Your Personal Audit: What Stays, What Goes, What Changes

Time for a personal audit. What patterns, places, and versions of yourself need to change? A vulnerable conversation about real transformation and the cost of staying stuck.

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Transcript

Jojo (00:07.502)
Welcome to the Inside Out Podcast. I'm your host JoJo and this is where we will navigate the mess together that is mental, emotional, and spiritual. Let's get into it.

Jojo (00:26.925)
Welcome, welcome back if you're back. If you're new, thank you so much for tuning in and joining this little messy journey. Mess is the mental, emotional, and spiritual, and we break it down in different aspects and different conversations and different places in our life. So I'm gonna go in a few different directions today because there are several episodes from the past couple weeks that I think might be beneficial if you are just starting out with this one.

And if you haven't listened to them, that's totally fine. It's not like a prerequisite, but it might just be helpful for your own flow and understanding kind of like where you're at, because again, this is for you. So I'm going to share kind of where I'm at with a lot of things in my life right now and kind of peel back another layer, if you will, go and layer deeper into the onion to just sort of make a point and also

get real with you guys. So let's rewind for a second and talk about the two episodes that might be beneficial. So the first one is the four sneaky ways that we are sabotaging relationships. Now, those are all in the episode and I break them down, but they are blame, reliance, projection, and expectation. So in order to get deeper into that, I would go back and press play on that.

Anyway, the next episode was breaking the cycles. And we talked about how we see the cycle, how to interrupt it, and how to stop choosing the same, whether that's person or same job with a different title or same person with a different body or same type of friendship dynamic that drains you every single time and how to really choose differently. But here's what we didn't talk about. And that's what this whole episode is really going to be about. Recognizing the pattern is the first step, 100%.

Breaking the cycle and choosing differently is the second. But what's next? Where do we go from there, right? And I think actually this next step might be the hardest one. And it's changing your entire life to match who you're becoming. So there's different types of change. There's internal change, there's external change. And there's almost a marrying of both where it's who you are versus who you've been.

Jojo (02:53.903)
So the internal change is that pattern change, is choosing something differently in the moment for a different outcome to happen. The external change might be circumstantial, like changing a job or a relationship or a location. And the third is more of the identity change. It's realizing where you've been in your life and basically who you were.

and looking at who you're becoming and do those line up and do they match and does everything else kind of filter through that and align with it. So let me tell you a story. Well, actually, let me tell you my story. I have been in New York for 10 and a half years. I've built my life there. I had my entire twenties there. I went there for college and I stayed. And it really worked for me. The life I built there, the friends, the

career, all of it, was really supportive for a long time. However, several years ago, maybe like three and a half, things started to shift and I wasn't as happy as I had been. And there were certain elements that I wanted that I knew that I couldn't achieve by staying in that city. But the amount of time that I've spent there, it's not just a place. It has turned into my identity.

And somewhere along the way, I realized I was miserable. I've been so unhappy. in a way, I've been going through the motions and showing up for a version of myself and a version of my life that I have completely outgrown. And in the past three years, leaving has felt impossible. Didn't know how, didn't know what that would look like, didn't know where I would go, didn't know what I would do.

and how that would kind of unfold. There was a gap between realizing that something was making me so miserable and yet it was so familiar, therefore I wasn't changing anything. And I've had to get really honest with myself. In this past year specifically, and in the past eight months I'd say, even more specifically, I had asked myself a really hard question. And that question was, what is this costing me to stay? It's not just comfort. It's not just convenience. It was...

Jojo (05:20.591)
And it is almost costing me my joy, my peace. And I feel completely out of alignment. I feel so far from myself. I feel unhappy. I feel mad. And these aren't feelings that align with my essence. I'm not an angry person. I'm not miserable. And truly the answer to this question is it's going to cost me everything if I don't change.

because it's going to push away people, it's gonna take away opportunities, it's not gonna put me in the right vibration to align with the right things if I'm constantly unhappy. Because good things can't come to me if I'm hardened, if I'm stoic, if I'm closed down. And that's more or less the energy that I've been in. So the decision to leave, some people might say, you're running away from something.

But I don't see it that way. I see it as running toward a version of me that is waiting on the other side of this. The version of me that doesn't have to shrink to fit into a life that doesn't work for me anymore. And here's another thought. That kind of change, really shifting your foundation and leaving a city and what I'm talking about here, it's expensive and I'm not talking about financially. Well, though it that too.

I'm talking about emotionally and spiritually. Cause I'm breaking out of my comfort. I'm breaking into the unknown. I'm breaking an identity that I've held for 10 and a half years. It's something I've been holding onto kind of unnecessarily, but it's more expensive to completely lose my essence, my joy, my sanity, my happiness by not changing anything at all and by staying small. And that's when I realized it's going to cost me more.

if I stay. I've had to do a complete like life overhaul audit, if you will. I know that the past couple episodes we were talking about relationships and different types of patterns, but what if we flip those patterns and we say, I'm blaming myself. I have different expectations for my city. I have a reliance on the comfort that I've built. I'm blaming the city for my own happiness.

Jojo (07:43.09)
You can take those four sneaky ways that you're ruining any type of relationship, your relationship with a place you live, a human, a job, whatever. It doesn't have to be romantic. And check yourself. Go through that. Audit yourself. Rip into it. Rip it apart and look at it because this is where the realization will happen. And I want to talk about astrology for a second because what I find very fascinating is if I look at astrology, and I'm not talking about horoscopes, you guys.

If I look at really where the planets are, how that affects my birth chart, if you haven't listened to any of the astrology and you're like, what are you even talking about? Go back, I have an amazing series with where hell I borrow. We talk about your birth chart and the planets and like what those influences are. So I really noticed that when I'm in these big transitions and big changes and I'm about to like overhaul my whole life and shift something foundationally and destiny.

Shifting, I realize that this is cosmic, that this is bigger than me, that there's an energy that's not only influencing me, but supporting me through it. And that's why I want to touch on this because I think it's so important. We are about to wrap up the Year of the Snake. The Chinese New Year is next week, the 17th, I believe. And we are about to step into the year

of the fire horse. Now not going to get into all of that and what that really means, but essentially we're leaving a nine year and we're starting a one year. We're shedding our old skin. We're completely breaking out of everything that hasn't served us and starting fresh and on a foot that is really going to catapult us into new something, new territory, new worlds, new careers, new relationships, new opportunities, new abundance, new love.

Whatever you're really looking for, that's what this energy is going to be supporting. So when you imagine a snake shedding its skin, it leaves the skin. It doesn't say, I see the skin on the floor. I'm going to take it with me. So look at yourself, ask yourself, where are you holding onto things that truly no longer serve you? Where are you holding onto that skin that you either have shed and you're just still carrying it around in your purse or

Jojo (10:08.063)
thinking about it mentally, but what is that old version that doesn't suit you anymore? Is it a pattern that you haven't released? Is it a relationship? Is it a job? Is it, in my case, New York? And ask yourself, are you staying because of fear? Because you're too scared to make a shift, but it actually doesn't align with you? It's so easy to stay in that comfort zone, to cling to that version of yourself, because sometimes letting go just feels too scary. Completely changing your whole life feels

Terrifying moving to a new city. I'm in that place right now where I'm like, my gosh What am I doing? And it's kind of like a freefall but cosmically this energy This whole shift that's happening right now the start of this new lunar year and What that means is the perfect time to really like pun intended but like giddy up and get on my way and not just me

You guys too. We don't need to be tiptoeing. We don't need to be half stepping. We want to be moving with intention right now, with fire, with truth. So ask yourself, personally audit, what does that version of you look like? If you weren't afraid, what would you change today? And what does the most aligned version of your life even look like? And I'm not asking you to like completely just throw everyone away, but some things do need to go. Some people, maybe it's habits.

Maybe it's just parts of your life, but we constantly need to be growing and evolving. We can't just take everything from our past with us, every version of ourself with us. We have to shed, we have to evolve, we have to grow. And that's what I'm asking you to really look at right now and to really figure out what the difference in that is. So let's get messy with this mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is your audit mentally. What pattern have you been avoiding changing? Maybe it's not a pattern.

What have you been avoiding changing emotionally? What is staying in that situation actually costing you? For me, again, if I stay in New York, first right now it's just my joy, my happiness, my spark, my sparkle. More that I hang onto this, the more that I'm unhappy, the more people aren't gonna wanna be around me, my friends are gonna get upset. It's just gonna be a ripple effect. And I do not wanna get there.

Jojo (12:29.947)
That's too expensive. The cost of losing the people that I love, not worth it. Spiritually, ask yourself what the most authentic version of you would do right now.

and then I want you to do it. I want you to trust yourself enough to make that move. Have that conversation. Maybe it's set a boundary, break up with someone. Gosh, for me, it's gonna be moving across the country. Figure out what your New York is. Real change isn't gonna be pretty, and it's not gonna be comfortable. But I promise you, it will be worth it. Really look in. Really ask yourself what that change needs to be, and then be it.

You guys know where to find me at underscore inside out dot podcast. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone. My favorite thing about podcasts is not seeing them on social media. It's having the conversation with people of like, what are you listening to? What changed your thought process on something? What is something that you think I need to hear right now? Maybe the friends you talk about podcasts with. Maybe send them this, maybe send them inside out, maybe send them this episode, or maybe there's a different episode that you want to share with them.

Either way, you might be really helping someone. Think about something from a different perspective. And even if you think, well, they're fine, you never know. They might know someone who needs to hear it as well. So with that being said, a beautiful week. Shed that old skin. Get up on that horse and giddy up into the future. And I'll see you all next week. Have a great week. Bye.