Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Train for Great Life. Today I'm going to talk about a mindset shift that's had a huge impact on how I see the world, how I deal with setbacks, curveballs or just stuff that doesn't go to plan. It is what helps turn losses into wins for me quickly, and it's the idea that life isn't happening to you. It is happening for you. On paper sounds pretty cliche. I'm going to give you two examples me quickly. And it's the idea that life isn't happening to you. It is happening for you On paper sounds pretty cliche. I'm going to give you two examples, very real examples for me, and let's talk about the difference, so, between seeing something as a loss and then finding a win. That's like buried inside of it. The examples I'm going to use are what is front and center for me right now. It's my boys and parenthood.

Speaker 1: 0:48

Growing up, I always thought I would have kids young. I don't know why. I just that's what I envisioned. I thought it would be so cool to be the young dad, still super athletic, active, full of energy, ripping around with my kids like kind of while I'm in my prime. That was this vision. I had this mental timeline, like by the time I'm 50, I'll have kids that are in their 20s, maybe, you know, starting to get into their own adult lives and of course it is not what happens. Not at all. I'm 41 now. I am athletic, I am active and I am full of energy, am athletic, I am active and I am full of energy. But I'm also 41. I have a four year old and a five month old and so I'm not the young dad. I am a little bit more seasoned. I have a few more creaks than I did in my 20s and it's just not sort of what I this vision that I had when I was younger. Now again, I've had a lot of time to process that and change it along the way, but I could have looked at, like, what didn't happen and seen it as a miss. But I've learned to reframe it, not because it's easy, it's because it is powerful. I have to look for the wins right, so the wins are more established. My wife and I are stronger, wiser, more grounded than we were a decade ago. I get to raise my boys from a place of stability and tension and presence that I might not have had back then and you know I can say definitely did not have back then, I can't say for sure how life would have gone, but I can say that I love how it is going.

Speaker 1: 2:23

Another example, same world parenthood. When we did eventually have Leonardo, we really hoped for a sibling and we wanted them to be close in age. The dream was to have, you know, maybe more than two, but, you know, have them close in age, thick as thieves, sharing things at the same time, doing sports together, kind of being inseparable, you know. But life has a different plan. Our boys are three and a half years apart, which isn't massive, but it's enough that they won't be in the same phases at the same time.

Speaker 1: 2:56

The win and what I'm focused on Leonardo, our oldest, got three and a half beautiful years of undivided attention and we got to truly know him on his own. Now that he's older, we get to involve him in the process of being a big brother. He understands way more what's happening. He's thoughtful and helpful. He's not a toddler competing for attention. He's part of the team. That wouldn't have been the case if things have gone, or if things went how we sort of originally imagined. Right, and that's the thread that I keep pulling on.

Speaker 1: 3:32

What if this delay was a gift. What if this loss was a setup for something better? You don't have to love the hard thing that you're going through in your life, but if you can find a way to figure out what's the win here, you start to be, you start to shift from being a passive passenger in your life to being the author and the driver. So, if you're listening, think about something in your life right now or in the past that didn't go how you expected. Plan that fell through, goal that took longer. You know a moment that felt like a loss.

Speaker 1: 4:09

Where's the win? Maybe it taught you patience. Maybe it protected you from something that you didn't even know was coming. Maybe it led you to something that's actually better. The quicker you can start to see the win, the hidden opportunity, the better off you will be can start to see the win, the hidden opportunity, the better off you will be, because your mindset and how you view things and how you show up is the real strength. This is how you train for a great life. Thank you for listening. Till next time, keep showing up, keep looking for the win, and I will see you in the gym.