverted kid, having to learn how to like be a leader. It's not knowing shit about how to run a business but having a ton of passion for the industry that you're in and helping people and having to like shell out a bunch of money and realize that you're a beginner. It's about, um, I mean Lace and I have have done a lot of work on I mean we got together as, like I mentioned, we've been together like 18 years um, doing doing like couples therapy with her and just just becoming better communicators and better for each other.
Speaker 1:Right, all of these things are they're scary at times and they're they're not. They're not like they're not, but they're not like they're not, they're. It's. The fucking story is scary that you're telling yourself before and then you get into it. You're like, oh, people are helpful and like, getting to the other side of this stuff is good. Right, this guy on my shoulder right here, right the like, this is into the storm. Right yeah, the buffalo into the storm yeah.
Speaker 1:Right the story with them that they're the only animal that they their. Nature is to go through the storm, because they know that they get. You know storm comes this way. They take it head-on, they get through it quicker that's yeah, that's crucial.
Speaker 2:I think that's really important too. You, like you said, I think too many times in our lives, um, the people that didn't make it through the toughest times were the ones that ran from the storms consistently in their lives.
Speaker 1:They didn't take anything out of them there, and there's the thing is there's nothing that that I can say, or it's so. I love this because it's connecting and it's not gonna. It's not gonna get someone. What I say is not gonna get someone through their thing, but they're gonna be like oh, he has it too. Oh, he has it too. They go through hard shit too. And then then now it's like maybe I can do that. You can't do it for them. Right, there's um another legendary chris podcaster, chris williamson, right, modern wisdom. Um, he talks about, like the, the 2D lessons and 3D lessons. Like there's all these like unteachable lessons he calls and like there, you just have to learn them for yourself. Like someone can run you through the whole gamut of it, but like you don't experience it until you. Now you experience it. Now it's 3D.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 2:Right and so there, but there's, there's value to just talking and sharing and connecting experience is one of the greatest teachers, and you don't have to have the same experience as someone else to be able to relate to them and be able to. For someone to be able to take your story and go holy shit, I'm in, I'm in the mud, something similar. He just gave me hope, which draws back to exactly what coop opened today with, which is, in the end, the number one thing you need if you're going to get through any storm is just a little bit of hope.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean between him and Joey Coleman this morning. I was like I'm good, I'm good for the weekend. Man, even Chris is like I was not ready for how good Joey was. But Coop, I I've been around this stuff forever. I've been to a lot of summits, I'm in a very family centered, just challenges. We've had to let a staff member go, just like there's a lot going on where I haven't necessarily been like opportunity, opportunity, opportunity, right, I don't know what the stuff he was talking. It's just like, hey, just meet people where they're at and you, you got so much to offer them, right. Um, before we wrap up too, I want to give you a shout out for like just the, the top golf stuff, the the white socks last year. Like, um, you're, you're just showing up and connecting people and putting things together and it's uh, it's, it's inspiring, um.
Speaker 1:We do a similar thing with our Christmas party, where it started a lot smaller and it's turned into us buying dinner for like 105 people and renting out a place and a DJ. Now it's like a thing you got to prepare for. But I was talking with the guys last night. I'm like you know, like they're like this is really all taken care of. I'm like Chris does this kind of stuff, man.
Speaker 1:Like I was at the steakhouse the one night when, like you know, there was like 30 people there and they're like, yeah, chris picked up the bill and you were gone. It was just like batman, right and and I and. But I didn't even realize, I didn't even realize the christmas bar. I was like I guess I got my own little one. Like that, I do like that too, and it's just I I brought up to my coach and she's like it just makes that, like it gets people together and and people talk about our, our christmas party. Like they're like right, you, you're going to a Christmas party for your gym, yeah, and like it's, we run a killer party, man, it's fun and people don't gotta worry.
Speaker 2:There's no barrier to show up. Right, I realized a few years ago, my superpower is connecting people, so I realized.
Speaker 2:I just need to dig into that and I'm like, like you said, your little thing is the Christmas party of the people you're connecting in that room. It's not little, it you're connecting in that room. It's not little, it's a big thing, right, yeah, so for me it feels little to do top golf like cool yes, I'm lucky, I'd, financially I can do this but in reality it's a big thing to the people that are there because, like, there was 20 guys from europe that have never been to a top well, they even know what the fuck it was I've never been to one right.
Speaker 2:So it's like you know, there's so many people that were there, they'd never even seen a top golf. I think at least 10 people said they'd never touched a golf.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's not just the networking One of the Europeans is looking up golf gloves now.
Speaker 1:Maybe I want to do this.
Speaker 2:But you know, for me it's like I get to see everybody get together and connect and learn, and I do too in a ton too, it's valuable for me?
Speaker 2:yeah, absolutely and that's what matters. So like people got to find that thing. It doesn't have to be huge if it's literally a free event. Come to the park and just hang out as a bunch of dads while your kids play and swap stories on how you parent and things you do to engage with your kids. It can take $0 to connect people and create value for each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:You're an example.
Speaker 1:You're an example.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:The world needs more people that show up like that.
Speaker 2:I look forward to it every year, because every year I want to do something fun and hang out with people I enjoy being around. I don't get to see all the time, so it's awesome.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm glad to be.