Hello, my friend, and welcome back to The Family Fork. We are here for the fourth and final episode in our Spring Into Summer series, and I'm so glad you're here with me today, because this episode brings it all together!
Now, I know how you're feeling right now...it feels like you've been here a million times before.
You've lost a few pounds. You're feeling good. You're feeling positive. You're making progress. And then something happens.
Something gets in the way. There's a challenge in life. Your schedule changes at work. One of your kids needs more support in school for the semester. You go on vacation. You get sick. Your routine gets thrown off.
And suddenly, all that progress you made? It starts to slip away.
Getting results is one thing. But being able to keep them and maintain those results is really challenging. And it's the area where most women end up blaming themselves when the wheels start to fall off.
If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.
Let's take a quick look back at what we've covered in this series so far.
In the first episode, we talked about mindset and why trying harder isn't working. We talked about how your thoughts are producing your results, and how shifting the way you think is the foundation for everything else.
In the second episode, we talked about anti-inflammatory nutrition. We covered why it's not enough to just eat healthy in midlife, and how understanding inflammation can help you have more energy, better sleep, and finally see the scale move.
In the third episode, we talked about fitness. Specifically, why more cardio is actually making it harder to lose weight, and why lifting heavy weights is the real secret to changing your body in midlife.
Today, we're going to talk about maintaining the habits that you've built and the progress that you've made. This is the piece that ties everything together.
Believe me, I get it.
I've had a lot of challenges in the last five or six years that have made me want to throw up my hands and just quit! But the fact that I have a solid mindset and I have a clear strategy for how I eat and how I move my body — those things in combination have allowed me to maintain my results regardless of what comes my way.
And that's what I want for you.
Now, having a plan is really essential. A plan for your meals. A plan for your snacks. Scheduling time for fitness. Those things matter.
But here's what I've learned. The plan is a really great thing, but your identity is how your plan actually comes together.
You have to see yourself as somebody who maintains a fitness routine and healthy anti-inflammatory nutrition no matter where you are or no matter what's going on in your life.
If you see yourself as the woman who "will never lose weight" or who is "too old or too far gone to make any changes", THAT is who you'll continue to be.
It all revolves around identity, which is what we talked about in the first episode of this series.
It's not about having willpower. It's not about motivation. Because motivation is just a feeling. It will come and go. Some days you'll feel motivated. Some days you won't feel motivated at all. That's normal.
Consistency is the behavior that you're looking for. And consistency comes from identity, not from motivation.
So many plans that you've tried before give you the plan, the roadmap, but they never give you what it takes to actually build for the long term. They never help you change your identity. They never help you change the way that you think.
And here's the other thing. We love to build our goals and our aspirations in perfect conditions. When you have enough time. When you have control over your schedule. When you don't have any distractions. When you don't have any challenges in life.
But life is not perfect. It doesn't have perfect conditions. It never will.
The key to maintaining your results once you get everything established in your life is creating an identity around who you are and who you want to continue to be.
In building your identity, it's important to have a couple of non-negotiables.
Let me give you an example from my own life.
For me, I will never eat gluten. Ever. I know how it makes me feel. It makes me feel inflamed and bloated, and it makes my brain really foggy. I just will never eat gluten. That is a non-negotiable for me. It's not even a question anymore. It's just who I am.
Occasionally, though, I can be flexible. I might have dairy. I hardly ever eat dairy, but if I'm on vacation and we have an opportunity to have a piece of cheesecake, I will definitely take a few bites of the cheesecake without the crust. That I know I can be flexible with.
And this doesn't just apply to nutrition.
Another non-negotiable for me is that I will always get some form of movement in, even if it's just a 10-minute walk. Even on my busiest days, even when I'm traveling, even when my schedule is completely thrown off. Some movement is non-negotiable. It might not be a full 45-minute weightlifting session, but I will move my body in some way every single day.
But I can be flexible about what time of day I work out. I prefer mornings, but if something comes up and I have to move my workout to the afternoon or evening, that's fine. The timing is flexible. The movement itself is not.
Another non-negotiable for me is sleep. I prioritize getting seven to eight hours of sleep every night. I protect my bedtime. I don't stay up late scrolling on my phone or watching one more episode of a show (I'll be honest...I DO watch one more show before bed, right now my favorite is Gray's Anatomy, but I make sure to turn out the lights on time!). Sleep is foundational for everything else — my energy, my mood, my ability to make good choices the next day. That's non-negotiable.
But I can be flexible about what time I go to bed. If I'm at a dinner party and we're having a great time, I might stay out a little later than usual. I'll adjust my morning accordingly. The flexibility is in the timing, not in whether I get the sleep.
Think about what your non-negotiables might be. What are the things that you know make the biggest difference for how you feel? Those become your anchors. And then think about where you can allow yourself some flexibility without completely derailing your progress.
This is why it's really important to understand what your identity is and the kind of woman that you want to be or that you're striving to be.
Because if you can constantly tap into that, it will allow you to make different choices.
Whether you're on vacation. Or you've had a long day at work and you have to pick up takeout in the Chick-fil-A line. You're going to make a different choice if you're basing your choices on your identity as someone who is strong and healthy and confident in making choices for her own health and wellness.
Now, here's something I want you to understand.
It's inevitable that you will fall off track.
This is life. Things will happen. And it doesn't mean that you aren't capable of maintaining these new habits that you're building for yourself. It just means that you need to think differently about what happens when you do get off track.
It's so important not to shame yourself or put yourself down for falling off track. Because it's going to happen. And it just means that you are human.
The trick is remembering that you don't need to completely start over a week from now.
Oftentimes, my students will say, "Well, I messed up on Tuesday, so I'll just do whatever until next Monday and I'll start fresh then."
That is not necessary.
You literally can start over two minutes later.
When you make a choice at a restaurant and you end up having a couple of cocktails and a dessert and some inflammatory ingredients in your dinner, you can go home, drink some water, and decide that you're going to get back on track that very second.
And it doesn't involve shaming yourself or putting yourself down. It just means that you need to go back and remind yourself: What is my new identity? Who is the woman that I want to be today? And did those choices help me to maintain that identity?
If not, that's okay. You make a different choice next time. Starting right now.
For me personally, this has been absolutely foundational in building habits that have stuck around.
If you've been listening to the podcast for a little while, you may know that I lost 65 pounds in my late 40s. I didn't get started until I was about 46 years old.
And I have been able to keep that weight off and to continue to improve my health and my wellness even though I moved my house, had COVID, a hysterectomy, breast cancer, and just in day-to-day living, my life has been anything but perfect conditions.
I didn't let those moments derail me.
I went into all of those moments reminding myself that I am strong and confident and capable. I am the woman who is healthy and prioritizes her own health and wellness above anything else.
In changing my identity, it allowed me to get through all of those challenging situations in life and maintain the habits of working out regularly, lifting heavy weights, eating anti-inflammatory nutrition. I've been able to keep all of that going even though life has thrown me a lot of challenges.
So here's what I want you to do.
One of the most impactful things that you can do for yourself is to write down who you want to be this summer and keep returning to that statement every single day.
Maybe you write down, "I am the woman who wakes up with energy and has enough energy to last the entire day."
Or you could write down, "I am the woman who is learning how to set good boundaries so that I can always get the food and the movement that my body needs in midlife."
Or maybe you get really bold and you write your identity statement as, "I am a woman who prioritizes her health and wellness before taking care of others."
That is an incredible gift that you can give yourself in midlife. Because it allows you to have more energy for other people because you are taking care of yourself first and foremost.
So when life goes off the rails or something challenging gets in your way, don't tell yourself that you're just going to quit and start again next week, or next month, or at the beginning of next year.
No.
Return to your identity statement and remind yourself who it is that you want to be this summer.
And hopefully, the woman that you want to be this summer is the same woman that you want to be ten years from now.
So you know you can always return to that identity statement to reset yourself and to get back on track with the habits that you know are going to serve you best: the anti-inflammatory nutrition, moving your body, and thinking the right way around your health and wellness journey.
Now, if you've been listening to this series and you've been thinking, "Oh my gosh, this is so great, Ashley. I wish I could find all of this in one place," I actually have great news for you.
You can.
This series was based off of the same framework that I teach in The Perimenopause Weight Loss Method. So that would actually be a great next step for you.
It's an 8-week intensive program designed to support you in losing weight in perimenopause and in changing your relationship to how you think about your health and wellness journey for the long term.
The best way to find out if this is a good fit for you is to schedule a call with me. I will drop the link in the show notes where you can go ahead and book your free consultation call.
There is no obligation.
But if you're feeling like you've tried a lot of programs and nothing has really stuck around for you, and you really want this summer to be the summer where you feel amazing, you have energy, and you're proud and confident no matter what you're doing — whether it's the neighborhood barbecue or going on vacation or just going to work every day — this is the summer where you can have all of that for yourself.
So if you'd like to learn more and see if this is the right fit for you, go ahead and book a free call and let's chat.
Again, no obligation. But let's see if this is the thing that can get you over that frustration of feeling stuck and like nothing ever works for you.
Because I promise you, you just haven't tried the right approach yet.
I hope you have enjoyed this series as much as I enjoyed putting it together.
I know that it takes a holistic approach to improve your health and wellness in midlife. But I also know that there's an easy, straightforward, actionable way to do that.
Hopefully you've picked up some great tips throughout the last few episodes. And I hope that you're feeling excited about this summer and all the possibilities that are ahead of you.
Thank you so much for spending this time with me, my friend. I'll see you right back here next week on The Family Fork.
