76 - Supported, Not Shielded: How Jenna Led Her Kids Into Our World of Terminal Illness

As my husband, Lance, lived with dementia and a terminal diagnosis, the reality of our life stood in stark contrast to the world most families knew. In a season when many people pulled back or didn’t know how to be with us, my friend and former cohost, Jenna, made a different choice: instead of keeping her children at a distance from our reality, she intentionally brought them into our world.

In this conversation, Jenna and I talk about what it looked like for her to invite her kids into a life that was not their own — into our home, our routines, and the visible realities of disability and terminal illness. She shares how she decided what to say (and what not to say), how she weighed their different ages and personalities, and how she tried to be honest without overwhelming them.

We walk through some of the hardest moments: the unpredictable behaviors that can come with dementia, the questions her kids asked, and the conversations that followed their time with Lance. Jenna also reflects on what she saw growing in her kids as they showed up again and again — their capacity for presence, empathy, and staying with someone whose life looked very different from their own.

I share what it meant to me, as Lance’s wife and caregiver, to have a friend willing to sit with us in our reality and bring her children along, not because they had to, but because she believed this was part of forming who they are. If you’ve ever wondered whether to include kids in situations involving disability, dementia, or terminal illness — or if you’re worried you might get it “wrong” — I hope this episode gives you ideas, courage, and a sense that you don’t have to navigate it alone.