Andrew Stoute, Mom & Aunt, and the Power of Communication

This week, we welcome Andrew Stoute, our first-ever male guest, for a candid chat about the incredible women who have shaped his life and career.

From weekly root beer float dates with his mom to life-changing lessons from his aunt, Andrew shares heartwarming stories that will make you smile and maybe even reach for the phone to call your own loved ones. We discuss what it really means to have "moxie" and how kindness and humanity can leave a lasting impact on the world around us, serving as a reminder of the ripple effect one person's moxie can have.

But it's not all nostalgia - Andrew offers practical, actionable advice on being a better communicator, advocate, and ally in both personal and professional settings. This episode has something for everyone! Whether you ae looking to improve your relationships, boost your career, or simply understand the power of genuine connection.

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Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:00)
You're listening to Hello Moxie. In each episode, we'll honor the unbreakable thread that connects various women who came before us, modern day pioneers carving their own paths. We'll share stories of unforgettable heroism, courage, the last they've had across generations. Get inspired by the stories of those who embodied true Moxie and pave the way for others to follow. Hello Moxie is sponsored by DMG Digital, a woman owned marketing consultant.

Speaker 1 (00:01)
Hello Moxie with Nicole.

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Speaker 2 (00:31)
dedicated

to helping B2B companies and e-commerce brands create experiences. Hello and welcome to another episode of Hello Moxie. I am delighted to be joined today by my dear friend, Andrew Stout. Andrew and I met several years ago through LinkedIn. It's amazing, amazing how many wonderful people you can meet on LinkedIn and the wonderful relationships you can have.

Speaker 2 (00:58)
And Andrew and I's relationships is one of those. And I am honored to be a sponsor of his amazing podcast, Let's Be Diverse, which is an HR podcast that focuses on hot topics in HR to encourage diversity. And he's had some phenomenal conversations and guests on his show. So I want to turn it over to you, Andrew. Why don't you tell our listeners a little bit more about you and who you are and what's lighting you up right now?

Speaker 1 (01:25)
Well, thank you so much again for having me on. I really appreciate you bring me on as a guest today. So as you said, I am Andrew. am a HR diversity, inclusion and leadership professional. Got about five years experience in both fully. I always dabbled in HR and leadership all throughout my career, whatever job I had. They always had me doing little things that had to do with HR. So I learned a lot along the way.

As far as personally, from, I'm in Canada. So right now I'm in Western part of Canada. I grew up in the Eastern part of Canada. So in the Quebec, Montreal, Quebec area, for those who know Canada well, grew up there and moved out West part of Canada. I speak two languages. So I speak both French and English. I am a lover of sports.

I'm a lover of collaborating. I'm a lover of meeting people, friends, great conversation, outdoors, movies, television shows, you name it.

Speaker 2 (02:39)
Amazing. So Andrew, I have to ask, can you teach me and our listeners a very famous and easy French Canadian phrase that we can try out?

Speaker 1 (02:52)
I guess the easiest phrase would be, bonjour mes amis.

Speaker 2 (02:58)
Bonjour mes amis!

Speaker 1 (02:59)
which is hello, my friends.

Speaker 2 (03:02)
Bonjour mes amis! How do do?

Speaker 1 (03:04)
I actually did pretty good for a first timer.

Speaker 2 (03:09)
Beautiful. So listeners out there, if you want to mix it up and do a special hello to your friends when you see them, you can channel Andrew and say, mes amis. Lovely. I love that. I've been to Eastern Canada on a cruise. stopped in Quebec City.

Speaker 1 (03:21)
That's it.

Beautiful. got it. You got it.

Speaker 2 (03:36)
and Montreal. also did the Prince Edward Island, which was unbelievable. We did Nova Scotia and I love, love, love, fell in love with Quebec City. So stunningly beautiful. The history, how it's built up on that cool bluff up above the river. And I love how it has the old part of town, the historic part right by the river. And then you take that gondola or the stairs up to the main. And I really felt like I was walking in a

Parisian, somewhere in Paris is cool.

Speaker 1 (04:10)
It's very European there, Quebec City. actually Montreal is too, especially in the old parts, like in the old port, it's very European. They got the cobblestone road. So very, very European, very touristic, both cities. So there's lots to do. know, in the summer and in the winter as well, Quebec City has one of the largest festivals going on. It's been going on for years.

Lots of fun things to do out in those areas if you decide to go out there that way.

Speaker 2 (04:44)
Yeah, lovely. Well, cool. Well, this is like, this is a historic moment for the Hello Moxie show, Andrew, because you are our first male guest. And this I've been looking forward to this because, you know, we've historically been just interviewing women and I thought to myself, who would be someone really special? One of my friends that could come on and I've been so excited to have you on and share. So.

Let's dive in. want to hear, you know, every guest comes on the show and they share a woman in history who's inspired them. And I'd love to hear yours. Who inspires you, Andrew? Who is one woman or maybe there's several that you've really been inspired by? I want to learn about them. Tell our listeners.

Speaker 1 (05:33)
Well, I've had I've been very, fortunate to have some great female role models in my life. I've had some fantastic bosses and, leaders who I've followed. My wife, would say is, I would say is someone who I admire as well. And she inspires me every day. And I would say the two people that kind of come to mind would be my late mom and my late aunt.

My late mom's name was Yvonne and my late aunt's name was Louise. And they inspire me because, you know, my mom taught me many things. So she taught me guidance, hard work, she taught me positivity and strength. And as you know, with me and or any of the listeners or anybody that knows me, I am a huge believer or my core values are rapport building and I learned rapport building from my mom.

My aunt, she had the biggest hurt. And what I admire about her is that she had unconditional love. So no matter what happened, what was the situation, what was the, you know, if there was conflict or whatever, she always had unconditional love. She always had a way of talking to you and a way of, a way of making you feel special. And when she had to say something, she said it, but she always said it with love.

and compassion, not with hatred or to be demeaning is where I'm

Speaker 2 (07:06)
Beautiful. Do you have any like memories that come to your mind of an experience you had with either your aunt Louise or even your mom Yvonne that really kind of illustrate like these special qualities that they had? love that rapport building is so huge and you definitely embody that. But do you have any memories that you can share?

Speaker 1 (07:28)
Yeah, so with my mom, when I was younger, she had, you know, I guess I was probably, I think I was in a high school and she taught me and she said to me one day, said, you know, we're gonna start to go on Thursday nights. I'm gonna take you for, there was a restaurant called, I don't know if you guys have it in the States, but there was a restaurant called Swanson's and they specialized in root beer floats. Root beer

Speaker 2 (07:51)
I'm

for a pair of floats!

Speaker 1 (07:53)
So we were gonna, so I'm gonna take you for a root beer flow, spend some time on a through every Thursday and we're gonna sit down and talk about what's happening and how the week went. And, you know, as you're a teenager, you're kind of like, oh my God, like, why do I want to do this? Like, come on, mom, like, you know, I don't want to spend Thursday night with my mom. But, you know, as I've gotten older and I've, you know, you think back of memories of her, what that taught me was how to build relationships and

and to improve on my communication. That was huge. And it also taught me how to connect with myself. So those are three lessons that it taught me. And it was something that went on for several years. We went every Thursday and after supper, we went for an hour or two, had a root beer float. When the root beer float was done, we went home. So it was something that was memorable. And with my aunt,

She took me to my very first movie for those who I'm gonna age myself here, but my very first movie was the Jungle Book, which was a know, the cartoon version and what you know, you don't think of those things but it was just an exciting day because it was I was going to my very first movie and I was hanging out with my aunt and it was a big thing we went for lunch before and it was such a fun experience. But what that taught me

What the movies are what I think about movies as they taught they taught me how to instill How to be inspired and and how to enjoy and reduce stress in life. So, you know when you go to a movie it's enjoyable you get the popcorn you get the your drink and you're sitting there and relaxing and You pretty much forget about everything going on in the world or anything that's happening around you You're just your sole focus is what is on the screen?

And you don't think of that when you're a child, when you're very young. But as I've gotten older, and again, I think back of those memories, those are kind of what comes to mind or what, what it taught me.

Speaker 2 (09:56)
my gosh, I love that. So every Thursday, your mom took you to get ice cream, root beer floats. And I loved one thing you said. You said that through those experiences, you learned to connect with yourself. Tell me more. How did you learn to connect with yourself through the connection you were having with your mom?

Speaker 1 (10:15)
Well, I realized that communication was important, but I also realized that communication was good with myself as well. Cause we do come, there's times where things are going really, really well. And there's things, there's times where we are having a really rough day or we're, you know, we're needing that motivation. And yes, there's people around you who are there to support you and to, give it that extra inspiration or what have you, but you know, you yourself are your, your own inspiration as well.

And that's what it does to me. It sort of taught me how to communicate with myself. And I know sometimes people, you know, we used to think, you know, people are talking to themselves, whatever. I'm not talking about talking to themselves necessarily. I'm just thinking about, you know, the motivation of, know, so, you know, now I kind of do a little bit of a mantra every morning and I kind of look at myself in the mirror as I'm getting ready for the day and I'm like, okay, today's just what we're going to do. This is how it's going to go. We're going to have a good day.

And, you know, and we're going to do everything in our power to make sure that at the end of the day, we're happy with, with, with, our, with our accomplishments and what we've been able to do for the day. So that's something that I kind of do. And I believe that that taught me how to do that, because if I didn't learn how to communicate in the way in the very beginning, then, you know, I probably would struggle with it now, but I think that was kind of key because it was allowing me to, and for us to talk about stuff.

You know, it was always, it was not always good stuff. was always, you know, stuff that's going on or something that you're struggling with or whatever, whether it been in school or what have you. It was key for me in that respect.

Speaker 2 (11:52)
And

now that's beautiful. It's like your communication you had with your mom and those experience modeled to you how you can have that internal conversation with yourself and how to show up for yourself. And the consistency that your mom did that was incredible. Every single week she consistently showed up. And what a great example for your own self to consistently show up for yourself like that in the same kind of way is lovely. And I love your advice here and your experience with your aunt about

She taught you how to be inspired by taking you to the movies and seeing the Jungle Book and to enjoy life, to reduce stress and anxiety. What a beautiful skill that I think so many of us, myself included, truthfully have struggled with. Let's be honest, in our capitalistic society, there's a lot of value that's placed on how hard you work and how successful that you are.

So it's like in many ways your value can be derived from those worldly accolades, which can be a distraction from really taking the time to invest in yourself, consistently show up for yourself as you mentioned that you learned to do from your mom, and take time to just enjoy life. So I think that's just such a wonderful and powerful reminder to just really focus on those things. And so cool that you're

those women in your life showed you and exemplified for you how to do that.

Speaker 1 (13:24)
Yes, they certainly do. were very vital and very important people in my, especially in my younger years of life. You know, they were always there to help. my aunt, they were both there to pick up the phone and give a call if something was, you know, positive or something, if I needed an ear, they were both willing to, always willing to listen, no matter what they were. if they were in, even if they were in a situation where they said,

well, listen, you know, I'm just busy doing something. Can I call you back in 20 minutes or a half hour? And, you know, and they would, they would call back in 20 minutes or a half hour. They would make sure to call back and, you know, and, and, and made sure that they, they, made that phone call back. And it's super, super important.

Speaker 2 (14:12)
Yeah. Beautiful. remember I had amazing aunts. I feel so lucky to have the aunts that I did. All of them are amazing. But I remember I had one aunt too, Andrew, who I would go and visit with her on the weekends. And when I'd go to her house, I have such fond memory. I didn't go every weekend, but maybe once a quarter, I'd go stay with her for the weekend. And it was such a treat. When I'd go there, we would bake her oatmeal chocolate chip cookie recipe.

which was my, to this day, those are my favorite cookies. And I taught my daughter how to, my daughters how to make them. So they make them now. And then we would cuddle up in her bed and we'd watch old black and white movies. And that experience with her brought me so much comfort. Like I think a lot of times to your point about like being inspired and making time to do those, you know, those, those activities where you can de-stress is finding ways where we can find comfort.

comfort and connection, you know? And I think the women in our lives, you know, in my life when I look back, it's been like my aunt too, or those other women have been able to provide me like that, like warm blanket of safety and comfort, right? That is so, so important for us to have like wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling lives. So. Yeah, for sure. Very cool. So what is that, when you think about the word Moxie, when I created the podcast, I just love the word Moxie.

It's just such a fun way to think about living in the world and showing up. And I think people can define it in different ways. They can think about moxie in different ways. Like it doesn't always need to be like, you're going to be the first in line to show up and lead the way. Like moxies can, can really be a lot of women, you know,

anyone can show up with Moxie in a lot of different ways. And so it's fun for me to ask this question of guests to see what they think of when they think of the word Moxie. So when you think of that word, what do you think of and how did the women in your life embody it to you?

Speaker 1 (16:14)
So

for me, Moxie is determination, perseverance, and I would say human spirit is kind of the three things that kind of come to mind when I think of Moxie. And those two people, my aunt and my mom, both had lots of perseverance and they were huge on human spirit. I think they defined the word human spirit in my mind. And everybody that knew them, I would say,

That's probably something that they would remember the both of them for is their humanity and their kindness and their authenticity.

Speaker 2 (16:51)
I love that word human spirit. have to be honest. I haven't heard that very much. Human spirit, kindness, humanity. It's true. When you think of Moxie, you may not necessarily think of kindness and humanity, but absolutely I think that's such a beautiful embodiment of Moxie is the kindness and humanity of looking out to the people around you and showing up for them is a way to really show Moxie. so cool. I see that in you too, Andrew.

You're so incredible at building community and really being generous with the people in your network. Very, very loyal. I know I can always count on you to send me messages every once in a while. You're just checking with me and you'll say something really kind and thoughtful. It always just brightens my day whenever I get a message from you. It doesn't need to be this big grand

thing, right? Like when you think about showing up and being kind and showing humanity, sometimes people might think, I've got to these big grand gestures. But I love how you exemplify it to me and to others is you just show up consistently in small ways to let people know you see them and that you care about them. And I think it's beautiful that you've been able to carry that on from your mom and your aunt and the other people in your life.

Speaker 1 (18:12)
Well, I appreciate your kind words that fills my cup to hear that. that's exactly the type of person that I want to be and how I want to exemplify myself is by, you know, by showing up. I know I like when people do that for me as well. And I've had people who've messaged me and said, Hey, how are doing? Just checking in to see how you're doing. And you're absolutely right. It's nice to, you know, it's not that big.

grand, huge message full of compliments, whatever, just, hey, just checking in to see how you're doing. That is, you know, for me, that's huge. That means that you're thinking about me and I'm in your thoughts. And so I try to do that as much as possible. And I mentioned rapport building. That is a huge component of who I am because it's super important and it brings joy, not just to myself, but to others. So

That's why I do.

Speaker 2 (19:06)
I love that you mentioned that you notice it brings joy. Have you noticed any other things that you've noticed in your relationships or in yourself that have shown up because you show up for people in that way? Has there anything been surprising to you or anything else that you've noticed?

Speaker 1 (19:21)
Um, the only thing I kind of noticed was, that, uh, not everybody feels it's important. That's the kind of thing that I've noticed and that's okay. I'm not going to put somebody down or say, you know, you know, why are you not doing it? Uh, you know, I think you have to have, I would say you have to have the passion for it I have the passion for it. So, you know, when you, when you think about rapport building, you gotta think how important is it to me to.

to connect with others, see how they're doing and possibly collaborate with them or work with them. It's super important and it draws the possibilities are enormous by doing that. And some people don't get the fact that it's how important that it is. And it's okay if you don't have the time or what have you. get it. But you know, I was telling somebody just the other day, I'm like,

If you could just pick out of your network, take five people a day, just five people take a half hour, five people a day and say exactly what you were saying before. You're saying how you enjoy getting messages from me. you take a few, if you message five people a day and say how just checking in to see how you're doing, how high, are you doing? That just lights people up. And it's just five. Like it doesn't take.

You don't have to do 20 or 25 or 100. Five a day is, I'd say, to continue to build rapport and to show kindness and care and empathy for people. means you don't know what it means to people to see and hear those messages from people.

Speaker 2 (21:14)
What good practical advice. Just five messages a day. I think anybody has time to do that. You know, like it's a very simple gesture of generosity. That's really, really cool. You have to have the passion for it. You mentioned you need to have the passion for it. Passion that you have for it. I know was instilled by your mom and your aunt. What would you advise for other people who may not have the passion for it?

Speaker 1 (21:41)
Well, again, you can't, mean, you have to have it, right? So, I mean, but I think you have to see the importance of it. And I think once you see the importance of it, then you will, then you'll do it more. So, you know, when you, when you've received that message from somebody checking in to see how you're doing, and you start to see several messages like that come in, then I think you start to develop that passion. Cause you're like, wow, you understand how.

you feel, right? So I will never tell, I will never tell anybody how they should feel. Right. But I can tell you how I feel and how I feel when I get a message from somebody is, um, you know, it, it's amazing. It lights me up and it, it, it, pushes me on and, and pushes me forward.

And when I send a message out to somebody and they say, thanks so much for saying this message. Uh, you know, it's nice to hear from you. Or I, I needed that message today. Uh, you know, that's, or I needed to hear those words today. That lights me up as well because I'm not because I'm trying to be a hero. I just lights me up because I, you know, I was able to make them feel important and thought of in that moment.

Speaker 2 (23:04)
Yeah. And what a like beautiful, I mean, I can see just the incredible richness of your network and what you've built with your podcast. I think because you have been so committed to showing up for people and seeing them the way that you have, it's really quite special. Yeah. And you have just a whole level, another level of connection with people that's lost if you don't show up in those ways.

Speaker 1 (23:30)
Yeah, you have to be consistent and you have to, you know, and again, I'm not saying that you have to spend your whole day doing it, but you know, just a little bit per day. I think more people that do that, the more I think those people will see more and more how beneficial it can be.

Speaker 2 (23:53)
Very cool. Well, let's shift gears a little bit. I would love to hear from you. What do you think that, from your perspective, that men can do to be more of an advocate or champion for women, not only in the workplace, but also in our communities, at home? Like, what are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 1 (24:12)
I would just say, know, asking, you know, and I've, think I've done this with you, Nicole. I've, think the key thing is, you know, creating a conversation, reaching out is, is, is the first thing and then asking them, how can I help or how can I be of help to you is, is key. So you, may not be anything that, that I can do, but just knowing that that person is willing to help out.

It means so much. Communication is key. So I think we need to learn to communicate and talk to communicate and understand the importance of communication. And we also need to be, I think, to make ourselves available and be around. as a leader, I know that leaders are very, very busy. So I'll speak as a, you know, in a leader's perspective, when you are asking somebody for

you how they're doing, you know, you need to be prepared to have the response back or you need to be prepared for a response back from the other person. So if you're not prepared for the response, then I would say, you know, you need to that passion to ask that question because you know, the possibilities are either it's either going to be a very good answer or things are going fantastic. Things are going

Amazing. I'm having a great day. It's beautiful outside and you know, it's Friday, you know, it's the weekend, you know, you're going to get that response or you're going to get your own Andrew, you know, you know, thanks for reaching out today. You know, it's, I'm really not having a really good day today. And, know, and you need to be ready for that response because, you know, the next phase is do you, do you push forward and do you ask, okay, well, is there anything that I can do or is there anything that I can help with or.

Uh, do you need, you know, I'm here if you need somebody to listen, right? So you need to be prepared for that. If you're just asking, just to ask that person's going to see that, right? They're going to see, you know, if you just ask, you know, I've worked in situations where people have asked, you know, called and Hey, Andrew, how's it going? I'm like, Oh, it's, know, I'm running ragged today. It's, it's, uh, you know, I'm, feet are just going.

I haven't stopped, haven't sat down for a second. And then the person on the other end says, okay. can you get this for me? Right. So it's kind of like, I asked you as like, as a nice gesture, but I really don't, doesn't really matter to me how you're doing. Right. And I get that people have stuff they want to get done and what have you, I totally get that. But again, we have to be prepared for the response.

And I think we have to work together for the common good. So I feel like there's lots of people who we're all doing our own things. We're all advocating for our own stuff and we have advocates for other people. We're advocating for other people's stuff. But think if we all work together and talk about things and collaborate a little bit more, I think it'd be a lot easier, I think on a lot of, in a lot of situations.

Speaker 2 (27:29)
Love your response. That's beautiful. You mentioned asking and listening with care. Really like coming from a place of true care. Like your intention in your heart is in a place of really truly wanting to connect and being open to hearing whatever that other, whatever might be said. And I think that's really good advice for anyone, for women too.

you know, in order to build bridges and really build strong teams, takes women and men, you know, and all, you know, all people to build a strong team. And in order to do that, think women also need to show up with that same commitment to asking, really listening and listening with care to wherever they're at. I think, you know, when, everyone comes to any sort of

project or work environment with those three qualities, ask and listen with care. It just creates such a nice, beautiful foundation for creating a really collaborative and safe and healthy experience where you can really do something really great. So that's really great advice. Ask, listen and care.

Speaker 1 (28:39)
Sure.

That's glistening

Speaker 2 (28:46)
Absolutely.

Beautiful, Andrew. Well, thank you so much for being a guest on the show today. This has been such a delight, historic moment for our show. And I'm so grateful for your friendship and for your support and for always showing up for me the way that you do. And so for our listeners out there, how can they get ahold of you? What's the best way to reach them? I'd love for you to share a little bit more about kind of like, you know, how they can connect with you. How can they get to know and be part of your amazing community?

Speaker 1 (29:15)
So before I do that, I want to take the time to thank you for having me on today. want to give you flowers today, and I want to say thank you so much for being you and for supporting. And you don't just support me, you support everyone. And I think that's why people just gravitate to you. You're just a dynamic individual. And I know I appreciate you and I know many others appreciate you. As for myself,

your best place to probably catch me is on LinkedIn. You can definitely see find me it's stout with an E S T O U T E. You'll see the logo of the let's be diverse podcast there. So very easy to find. And I'd love to reach out and I love to talk with people. I love to meet new people. I love to have conversations with people. I can talk to the cows come home anything HR leadership.

the workplace and discussions like this, because I think they're super important and they're needed. And I think you can combine them with many different aspects as far as life, personally and professionally.

Speaker 2 (30:29)
Absolutely. Well, let's just give a big massive shout out to Yvonne and Louise today for helping to raise such a wonderful, amazing human, Andrew. You're doing such great work. I'm so grateful we could take this time to honor them and the impact they've had on you and what they've done to just really create you and all the good that you're doing. Ripple effect, right? Ripple effect.

Speaker 1 (30:56)
Yeah, they will always be in my heart and will never be forgotten. That is for sure.

Speaker 2 (31:00)
Well, thank you so much for being on the show. We'll talk soon.

Speaker 1 (31:05)
Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (31:07)
That's

a wrap for today's episode of Hello Moxie. I hope you felt that unbreakable thread connecting you to the women of the past, to the trailblazing pioneers of today. Their stories of audacity, resilience, and courage are a powerful reminder of what's possible for you when you choose to live with Moxie.