From Limiting Beliefs to a Liberating Life

What if the beliefs you hold about yourself are the very chains holding you back? Uncover the mystery of how limiting beliefs, often formed in the innocence of childhood, can cast long shadows over our lives. In this episode of the Inside OUT podcast, Jojo delves into the profound impact on our lives. She emphasizes that these beliefs often stem from childhood experiences and can manifest in various aspects of life, leading to self-sabotage. Jojo shares her personal journey of confronting her own limiting beliefs, particularly the belief of not being enough, and discusses the importance of addressing these beliefs rather than ignoring them. She offers practical tools for listeners to identify and reframe their limiting beliefs, encouraging a journey of self-discovery and growth.

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Transcript

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Jojo (00:07.16)
Welcome to the Inside Out podcast. I'm your host Jojo, and this is where we'll navigate the mess together that is mental, emotional, and spiritual. Let's get into it.

Jojo (00:26.58)
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Inside Out. This week I wanted to discuss limiting beliefs and how our thoughts really do shape our reality and how the way that we think about ourselves ultimately can either be self -sabotage or what really helps us get to the next level in our lives. I think this is a really common topic and I wanted to approach this from a way through it rather than a way around it because I think a lot of things are

just, how do we get over this? it's, for me lately, I'm learning that there's no such thing as getting over something or like if you just brush it under the rug or sweep it to the side or just ignore it, like it doesn't go away. It's gonna come back probably with a vengeance and rear its ugly head. And then you're just gonna have to face it again. And what I'm noticing for myself is these limiting beliefs that I have have stemmed all the way back.

from childhood and they keep coming up in different scenarios in my life, whether it's in my work, in my day to day or with my relationships or what have you, but they're not going anywhere. And unless we address them at their core, they're never going to go anywhere. And I was having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine the other day and she was like, yeah, but Jojo, how do you actually...

change these things? Like how do you actually go to that limiting belief and really understand it? And then like, how do you actually change that? And I shared with her something that my dad taught me when I was a kid. And he would teach me this when I would be stressed out about something or feeling like not good enough or whatever it was. But at its core, it really is a way to address these limited beliefs. Now, before I get to that little tool,

and addressing the mess of what limiting beliefs really do to our lives. Again, if you're new here, which a lot of you are because this is a new podcast, the mess I refer to is mental, emotional, and spiritual. So I'm going to approach this in a lot of different ways. And I might repeat myself in different ways, but ultimately it's to get this point across and hopefully reframe the way that we live our lives and live them

Jojo (02:52.694)
a little less limited. Okay, so the most common limiting beliefs out there are I'm too old, I'm not old enough, I don't have experience, I'm not smart enough, I don't have enough money, I don't have enough time, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not healthy enough. I mean, there's so many and those are just to name a few. Mine is I'm not good enough. Can anyone relate? I'm sure a lot of people can. The way I figured out what

this was and where this came from was I took this limiting belief and I wrote it down. I'm not enough. And then I wrote down every area of my life that I feel like I'm not enough in. And let me tell you, it was every area of my life, every single one. Relationships, you betcha, my work. for sure. This podcast, a thousand percent, showing up for my friends.

There's so many ways that we get in our own way and self -sabotage. And it truly comes down to this one thing that we have the ultimate power to change. I have five and a half pages of limiting beliefs. I'm literally sitting here looking at my notebook right now and I wrote down everything from like, I'm not enough to I have nothing to bring to the table to my work is unstable to I have to struggle in order.

to be successful, like all of these beliefs that like I'll never be able to support myself. I mean, this is all insane and this is all not real, but this is what our minds tell us in order to keep us stuck. Change is really uncomfortable. And when we change, there's a whole plethora of newness that comes with that. And I'm someone who struggles with the unknown quite a bit. So when there's a big change, the unknown

freaks me out. So sometimes people stay stuck in these limited beliefs because they're so afraid of change and something new, but it's a dichotomy, right? Because if you don't change your limiting belief, you're never actually going to achieve something. But if you already truly believe that to your core that, I'm never going to be successful. I'm never going to be able to make that much money. I'm never going to find my soulmate. You're safe.

Jojo (05:18.582)
in a way because you're already fulfilling that prophecy. And there's no way that you can fail at it because you didn't put any effort in to even try. And failure can be painful, which is another reason people stay stuck in these limiting beliefs. And another thing is like, someone might want to be really successful, right? And start a business and, but then they...

then they stop themselves because they realize, well then I'm gonna have more responsibilities. I'm gonna have to hire more people. That's more work for me. I have more risk of failure. If I make a bunch of money, then I can lose a bunch of money. It's like the fall is so much greater than if you just stay in the same place. If your feet are on the ground, you can't fall very far. But if you start climbing that ladder, you have so much more room to hurt yourself. So these limiting beliefs are crippling.

because they keep us stuck in exactly the same place and they actually block our evolution and our growth. And the minute that we get under these limiting beliefs and we dig them up from the root and figure out why we feel this way, then the easier it is for us to actually excel in the things that we want to do in our lives. So we're going to unpack mine.

And this is going to be a little scary for me because I'm going to be very open and vulnerable with this one. And it's not something that I've been very comfortable sharing. actually has brought up a lot of emotion when I've admitted this to people or let someone into this thought process. So hopefully by me sharing this, this gives you the ability or the

the strength to maybe look at your limiting beliefs and hopefully do the same because at the end of the day, no one deserves to be stuck in a repetitive cycle or a thought pattern that they're not enough. Well, that's mine, but that they're never going to be successful. They're never going to be wealthy. They're never going to be happy. They don't deserve happiness. There's all of these beliefs that we really can rewire.

Jojo (07:36.994)
but it takes work. It takes a lot of reflection and awareness. And I'll be real with you, it's not easy. And I think we can all agree that nothing in life that really is worth it comes easy. And I know that sounds like, well, I need to like struggle to be successful, which is one of my limiting beliefs. But I mean that in the way that if you don't actually put in any effort to the things that you want,

Don't you just kind of feel like, well, what's the point? Like when you're a kid, if your mom hands you 20 bucks, it's like, cool, I got the 20 bucks. But like now if your parents like give you a handout, like if you need help with your rent or whatever that is, you're kind of like, well, dang, like that, that doesn't feel good. Like I wanted to be able to work for that myself. So we need to get to the other side of this limiting belief or these limiting beliefs, I should say, because if you're anything like me, you've got a

of them. But there's one core one that blocks you in every area. And I figured out what mine was because when I wrote the five pages of living beliefs of like everything that I feel like holds me back, I realized it all came down to really one category, which is, I've said this now three times or four.

I am not enough. Now, okay, Jojo, well, why do you think you're not enough? Where did this come from? Well, let's get into it. So bare bones, when I was a kid, I was bullied. We would be at recess or we would be in gym class or there would be like circus arts after school, like an extracurricular. I wasn't able to like really participate in sports without being in a lot of pain and having to stop. And that stems from

my spine. So when I was born, I was born with goleosis and then like growing up it like kind of solidifies in a way. Anyway, I was bullied because I wasn't able to like do certain things. So

Jojo (09:43.586)
Bottom line, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to like play basketball with my friends at recess. And now to talk about the struggle with my back as an adult. So now I have regular body work, chiropractic, PT, I work with a personal trainer and it's all in order to basically make me stronger so that my scoliosis doesn't actually limit me in my life. And...

some of you out there are probably thinking, it's just scoliosis. Like it's not a big deal. So many people live with this, blah, blah. For me, the back problems that I've had, like I remember there'd be days when I was a kid where I couldn't really get out of bed and go to school because I'd be having such bad back spasms. And I had to literally stay in bed all day. And even in college, I remember that happening a couple of times. And now,

because of the structural issues, have two disc issues in my lumbar spine. anyway, it's just, really does physically limit me and creates that, again, that narrative of like, I'm not enough. Like, why would anyone wanna, you know, invite me to go skiing or invite me to do anything like active because I'm probably not gonna be very fun. I might be in pain. They probably will feel bad.

that they invited me to do something. And it kind of like creates this perpetual cycle. One of my girlfriends owns a fitness studio. And when I go and I take her class, she's like, I just feel so bad. Like you can't do anything. And it makes me in a way be like, maybe I shouldn't go to her class because I'm making her feel like she's incompetent. When in reality, it's just, I need to modify a lot. But it's flipping that mindset and being like, well,

actually this is just the hand I was dealt. And instead of it stopping my life, because I could very much just like stop going to that workout studio, because I don't want to make her feel bad. Or I could just say, hey, look, I love your class. I feel really good when I come out of your class. It's just, I do have to modify because of my structural issues and I know my body and I have to have a different approach. I'll be very real with you. When I was home over Christmas,

Jojo (12:03.712)
I was sitting on the couch, I was playing board games with my friends and I was just sitting on the couch in probably just like leaning forward and whatever position, like nothing crazy. And I stood up after hours of playing board games and my lower back completely locked out. And I was in pain for like a month after that. I got an MRI. That's when I found out I had two disc bulges in L4 and L5.

and they were basically hitting descending nerves. And it's just because of the way that my body was, I wasn't, you know, being as cognizant with my routine and my workouts. It was the holidays. I completely slipped and put myself into a lot of pain and caused myself even more issues just from sitting on the couch playing board games.

Now that sent me into a complete spiral of like, wow, I can't even sit and play board games with my friends. can't even like, like I feel so stuck that I can't even like do anything. And because I was bullied as a kid for it and because that carried through my entire life, it made me really feel like I wasn't good enough. And now I'm projecting that out onto every aspect of my life being like, well,

I'm not enough, like I'm not gonna be able to do this, like why would I be able to like, whatever. With this limiting belief of I'm not good enough because of the back stuff and because of the bullying, I'll be very real with you guys. I reached a point in this last year where I was like, am I gonna even be able to have children with the amount of physical pain I'm in on a day -to -day basis? Am I gonna even be able to carry a kid without like,

maybe being on bed rest, all of these thoughts creep into my mind. And then when it comes to dating and relationships, I think, well, why would anyone want to be with me if they're gonna have to deal with this? Like who would sign up for this? And that's really hard. And that's really scary for me to admit out loud. I think maybe three people until right now knew that that was even a thought in my head, but I really do feel

Jojo (14:25.802)
like that could be a reality. And now you can argue that, the right person will never do that. No one's ever going to really think that if they're the right for you, that's not going to be the case. But that limiting belief holds me back from even getting close to someone, from really showing them all parts of me and wanting to maybe appear perfect, like everything's good, everything's fine, instead of being

vulnerable and authentic and real and raw and saying, look, this is something that I really struggle with. This is something that's a part of my life. I started getting cupping done about three years ago. And when I first got it done, I was so embarrassed because I was like, my God, people are gonna know that I'm different. People are gonna know that I'm like broken. And I remember I was in this relationship and

I didn't want my boyfriend to see my back with the cupping marks on it. And I was so weird about it. And I essentially like kind of pushed him away and didn't let him get close to me because I didn't want him to see that flaw in me or that reality in me. I don't even know if I want to call it a flaw because it's just, it's just part of me. And it just really made me feel again, like I'm not, I'm not enough. And like, why would he ever want to be with me?

So yeah, these limiting beliefs can really keep us stuck and paralyzed in a reality that we don't want to be in. And even when it comes to like my modeling work and my acting, it really does hold me back. And I think subconsciously, I might go into that audition and not do as good of a job because I don't believe I'm enough. So why would they ever believe I'm enough? If I'm already telling myself, well, I'm probably not going to get it.

I'm not setting myself up for any success because I'm actually letting the rejection happen before they've even had a chance to make up their own mind about whatever that is. And I've already put up guardrails instead of just being like, no, I'm going to go in and do the best work I can and shine the brightest and be exactly who I am. And if they want to go in a different direction, that's okay. It has nothing to do with me. But the reality is,

Jojo (16:49.718)
And I actually had someone call me on this a couple of years ago that I'm not giving it my all because I'm so scared of them rejecting me that I make it impossible for them to reject me because I reject myself first. And I take myself out of the running by not producing the best work or giving the best audition or just having the energy of like, yeah, I am enough. I know my worth. So how do we change these limiting beliefs?

How do we actually get through them? Because again, like I said in the beginning, it's not about getting over them. It's not about just being like, okay, push it to the side. Because as I mentioned, this is gonna come up in so many different aspects. If you believe this, it's gonna be in every area of your life. And I just named like three. I named the stuff with my friends. I relationship stuff. I named the career stuff. And it's just that one belief that I'm not enough. Okay, great. So.

The stuff that happened when I was a kid is never gonna change. That's just the way it is. But how do I really understand it and push through so that this doesn't become the narrative and the self -sabotaging undercurrent of the rest of my life? A lot of the times when we're in the throes of emotion, we aren't able to get clear on really how we're feeling or what we're thinking. This is the tool that my dad taught me when I was a kid.

And it's basically you put all those thoughts behind doors and you deal with them one at a time so that there's not a gazillion things happening. And you just lay there and you imagine each problem you have or each limiting belief is behind these doors. And you go and you open the door and it's like, wow, you're probably gonna be in pain for your whole life. You're not gonna have kids. You're not gonna be loved. No one's gonna like wanna do anything fun with you. That's all behind one door, right?

And then you go, okay, so what can I actually do in order to change that? Like, I can find a pain management specialist, I can work with a PT doctor, I can work out with a personal trainer, I can work with someone who really understands my body in a very granular way that can change the way that I show up to my life. So in order to address this mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, to get to the mess of it,

Jojo (19:11.53)
Mentally, first of all, it's writing all of these limiting beliefs down and good God, it is painful. I know it, but really the only way to uncover this is to shed light on it. So write all your limiting beliefs down, find the overarching theme. I'm a fraud, I'm an imposter, I don't deserve to be loved, whatever it is, figure out what that theme is. And then emotionally, figure out where it came from.

And a lot of the tools and a lot of the ways that I get to the bottom of things, for me, my way through is journaling because it really sorts out a lot. Another way that I sort things out, which is a little kooky, but I'm going to share it anyway, is I will take a walk. I'll put in AirPods so it looks like I'm on the phone and people don't think I'm absolutely crazy. And I will talk out loud. It's a way to really understand how your thoughts work, where they come from.

Maybe you're gonna get downloads, insights. And for me, it really just organizes everything. And then from the emotional standpoint, I have fully been able to talk myself out of everything. Because when you speak it out loud, you're acknowledging it, you're also taking away its power in a way, and you're addressing it. And you're also not addressing it against anyone else. You're not asking for other people's opinions. You get to hear your own voice, your own intuition.

figuring out like really what you need, how you really feel about it without bouncing it off anyone else. And I'm not saying you shouldn't bounce things off other people, for sure. There's a time and a place for your friends, your mom, your therapist, whomever. But for this specific tool to really understand for yourself, I like to figure it out out loud or...

You can also do this silently in journal and not be the crazy lady walking around the streets with AirPods and people think she's on the phone and she's actually not, she's just speaking out loud. So if you ever see me just like walking down the street and you're like, she may or may not be on the phone, 50 -50, right? Maybe you'll never know. But yeah, so emotionally it's understanding where this comes from. And if you can't figure it out, again, that's where the talking out loud comes from, where this stems from.

Jojo (21:25.678)
And once you emotionally address it spiritually, every single time that thought comes in, you have to have the opposite thought or a mantra of sorts. And this is where you rewire your brain. And whether that's putting sticky notes all over your apartment, like I did mine, not kidding. There's like 25 sticky notes all over my apartment that says, I am enough. I deserve this. I am going to be successful. Like every single note is all over my apartment. And I'm sure when people walk in, they're like, what?

the heck is going on with this girl? She must be insane. It really does help though, because anytime those thoughts creep in, I have the exact opposite virtually right in front of me. Whether that's your home screen on your phone, whether that's a little reminder every couple hours in your Google calendar, whether that's the sticky notes all over your apartment, there has to be a way that you are spiritually

understanding that it's not just, okay, I acknowledge that this is it and okay, it's not real. No, you have to actually like completely reframe it and give the exact opposite. Because if you don't, that little limiting belief is going to rule your life. And our thoughts really do shape our reality. If you think you're not enough, like I said before, I will show up in these auditions or show up to these jobs and essentially self -sabotage because I'm already

injecting that vibration that I'm not enough and people pick up on energy very, very quickly. So if you're not on your A game and you don't believe in your own worth, why would anyone else? But now that I know that this is a thought that I really need to repattern, that's where the work starts. And again, it's not easy, but it really does come down to a molecular level of changing that. And it is messy, but there is a way through it. And I hope that

through this, you're finding some tidbits, some answers, some ways to rethink. Maybe it's helping you reframe some internal battles that you're dealing with that are rippling out into the every days of your life. And this is going to be a topic that comes back in many different iterations. Like our limiting beliefs do, they come back in different packages. Everything in our lives we're going to start to notice starts and ends with us. And

Jojo (23:50.336)
If we aren't the catalyst to making the change in ourselves, it doesn't matter that you break up with that person or enter a new relationship or get a new job. You're still going to have the same limiting beliefs. You're still going to have the same exact narrative in yourself because until you rewrite that, nothing's going to change. It might just be a different chapter. It's going to look completely different. It might feel completely different. You might be like, I've escaped this. If you do any reflecting and you go back,

you'll notice you never escaped anything. It was always right there. It was just waiting under the carpet to rear its ugly head. So get messy, figure it out mentally, go through it emotionally, and then spiritually rewire that. So make sure you subscribe on Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts, share this with a friend, and don't forget to follow on Instagram at underscore inside out dot podcast. And I'll see you next week. Bye guys.