83: Perimenopause Starts at 35: What You Need To Know

If you've been blaming stress, aging, or "just not trying hard enough" for the weight gain, the bad sleep, and the feeling that your body is working against you — this episode is about to reframe everything.

I sat down with Stephanie Traver, a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, and founder of Vital Menopause in Colorado. Stephanie has built her entire practice around one mission: making sure women have access to real, evidence-based care in perimenopause and menopause. And she is a wealth of knowledge.

In this episode, we get into the biology of what's actually happening in your body during perimenopause — and why the old playbook (cut calories, work out more, push through it) just doesn't work anymore. We also talk about hormone therapy, who's a good candidate, and the myths that are still circulating even though the research has moved on. Plus, Stephanie shares the nutrition and lifestyle pillars she builds her entire practice around.

What you'll learn:

📌 Why perimenopause can start as early as 35 — and the very first sign most women miss
📌 The lesser-known symptoms that are almost always hormonal
📌 Exactly what's happening biologically with belly fat — the insulin resistance and estrogen connection explained clearly
📌 Who is (and isn't) a good candidate for hormone therapy, and how to have that conversation with your doctor
📌 The three nutrition foundations Stephanie tells every single patient
📌 How mindset is part of the clinical picture

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Vital Menopause (Stephanie's Practice)

Your Next Steps:

Work with Me
Change your mindset in perimenopause
Connect on Social

⭐️ Register for the FREE workshop, How To Lose Weight In Perimenopause. 

April 8th at 6 pm MT (replay will be sent, but you have to register!) 

TAP HERE to grab your spot!

Transcript

Ashley (00:04)

All right, welcome back, my friend. If you have been listening to the Family Fork for any length of time, you know that we talk about how perimenopause and menopause, affects absolutely everything, your sleep, your weight, your energy, this elusive ability to build healthy habits. And honestly, it kind of just affects your overall sense of who you are.

Ashley (00:30)

And one of the things that I hear most often is that you feel overwhelmed by all of it. You get that something's happening to your body. And so you try and go out and gather a bunch of information about this season of life. But at the end of the day, you still don't know what to actually do about it. And that can feel frustrating. So today's guest is the perfect person to help you answer those questions.

Stephanie Traver is a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, which is a credential that absolutely matters to this conversation. She is the founder of Vital Menopause, a Colorado-based clinic that specializes in hormone therapy, metabolic health, overall support for women in midlife. It's amazing. And Stephanie has built her entire practice

Ashley (01:27)

around a single mission, changing the conversation around menopause and making sure that women have access to evidence-based care, which is really important, real information and community support that you deserve. So I am excited for this conversation because Stephanie is truly a wealth of knowledge. And today she's here to help us understand all of the ways that this hormonal season of life

Ashley (01:55)

is showing up in your body, your mind, and your day-to-day experience. So Stephanie, welcome to the Family Fork. We are so glad that you are here.

Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here. It's always wonderful to be talking about women, talking about perimenopause and menopause and all the ways that we can help these women better.

Ashley (02:18)

Excellent. I'm so excited. Well, let's just jump right in. So a lot of my listeners think that they're experiencing hormonal changes, but they often assume that they're too young for menopause. They think that's like 50, 55, 60, something older. Can you walk us through like the difference between perimenopause and menopause and sort of when women can expect each of those phases to begin?

Stephanie Traver (02:46)

Yeah. So menopause is actually just a day and that is 12 months from the last menstrual period. And a lot of women don't have cycles for whatever reason. They're on hormonal contraceptive, they have an IUD, they've had an ablation or a hysterectomy. So they don't know when that day is and that's okay. That day doesn't matter as much, but the average age in the United States is around 51.

And hormonal shifts that are labeled as perimenopause can start generally around 35. And it can happen earlier for women that have premature menopause, but that's kind of more typical as 35 to 40. And then it can happen kind of throughout that time. And it's not like this is the moment that you know, which is why it can be so confusing because a lot of the symptoms are

kind of overlapping with things that happen in our lives, things that can also be brought on by other conditions. So the first thing that most women notice is they say, I don't feel like myself. And they've actually done studies on that particular phrase. And it's a consolation of, feel a little bit more anxious, a little bit more irritable. I'm not sleeping well. I don't have as much like energy or

spark for things that normally light me up and I can't quite put my finger on it. It doesn't feel exactly like depression or anxiety like I've maybe experienced before but kind of similar to that. So that's usually the first sign that a lot of women report even before menstrual cycle changes.

Ashley (04:30)

Yeah, I'm so glad to hear you say 35 because I hear this all the time. Like, it's not happening yet. I'm still having my cycle. But that's what people are saying, women are saying, you know, I don't feel like myself. Something is off. And I think we sort of as women, we're really good at putting things in the background. We're like, meh, I'll deal with it another day. I'm tired. I'll just get a little bit more. So, you know, like we try and come up with these band-aid solutions.

Stephanie Traver (04:34)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley (05:00)

And I know that that doesn't work, ⁓ but I think it's encouraging to hear you say around 35 or so, so that women can start looking for these changes to be occurring and then educating themselves into what we can do about it. So I think that's very, very interesting. Now, when you talk a little bit about the symptoms, you know, we do have some of those that are a little bit more common, like the fatigue and maybe brain fog, joint pain, that kind of thing.

What are some of those other things that women might be glossing over and thinking, like I know for me, I've had a lot of joint pain, like my hips hurt all the time, but what are some of the lesser known symptoms that could signal a pretty significant hormonal shift?

Stephanie Traver (05:49)

I think some of the big red flags are like, if your period has gotten heavier or changed in nature. So it's like, was cruising along like this. If you get a cycle and it's been cruising along like this and then all of a sudden it's made a significant change, that should kind of take a box for you. Like, hmm, this is probably hormonal and not just stress or aging or all the other things that we kind of like.

Other things are hair loss. A lot of hair loss is hormonal and it can be triggered by other things, but a lot of it is hormonal. So if your hair is thinning, if your ponytail is all of a sudden really skinny, especially if you're having thinning like right here or your part is widening, that's usually hormonal. If your eyebrows are starting to shorten, you know, the outer thirds are going away. That's usually, you know, related to your thyroid, which is also connected to perimenopause. So

Like those should be some things that really get your attention. Itchy, like a creepy crawly sensation under your skin. That's a really common one that people don't often like connect. ⁓ Fatigue that doesn't make sense. like I, you know, slept, but I feel like I need a nap or I cannot sleep. I cannot fall asleep ⁓ or I cannot stay asleep. Those are like just classic hormone things.

people don't connect to hormones. ⁓

Ashley (07:18)

Yeah. Yeah.

just such a good indicator. We, we, again, we like to not, you know, we compartmentalize. It's like, oh, I'm not sleeping well or, maybe I, you know, had caffeine too late in the day or whatever it might be. and yeah, I think it's, we're learning.

just in the last couple of years, the conversation has changed so significantly around perimenopause and menopause and what's occurring. So hopefully that's helping, but I think it's good for women to know exactly what to look for. So you touched on this a little bit, but sort of beyond this notion of like hot flashes, which I think a lot of women start to experience, those like fluctuating periods that happens, of course,

Stephanie Traver (07:41)

Thank you.

Yeah.

Ashley (08:07)

What are some other effects that these declining hormones, what other effects does it have in your body? I know something I'm concerned about because I'm a breast cancer survivor is like bone density. know women talk a lot about like cardiovascular health. Histamine intolerance is something that I am, maybe it's just because I'm searching for it, but I am seeing in my Instagram feed everywhere.

Talk to us about a couple of those things and sort of how that relates to our shifting hormones.

Stephanie Traver (08:41)

Yeah. So you're not going to have a symptom when it comes to the bone loss. You're, know, maybe when it's way too late at 65, you'll get a bone scan and find out, you have osteoporosis. So that's not necessarily going to show up and be obvious, but one thing we do see is muscle loss. We start naturally losing muscle at 35 and you might notice it like I'm in the gym and working out, it's, I'm, it's harder for me to see change or.

I'm just like, seems like my butt disappeared, you know, like those are big muscles that are easy for us to notice. And so when they start shrinking, we can see it. and especially if you're not putting in like consistent, resistance training, that will just naturally just disappear. ⁓ so that's one thing. And then there's this metabolic, ⁓ picture that's happening underneath the surface. So if you go in and get your labs drawn for your normal,

Ashley (09:12)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (09:38)

well visit and they're doing like a lipid panel and they're checking your blood sugar and all those things that should be done regularly. ⁓ You'll notice like suddenly there's a shift. It's like, it's always been, you're fine, good, see you later. And all of a sudden they're like, hey, your blood sugar is elevated. Your cholesterol is up. ⁓ We're worried about this. That's not a coincidence. When your estrogen dips, your insulin ⁓ resistance goes up.

And that makes it harder for you to have healthy, stable blood sugar. ⁓ Your body's trying to make more hormone and cholesterol is a parent molecule to all the hormones. So that cholesterol goes up trying to help you. It doesn't work because the ovaries are not doing their thing so well anymore, but it's trying. So you end up with elevated cholesterol levels.

Ashley (10:25)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (10:36)

And that put together ⁓ leads to more cardiovascular disease. So there's multiple ways to combat that, but that's why it's important to know what your baseline risks are and to be keeping a closer pulse on that as those hormones are becoming less stable because ⁓ that's going to shift.

Ashley (10:43)

Yep. Yep.

Stephanie Traver (11:04)

And doing the same thing you've always done may not be as protective for your heart as it was before. So that's why we kind of talk so much about fiber being really important and omegas being really important because those are heart protective macros, you know, they play a huge role in all of those things. So even if you are not a good candidate for estrogen for some reason, you can.

Ashley (11:23)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (11:32)

do those things and make a difference. You're not doomed. ⁓

Ashley (11:35)

Yeah. Yeah.

And I think it's so you bring up such a good point that it's like this notion of testing. I think it's so easy to push off your doctor's appointment or not get your blood labs or not have time to like fast in the morning and get in and get those labs. But the reality is that if you don't know where you're starting, you don't know when things are ticking up. And I have seen this with my mom. I've seen this with some friends of mine where they're like, my gosh, my cholesterol is high.

Stephanie Traver (11:51)

Right, right. Yeah.

Mm-mm.

Hmm.

Ashley (12:04)

And so, you I've been prescribed a statin and in my world, because I love functional medicine so much, I'm like, well, you're not deficient in statins. That's not the problem. And so there's like a bigger, there's a bigger problem at play. And so that's why I think these conversations are so important because we have to be educated on some of those things like your blood sugar. know, a lot of women will say, well, my HbA1c shows that I'm pre-diabetic. And I'm like,

Yeah, maybe, but you can make some adjustments to your food and your lifestyle that allow you to have a better profile there or a better, you know, lipid panel. would like the results will show up stronger and better. There's there's things that we can do and you don't necessarily need to take a pill for this and a pill for that. And and looking at some of those ⁓ alternatives, I think is really helpful.

Stephanie Traver (12:53)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (12:59)

And I love that you mention ⁓ hormone replacement therapy. Or lately, have seen it listed as MHT, I think, menopause hormone therapy. So I don't know if there's a switch in the acronym that we're talking about it, but I've noticed that. Talk about who makes a really good candidate for that, and how do we get started having that conversation with, I

Stephanie Traver (13:09)

Yeah.

Ashley (13:24)

think lot of women are still unfortunately hearing from their doctors like, this is just what happens when you get older. I know the black box label has come off of, I'm assuming estrogen replacement therapy. And so it makes it a little bit easier, but insurance is still behind, like a lot of these things aren't covered by insurance yet. ⁓ So how do we get started with this? How do we know that we might be a good candidate and how do we talk to our doctor about it?

Stephanie Traver (13:36)

Okay.

Yeah, so it's almost easier to talk about who's not a good candidate than who is a good candidate because most women are great candidates for hormone therapy. ⁓ essentially, if you are having symptoms ⁓ that act like perimenopause and you are in the, you are between the ages of, you know, 35 and

within 10 years past the last menstrual period. So that's a pretty wide window. So for the average woman, maybe we're talking about between 35 and 65 about, ⁓ they've pretty widely said the benefits outweigh the risks. And ⁓ if you have had personally a estrogen receptor,

positive breast cancer, that may not be true. ⁓ That requires a conversation with an expert to know whether or not that is true. There might be certain types of hormone therapy that's not the best thing for you. ⁓ If you have personally had a blood clot, you should have a conversation about which types of hormone therapy are gonna be safest for you. ⁓

Ashley (15:01)

Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Traver (15:18)

And those are the big categories of things that we wanted to know about. And otherwise, if it's done correctly, following evidence-based guidelines, ⁓

Everyone in that group is a good candidate. Now, if you are older beyond the 10 years past your last initial period, you still might be a good candidate, but we have to do a deeper dive into your risk benefit profile to know. ⁓ Because it's not as black and white. It's not ⁓ obvious like, yeah, the benefits outweigh the risk. We need to know what specifically are we trying to treat.

or improve or prevent and what symptoms are you having and what are your real risks. So that looks like a pretty in-depth look at their cardiovascular risk and one of their risks for Alzheimer's and things like that. But yeah, there's...

Ashley (16:21)

Okay, good.

Stephanie Traver (16:25)

a lot of statements about like, well, you know, you have high blood pressure, you shouldn't have it. Not true. You've had a blood clot, you shouldn't have it. Not true. You have a family history of breast cancer, you shouldn't have it. Not true. Like those are myths. It's a very safe option for those people as long as the person who's prescribing it knows what they're doing with it.

Ashley (16:51)

Great. Yeah, I love this conversation that has changed. it really truly feels like the last two or three years. And maybe it's just because it's become more important to me. But I think the more we talk about it, the more it helps women to understand. I can go to my doctor and I can say, you know, but I heard or I've seen some research. I've looked at the research and this I might be a candidate for that.

Stephanie Traver (16:53)

Thank

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (17:19)

this and I really do encourage women that if you aren't getting the answers that you need, find somebody else to talk to. I know it can feel challenging to find a practitioner that is close to you, maybe takes insurance or not and that really listens to you, but for a couple of months trying to find the right person to give you a lifelong relationship with that person to really support

what we're doing now in our 30s and 40s and 50s is going to help us get to our 70s and our 80s and to feel really good when we're doing it. So I really advocate for women to find a practitioner that's listening to them. like you're saying, Stephanie, a lot of these things are myths that are being perpetuated. And I think the conversation is starting to squash those myths, which I love. I'm all behind it. Now,

Stephanie Traver (18:15)

Yeah.

Ashley (18:15)

Hormone

therapy works for a lot of women, but I also know that there are a lot of other things we can do to improve our health overall. And one of the things that we talk about here at The Family Fork is nutrition. And I am a tremendous advocate for anti-inflammatory nutrition. think every woman over the age of 35 should be eating this way. And what I provide here is that

It doesn't have to be boring salads or gross steamed vegetables. I eat anti-inflammatory every day, and I still find a way to have burgers and tacos and all sorts of things that are easy, fun, comfort foods. ⁓ Talk a little bit about what you see in your practice in terms of nutrition and how that can be a major driver to being another supportive therapy in this phase of life.

Stephanie Traver (18:46)

Yeah.

Yeah, I am so on board with what you're doing and what you're supporting because, ⁓ you know, and so much so that it's, it's just integrated. It's part of my practice. I have ⁓ a wellness coach as part of my team. ⁓ And when we offer, ⁓ you know, medical weight loss, it's part of, it's part of it. do, ⁓ we talk about resistance training and movement.

and we talk about ⁓ nutrition and that all comes together because ⁓ not only for weight loss, but just for thriving and doing well in perimenopause and menopause, it's an essential foundational part of the puzzle. ⁓ It's just so, so important. And like the key tenants, I'm like telling someone like quickly not to overwhelm you, here's what you need to know.

You know, eat real food. ⁓ Get at a minimum, you know, like most women, about 90 grams of protein. Try to get 25 to 30 grams of fiber, a mixture of soluble and insoluble fiber, and really reduce or eliminate alcohol if it's a possibility for you. Like those are things that you will notice a big shift ⁓ in how your body responds to you.

if you can do those things ⁓ as just like the ABCs, know, the basics. Yeah. And, you know, once you do that, if you want to come back and we'll talk about like, what do you do if you have a histamine intolerance? You know, what does that look like? How is that different from if you don't? And what do you do if you, ⁓ you know, have some gut microbiome concerns and we need to kind of try and reset that and

Ashley (20:43)

Yeah, yeah, the basics.

Stephanie Traver (21:07)

You know, we can deep dive into all of those things, but the foundations are, you know, are there. and a lot of people have no idea what they're eating. So just track it for a little bit and, ⁓ not to obsess over it, not to restrict yourself, not to shame yourself, just to learn what am I doing currently? What does that look like when you say certain number of grams of something? What does that even mean?

Ashley (21:10)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (21:37)

in my day to day.

Ashley (21:39)

Yeah, yeah. I think that awareness is so good and it's that you mentioned sort of like gut health issues and in previous episodes, I have been very transparent about the fact that I have struggled with Candida overgrowth pretty much my entire life that I can trace back and had a couple of years with SIBO, which is like a bacterial overgrowth. And right now I'm really struggling with like histamine intolerance. so

this is again why it's so important to have that relationship with your practitioner. A lot of testing needs to happen. You know there's this adage in functional medicine that it's like test don't guess because things can be happening and you might think you know you're eating well or maybe you're maybe you're struggling with cravings for example and you think that it's just because your hormones are off but actually it could be that you have a yeast overgrowth and so it's really important to

educate yourself with your practitioner with the results of your testing to understand what's going on. And then what I have found personally with the women that I work with, starting with nutrition can be one of the easiest and fastest ways to make changes, whether you're in perimenopause or menopause, or you have some gut health issues or whatever's going on, really being aware of what you're eating and starting there.

can be hugely impactful. And often I find, and I'm sure you do too Stephanie, like women who kind of adjust their nutrition within a couple of weeks, barring that they don't have some other, you know, gut issue going on or something like that, they actually start to feel really good pretty quickly. They're sleeping better. They have more afternoon energies. You know, they're not crashing at three o'clock in the afternoon. They're not relying on caffeine. So,

Stephanie Traver (23:24)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (23:31)

It can have a faster effect than we recognize. And that's why I just really advocate that starting with your food, because you have to eat, so starting with your food can be the fastest way to sort of get you on an upswing to feeling better.

Stephanie Traver (23:39)

Yeah.

Yeah, when we talk about like the things that you're doing every day or multiple times a day, every day, like those have a huge impact. So, you know, if it's your nervous system is dysregulated and that's a huge part of your, ⁓ you know, your cortisol is constantly high and you're putting on lots of belly fat. Start with, start the morning with five, you know, deep breaths.

and you know, look at the morning sun before you look at anything else, like before you start being productive, like just give yourself, it takes, you know, under a minute to do this. Do that and do it every day and just see like if in five days you don't feel a difference, maybe it's not for you, but I can almost guarantee that you will. And it's

Ashley (24:25)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yep.

Stephanie Traver (24:42)

You know, food is something that you're doing multiple times a day, every single day, and you don't have to be perfect, but it can make a huge impact because of that consistency. You're doing it so often that if you just shift one thing just a little bit, you can really make a difference.

Ashley (24:59)

Yeah, yeah, I would agree with that. let's talk, you touched on it a little bit a few minutes ago around like cortisol, putting on the belly fat. I know I struggle with this. It's like that spare tire starts to show up around your midsection. You're like, what is happening? And so many women try and reduce calories or maybe they try and like work out more or they just get

I think this is the majority of women. just get frustrated and they're like, forget it. This is just what happens when I get older. I'm going to gain weight. I'm going to be heavier. And I know that that's not true. Talk to us a little bit about how this is impacting not only that what we sometimes call like Menno belly, but also just weight overall. And I know that nutrition, strength training,

Stephanie Traver (25:47)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (25:54)

mindset regulation, all of those things play into it. But talk to us biologically, like what's going on.

Stephanie Traver (26:01)

Yeah, so there's two main mechanisms that's causing that to happen. And one is that insulin resistance I was talking about. So insulin resistance just means that ⁓ as you eat food for fuel, that glucose comes in and it's ready to go into the cell and do its job. ⁓ And it comes in and the insulin's not quite responsive enough, it's not quite there. And so the...

the glucose is sitting there and if it's sitting there in the bloodstream, it's causing harm. ⁓ And so the body is like, no, we can't have this. We got to do something with it. So let's store it for later. And it stores it for fat and it's convenient that it stores it right there. ⁓ Cause it can be easy, you know, it's like, ⁓ we'll have it when we need it. And then that keeps happening. ⁓ And so you end up. Yeah, exactly. Like, okay, quick. ⁓

Ashley (26:50)

It's like a purse. It's like a purse that you just like can have easy access to. No thanks. Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (26:56)

get rid of that and we'll put it, we'll put it there for later. ⁓

so your body is, is doing that. And so you end up fatigued, but also with some belly fat. ⁓ and it's kind of in and around the organs, that visceral fat that's harder to access when you actually are, you know, burning fat, doing exercise or whatever. So that's tough. And then the other thing that happens is that

particularly in perimenopause, you have points where your estrogen is low and you have points where your estrogen is very high. And both of those states are inflammatory states. ⁓ Estrogen is very anti-inflammatory when it's in this nice little medium space that we live in most of the time. But when it's really high and really low, it's inflammatory. so that keeps our cortisol elevated, you know, as if we are running from a bear or, know, in some kind of

acute state all the time. And so the body is like, okay, we're, we've, we've got to make sure we're ready for whatever terrible thing is happening. And so it just, again, keeps storing, ⁓ storing that for later. So there's, and we're losing muscle, muscle burns calories when we're just resting and we're just existing. So then our calorie burn goes down. There's more to it, but those are the three main

things that really lead to that weight gain and weight gain tends to be around the middle, that sort of like, you know, estrogen weight game. And so for people who are good candidates for hormone therapy, it does tend to be really helpful to, you know, treat that ⁓ during perimenopause so that we get things kind of even in the middle. The estrogen is not dropping super low. It's not spiking super high.

Ashley (28:30)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (28:50)

If their testosterone is low, adding some testosterone so they can build and maintain muscle more efficiently like they were before. The muscle is medicine. ⁓ And that is a big ⁓ piece of that puzzle. And then it gets that insulin sensitivity back on board. So when you eat food, it acts like fuel, you've got energy and it's not storing it as fat anymore. And then you can, you know, do all the, do all the work and it actually feels like,

carrying a rock around something that's hard but not pushing a boulder up a hill, something that's nearly impossible.

Ashley (29:26)

Yeah. Yes.

Yes, exactly. Well, and I think it's so easy to just think, know, oh gosh, when I was like 30 or so, like, I could just cut out a few meals or I could, you know, have a diet coke for lunch and I would like kind of take off the weight easily. hopefully if you're listening, now you understand there's so much going on in our bodies that

just cutting calories or just working out a little more. none of that will ever get you to where you want to be physically. And it's frustrating because I think again, as women, we sort of shame ourselves. Like what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why can't I figure this out? And I know so many of my listeners are high achievers and...

Stephanie Traver (30:13)

Absolutely.

Ashley (30:16)

We're used to taking the DIY route. Like I will figure this shit out on my own. I'm just gonna like muscle my way through. And in this phase of life, I don't think that's possible anymore. You really need the support on board to make sure that we know what's happening. We know what our blood work is. We know what our hormone levels look like. It's a huge picture to learn about and to...

to understand more. you mentioned cortisol and stress and feeling like we're running from a bear. I also think at this stage of life, we have a lot of stress and we internalize a lot of that stress, that invisible load of stuff that we are carrying around every single day, things that need to be taken care of, whether it's career or family or whatever, all of that just compounds. And so it's one of the things that we talk about here at The Family Fork.

all the time is mindset and how pivotal those mindset shifts are to actually changing what our lives look like. that mindset might have everything to do with, okay, I'm going to try another practitioner. That one just wasn't a good fit for me. It's not just mindset being positive, like I can do this or I'll figure this out. It's

Stephanie Traver (31:36)

Yeah,

yeah.

Ashley (31:37)

It's actually

getting through it. So how do you approach mindset in your practice?

Stephanie Traver (31:44)

Well, there's multiple components to it, but one is you cannot heal a body that you hate. you know, one thing is just being able to like look at yourself as if you were talking to your daughter, your friend, like someone that you just love, like you really love and you like have that same level of compassion as much as you can, even if you have to like see yourself as a younger version of yourself or something that just...

Ashley (32:01)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (32:12)

allows yourself to soften and really say like, hey, like you're doing a lot. You're holding a lot and you're doing really great. You know, the fact that you're not holding up against this impossible standard of what we see on Instagram and carrying your career and your family and looking, you know, perfect and doing all of that and just doing it amazingly all the time. Like that's

human and you're doing amazing. like go you not to be condescending or pretty self. It's like this is this is really truly important because like that self love is necessary as like a first step. And then also to say like, hey, you know, if I am going to succeed in this space where I'm asking a lot of myself,

⁓ Can I accept all the tools, a supportive practitioner, friends, know, even, you know, hormones and maybe GLP ones and a trainer and like these things that are going to help me reach the goals that I want without any judgment or shame or like this is my team to help me get where I want to go and ⁓ that's part of it.

Ashley (33:42)

Yeah, I agree. feel like for everyone who's listening, we need to just rewind a minute and a half and listen to that on repeat that being kind to ourselves. It's so easy. It's like a default to say, ⁓ don't know what's wrong with me and I'm just going to move forward or I'm going to figure something out. And what happens is we keep pushing away the things that actually need attention and our body will continue to raise red flags over and over and over and over again until

it's not that it's too late, but it becomes ⁓ a problem that is really difficult to solve or reverse. And I, for all of my 80 plus episodes have been really open about past trauma and past things that I've experienced. And I can say without a doubt that I could work through all of the nutrition, all of the fitness, the strength training, you know,

thyroid medication, all these things that I've needed for the last 10-15 years until I started healing trauma and these feelings of like I'm not doing enough and this chronic stress, I was not able to heal all of the other things that needed healing. And so just as a reminder to all of my listeners, it's so multifaceted and

You can eat all the right things and get the hormone therapy, but the mindset and the way we approach our lives with care and compassion, like Stephanie was saying, that will just do volumes for our health and our healing and allowing us to get through this somewhat challenging phase of life with grace and happiness and really, you know, aging well and loving the lives that we have when we're 70 years old.

Stephanie Traver (35:37)

Yeah, yeah. Well, and I would say, you know, like one of the things that we invest in at vital and like the way that we you and I got connected is that I am a firm believer that community is part of our necessities. And so whether your community is your like two or three like core group of friends, you can really be like raw and authentic with or

It's a larger community that you feel like you're doing meaningful work with, but ⁓ having something that can both hold you ⁓ when you need something to hold you and you can also feel accountable to where you're just like, don't feel like being my best self today. They can be a mirror and be like, no, but you are.

Ashley (36:29)

Yeah.

Stephanie Traver (36:34)

You are amazing, you're incredible, and you're so capable of this. So, like, we've got you and, let's go.

Ashley (36:41)

Yeah,

yeah, no, I love that. agree. I think this is one of my absolute pride and joys of being able to do this podcast is because I want women to feel like we are in this together. We are in the struggles, in the joys. And when you don't have anything to give, you should be in community with women who can give back to you. And then when you feel like you have something to give, then you know that you can give that right back. And it's just, it's such a beautiful reciprocal relationship.

⁓ Talk to us a little bit more. Like we could go on. There's so many other, I have like questions popping in my head. I'm like, but what about this? What about that? I think we'll have to have you back because I'm sure that we'll get a bunch of questions. You had mentioned GLP-1s. I think there's other things around estrogen therapy that for women who are not candidates, but still can have some options.

Stephanie Traver (37:14)

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. ⁓

Ashley (37:32)

So I think we'll have you back. But tell us a little bit about where people can find you. And especially for women who are in Colorado, Stephanie runs these incredible high class, like these amazing events. So tell us a little bit more about your practice and where listeners can find you.

Stephanie Traver (37:50)

Yeah. So my practice is in Erie, Colorado. So if you want to come see me in person, then you can do all the things. You can work out with my trainer. You can come to my, ⁓ we have monthly events up here and then, ⁓ you can come see me in my office behind me, ⁓ for hormone therapy and, and, ⁓ all the things. ⁓ but I also treat women across Colorado, ⁓ via telehealth and, my website is, ⁓ vital.

And I do larger events a couple times a year for the larger Denver community. ⁓ Just again, to try and get the word out about the resources that we do have and just create a connected space where we can kind of say like, hey, you know,

It may feel like you're in this alone, but you are not in this alone. Other people are experiencing exactly what you're experiencing. And ⁓ you've got options, you've got resources, you're empowered to make these decisions. You don't have, you know, some smart doctor, you know, wagging their finger at you telling what you can and cannot do. ⁓ You totally know what's best for your body.

and we can work together to tell you, here's some really safe options, here's some really great options that would work for you based on what you're telling me. What do you think? let's kind of navigate this together.

Ashley (39:22)

Amazing. Yeah, I really do encourage

women who are in Colorado or nearby. We'll link to all of Stephanie's information down in the show notes, but check out her site. Watch for those events. Really, really fascinating. They're fun. They're exciting. There's always good food. So super, super fun. So thank you very much. I know that this was incredibly valuable to all of our listeners and thanks for being.

Stephanie Traver (39:40)

Yeah.

Ashley (39:51)

with us and for the rest of my listener, I am excited to hear your questions and hear what you thought of this episode and we will see you next episode right here on the Family Four.