Inspired Living for Women: Conversations With Women Over 40

Debra Buhring on Healing Trauma and Mastering Stress Through Heart Coherence

• Lauri Wakefield • Episode 26

Share episode

In this episode of Inspired Living for Women, Debra Buhring shares her extraordinary journey from a high-achieving, trauma-carrying corporate lawyer to a heart math coach living a life of clarity, resilience, and purpose. Through a powerful conversation, Debra opens up about surviving Complex PTSD, walking away from a life built on people-pleasing, and discovering healing through craniosacral therapy and heart coherence. She explains how learning to regulate the nervous system and listen to the body’s innate wisdom—especially the heart’s—can unlock deep transformation. Her story is both sobering and inspiring, reminding us that true healing doesn’t require perfection—just the willingness to reconnect with what’s real.

Topics Discussed:

  • Debra’s path from corporate law to heart math coaching—and why she walked away from a life built on people-pleasing
  • The impact of Complex PTSD, chronic stress, and misdiagnoses on her body—and how she finally began to heal
  • How craniosacral therapy and heart coherence helped her process trauma and reconnect with her true self
  • How relocating to the Mediterranean reshaped her sense of home, belonging, and holistic wellbeing

Key Takeaways:

  • Healing isn’t about fixing—it’s about reconnecting with your body’s wisdom and honoring what it’s been through.
  • You can release decades of trauma when you find the right tools—especially ones that support the nervous system.
  • Heart coherence isn’t just a concept—it’s a powerful, science-backed way to regulate stress and transform health.
  • Living in alignment with your values can be one of the most healing choices you make.

Noteworthy Quotes:

“Wellness shouldn’t be a luxury. You shouldn’t have to have a nutritionist and a therapist and all these other things.”

“Craniosacral therapy was the most impactful thing I’ve ever done—it helped separate my childhood from my adulthood and gave me back my voice.”

“I think we tend to overcomplicate healing by chasing quick fixes. What we really need is consistency, common sense, and a return to what our bodies already know.”

Debra's Bio: Debra Buhring is a former corporate lawyer turned HeartMath® Building Personal Resilience Mentor, wellness advocate, and author of over a dozen books. A survivor of Complex PTSD and a lifelong traveler, Debra helps others transform adversity into purpose and live with greater clarity, resilience, and joy. Through her coaching, writing, and speaking, she offers a powerful reminder of what’s possible when we reconnect with ourselves and choose to lead from the heart.

More About Debra:

Website: mediterraneanme.org
Follow Debra on Instagram
Follow Debra on LinkedIn


If you enjoyed listening to this episode, please share it with others if you think they would also enjoy it. Thank you!

Check out the Inspired Living for Women Newsletter.
Designed for women in their 40s, 50s and beyond who are ready to embrace the next chapter with confidence, purpose, and joy.

Or you can subscribe here to receive weekly inspiration, practical advice, and uplifting stories designed for women over 40. Let's thrive together!


Website: inspiredlivingforwomen.com

Lauri Wakefield [00:00:41]:
Hi. Welcome to the Inspired Living for Women podcast. Thanks so much for joining me today. I'm your host, Debra Buhring, and my guest today is Deborah Burring. Is that how you pronounce it, Deborah?

Debra Buhring [00:00:50]:
You're right.

Lauri Wakefield [00:00:51]:
Yeah, I should have asked you before that. I've done that a couple times when I. Because I always talk to the guests before we start recording, but okay, so Deborah's a former corporate lawyer turned Heart Math building, personal resilience mentor, a wellness advocate and an author of more than a dozen books. A CTS C, PTSD survivor, and world traveler, she empowers others to transform adversity into purpose and live with clarity, resilience, and wholehearted joy. Through her coaching, writing, and speaking, she inspires audiences to see what's possible. What she when we choose to lead from the heart. Deborah, let's. Let's start with your law degree. You got a degree in law and pursued your law degree after getting your bachelor's and.

Debra Buhring [00:01:35]:
Correct. And it's funny, with hindsight, growing up, I always wanted to be a psychologist or a teacher. And it wasn't until recently that I really started thinking like, wow, how did I end up doing something so differently? And I've been a people pleaser all my life, subjugating myself. And I realized that my sister, who's two years older than I am, that she was going to go to law school. And that made my parents really proud, especially my dad. And so she ended up quitting her first semester of college. And so I think I just said.

Lauri Wakefield [00:02:02]:
Like, oh, okay, I'll pick up the baton.

Debra Buhring [00:02:04]:
Exactly. And then so I did that. And when I got into it, I had naively thought, oh, I'm going to be helping the underdog and all this kind of stuff. And it just, it didn't turn out to be that way. And I kept. I stayed in it. I always wanted to work for a. Not for profit and work with children. And my first husband was very financially motivated, shall we say, and yet had no ambition. So it was Tasked to me to continue making the money. And so I stayed in it because of him. So again, I wasn't following my heart, my dreams, at least the first half to two thirds of my life. So that's what took me down that path initially.

Lauri Wakefield [00:02:39]:
So in your bio, you have CPTSD, and I actually had to look that up. I know what PTSD is, but that's. You want to explain that?

Debra Buhring [00:02:48]:
Sure. A lot of people know that PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder order. And the C designates complex, meaning that it's not a one off, random isolated event. So it affects people differently. It's either prolonged or it's repetitive. And in my case, I had abuse starting from childhood through all my life, all my relationships. Looking back, I had a rainbow of narcissistic relationships my entire life without even knowing what that was. And when we are enduring something like that for so long, it really affects us in every aspect of life and literally changes our brains functionally and structurally. Especially if you have childhood abuse, because up until the age seven, that's when our little brains are really developing. We're like. We're like little sponges. So whatever we're learning, then what seems normal to us, even including things like emotional regulation, or lack thereof, emotional dysregulation, nervous system regulation, coping mechanisms, we inherit those from whoever our caretakers are. So it really impacted us. And in my case, it impacted me emotionally, mentally, physically, behaviorally, in terms of my relationships. And I was always happy if my first book that I published is a memoir that goes through the various abuses as well as my healing journey. And it wasn't until fairly recently that I realized that even though I was happy despite those traumatic events and dark moments, that I would never be at peace because I never addressed my nervous system. And I had. I was diagnosed with misdiagnosed with illnesses and ailments throughout my life. They were psychosomatic illness, but rheumatoid arthritis as a child, multiple sclerosis as an adult, a lot of sinusitis, bronchitis, esophagitis, and ITIs denotes inflammation and stress from unresolved traumas. That's a very inflammatory condition.

Lauri Wakefield [00:04:37]:
Yeah. So you ended up. You practiced law, you said, for 15 to 20 years, and then you ended up getting a master's degree in natural health, right?

Debra Buhring [00:04:45]:
Yes, my first husband. I had finally gotten up the courage, and it's sad to say it was courage that I had my life for myself as an adult, but I had gotten up the courage to separate from him. And he he dislocated my shoulder. And then afterwards, when I was really starting to pursue getting divorced, he tried to kill me with that articulated intention and this will reaction to that, to his materialism, et cetera. And I had going to Argentina a lot with one of my jobs, the work, and I had fallen in love with the country. So I'm like, oh. He also was seeking permanent alimony. So I'm like, I quit.

Lauri Wakefield [00:05:22]:
I'm out of here. I don't have. 

Debra Buhring [00:05:24]:
Right. So I moved to Argentina and I started pursuing my passions and my dream travel and natural health. I got a master's in natural health and I got ISA fitness and nutrition certificates, et cetera. And I started writing because I'm really introverted and so I liked being behind the scenes.

Lauri Wakefield [00:05:39]:
Okay, so how long did you live in Argentina?

Debra Buhring [00:05:43]:
I was there for a couple of years and then I ended up gravitating towards the Mediterranean, which I had always loved as well and was basically based there for the past couple of decades. And I was writing my. The first book that I actually started writing was a book on the med train lifestyle, different lifestyle factors, which I think really translate well into holistic well being. And I was writing a chapter at school stress and the chapter became so voluminous I'm like, this is a book in its own right. So I, I did a book there. But I realized as I was writing it that I felt like I was being hypocritical because I was talking about holistic well being while I realized that I was still engaging in different relationship patterns and behaviors because of my unresolved trauma. So I segued to healing myself and that's when I went ahead and finished writing my memoir, which is very cathartic and very healing. So that was the first book that I actually published.

Lauri Wakefield [00:06:36]:
So when you started your self healing journey, was it something that you like, was it self led or did you work with someone or different people to.

Debra Buhring [00:06:44]:
It was, yes, it was primarily self led. When my husband tried to kill me, I was eight. Things happened, bad luck. And my best friend from high school.

Lauri Wakefield [00:06:52]:
Was like, that's a pretty big deal, right?

Debra Buhring [00:06:54]:
Yeah. So I started going to therapy and that's actually what really started uncovering the child abuse, the conventional therapy. I kind of was like, check, check. I went a few times, done. One thing that really did help me was cranial sacral therapy.

Lauri Wakefield [00:07:08]:
Yes. That's interesting that you mentioned that. I don't even know you don't live in the United States now, but I have someone I interviewed on I think it was episode 21. Michelle Davies, she lives out in the UK but she does cranio sacral therapy and she was explaining. But anyway, go ahead with your.

Debra Buhring [00:07:25]:
Yes, it's hugely impactful and I didn't at the time I thought maybe it was a little woo. I didn't believe in it and it was the most impactful thing I've ever done. But now understanding it. So now I research and I understand how it happened. Basically cranial nerve. It's realigning everything, whether you think of like energy or sacraments or whatever, but it's realigning your cerebral spinal fluid. And I was, it was like a. It was just miraculous. It was a miracle. I was feeling like I was having an out of mind experience. I was having these huge reliefs. I was crying like. But I wasn't sad. I wasn't sad.

Lauri Wakefield [00:08:01]:
Just relief or release.

Debra Buhring [00:08:03]:
Huge release. And I felt like my five year old self. I could hear myself, my five year old self. But it actually helped segregate my childhood from my adulthood and actually helped give me my voice. So it was huge. And most of the things that I try to suggest, I really want holistic wellness to be accessible. In fact, my holistic wellness guides, I call it kiss. Keep it simple, sweetheart. It's really important to me that you don't have to. Wellness shouldn't be a luxury. You shouldn't have to have a nutritionist and a therapist and all these other things. So most of the stuff I have done has been self healing. But craniosacral therapy was extremely impact. Yeah.

Lauri Wakefield [00:08:39]:
How many times did you have it done? Just the one time.

Debra Buhring [00:08:41]:
I had it done a number of times. It was interesting because I was visiting from out of the United States and the woman that was doing it who was phenomenal. And just like with anything else, you have to have the right rapport with your therapist. Right. And she said, oh, I think my like do it for days in a row. And she said yeah, that's better. And that's what I did. And that was just. It was huge. And there's even some stuff online. There's so many free resources online and some of it even takes you through that. But that is one thing that I spent a little money on that was very much worth, very worth it. Right.

Lauri Wakefield [00:09:10]:
Okay. So you had. And that was after you got your divorce or was it while you were still going through your divorce?

Debra Buhring [00:09:17]:
That divorce was. That only took a year and I did it after I went through the divorce.

Lauri Wakefield [00:09:21]:
Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:09:22]:
And my therapist had suggested it.

Lauri Wakefield [00:09:24]:
Okay. So the cranial sacral sacral therapy, Was that done while you were in Argentina?

Debra Buhring [00:09:29]:
Yeah, it was done while I was busy in the United States.

Lauri Wakefield [00:09:32]:
Okay. Okay. So people do it here. Yeah.

Debra Buhring [00:09:34]:
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Lauri Wakefield [00:09:35]:
Michelle said she didn't know if they did, and I actually never looked into it, but yes.

Debra Buhring [00:09:39]:
And I would suggest there are different modalities. What I did was the Ledger Institute, so people could just search that up. And if people are trained in that modality, that's what I would suggest. And it doesn't cost more than a massage. Like, you're fully clothed massage. Not. But it was Mirac. It was Mirac. Yeah. Yeah.

Lauri Wakefield [00:09:56]:
That's something that I've definitely thought about having done because. And it's probably, like, stuff that. It goes back to the trauma that you had when. Obviously when. From when you were a kid and all that stuff. And it's like you just carry it. You carry it and you don't even realize it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You said it's called the ledger. L, E, D, G, E, R. Is that right?

Debra Buhring [00:10:15]:
Correct. Ledger.

Lauri Wakefield [00:10:16]:
Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:10:16]:
I'll.

Lauri Wakefield [00:10:17]:
I'll link to that as a resource in the show notes, because I. That. I think that's super helpful. Okay. So you got your divorce, and then from there, did you go back to Argentina or did you go to the Mediterranean?

Debra Buhring [00:10:29]:
So I went to the Mediterranean. And your husband number two.

Lauri Wakefield [00:10:32]:
Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:10:33]:
And I thought that I was healed again. Check. I'd done a couple of sessions, and then craniosacral, so I'm all good. So I was with that husband for about 10 years, and he ended up leaving me without a single discussion after I just went through, like, the Napoleon California wildfires, and we were living in Mexico, and I was reuniting with him, and he said, I want to be married. And that was, like, the gut of the explanation as to why.

Lauri Wakefield [00:10:57]:
All right.

Debra Buhring [00:10:58]:
And I had supported his. His family and his business aspirations. We had a restaurant, all this other stuff. And I hadn't realized at the time that I had deep abandonment wounds from childhood. Right. Were really triggered by that. So that I really struggled with that more than anything else in my life. I think. I think it was largely because, in fact, when I started having flashbacks from childhood, honestly, it didn't shock me, but what I was completely focused on was where was my mom? And not in a judgmental way, but just. And then I can go back. My mom would recount that when I was in kindergarten, she literally. I would be wrapped around her leg. She would have forced me out, force me to go into Class. That separation from my mom. My head. When my mom wasn't there, bad things happened. And there was even this poor little boy in. In kindergarten. And he was next to me during nap time and he was just innocently tickling me. I freaked out so much that I was used from nap time. And I got to sit up and have orange juice and do puzzles. At the time, I didn't appreciate what was going on. As a child, I made my mom promise me that she wouldn't die before me, not knowing how deep that runs. And I ended up being in a lot of narcissistic relationships and quite frankly, objectively bad relationships. And again, I'm always my happy self. But I'd be treated right. But I would say for I. Even when my husband tried to kill me, I had a hard time separating from him because you just. You just. It makes you stay in places that you shouldn't stay in.

Lauri Wakefield [00:12:24]:
Yeah. Or you try to downplay it. Or sometimes you maybe sometimes even look at yourself as the one. Like that's partly your fault.

Debra Buhring [00:12:32]:
And as I was writing my book and it wasn't until I was doing that that I realized that I had let myself be treated as like Pinocchio all my life. I was amazed. My worth to me was sexual and financial. And so I was magnetizing needy people. Yeah. Because I needed to be needed. Yeah.

Lauri Wakefield [00:12:52]:
And I don't mean to be like too personal. It's okay if you don't. I'm gonna ask it. You don't, but you don't have to answer. Was your abuse sexual from childhood? Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:13:00]:
Yes.

Lauri Wakefield [00:13:01]:
Okay. And it was from a family member.

Debra Buhring [00:13:03]:
Correct.

Lauri Wakefield [00:13:04]:
Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:13:04]:
And also a lot of emotional. And my father was always threatening to leave. So there was that abandonment. Right. I was always told in connection with the violating act that I was loved more than my sister. So I equated that with love. And so that just set me down path of a recipe for not very. Yeah.

Lauri Wakefield [00:13:25]:
That's gotta be so confusing. I can only imagine. I had someone else. I think it was episode eight that she. She was. She was a witness of it to her sister.

Debra Buhring [00:13:34]:
Her.

Lauri Wakefield [00:13:34]:
It was actually her father didn't molest her. But I. I had an abusive childhood. But thank God I never had the sexual part of it. Thank God. That's gotta be so confusing.

Debra Buhring [00:13:46]:
No, the whole thing is very twisted. And as children we just. We don't understand what's happening. It's normal for us. We have very skewed percept perspectives of ourselves. Our self worth, our self esteem, shame, which I didn't understand until I was adult because I was like, I don't feel guilt, but the shame is like the sense of worthlessness. And that's why I was in these relationships where I was being disrespected, because I didn't value myself. I didn't have my sense of self. So I was always going outward for my validation and my sense of worth.

Lauri Wakefield [00:14:15]:
Yeah. Okay. So the second husband you ended up divorcing from him, was he someone that he. Okay. Did you meet him in the Mediterranean or did you. Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:14:23]:
I lived in Santorini. Gracemith him, which that summer, like, oh, everything was rainbows and puppies and unicorns, and I thought everything was just spectacular.

Lauri Wakefield [00:14:33]:
Was he from there?

Debra Buhring [00:14:34]:
He's from Albania, but he had been living in Greece for quite some time.

Lauri Wakefield [00:14:39]:
Okay, okay. So you had that divorce and then you went back to.

Debra Buhring [00:14:44]:
So then I went. I went to the Mediterranean. And I had been throughout the Mediterranean for several years, but when I left that time, I was compassed to Turkey. I'm not exactly sure why, but quite frankly, I feel like I belong to Turkey more than I feel I belong in the United States. And just the Mediterranean lifestyle. It's almost like I'm in an accidental American. Just the lifestyle and the cultures resonate with me. And I started traveling with work, and I was struck by different cultures at that time. Lived at work versus work. To live and really appreciate simple pleasures in life. Instead of people so often, the United States chasing after this, that and the other, like they're trying to fill some emotional void, and it just. It gets overwhelmed. I'm in the United States now, and it's a culture shock for me to be here for so many reasons, but it's just.

Lauri Wakefield [00:15:34]:
But you feel at home.

Debra Buhring [00:15:36]:
No, I don't.

Lauri Wakefield [00:15:37]:
Oh, you don't? I don't feel at home. Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:15:40]:
Life is just very different with the 24 7 and people living in concrete and not being in nature as much and not being connected. Social media to me isn't social. It's disconnecting. And you look around and everyone's hunched over their phones and their devices.

Lauri Wakefield [00:15:56]:
But I'm talking about in Turkey. In Turkey.

Debra Buhring [00:15:59]:
I'm sorry. Yeah, In Turkey, yes. Which is really a testament to the people and the culture, because single, older woman, it's predominantly made minor 40, like 98 or something. Muslim. I'm not Muslim. Extremely welcoming, extremely hospitable, extremely warm sense of community. I don't speak the language. I could get through little pleasantries or whatever. So to feel at home, it's more like the culture and the values and the lifestyle says a lot. And in fact I write for International Living magazine and I write about different places and I've written about Turkey a number of times.

Lauri Wakefield [00:16:31]:
Yeah, yeah, okay. Because we were talking about that before we got on the call. So the article, one of the articles I saw. I'm sure you've written other ones, but several reasons why you should consider retirement in Turkey. So what are they?

Debra Buhring [00:16:42]:
Well, honestly, things have changed quite a bit since I was there. But it used to be extraordinarily friendly financially. Now there's rampant inflation. But the dollar to the lira, their currency is lira, that's still favorable. So I think anybody else going there, like I had just been used to ripping and Turkey. So you know, my seventh year compared to my first year, it was way more expensive but nowhere near as expensive as in the United States. And that's true throughout the med training. And I think people, I think I'm jet setting around the world and I'm living cheaper than anyone that I know. And then Turkey had a huge advantage of me being able to get a residence permit because otherwise I had to comply with the 90 day moving around every night. 90 days to different places at Turkey's not in the Schengen zone. So now it's increasingly difficult to get that residence permit. But that was one of the huge advantages. And then there's such diversity. I don't think that people realize how green it is, how much nature there is. The food is wonderful. I honestly don't remember exactly what the seven reasons were when I wrote it, but the hospitality is well renowned and justly so. I think it's just. Oh, and it's increasingly getting much more popularized. I think the past couple of years Istanbul and Antalya, they were two Turkish cities in the top five most visited in the world.

Lauri Wakefield [00:18:00]:
Really? But are they. I mean, I guess it depends on where you live in Turkey or where you're visiting. But are they welcoming, say Istanbul, are they welcoming to Americans?

Debra Buhring [00:18:08]:
Hugely, Huge. Hugely. They love American and there are definitely areas so I was living in. I love Istanbul and I don't like big cities, but it feels city because you're in a historical district. Where I was living was in the southwest in the province of Italia, along the Mediterranean Sea in a little town called Ka. There are definitely places that I've gone to that were way more conservative and I didn't feel as comfortable, but I never felt unwelcomed or nervous or scared or anything. I could easily go out where I lived in three in the morning for a walk without any question. I never felt least bit unsafe. And then one thing, if someone is. I'm more spiritual than religious. But if someone wants to go to church every week, they would have to be careful where they go because there just aren't that many churches or synagogues at the mosque. If someone that's important to them, they have that, that worship, that regular worship and house of worship. That's the only. Honestly, that's the only dropping taker.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:06]:
Okay, so now how long have you been there, living there in Turkey?

Debra Buhring [00:19:10]:
I be there for seven years.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:12]:
Okay. And are you remarried? I.

Debra Buhring [00:19:15]:
No, actually I'm having difficulty getting divorced from the second husband because neither one of us has been living in the United States.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:21]:
Oh, okay.

Debra Buhring [00:19:23]:
Wow.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:24]:
That's something that's dragging on, huh?

Debra Buhring [00:19:26]:
Yes.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:27]:
Yeah, one of those things you want to just kind of shake off, right? Yeah, I just put it behind you.

Debra Buhring [00:19:31]:
Snap my fingers in it.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:32]:
Yeah, exactly. So obviously then. Yeah, obviously then you have to have. Still have some type of contact with them, huh?

Debra Buhring [00:19:40]:
We don't have kids or anything and we're on friendly terms. It's just. I just, I don't feel like dealing with it. I don't have the energy bandwidth with it and I'd actually years ago and it got dismissed because I like waived appearance and the court messed up or something. So, yeah, it's been dragged out for quite some time.

Lauri Wakefield [00:19:55]:
Okay, so you got your natural health, a master's degree in natural health. Then you got some other certifications. You became. Recently you became a certified heart math coach.

Debra Buhring [00:20:06]:
Correct.

Lauri Wakefield [00:20:06]:
But before that you had gotten. You were. You've been a holistic wellness advocate for several years.

Debra Buhring [00:20:11]:
What.

Lauri Wakefield [00:20:12]:
Okay, so that's your education and that's what you've been like incorporating into your own lifestyle to. To for yourself and then also to be able to mentor with your knowledge or coach them. You've authored the book. So do you want to talk about. Okay, so your first one you said was a memoir, then. Most of them are nonfiction. But you do have a series that you're writing that we were talking about that's going to be a fiction series, right?

Debra Buhring [00:20:37]:
Correct. So I wrote the memoir, Roar prime for Peace, and then I did a few holistic wellness guides, Mastering the Art of Stress. I did Brainiac on brain health. I did a couple weight loss books because as I was doing my healing and really appreciating the impact of chronic stress, I just felt compelled to highlight those issues because I think a lot of us Think that dementia, for instance, it's just an inevitable consequence of aging or there's judgment about struggles with weight, et cetera. So I just wanted to write those. And then the thing I enjoy doing the most is I have a multi part Mediterranean based writing. It is a novel series, but it's based on my life and my travels and also my healing journeys through there. But it's a more entertaining way of addressing it and I really love to expose people to different Mediterranean gems. I do highlight a couple of big cities like Istanbul and Seville, but a lot of it's stuff that most people haven't even heard of. So I really like to be evocative and provocative and delve deep into the cultural emergence so that people can see different ways of living and different perspectives. And I'm actually working on a screenplay, but the first one that I wrote.

Lauri Wakefield [00:21:42]:
Okay, so how many have you written in that series so far?

Debra Buhring [00:21:45]:
I have six so far.

Lauri Wakefield [00:21:48]:
Oh,wow! Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:21:48]:
It starts in Sicily and I have a couple in Turkey, a couple in Spain. I have France, I have Greece, Montenegro, and then mainland Italy. So I. I really enjoyed working on that the most. Yeah.

Lauri Wakefield [00:22:00]:
And then you have another one that you're in the process of writing. Did you say they're going to be seven or. It's just the six there.

Debra Buhring [00:22:06]:
There will be nine.

Lauri Wakefield [00:22:07]:
Okay. Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:22:08]:
I'm still working on those. And then again working on the screenplay as well.

Lauri Wakefield [00:22:12]:
Had you ever written before that? Did you?

Debra Buhring [00:22:14]:
No. And it's funny because as a child, I really loved my creative writing class and my teacher was extremely complimentary and encouraging and at the time didn't have the self esteem even up until now. Like, why is anyone gonna want to read what I have to write? And I think it was Oscar Wilde who said, if you have something to say, that's reason enough. And I encourage anyone to do it. It's very cathartic for me. Just as much as I love reading, I love writing like a happy little estate. And I learned. I learned so much about myself as well, about different places. And that's what I really wanted to share. I have a lot of like philosophy and art movements and different cultures throughout the series. So.

Lauri Wakefield [00:22:51]:
Okay, yeah, so we'll. I'll link to the book page that you have where you have the books listed. So let's talk about what you're doing now.

Debra Buhring [00:22:58]:
So. Yes, so I, I actually wrote. I started writing under a pen name to protect my family because the childhood disclosures.

Lauri Wakefield [00:23:07]:
Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:23:08]:
They ended up finding out and have my family disowned. Me, including my parents. And so I really started struggling. I thought that I had healed. And with my abandonment wound, that really struck a chord and I really started floundering. I'm like, okay, I really need to get grounded. I need to research this delve more. And it's stuff that I, that I'm preaching about because I need to up that game a little bit. And so I started doing things like doing more meditation. And I started researching and I came across heart coherence. And I realized that I had intuitively more or less been doing that, like heart coherent flight, if you will, throughout my life. Like a heart gratitude meditation. And I'm quite confident that's what had always made me, since childhood, a happy, optimistic, resilient, energetic person. So I was like, oh my God, had I only known about this years ago. And so that just like I'm getting chilled and choked up talking about it because I really feel like if people had had training in that, which it's deceptively simple, that could transform their lives.

Lauri Wakefield [00:24:11]:
Yeah, so you're talking about the hard coherence. Now is that a term that's used or is that something that you, how you just explain it.

Debra Buhring [00:24:18]:
And I actually like the term physiological coherence because hard coherence, some people might think that that sounds a little. Or let's all kumbaya hold hands. It's also cardiac tolerant. But what it does is it basically acknowledges our interconnectedness. I think a lot of people hear about second brain and our gut and they know that our guts and our brains are connected. So we have a bidirectional communication between our brains and our body. The vagus nerve, which a lot of people can about. Now that's the main nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest to just repair, rejuvenate, store part, as opposed to the fight or flight and the sympathetic. And our brain, I'm sorry, our heart has its own brain, so we have a heart rate also. And that bidirectional communication, I think. And I did too. And that's with my master's degree in natural health. I always assumed that the brain is command central. That is basically top down. It's controlling everything, it's organizing everything. And the information that comes from our body to our brains, particularly from the heart, 80 to 95% of the information is coming from our hearts to our brain. So yeah, yeah. So what heart coherence does is it teaches you how to initiate this particular heart rhythm pattern and then that signals the brain and it synchronizes the brain and the heart. Like, a lot of times, sometimes we're thinking, like, my heart's telling me one thing, my head's telling me something else. So it synchronizes that. It particularly impacts the brain regions that deal with perceptions and emotions and cognition, which, if we're stressed or traumatized, perceptions and emotions and cognition, we tend to have problems with that. And it harmonizes our cardiovascular system, our hormonal system, our immune system, and our nervous system. So us working like this beautiful masterpiece, we're cohesive instead of divisive. It has huge benefits. Mentally, emotionally, physically, behaviorally, relationally. Everything that I say, five stars impact, it helps tremendously.

Lauri Wakefield [00:26:16]:
So what you do. Do you specifically help with that, what you just explained?

Debra Buhring [00:26:21]:
So I do. I do a lot of different holistic wellness things, but I think that stress underlies everything. And so to me, that's foundational. Like, I wouldn't be if someone came to me and said, I want to lose weight. I still tell them, I want you. I want to help you master your stress. And I'm actually going to do a free masterclass webinar available online about stress because I'm on a mission to have a Stop Dismissing stress society. Because I think it's. Yeah, can you please not literally going.

Lauri Wakefield [00:26:48]:
Is it a. Like a web address that you can name right now, or can you send it to me so that I can include it in the show notes?

Debra Buhring [00:26:54]:
Yes, and when I have. When I say we're done, I'll put it on my red.

Lauri Wakefield [00:26:57]:
Okay. Okay.

Debra Buhring [00:26:58]:
Yeah, I have that. I have a free. It's free everywhere except Amazon and make me church 99 cents. A free book called release yourself. It's part one. Just because I want people to understand fundamentally how the nervous system work. I think once you understand that, you can see how it impacts us in all these different ways. And then again so that we quit dismissing it, because I think that we tend to dismiss it. We dismiss chronic sleep deprivation as well. We think maybe it's just, oh, we're a little irritable and a little tired. But no, it's really impactive. Like I said, I had psychosomatic illnesses all my life because of that. And I don't want people to take as long as I did to realize or to address it. I think that really helps you be all you want to be.

Lauri Wakefield [00:27:36]:
Is there like a physical component to it? Is there a writing component? Is there like a reflection burning?

Debra Buhring [00:27:43]:
Yes, it's very good. I think first is just the awareness of how things are impacting us and even talking about. And this is a hard, hardcore specific, but even like understanding from my childhood that I had this belief that I'm some means to an end. So I had this really negative, limiting belief that was impacting me in all aspects of my life. And so awareness is really key in all these things because if we don't realize how things are negatively affecting us, we're really not going to be motivated to do something about it. I always need to know the. I don't wanna be told what to do. I need to know why. So there's an awareness and then there are several tools and techniques to help you cultivate hard coherence, which seriously, it's transformational because it basically, it helps balance the nervous system and it helps activate that rest, digest, repair, restoration. I don't think people realize that we're creatures of habit and our brain likes familiarity. You can say from kingdom come, I'm calm, I'm safe, I'm fine, I'm not going. Unless you actually embody that, that and change your brain, which fortunately we're. Because of neuroplasticity, you're going to get nowhere. And that's a big difference I see between the Mediterranean and the United States. I come here and I feel the stress. I see it as stress. And I see that people are basically living the same routine day in and day out. They're getting super upset and frustrated. First thing, they start with their commuter traffic or whatever. They're worried at night what they're going to do, and then they get up in the morning, they're looking at the news and social media, and it's no wonder to me that we're a disease. Disease, stressed, divisive society.

Lauri Wakefield [00:29:12]:
Yeah. Okay. Was there anything else that you wanted to add to what we've been talking about? It's been a lot of stuff.

Debra Buhring [00:29:18]:
I think that. I think as a society we tend to overcomplicate things by supposedly wanting a simple solution. And we listen too much to social influencers, even if they don't have credibility or relevant experience or. And I think we just have to get back to basics. And, you know, just because something's simple doesn't mean it doesn't work. And like with HeartMap, there's so much. There's so much data that's a company that I'm certified through. There's so much data about the positive impact that has in all these ways. So I just want people to know that if we honor our interconnectedness, our bodies are like wondering. They really are. They just need a little support instead of going against that. And we just have to be consistent and we have to use common sense. And it.

Lauri Wakefield [00:29:59]:
It's not that difficult what I was going to say. And I don't know if this is going to make sense or not. It's not like it's. It's like we go around like we live life and it's sort of like in our head a lot and going through. But it's like when we realize that we're like living in this body. You know what I.

Debra Buhring [00:30:13]:
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And.

Lauri Wakefield [00:30:15]:
Yeah.

Debra Buhring [00:30:15]:
And. Yeah. And we tend to overthink things. Yeah. I'm a Buddhist fan and overthinking and misperceptions, that's pretty much what accounts for most of the suffering. And so we just need to be taught some simple techniques. I'm also starting a LinkedIn newsletter where I'm going to do weekly just again, trying to help people understand how stress impacts them. There is a lot of good information out there and I also do free discovery calls with anyone who might be interested in coaching because I basically healed. Like I said, I really liked the cranial synchron therapy, but I did things like with YouTube and it was a.

Lauri Wakefield [00:30:45]:
Combination of things, right?

Debra Buhring [00:30:46]:
Yeah, but it was mostly free online stuff are really inexpensive and Mastering the Artist stress. That book has 52 ways to master stress, which again I. I'm preaching what I practice. So this stuff is tried and true.

Lauri Wakefield [00:30:58]:
Okay, I'll link to your website and then. Well, that's got your books on it too. And it has information about. Does it have services on there or not?

Debra Buhring [00:31:06]:
No, not yet. It basically just has the book but it has contact information and then my social media and whatnot as well.

Lauri Wakefield [00:31:12]:
Yeah, because I. Because I did look at your website and I don't remember seeing anything about.

Debra Buhring [00:31:17]:
One of these days on my to do list.

Lauri Wakefield [00:31:20]:
So that's going to wrap things up for this episode. Thanks so much for joining me today. If you'd like more information about the book Debra's written and the services she offers. I guess the services will be on there at some point, but anyway I'll be. I'll include the link to the show in the show notes to the website. And if you'd like to see the show notes for today's podcast, you can find them on my website at Inspired living for women.com the show notes will be listed under Podcast Show Notes Episode 26. If you'd like to join me as I continue my conversation with other guests exploring topics with women over 40. Please be sure to subscribe to the inspired Living for Women podcast. Thanks again and have a great day.

Debra Buhring [00:31:56]:
Bye bye. Thanks for having me.