Ever feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning.
In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood messages about productivity and worth create deeply ingrained neural pathways that follow us into adulthood. When our parents or caregivers unconsciously taught us that our value comes from what we accomplish rather than who we are, we developed thinking patterns that trained our nervous systems to feel unsafe whenever we try to rest. This high-functioning anxiety creates a constant background hum telling us we should be doing more, and we can't slow down without falling behind.
The most fascinating part? This pattern often transforms into what therapists call "Pure O" OCD – a quieter form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that doesn't involve the stereotypical hand-washing or lock-checking behaviors. Instead, it manifests as internal rules, mental rituals, and relentless "shoulds" that drive our behavior. The productivity loop becomes addictive: feel anxious, do something productive, experience temporary relief, repeat. It's particularly insidious because our culture actually praises this harmful pattern, mistaking trauma responses for motivation and "hustle." I share practical strategies for breaking free from this cycle, starting with simply noticing when you're acting from pressure versus genuine desire, and practicing sitting with the discomfort of incomplete tasks. Your worth isn't measured by checked boxes on a to-do list, and you deserve to be present for the people and experiences that matter most in your life. Ready to transform your relationship with productivity? Listen now and take the first step toward authentic motivation and true balance.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
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Ever hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m breaking down why learning to validate yourself is the foundation for real confidence, calm, and clarity.
We’ll talk about:
This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about naming what’s real, responding to yourself like someone who actually likes you, and learning to separate past triggers from present-day truth.
If you’re done twisting yourself up trying to be palatable, likable, or agreeable—this one’s for you.
Ready to become your own biggest ally? Hit play. Then send this to the friend who needs to hear, “You make sense. You’re doing great. You don’t need permission to feel how you feel.”
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
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The quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could.
When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here.
After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to unpack the slow-burn pain of emotional invalidation. If you grew up in a family where your feelings were ignored, mocked, or met with a blank stare, this episode is for you.
We’ll talk about:
Spoiler: people who dismiss you aren’t always evil—they’re just unbaked cookies (aka emotionally underdeveloped). But you? You’re allowed to feel what you feel. You’re allowed to take up space.
Grab my free boundary-setting scripts at kaylareilly.com/saythis, and remember—sometimes the most healing thing is finally seeing yourself.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
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👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Dr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize their hurt feelings over their children's wellbeing.
"Kids are born naked and naive. What they see in their home, as far as they're concerned, is their reality," Dr. Waldman explains. When that reality fractures during divorce, children experience profound disorientation and insecurity. The conversation delves deep into parental behaviors that create what he calls a "loyalty squeeze" – when children feel torn between two people they love, unsure who to trust or believe.
The episode reveals startling patterns: children's academic performance dropping, social withdrawal, depression, eating and sleeping disturbances – all stemming from being caught in parental conflict. Perhaps most eye-opening is Dr. Waldman's observation that alienated children often reach adolescence or young adulthood and suddenly realize they've been manipulated, sometimes cutting off the alienating parent entirely.
Beyond alienation, we explore other common "sins" divorcing parents commit: fighting in front of children, using them as confidants, the "Disney parent" syndrome, and rushing into new relationships (explaining why second marriages fail at an alarming 65% rate). Dr. Waldman offers practical, compassionate strategies for protecting children during separation – speaking positively about your ex, maintaining consistency between households, and seeking professional support.
Whether you're navigating divorce, supporting someone who is, or processing your own experience as a child of divorced parents, this conversation offers validation, clarity and a roadmap for breaking destructive patterns. As Dr. Waldman wisely concludes: "You have to put the kids' needs first."
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
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👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Are you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers.
In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an official diagnosis with three distinct types that affect us differently. From the frenetic burnout that drives us to check emails during family dinner to the worn-out burnout that makes everything feel urgent, we unpack the hidden symptoms our culture has normalized as "just being busy."
What makes this episode particularly powerful is Dr. Tai's surprising revelation that 99% of her burnout clients stay in their jobs after implementing her recovery strategies. The problem isn't necessarily your career—it's your relationship with work and the boundaries you've never learned to set.
You'll discover practical, immediately applicable techniques to break free from the burnout cycle without sacrificing your success. Learn how a simple dopamine detox can reset your anxious mind, why processing your workplace stress is essential for mental clarity, and how small boundary shifts can reclaim hours of your life each week.
For anyone who's feeling depleted, resentful, or trapped in their career, this conversation offers hope and tangible solutions. Your work doesn't have to consume your identity or drain your soul. Listen now to discover how making your work work for you might be simpler than you think.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication.
"You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the time," Erin observes, highlighting how many women see advocating for their needs as selfish rather than essential. Through our conversation, she unpacks the psychological and social factors that keep women silent, offering practical strategies to break this pattern.
The magic of this episode lies in its actionable advice. Erin shares her "magic sentence" formula—"I felt [emotion] when you [specific action], moving forward, can we [solution]?"—a simple yet powerful framework that transforms how you communicate. She emphasizes the importance of processing emotions before conversations and being specific about what you need, rather than expecting others to figure it out.
We explore the balance between assertiveness and aggression, the value of empathy even when it's difficult, and how to recognize when you're in relationships that consistently dismiss your needs. As Erin aptly puts it, "Don't go to a hardware store for bread"—sometimes we need to accept that certain people cannot provide the emotional support we're seeking.
Whether you're struggling in romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics, this episode provides the emotional intelligence tools to express yourself clearly and confidently. Challenge yourself to practice these strategies in small ways—your relationships (and your wellbeing) will thank you.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Struggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is.
In this episode of Not Your Therapist, I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evolution Wellness in Wilmington, NC. We dive deep into what drives emotional intimacy in long-term relationships, why couples often feel disconnected over time, and what to do when your communication keeps turning into conflict.
We unpack the psychology behind emotional connection, explore the Gottman concept of “bids for connection” (and why they’re so important), and talk about how simple shifts in attention, tone, and timing can bring the spark back to your relationship. Whether you're in the honeymoon stage or a decade in, this episode gives real, practical advice for building stronger communication and connection with your partner—without needing to overhaul your whole life.
Plus, we get into:
If you're in a long-term relationship and want to deepen connection, improve communication, and feel more like a team again—this one’s a must-listen.
💬 Want to work with Amy? If you’re a resident of North Carolina, she offers both in-person and telehealth sessions through EvolutionWellnessNC.com.
💻 Want to work with me, Kayla? I take a limited number of 1:1 coaching clients—learn more at kaylareilly.com/workwithme.
🎧 And don’t forget to subscribe and binge more episodes of Not Your Therapist—packed with mental health truth bombs to level up your relationships, mindset, and life.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
When Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting resources in the area: The Wilmington Mom.
In this episode, Amanda and I get real about what it actually feels like to become a mom—and how no amount of planning can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster. We talk about the identity crisis, the burnout, and the mental health struggles so many moms silently carry. Did you know 62% of parents report burnout, and 73% of millennial moms admit they hide their stress from their families? Yeah. That.
Amanda also shares her personal experience with postpartum anxiety, including the vivid, intrusive thoughts no one warns you about. It’s raw, honest, and something up to 15% of new moms experience—but most don’t have the words or support to talk about.
We also dive into the magic of finding your village—whether it’s a moms’ group like MomCo, a local nonprofit like Fourth Trimester Mission, or just a few other women who say, “Yep, same here.” Amanda offers practical tips for introverted moms, and we explore how community can literally save your sanity.
Oh—and stick around for the part where we talk about how water literally calms your nervous system. No, really. If you take away one thing from this episode, it might just be: get in water, go outside, and call a friend.
If you’re a new mom, an overwhelmed mom, or a woman wondering why motherhood feels heavier than you expected—this one’s for you. You are not alone in this beautiful, messy ride.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Your Body Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Fighting for You
Diet culture has fed us a lie: that thinness equals health, worth, and discipline. But what if everything you’ve been taught about food and your body is wrong? Specialist eating disorder dietitian Emma Townsin is here to flip the script on restrictive diets, emotional eating, and why your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s actually trying to keep you alive.
From childhood, we absorb sneaky messages linking thinness to morality—through cartoons, movies, casual comments, and even healthcare providers whose training is often backed by the weight loss and pharmaceutical industries. The result? A society obsessed with shrinking bodies, leading to cycles of shame, restriction, and disordered eating.
Emma breaks down the science of food restriction and why dieting backfires. When you cut calories or try to control your weight, your body goes into survival mode—boosting hunger, obsessing over food, and slowing metabolism. That’s why diets fail long-term, and why even people in larger bodies can be physiologically starving. The most shocking truth? Many people with eating disorders in bigger bodies are ignored or even encouraged to keep dieting—even when they meet clinical criteria for anorexia.
So, what’s the game-changer? Collaboration over control. Instead of battling cravings or blaming yourself for emotional eating, you can learn to decode what your body is trying to tell you. Much like mindfulness teaches us to listen to emotions rather than suppress them, we can apply the same approach to hunger, fullness, and cravings—because your body isn’t broken, it’s on your side.
If you struggle with constant food thoughts, stress around eating, or feel like your hunger is out of control, this episode will shift your perspective. As Emma puts it: When we stop fighting our bodies and start listening, we unlock real food freedom—and a healthier, more compassionate relationship with ourselves.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever wonder what your therapist really thinks about you? 🤔 In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Darrian Pelkey, MSW, LCSWA, joins me to spill the tea on what goes on behind the scenes in therapy.
We’re pulling back the curtain on the things therapists wish clients knew—from common misconceptions about therapy to what we actually think when you apologize for crying in session. If you’ve ever worried about being a “bad” client, overthought what you said after a session, or wondered if your therapist is judging you, this one’s for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ The biggest myths about therapy (and why they’re totally wrong)
✅ How therapists really feel about late cancellations, oversharing, and ghosting
✅ Why your therapist isn’t sitting there analyzing your every word (seriously, we promise)
✅ The one thing therapists wish more clients understood about the process
✅ How to get the most out of therapy—without feeling awkward or self-conscious
Therapy is a judgment-free zone, but so many clients carry unnecessary guilt, shame, or uncertainty about the process. Let’s clear the air and make therapy feel less intimidating and more empowering.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Struggling with low libido? Feeling disconnected from your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed sex therapist Shie Benisti, LCSW, CST, joins us to break down the real reasons why sexual desire fluctuates—and what you can do to bring intimacy back.
We dive into the mental, emotional, and relational blocks that impact desire, including the role of stress, hormonal changes, and the mental load that disproportionately affects women. Shie also shares practical, no-BS strategies to shift from frazzled to fulfilled in your sex life.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ Why libido isn’t static—and what naturally impacts desire over time
✅ How the mental load (work, kids, responsibilities) kills intimacy
✅ The surprising reason why “performance anxiety” makes things worse
✅ The connection between past trauma and sexual desire
✅ How to navigate mismatched libidos in a relationship
✅ Simple, science-backed ways to reignite intimacy
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t I want sex anymore?” or “How do I get the spark back?”—this episode is for you.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totally deserves it.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ What emotional regulation is (and what it isn’t)
✔️ Why your brain struggles to stay calm under stress
✔️ Simple, science-backed ways to regulate emotions in real time
✔️ How therapy can help you break toxic emotional patterns
If you’ve ever lost your cool, sent a regrettable text, or let your emotions run the show—this one’s for you. 🎧 Hit play now and start managing your emotions like a pro!
#EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealthPodcast #ShrinkShots #Therapy101 #SelfGrowth
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever wondered why you have emotions—or why they sometimes feel like they’re running your entire life? In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down the science behind emotions, what they’re actually trying to tell you, and how to deal with them without letting them take over. Spoiler alert: Your emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re data. You just need to know how to read them.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ What emotions really are and why they exist
✔️ Why some emotions feel way too intense
✔️ How to process emotions instead of ignoring or drowning in them
✔️ When therapy can help you manage emotional overwhelm
If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I like this?”—this episode is for you. 🎧 Hit play and start making sense of your feelings today!
#Emotions #MentalHealthPodcast #ShrinkShots #EmotionalIntelligence #Therapy101
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever feel like you’re either all in on health—meal prepping, intense workouts, cutting out everything fun—or completely off the wagon? That all-or-nothing mindset is exhausting, unsustainable, and (spoiler alert) not the key to long-term health.
In this episode, I sit down with health coach Liz Rodriguez to reframe what real wellness looks like. We’re ditching the toxic perfectionism around food and fitness and learning how to create a healthy lifestyle that actually fits into your life.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ How to break free from all-or-nothing thinking around food and exercise
✔️ Why being healthy doesn’t mean giving up the foods you love (yes, even Cheez-Its!)
✔️ Creative ways to fit sustainable wellness habits into your routine
✔️ How to stop feeling guilty when life isn’t perfectly balanced
This is my very first guest episode, and Liz is the perfect person to kick it off—funny, down-to-earth, and full of real advice you can actually use.
Liz Rodriguez is a health coach who helps people redefine what health looks like so they can build sustainable habits without burnout. She believes in progress over perfection and teaches her clients how to ditch restrictive rules, reframe their mindset, and enjoy the process of living a healthy life.
Find Liz online:
🌐 Website: lizrodriguezcoaching.com
📌 Facebook: Liz Rodriguez Coaching
🎧 Hit play now and start redefining health on your terms!
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Did your childhood leave you with some emotional gaps? Enter reparenting—the process of giving yourself the love, support, and validation you may not have received growing up. In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we break down what reparenting is, why it matters, and how you can start healing old wounds by becoming the nurturing, compassionate parent you needed. Learn practical strategies to soothe your inner child, set healthier boundaries, and rewrite the messages that still impact your self-worth today.
💡 Topics Covered:
✔️ What is reparenting, and why does it matter?
✔️ Signs you might need to reparent yourself
✔️ Simple ways to start reparenting today
✔️ How working with a therapist can deepen your healing
If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying emotional baggage from childhood, this episode is for you. Hit play and start giving yourself the care you deserve!
🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to subscribe for more no-BS mental health insights!
#Reparenting #InnerChildHealing #MentalHealthPodcast #EmotionalHealing #ShrinkShots
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Dissociation: When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma Response
Ever found yourself zoning out mid-conversation or realizing you don’t remember the last five minutes of your drive? You’re not alone. This might be dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism that helps protect the brain from stress and trauma.
In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:
✅ What dissociation is and why it happens.
✅ The neuroscience behind dissociation—how the brain responds to trauma.
✅ Signs you may be experiencing dissociation (hint: it’s more common than you think).
✅ Practical strategies to stay present and regain control.
✅ Evidence-based therapies like EMDR, DBT, and Somatic Experiencing that can help.
Dissociation isn’t just “spacing out”—it’s your brain’s way of coping. But the good news? You’re not stuck here. Learn how to recognize and manage dissociation so you can reclaim your sense of self and presence.
🎧 Listen now & take the first step toward healing!
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Did you know your gut is your “second brain”? The connection between your gut and brain, known as the gut-brain axis, plays a huge role in your mental health. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we explore how what you eat can impact anxiety, depression, and your overall mood.
Learn why your gut health matters, the signs of gut imbalance, and the foods that can either harm or heal your microbiome. We’ll also share simple, practical steps to improve your gut health, like incorporating probiotic-rich foods, managing stress, and staying hydrated. If you’re ready to take a deeper look at the connection between diet and mental wellness, this episode is for you.
Tune in to discover how small changes to your diet and lifestyle can lead to big improvements in your mood and mental clarity.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Your brain is constantly filtering reality, but what if those filters are twisting the truth? Cognitive distortions are sneaky thought patterns that make you believe things that aren’t actually true—and they’re a major reason behind anxiety, relationship problems, and low self-esteem.
In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re breaking down:
✅ What cognitive distortions are and how they hijack your thinking
✅ Real-life examples of distorted thinking in celebrities, politicians, and pop culture
✅ The top cognitive distortions that fuel anxiety, self-doubt, and overthinking
✅ How to catch and challenge these faulty thought patterns before they ruin your day
If you’ve ever spiraled into worst-case-scenario thinking, assumed people were mad at you with no proof, or felt like one mistake defined your whole life, your brain might be lying to you.
🎧 Hit play now to learn how to clean up your mental filters and stop falling for your own brain’s tricks.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever find yourself getting irrationally annoyed at someone, only to realize later that you were actually mad at yourself? Or maybe someone accused you of something completely off-base, and you thought, Wait… that’s not me, that’s YOU!? That, my friends, is projection, one of the sneakiest defense mechanisms that can wreck relationships and keep us from real self-awareness.
In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re diving into:
✅ What projection really is (and why we all do it sometimes)
✅ How to spot projection in yourself and others
✅ Famous examples of projection—politicians, religious leaders, and even your boss
✅ How to stop projecting and actually deal with your own emotions
If you’ve ever wondered why certain people trigger you so much, or why some folks love blaming others for their own behavior, this episode is for you.
🎧 Hit play now and learn how to recognize projection—so you can stop being mad at people for things that were never really about them in the first place.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Toddler tantrums are tough, but they’re also a normal (albeit exhausting) part of parenting. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re diving into the chaos of meltdowns to help you survive them with your sanity intact. You’ll learn why tantrums happen, what’s going on in your child’s brain during a meltdown, and why reasoning with them is impossible in the heat of the moment.
We’ll also tackle how your toddler’s big feelings might trigger unresolved emotions in you, and I’ll share tools to manage your own reactions while staying calm. Plus, discover practical strategies to handle tantrums with confidence and compassion—and why staying grounded helps build trust and emotional resilience in your child.
If you’re tired of power struggles and ready for a fresh perspective on parenting toddlers, this episode is for you. Tune in now and learn how to navigate tantrum season like a pro!
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Setting boundaries isn’t about controlling others—it’s about protecting your time, energy, and mental health. But here’s where most people get stuck: they set a boundary but don’t actually enforce it. If you say, “I won’t tolerate yelling,” but stick around when someone raises their voice, your boundary isn’t doing anything.
In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:
✅ What boundaries really are (and why they’re essential for mental health)
✅ The biggest mistakes people make when setting boundaries
✅ The 3 types of boundaries—physical, emotional, and time/energy
✅ How to set boundaries without guilt (and actually enforce them)
If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, saying no, or feeling drained by relationships, this episode will give you the tools to set clear, strong boundaries that actually stick.
🎧 Hit play now and start protecting your peace—without feeling like an ahole.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever feel like you’re losing yourself in a relationship? Maybe your mood depends on your partner’s mood, or you avoid conflict to keep the peace. That’s a differentiation problem—and it’s one of the biggest reasons people struggle with boundaries, emotional independence, and self-worth in relationships.
In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re breaking down:
✅ What differentiation actually means (and why it’s crucial for healthy relationships)
✅ Signs you might have low differentiation (people-pleasing, absorbing emotions, avoiding conflict)
✅ How to stop losing yourself in relationships (without pushing people away)
✅ Simple strategies to strengthen your sense of self
If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, over-functioning in relationships, or feeling like your identity shifts based on who you’re with, this episode is for you.
🎧 Hit play now and learn how to build healthier, stronger relationships—without sacrificing YOU in the process.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in relationships? Your attachment style is the blueprint for how you connect with others—shaped by early experiences and influencing everything from romantic relationships to friendships and even work dynamics.
In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we dive deep into the four attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and explore how they impact your love life, emotional needs, and communication patterns. You’ll learn:
✅ How early caregiver interactions shape attachment styles
✅ Real-life examples of how attachment plays out in relationships
✅ Why anxious or avoidant tendencies can cause relationship struggles
✅ Practical strategies to shift toward a secure attachment style
🔎 Discover your attachment style today! Check out the online quizzes linked in the show notes.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
You’ve had that oh sht* moment—where suddenly, your entire past, your relationships, or your behaviors just click. That’s insight, one of the biggest game-changers in therapy. But here’s the catch: insight alone doesn’t fix anything.
In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:
✅ What insight actually is & why it’s crucial for growth
✅ Why just knowing your patterns isn’t enough
✅ How to turn those “aha” moments into real change
✅ Simple strategies to rewire your habits and behaviors
If you’ve ever wondered why awareness alone doesn’t stop self-sabotage, overthinking, or unhealthy patterns, this episode is for you.
🎧 Hit play now and start turning your insight into action!
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com
Ever feel dismissed when you open up about something important? Validation is more than just a "nice-to-have"—it's a core emotional need that affects how we connect with others and how we see ourselves. In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re diving into:
✅ Why validation matters for mental health & relationships
✅ Where we often seek validation (and why it backfires)
✅ How to validate yourself instead of relying on others
✅ What to say when someone dismisses your feelings
If you’ve ever felt unheard, misunderstood, or like your emotions are "too much," this episode is for you. Plus, get actionable strategies to break the cycle of seeking external validation.
🎧 Tune in now and learn how to finally feel seen—without needing anyone else’s permission.
👉 Grab your FREE Audio Training: Get Unstuck- 3 Strategies to Break Free from Unhealthy Patterns
👉 Follow me on social @notyourtherapist.kayla
👉 Ask me a question hello@kaylareilly.com