Episode 40 - The Millennials - Craig Salazar - The Steph and Craig Show

In this episode we welcome Craig Salazar, the Producer and Co-Host of “The Steph & Craig Show” podcast.  Being a Xennial/elder Millennial, Craig shares how his childhood closely resembled a typical GenX childhood.  Growing up in the town of Grantsville, Utah, which is situated in a valley surrounded by beautiful mountains, Craig spent his formative years playing baseball and riding his bike with friends all over town.  He touches on how the lack of emotional development that is common for many GenX and elder Millennial boys was dealt with through physical altercations with his older brothers as well as friends at school.  His parents divorce resulted in sporadic involvement from his dad in his life, which just added to the disconnect he had already been feeling from his father.  After graduating high school, Craig spontaneously headed to Minnesota to have a whirlwind romance, or two, before ultimately returning home a few months later.  A move to Salt Lake City led to meeting his first wife, the adoption of his first daughter and the birth of his second daughter.  Craig reflects on the joys he experienced while being a stay-at-home dad for several years, while continuing to hustle with part-time jobs to help support his family.  After moving the family back to Grantsville, Craig eventually became a corrections officer and ultimately a police officer.  His insight into both experiences is riveting, as is the story of why he was fired.  After the divorce from his first wife, Craig married his current wife Stephanie and they became a family of six, with Craig becoming a father to his third daughter and son.  Life after leaving law enforcement resulted in a spiritual awakening that led Craig to ThetaHealing as well as the “Energy is Love” podcast, where he would host various guests from the spiritual and healing world, in addition to sometimes co-hosting with Stephanie.  A pivotal moment in Craig’s life was discovering the Evryman men’s organization, followed by a year of intensive therapy using MDMA that both he and Stephanie participated and flourished in.  Craig shares how the therapy, in addition to microdosing psilocybin, opened the door for the couple to live their most authentic life.  A move to Tennessee followed, where the couple built the studio for their current project, “The Steph & Craig Show” podcast, which is a culmination of their life’s journey, work and healing that was created to connect, resonate and help people feel understood.  We also touch on the importance of a woman’s partner putting in the effort to educate themselves about perimenopause in order to be a truly supportive partner.  We loved going on the ride of Craig’s story, and look forward to becoming regular listeners of “The Steph & Craig Show” to continue to learn and be inspired!

Visit Craig at:
https://www.stephandcraig.co/
https://www.tiktok.com/@stephandcraig
https://www.instagram.com/steph.and.craig/
https://www.youtube.com/@stephandcraig/?sub_confirmation=1
https://www.facebook.com/stephandcraig

Us:
https://linktr.ee/genxadulting
https://www.tiktok.com/@genxadulting
https://www.instagram.com/genx.adulting/
https://www.youtube.com/@genxadulting

Check us out at genxadulting.com

#generationx #genx #podcast #marriage #relationship #interview #mom #family

Transcript

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:01.688 --> 00:00:09.545
Welcome to GenX Adulting and today we have Craig Salazar with us, the producer and co-host of the Steph and Craig show.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:09.545 --> 00:00:10.796
Welcome, Craig.

Craig Salazar
00:00:11.169 --> 00:00:12.619
Hey guys, welcome.

Craig Salazar
00:00:12.619 --> 00:00:14.446
I don't know why I said welcome.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:14.446 --> 00:00:14.876
Hello.

Craig Salazar
00:00:14.876 --> 00:00:17.559
uh a podcast host, so it's a habit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:17.559 --> 00:00:18.800
It's habit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:18.941 --> 00:00:20.362
We're thrilled to have you here.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:20.362 --> 00:00:24.206
And the first question we always ask is what year were you born?

Craig Salazar
00:00:25.143 --> 00:00:28.163
I was born in 1981 and it was so funny.

Craig Salazar
00:00:28.163 --> 00:00:35.783
It was so funny that you text me right before today because that was the thing that I had been thinking about all of this week where it was like, damn it.

Craig Salazar
00:00:35.783 --> 00:00:42.083
I because I know that I've seen like the whole when we come into the space of like Gen X millennial and the whole nine yards, right?

Craig Salazar
00:00:42.083 --> 00:00:47.763
There's always like a slight opinion based off of is it these years or is it these years?

Craig Salazar
00:00:47.763 --> 00:00:48.703
When does it really start?

Craig Salazar
00:00:48.703 --> 00:00:49.863
When does it really end?

Craig Salazar
00:00:49.863 --> 00:00:52.123
So I got super in my head about it.

Craig Salazar
00:00:52.163 --> 00:00:54.391
And when you text me today, I was like, shit.

Craig Salazar
00:00:54.391 --> 00:00:57.845
They're going to tell me I can't come out the podcast because I'm a millennial.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:58.063 --> 00:00:59.695
we're a generational podcast.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:00:59.695 --> 00:01:03.708
So we've had Gen Z, Millennial, Gen X and Boomers on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:01:03.708 --> 00:01:05.029
So it doesn't matter.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:01:05.029 --> 00:01:07.100
And you're actually a Zenial.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:01:07.100 --> 00:01:15.216
you're the crossover, but you guys kind of bridge the Gen X world and the Millennial world.

Craig Salazar
00:01:16.043 --> 00:01:27.733
Yeah, I feel like this is the way that I was thinking about it, where it was like, I feel like I'm the younger brother of the Gen X generation, and I'm the oldest brother of the

Craig Salazar
00:01:27.733 --> 00:01:28.314
Millennials.

Craig Salazar
00:01:28.314 --> 00:01:31.777
Like, I've got so much wisdom for Millennials.

Craig Salazar
00:01:31.937 --> 00:01:42.547
And then I'm stuck in this place of like, there's a part of me that is learning from Gen X, but then also kind of like, fuck you guys, because they feel like older brother energy

Craig Salazar
00:01:42.547 --> 00:01:43.337
to me.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:01:43.694 --> 00:01:47.494
100 % because I Xennials you're an elder millennial.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:01:47.494 --> 00:01:52.814
You're the eldest millennial because Gen X I guess officially stops at 1980 and you're 1981.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:01:53.314 --> 00:02:05.494
But I know that siblings that were born in 80 81 82 83 they grew up with Gen X older siblings and so a lot of them feel like their childhood was a Gen X childhood because they

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:02:05.494 --> 00:02:09.566
were doing they were going off with their older siblings and doing all the things.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:02:09.566 --> 00:02:11.829
And you just described it perfectly.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:02:11.829 --> 00:02:16.375
You guys are the younger siblings of Gen X, but you're the older siblings of the millennials.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:02:16.375 --> 00:02:22.854
And so, you know, sometimes you jive with Gen X and sometimes you're like, no, you know, I'm with the millennials.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:02:22.854 --> 00:02:26.088
So now would you say your childhood?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:02:26.088 --> 00:02:27.990
Well, first, where were you born?

Craig Salazar
00:02:28.481 --> 00:02:33.272
I was born in Tooele, Utah, which is it's out west.

Craig Salazar
00:02:33.272 --> 00:02:37.574
So if you're familiar with Utah and where Salt Lake City is, it's just out west.

Craig Salazar
00:02:37.574 --> 00:02:40.934
It's on the other side of the mountain range from Salt Lake City.

Craig Salazar
00:02:40.934 --> 00:02:43.675
So we were about 45 minutes outside of Salt Lake.

Craig Salazar
00:02:43.675 --> 00:02:49.957
I was born in Tooele, which was the biggest uh city on that side of the mountain.

Craig Salazar
00:02:50.117 --> 00:02:54.548
But I actually grew up in Grantsville, which is a smaller town just outside of Tooele.

Craig Salazar
00:02:54.548 --> 00:02:56.359
So it was a real small town.

Craig Salazar
00:02:56.359 --> 00:02:57.269
I think.

Craig Salazar
00:02:57.269 --> 00:02:59.293
I mean, I don't even know what the population was growing up.

Craig Salazar
00:02:59.293 --> 00:03:00.866
It was under 10,000.

Craig Salazar
00:03:00.866 --> 00:03:03.991
I had just over like 100 kids in my graduating class.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:03.991 --> 00:03:06.127
oh

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:06.127 --> 00:03:07.540
your parents from there?

Craig Salazar
00:03:08.021 --> 00:03:10.483
My mom was, that was where my mom was born and raised.

Craig Salazar
00:03:10.483 --> 00:03:12.375
My dad's from California.

Craig Salazar
00:03:12.375 --> 00:03:16.337
So he was, what's that?

Craig Salazar
00:03:17.519 --> 00:03:20.121
Yeah, he was in the Air Force.

Craig Salazar
00:03:20.121 --> 00:03:24.784
And so my mom worked at essentially like a truck stop diner.

Craig Salazar
00:03:24.785 --> 00:03:30.069
And um he worked at this military base that was out in the West Desert of Utah.

Craig Salazar
00:03:30.089 --> 00:03:32.521
And um they just happened to meet there.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:32.750 --> 00:03:34.452
It's like a movie almost.

Craig Salazar
00:03:34.857 --> 00:03:38.326
It was definitely, I could see it through the lens of a movie for sure.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:38.326 --> 00:03:39.266
Yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:39.266 --> 00:03:40.329
Beautiful out there.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:40.329 --> 00:03:42.892
Yeah, it's absolutely you grew up in God's country.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:42.892 --> 00:03:43.653
There's no question.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:03:43.653 --> 00:03:44.959
It's gorgeous out there.

Craig Salazar
00:03:44.959 --> 00:03:46.660
Yeah, Utah is really, really beautiful.

Craig Salazar
00:03:46.660 --> 00:03:47.761
That's one thing.

Craig Salazar
00:03:47.761 --> 00:03:54.704
When we moved to Tennessee, which was just a couple of years back, we've been in Tennessee now for almost three years.

Craig Salazar
00:03:54.865 --> 00:04:01.548
we that's one of I mean, on top of our kids, right, we still have grown all of our adult daughters are in Utah.

Craig Salazar
00:04:01.568 --> 00:04:04.610
And obviously, we miss them first and foremost.

Craig Salazar
00:04:04.610 --> 00:04:08.332
But I think a close second is just how beautiful it was.

Craig Salazar
00:04:08.632 --> 00:04:14.045
And that was something that, uh you know, after you're away for a long time, you really come to appreciate it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:14.060 --> 00:04:15.290
Yeah, I can understand that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:15.290 --> 00:04:19.772
I'm from Oregon and I didn't realize how beautiful the Pacific Northwest was.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:19.772 --> 00:04:21.692
I really didn't until I left.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:21.692 --> 00:04:25.213
And then I was like, I grew up in a really beautiful part of the country.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:25.213 --> 00:04:29.275
I also didn't realize how gray it was where I grew up until I left.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:29.275 --> 00:04:35.357
And so I think the challenge for me is I don't think I could go back to the grayness again once you get out of that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:35.357 --> 00:04:36.737
But Utah is not like that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:04:36.737 --> 00:04:38.457
You're not gray like.

Craig Salazar
00:04:38.571 --> 00:04:40.552
Yeah, no, it's hot and dry.

Craig Salazar
00:04:40.552 --> 00:04:42.473
It's very much a desert state.

Craig Salazar
00:04:42.473 --> 00:04:51.058
um Even though we have tons of snow in the winter and we've got beautiful mountains and everything like that, but the vast majority of the state's a desert.

Craig Salazar
00:04:51.098 --> 00:04:53.379
And so it's real dry and arid.

Craig Salazar
00:04:53.379 --> 00:04:58.872
So we don't get a ton of rain, but I mean, amazing sunsets, beautiful mountains.

Craig Salazar
00:04:58.872 --> 00:05:00.663
Do know what I mean?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:05:00.846 --> 00:05:04.349
Do you know why they decided to stay there and not go back to California?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:05:04.349 --> 00:05:06.785
Where your dad's from?

Craig Salazar
00:05:07.027 --> 00:05:17.936
I think what happened, because when they got, when they met, immediately after getting married, they, because he was in the Air Force and he got deployed to the Philippines.

Craig Salazar
00:05:17.936 --> 00:05:19.827
It was right at the end of the Vietnam War.

Craig Salazar
00:05:19.827 --> 00:05:25.442
And so they were in the Philippines for two years right after they got married.

Craig Salazar
00:05:25.582 --> 00:05:29.225
And my oldest brother, so I've got two older brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:05:29.706 --> 00:05:36.673
My oldest brother was born in 76 and then the middle brother was 78 and then I was an 81.

Craig Salazar
00:05:36.673 --> 00:05:39.844
So my oldest brother was actually conceived in the Philippines.

Craig Salazar
00:05:39.844 --> 00:05:43.906
And I don't actually know why they chose to come back to Grantsville.

Craig Salazar
00:05:43.906 --> 00:05:48.288
Actually, it was probably because my dad got stationed at that same military base.

Craig Salazar
00:05:48.288 --> 00:05:48.958
That's what it was.

Craig Salazar
00:05:48.958 --> 00:05:52.140
Because that was as soon as you asked the question, I'm like, I don't actually know why.

Craig Salazar
00:05:52.140 --> 00:05:53.790
Because that was a big question growing up.

Craig Salazar
00:05:53.790 --> 00:05:55.411
I'm like, why the hell are we here?

Craig Salazar
00:05:55.411 --> 00:05:58.422
We would go to California all the time for holidays.

Craig Salazar
00:05:58.422 --> 00:05:59.603
My dad's family's there.

Craig Salazar
00:05:59.603 --> 00:06:02.134
So I've got aunts and uncles in California.

Craig Salazar
00:06:02.774 --> 00:06:05.075
growing up, we went there all the time.

Craig Salazar
00:06:05.295 --> 00:06:08.760
And it was always just like, are we doing?

Craig Salazar
00:06:08.760 --> 00:06:11.133
this is why we don't understand why.

Craig Salazar
00:06:11.133 --> 00:06:15.399
Because we would go to California and it was like, my gosh, this is the life.

Craig Salazar
00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:17.182
This is where we need to be living.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:06:17.182 --> 00:06:18.846
What part of California?

Craig Salazar
00:06:19.071 --> 00:06:20.282
It was Southern California.

Craig Salazar
00:06:20.282 --> 00:06:22.774
So he was born and raised in Carson.

Craig Salazar
00:06:22.914 --> 00:06:29.529
And uh a lot of our family is still down in like Torrance, but my grandparents lived up in Central Coast.

Craig Salazar
00:06:29.529 --> 00:06:36.985
So up in this town called Napomo, which is kind of in between Santa Maria, California and Pismo Beach.

Craig Salazar
00:06:37.025 --> 00:06:39.267
That's a really, really beautiful area of California.

Craig Salazar
00:06:39.267 --> 00:06:44.531
So that was where we spent the majority of our childhood when we would go out there.

Craig Salazar
00:06:44.533 --> 00:06:47.634
was up there in Napoma in that area of California.

Craig Salazar
00:06:47.634 --> 00:06:55.447
But we would come and go and you'd go to Los Angeles to see aunts and uncles and go to Disneyland and then you drive up the coast to see grandparents.

Craig Salazar
00:06:55.447 --> 00:06:57.868
And we've done that trip.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:06:57.868 --> 00:07:00.849
Yeah, yeah, we've done that trip a ton with our kids too.

Craig Salazar
00:07:00.849 --> 00:07:07.062
Essentially just that same thing going and spending as much time as we can in California wondering why the hell did we settle in Utah?

Craig Salazar
00:07:07.062 --> 00:07:09.896
Would you drive from Utah to California?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:07:11.063 --> 00:07:12.068
That's a nice drive.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:07:12.068 --> 00:07:12.388
did that.

Craig Salazar
00:07:12.388 --> 00:07:19.372
mean, that's how I grew up going to California uh was in a Volkswagen bug and not a bug, a big VW van.

Craig Salazar
00:07:19.572 --> 00:07:27.286
And uh we basically, you know, I recreated my childhood, except it was a red Dodge caravan.

Craig Salazar
00:07:27.286 --> 00:07:32.382
So we had a minivan that we would cram all of our kids in and drive to California back and forth.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:07:32.382 --> 00:07:33.375
That is very cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:07:33.375 --> 00:07:36.694
Do you know what year the bus was that your parents had?

Craig Salazar
00:07:37.301 --> 00:07:43.502
my gosh, I want to say it was in the 70s, like late 70s, I feel like.

Craig Salazar
00:07:44.906 --> 00:07:47.139
No, it wasn't the, it wasn't the camper.

Craig Salazar
00:07:47.139 --> 00:07:48.271
was, um.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:07:48.366 --> 00:07:50.899
transport are probably with the multiple rows.

Craig Salazar
00:07:50.901 --> 00:07:51.741
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:07:51.741 --> 00:07:59.236
We had the seats that we could remove and take out, but it was like not the easy, you know, it was a pain in the butt, but you could remove them.

Craig Salazar
00:07:59.236 --> 00:08:04.379
um But it was two bench seats and then the two front seats.

Craig Salazar
00:08:04.379 --> 00:08:05.859
It was a stick shift.

Craig Salazar
00:08:05.859 --> 00:08:12.373
Like I remember growing up, you know, driving and getting to shift into third gear and getting to shift into fourth gear.

Craig Salazar
00:08:12.373 --> 00:08:20.297
And that was a lot of how I learned how to drive was sitting in the passenger seat, learning how to win to shift and listening to the engine.

Craig Salazar
00:08:20.331 --> 00:08:25.900
So when it came time to actually get behind the wheel and start driving, it was super easy for me.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:25.900 --> 00:08:27.394
What color was it?

Craig Salazar
00:08:28.703 --> 00:08:29.193
Okay.

Craig Salazar
00:08:29.193 --> 00:08:31.664
was white and it had a, they called it Big Bug.

Craig Salazar
00:08:31.664 --> 00:08:33.870
So the license plate was Big Bug.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:33.870 --> 00:08:34.890
That's very cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:34.890 --> 00:08:36.330
You were about to tell.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:36.330 --> 00:08:42.409
Well, we actually have a 1976 camper van VW, the pop top one.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:42.850 --> 00:08:43.890
It's cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:43.890 --> 00:08:45.570
Yeah, it's in our garage.

Craig Salazar
00:08:45.570 --> 00:08:46.230
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:46.230 --> 00:08:48.950
Currently have the motor out, but yeah, we'll get it back.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:48.950 --> 00:08:53.850
The one thing about owning a Volkswagen is you learn how to work on a Volkswagen.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:54.270 --> 00:08:56.430
You need to become a mechanic.

Craig Salazar
00:08:56.570 --> 00:08:57.050
100%.

Craig Salazar
00:08:57.050 --> 00:08:57.600
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:08:57.600 --> 00:09:01.315
So you have two siblings and that explains why you prob they're older than you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:09:01.315 --> 00:09:05.080
Why you probably experienced a lot of a Gen X childhood.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:09:05.181 --> 00:09:14.534
So did you do a lot of the stuff the Gen Xers talk about drinking out of the garden hose and leaving in the morning and not having to come back till the lights came on and all

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:09:14.534 --> 00:09:14.857
that.

Craig Salazar
00:09:14.857 --> 00:09:24.182
was, I think a big chunk of, one of the things that I like, we're joking about, you know, why didn't we move to California?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:09:24.182 --> 00:09:26.113
Which you would have moved to California.

Craig Salazar
00:09:26.113 --> 00:09:33.697
But one of the things that was really, really wonderful about growing up in that small town was it basically was just my backyard.

Craig Salazar
00:09:34.018 --> 00:09:41.101
And so we were all over town all the time, especially like that sweet spot between like middle school and high school.

Craig Salazar
00:09:41.101 --> 00:09:44.693
I mean, we're out riding bikes nonstop all day long.

Craig Salazar
00:09:44.791 --> 00:09:46.331
Um, do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
00:09:46.331 --> 00:09:50.351
Leaving the house in the morning and all of my friends lived all over town.

Craig Salazar
00:09:50.351 --> 00:09:56.531
And so that's how we had to get to wherever we wanted to go because our parents weren't home to give us rides to our friend's house.

Craig Salazar
00:09:56.531 --> 00:10:05.931
So it was like, I had to wake up and I, some of my best friends lived all the way on the other side of town, which I mean, in a car, it's a five minute drive, right?

Craig Salazar
00:10:05.931 --> 00:10:09.671
But me on my old mountain bike, I'm like, I had to pack water.

Craig Salazar
00:10:09.671 --> 00:10:10.951
had to make sure I was prepared.

Craig Salazar
00:10:10.951 --> 00:10:13.984
It was going to be this journey to get to the other side of town.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:10:13.984 --> 00:10:17.080
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:10:17.644 --> 00:10:19.167
Were you at least in a valley?

Craig Salazar
00:10:19.167 --> 00:10:22.153
So it's kind of flat, maybe a little bit of a slope,

Craig Salazar
00:10:22.367 --> 00:10:23.297
Yeah, no, very much.

Craig Salazar
00:10:23.297 --> 00:10:23.818
Yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:10:23.818 --> 00:10:27.791
was, uh, Grantsville is positioned between two big mountain ranges.

Craig Salazar
00:10:27.791 --> 00:10:31.754
And so it's the Ochre mountain ranges, which are the ones that are on the Salt Lake side.

Craig Salazar
00:10:31.754 --> 00:10:35.777
And then the Stansberry mountains, which are on the west side of the valley.

Craig Salazar
00:10:35.777 --> 00:10:41.161
And Grantsville is kind of up against the Stansberries and Tualas up against the Ochres.

Craig Salazar
00:10:41.161 --> 00:10:45.904
So it's a nice little flat valley there surrounded by these beautiful mountains.

Craig Salazar
00:10:45.904 --> 00:10:48.506
And we spent tons of time up in the mountains.

Craig Salazar
00:10:48.506 --> 00:10:50.197
Um, just.

Craig Salazar
00:10:50.197 --> 00:10:53.538
you know, doing all the wonderful things that you do as a kid up in the mountains.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:10:53.538 --> 00:10:57.082
Did you guys get snow then there in the valley in the winter?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:10:57.378 --> 00:10:59.566
So it's probably like a Hallmark movie.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:10:59.566 --> 00:11:00.887
I picture a Hallmark movie.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:11:00.887 --> 00:11:01.891
You're tout.

Craig Salazar
00:11:01.891 --> 00:11:07.673
There's really this is the funny thing too, is it's like there's so many different versions of my childhood, right?

Craig Salazar
00:11:07.673 --> 00:11:10.644
I can totally see it through the lens of the Hallmark movie.

Craig Salazar
00:11:10.644 --> 00:11:21.247
Like there was even a uh like a candy stop kind of ice cream parlor old building called the Bluebird on Main Street right across from the elementary school that we would go to.

Craig Salazar
00:11:21.247 --> 00:11:23.908
And like that's where you could get penny candy.

Craig Salazar
00:11:23.908 --> 00:11:28.879
And like it used to be a real thriving kind of like um

Craig Salazar
00:11:28.929 --> 00:11:33.874
Friday night hangout place where you'd stop and get ice cream and soda shop kind of vibe.

Craig Salazar
00:11:33.874 --> 00:11:36.186
But that was like back in the day.

Craig Salazar
00:11:36.247 --> 00:11:41.952
And now it was like a rundown kind of cool still place where you'd go and find the weirdest things, you know.

Craig Salazar
00:11:42.219 --> 00:11:44.535
We had a lot of places like that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:11:44.686 --> 00:11:52.206
So how lucky for your mom, I guess, that your dad got stationed there because then she could stay near her family.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:11:52.246 --> 00:11:56.102
Did that just happen or did they request that, do you think?

Craig Salazar
00:11:56.415 --> 00:11:57.575
I think it just happened.

Craig Salazar
00:11:57.575 --> 00:12:02.197
don't think that it was, I mean, they could have, I don't know for sure.

Craig Salazar
00:12:02.197 --> 00:12:11.531
But my thought was he got stationed there and then got deployed to Philippines and then came back to where he was stationed.

Craig Salazar
00:12:11.531 --> 00:12:14.742
And that's where he worked his entire career.

Craig Salazar
00:12:14.783 --> 00:12:19.895
So he worked at that same military base my whole entire life.

Craig Salazar
00:12:19.895 --> 00:12:23.746
spent, think he retired after like 35 years or something.

Craig Salazar
00:12:23.906 --> 00:12:25.781
And it was kind of a weird

Craig Salazar
00:12:25.781 --> 00:12:31.733
dynamic too, because it was it was about 45 minutes an hour outside of town.

Craig Salazar
00:12:31.974 --> 00:12:42.137
Just like as soon as you start heading further west from Grantsville on I-80, eventually you get to Nevada and in between Grantsville and Nevada, there's nothing that's where the

Craig Salazar
00:12:42.137 --> 00:12:44.519
uh Bonneville salt flats are.

Craig Salazar
00:12:44.519 --> 00:12:50.241
So all of the stuff that happens out there, I mean, it's it's just right outside of Grantsville.

Craig Salazar
00:12:50.241 --> 00:12:53.553
And but that military base that he worked at was out in the middle of nowhere.

Craig Salazar
00:12:53.553 --> 00:12:54.199
So

Craig Salazar
00:12:54.199 --> 00:13:02.119
he would be stationed there and stationed isn't the right word, but his shift would be like three days on and three days off.

Craig Salazar
00:13:02.119 --> 00:13:07.239
And so he would be gone for three or four days, come home for a few days and then go back to work.

Craig Salazar
00:13:07.239 --> 00:13:13.019
So it was very much this bizarre way of living where he wasn't home for half of the week.

Craig Salazar
00:13:13.019 --> 00:13:16.099
And then when he was home, do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
00:13:16.099 --> 00:13:21.038
was just very, we lived completely different lives when he was at work versus when he was home.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:21.038 --> 00:13:26.258
It's probably very similar to when one of the spouses travels.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:26.338 --> 00:13:36.878
So there's a life of, you know, where it's one way when they're gone and then when they come back, it's almost like the parent who's back is a novelty a little bit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:36.878 --> 00:13:38.598
It's like, well, dad's here.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:38.598 --> 00:13:43.338
So, you know, we're going to everything's a little bit extra different or special or his way.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:43.338 --> 00:13:46.990
But, you know, then when he leaves again, you know, your mom could be like, OK.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:46.990 --> 00:13:48.170
We're going to have cereal for dinner.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:48.170 --> 00:13:48.870
Don't worry.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:48.870 --> 00:13:51.250
You know, it's like maybe even a little, I don't know.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:51.250 --> 00:13:52.630
don't know if that's how it was.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:13:52.630 --> 00:13:54.837
less structured or maybe, I don't know.

Craig Salazar
00:13:54.837 --> 00:13:56.548
so funny that you mentioned all of that.

Craig Salazar
00:13:56.548 --> 00:13:58.389
That's exactly how it was.

Craig Salazar
00:13:58.389 --> 00:14:04.333
we, like I could never have my friend sleep over if my dad was going to be home from work.

Craig Salazar
00:14:04.333 --> 00:14:10.096
So all the things that we wanted to do and could do happened when he was gone, when he was at work.

Craig Salazar
00:14:10.096 --> 00:14:10.937
Right.

Craig Salazar
00:14:10.937 --> 00:14:15.689
And I mean, that was consistent throughout my entire childhood up until they got divorced.

Craig Salazar
00:14:15.689 --> 00:14:22.505
They got divorced when I was 14, but the way that you describe it as, it's like when a parent travels.

Craig Salazar
00:14:22.505 --> 00:14:35.786
So I had a job from, trying to think when I started, it was like 2016, up until just last year, where I worked for this company called DreamPod that manufactures float tanks.

Craig Salazar
00:14:35.786 --> 00:14:38.669
And a big part of that job was me traveling.

Craig Salazar
00:14:38.669 --> 00:14:46.556
So there was like four or five years when I was just on the road two or three times a month, just gone, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling.

Craig Salazar
00:14:46.556 --> 00:14:50.827
So I loved that you highlighted it for me, because I had never put those two pieces together where...

Craig Salazar
00:14:50.827 --> 00:15:00.643
I'm constantly seeing this like how I was joking about, uh you know, I recreated my childhood by driving my kids to California in a minivan and somehow I recreated my

Craig Salazar
00:15:00.643 --> 00:15:09.638
childhood by being the dad that was gone where, you know, not there half the week and everything is one way and then dad comes home and we got to hurry up.

Craig Salazar
00:15:09.638 --> 00:15:17.727
Because when I was a kid, it was like, shit, Saturday morning, we had to hurry up and get up and vacuum and fold clothes and take out the garbage and.

Craig Salazar
00:15:17.727 --> 00:15:21.314
Rush, rush, rush as fast as we could before he pulled into the driveway.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:15:21.314 --> 00:15:24.001
Yeah, it's almost like you're having a party and the parents are on their way home.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:15:24.001 --> 00:15:26.125
It's like, clean everything up, hurry up.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:15:26.889 --> 00:15:31.008
Being in the Air Force, was he a pretty strict kind of ruled guy?

Craig Salazar
00:15:31.701 --> 00:15:32.451
Not really.

Craig Salazar
00:15:32.451 --> 00:15:38.535
uh wasn't, you know, he just, truthfully, he wasn't really around very much.

Craig Salazar
00:15:38.555 --> 00:15:41.096
When he was home, he wasn't really present.

Craig Salazar
00:15:41.096 --> 00:15:47.180
uh He, there was a certain point where it was just a lot of disconnect.

Craig Salazar
00:15:47.180 --> 00:15:49.491
I don't have a ton of memories involving him.

Craig Salazar
00:15:49.491 --> 00:15:54.604
So he wasn't really actively involved in my day-to-day life.

Craig Salazar
00:15:55.364 --> 00:16:00.361
It was more or less that he was just strict and he was, you know,

Craig Salazar
00:16:00.361 --> 00:16:05.234
an asshole and so we kind of just stayed out of his way as much as we could.

Craig Salazar
00:16:05.234 --> 00:16:17.882
But it also wasn't like he, like we didn't have to, you know, I didn't feel like I was under some strict controlling, although it sounds like it as I'm describing it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:16:18.731 --> 00:16:23.353
But what you're saying, he was physically there, but mentally elsewhere, probably.

Craig Salazar
00:16:23.574 --> 00:16:23.924
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:16:23.924 --> 00:16:24.274
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:16:24.274 --> 00:16:32.209
And it was more just kind of like stay out of his way, you know, and he, probably viewed that time home as his reprieve as opposed to maybe his time to connect with his children.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:16:32.209 --> 00:16:32.519
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:16:32.519 --> 00:16:33.840
There's two different ways to look at it.

Craig Salazar
00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:34.660
Right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:16:35.861 --> 00:16:38.282
So now was your mom a stay at home mom?

Craig Salazar
00:16:38.817 --> 00:16:42.648
She was up until I got into school.

Craig Salazar
00:16:42.648 --> 00:16:51.411
Once I got into school, think even kindergarten, definitely first grade, then she started working outside of the home.

Craig Salazar
00:16:51.411 --> 00:16:55.772
But up until that point, she was a stay at home mom and she babysat.

Craig Salazar
00:16:55.772 --> 00:17:00.073
So my older brothers eventually started going to school.

Craig Salazar
00:17:00.133 --> 00:17:04.554
then suddenly I was like, because those were my playmates, those were my brothers, right?

Craig Salazar
00:17:04.554 --> 00:17:06.514
That's who I'm hanging out with every day.

Craig Salazar
00:17:08.223 --> 00:17:15.176
she would babysit upwards of like eight, 10, 12 kids in the house.

Craig Salazar
00:17:15.176 --> 00:17:20.686
those became the kids that I hung out with and became my playmates up until I went to school.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:17:20.748 --> 00:17:23.825
almost like she ran a daycare out of her home a little bit.

Craig Salazar
00:17:23.825 --> 00:17:24.235
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:17:24.235 --> 00:17:27.010
And then when she went to work, what did she do?

Craig Salazar
00:17:27.745 --> 00:17:29.357
She did a bunch of different things.

Craig Salazar
00:17:29.357 --> 00:17:33.840
She worked at a truck stop uh for a short time at the gas station.

Craig Salazar
00:17:33.840 --> 00:17:38.224
She was just working part-time jobs, I think, in the evenings and when she could get them.

Craig Salazar
00:17:38.224 --> 00:17:45.220
then for a good chunk of time, we were working at the school that I went to, the elementary school.

Craig Salazar
00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:47.993
We lived right down the street from the elementary school.

Craig Salazar
00:17:47.993 --> 00:17:50.675
And so, I mean, it was less than a five-minute walk.

Craig Salazar
00:17:50.675 --> 00:17:54.819
was like literally next, yeah, right next to the elementary school.

Craig Salazar
00:17:54.819 --> 00:17:55.615
So.

Craig Salazar
00:17:55.615 --> 00:17:58.837
We walked back and forth to the school all the time, obviously.

Craig Salazar
00:17:58.837 --> 00:18:01.258
And at some point, I'm trying to remember how old I was.

Craig Salazar
00:18:01.258 --> 00:18:03.179
I was still in elementary school.

Craig Salazar
00:18:03.179 --> 00:18:05.741
So was probably like my fourth grade year.

Craig Salazar
00:18:05.741 --> 00:18:08.582
I was 10 years old or nine years old right before I went into middle school.

Craig Salazar
00:18:08.582 --> 00:18:11.863
Uh, she started being a janitor at the school.

Craig Salazar
00:18:11.863 --> 00:18:18.898
So after school, I would have to stay and then help clean the school and did that up and through.

Craig Salazar
00:18:19.348 --> 00:18:25.111
I think probably like fifth or sixth grade, I would get done in a middle school and then have to walk down.

Craig Salazar
00:18:25.249 --> 00:18:27.210
to the elementary school to help clean up.

Craig Salazar
00:18:27.210 --> 00:18:31.302
So we did that for a while, but then she eventually started working for Head Start.

Craig Salazar
00:18:31.703 --> 00:18:38.928
And once she got that, she started out as not a volunteer teacher, like an assistant teacher.

Craig Salazar
00:18:38.928 --> 00:18:41.319
then just, that's been her career path.

Craig Salazar
00:18:41.319 --> 00:18:51.064
She started at Head Start at the very bottom level and then eventually worked her way up into the corporate side of it, the more administrative side of it all.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:18:51.064 --> 00:18:51.815
That's great.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:18:51.815 --> 00:18:58.155
Now in elementary school, were you in, was there sports or were you into art or music?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:18:58.155 --> 00:19:02.017
Like what did your interest, any interest show up when you were in elementary school?

Craig Salazar
00:19:02.017 --> 00:19:03.008
I don't think so.

Craig Salazar
00:19:03.008 --> 00:19:06.590
um was, you know, I was definitely athletic.

Craig Salazar
00:19:06.771 --> 00:19:09.753
I played um baseball growing up.

Craig Salazar
00:19:09.753 --> 00:19:11.044
We were a baseball family.

Craig Salazar
00:19:11.044 --> 00:19:14.116
Coming from California, my dad's favorite team was the Dodgers.

Craig Salazar
00:19:14.116 --> 00:19:19.920
So that was just imprinted upon birth that that was going to be your favorite team.

Craig Salazar
00:19:20.521 --> 00:19:22.522
And so I grew up playing baseball.

Craig Salazar
00:19:22.522 --> 00:19:29.769
um We weren't allowed to play football, which was a big uh point of contention.

Craig Salazar
00:19:29.769 --> 00:19:39.936
At some point along the way, my parents had some like knee doctor or somebody, I don't know, some mythical person told them, don't let your sons play football.

Craig Salazar
00:19:39.936 --> 00:19:49.213
So they set this rule that we couldn't play football, which there's a funny story about, because eventually I, I got to be the rule breaker for all these hard and fast rules that

Craig Salazar
00:19:49.213 --> 00:19:51.724
were set growing up being the youngest, right?

Craig Salazar
00:19:51.724 --> 00:19:53.356
So that was a really fun thing.

Craig Salazar
00:19:53.356 --> 00:19:58.959
But during that time period in middle or in elementary school, yeah, I'm really, um,

Craig Salazar
00:19:59.551 --> 00:20:01.332
I'm playing baseball.

Craig Salazar
00:20:01.612 --> 00:20:04.313
I'm very much wanting to be outside.

Craig Salazar
00:20:04.353 --> 00:20:14.648
It was very difficult for me to kind of sit and throughout my entire schooling, it was like, can't just sit and do whatever it is that they're wanting me to do.

Craig Salazar
00:20:14.648 --> 00:20:23.642
I was always distracting myself either through my imagination and kind of just daydreaming and dissociating or fighting a lot.

Craig Salazar
00:20:23.642 --> 00:20:25.559
A lot of my friends, I've got like...

Craig Salazar
00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:38.879
One of my long time, like actually my longest friend that we became friends in first grade because we fought so much at recess that our teacher eventually kept us inside from recess

Craig Salazar
00:20:38.879 --> 00:20:40.359
and made us sit in the classroom.

Craig Salazar
00:20:40.359 --> 00:20:41.778
And she's like, this has to stop.

Craig Salazar
00:20:41.778 --> 00:20:43.659
You guys need to be friends now.

Craig Salazar
00:20:43.659 --> 00:20:46.779
And we ended up becoming friends by playing.

Craig Salazar
00:20:46.779 --> 00:20:55.010
I don't know if you remember the old computer game cricket where it was this like, it doesn't matter, but yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:20:55.010 --> 00:20:55.370
that game.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:20:55.370 --> 00:20:56.350
don't either, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:20:56.350 --> 00:20:57.150
No.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:20:57.150 --> 00:21:00.410
Maybe if you want to take 30 seconds to describe it, I might know.

Craig Salazar
00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:01.370
Yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:01.370 --> 00:21:02.650
What's cricket?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:03.450 --> 00:21:05.030
Oh, Oh, Frogger.

Craig Salazar
00:21:05.030 --> 00:21:06.570
Yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:06.570 --> 00:21:08.036
Yeah, we totally know Frogger.

Craig Salazar
00:21:08.036 --> 00:21:14.376
that we played that, you know, the old floppy disks that was cricket instead of Frogger, but it was the same game.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:15.098 --> 00:21:15.832
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:15.832 --> 00:21:18.889
like physically fighting on recess or just arguing?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:18.889 --> 00:21:20.003
Really?

Craig Salazar
00:21:20.003 --> 00:21:23.783
big part of what shaped my childhood was violence.

Craig Salazar
00:21:24.603 --> 00:21:26.887
so it was

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:26.887 --> 00:21:30.557
a fighter then with just this kid or other kids?

Craig Salazar
00:21:30.557 --> 00:21:35.689
No, like I grew up with, because my brothers and I would fight all the time.

Craig Salazar
00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:43.031
And so was very much a violent house in that regards where we were constantly fighting.

Craig Salazar
00:21:43.031 --> 00:21:48.813
I mean, it's, you know, I tried to, I've tried to sugarcoat it over the years and look at it through so many different lenses.

Craig Salazar
00:21:48.813 --> 00:21:50.260
And it's just what it is, what it is.

Craig Salazar
00:21:50.260 --> 00:21:54.209
I mean, we grow up beating the shit out of each other and destroying our house and.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:21:54.209 --> 00:22:01.793
Was it them picking on you and you eventually hitting an age where you're like, fuck this, and you fought back, and you got big enough where you could defend yourself?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:22:01.793 --> 00:22:04.809
Or was it really like, you're an asshole, we're going?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:22:04.809 --> 00:22:05.830
That type of

Craig Salazar
00:22:06.155 --> 00:22:10.637
Yeah, it was very much them picking on me.

Craig Salazar
00:22:10.637 --> 00:22:15.649
But that point of like getting to the age where I could fight back, like I always fought back.

Craig Salazar
00:22:15.649 --> 00:22:18.240
I was always the meanest.

Craig Salazar
00:22:18.520 --> 00:22:21.291
they would have to break me.

Craig Salazar
00:22:21.291 --> 00:22:26.803
There's a story that um when I say I tell, I don't like telling it because it's a shitty memory.

Craig Salazar
00:22:26.803 --> 00:22:29.715
But I was always wanting to play with them, right?

Craig Salazar
00:22:29.715 --> 00:22:30.755
They're my older brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:22:30.755 --> 00:22:32.446
were my idols.

Craig Salazar
00:22:32.446 --> 00:22:33.786
I always wanted to play.

Craig Salazar
00:22:33.786 --> 00:22:35.979
No matter what they were doing, I would want to do it.

Craig Salazar
00:22:35.979 --> 00:22:37.140
I just want to hang out with you guys.

Craig Salazar
00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:38.241
I just want to spend time with you.

Craig Salazar
00:22:38.241 --> 00:22:40.862
Everything that you do is so amazing and so incredible, right?

Craig Salazar
00:22:40.862 --> 00:22:42.984
So just want to hang out with my older brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:22:42.984 --> 00:22:47.577
But there was just enough of an age gap between like they were really close.

Craig Salazar
00:22:47.577 --> 00:22:49.428
They were only two years apart.

Craig Salazar
00:22:49.708 --> 00:22:51.680
And then I was kind of on this back end.

Craig Salazar
00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:56.693
So my oldest brother, em he'll be what is he four years, five years.

Craig Salazar
00:22:56.693 --> 00:22:59.355
He's about four and a half years, five years older than me.

Craig Salazar
00:22:59.355 --> 00:23:05.655
um So there's enough of a gap there that, you know, he's not interested in anything I'm doing.

Craig Salazar
00:23:05.655 --> 00:23:08.415
and I'm only a hindrance to what he's doing.

Craig Salazar
00:23:08.415 --> 00:23:13.035
So that's a lot of times what it was, was I was just in the way of whatever it was that they were trying to do.

Craig Salazar
00:23:13.035 --> 00:23:15.675
Like they would have to dumb down stuff for me.

Craig Salazar
00:23:15.675 --> 00:23:24.095
So like playing to Trivial Pursuit or something, they would use to make up questions for me rather than ask me the actual questions on the card.

Craig Salazar
00:23:24.855 --> 00:23:29.335
So, and on top of all of that, we were always beating the shit out of each other.

Craig Salazar
00:23:29.335 --> 00:23:32.009
It was always hitting each other with stuff and...

Craig Salazar
00:23:32.009 --> 00:23:36.361
It was never like, let's stand up and punch each other in the face and throw punches.

Craig Salazar
00:23:36.361 --> 00:23:38.622
But it was like, let's rustle.

Craig Salazar
00:23:38.622 --> 00:23:40.483
Let's punch each other in the stomach.

Craig Salazar
00:23:40.483 --> 00:23:46.635
And I mean, I used to tackle my brother and just pound away on his back trying to get him to stop.

Craig Salazar
00:23:46.635 --> 00:23:48.686
So it was a lot of that.

Craig Salazar
00:23:48.686 --> 00:23:52.448
And I was the story I was going to tell.

Craig Salazar
00:23:52.448 --> 00:23:52.798
Sorry.

Craig Salazar
00:23:52.798 --> 00:23:57.620
It was uh like the level for with which I would go to so that I could hang out with them.

Craig Salazar
00:23:57.620 --> 00:23:57.800
Right.

Craig Salazar
00:23:57.800 --> 00:23:59.138
I just wanted to hang out with them.

Craig Salazar
00:23:59.138 --> 00:23:59.685
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:23:59.685 --> 00:24:05.237
so my dad was, like I said, he was in the Air Force, but he was essentially military police.

Craig Salazar
00:24:05.238 --> 00:24:07.418
And so he had handcuffs.

Craig Salazar
00:24:07.418 --> 00:24:09.519
So we got my dad's handcuffs.

Craig Salazar
00:24:10.020 --> 00:24:13.061
And I told them, I'm like, you can handcuff me.

Craig Salazar
00:24:13.061 --> 00:24:14.231
You can tie me up.

Craig Salazar
00:24:14.231 --> 00:24:15.632
And I'm going to be able to escape.

Craig Salazar
00:24:15.632 --> 00:24:17.363
Like I wanted to impress them.

Craig Salazar
00:24:17.363 --> 00:24:19.694
At the time, I'm like, and not at the time, I still am.

Craig Salazar
00:24:19.694 --> 00:24:24.606
But at the time, I'm like super into magic and David Copperfield and Harry Houdini.

Craig Salazar
00:24:24.606 --> 00:24:27.087
And I'm like, I'm to be able to get out of this.

Craig Salazar
00:24:27.093 --> 00:24:32.927
So those sons of bitches handcuffed me behind my back and then they put all of these blankets on top of me.

Craig Salazar
00:24:32.927 --> 00:24:39.271
So I'm covered in blankets and then they use this rope and tied around my body on the outside.

Craig Salazar
00:24:39.392 --> 00:24:51.980
And then they leave me in the room and turn the light off and I'm laying there handcuffed, strapped in thinking like if I can get out, they're going to be so like I'm going to amaze

Craig Salazar
00:24:51.980 --> 00:24:53.001
them if I can get out of this.

Craig Salazar
00:24:53.001 --> 00:24:56.383
Like if I can get out of this, they're going to be like so like

Craig Salazar
00:24:56.383 --> 00:24:59.484
you know, that's going to impress them so much if I can get out of this.

Craig Salazar
00:24:59.484 --> 00:25:02.365
And I was so confident that I was going to be able to do it.

Craig Salazar
00:25:02.746 --> 00:25:04.146
And I couldn't do it.

Craig Salazar
00:25:04.587 --> 00:25:13.460
And then it got to the point where it was like, I think I'd literally passed out because it's like this phase, the spoggy memory where I remember being in the blanket, just like

Craig Salazar
00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:18.373
pouring sweat and so hot and so like, I just couldn't move.

Craig Salazar
00:25:18.373 --> 00:25:20.734
And I eventually like fell down.

Craig Salazar
00:25:20.734 --> 00:25:24.215
And the next thing I remember was feeling the rush of like

Craig Salazar
00:25:24.215 --> 00:25:27.796
cool air when my mom was pulling the blanket off of me.

Craig Salazar
00:25:28.016 --> 00:25:30.807
And so at some point, I think I passed out.

Craig Salazar
00:25:30.807 --> 00:25:34.908
I don't know for sure if I did, but she comes into the room and gets me untied.

Craig Salazar
00:25:34.908 --> 00:25:42.960
But she was so pissed off when she found me that she like lost her shit and went after my brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:25:43.561 --> 00:25:46.021
And then I didn't know what was going on.

Craig Salazar
00:25:46.021 --> 00:25:48.222
So I end up like hiding in my room.

Craig Salazar
00:25:48.222 --> 00:25:50.903
And yeah, it was just a crazy experience.

Craig Salazar
00:25:50.903 --> 00:25:52.843
the whole purpose, like the whole

Craig Salazar
00:25:53.129 --> 00:25:57.131
impetus for all of it was like, I just want to hang out with my brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:25:58.057 --> 00:26:00.021
Yeah, and that's result.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:00.029 --> 00:26:00.879
that's crazy?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:00.879 --> 00:26:07.735
Like as you were telling that story, I was claustrophobic and I had anxiety because that's just all, my gosh, I can't even imagine.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:07.735 --> 00:26:08.631
Yeah, that would be terrible.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:08.631 --> 00:26:09.797
The handcuffs alone.

Craig Salazar
00:26:09.797 --> 00:26:10.697
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:11.098 --> 00:26:11.868
It's crazy.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:11.868 --> 00:26:25.920
Do you think that the physical, the way the physical outlet for you guys um was because of the disconnect from your dad, like not having that connection with a father figure in the

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:26.810
house?

Craig Salazar
00:26:27.403 --> 00:26:29.964
Yeah, I think that was a huge component of it.

Craig Salazar
00:26:30.144 --> 00:26:38.768
There's a lot of, like I see my childhood so completely different today than I've ever seen it before.

Craig Salazar
00:26:38.768 --> 00:26:44.971
And a lot of that has come through healing and through trauma and being able to really reflect back and see.

Craig Salazar
00:26:45.391 --> 00:26:51.154
When I say the truth of things, think that, you know, think truth is always relative to where you're at in life.

Craig Salazar
00:26:51.154 --> 00:26:54.103
Like I would have said that I knew the truth of my childhood.

Craig Salazar
00:26:54.103 --> 00:26:59.343
20 years ago, like I would have said, hey, this is what my childhood was, and I would have thought that's the truth of it.

Craig Salazar
00:26:59.343 --> 00:27:00.683
And I think both things are true.

Craig Salazar
00:27:00.683 --> 00:27:01.823
I think that was true.

Craig Salazar
00:27:01.823 --> 00:27:11.003
I think I grew up in a way that I can see it through a lens that it was, you know, I had crazy brothers that used to be the shit out of me, it made me really tough.

Craig Salazar
00:27:11.263 --> 00:27:20.903
I, you know, I never like, luckily I never had to really fight anybody because I, yeah, I don't know why, whether it was, it definitely wasn't because of them.

Craig Salazar
00:27:20.903 --> 00:27:21.699
Like they weren't.

Craig Salazar
00:27:21.699 --> 00:27:25.640
the kind of brothers that like had my back because they were too much older than me, right?

Craig Salazar
00:27:25.640 --> 00:27:29.241
Anyways, I see the childhood through that lens.

Craig Salazar
00:27:29.241 --> 00:27:34.282
And then as I've continued to heal, I see it through a completely different lens.

Craig Salazar
00:27:34.282 --> 00:27:46.686
And there was a lot of shit going on in my house that wasn't being addressed and wasn't being talked about and wasn't being acknowledged and actually was being hidden and all

Craig Salazar
00:27:46.686 --> 00:27:47.816
sorts of things like that.

Craig Salazar
00:27:47.816 --> 00:27:51.427
So the level of like emotional repression.

Craig Salazar
00:27:51.639 --> 00:27:52.819
has to have an outlet.

Craig Salazar
00:27:52.819 --> 00:28:04.699
And I think that's a lot of what we as little boys were doing was feeling all of that stuff and not knowing how to express it, but knowing something was wrong.

Craig Salazar
00:28:04.699 --> 00:28:07.759
So just off gassing almost into each other.

Craig Salazar
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:12.799
And then it just becomes this cycle and pattern of, do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
00:28:12.799 --> 00:28:21.432
Where there's this level of trauma that's existing and happening that's not really being addressed and talked about, but it's manifesting in this way in the house.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:21.432 --> 00:28:33.936
Well, and I think that em for I know for Gen X men when they were kids and definitely for Xennial and elder millennial men, I'm sure the acceptable emotion to express was anger and

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:33.936 --> 00:28:43.409
anything else, you know, um there was no one helped you guys define your emotions in any way like, well, you're feeling this way and this might be why no one got to the root of

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:43.409 --> 00:28:44.509
anything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:44.509 --> 00:28:46.429
And God forbid you guys cried.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:46.429 --> 00:28:48.908
um So I think.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:48.908 --> 00:28:59.983
that makes sense that I have a feeling that uh a large majority of Gen X and elder millennial men when they were kids did act out physically because it builds up.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:28:59.983 --> 00:29:08.486
And then the only outlet you have is that physical reaction or just being angry and edgy as a way of expressing emotions.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:08.486 --> 00:29:08.866
too.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:08.866 --> 00:29:13.108
You guys certainly had to have fed off of each other and especially the older two.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:13.108 --> 00:29:13.423
Right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:13.423 --> 00:29:15.829
And then here's this younger one.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:15.969 --> 00:29:18.330
It's a perfect cocktail in many ways.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:18.648 --> 00:29:31.663
You gotta express your rage somehow or, you know, and it could start as a simple, my buddies, my best friends, he had an older brother and he used to pick on us, us cow bites,

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:31.703 --> 00:29:35.905
press us down and hang loogies over our head and shit like that, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:35.905 --> 00:29:45.028
But then we got old enough and the two of us got old enough where we could take him and for a while there we couldn't, but then once we could, it ended.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:45.509 --> 00:29:48.107
Because we started doing that shit back to him.

Craig Salazar
00:29:48.107 --> 00:29:48.898
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:29:48.898 --> 00:30:01.249
No, I mean, what you're describing is, when did you, when did you, when did you kind of, I think maybe discover the new realization versus say 20 years ago and maybe that new

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:30:01.490 --> 00:30:02.541
perspective on it?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:30:02.541 --> 00:30:03.972
I guess it's evolved, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:30:03.972 --> 00:30:06.474
But did you have an epiphany moment ever?

Craig Salazar
00:30:06.711 --> 00:30:09.031
Yeah, very much an epiphany moment.

Craig Salazar
00:30:09.271 --> 00:30:12.491
came in, it was after COVID.

Craig Salazar
00:30:13.051 --> 00:30:17.411
The timeframe, like time isn't super important to me.

Craig Salazar
00:30:17.411 --> 00:30:22.111
get super, you know, it's like, was this 2018, 2019?

Craig Salazar
00:30:22.111 --> 00:30:24.031
I'm like, no, it was definitely after COVID.

Craig Salazar
00:30:24.031 --> 00:30:28.111
But I think what happened was, I don't think what happened.

Craig Salazar
00:30:28.111 --> 00:30:31.591
What happened was we started working with therapists, both Steph and I.

Craig Salazar
00:30:31.891 --> 00:30:34.927
And it came because of...

Craig Salazar
00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:45.094
I mean, the trajectory that leads up to this moment was almost like the catalyst for that was in 2015, right after we got married, I got fired.

Craig Salazar
00:30:45.094 --> 00:30:50.968
At the time, I was a police officer and I got fired right after we got married in 2015.

Craig Salazar
00:30:50.968 --> 00:30:56.521
So then that just like catapults the next five years of chaos to ensue after that.

Craig Salazar
00:30:56.521 --> 00:31:03.214
It was really a stressful time in our relationship and in our life for so many different reasons.

Craig Salazar
00:31:04.085 --> 00:31:14.564
So we start working with therapists and just after COVID and we happen to just like luck out and find the perfect therapists that worked so well with us.

Craig Salazar
00:31:14.564 --> 00:31:23.231
You how sometimes it's hard, you know, not all therapists are for all, you know, you got to find the ones that connect with and I've had therapy off and on over the years, but

Craig Salazar
00:31:23.251 --> 00:31:27.375
never like a real concerted amount of it.

Craig Salazar
00:31:27.375 --> 00:31:29.696
Just uh some.

Craig Salazar
00:31:30.478 --> 00:31:32.375
Boy, I don't even I'm trying to remember now.

Craig Salazar
00:31:32.375 --> 00:31:36.076
I I had a little bit of couples therapy in my first marriage.

Craig Salazar
00:31:36.076 --> 00:31:44.619
um And then I started seeing a therapist for a short time in my first marriage, but then after that, and that was in my 20s.

Craig Salazar
00:31:44.619 --> 00:31:52.521
And so I start working with a therapist and eventually we do MDMA assisted therapy with these therapists.

Craig Salazar
00:31:52.741 --> 00:31:58.023
And they came out to the house and we would take turns, both Steph and I, where...

Craig Salazar
00:31:58.023 --> 00:31:59.343
um

Craig Salazar
00:31:59.575 --> 00:32:02.287
because the therapists work in conjunction with each other too.

Craig Salazar
00:32:02.287 --> 00:32:10.865
So Steph's therapist would come to the sessions when I did MDMA and my therapist would go to the sessions when Stephanie would do MDNA.

Craig Salazar
00:32:10.865 --> 00:32:15.788
So we each had our own individual therapists, but they each kind of crossed back and forth.

Craig Salazar
00:32:16.089 --> 00:32:22.985
And uh it was a really cool dynamic that ended up happening and created a huge amount of healing for both of us.

Craig Salazar
00:32:22.985 --> 00:32:27.573
But that's what it was, was in that therapy during that time period.

Craig Salazar
00:32:27.573 --> 00:32:30.564
It was over the course of a little over a year.

Craig Salazar
00:32:30.964 --> 00:32:37.045
And at the same time of doing those sessions, we were also microdosing psilocybin.

Craig Salazar
00:32:37.126 --> 00:32:49.329
And I think in conjunction with all of that, being able to really remember things and have trauma that was repressed for a very, very long time, I mean, up until that point, em

Craig Salazar
00:32:49.329 --> 00:32:55.151
being able to reach in and be able to touch those places and see that stuff and start to put those pieces together.

Craig Salazar
00:32:55.151 --> 00:32:57.043
And then it's just like the...

Craig Salazar
00:32:57.043 --> 00:33:10.388
dominoes just kind of start falling down because you see your childhood through different lenses now because it's like, now it makes sense why, you know, this was the case.

Craig Salazar
00:33:10.489 --> 00:33:11.939
It's kind of like fighting with my brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:33:11.939 --> 00:33:17.862
That was kind of like uh a beginning point where I started to see things very, very differently.

Craig Salazar
00:33:17.862 --> 00:33:22.153
I'm like, um why did we fight all the time?

Craig Salazar
00:33:22.153 --> 00:33:23.804
know, truth is, I love my brothers.

Craig Salazar
00:33:23.804 --> 00:33:24.674
I love my family.

Craig Salazar
00:33:24.674 --> 00:33:26.615
I grew up in a really

Craig Salazar
00:33:26.827 --> 00:33:31.102
beautiful little town with all these opportunities and grew up playing baseball.

Craig Salazar
00:33:31.102 --> 00:33:34.436
Like there's a perspective of my childhood that's the sandlot.

Craig Salazar
00:33:34.436 --> 00:33:36.759
I totally, you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
00:33:36.759 --> 00:33:40.302
Loved, it's like, that's what it was.

Craig Salazar
00:33:40.303 --> 00:33:44.615
And there was this other thing that was also happening at the same time.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:33:44.615 --> 00:33:46.942
Have you ever spoken with them about it?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:33:46.942 --> 00:33:48.247
Have you guys revisited it?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:33:48.247 --> 00:33:49.409
The three of you?

Craig Salazar
00:33:49.779 --> 00:33:53.987
No, I don't really have much of a relationship with either of them anymore at this point.

Craig Salazar
00:33:54.269 --> 00:33:55.971
It's real sporadic.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:33:56.994 --> 00:33:57.661
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:33:57.661 --> 00:33:57.931
right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:33:57.931 --> 00:34:01.713
So now middle school, always say middle school.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:01.713 --> 00:34:03.264
us on track.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:05.246 --> 00:34:05.686
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:05.686 --> 00:34:11.130
I want to dive into the whole, it's a journey that approach the psilocybin MDMA approach.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:11.130 --> 00:34:14.432
You're almost, I'm jumping ahead, but you're an advocate.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:14.432 --> 00:34:23.160
It sounds like, and not that it's controversial per se, but it's semi new maybe or unconventional.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:23.160 --> 00:34:26.132
but I do think there's a lot of value there.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:26.132 --> 00:34:28.484
Traditional medicine doesn't totally embrace it yet.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:28.484 --> 00:34:30.150
So I do want to dig into that.

Craig Salazar
00:34:30.150 --> 00:34:30.476
100%.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:30.476 --> 00:34:33.618
Yeah, we'll go deeper into that for sure.

Craig Salazar
00:34:33.897 --> 00:34:35.598
it's a big part of the journey for sure.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:35.598 --> 00:34:36.818
Yeah, yeah, it's cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:36.818 --> 00:34:38.518
I always say middle school sucks.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:38.518 --> 00:34:43.778
It sucks for the kids in it and it sucks for parents of middle school age children.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:43.778 --> 00:34:47.318
I hated it and all three of my kids had negative experiences.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:47.318 --> 00:34:49.578
So that's my perspective.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:50.198 --> 00:34:52.798
How was your middle school experience?

Craig Salazar
00:34:53.818 --> 00:34:56.138
OK, so you're one of those.

Craig Salazar
00:34:56.138 --> 00:34:58.298
There's there's there's definitely people.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:34:58.298 --> 00:34:59.278
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:34:59.998 --> 00:35:00.449
OK.

Craig Salazar
00:35:00.449 --> 00:35:05.263
when I, uh so for me it was fifth grade through eighth grade.

Craig Salazar
00:35:06.264 --> 00:35:15.171
And during that time period is when I really solidified all of my core friends that I would continue, I still have those friends today.

Craig Salazar
00:35:15.252 --> 00:35:24.009
So it was really that timeframe where it was like, that was the timeframe when I was riding my bike all over town, where it was, we were having sleepovers.

Craig Salazar
00:35:24.009 --> 00:35:30.553
all weekend long, we were out in the middle of nowhere doing all the things that we weren't supposed to be doing.

Craig Salazar
00:35:30.553 --> 00:35:31.203
Do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
00:35:31.203 --> 00:35:35.005
Like that timeframe was so magical for me.

Craig Salazar
00:35:35.125 --> 00:35:38.007
So it was a lot of Great, great years for me.

Craig Salazar
00:35:38.007 --> 00:35:38.607
All of them.

Craig Salazar
00:35:38.607 --> 00:35:47.702
Like there's, you know, there's so many stories in there of like, em yeah, there's a lot of stories during that timeframe, but it's all beautiful.

Craig Salazar
00:35:47.702 --> 00:35:48.673
It's all good.

Craig Salazar
00:35:48.673 --> 00:35:50.274
I really enjoyed it.

Craig Salazar
00:35:51.635 --> 00:35:52.178
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:35:52.178 --> 00:35:53.012
mobility, really.

Craig Salazar
00:35:53.012 --> 00:35:54.945
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:35:54.945 --> 00:36:03.318
that time period, so my parents got divorced when I was 14, which was that uh eighth grade to ninth grade years.

Craig Salazar
00:36:03.318 --> 00:36:08.299
So going into high school, that was what I was dealing with uh as a freshman.

Craig Salazar
00:36:08.299 --> 00:36:20.692
But leading up to that point, very much had autonomy, very much was in between, you know, after school, we would go home and my parents aren't home, my dad's gone at work.

Craig Salazar
00:36:20.692 --> 00:36:22.973
So we know, you know, my dad's not home.

Craig Salazar
00:36:22.985 --> 00:36:24.966
And he was usually home like on the weekends.

Craig Salazar
00:36:24.966 --> 00:36:26.917
He wasn't really home during the week.

Craig Salazar
00:36:26.917 --> 00:36:30.108
And my mom was working in the evening, so she wasn't going to be home.

Craig Salazar
00:36:30.108 --> 00:36:35.671
So it's very much coming home, watching TV, making, you know, not really making anything.

Craig Salazar
00:36:35.671 --> 00:36:36.741
We ate a ton of cereal.

Craig Salazar
00:36:36.741 --> 00:36:39.923
uh That was the life.

Craig Salazar
00:36:39.923 --> 00:36:44.755
And then if it wasn't that, it was doing the equivalent of that at my buddy's houses.

Craig Salazar
00:36:44.755 --> 00:36:47.186
And I had so many different friends over town.

Craig Salazar
00:36:47.186 --> 00:36:49.807
One of my best friends was right up the street in

Craig Salazar
00:36:49.877 --> 00:36:52.448
He was in between my house and the middle school.

Craig Salazar
00:36:52.448 --> 00:37:03.561
So oftentimes it was just going to his house and hanging out at his house and doing all of those kinds of No, Yeah, empty houses.

Craig Salazar
00:37:03.561 --> 00:37:14.125
mean, should say, I'm trying to think like, yeah, the vast majority of my childhood, was like, you know, a mom might have been home for a few hours or something, but yeah, by and

Craig Salazar
00:37:14.125 --> 00:37:14.847
large.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:37:14.847 --> 00:37:17.267
were you playing baseball still during that time?

Craig Salazar
00:37:17.375 --> 00:37:26.582
Yes, during my middle school years, yeah, I switched from baseball to tennis when I went into high school because that core group of guys that I was growing up with in middle

Craig Salazar
00:37:26.582 --> 00:37:32.196
school for whatever reason, well, not for whatever reason, one of them was in the tennis family.

Craig Salazar
00:37:32.196 --> 00:37:35.799
There was this huge tennis family dynasty um in Grantsville.

Craig Salazar
00:37:35.799 --> 00:37:37.510
So he was part of that lineage.

Craig Salazar
00:37:37.510 --> 00:37:40.373
So he was going to play tennis in high school regardless.

Craig Salazar
00:37:40.373 --> 00:37:41.924
And he had been playing tennis already.

Craig Salazar
00:37:41.924 --> 00:37:43.915
And then everybody else kind of followed.

Craig Salazar
00:37:43.915 --> 00:37:46.096
And it was like, I wanted to play baseball, guys.

Craig Salazar
00:37:46.096 --> 00:37:47.416
I thought we were playing baseball.

Craig Salazar
00:37:47.416 --> 00:37:51.178
And I ended up playing tennis throughout high school, which was a great experience as well.

Craig Salazar
00:37:51.178 --> 00:37:55.880
But middle school, I was still playing baseball and, you know, like all stars.

Craig Salazar
00:37:55.880 --> 00:37:57.631
And we took third place and stayed.

Craig Salazar
00:37:57.631 --> 00:38:03.143
And it's like all the, I mean, that was just like, like that would be my stand by me years.

Craig Salazar
00:38:03.143 --> 00:38:05.574
That's like the richest part of my childhood.

Craig Salazar
00:38:05.574 --> 00:38:13.878
If I was going to ever, you know, write a book or make a movie of my childhood, it would definitely be that time period because there was so much fun stuff.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:38:13.878 --> 00:38:14.621
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:38:14.621 --> 00:38:18.332
And then you said your parents got divorced.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:38:18.332 --> 00:38:20.717
Do you did you know that was coming?

Craig Salazar
00:38:21.931 --> 00:38:26.445
Like it was, uh we knew that their relationship was pretty much non-existent.

Craig Salazar
00:38:26.445 --> 00:38:30.378
Like for the most part, they didn't really have a functional marriage.

Craig Salazar
00:38:30.739 --> 00:38:39.837
And when it finally came, like when my mom finally sat us down, she sat down all three of us boys and it was like, we're getting a divorce and we're like, it's about fucking time.

Craig Salazar
00:38:39.837 --> 00:38:42.168
Like, why did you wait so long?

Craig Salazar
00:38:42.209 --> 00:38:42.920
Do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
00:38:42.920 --> 00:38:44.774
They just weren't in a...

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:38:44.774 --> 00:38:46.609
you should have done this years ago.

Craig Salazar
00:38:47.153 --> 00:38:47.532
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:38:47.532 --> 00:38:56.066
yeah, it was kind of the thing where we didn't understand like, we have this life when he's not here that is this and then we have this life when he is here.

Craig Salazar
00:38:56.066 --> 00:38:57.157
Like it makes a lot of sense.

Craig Salazar
00:38:57.157 --> 00:38:59.378
Why don't we have this life all the time?

Craig Salazar
00:38:59.479 --> 00:39:00.469
And, you know.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:39:00.469 --> 00:39:08.778
find that, um because for a lot of us Gen Xers, we were the first generation where parents were typically getting divorced.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:39:08.778 --> 00:39:14.987
I mean, there was divorce before that, but it was starting to become more, quote unquote, normal for us.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:39:14.987 --> 00:39:22.702
ah Did you find with your peers, was it an unusual situation that your parents were divorcing?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:39:22.702 --> 00:39:26.869
Were all your friends' parents still married or was everyone getting divorced?

Craig Salazar
00:39:26.869 --> 00:39:30.202
No, it was a very, it was not common.

Craig Salazar
00:39:30.202 --> 00:39:42.882
we also had the added, the community, the town that I grew up in was, when I say like predominant or the majority, like essentially all of the town is Mormon.

Craig Salazar
00:39:42.882 --> 00:39:48.277
So it's a completely small Mormon town from, you know, in Utah.

Craig Salazar
00:39:48.598 --> 00:39:54.203
And so that religion also colors everything, which means

Craig Salazar
00:39:54.696 --> 00:39:57.332
people aren't getting divorced in that religion.

Craig Salazar
00:39:57.332 --> 00:40:04.309
it's um not something that none of my other friends, its parents were getting divorced.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:40:04.494 --> 00:40:07.519
So was it considered fairly scandalous at the time?

Craig Salazar
00:40:08.011 --> 00:40:10.033
I don't know for sure from the outside.

Craig Salazar
00:40:10.033 --> 00:40:19.641
uh I think I was probably too, uh too involved in what I was experiencing from the inside of it to see if it was viewed that way from the outside.

Craig Salazar
00:40:19.641 --> 00:40:27.177
We also weren't, we were always kind of on the outside of the community anyways, because my dad was not Mormon.

Craig Salazar
00:40:27.177 --> 00:40:35.023
My mom was, and she had grown, my mom grew up in this town, so I knew everybody in the town or everybody knew me essentially.

Craig Salazar
00:40:35.023 --> 00:40:37.367
So if I didn't know them, they know who I was.

Craig Salazar
00:40:37.367 --> 00:40:40.047
was because I was my mom's boy, right?

Craig Salazar
00:40:40.047 --> 00:40:44.007
As soon as they learned that you're a Salazar, oh, okay, now we know who you are.

Craig Salazar
00:40:47.455 --> 00:40:49.396
Sorry, what were we talking about?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:40:50.657 --> 00:40:51.408
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:40:51.408 --> 00:40:56.060
It was, we were on the outside of the community already because we weren't really part of the church.

Craig Salazar
00:40:56.081 --> 00:41:03.766
We would go to church um in order to kind of meet the community aspect of it because we were really involved in scouting as well.

Craig Salazar
00:41:03.766 --> 00:41:09.290
Like that was another big component to my childhood was the scouts and Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts and the whole nine yards.

Craig Salazar
00:41:09.290 --> 00:41:11.171
And my parents were involved with it as well.

Craig Salazar
00:41:11.171 --> 00:41:15.254
They were our leaders in scouting and involved with it pretty intensely.

Craig Salazar
00:41:15.254 --> 00:41:16.555
um

Craig Salazar
00:41:16.555 --> 00:41:23.448
So we were on the outside of the community because we stopped going to church when I was about nine or 10 years old.

Craig Salazar
00:41:23.448 --> 00:41:28.750
And then um scouting kind of fell away as well when they got divorced.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:41:28.750 --> 00:41:41.430
So when they got divorced, was probably kind of like, people didn't do a head-to-head judgment necessarily because you guys weren't super involved in the community at that

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:41:41.430 --> 00:41:42.890
time, probably.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:41:43.630 --> 00:41:50.710
So the scouting, when your parents were leaders, your dad, assume then that was when he was home and not at work.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:41:50.710 --> 00:41:53.574
But did all the scouting stuff happen whenever he was home?

Craig Salazar
00:41:54.273 --> 00:41:57.615
Yes and no, like, cause my mom was our Cub Scout leaders.

Craig Salazar
00:41:57.615 --> 00:42:00.676
So like we would have Cub Scouts at the house.

Craig Salazar
00:42:00.676 --> 00:42:07.739
So like the, all the Cub Scouts would come to the house and my mom was the den leader of that group of Cub Scouts.

Craig Salazar
00:42:07.739 --> 00:42:11.031
So, um, he's not around for that kind of stuff.

Craig Salazar
00:42:11.031 --> 00:42:16.643
He would be around when we would have like the pack meetings and the group meetings and all the kind of council stuff.

Craig Salazar
00:42:16.643 --> 00:42:20.947
And he was always involved with, uh,

Craig Salazar
00:42:20.947 --> 00:42:30.380
more of the scouting from the backside, like the administration and the, em there's like adults that are involved in scouting that don't really have anything to do with.

Craig Salazar
00:42:30.380 --> 00:42:36.823
Yeah, they're more like it's, you know, they're hanging out and planning whatever they do.

Craig Salazar
00:42:36.823 --> 00:42:40.374
I don't know, he, he, he just was not involved with what we were actually doing.

Craig Salazar
00:42:40.374 --> 00:42:43.195
He was involved, but he was involved with it at an adult level.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:42:43.195 --> 00:42:46.039
She was still, she was doing most of it.

Craig Salazar
00:42:46.701 --> 00:42:47.873
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:42:47.873 --> 00:42:48.323
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:42:48.323 --> 00:42:51.639
So how was it for you when they got divorced?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:42:51.639 --> 00:42:57.877
Did you stay living with, did you and your brother stay living with your mom and your dad moved out or what was the situation?

Craig Salazar
00:42:57.877 --> 00:43:04.520
My oldest brother was already, let's see, if I was 14, he would have already been, he like, was already off to college.

Craig Salazar
00:43:04.520 --> 00:43:10.172
I feel like it happened during the time period when he was, uh when he graduated and then he was going to college.

Craig Salazar
00:43:10.172 --> 00:43:12.063
So he wasn't really an issue.

Craig Salazar
00:43:12.063 --> 00:43:14.033
So it was just me and my other brother.

Craig Salazar
00:43:14.033 --> 00:43:16.795
And it wasn't really an option.

Craig Salazar
00:43:16.795 --> 00:43:24.679
uh It wasn't the, their relationship was really uh screwy and wacky.

Craig Salazar
00:43:24.679 --> 00:43:25.719
And so

Craig Salazar
00:43:25.781 --> 00:43:27.982
We didn't really m have a choice.

Craig Salazar
00:43:27.982 --> 00:43:30.102
It was essentially, this is what happened.

Craig Salazar
00:43:30.102 --> 00:43:33.333
And then my dad left and then we didn't really see him that much.

Craig Salazar
00:43:33.753 --> 00:43:37.954
I didn't even know where he like lived or where he was staying.

Craig Salazar
00:43:37.954 --> 00:43:41.515
He would come and get us sometimes after he'd get off of work.

Craig Salazar
00:43:41.515 --> 00:43:44.176
Cause again, he's working at the same place, right?

Craig Salazar
00:43:44.176 --> 00:43:50.398
And he lived somewhere outside of Grantsville somewhere, like I just assumed in Salt Lake or something like that.

Craig Salazar
00:43:50.398 --> 00:43:54.709
But I didn't, we never actually went to his house until I was much older.

Craig Salazar
00:43:54.791 --> 00:43:55.753
Okay.

Craig Salazar
00:43:55.952 --> 00:43:57.173
so we never stayed with him.

Craig Salazar
00:43:57.173 --> 00:43:59.054
There was no split custody.

Craig Salazar
00:43:59.175 --> 00:44:06.381
He would come in sometimes and like snag us and take us to a movie or something like that, and then come drop us back off at the house or something like that.

Craig Salazar
00:44:06.381 --> 00:44:07.982
So still lived at home.

Craig Salazar
00:44:07.982 --> 00:44:10.564
um I'm 14.

Craig Salazar
00:44:10.564 --> 00:44:15.087
My oldest brother, or Brian, my middle brother, he was a senior.

Craig Salazar
00:44:15.128 --> 00:44:17.189
So he graduated.

Craig Salazar
00:44:17.189 --> 00:44:24.376
And then I still had like, em yeah, the rest of those teenage years just at home with my mom.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:44:24.376 --> 00:44:29.419
I mean, typically for all three of you boys, those are rough ages for your parents to get divorced.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:44:29.419 --> 00:44:35.143
But it sounds like for you guys, it um maybe almost brought some peace to the situation.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:44:35.143 --> 00:44:38.085
Like it was kind of something you guys were waiting to have happen.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:44:38.085 --> 00:44:46.601
And when it finally did, not that it wasn't rough, but it was probably was almost like, like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop a little bit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:44:46.601 --> 00:44:48.782
Is that an accurate description?

Craig Salazar
00:44:49.099 --> 00:44:56.634
Yeah, think there was definitely the side of us that we were able to just go like, and take a deep breath.

Craig Salazar
00:44:57.056 --> 00:45:00.702
And that definitely...

Craig Salazar
00:45:02.455 --> 00:45:05.515
helped, think, for a lot of different reasons and a lot of different things.

Craig Salazar
00:45:05.515 --> 00:45:12.975
But there was a bigger part of just not like having real understanding of why or what was going on.

Craig Salazar
00:45:12.975 --> 00:45:13.295
Do you know what mean?

Craig Salazar
00:45:13.295 --> 00:45:17.355
I don't know if like kids ever understand why their parents are getting divorced.

Craig Salazar
00:45:17.355 --> 00:45:20.295
Having been through a divorce, I don't even know if I really understand, right?

Craig Salazar
00:45:20.295 --> 00:45:22.915
I mean, sometimes it's really clear why people are getting divorced.

Craig Salazar
00:45:22.915 --> 00:45:29.955
But the space is so convoluted that I don't think we had any understanding of why they were getting divorced.

Craig Salazar
00:45:29.955 --> 00:45:31.329
And then

Craig Salazar
00:45:31.329 --> 00:45:42.675
There was a part of me that still very much missed my dad and wanted my dad there and having him just kind of essentially disappear and not show up to anything.

Craig Salazar
00:45:42.675 --> 00:45:53.511
Like there's, you know, all of my, all the stuff that I did throughout high school, uh, acting and plays and tennis and all of these different events and things like that.

Craig Salazar
00:45:53.511 --> 00:45:55.032
He'd never showed up to any of them.

Craig Salazar
00:45:55.032 --> 00:45:57.574
He just wasn't present for any of that stuff.

Craig Salazar
00:45:57.574 --> 00:46:00.261
And so that, what's that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:00.261 --> 00:46:01.805
What about holidays?

Craig Salazar
00:46:02.219 --> 00:46:03.635
They would like.

Craig Salazar
00:46:05.377 --> 00:46:10.491
I was gonna say they would split them, but we never celebrated uh holidays with him.

Craig Salazar
00:46:11.032 --> 00:46:19.519
Yeah, so we always just did the same thing and then he would like come by in the mornings sometimes on his way home from work or something.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:19.608 --> 00:46:22.451
So your core person was your mom.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:24.456 --> 00:46:26.872
And is she still alive?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:27.958 --> 00:46:29.611
Are you still close with her?

Craig Salazar
00:46:29.898 --> 00:46:30.992
No, I'm not.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:31.180 --> 00:46:32.712
Okay, we'll get to that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:32.834 --> 00:46:39.952
What sounds to me more like your person or persons were your buddies, your friends.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:39.952 --> 00:46:41.224
Is that accurate?

Craig Salazar
00:46:41.505 --> 00:46:44.642
Yeah, I mean, they definitely were what saved me, I think.

Craig Salazar
00:46:44.642 --> 00:46:46.796
um

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:46.796 --> 00:46:48.190
you're still friends with them now.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:46:48.190 --> 00:46:51.098
You definitely bonded with them through those years.

Craig Salazar
00:46:51.098 --> 00:47:00.371
Yeah, we, I, you know, I spent more time at my, I tried to spend as much time as I could away from my home during that time period.

Craig Salazar
00:47:00.733 --> 00:47:05.485
And em so it was, yeah, yeah, totally.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:47:05.485 --> 00:47:08.750
So you said you played tennis going into high school.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:47:08.791 --> 00:47:10.574
And then you acted.

Craig Salazar
00:47:11.125 --> 00:47:23.122
Yeah, I was super into theater in high school and I like a real big gift that my dad gave us was like just obsession with TV and movies and film and everything.

Craig Salazar
00:47:23.122 --> 00:47:29.415
grew up watching every movie that you could possibly imagine was just like that was what I was going to do.

Craig Salazar
00:47:29.415 --> 00:47:30.666
I was going to be an actor.

Craig Salazar
00:47:30.666 --> 00:47:32.077
I was going to move to Hollywood.

Craig Salazar
00:47:32.077 --> 00:47:33.137
I was going to L.A.

Craig Salazar
00:47:33.137 --> 00:47:34.278
This was like my path.

Craig Salazar
00:47:34.278 --> 00:47:35.499
I had it laid out before me.

Craig Salazar
00:47:35.499 --> 00:47:36.729
I knew that this was going to happen.

Craig Salazar
00:47:36.729 --> 00:47:40.329
And so when I got into high school, I started acting.

Craig Salazar
00:47:40.329 --> 00:47:45.523
And I did some plays in middle school, but they only did musicals.

Craig Salazar
00:47:45.523 --> 00:47:49.245
And they basically did the same thing in high school too, where they would only do musicals.

Craig Salazar
00:47:49.245 --> 00:47:54.829
And because I was going to be an actor, you know, I wasn't going to, I wasn't going to be in musicals.

Craig Salazar
00:47:54.829 --> 00:47:55.850
I loved musicals.

Craig Salazar
00:47:55.850 --> 00:47:56.600
I loved Broadway.

Craig Salazar
00:47:56.600 --> 00:47:59.872
I loved all of that stuff, but I wasn't, I wasn't singing.

Craig Salazar
00:47:59.872 --> 00:48:01.153
I'm an actor.

Craig Salazar
00:48:01.213 --> 00:48:07.077
We've got to be in serious plays and I got to be in one serious play when I was in, when I was a freshman.

Craig Salazar
00:48:07.077 --> 00:48:09.899
And then they ended up firing the guy that

Craig Salazar
00:48:09.899 --> 00:48:13.786
would direct the serious plays and he could no longer work at the school.

Craig Salazar
00:48:13.808 --> 00:48:18.397
And so then it was just all musicals from that point on and my acting career ended.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:22.252
Were you both a theater kid and a tennis kid?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:48:23.092 --> 00:48:25.213
But it sounds like your school was pretty small.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:48:25.213 --> 00:48:32.267
So were people divided up like that and clicks like how they were in the big high schools and in the 80s movies and all that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:48:32.267 --> 00:48:33.828
Was it still like that in your school?

Craig Salazar
00:48:33.828 --> 00:48:34.395
Okay.

Craig Salazar
00:48:34.395 --> 00:48:35.606
just on the smaller level.

Craig Salazar
00:48:35.606 --> 00:48:43.719
So you had like cowboys because not only was our mascot cowboys, it was the Grantsville cowboys, but it was a small rural community.

Craig Salazar
00:48:43.719 --> 00:48:46.159
It was a small rural farming community.

Craig Salazar
00:48:46.159 --> 00:48:55.122
And so there was people that were legit cowboys and had horses and had to ride horses and were cutting hay and had to tend to the farm.

Craig Salazar
00:48:55.122 --> 00:48:58.623
And so there was that group of uh clique.

Craig Salazar
00:48:58.645 --> 00:49:07.418
And then you had like the skater slash stoner slash basically everything that was on the outside of society group of kids, right?

Craig Salazar
00:49:07.418 --> 00:49:12.479
And then you had like athletes and popular kids and nerdy kids, all those things.

Craig Salazar
00:49:12.539 --> 00:49:23.522
And what I, the core group of guys that I had in middle school that we really bonded with, as soon as we got into high school, it felt like um truthfully it happened when we started

Craig Salazar
00:49:23.522 --> 00:49:26.243
getting licenses and we were able to.

Craig Salazar
00:49:26.313 --> 00:49:29.844
spend time with girlfriends in a much easier fashion.

Craig Salazar
00:49:29.985 --> 00:49:38.428
a lot of my buddies, almost what felt like all of them, I had three really close friends and they all got girlfriends and then they just left.

Craig Salazar
00:49:38.428 --> 00:49:48.273
And so then it was like, I was hanging out by myself and they were always busy with their girlfriends and I got really tired of hanging out with them and their girlfriends.

Craig Salazar
00:49:48.273 --> 00:49:54.037
And so I had to start making friends with all sorts of different groups of people and that really shaped high school for me.

Craig Salazar
00:49:54.037 --> 00:49:58.730
was I had friends across what felt like all of those spectrums.

Craig Salazar
00:49:58.871 --> 00:50:06.578
And I can see that like again through a perspective where, you know, that was a catalyst for me where my friends started getting girlfriends and I didn't have a girl.

Craig Salazar
00:50:06.578 --> 00:50:07.448
I wanted a girlfriend.

Craig Salazar
00:50:07.448 --> 00:50:10.060
I was trying to get girlfriends, but I didn't have a girlfriend.

Craig Salazar
00:50:10.061 --> 00:50:12.382
And so I had to hang out with these other people.

Craig Salazar
00:50:12.382 --> 00:50:23.019
But I also have like the ability to mask really well and show up and see what people um are expecting from me and then providing that for them.

Craig Salazar
00:50:23.019 --> 00:50:26.583
because from childhood and trauma and survival mechanisms.

Craig Salazar
00:50:26.583 --> 00:50:32.468
So I did a really good job of fitting in everywhere because I know how to fit in everywhere in order to survive.

Craig Salazar
00:50:33.209 --> 00:50:35.571
So for sure.

Craig Salazar
00:50:35.571 --> 00:50:41.287
But I also like the lens where it was like, cool, I was hanging out with people and I had friends in all these different groups, because I did.

Craig Salazar
00:50:41.287 --> 00:50:47.958
And I'm also just like lonely as fuck because my best friends were gone and I needed somebody to hang out with.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:50:47.958 --> 00:50:55.425
and you weren't being your authentic self because you were a representation of the people you were with more than you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:50:55.698 --> 00:50:59.379
I think a lot of, ah well, not just a lot of high schoolers go through that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:50:59.379 --> 00:51:04.864
I think a lot of people do that throughout their lives, but especially in high school, you know, it's just such a crazy time.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:51:04.864 --> 00:51:06.325
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:51:06.325 --> 00:51:09.538
So when you graduated, did you go to college?

Craig Salazar
00:51:10.199 --> 00:51:21.819
No, it's kind of an interesting because my my oldest brother went to college and then same thing my middle brother he went to college he went to the University of Utah and got his

Craig Salazar
00:51:21.819 --> 00:51:31.079
degree in mechanical engineering and I planned on going to the same school like I was just going to follow in his footsteps and go to the University of Utah.

Craig Salazar
00:51:31.079 --> 00:51:39.419
I wasn't going to go into engineering I was going to go into acting and go into drama and into the theater department and I was all set up to go and

Craig Salazar
00:51:39.915 --> 00:51:41.427
like had a dorm room and everything.

Craig Salazar
00:51:41.427 --> 00:51:50.952
And then at the last minute, I panicked and bailed on the whole thing and ended up moving to Minnesota with a girl that I met over the internet.

Craig Salazar
00:51:50.952 --> 00:51:52.975
m

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:51:53.043 --> 00:51:55.129
so wait, are we talking it's June?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:51:55.129 --> 00:51:57.195
You've graduated from high school.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:51:57.195 --> 00:51:59.715
You have your dorm like reserved.

Craig Salazar
00:51:59.715 --> 00:52:05.443
like I graduated from high school and I've got all this stuff in place to go to college in the fall.

Craig Salazar
00:52:05.845 --> 00:52:12.511
And during that time period, I had started talking to this girl on the internet, but at the time...

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:52:12.511 --> 00:52:13.341
platform?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:52:13.341 --> 00:52:18.885
Because I was actually going to ask you, when did social media show up for you?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:52:18.885 --> 00:52:20.316
Would this have been MySpace?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:52:20.316 --> 00:52:22.577
Facebook Messenger?

Craig Salazar
00:52:22.657 --> 00:52:24.241
No, way before.

Craig Salazar
00:52:24.241 --> 00:52:35.223
took at school essentially was like this is a computer and this is how you use a computer and we have this new thing called the internet and you can create an email address and

Craig Salazar
00:52:35.223 --> 00:52:38.326
then you can send each other emails in class.

Craig Salazar
00:52:38.527 --> 00:52:42.991
So it was through an email and it was like a

Craig Salazar
00:52:45.623 --> 00:52:48.283
Yeah, it was my senior year, so it was 99.

Craig Salazar
00:52:49.183 --> 00:52:57.863
So it was a super random thing where it was a spam email with and back then you could see everybody's email address.

Craig Salazar
00:52:57.863 --> 00:53:09.483
And so I just clicked on random email addresses and sent off a letter of, hi, my name's Craig and I'm looking for pen pals essentially, is what I treated it like.

Craig Salazar
00:53:10.203 --> 00:53:12.445
And exactly.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:53:12.445 --> 00:53:16.147
but we actually wrote letters because we're older than you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:53:16.147 --> 00:53:20.910
ah But okay, and so there was this one girl that you started.

Craig Salazar
00:53:21.015 --> 00:53:31.118
she responded back and we would email back and forth during school and then it came time to graduate and I didn't have a computer at home and we didn't have any access to it back

Craig Salazar
00:53:31.118 --> 00:53:33.999
then so it's not like I was going to be able to keep in touch with her.

Craig Salazar
00:53:33.999 --> 00:53:43.922
So I gave her my phone number and then graduate, go on this big cool senior trip to Mexico, had this whole, you know, and then come, it's like some day in the middle of the

Craig Salazar
00:53:43.922 --> 00:53:46.623
summer I come home and there's a message from this girl.

Craig Salazar
00:53:46.991 --> 00:53:48.562
And I didn't even remember her name.

Craig Salazar
00:53:48.562 --> 00:53:49.823
The message was like, Jess called.

Craig Salazar
00:53:49.823 --> 00:53:50.472
Call Jess back.

Craig Salazar
00:53:50.472 --> 00:53:51.791
And I'm like, who's Jess?

Craig Salazar
00:53:51.791 --> 00:53:52.915
And I'm like, oh.

Craig Salazar
00:53:52.915 --> 00:53:54.486
And then it all clicked and came back.

Craig Salazar
00:53:54.486 --> 00:53:58.699
And we started talking on the phone and built this relationship over the phone.

Craig Salazar
00:53:58.699 --> 00:54:02.722
And then all at the same time of like, I'm going to be going to college.

Craig Salazar
00:54:02.722 --> 00:54:07.165
then I, like again, looking back, I can see it very differently.

Craig Salazar
00:54:07.165 --> 00:54:08.727
Like I straight up panicked.

Craig Salazar
00:54:08.727 --> 00:54:15.131
I was so scared to go to college and the, just the overwhelm of what that was going to look like and be like.

Craig Salazar
00:54:15.132 --> 00:54:24.615
you know, just so much anxiety and fear about it that instead I, oh, I guess I'm going to move to Minnesota and live with Jess now because Jess and I are in a relationship.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:24.966 --> 00:54:26.505
to backtrack, we're in Mexico.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:26.505 --> 00:54:27.906
just have to know.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:27.906 --> 00:54:29.266
Did you do your senior trip?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:29.266 --> 00:54:29.923
Where did you do your

Craig Salazar
00:54:29.923 --> 00:54:31.057
was a cruise to...

Craig Salazar
00:54:31.057 --> 00:54:32.079
em

Craig Salazar
00:54:33.611 --> 00:54:34.886
Gosh dang it.

Craig Salazar
00:54:36.661 --> 00:54:37.745
in Sonata.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:38.166 --> 00:54:40.726
Okay, the only reason I ask is mine was Mazatlan.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:40.726 --> 00:54:42.121
So I was just curious what yours was.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:42.121 --> 00:54:44.393
And I don't know what our parents were thinking.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:44.393 --> 00:54:45.925
We didn't have a chaperone.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:54:45.925 --> 00:54:50.980
We just were a bunch of 18 year olds that went down there and did too much bad stuff.

Craig Salazar
00:54:51.403 --> 00:55:02.027
Yeah, it was a fun, it was the, cause we went to California for a few days first and did like two days at Disneyland and then got on the boat and went down to Mexico.

Craig Salazar
00:55:02.088 --> 00:55:05.029
And same thing like the chaperones were a joke, right?

Craig Salazar
00:55:05.029 --> 00:55:07.260
They were two adults that were going on vacation.

Craig Salazar
00:55:07.260 --> 00:55:10.298
They could care less that there was a bunch of teenagers.

Craig Salazar
00:55:10.298 --> 00:55:12.438
at least at the time, you could drink at 18.

Craig Salazar
00:55:12.438 --> 00:55:15.658
So we were able to go to the bars, went to senior frogs.

Craig Salazar
00:55:15.658 --> 00:55:17.980
We were able to just, we went crazy.

Craig Salazar
00:55:17.980 --> 00:55:19.380
I got sick on the boat.

Craig Salazar
00:55:19.380 --> 00:55:22.801
It was the craziest thing where had a blast in California.

Craig Salazar
00:55:22.801 --> 00:55:23.900
Everybody gets on the boat.

Craig Salazar
00:55:23.900 --> 00:55:27.362
Like this is the most amazing trip that we've ever going to go on.

Craig Salazar
00:55:27.363 --> 00:55:33.014
And while we were out at sea, I got strep throat and it got so bad that I couldn't even like swallow.

Craig Salazar
00:55:33.014 --> 00:55:36.705
It was this terrible um sore throat.

Craig Salazar
00:55:36.705 --> 00:55:42.721
So when it came time to like I even had to like pay the $50 and go see the doctor on the ship and

Craig Salazar
00:55:42.721 --> 00:55:45.422
get some antibiotic prescribed and everything.

Craig Salazar
00:55:45.422 --> 00:55:49.955
So I was in my cabin a lot of the time, just like miserable.

Craig Salazar
00:55:49.955 --> 00:55:59.480
And by the time I started feeling better, we had already, so I didn't even get off the ship when we went to Mexico and everybody went and had a blast and came back with all of

Craig Salazar
00:55:59.480 --> 00:56:00.571
these incredible stories.

Craig Salazar
00:56:00.571 --> 00:56:06.764
And it's probably best because I was the kind of guy that would have like, I always did everything to the extreme.

Craig Salazar
00:56:06.764 --> 00:56:10.506
I always had to do like the wild and the craziest thing imaginable.

Craig Salazar
00:56:10.506 --> 00:56:12.213
So it's probably like,

Craig Salazar
00:56:12.213 --> 00:56:17.279
The universe was looking out for me and be like, you're not allowed into Mexico at this state of your life.

Craig Salazar
00:56:17.422 --> 00:56:18.862
You're not ready for what's here.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:18.862 --> 00:56:19.642
to tell about it.

Craig Salazar
00:56:19.642 --> 00:56:19.942
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:19.942 --> 00:56:20.383
You know what?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:20.383 --> 00:56:22.023
That's probably very true.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:22.023 --> 00:56:30.526
And I was just laughing to myself because when you said you got back and there was a message from Jess and I know some of our listeners are going to think on your phone a text

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:30.526 --> 00:56:32.016
and it's like, no, these are landlines.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:32.016 --> 00:56:33.166
And it was a message.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:33.166 --> 00:56:35.627
I was going to say, I bet your mom wrote it, right?

Craig Salazar
00:56:36.427 --> 00:56:37.948
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:37.948 --> 00:56:41.309
That's awesome.

Craig Salazar
00:56:42.149 --> 00:56:42.749
Yes.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:42.749 --> 00:56:46.182
And when you guys were talking, you were talking on a landline.

Craig Salazar
00:56:46.182 --> 00:56:46.673
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:56:46.673 --> 00:56:51.454
And I racked up like hundreds and hundreds of dollars in long distance.

Craig Salazar
00:56:51.454 --> 00:56:53.866
uh

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:56:53.866 --> 00:56:57.286
pay for long distance for anyone younger than us.

Craig Salazar
00:56:58.426 --> 00:56:59.186
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:56:59.186 --> 00:56:59.762
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
00:56:59.762 --> 00:57:01.734
phone bills because of the phone call.

Craig Salazar
00:57:01.734 --> 00:57:04.059
We would sit on the phone for like hours.

Craig Salazar
00:57:04.059 --> 00:57:05.307
It was terrible.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:05.307 --> 00:57:07.970
called out of state, forget it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:07.970 --> 00:57:09.262
How did you deal with that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:09.262 --> 00:57:14.478
Because I remember racking up long distance bills and I had a roommate in college who did the same.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:14.478 --> 00:57:17.050
Your parents kind of come down on you a little bit, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:17.050 --> 00:57:20.698
Did you have to deal with it or did your mom was like, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:20.698 --> 00:57:21.549
point.

Craig Salazar
00:57:21.549 --> 00:57:32.983
so basically, you know, I didn't have a really healthy relationship with my mom and I got away with way more in whether I should have or shouldn't have.

Craig Salazar
00:57:32.983 --> 00:57:33.203
Right.

Craig Salazar
00:57:33.203 --> 00:57:33.623
Who knows?

Craig Salazar
00:57:33.623 --> 00:57:33.823
Right.

Craig Salazar
00:57:33.823 --> 00:57:34.794
It all is what it is.

Craig Salazar
00:57:34.794 --> 00:57:38.315
And being a parent now, I can see it from a bunch of different angles, too.

Craig Salazar
00:57:38.315 --> 00:57:38.586
Right.

Craig Salazar
00:57:38.586 --> 00:57:44.628
But um yeah, I yeah, she got mad at me and my, know, oh, sure, I'll pay those back.

Craig Salazar
00:57:44.628 --> 00:57:45.558
I don't have a job.

Craig Salazar
00:57:45.558 --> 00:57:47.359
The result is I just

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:52.043 --> 00:57:55.787
And then you're like, and I'm not going to go to college and I'm going to Minnesota.

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:57:55.787 --> 00:57:56.814
So there you go.

Craig Salazar
00:57:56.814 --> 00:57:57.933
uh

Craig Salazar
00:57:57.933 --> 00:58:04.759
happened was we talked over the phone and essentially, you know, we fall in love talking over the phone to each other and we decided that we want to meet.

Craig Salazar
00:58:04.759 --> 00:58:10.505
And so she flies out to Utah from Minnesota because she had never seen the mountains.

Craig Salazar
00:58:10.505 --> 00:58:13.227
She wanted to see mountains and then she wanted to see the ocean.

Craig Salazar
00:58:13.227 --> 00:58:17.071
So her and I go on this road trip to California.

Craig Salazar
00:58:17.071 --> 00:58:21.707
And it's basically the same road trip that I went on when I was eight years old in the back of the.

Craig Salazar
00:58:21.707 --> 00:58:23.138
VW bug this time.

Craig Salazar
00:58:23.138 --> 00:58:34.036
I'm just driving my mom's Saturn out to California with my new girlfriend from Minnesota So we had this incredible trip to uh To the ocean and to the California and we stayed in

Craig Salazar
00:58:34.036 --> 00:58:43.702
Las Vegas and we had all of these really cool experiences and so she was out for like two weeks and Then when it came time for her to go back to Minnesota We still wanted to like

Craig Salazar
00:58:43.702 --> 00:58:50.537
be together like we didn't want this to not be a thing and she had a job she was working at a not a

Craig Salazar
00:58:50.763 --> 00:58:54.446
She was working at a casino that was on an Indian reservation.

Craig Salazar
00:58:54.827 --> 00:58:59.371
And so she already had a job and she was like, you should come to Minnesota.

Craig Salazar
00:58:59.371 --> 00:59:00.512
I can get us a place.

Craig Salazar
00:59:00.512 --> 00:59:02.694
You can get a job at the casino.

Craig Salazar
00:59:02.694 --> 00:59:05.816
Like all of these things were just laid out for me.

Craig Salazar
00:59:05.837 --> 00:59:12.302
And I was like, that sounds easier than college where I am incredibly afraid.

Craig Salazar
00:59:12.323 --> 00:59:14.403
I didn't suck at school.

Craig Salazar
00:59:14.403 --> 00:59:17.013
I got perfectly fine grades.

Craig Salazar
00:59:17.013 --> 00:59:19.504
If I really wanted to, I could have gotten like way better grades.

Craig Salazar
00:59:19.504 --> 00:59:20.524
I just didn't care enough.

Craig Salazar
00:59:20.524 --> 00:59:26.597
So I did the least amount of work possible and the idea that I was going to have to go back to college and do more work.

Craig Salazar
00:59:26.597 --> 00:59:28.828
Cause all I wanted to do was go act.

Craig Salazar
00:59:28.828 --> 00:59:31.719
I didn't want to go and have to do all the other shit.

Craig Salazar
00:59:31.719 --> 00:59:33.326
I just wanted to go act.

Craig Salazar
00:59:33.326 --> 00:59:34.350
I wanted to go perform.

Craig Salazar
00:59:34.350 --> 00:59:36.431
I wanted to go learn more about that stuff.

Craig Salazar
00:59:36.431 --> 00:59:39.332
So I bailed on that and I went to Minnesota instead.

Craig Salazar
00:59:39.653 --> 00:59:45.548
And that was a crazy like, um, experience in of itself, you know,

GenX Adulting Podcast
00:59:45.548 --> 00:59:47.070
What part of Minnesota?

Craig Salazar
00:59:47.285 --> 00:59:50.397
It was this small town um called Brainerd.

Craig Salazar
00:59:50.397 --> 00:59:52.027
It's north of the Twin Cities.

Craig Salazar
00:59:52.027 --> 00:59:54.659
It's kind of um halfway up.

Craig Salazar
00:59:54.659 --> 00:59:56.300
It's just outside of Fargo.

Craig Salazar
00:59:56.300 --> 00:59:59.131
So Brainerd is actually like in the movie Fargo.

Craig Salazar
00:59:59.131 --> 01:00:01.242
Are you guys movie people?

Craig Salazar
01:00:02.323 --> 01:00:02.803
OK.

Craig Salazar
01:00:02.803 --> 01:00:06.965
uh She's the sheriff of Brainerd.

Craig Salazar
01:00:07.845 --> 01:00:11.590
So that's the city that I ended up

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:00:11.590 --> 01:00:13.194
did you move in with her?

Craig Salazar
01:00:13.515 --> 01:00:21.340
Yeah, so like she, we had the whole thing in Utah and then she flew back to Minnesota and got everything set up for us.

Craig Salazar
01:00:21.340 --> 01:00:24.002
She went and got us a one bedroom apartment.

Craig Salazar
01:00:24.002 --> 01:00:28.525
um She had it all set up to where when I showed up.

Craig Salazar
01:00:28.525 --> 01:00:36.411
what happened was my mom and I packed up everything in my mom's car and my mom drove me to Minnesota and then dropped me off.

Craig Salazar
01:00:36.411 --> 01:00:41.424
And then my mom drove back, drove back to Utah, but just had the apartment all set up for us.

Craig Salazar
01:00:41.424 --> 01:00:42.815
Everything was ready.

Craig Salazar
01:00:42.955 --> 01:00:50.823
I even already had like, I think I had to like fill out some paperwork or something if I remember right, but I feel like I already had the job at the casino.

Craig Salazar
01:00:50.823 --> 01:00:55.957
Like it was a really easy thing where I just showed up and had all of these things.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:00:56.466 --> 01:00:57.510
as well?

Craig Salazar
01:00:57.879 --> 01:01:04.239
Yeah, she was the same age that I was, but I feel like she was like, you know, six months older or something like that.

Craig Salazar
01:01:04.239 --> 01:01:08.309
She was a little bit older than I was, but she wasn't like 19 or 20 or anything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:01:08.309 --> 01:01:11.236
OK, so you guys are both working at the casino.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:01:11.599 --> 01:01:13.152
What do you do at the casino?

Craig Salazar
01:01:13.425 --> 01:01:14.906
was a slot attendant.

Craig Salazar
01:01:14.906 --> 01:01:26.825
And so I walked around the casino floor and paid out jackpots or filled up slot machines with coins because back in the day it was, yeah, I had like, it was the coolest job.

Craig Salazar
01:01:26.825 --> 01:01:30.757
They gave me a billfold with like $3,000 cash in it.

Craig Salazar
01:01:30.918 --> 01:01:37.602
And uh I'd walk around and pay out jackpots and make change for people and fix machines, little things like that.

Craig Salazar
01:01:37.602 --> 01:01:38.894
And it was a lot of fun.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:01:38.894 --> 01:01:41.730
That was probably when people could still smoke too, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:01:41.730 --> 01:01:42.568
In the casino.

Craig Salazar
01:01:42.568 --> 01:01:44.827
That's when I started smoking as well.

Craig Salazar
01:01:45.313 --> 01:01:46.184
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:01:50.379 --> 01:01:56.784
Well, it was like on break, you would go to the cafeteria that was like, you know, down below underneath the casino, right?

Craig Salazar
01:01:56.784 --> 01:02:00.447
They've got all the different things below the main casino floor.

Craig Salazar
01:02:00.447 --> 01:02:02.069
And that's where the cafeteria was.

Craig Salazar
01:02:02.069 --> 01:02:05.482
So you go down there for lunch break and there's two cafes.

Craig Salazar
01:02:05.482 --> 01:02:06.382
There's two rooms.

Craig Salazar
01:02:06.382 --> 01:02:09.996
One of them is the non-smoking side and then the other side of the smoking side.

Craig Salazar
01:02:09.996 --> 01:02:14.389
And there's an old lady crocheting in the non-smoking side by herself, right?

Craig Salazar
01:02:14.389 --> 01:02:16.641
Eating her little at home lunch.

Craig Salazar
01:02:16.641 --> 01:02:19.473
And then the other side is where everybody's at.

Craig Salazar
01:02:19.615 --> 01:02:21.975
And I'm like, I gotta go sit in the smoking side.

Craig Salazar
01:02:21.975 --> 01:02:24.250
So it was about two weeks before I started smoking.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:02:24.250 --> 01:02:25.290
is so funny.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:02:25.290 --> 01:02:28.050
That was probably on a reservation too then, right?

Craig Salazar
01:02:28.430 --> 01:02:29.870
Yeah, okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:02:29.930 --> 01:02:32.630
So you guys are living together, you and Jess.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:02:32.630 --> 01:02:36.870
How long did you live together and both of you work at the casino?

Craig Salazar
01:02:37.711 --> 01:02:39.672
I chuckle because it's terrible.

Craig Salazar
01:02:39.672 --> 01:02:41.113
It was about two months.

Craig Salazar
01:02:41.113 --> 01:02:42.453
It wasn't long at all.

Craig Salazar
01:02:42.453 --> 01:02:43.373
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:02:43.894 --> 01:02:45.534
Yeah, it was really quick.

Craig Salazar
01:02:46.815 --> 01:02:48.676
Because another woman came on the scene.

Craig Salazar
01:02:48.676 --> 01:02:52.878
There was a there was a another girl at the casino.

Craig Salazar
01:02:52.878 --> 01:03:01.561
And I learned all about this after the fact, because essentially this was a big deal at the casino because it's a small little essentially it's just a small little town at the

Craig Salazar
01:03:01.561 --> 01:03:01.911
casino.

Craig Salazar
01:03:01.911 --> 01:03:03.942
All the employees know everybody.

Craig Salazar
01:03:03.982 --> 01:03:06.783
Just as mom works at the casino as well.

Craig Salazar
01:03:06.783 --> 01:03:09.756
So it's this whole, you know, small little community of people.

Craig Salazar
01:03:09.756 --> 01:03:13.269
So it was a big deal when Jess flew to Utah to meet this person.

Craig Salazar
01:03:13.269 --> 01:03:16.893
And then it was an even bigger deal that this person's now coming back here.

Craig Salazar
01:03:16.893 --> 01:03:20.436
So everybody already knew about me before I got there.

Craig Salazar
01:03:20.637 --> 01:03:27.823
And this girl that ended up, I mean, I was 100 %

Craig Salazar
01:03:29.559 --> 01:03:31.281
Culpable not culpable.

Craig Salazar
01:03:31.281 --> 01:03:32.161
What's the right word?

Craig Salazar
01:03:32.161 --> 01:03:35.104
Like what ended up happening was I ended up?

Craig Salazar
01:03:35.104 --> 01:03:42.130
uh Cheating on her with this other girl because this other girl was like laying it on really really thick and I'm like cool This is awesome.

Craig Salazar
01:03:42.130 --> 01:03:53.681
Jess is like not my first girlfriend um But she was basically my first quote-unquote serious girlfriend prior to that It's like, you know silly high school stuff where I might

Craig Salazar
01:03:53.681 --> 01:03:56.536
have been dating somebody for like three months or something

Craig Salazar
01:03:56.536 --> 01:03:57.087
Right.

Craig Salazar
01:03:57.087 --> 01:04:00.350
And I go from that experience to suddenly just living with somebody.

Craig Salazar
01:04:00.350 --> 01:04:01.290
So it was a nightmare.

Craig Salazar
01:04:01.290 --> 01:04:12.840
But this other girl knew that I was coming and her and her friend who also worked at the casino made this like little side agreement that they were going to try to break us up.

Craig Salazar
01:04:12.840 --> 01:04:20.326
So he flirted with uh my girlfriend trying to like distract her over here and then she would flirt with me over here.

Craig Salazar
01:04:20.326 --> 01:04:22.008
Anyways, it ended up working.

Craig Salazar
01:04:22.008 --> 01:04:26.367
And then what ended up happening was I break up with Jess and then

Craig Salazar
01:04:26.367 --> 01:04:30.399
start this relationship with this other girl, which basically it's not a relationship.

Craig Salazar
01:04:30.399 --> 01:04:45.319
We're just sleeping together and couch surfing because she's living in the upstairs attic of the back garage of her fiance's grandmother's house and he's in prison.

Craig Salazar
01:04:45.319 --> 01:04:48.642
Like it's just a big ball of chaos.

Craig Salazar
01:04:48.642 --> 01:04:51.348
It's like the, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:04:51.348 --> 01:04:54.089
this is the part that might be the movie.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:04:54.089 --> 01:04:58.170
So you go from small town Utah to that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:04:58.811 --> 01:04:59.731
You're just jumping it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:04:59.731 --> 01:05:01.482
Well, you said you were extremes, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:05:01.482 --> 01:05:02.992
So you're like, I'm going for it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:05:02.992 --> 01:05:04.603
Like if I'm to do it, I'm doing it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:05:04.603 --> 01:05:08.394
So and did Jess stay in the apartment?

Craig Salazar
01:05:09.111 --> 01:05:13.692
So she moved out for like two weeks.

Craig Salazar
01:05:14.292 --> 01:05:15.863
It was like in my head.

Craig Salazar
01:05:15.863 --> 01:05:17.343
I'm like, this is the easiest thing ever.

Craig Salazar
01:05:17.343 --> 01:05:18.534
I didn't have a car either.

Craig Salazar
01:05:18.534 --> 01:05:19.554
Jess had a car.

Craig Salazar
01:05:19.554 --> 01:05:23.015
So I didn't have a car, but this new girl had a car.

Craig Salazar
01:05:23.315 --> 01:05:27.286
So she also worked at the casino and she also worked to the same shift I worked.

Craig Salazar
01:05:27.286 --> 01:05:28.874
So easy peasy.

Craig Salazar
01:05:28.874 --> 01:05:29.857
I don't have to worry too much.

Craig Salazar
01:05:29.857 --> 01:05:32.337
I still had a ride to get to where I needed to go.

Craig Salazar
01:05:32.578 --> 01:05:37.519
And we had like a six month lease on the apartment, so we couldn't get out of the lease.

Craig Salazar
01:05:37.557 --> 01:05:42.549
So now I had this like really nice apartment and I've got this new girlfriend and she's got a car and I'm fine.

Craig Salazar
01:05:42.549 --> 01:05:43.730
Everything's okay.

Craig Salazar
01:05:43.730 --> 01:05:48.722
And then Jess decided that she, cause she went back home for like two weeks and she's like, screw that.

Craig Salazar
01:05:48.722 --> 01:05:50.232
I'm not moving back home.

Craig Salazar
01:05:50.232 --> 01:05:55.775
So she comes back to the apartment and everything was in her name cause she was the one that got it all right.

Craig Salazar
01:05:55.775 --> 01:05:58.196
So then she's like, no, I'm moving back in here.

Craig Salazar
01:05:58.196 --> 01:05:59.596
And I'm like, that's fine.

Craig Salazar
01:05:59.596 --> 01:06:01.197
I'll just sleep on the couch.

Craig Salazar
01:06:01.197 --> 01:06:02.778
I can still live here too.

Craig Salazar
01:06:02.778 --> 01:06:03.978
It was just a nightmare.

Craig Salazar
01:06:03.978 --> 01:06:06.453
And so eventually I leave.

Craig Salazar
01:06:06.453 --> 01:06:15.283
And then I'm like sleeping on the floor of this studio apartment with friends of a friend of a friend that we met at like Denny's at midnight one night.

Craig Salazar
01:06:15.283 --> 01:06:17.278
it was just a nightmare.

Craig Salazar
01:06:17.278 --> 01:06:18.387
And I ended up.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:06:18.387 --> 01:06:20.253
the two of you would couch surf.

Craig Salazar
01:06:20.253 --> 01:06:27.845
No, we couched, we were staying at one of her friend's house uh for just a short short time.

Craig Salazar
01:06:27.845 --> 01:06:36.067
And then what ended up happening, because I couldn't go stay with her, because like I said, she lived with grandma and she was engaged to grandma's.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:06:36.067 --> 01:06:36.987
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:06:37.048 --> 01:06:47.571
And he ended up breaking out of jail and she like went and took him because he found out that she was sleeping with me.

Craig Salazar
01:06:47.571 --> 01:06:49.129
So he breaks out of jail.

Craig Salazar
01:06:49.129 --> 01:07:00.526
She goes and cuts him off at the pass basically and then whisks him away to the cabin in the woods so that he doesn't get picked up and taken back to jail.

Craig Salazar
01:07:00.526 --> 01:07:04.849
And then she would periodically come into town.

Craig Salazar
01:07:04.849 --> 01:07:08.811
And when she was in town is when she would come see me for like 15 minutes.

Craig Salazar
01:07:09.191 --> 01:07:15.687
And all of my shit was in the trunk of her Ford probe that had a...

Craig Salazar
01:07:15.687 --> 01:07:21.855
donut on it and it was in the middle of January in Minnesota, was like the worst.

Craig Salazar
01:07:21.855 --> 01:07:26.760
mean, like Utah snow was legit snow, but Minnesota is a whole other beast.

Craig Salazar
01:07:26.961 --> 01:07:31.288
So the kids there ride their snowmobiles to high school.

Craig Salazar
01:07:31.288 --> 01:07:32.150
yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:07:32.214 --> 01:07:32.868
my gosh.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:07:32.868 --> 01:07:34.655
So how long did that go on?

Craig Salazar
01:07:35.287 --> 01:07:37.309
That lasted for just a couple of months.

Craig Salazar
01:07:37.309 --> 01:07:44.894
Altogether, I think I moved to Minnesota in October and I was back home permanently in Utah by like March.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:07:45.955 --> 01:07:46.356
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:07:46.356 --> 01:07:51.359
a whirlwind life in Minnesota and then you were like, okay, enough of this.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:07:51.359 --> 01:07:52.557
I need to get back home.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:07:52.557 --> 01:07:56.439
I'm tired of sleeping on the floor and having my clothes in a trunk.

Craig Salazar
01:07:56.439 --> 01:07:59.159
Well, the whole thing was I was trying to convince this other girl.

Craig Salazar
01:07:59.159 --> 01:08:00.599
I'm like, why are you with this guy?

Craig Salazar
01:08:00.599 --> 01:08:02.139
He's clearly crazy and insane.

Craig Salazar
01:08:02.139 --> 01:08:03.259
You don't like him.

Craig Salazar
01:08:03.259 --> 01:08:04.419
Let's you and me.

Craig Salazar
01:08:04.419 --> 01:08:05.459
Let's go to Utah.

Craig Salazar
01:08:05.459 --> 01:08:06.759
We know how to get away from this.

Craig Salazar
01:08:06.759 --> 01:08:07.539
Come on.

Craig Salazar
01:08:07.539 --> 01:08:10.059
Let's hop in that sweet ass Ford Probe of yours.

Craig Salazar
01:08:10.059 --> 01:08:11.379
It's falling apart.

Craig Salazar
01:08:11.399 --> 01:08:12.919
We'll make it all the way back to Utah.

Craig Salazar
01:08:12.919 --> 01:08:13.659
I'm sure.

Craig Salazar
01:08:13.659 --> 01:08:18.239
So that was the whole thing was I was waiting for her and she kept being like, yes, yes, yes.

Craig Salazar
01:08:18.239 --> 01:08:18.799
Eventually.

Craig Salazar
01:08:18.799 --> 01:08:19.379
Yes, yes, yes.

Craig Salazar
01:08:19.379 --> 01:08:21.131
Eventually just stringing me along.

Craig Salazar
01:08:21.131 --> 01:08:24.882
And then it got to the point where I um didn't, I wasn't working anymore.

Craig Salazar
01:08:24.882 --> 01:08:26.355
I didn't work at the casino.

Craig Salazar
01:08:26.355 --> 01:08:32.278
I had like my last $150 check that I got from the casino for my final paycheck.

Craig Salazar
01:08:32.479 --> 01:08:36.802
And I used that to buy a bus ticket back to Utah.

Craig Salazar
01:08:36.802 --> 01:08:38.763
So I took a great bus.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:08:38.807 --> 01:08:39.909
did you quit the casino?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:08:39.909 --> 01:08:42.191
Was that intentional to not be working there?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:08:42.733 --> 01:08:45.396
OK, you were in your plan was that go home.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:08:46.439 --> 01:08:48.612
So then what did you do when you got home?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:08:48.612 --> 01:08:51.903
Did you get a job in the town that you're where you live?

Craig Salazar
01:08:51.903 --> 01:08:53.954
no, the small town didn't really have a lot to offer.

Craig Salazar
01:08:53.954 --> 01:09:00.267
They I mean, there's a lot of em manufacturing out there, but it's like a magnesium plant or a salt plant.

Craig Salazar
01:09:00.267 --> 01:09:02.068
Like it's it's hard.

Craig Salazar
01:09:02.068 --> 01:09:04.449
You know, there's I'm not interested in.

Craig Salazar
01:09:04.449 --> 01:09:08.790
Eventually I would work at those places, but that's later on in life when I moved back out there.

Craig Salazar
01:09:08.790 --> 01:09:15.113
uh When I got back from Minnesota, I started working in Salt Lake City as a server.

Craig Salazar
01:09:15.113 --> 01:09:17.234
I started uh working at Cracker Barrel.

Craig Salazar
01:09:17.234 --> 01:09:19.975
So I would drive in and out and then.

Craig Salazar
01:09:20.553 --> 01:09:28.045
After I got the job at Cracker Barrel, I ended up uh renting an apartment with this other woman uh that worked at Cracker Barrel.

Craig Salazar
01:09:28.045 --> 01:09:38.518
She was a single mom and she had a boyfriend that was in jail as well, but it was the type of thing that that was her baby's daddy and she needed a place to live because her parents

Craig Salazar
01:09:38.518 --> 01:09:42.549
were going to not let her uh move back into the house.

Craig Salazar
01:09:42.549 --> 01:09:44.090
I was like, well, I need a place to live.

Craig Salazar
01:09:44.090 --> 01:09:45.400
Let's just get an apartment together.

Craig Salazar
01:09:45.400 --> 01:09:48.821
So we had a two-bedroom apartment that we shared together and we were just friends.

Craig Salazar
01:09:48.907 --> 01:09:51.188
And it was great for a short time.

Craig Salazar
01:09:51.188 --> 01:09:56.430
then her boyfriend got out of jail and comes and lives with her in the apartment.

Craig Salazar
01:09:56.490 --> 01:09:59.101
And then all of my shit started getting stolen.

Craig Salazar
01:09:59.101 --> 01:10:03.873
And like, I would come back and you could clearly tell that everything had been gone through in my room.

Craig Salazar
01:10:03.873 --> 01:10:07.573
And so she was supposed to be, what's that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:07.573 --> 01:10:10.142
was this in Salt Lake City that you were living?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:10.142 --> 01:10:11.559
OK, OK, OK.

Craig Salazar
01:10:11.559 --> 01:10:12.039
yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:10:12.039 --> 01:10:14.379
And she was supposed to like cover half of the utilities.

Craig Salazar
01:10:14.379 --> 01:10:18.619
And I found like the power bill that she hadn't been paying for like six months.

Craig Salazar
01:10:18.619 --> 01:10:19.759
And that was in my name.

Craig Salazar
01:10:19.759 --> 01:10:24.879
So it was just the silly like all the dumb stuff that you do when you don't know better, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:24.879 --> 01:10:29.279
When you're a teenager, all the stuff that I can see as a parent, you're like watching it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:29.279 --> 01:10:32.919
And because we watched our kids do the same thing where you're just like, don't do that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:32.919 --> 01:10:34.899
It's going to turn out this way.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:34.899 --> 01:10:36.439
And then they do that thing.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:10:36.439 --> 01:10:37.879
And you're like, well.

Craig Salazar
01:10:37.932 --> 01:10:38.417
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:10:38.417 --> 01:10:40.708
all of those things when I was that age.

Craig Salazar
01:10:40.828 --> 01:10:46.229
And what happened was I was working at Cracker Barrel, living with this chick.

Craig Salazar
01:10:46.349 --> 01:10:52.671
And then when everything kind of went south with her and we weren't dating, we were just like, again, living together.

Craig Salazar
01:10:52.827 --> 01:10:59.553
I at the same time, I had started dating another not dating another person because again, I wasn't dating this woman.

Craig Salazar
01:10:59.553 --> 01:11:00.683
Like, I really want to clarify.

Craig Salazar
01:11:00.683 --> 01:11:06.715
And it makes it sound like I'm clarifying it because it's like, no, really, we weren't dating like.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:11:07.146 --> 01:11:08.106
has a record too.

Craig Salazar
01:11:08.106 --> 01:11:08.336
yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:11:08.336 --> 01:11:08.907
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:11:08.907 --> 01:11:09.627
right?

Craig Salazar
01:11:10.546 --> 01:11:11.007
100%.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:11:11.007 --> 01:11:12.767
This is admissible in court, right?

Craig Salazar
01:11:12.767 --> 01:11:15.047
We were not dating back then.

Craig Salazar
01:11:15.787 --> 01:11:18.147
But I met my first wife.

Craig Salazar
01:11:18.147 --> 01:11:19.427
She started working at the Crack Barrel.

Craig Salazar
01:11:19.427 --> 01:11:26.487
So we started dating and living together and pretty much immediately, yeah, just moved in together right off the bat.

Craig Salazar
01:11:26.687 --> 01:11:34.027
Like I don't have a healthy understanding of what relationships are.

Craig Salazar
01:11:34.047 --> 01:11:34.391
So...

Craig Salazar
01:11:34.391 --> 01:11:44.831
I also, like the Mormon church is set up in such a way where the trajectory and the path for people, for kids in the church is you graduate from high school, for boys, right?

Craig Salazar
01:11:44.831 --> 01:11:50.491
You graduate from high school, you go on a mission which lasts two years and then you come home from your mission and you get married.

Craig Salazar
01:11:50.491 --> 01:11:57.991
So it's very common for everybody to, you know, be married and have kids by the time they're 22, 23, 24 years old.

Craig Salazar
01:11:57.991 --> 01:11:59.375
And so...

Craig Salazar
01:11:59.637 --> 01:12:02.779
there's a part of me that's subconsciously being driven by that.

Craig Salazar
01:12:02.779 --> 01:12:08.852
And I'm also like my older brother that had gone off to college, he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant.

Craig Salazar
01:12:08.852 --> 01:12:12.094
And so he was married now with a young boy.

Craig Salazar
01:12:12.094 --> 01:12:18.878
And so when I met my first wife, she had a daughter that was um six months old.

Craig Salazar
01:12:19.018 --> 01:12:23.741
And I immediately just like latched on to them.

Craig Salazar
01:12:23.741 --> 01:12:27.307
Not in a, that sounded terrible, but I fell in love with.

Craig Salazar
01:12:27.307 --> 01:12:35.653
her and then also with her daughter and ended up adopting her daughter, my daughter, um when she was 18 months old.

Craig Salazar
01:12:35.653 --> 01:12:38.935
Yeah, so we got together, started living together.

Craig Salazar
01:12:39.156 --> 01:12:40.797
She got a job with the post office.

Craig Salazar
01:12:40.797 --> 01:12:45.080
So she's immediately had like a really nice paying job, but she was working all the time.

Craig Salazar
01:12:45.080 --> 01:12:46.841
So I stayed home with our daughter.

Craig Salazar
01:12:46.841 --> 01:12:49.758
And then uh we moved up to...

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:12:49.758 --> 01:12:50.569
did you do that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:12:50.569 --> 01:12:52.812
How long were you a stay at home dad?

Craig Salazar
01:12:53.183 --> 01:13:02.768
So after we got married, we had another daughter and I stayed home with both of them until uh Maddie was in school.

Craig Salazar
01:13:02.768 --> 01:13:06.690
And I would do like the part-time thing at night.

Craig Salazar
01:13:06.990 --> 01:13:14.784
And I was waiting tables and delivering newspapers in the morning and pizzas in the evening, always doing like part-time stuff to make it work while I was staying home during

Craig Salazar
01:13:14.784 --> 01:13:16.635
the day with the girls because...

Craig Salazar
01:13:16.811 --> 01:13:17.712
My first wife had that.

Craig Salazar
01:13:17.712 --> 01:13:22.506
I mean, she was making bank as a postal carrier and we had great benefits and everything.

Craig Salazar
01:13:22.506 --> 01:13:24.044
She just had to work a ton.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:13:24.044 --> 01:13:31.805
Yeah, so you did the like when she when you had the newborn were you the one getting up at night then and doing all those things?

Craig Salazar
01:13:31.805 --> 01:13:42.541
No, so like, because my oldest, she, like I said, I, when I met everybody, she was six months old.

Craig Salazar
01:13:42.602 --> 01:13:51.047
And then essentially it's like I did all of the, because Ryan was at work all the time.

Craig Salazar
01:13:51.047 --> 01:13:58.151
I mean, she would work because we, we lived in Layton and she worked in Bountiful and it was the, the

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:14:02.548 --> 01:14:03.649
Traffic.

Craig Salazar
01:14:04.029 --> 01:14:05.771
commute, right?

Craig Salazar
01:14:05.771 --> 01:14:07.412
Going back in time to this time period.

Craig Salazar
01:14:07.412 --> 01:14:07.892
It was long.

Craig Salazar
01:14:07.892 --> 01:14:09.453
So she was working all day.

Craig Salazar
01:14:09.514 --> 01:14:16.379
And um when she was home, yeah, she would, you know, take care of the kids and take care of the baby and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
01:14:16.379 --> 01:14:23.575
um what was really challenging is when she started going back to work, our second daughter, um she didn't want to take a bottle.

Craig Salazar
01:14:23.575 --> 01:14:27.468
So Ryan breastfed and pumped and we had all of this milk.

Craig Salazar
01:14:27.468 --> 01:14:30.919
And so for like an entire month, she would just be

Craig Salazar
01:14:30.919 --> 01:14:36.407
sobbing hysterically because she was so hungry and eat as soon as Ryan got home.

Craig Salazar
01:14:36.407 --> 01:14:42.485
But so it was like this horrible process of trying to eventually get her to take a bottle because we were.

Craig Salazar
01:14:42.531 --> 01:14:48.315
So, during the night, um Ryan would have to still get up and nurse through the night.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:14:49.256 --> 01:14:49.816
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:14:49.816 --> 01:14:50.697
Okay.

Craig Salazar
01:14:50.697 --> 01:14:52.979
But it's still wake up and then go to...

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:14:52.979 --> 01:14:53.979
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:14:53.979 --> 01:14:54.379
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:14:54.379 --> 01:15:03.436
So, um do you think being a stay-at-home dad gave you a new appreciation for what stay-at-home moms do?

Craig Salazar
01:15:03.671 --> 01:15:05.211
100%.

Craig Salazar
01:15:05.211 --> 01:15:06.161
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:15:06.161 --> 01:15:07.903
in what way would you say?

Craig Salazar
01:15:08.981 --> 01:15:10.111
so many different ways.

Craig Salazar
01:15:10.111 --> 01:15:20.336
um There's so many good and bad things about it, just like parenting in general, There's so many parts of it that I don't think the...

Craig Salazar
01:15:20.336 --> 01:15:26.518
If the dynamic is where there's one parent that stays home, whether it's the mother or the father and the other one is out working, right?

Craig Salazar
01:15:26.518 --> 01:15:29.479
That one that's out working really doesn't know what they're missing.

Craig Salazar
01:15:29.479 --> 01:15:33.811
It's so awesome to be there, to experience all of it.

Craig Salazar
01:15:33.811 --> 01:15:37.743
It's so awesome to be so connected to your kids that way.

Craig Salazar
01:15:38.463 --> 01:15:46.095
You know, and not only was I like stay at home dad, but it was like did all the cooking, all that like made all their birthday cakes.

Craig Salazar
01:15:46.095 --> 01:15:47.016
Like, do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
01:15:47.016 --> 01:15:51.097
Like I was that kind of dad and I loved it.

Craig Salazar
01:15:51.097 --> 01:15:51.657
I loved it.

Craig Salazar
01:15:51.657 --> 01:15:52.077
I loved it.

Craig Salazar
01:15:52.077 --> 01:15:53.087
I loved it.

Craig Salazar
01:15:53.087 --> 01:16:01.750
But I'm also, you know, like in my early 20s and suddenly I'm a stay at home dad with two kids.

Craig Salazar
01:16:01.850 --> 01:16:05.251
And there's definitely the other part of me that's like.

Craig Salazar
01:16:05.419 --> 01:16:10.121
That's not what I wanted to be doing at my life at that point, right?

Craig Salazar
01:16:10.361 --> 01:16:13.132
But I still at the same time wanted to be doing it.

Craig Salazar
01:16:13.132 --> 01:16:17.464
It just kind of happened that way where it was like, yeah, you got the better job.

Craig Salazar
01:16:17.464 --> 01:16:28.048
At the time we were both servers at Cracker Barrel and we were trying to, she was living with her cousin and I moved in with her, which meant we were all three living in this like

Craig Salazar
01:16:28.048 --> 01:16:32.230
little tiny two bedroom apartment with a uh one year old.

Craig Salazar
01:16:32.690 --> 01:16:35.171
And so we needed to get our own place.

Craig Salazar
01:16:35.357 --> 01:16:37.379
And neither one of our parents were an option.

Craig Salazar
01:16:37.379 --> 01:16:38.519
Her parents weren't an option.

Craig Salazar
01:16:38.519 --> 01:16:39.771
So we had to get a place.

Craig Salazar
01:16:39.771 --> 01:16:41.992
it just worked out to where she got the job.

Craig Salazar
01:16:41.992 --> 01:16:43.203
We were able to get the new apartment.

Craig Salazar
01:16:43.203 --> 01:16:44.234
It's like it all made sense.

Craig Salazar
01:16:44.234 --> 01:16:46.436
And in order to make it work, I'm going to stay home.

Craig Salazar
01:16:46.436 --> 01:16:47.326
That's totally fine.

Craig Salazar
01:16:47.326 --> 01:16:48.157
I'm happy to do that.

Craig Salazar
01:16:48.157 --> 01:16:49.838
And I was excited to do that.

Craig Salazar
01:16:49.838 --> 01:16:52.150
And then I would get those jobs in the evening time.

Craig Salazar
01:16:52.150 --> 01:16:57.474
And that became like an outlet for me, as well as a little bit of supplemental income.

Craig Salazar
01:16:57.474 --> 01:17:01.607
It's not that we really needed it, because she made enough money at the post office.

Craig Salazar
01:17:02.165 --> 01:17:03.496
I did that for a long, time.

Craig Salazar
01:17:03.496 --> 01:17:15.755
And then when the girls finally started going to school and um it became, you know, like I did a lot of like the field trips and I would go in and like read and do all the stuff

Craig Salazar
01:17:15.755 --> 01:17:16.606
that you do.

Craig Salazar
01:17:16.606 --> 01:17:20.168
know, those early years when they're in first and second grade and stuff like that.

Craig Salazar
01:17:20.168 --> 01:17:21.449
And that was so much fun.

Craig Salazar
01:17:21.449 --> 01:17:26.772
Like I loved being that dad sitting on the bus and going on those trips and stuff like that.

Craig Salazar
01:17:26.873 --> 01:17:28.654
That was really, really fun.

Craig Salazar
01:17:28.854 --> 01:17:30.030
But I think that's one.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:17:30.030 --> 01:17:31.350
moms towards you?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:17:31.350 --> 01:17:32.510
Was everyone really...

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:17:32.510 --> 01:17:37.490
Did they think it was so cool as well that you're a stay-at-home dad and you were at everything?

Craig Salazar
01:17:37.815 --> 01:17:39.815
Yeah, I think so.

Craig Salazar
01:17:40.395 --> 01:17:40.875
Do you know what mean?

Craig Salazar
01:17:40.875 --> 01:17:44.335
was like, it's yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:17:44.335 --> 01:17:51.575
And we, was, um, it was, mean, we lived in Layton, which is, I mean, it's much different than a small, you know, community.

Craig Salazar
01:17:51.575 --> 01:17:59.155
Like I grew up in, Grantsville, but at the same time, it's not, you know, I wasn't in downtown Salt Lake and even downtown Salt Lake isn't bad or anything like that.

Craig Salazar
01:17:59.155 --> 01:18:04.535
So it was very much this small little community of people as well there too, but it was fun.

Craig Salazar
01:18:04.535 --> 01:18:07.477
I really enjoyed that time period and it was a lot of fun.

Craig Salazar
01:18:07.477 --> 01:18:14.697
And then there was the other side of it that I wanted something more.

Craig Salazar
01:18:14.697 --> 01:18:21.708
wanted, but it's like I didn't even, you don't even know how to really express that at that stage of life.

Craig Salazar
01:18:21.708 --> 01:18:27.462
you're still a kid at that age and you're very much adulting and parenting.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:28.082 --> 01:18:29.593
For me, that would come unnatural.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:29.593 --> 01:18:34.086
Probably Nicole's the natural one in that role for us.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:34.427 --> 01:18:35.558
I would have struggled with that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:35.558 --> 01:18:39.480
But yeah, no, it's impressive that it's such a young age.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:39.480 --> 01:18:50.218
You were able to adapt to being home with the babies and raise them and and and completely, you know, just jump in.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:50.218 --> 01:18:50.828
Well,

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:50.828 --> 01:18:52.000
it sounds like that's what you do.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:52.000 --> 01:18:57.468
You know, when you are doing something, you jump full in both feet and embrace it and embrace it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:18:57.468 --> 01:19:01.593
So and then you did that until they were both in elementary school.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:19:02.896 --> 01:19:04.856
And then did you go to work?

Craig Salazar
01:19:04.856 --> 01:19:08.478
Well, I never really went to work work.

Craig Salazar
01:19:08.478 --> 01:19:10.619
It was always still just part time stuff.

Craig Salazar
01:19:10.619 --> 01:19:23.414
um And then we ended up what happened was we ended up moving back out to Grantsville because we had a nice house up in Layton, but we had dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:19:23.414 --> 01:19:29.579
got into uh Huskies and I had three Huskies and I

Craig Salazar
01:19:29.579 --> 01:19:33.681
I had a sled and would run them in the wintertime and like do the whole nine yards.

Craig Salazar
01:19:33.681 --> 01:19:36.523
So they became a big part of my life.

Craig Salazar
01:19:36.523 --> 01:19:45.118
But we lived in a, like we lived in a cul-de-sac and it was still very much like um all the animal control rules and the regulations.

Craig Salazar
01:19:45.118 --> 01:19:53.452
And we had one neighbor that was that neighbor that got pissed off when we finally brought in a third dog and called us in.

Craig Salazar
01:19:53.833 --> 01:19:57.555
And so we had this issue with animal control because of the dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:19:57.555 --> 01:20:03.608
Anyways, what ended up happening was instead of getting rid of one of my dogs, we decided to sell our house and move out to Grantsville.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:03.608 --> 01:20:07.042
That makes perfect sense to have three dogs.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:07.904 --> 01:20:10.086
And huskies aren't quiet dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:20:11.131 --> 01:20:12.622
They actually are.

Craig Salazar
01:20:12.622 --> 01:20:14.674
pretty really like they're not barky.

Craig Salazar
01:20:14.674 --> 01:20:16.095
They're not loud.

Craig Salazar
01:20:16.675 --> 01:20:18.116
They're really, really...

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:19.291 --> 01:20:19.868
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:19.868 --> 01:20:20.373
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:20.373 --> 01:20:21.594
Yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:21.594 --> 01:20:24.757
So wait, you were, uh what's it called again?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:24.757 --> 01:20:25.958
It's not sled, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:25.958 --> 01:20:27.159
Dog sledding?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:27.159 --> 01:20:28.095
What is it?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:28.095 --> 01:20:29.040
Dog sledding?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:20:29.040 --> 01:20:31.402
So em would you compete?

Craig Salazar
01:20:31.925 --> 01:20:36.538
I didn't do any real like, I just did like amateur races with them.

Craig Salazar
01:20:36.538 --> 01:20:38.560
um So we did a little bit of that.

Craig Salazar
01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:41.021
uh Mostly it was just recreational stuff.

Craig Salazar
01:20:41.021 --> 01:20:44.624
was just like, it was so much fun being out with them.

Craig Salazar
01:20:44.624 --> 01:20:46.385
there was, yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:20:46.385 --> 01:20:47.626
And there's great snow there.

Craig Salazar
01:20:47.626 --> 01:20:49.408
So in the winter time, it's easy.

Craig Salazar
01:20:49.408 --> 01:20:51.059
There was plenty of places to take them.

Craig Salazar
01:20:51.059 --> 01:20:55.542
And then like in the summertime when there's not snow, then we're out camping and hiking.

Craig Salazar
01:20:55.542 --> 01:21:00.245
And I used to have a, like a dry land scooter that was built on a

Craig Salazar
01:21:00.307 --> 01:21:05.399
stainless steel, nice titanium frame, like on a skateboard deck with big wheels and everything.

Craig Salazar
01:21:05.399 --> 01:21:09.468
And I'd hook them up to that and they'd pull me around on that when there wasn't snow and stuff.

Craig Salazar
01:21:09.489 --> 01:21:10.741
Yeah, so.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:21:10.797 --> 01:21:12.082
get into that?

Craig Salazar
01:21:12.575 --> 01:21:19.779
I was working at this Mexican restaurant and one of the guys, the main cook at the restaurant, had a couple of huskies who had puppies.

Craig Salazar
01:21:19.799 --> 01:21:21.280
And so we were over at his house.

Craig Salazar
01:21:21.280 --> 01:21:26.963
He had like the house that we would all go and drink beer after work and hang out and play pool in the garage and smoke and everything.

Craig Salazar
01:21:26.963 --> 01:21:29.124
And he just happened to have these huskies.

Craig Salazar
01:21:29.184 --> 01:21:33.631
And when they had uh puppies, I was like, my gosh, I want one of these.

Craig Salazar
01:21:33.631 --> 01:21:35.548
And he's like, yeah, dude, you can have one.

Craig Salazar
01:21:35.548 --> 01:21:39.260
And so I went over to pick one up and ended up picking up two of them.

Craig Salazar
01:21:39.260 --> 01:21:41.551
So I got a brother and a sister originally.

Craig Salazar
01:21:41.569 --> 01:21:47.064
came home with two huskies and those were, I mean, just the most incredible dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:21:47.064 --> 01:21:54.961
And shortly after that, I went back and got their uncle, because he had a bunch of dogs there and he wasn't really a good dog owner.

Craig Salazar
01:21:54.961 --> 01:21:56.533
So I went back and got their uncle.

Craig Salazar
01:21:56.533 --> 01:22:04.901
So now we had three dogs and eventually we had, you couldn't have three dogs, you can only have two dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:22:04.901 --> 01:22:07.679
But our neighbor was okay when we only had three dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:22:07.679 --> 01:22:14.121
And then I was friends with this woman who lived up in the mountains and she had a huge kennel with like 30 plus dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:22:14.121 --> 01:22:18.563
And she had a new litter of puppies and one of them needed to be socialized.

Craig Salazar
01:22:18.563 --> 01:22:23.404
Like she wanted my daughters to play with them and you know, she didn't have kids at her place.

Craig Salazar
01:22:23.404 --> 01:22:28.846
So we brought that dog down to stay with us for a while so that it could get socialized and hang out with us.

Craig Salazar
01:22:28.846 --> 01:22:31.337
And that was what the neighbor saw.

Craig Salazar
01:22:31.603 --> 01:22:37.912
okay now they're getting four dogs and that became the thing that pushed him over the edge and that's when he called and reported us.

Craig Salazar
01:22:37.912 --> 01:22:40.162
em But yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:22:40.162 --> 01:22:42.929
And so then you guys moved back to.

Craig Salazar
01:22:43.582 --> 01:22:43.796
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:22:43.796 --> 01:22:45.017
to Utah.

Craig Salazar
01:22:45.037 --> 01:22:52.043
And during this time period too, uh I'm also cheating on my first wife during that time period.

Craig Salazar
01:22:52.043 --> 01:22:57.087
And all of that eventually comes out once we move back out to Grantsville.

Craig Salazar
01:22:57.107 --> 01:22:58.889
And I continue.

Craig Salazar
01:22:58.889 --> 01:23:07.106
It's what, it doesn't matter how it originally started necessarily, but it was the thing that eventually ended our relationship.

Craig Salazar
01:23:07.106 --> 01:23:11.219
But once we moved back out to Grantsville, it

Craig Salazar
01:23:11.477 --> 01:23:20.393
because our relationship was kind of already funky because of what I was doing and because of the disconnect between the two of us and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
01:23:20.393 --> 01:23:27.847
Then moving back out to Grantsville ended up just kind of being, although on one hand it was for the dogs and it was a good thing for the dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:23:27.847 --> 01:23:32.281
The dogs got a great big backyard house with this huge six foot wooden fence.

Craig Salazar
01:23:32.281 --> 01:23:35.303
Like we got this house that was perfect for the dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:23:35.303 --> 01:23:41.374
Not so much for us, but yeah, we moved back out to Grantsville and that's when I'm

Craig Salazar
01:23:41.374 --> 01:23:42.113
Okay, go ahead.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:23:42.113 --> 01:23:42.494
I'm sorry.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:23:42.494 --> 01:23:46.414
I was going to say, was it the same woman that you were cheating?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:23:46.514 --> 01:23:51.134
Okay, so you were cheating with multiple women while you guys were married?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:23:51.814 --> 01:23:55.074
And did she know that before going out to Grantsville?

Craig Salazar
01:23:56.959 --> 01:24:03.948
No, uh whether or not she knew it, I'm sure she probably knew it, but we hadn't talked about it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:03.948 --> 01:24:06.866
Okay, so she took a leap of faith and went with you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:07.410 --> 01:24:10.041
Kind of knowing something's off.

Craig Salazar
01:24:10.041 --> 01:24:10.421
don't know.

Craig Salazar
01:24:10.421 --> 01:24:18.037
I mean, I think, you know, again, we didn't have any conversations about it until after we had moved out to Grantsville.

Craig Salazar
01:24:18.498 --> 01:24:20.791
And no, no, I did.

Craig Salazar
01:24:20.791 --> 01:24:25.203
I ended up divulging all of it and communicating all of it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:25.304 --> 01:24:29.193
Was there a reason, like what made you decide to tell her?

Craig Salazar
01:24:29.803 --> 01:24:37.066
I mean, truthfully, you know, it's the guilt and the shame of it all that eventually got to me and caught up in a sense.

Craig Salazar
01:24:37.206 --> 01:24:39.717
And that was the catalyst for it.

Craig Salazar
01:24:39.717 --> 01:24:48.511
But in some ways, too, it was just life getting to a point where things were too chaotic and too crazy, really.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:49.207 --> 01:24:52.308
Were you also cheating in Grantsville?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:53.370 --> 01:24:54.230
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:54.230 --> 01:24:57.683
So, and that's probably a much harder place to hide that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:24:57.683 --> 01:24:59.904
assume it's a smaller town, right?

Craig Salazar
01:25:00.107 --> 01:25:09.832
I mean, yes and no at this point, like it's a lot different than it was when I was growing up, even though it wasn't that much time difference, but m it was a lot different once I

Craig Salazar
01:25:09.832 --> 01:25:11.353
moved back out there.

Craig Salazar
01:25:11.433 --> 01:25:15.295
And um yeah, it wasn't a difficult thing.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:25:15.544 --> 01:25:20.800
So how long were you guys together in Grantsville before you divorced?

Craig Salazar
01:25:20.919 --> 01:25:37.579
I don't remember the whole time frame of all of it as far as like, you know, I think we moved out to Grantsville in 2007 or 2008 and then we were divorced by 2010, 2011.

Craig Salazar
01:25:38.719 --> 01:25:42.038
Altogether we were together for 10, 11 years.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:25:42.038 --> 01:25:47.785
Okay, and that's still a decent amount of time to stay together, even knowing what was going on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:25:48.158 --> 01:25:50.910
It sounds like she wanted to work it out.

Craig Salazar
01:25:51.595 --> 01:26:05.087
Yeah, was, you know, it's kind of a banana situation where uh we ended up getting divorced and then remarrying again like a year later because, yeah, yeah, trying to make it work

Craig Salazar
01:26:05.087 --> 01:26:05.887
again.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:26:06.210 --> 01:26:10.366
And then when you got divorced, did she stay in Grantsville or did she go back?

Craig Salazar
01:26:10.463 --> 01:26:11.664
No, she did.

Craig Salazar
01:26:11.664 --> 01:26:13.235
Again, she was working at the post office.

Craig Salazar
01:26:13.235 --> 01:26:14.425
She still had her same job.

Craig Salazar
01:26:14.425 --> 01:26:18.610
She was just commuting now from the other end of the valley, basically.

Craig Salazar
01:26:18.610 --> 01:26:23.073
And um when we first got divorced, she moved in with my mom.

Craig Salazar
01:26:23.073 --> 01:26:24.955
My mom lived down the street from us.

Craig Salazar
01:26:24.955 --> 01:26:33.191
um it was the, I mean, it's literally the house that I bought was, you I used to play across the street from it when I was a kid.

Craig Salazar
01:26:33.191 --> 01:26:35.583
It was a house that was right up the street from where I grew up.

Craig Salazar
01:26:35.583 --> 01:26:40.317
um so she moved down there and lived with my mom for a short time.

Craig Salazar
01:26:40.331 --> 01:26:43.593
but that wasn't a real conducive situation.

Craig Salazar
01:26:43.593 --> 01:26:45.614
So then we switched.

Craig Salazar
01:26:45.614 --> 01:26:49.236
She moved back into the house and I moved in with my mom.

Craig Salazar
01:26:49.256 --> 01:26:56.680
And then uh eventually she got a condo in Tewila the next town over.

Craig Salazar
01:26:56.680 --> 01:26:57.360
So she moved out.

Craig Salazar
01:26:57.360 --> 01:27:06.325
It's a couple of those little different moves, but throughout that time period, we're also trying to continue to like figure this out and make it work in a sense.

Craig Salazar
01:27:06.426 --> 01:27:09.074
And yeah, it was super stressful.

Craig Salazar
01:27:09.074 --> 01:27:09.694
right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:27:09.694 --> 01:27:10.794
Yeah, man.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:27:10.954 --> 01:27:12.174
What about the girls?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:27:12.174 --> 01:27:13.774
Did you guys split custody?

Craig Salazar
01:27:14.453 --> 01:27:20.868
Yeah, yeah, we would basically just swap back and forth based off of our work schedules kind of thing.

Craig Salazar
01:27:20.868 --> 01:27:29.013
And then depending upon, you know, if the, you know, the holidays and stuff like that, based off of, we would always try to share as much as we could.

Craig Salazar
01:27:29.013 --> 01:27:36.929
So there were times that we were like, if, know, we're doing Thanksgiving on a Thursday and they're doing it on a Saturday, then we both are just kind of taking turns and swap

Craig Salazar
01:27:36.929 --> 01:27:38.220
them back and forth.

Craig Salazar
01:27:38.220 --> 01:27:41.742
So I was still, the dogs were the hard part.

Craig Salazar
01:27:41.742 --> 01:27:43.763
um Bless their heart, right?

Craig Salazar
01:27:43.767 --> 01:27:49.189
um But I was still raising, you know, I was still involved.

Craig Salazar
01:27:49.189 --> 01:27:52.730
I was still with the kids half the time.

Craig Salazar
01:27:52.790 --> 01:27:55.621
you know, so it was really just kind of switching back and forth.

Craig Salazar
01:27:55.621 --> 01:27:59.533
So they basically lived with both of us and we kept them in their same school.

Craig Salazar
01:27:59.533 --> 01:28:05.122
their life didn't change as much as possible, um even though obviously it's a huge, massive change.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:05.122 --> 01:28:06.166
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:06.166 --> 01:28:08.547
And then the dogs, did they stay in the house?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:08.547 --> 01:28:10.532
then, so when you were in the house.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:10.532 --> 01:28:11.333
originally.

Craig Salazar
01:28:11.333 --> 01:28:21.931
even when I moved out of the house and she moved back into the house, um the dogs still stayed with her and stayed there at the house and everything.

Craig Salazar
01:28:21.931 --> 01:28:23.944
I mean, they were my dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:28:23.944 --> 01:28:25.344
I was the one that got them.

Craig Salazar
01:28:25.344 --> 01:28:26.446
I was the one that was into them.

Craig Salazar
01:28:26.446 --> 01:28:29.459
I was the one that was training and working with them, but they were our family dogs too.

Craig Salazar
01:28:29.459 --> 01:28:30.510
They were super sweet dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:28:30.510 --> 01:28:32.076
So she was cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:32.076 --> 01:28:33.955
she moved and got her condo?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:33.955 --> 01:28:35.681
Did you keep the dogs?

Craig Salazar
01:28:36.119 --> 01:28:39.019
No, it's a really sad, sad story.

Craig Salazar
01:28:41.019 --> 01:28:41.899
So...

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:41.899 --> 01:28:42.979
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:44.618 --> 01:28:46.484
Oh no, what happened?

Craig Salazar
01:28:46.484 --> 01:28:46.815
story.

Craig Salazar
01:28:46.815 --> 01:28:54.451
Like it's honestly one of those things that I have like a hole in my heart over because they were just incredible dogs for so many different reasons and they helped me so many

Craig Salazar
01:28:54.451 --> 01:28:56.913
ways over the time period that I have.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:56.913 --> 01:28:58.034
Like you guys are dog people.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:28:58.034 --> 01:28:59.465
It sounds like right.

Craig Salazar
01:28:59.465 --> 01:29:00.766
So I'm a dog person.

Craig Salazar
01:29:00.766 --> 01:29:08.573
I've been a dog person my whole life like and I've only had a handful of dogs throughout my life because I tend to have dogs for a really, really long time.

Craig Salazar
01:29:08.573 --> 01:29:11.584
So I had these dogs for a long time and they were really important to me.

Craig Salazar
01:29:11.584 --> 01:29:19.958
But when all of this was playing out and I was getting divorced at the same time, I was um working as a correctional officer.

Craig Salazar
01:29:19.958 --> 01:29:30.552
So I had a couple of different jobs, very similar to where I could now get quote unquote, like a career and a job because the girls were old enough and you know, we were not

Craig Salazar
01:29:30.552 --> 01:29:33.944
necessarily worried about daycare or anything like that.

Craig Salazar
01:29:34.184 --> 01:29:36.945
So I never really had a job job.

Craig Salazar
01:29:36.965 --> 01:29:41.097
I was working at like the Walmart distribution center in the warehouse and

Craig Salazar
01:29:41.429 --> 01:29:46.281
I went to work out at the magnesium plant doing stuff out there, but eventually I got the opportunity.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:29:46.281 --> 01:29:47.401
What's that?

Craig Salazar
01:29:48.382 --> 01:29:48.922
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:29:48.922 --> 01:29:49.822
Right.

Craig Salazar
01:29:49.903 --> 01:29:59.367
And, uh, I just saw an ad in the newspaper for, uh, the Salt Lake County Sheriff's Office was hiring for corrections to work on the Salt Lake County jail.

Craig Salazar
01:29:59.367 --> 01:30:06.930
So I applied for that, got in and started going through the process of going through the academy and working in the jail.

Craig Salazar
01:30:06.930 --> 01:30:09.225
And the Salt Lake County jail is the

Craig Salazar
01:30:09.225 --> 01:30:12.748
Next to the state prison, it's the biggest correctional facility in the state.

Craig Salazar
01:30:12.748 --> 01:30:15.120
So it's a huge facility.

Craig Salazar
01:30:15.120 --> 01:30:22.075
And suddenly I'm, you know, managing a housing unit with 64 prisoners and I'm one officer in that unit with them.

Craig Salazar
01:30:22.075 --> 01:30:24.457
Like it was a whole huge experience.

Craig Salazar
01:30:24.457 --> 01:30:33.785
I worked at the jail for like two and a half years and then transitioned and went out onto the road and became a police officer uh in Tooele, which is the next town over from where

Craig Salazar
01:30:33.785 --> 01:30:34.755
we lived.

Craig Salazar
01:30:34.756 --> 01:30:39.159
So all of that's happening at the same time as the divorce.

Craig Salazar
01:30:39.177 --> 01:30:42.709
slash ending of the relationship and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
01:30:42.770 --> 01:30:55.931
And the toll of all of that in conjunction with like the living, like the reality of what I was experiencing as a police officer every day, as well as like the chaos of my personal

Craig Salazar
01:30:55.931 --> 01:31:09.088
life and like I'm living at my mom's, I'm, you know, it's just all of this chaos and stress and the dogs started getting out and running around town and killing chickens and

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:31:09.088 --> 01:31:11.344
Oh, no.

Craig Salazar
01:31:11.344 --> 01:31:19.726
because I was a police officer, I had a relationship obviously with the entire law enforcement community in the valley because it's such a small valley.

Craig Salazar
01:31:19.726 --> 01:31:28.719
So the animal control officer is trying to like help me by not, know, making like I got cited for it.

Craig Salazar
01:31:28.719 --> 01:31:31.730
I had to pay restitution for like dead chickens and stuff like that.

Craig Salazar
01:31:31.730 --> 01:31:36.891
But at some point it becomes an issue if it keeps happening because

Craig Salazar
01:31:37.463 --> 01:31:44.965
uh As a police officer, there's this whole mentality of like, I mean, it's not the type of thing where like they're gonna sweep it under the rug and it's not gonna be a big deal.

Craig Salazar
01:31:44.965 --> 01:31:52.217
Like it's gonna be a bigger deal because I'm not taking care of this issue that's an issue and if it keeps happening then it goes from like a little tiny class A misdemeanor that

Craig Salazar
01:31:52.217 --> 01:31:53.257
doesn't really mean anything.

Craig Salazar
01:31:53.257 --> 01:31:59.389
It's the equivalent of a traffic ticket to suddenly now I'm getting criminally charged for something because I can't take care of my dog.

Craig Salazar
01:31:59.389 --> 01:32:05.091
So the level of stress that I was under was a lot and it broke me and it was terrible and it was hard.

Craig Salazar
01:32:05.091 --> 01:32:05.769
So.

Craig Salazar
01:32:05.769 --> 01:32:13.383
After bringing my dogs to my mom's house and building a fortress in her backyard out of kennels, like kennel paneling, right?

Craig Salazar
01:32:13.383 --> 01:32:18.485
They would rip through the kennel paneling and chew through it and get out.

Craig Salazar
01:32:18.565 --> 01:32:24.328
And so I ended up taking one of them to the Humane Society thinking that that would help.

Craig Salazar
01:32:24.328 --> 01:32:25.768
So I'd only had two left.

Craig Salazar
01:32:25.768 --> 01:32:32.351
And then when those two kept getting out, I was just at a breaking point where I had the animal control officer come and get them.

Craig Salazar
01:32:32.509 --> 01:32:35.523
and go put them down because I didn't know what else to do with them.

Craig Salazar
01:32:35.523 --> 01:32:41.429
So was a really terrible moment in my life that was just like super dark from every angle and corner.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:32:41.622 --> 01:32:46.322
sounds like, I mean, everything that could be going wrong was going wrong.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:32:46.322 --> 01:32:47.462
You had a lot on your plate.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:32:47.462 --> 01:32:48.942
It was a perfect storm.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:32:48.942 --> 01:32:53.002
And one dog requires attention, let alone three.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:32:53.022 --> 01:32:56.642
And these dogs were used to being active, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:32:57.001 --> 01:32:58.221
They're used to being outside.

Craig Salazar
01:32:58.221 --> 01:33:05.066
like my dogs, the one I had one, like I said, there was three main dogs that I had and I had a fourth dog for a while.

Craig Salazar
01:33:05.066 --> 01:33:06.927
um But she didn't work out.

Craig Salazar
01:33:06.927 --> 01:33:08.348
There was nothing wrong with her anything like that.

Craig Salazar
01:33:08.348 --> 01:33:13.732
She just wasn't the greatest dog for mushing and I was like, I was looking for mushing dogs and running dogs.

Craig Salazar
01:33:13.833 --> 01:33:22.293
But one of my dogs, the uncle that I had rescued back in the day when the other two dogs were little, he had been beaten and he was like really a

Craig Salazar
01:33:22.293 --> 01:33:25.644
Like he wasn't aggressive aggressive, but he was not a happy camp.

Craig Salazar
01:33:25.644 --> 01:33:32.067
And like he was a dog that took a lot of work and he really, really trusted me and he was like my dog.

Craig Salazar
01:33:32.267 --> 01:33:39.990
And he would break out of the house and come down the street to where I was at my mom's, even though I wasn't there because I was at work.

Craig Salazar
01:33:39.990 --> 01:33:44.392
Like he knew where I was and he was like, I got to go stay with that guy.

Craig Salazar
01:33:44.392 --> 01:33:46.093
So it was really, really hard.

Craig Salazar
01:33:46.113 --> 01:33:47.613
It was, know.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:33:48.134 --> 01:33:48.934
Well, yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:33:48.934 --> 01:33:51.055
I mean, they're wicked smart.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:33:51.179 --> 01:33:57.658
Huskies like the reason they are, you know, they're good escape artists because they're super smart.

Craig Salazar
01:33:57.658 --> 01:33:58.214
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:33:58.214 --> 01:34:01.374
One of our dogs is a shepherd and I'm smart like that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:01.374 --> 01:34:01.994
They're smart too.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:01.994 --> 01:34:04.554
And they have high anxiety, but yeah, he would do the same thing.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:04.554 --> 01:34:06.894
In fact, he's my Velcro dog.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:06.894 --> 01:34:13.414
And if he happens to get, he rarely gets up, but if he does, he just goes to the front door and sits and waits to get in because he doesn't want to leave.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:13.414 --> 01:34:14.874
He's just that bad.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:14.874 --> 01:34:24.234
But no, mean, it sounds like, so the correction officer's job, one person to 64 prisoners,

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:24.470 --> 01:34:28.268
Did you have extensive training before you were put in that situation?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:28.587 --> 01:34:31.484
How crazy would it be if it was just like a weekend, you know?

Craig Salazar
01:34:31.484 --> 01:34:34.421
No, it was an extensive training that I went through.

Craig Salazar
01:34:34.421 --> 01:34:35.468
It was like a...

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:35.468 --> 01:34:36.819
the way everything's going.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:36.819 --> 01:34:40.935
I wouldn't have been shocked if you said I went to like a Monday, Friday through Sunday training.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:34:40.935 --> 01:34:42.539
I was working on Monday.

Craig Salazar
01:34:42.539 --> 01:34:43.560
Yeah, right.

Craig Salazar
01:34:43.560 --> 01:34:46.401
No, it was a whole Academy process.

Craig Salazar
01:34:46.401 --> 01:34:47.892
So I'm trying to remember how it was.

Craig Salazar
01:34:47.892 --> 01:34:50.823
It was a couple of months of training.

Craig Salazar
01:34:51.684 --> 01:34:52.665
Essentially.

Craig Salazar
01:34:52.665 --> 01:34:52.935
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:34:52.935 --> 01:34:53.825
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:34:54.005 --> 01:34:54.326
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:34:54.326 --> 01:34:57.097
Basically there's two parts of like law enforcement.

Craig Salazar
01:34:57.097 --> 01:35:01.229
There's special functions and then there's LEO like law enforcement officer.

Craig Salazar
01:35:01.229 --> 01:35:07.273
So special functions is one portion of training and then LEO is the other portion.

Craig Salazar
01:35:07.273 --> 01:35:10.004
And if you just have this portion, then you can be a jailer.

Craig Salazar
01:35:10.004 --> 01:35:11.785
You can be a corrections officer.

Craig Salazar
01:35:11.905 --> 01:35:17.080
But then you need the LEO portion in conjunction with it if you're going to be a police officer on the road.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:35:17.080 --> 01:35:22.807
And is the LEO like double the time, like the same amount of time as the first Academy?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:35:23.870 --> 01:35:24.469
Okay.

Craig Salazar
01:35:24.469 --> 01:35:29.722
And uh so I went through the this portion of the Academy, which is all ran through the Sheriff's Department.

Craig Salazar
01:35:29.722 --> 01:35:37.166
Like they have their whole training Academy and everything's in house through there because it's a huge it's the Salt Lake County Sheriff's Department.

Craig Salazar
01:35:37.166 --> 01:35:42.479
So they cover the entire County, you know, uh so we went through a very lengthy process.

Craig Salazar
01:35:42.479 --> 01:35:47.982
Like I felt well trained for the job, even though the job was incredibly overwhelming.

Craig Salazar
01:35:47.982 --> 01:35:50.403
I had no idea that

Craig Salazar
01:35:50.911 --> 01:35:56.434
I had no perception of what jail was other than from what I had seen on movies and TV my whole life.

Craig Salazar
01:35:56.434 --> 01:36:01.335
Never been to jail, never, you know, really had any awareness of what it was.

Craig Salazar
01:36:01.376 --> 01:36:06.598
And this jail specifically, they were doing, they call it direct supervision.

Craig Salazar
01:36:06.598 --> 01:36:16.922
So the inmates are out walking around like in the main, the main area, that main housing area, your entire shift and you're the only one in the room with them.

Craig Salazar
01:36:16.963 --> 01:36:18.083
And so

Craig Salazar
01:36:18.635 --> 01:36:19.615
I had no idea of that.

Craig Salazar
01:36:19.615 --> 01:36:24.177
They take us over to the jail the first day and you walk in and you see 64 people.

Craig Salazar
01:36:24.177 --> 01:36:34.560
There's 32 cells, 16 on the bottom and 16 on top, and each one has two guys in it, And you're just like one officer to 64 people.

Craig Salazar
01:36:34.560 --> 01:36:41.802
And you go in and you push unlock and they all come out of their rooms and they watch TV and they talk on the phones and they go to the shower and whatever, right?

Craig Salazar
01:36:41.802 --> 01:36:46.793
uh But at first it was completely overwhelming.

Craig Salazar
01:36:46.837 --> 01:36:49.490
It was such a foreign environment for me.

Craig Salazar
01:36:49.490 --> 01:36:53.063
the only law enforcement officer there too.

Craig Salazar
01:36:53.224 --> 01:36:55.486
And you're not one of them.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:36:57.069 --> 01:36:57.369
Wow.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:36:57.369 --> 01:37:01.524
So ah did you create relationships with these guys?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:37:01.524 --> 01:37:06.358
were you not supposed to really talk to them and have any type?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:37:06.358 --> 01:37:08.392
Were you supposed to be hands off the whole time?

Craig Salazar
01:37:08.801 --> 01:37:15.864
You have to like the what's really important is that you always have a clear boundary of the relationship that's being built.

Craig Salazar
01:37:15.864 --> 01:37:16.634
Right.

Craig Salazar
01:37:16.634 --> 01:37:19.926
So it's never um like we're never friends.

Craig Salazar
01:37:19.926 --> 01:37:23.397
I'm not building a relationship with anybody.

Craig Salazar
01:37:23.397 --> 01:37:28.369
But at the same time, I because it's depending upon the type of officer that you are.

Craig Salazar
01:37:28.369 --> 01:37:37.613
There were some officers that very much went in there and used that um energy in that relationship building and became friends with people as a survival mechanism.

Craig Salazar
01:37:37.613 --> 01:37:38.229
Right.

Craig Salazar
01:37:38.229 --> 01:37:44.942
And those officers were the ones that they would take advantage of and do things behind their back because they knew that they could get away with it.

Craig Salazar
01:37:44.942 --> 01:37:51.584
So I wasn't doing that, but I also wasn't because there were guys that would go in there and just be like really hard asses the entire time.

Craig Salazar
01:37:51.605 --> 01:37:59.038
So I tried to find some middle ground where they knew where like my boundary was and I was respectful and I was, you know, personable with people.

Craig Salazar
01:37:59.038 --> 01:38:05.020
didn't treat them like they were less than and I didn't treat them like they were, you know, terrible people.

Craig Salazar
01:38:05.020 --> 01:38:07.191
I tried to treat them like people.

Craig Salazar
01:38:07.413 --> 01:38:09.814
but still have a boundary, so.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:38:10.038 --> 01:38:12.171
And were they like.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:38:12.171 --> 01:38:12.672
though.

Craig Salazar
01:38:12.672 --> 01:38:17.384
Like it was so hard because some of them are like really terrible people and it's really difficult.

Craig Salazar
01:38:17.384 --> 01:38:19.635
And then others of them are like my fucking buddy.

Craig Salazar
01:38:19.635 --> 01:38:22.574
Like there was so many people in there that are just the vast.

Craig Salazar
01:38:22.574 --> 01:38:24.148
I shouldn't even say the vast majority of it.

Craig Salazar
01:38:24.148 --> 01:38:25.218
All of them are just people.

Craig Salazar
01:38:25.218 --> 01:38:25.508
Right.

Craig Salazar
01:38:25.508 --> 01:38:34.153
But like they're not all what you would think are like hardened criminals and like it's just somebody that's had a bad day or a lot of people were just addicts.

Craig Salazar
01:38:34.153 --> 01:38:37.445
A lot of it was mental illness and you know.

Craig Salazar
01:38:38.726 --> 01:38:41.461
Yeah, it was hard to see.

Craig Salazar
01:38:41.461 --> 01:38:49.375
guys that were my same age that I would like very easily be friends with if we weren't in this circumstance, right?

Craig Salazar
01:38:49.375 --> 01:38:59.561
I remember there was a guy who when he came in and I started seeing him at the beginning of his stay um because he was an addict, he was in terrible shape, right?

Craig Salazar
01:38:59.561 --> 01:39:08.686
And then like three, four months, five months later, I'm in a different area of the jail and I see him again and he's a completely different person because he's stabilized on meds

Craig Salazar
01:39:08.686 --> 01:39:11.095
and he's super personable and

Craig Salazar
01:39:11.095 --> 01:39:14.670
Do you really mean it was just bananas to see that but.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:39:14.670 --> 01:39:24.490
I'm sure every day was just a psychological drain in a lot of ways because there had to have been something each day you came across that was like that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:39:25.750 --> 01:39:36.210
Whether it was a transformation or a connection or where you had empathy and seen someone's situation, I'm sure there wasn't a day that went by where you weren't affected.

Craig Salazar
01:39:36.331 --> 01:39:38.178
Yeah, there really wasn't.

Craig Salazar
01:39:38.182 --> 01:39:40.210
It was a really, really hard job.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:39:40.376 --> 01:39:45.494
hardened criminals though too, like people who had murdered people and they had them all together?

Craig Salazar
01:39:45.891 --> 01:39:49.033
So the difference between jails and prisons, right?

Craig Salazar
01:39:49.033 --> 01:39:51.475
Prison is where you go once you're sentenced.

Craig Salazar
01:39:51.475 --> 01:39:54.937
Jail is where you go waiting for sentencing.

Craig Salazar
01:39:55.117 --> 01:40:01.032
Or you've got sentenced to jail for a year or you you might get a year and a half.

Craig Salazar
01:40:01.032 --> 01:40:04.945
You would get sentenced to jail, but it would be a very short amount of time.

Craig Salazar
01:40:04.945 --> 01:40:08.661
But the vast majority of people there are waiting for sentencing.

Craig Salazar
01:40:08.661 --> 01:40:13.894
So they're in that process, that limbo period where they've been arrested, but they haven't been sentenced yet.

Craig Salazar
01:40:13.895 --> 01:40:19.999
And so we had the entire spectrum of, you know, people in there.

Craig Salazar
01:40:19.999 --> 01:40:27.684
so depending upon what housing unit you were working in, it might be minimum security and you'd have 64 prisoners out.

Craig Salazar
01:40:27.684 --> 01:40:37.651
And then if you were working the max units, maximum security, and specifically they had specific units, even within the maximum security units where you would have two officers

Craig Salazar
01:40:37.651 --> 01:40:38.731
in that.

Craig Salazar
01:40:38.743 --> 01:40:48.613
uh housing unit and you would only let out sometimes one prisoner at a time and that prisoner would be fully shackled and belly chained and handcuffed and everything like

Craig Salazar
01:40:48.613 --> 01:40:49.453
that.

Craig Salazar
01:40:51.396 --> 01:40:58.688
yeah, I worked throughout the entire gel over the course of the time that I was there, all the different housing units and areas.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:40:58.688 --> 01:41:06.883
while you're doing this and you're living with you're living it back at home with your mom, were you still trying to work on your marriage or was that done by that point?

Craig Salazar
01:41:06.883 --> 01:41:14.503
wasn't what happened was by the time I got a divorce, I was already a police officer out on the road, right?

Craig Salazar
01:41:14.603 --> 01:41:16.343
So I'm already a cop.

Craig Salazar
01:41:16.343 --> 01:41:17.463
wasn't working in the jail anymore.

Craig Salazar
01:41:17.463 --> 01:41:22.743
I did two and a half years in the jail and then was able to transition and get out onto the road and became a police officer.

Craig Salazar
01:41:22.743 --> 01:41:26.723
And altogether total, I did about eight years in law enforcement.

Craig Salazar
01:41:27.043 --> 01:41:27.919
So.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:41:28.703 --> 01:41:31.990
to leave corrections and become a police officer?

Craig Salazar
01:41:32.055 --> 01:41:42.001
uh I got into Corrections thinking that it was going to be the stepping stone to becoming a police officer because I didn't really want to go and sit at a jail.

Craig Salazar
01:41:42.001 --> 01:41:43.062
I didn't want to be inside.

Craig Salazar
01:41:43.062 --> 01:41:45.804
I didn't want to, you know, I wanted to be a cop.

Craig Salazar
01:41:45.804 --> 01:41:47.805
I wanted to be out there doing stuff.

Craig Salazar
01:41:47.805 --> 01:41:49.826
So it was the plan all along.

Craig Salazar
01:41:49.826 --> 01:41:57.451
And even though at some point I was like, well, you know, there's a, some people really like the jail environment and they like being able to like,

Craig Salazar
01:41:57.515 --> 01:42:00.970
that really jives for people, that was definitely not the case for me.

Craig Salazar
01:42:00.970 --> 01:42:05.522
So I knew that I had to get out, but it took a while, um, in order to get hired on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:42:05.522 --> 01:42:10.162
career progression you start in the jail and become the police officer?

Craig Salazar
01:42:11.046 --> 01:42:11.420
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:42:11.420 --> 01:42:12.230
it's really common.

Craig Salazar
01:42:12.230 --> 01:42:15.481
There was a lot of guys that I went through with that did the same thing.

Craig Salazar
01:42:15.602 --> 01:42:23.955
And um at the time I was trying to, so was working in Salt Lake Valley, but living out in Tooele that 45 minute commute and the shift was seven days a week.

Craig Salazar
01:42:23.955 --> 01:42:25.946
So I was in and out every day.

Craig Salazar
01:42:25.946 --> 01:42:27.387
It was really, really hard.

Craig Salazar
01:42:27.387 --> 01:42:30.048
So I wanted to work in the community that I lived in.

Craig Salazar
01:42:30.048 --> 01:42:31.948
I wanted to work out in Tooele.

Craig Salazar
01:42:32.249 --> 01:42:35.760
So I started reserving as a reserve officer for Tooele city.

Craig Salazar
01:42:35.760 --> 01:42:38.519
So that meant that I didn't get paid anything.

Craig Salazar
01:42:38.519 --> 01:42:43.680
um It was uh basically a part-time gig where I'm essentially volunteering my time.

Craig Salazar
01:42:43.680 --> 01:42:51.483
And because I didn't have both parts of the certification that was needed, I always had to have uh another person with me.

Craig Salazar
01:42:51.483 --> 01:42:58.304
So on my days off from the jail, I would go and volunteer and work at the police department.

Craig Salazar
01:42:58.304 --> 01:43:00.425
But I did that for over a year.

Craig Salazar
01:43:00.425 --> 01:43:04.026
And it got to the point where I knew who I liked working with.

Craig Salazar
01:43:04.026 --> 01:43:07.849
So whenever those shifts were working is when I would come out so I could work with...

Craig Salazar
01:43:07.849 --> 01:43:11.541
essentially the guys that I was starting to become friends with and liking.

Craig Salazar
01:43:11.662 --> 01:43:17.386
And they, like, because I had all the experience that I had, they were just like, yeah, fine, do whatever.

Craig Salazar
01:43:17.386 --> 01:43:20.028
They would just ride along with me and we'd go out and do stuff.

Craig Salazar
01:43:20.028 --> 01:43:28.974
And I got really comfortable and basically a lot of really good hands-on training with the intention of these guys are going to hire me at some point.

Craig Salazar
01:43:28.974 --> 01:43:30.655
And it kept getting longer and longer.

Craig Salazar
01:43:30.655 --> 01:43:36.239
And they had a couple of hiring, um a couple of hirings that went by and I didn't get it.

Craig Salazar
01:43:36.279 --> 01:43:39.559
And I'm just like, what is this going to take, right?

Craig Salazar
01:43:39.899 --> 01:43:46.459
So eventually they agreed to hire me and put me through the academy so that I could get the rest of the certification that I needed.

Craig Salazar
01:43:46.459 --> 01:43:50.299
And they would cover the cost of what that would entail.

Craig Salazar
01:43:50.299 --> 01:43:54.599
But they also were not hiring me as a full-time employee.

Craig Salazar
01:43:54.619 --> 01:44:05.779
So I had to quit the gel and cash out my 401 in order to basically provide and still maintain for the time period that I was going through the academy.

Craig Salazar
01:44:05.781 --> 01:44:10.534
And then they, like, if you graduate from the Academy, then we'll hire you after the fact.

Craig Salazar
01:44:10.534 --> 01:44:15.568
So there was this three month time period where I quit and we were living off of my retirement.

Craig Salazar
01:44:15.568 --> 01:44:17.579
And this was still my first marriage.

Craig Salazar
01:44:17.759 --> 01:44:28.947
And, eventually halfway through the Academy, when the Academy found out that they hadn't hired me full time, there was a insurance issue because essentially if I'm a full-time

Craig Salazar
01:44:28.947 --> 01:44:35.253
employee, then if anything happens to me, I'm covered under that insurance rather than the Academy having to.

Craig Salazar
01:44:35.253 --> 01:44:36.264
cover it.

Craig Salazar
01:44:36.325 --> 01:44:38.829
And so was a liability issue in the end.

Craig Salazar
01:44:38.829 --> 01:44:42.456
And eventually, Tooele City was like, fine, we'll hire you.

Craig Salazar
01:44:42.456 --> 01:44:44.378
So I got hired.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:44:44.378 --> 01:44:45.258
decision.

Craig Salazar
01:44:45.258 --> 01:44:45.698
Yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:44:45.698 --> 01:44:47.398
So you got the job.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:44:47.398 --> 01:44:51.338
Sorry to say you could be screwed, but I'm glad to hear that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:44:51.538 --> 01:44:53.558
So were you in a squad car?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:44:53.558 --> 01:44:55.530
Like out on, and did you have a partner?

Craig Salazar
01:44:55.530 --> 01:44:57.416
was just a regular police officer.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:44:57.686 --> 01:44:59.060
And did you have a partner?

Craig Salazar
01:44:59.411 --> 01:45:08.176
No, no, that's like only in really, really big cities do you have a partner, but yeah, you're riding around it by yourself.

Craig Salazar
01:45:08.256 --> 01:45:14.520
So I would work on a crew with, um, usually it was me and two, maybe three other guys and one sergeant.

Craig Salazar
01:45:14.520 --> 01:45:20.550
So you'd have four to five guys on a shift and we worked 12 hour shifts for the whole city.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:45:20.550 --> 01:45:22.773
How big was Tooele said?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:45:22.773 --> 01:45:23.894
How big was?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:45:25.096 --> 01:45:28.721
OK, so did you have anything exciting happen during that time?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:45:28.721 --> 01:45:32.669
oh you would you encountered all of it?

Craig Salazar
01:45:32.669 --> 01:45:33.701
All of it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:45:34.318 --> 01:45:36.425
oh And you did that for how long?

Craig Salazar
01:45:36.885 --> 01:45:42.627
I did that for just over five years and then that's what I got fired.

Craig Salazar
01:45:42.627 --> 01:45:47.678
So, like, again, like all chaos time period, right?

Craig Salazar
01:45:47.678 --> 01:45:53.119
Everything's just fucking chaos for me on top of like trying to become a police officer and figure out how to be a police officer.

Craig Salazar
01:45:53.119 --> 01:45:57.701
Um, shortly after becoming a police officer, I meet Stephanie.

Craig Salazar
01:45:57.701 --> 01:46:00.482
Stephanie is a 911 dispatcher.

Craig Salazar
01:46:00.482 --> 01:46:06.243
I'm still married to my first wife during this time period, but I meet Stephanie and

Craig Salazar
01:46:06.709 --> 01:46:08.240
just fall in love with her.

Craig Salazar
01:46:08.240 --> 01:46:16.947
And because of everything that took place with my first marriage, I was like, okay, I'm not going to go down the path that I went down before.

Craig Salazar
01:46:16.947 --> 01:46:24.112
So I'm going to end this relationship officially, like 100%, like I'm going to do the thing so that I'm not doing the thing that I used to do.

Craig Salazar
01:46:24.112 --> 01:46:32.458
And did that, ended the relationship, got divorced again after getting remarried, like a year ago, and then started dating Stephanie.

Craig Salazar
01:46:33.039 --> 01:46:33.859
And

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:46:34.233 --> 01:46:37.088
have you found the root of why you cheated?

Craig Salazar
01:46:37.355 --> 01:46:42.492
Yeah, yeah, that's the MDMA and the repressed memories.

Craig Salazar
01:46:42.492 --> 01:46:43.433
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:46:43.546 --> 01:46:49.632
oh So you met Stephanie um and how long were you guys together before you got married?

Craig Salazar
01:46:50.415 --> 01:46:51.142
We met.

Craig Salazar
01:46:51.142 --> 01:46:52.495
um

Craig Salazar
01:46:54.433 --> 01:46:55.984
Gosh, what year was it?

Craig Salazar
01:46:56.044 --> 01:46:57.865
We met in 2012.

Craig Salazar
01:46:57.865 --> 01:47:03.968
No, we met in 2011 and then we started dating in 2012 after it she was also married at the time.

Craig Salazar
01:47:03.968 --> 01:47:08.351
So after both of our relations, both of our marriages ended, then we started dating.

Craig Salazar
01:47:08.351 --> 01:47:17.336
But we were totally flirting and dating and talking, not dating, but communicating and like connecting during that time period as both of those relationships were coming to an

Craig Salazar
01:47:17.336 --> 01:47:18.116
end.

Craig Salazar
01:47:18.116 --> 01:47:22.479
And then we start uh living together at the time.

Craig Salazar
01:47:22.479 --> 01:47:23.019
m

Craig Salazar
01:47:23.019 --> 01:47:25.671
Like I've got my MO is like, Hey, do you have a car and a house?

Craig Salazar
01:47:25.671 --> 01:47:25.912
Cool.

Craig Salazar
01:47:25.912 --> 01:47:26.592
I want to date you.

Craig Salazar
01:47:26.592 --> 01:47:32.908
So, so I'm essentially living with stiff Stephanie, right?

Craig Salazar
01:47:32.908 --> 01:47:37.382
I'm living at my mom's because I'm and Ryan still has the house.

Craig Salazar
01:47:37.382 --> 01:47:44.758
I'm living at my mom's, but really I'm just staying at Stephanie's and start essentially just living there.

Craig Salazar
01:47:44.898 --> 01:47:47.190
And we decided to move in together.

Craig Salazar
01:47:47.190 --> 01:47:50.519
So we bought a house together in Grantsville in

Craig Salazar
01:47:50.519 --> 01:47:53.922
2014, I think it was, and then we got married in 2015.

Craig Salazar
01:47:53.922 --> 01:47:58.957
So we were together for a few years and living together and totally blended our families together.

Craig Salazar
01:47:58.957 --> 01:48:00.559
She's got two kids.

Craig Salazar
01:48:00.559 --> 01:48:01.330
I had two kids.

Craig Salazar
01:48:01.330 --> 01:48:06.978
We came together and blended our family and moved in together in this cute little house in Grantsville.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:48:06.978 --> 01:48:09.033
Now is she from that area as well?

Craig Salazar
01:48:09.163 --> 01:48:17.168
Yeah, she grew up in an even smaller town uh that was like in the middle of nowhere up above the mountain range that I lived just below.

Craig Salazar
01:48:17.168 --> 01:48:20.010
But she grew up in the same area, the same county.

Craig Salazar
01:48:20.010 --> 01:48:22.841
She went to, we never ran into each other.

Craig Salazar
01:48:22.841 --> 01:48:33.678
No, we joke about, we think that there was definitely, because we've put together some pieces, there was a time period before I was a cop and before I was a corrections officer,

Craig Salazar
01:48:33.818 --> 01:48:35.779
during the time period where I was.

Craig Salazar
01:48:36.149 --> 01:48:38.370
divorced before I had gotten remarried again.

Craig Salazar
01:48:38.370 --> 01:48:48.457
So it was like almost like a rum spring a time period where I was working as a bartender and doing all sorts of crazy things that I never really got the opportunity to do before

Craig Salazar
01:48:48.457 --> 01:48:49.408
ever in my life.

Craig Salazar
01:48:49.408 --> 01:48:56.092
And probably there was a night there where Steph was at the bar and hanging out because it was the only cool bar in town.

Craig Salazar
01:48:56.092 --> 01:49:01.036
she probably we probably crossed paths a couple of times, but we don't have any memory of it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:49:01.036 --> 01:49:03.597
And then is she, is her family Mormon?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:49:03.597 --> 01:49:05.351
Does she come from that background?

Craig Salazar
01:49:05.351 --> 01:49:06.892
No, well, yes, she does.

Craig Salazar
01:49:06.892 --> 01:49:14.856
Her grandparents and her family is, but she wasn't raised in it.

Craig Salazar
01:49:16.778 --> 01:49:17.498
Kind of.

Craig Salazar
01:49:17.498 --> 01:49:18.629
But we went to church.

Craig Salazar
01:49:18.629 --> 01:49:20.880
I was baptized and raised.

Craig Salazar
01:49:20.880 --> 01:49:26.364
we were Jack Mormons, is what they're called, because we would only go to church on Sunday.

Craig Salazar
01:49:26.364 --> 01:49:27.724
We're not doing anything else.

Craig Salazar
01:49:27.724 --> 01:49:32.277
em But Stephanie wasn't really raised in the church.

Craig Salazar
01:49:32.299 --> 01:49:33.321
She wasn't baptized.

Craig Salazar
01:49:33.321 --> 01:49:39.524
Her mom used to drop her off at the Mormon church and leave because her mom wasn't gonna go back.

Craig Salazar
01:49:39.524 --> 01:49:42.307
But if she wanted to go, I'll drop you off.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:49:42.307 --> 01:49:47.618
And then her two children, are they close in age with yours?

Craig Salazar
01:49:47.927 --> 01:49:56.767
Yeah, so our oldest daughter, which is my oldest daughter, she's 26 and then the two daughters, Steph's daughter.

Craig Salazar
01:49:56.767 --> 01:49:59.767
this I hate talking about because they're just my kids.

Craig Salazar
01:49:59.767 --> 01:50:00.487
They're all my kids.

Craig Salazar
01:50:00.487 --> 01:50:01.787
I've adopted.

Craig Salazar
01:50:01.967 --> 01:50:04.387
I've adopted Asher.

Craig Salazar
01:50:04.447 --> 01:50:10.527
Yeah, they're all my kids, but two of them are the same age.

Craig Salazar
01:50:10.587 --> 01:50:11.687
So we've got two daughters.

Craig Salazar
01:50:11.687 --> 01:50:13.507
Yeah, we've got two daughters that are the same age.

Craig Salazar
01:50:13.507 --> 01:50:15.707
They were both both born in 2002.

Craig Salazar
01:50:16.437 --> 01:50:21.384
So that was really fun for a while where they were the same age and yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:50:21.384 --> 01:50:22.235
awesome.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:50:22.235 --> 01:50:31.102
Because sometimes when that happens, when a family's blended, like the one person's kids might be like seven years older, you know, and it's awkward, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:50:31.102 --> 01:50:40.351
But her two, which are your two now, but at the time her two were close, close age, so it was probably cool for them to hang out and play and stuff, right?

Craig Salazar
01:50:40.351 --> 01:50:41.052
It totally was.

Craig Salazar
01:50:41.052 --> 01:50:46.536
Yeah, there was definitely a nice little, almost like a honeymoon period of that relationship as well.

Craig Salazar
01:50:46.536 --> 01:50:53.881
Like where the kids all kind of like got together and played together and we had fun and it was nice and everything was good.

Craig Salazar
01:50:53.901 --> 01:50:56.612
then life changes, of course, and things go in different directions.

Craig Salazar
01:50:56.612 --> 01:51:00.966
But um yeah, so three girls and then a boy.

Craig Salazar
01:51:00.966 --> 01:51:07.611
And all the girls are adults and our oldest is married and they're in relationships and living on their own.

Craig Salazar
01:51:07.947 --> 01:51:09.054
all doing really, really good.

Craig Salazar
01:51:09.054 --> 01:51:12.129
And then we've still got our 19 year old son living with this.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:51:12.302 --> 01:51:15.982
OK, so then so you guys get married in 2015.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:51:16.782 --> 01:51:16.983
She's.

Craig Salazar
01:51:16.983 --> 01:51:19.515
right after I get so she's a 911 dispatcher.

Craig Salazar
01:51:19.515 --> 01:51:21.446
So she's the one that I'm talking to on the radio.

Craig Salazar
01:51:21.446 --> 01:51:23.347
So we basically work together.

Craig Salazar
01:51:23.848 --> 01:51:27.551
And I got fired right after we got married.

Craig Salazar
01:51:27.551 --> 01:51:29.271
went on our honeymoon.

Craig Salazar
01:51:29.412 --> 01:51:33.453
And when I got back from my honeymoon, they put me on administrative leave.

Craig Salazar
01:51:33.575 --> 01:51:36.096
And go ahead.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:51:37.458 --> 01:51:38.398
Right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:51:38.398 --> 01:51:39.699
Why did you get fired?

Craig Salazar
01:51:39.699 --> 01:51:43.032
Yeah, it's it's not really a good when I say it's not a good story.

Craig Salazar
01:51:43.032 --> 01:51:43.902
It's not a cool story.

Craig Salazar
01:51:43.902 --> 01:51:45.483
It's just kind of like

Craig Salazar
01:51:46.775 --> 01:52:02.368
Big overarching reasons why I got fired was because the truth of it was the amount of emotional pain and um trauma and difficulty that I had experienced in such a short amount

Craig Salazar
01:52:02.368 --> 01:52:05.570
of time at this job really, really fucked me up.

Craig Salazar
01:52:05.671 --> 01:52:10.155
And it was massively impacting how I was showing up and interacting with people.

Craig Salazar
01:52:10.155 --> 01:52:15.809
I was always the type of person, again, the same thing that I had as far as like when I was a corrections officer, like

Craig Salazar
01:52:15.809 --> 01:52:19.782
I'm seeing everybody as a person, but I have a very clear boundary line.

Craig Salazar
01:52:19.782 --> 01:52:27.238
And it's like, as soon as you cross that boundary, you know, then you're in handcuffs and then you're going to go to jail and there's going to be consequences and all those kinds

Craig Salazar
01:52:27.238 --> 01:52:27.649
of things.

Craig Salazar
01:52:27.649 --> 01:52:36.915
So I wasn't a shitty cop in the sense of like um an asshole, but I also was very straightforward and very um direct about things.

Craig Salazar
01:52:36.916 --> 01:52:39.538
And I also tended to deal with more of the...

Craig Salazar
01:52:39.538 --> 01:52:41.359
um

Craig Salazar
01:52:41.405 --> 01:52:43.156
drug side of the experience.

Craig Salazar
01:52:43.156 --> 01:52:48.758
We had a lot of drugs in this city and it was a huge issue in all different aspects.

Craig Salazar
01:52:48.758 --> 01:52:51.879
It was also that was where that's the criminal elements.

Craig Salazar
01:52:51.879 --> 01:52:53.420
So that's where all the fun stuff is.

Craig Salazar
01:52:53.420 --> 01:52:59.352
That's where we're chasing people and there's foot pursuits and vehicle pursuits and all sorts of fun, exciting things.

Craig Salazar
01:52:59.352 --> 01:53:07.596
So that tended to be where I aimed and focused on a lot of things because not only was it a huge, a massive amount of adrenaline rush, but it was also a way that it felt like I was

Craig Salazar
01:53:07.596 --> 01:53:09.767
serving and helping and doing something.

Craig Salazar
01:53:09.887 --> 01:53:10.677
And

Craig Salazar
01:53:11.615 --> 01:53:13.296
It's all just a big game in the end.

Craig Salazar
01:53:13.296 --> 01:53:15.687
Like the criminal element knows that they're playing a game.

Craig Salazar
01:53:15.687 --> 01:53:20.640
We know that we're playing a game and it's just a game where they know what they can do and what we can't do and vice versa.

Craig Salazar
01:53:20.640 --> 01:53:25.372
So we play a game and part of that game is they bitch and moan and complain because I'm harassing them.

Craig Salazar
01:53:25.372 --> 01:53:26.483
And I'm like, I'm not harassing you.

Craig Salazar
01:53:26.483 --> 01:53:28.644
I'm just following you because you're selling drugs.

Craig Salazar
01:53:28.704 --> 01:53:34.687
Anyways, I eventually got written up so many times for things that weren't even things.

Craig Salazar
01:53:34.687 --> 01:53:38.820
were like, literally people would come in and say that I swore at them when I arrested them.

Craig Salazar
01:53:38.820 --> 01:53:41.717
And then I would get disciplined for swearing at people.

Craig Salazar
01:53:41.717 --> 01:53:44.128
and told that I shouldn't be swearing at people.

Craig Salazar
01:53:44.188 --> 01:53:53.110
Very confusing mindset if you think about law enforcement from like what we think of law enforcement to be like, but this is a small Mormon community and the chief of police was,

Craig Salazar
01:53:53.110 --> 01:53:56.651
um came from a different mindset in policing.

Craig Salazar
01:53:56.651 --> 01:54:09.795
So I got written up a bunch for dumb shit and eventually there was something that they were able to use and write me up to the spot where now I um had so many disciplinary

Craig Salazar
01:54:09.795 --> 01:54:11.395
actions that they could.

Craig Salazar
01:54:11.619 --> 01:54:14.000
basically fire me at this point.

Craig Salazar
01:54:14.121 --> 01:54:23.988
And what had happened, like I said, the toll of the job was so drastic and so severe that it was just like, um it was just terrible.

Craig Salazar
01:54:23.988 --> 01:54:25.619
It just really destroyed me.

Craig Salazar
01:54:25.619 --> 01:54:29.731
I'm an incredibly like empathic, loving, kind person.

Craig Salazar
01:54:29.892 --> 01:54:39.638
And there's such a level of like death that you experience as a police officer because every time there's somebody dies, police officers are typically, and I shouldn't say

Craig Salazar
01:54:39.638 --> 01:54:40.439
typically, they

Craig Salazar
01:54:40.439 --> 01:54:46.322
90 % of the time they are unless by any, you know, if it's like clearly in hospice kind of situation.

Craig Salazar
01:54:46.322 --> 01:54:53.946
But other than that, you're showing up on every dead body and there's a lot of people that die all the time.

Craig Salazar
01:54:53.946 --> 01:55:00.410
So I happened to go to a lot of those calls and some of those calls were really, really tragic and really, really terrible.

Craig Salazar
01:55:00.410 --> 01:55:06.193
And the worst ones are the ones when they're involving kids and there was a lot of those calls that I had to go through and experience.

Craig Salazar
01:55:06.193 --> 01:55:09.993
So that weighed super heavily on me mentally and emotionally.

Craig Salazar
01:55:09.993 --> 01:55:14.666
on top of like the anxiety and the adrenaline and the pressure and the stress.

Craig Salazar
01:55:14.666 --> 01:55:24.893
mean, it's an incredibly insane job uh that should be treated very, very, very differently in this country where like police officers shouldn't work for 20 years as a police

Craig Salazar
01:55:24.893 --> 01:55:25.434
officer.

Craig Salazar
01:55:25.434 --> 01:55:33.619
should be like a very short amount of time where you work one day as a police officer and then you have like two days off and then you work one more day as a police officer and

Craig Salazar
01:55:33.619 --> 01:55:37.162
then you have like two days off and the recovery time and all those kinds of things.

Craig Salazar
01:55:37.162 --> 01:55:39.647
So it fucked me up.

Craig Salazar
01:55:39.647 --> 01:55:46.192
And in one way, that's what really led to me getting fired because I just kind of like stopped fighting.

Craig Salazar
01:55:46.273 --> 01:55:47.484
They gave me the option.

Craig Salazar
01:55:47.484 --> 01:55:53.878
They're like, they sent me away to a psychiatrist to see if I was fit for duty anymore.

Craig Salazar
01:55:53.999 --> 01:56:01.925
And instead of like going through the game of lying to the psychiatrist about things, I just like told him what was going on and explained to him everything.

Craig Salazar
01:56:01.946 --> 01:56:05.048
And then they deemed that I wasn't fit for duty anymore.

Craig Salazar
01:56:05.309 --> 01:56:08.501
And at that point they had enough to fire me for it.

Craig Salazar
01:56:08.501 --> 01:56:12.412
And there were other agencies that like wanted me to go work for them and stuff.

Craig Salazar
01:56:12.592 --> 01:56:22.155
I, once it happened and I was essentially, once I knew that it was something that was going to go away, I didn't want to pick it back up again.

Craig Salazar
01:56:23.135 --> 01:56:23.595
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:56:23.595 --> 01:56:23.975
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:56:23.975 --> 01:56:25.456
was really deep down inside.

Craig Salazar
01:56:25.456 --> 01:56:30.697
I was really, really grateful because it was, it probably would have been the thing that would have killed me.

Craig Salazar
01:56:30.697 --> 01:56:35.128
Cause I was like all in, I was like a hundred percent like I was on the SWAT team.

Craig Salazar
01:56:35.128 --> 01:56:36.429
I was so passionate about it.

Craig Salazar
01:56:36.429 --> 01:56:37.227
had a uh

Craig Salazar
01:56:37.227 --> 01:56:44.187
Like the path that was laid out before me, was very much like, this was my gig and this is what I was going to be and this is what I was going to retire as.

Craig Salazar
01:56:44.187 --> 01:56:47.841
like, I was a hundred percent cop all the time.

Craig Salazar
01:56:48.142 --> 01:56:48.722
And then.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:56:48.722 --> 01:56:52.001
sounds like you don't compartmentalize things.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:56:52.001 --> 01:57:01.942
You feel them when they're happening and your nervous system reacts to it and physiologically, psychologically, emotionally, everything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:57:03.042 --> 01:57:14.422
And I think for cops that do this, they must compartmentalize everything in order to continue and almost become where they don't feel anything because they have to to survive.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:57:14.422 --> 01:57:16.622
Is that a correct assumption?

Craig Salazar
01:57:16.895 --> 01:57:17.676
Absolutely.

Craig Salazar
01:57:17.676 --> 01:57:23.281
mean, it's very much that's why, you know, there's such a disconnect.

Craig Salazar
01:57:23.281 --> 01:57:29.627
Police officers have a very, um you know, we're acting and behaving one way with each other.

Craig Salazar
01:57:29.627 --> 01:57:39.496
And then when we turn around and face public and society, it's very much this affective way of connecting with everybody else because you're on the other side of this wall.

Craig Salazar
01:57:39.496 --> 01:57:42.933
And that other side of that wall is the wall that...

Craig Salazar
01:57:42.933 --> 01:57:46.574
you know, we distance ourselves from in order to protect ourselves from it.

Craig Salazar
01:57:46.574 --> 01:57:57.417
And yeah, the compartmentalization is insane because you literally go from like your worst, like the worst experience that you've ever experienced before or had to witness or

Craig Salazar
01:57:57.417 --> 01:58:09.751
just be like in and then just go make a routine traffic stop for somebody that runs a stop sign or go talk to somebody about their neighbor's barking dog or do you mean the swing

Craig Salazar
01:58:09.751 --> 01:58:11.499
back and forth between?

Craig Salazar
01:58:11.499 --> 01:58:20.514
Like talk about nervous system, you you're going from adrenaline insane dumps to like devastation and then having to pretend like everything's fine.

Craig Salazar
01:58:20.514 --> 01:58:25.132
And then when somebody yells at you, you're just supposed to smile and be like, it's all good.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:58:25.132 --> 01:58:37.140
Yeah, yeah, the disassociation that you have to be, you know, and then if then if you do that long enough, it's learning how to um flip the switch back on within relationships and

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:58:37.140 --> 01:58:41.053
your personal relationships with your children, with your spouse.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:58:41.854 --> 01:58:48.602
I think a lot of times those relationships fall apart because you can't you can't jump, tap back in.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:58:49.179 --> 01:58:50.159
You know.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:58:50.740 --> 01:58:54.101
Yeah, so so it was a blessing for you.

Craig Salazar
01:58:54.101 --> 01:58:55.112
Very much so.

Craig Salazar
01:58:55.112 --> 01:58:56.732
Yes, such a huge blessing.

Craig Salazar
01:58:56.732 --> 01:59:05.837
there's, you know, looking back, it's the same thing where I can see it now for the real gift that it was and how it very much would have led to the end of our relationship as

Craig Salazar
01:59:05.837 --> 01:59:09.709
well as potentially like, because it was dark, it was really, really dark for me.

Craig Salazar
01:59:09.709 --> 01:59:10.648
It was hard.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:59:10.648 --> 01:59:11.549
I have a question on that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:59:11.549 --> 01:59:19.614
So the timing of that and the being in small town Utah, I bet the opioid crisis was alive and well, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:59:19.614 --> 01:59:23.107
We call it in Joe Public, the opioid crisis.

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:59:23.107 --> 01:59:33.595
What you're describing is that front row seat taking action that none of us really have any insight into, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:59:33.595 --> 01:59:35.176
Was that kind of going on then?

GenX Adulting Podcast
01:59:35.176 --> 01:59:37.457
Is that what you're describing?

Craig Salazar
01:59:37.523 --> 01:59:38.683
Yeah, 100%.

Craig Salazar
01:59:38.683 --> 01:59:44.283
Like this is like 2011, 2010.

Craig Salazar
01:59:44.463 --> 01:59:46.537
I'm trying to remember exactly when I started.

Craig Salazar
01:59:46.537 --> 01:59:52.470
It was before it was acknowledged that there's a fucking problem in this country with opioids.

Craig Salazar
01:59:53.313 --> 01:59:54.374
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:59:54.897 --> 01:59:55.539
Yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
01:59:55.539 --> 01:59:57.891
then meth was getting really, really big.

Craig Salazar
01:59:57.891 --> 01:59:59.912
And that's the time frame.

Craig Salazar
01:59:59.912 --> 02:00:03.554
uh And also it started transitioning from meth to heroin.

Craig Salazar
02:00:03.554 --> 02:00:08.627
Like we started seeing the people that were, you know, it used to be meth.

Craig Salazar
02:00:08.627 --> 02:00:10.778
Now we were seeing heroin more and more.

Craig Salazar
02:00:10.778 --> 02:00:19.777
And so the level and the truth of it is, is it's like people are really oblivious to how much that

Craig Salazar
02:00:19.777 --> 02:00:24.651
drug culture exists in all of society and all communities.

Craig Salazar
02:00:24.651 --> 02:00:33.618
Like, even though Tooele was, you know, 45,000 people and, you know, you would expect it to be there and it very much was there, it was in all communities.

Craig Salazar
02:00:33.618 --> 02:00:34.779
It was in Grantsville.

Craig Salazar
02:00:34.779 --> 02:00:36.830
It was, it's very, very prevalent.

Craig Salazar
02:00:36.830 --> 02:00:43.055
And it's, you know, what was so sad too was I started to see things so vastly different.

Craig Salazar
02:00:43.055 --> 02:00:44.166
And this happened in the jail.

Craig Salazar
02:00:44.166 --> 02:00:45.483
was kind of the thing where...

Craig Salazar
02:00:45.483 --> 02:00:52.835
I would see these people change and because I was interacting with them so much on a daily basis, I was seeing them so completely different.

Craig Salazar
02:00:52.835 --> 02:00:54.826
I wasn't seeing them as a prisoner.

Craig Salazar
02:00:54.826 --> 02:00:56.516
I wasn't seeing them as a bad guy.

Craig Salazar
02:00:56.516 --> 02:01:04.909
wasn't seeing, know, during the academy, they very much train you and program you to see them as the prisoner.

Craig Salazar
02:01:04.909 --> 02:01:06.049
That's a prisoner.

Craig Salazar
02:01:06.049 --> 02:01:07.260
You're the officer.

Craig Salazar
02:01:07.260 --> 02:01:11.809
It's this clear delineation so that we don't have any blurred lines and boundaries.

Craig Salazar
02:01:11.809 --> 02:01:16.101
but it sets up such a shitty dichotomy just for human relationships, right?

Craig Salazar
02:01:16.101 --> 02:01:20.943
And so I couldn't help but see these people as just people, because that's what they are.

Craig Salazar
02:01:20.943 --> 02:01:28.526
And I would have some really heartbreaking conversations with people sometimes in the middle of the night as I'm walking around.

Craig Salazar
02:01:28.526 --> 02:01:32.328
Everybody's in their cell and I'm doing my last little tour before I leave, right?

Craig Salazar
02:01:32.468 --> 02:01:38.150
And having some real personal conversations where they just stopped me and they needed somebody to talk to.

Craig Salazar
02:01:38.170 --> 02:01:39.775
And I'm just listening.

Craig Salazar
02:01:39.775 --> 02:01:44.758
in hearing like how terribly tragic their life has been and what's led them up to this spot, right?

Craig Salazar
02:01:44.758 --> 02:01:46.699
Just horrible stories.

Craig Salazar
02:01:46.800 --> 02:01:56.376
And I had an aunt, she's still my aunt, I was going say, I had an aunt growing up, she's still my aunt today, but um she was bipolar.

Craig Salazar
02:01:56.376 --> 02:01:59.658
And I got to witness firsthand, we grew up next door to them.

Craig Salazar
02:01:59.658 --> 02:02:07.924
So I lived right next door to my aunt, my uncle, and my, I have a cousin, two cousins, uh brother and a sister essentially is what they are, because we're so close in age, we grew

Craig Salazar
02:02:07.924 --> 02:02:08.855
up together.

Craig Salazar
02:02:08.855 --> 02:02:09.503
But

Craig Salazar
02:02:09.503 --> 02:02:20.176
Because I got to watch my aunt navigate her mental illness over the course of my childhood, I had uh compassion for mental illness because I saw it firsthand and could see

Craig Salazar
02:02:20.176 --> 02:02:27.548
how people would go from, you know, in a manic state what that actually looks like and what happens in that state.

Craig Salazar
02:02:27.768 --> 02:02:34.110
And one of the things that was really beneficial for me as well at the jail was really good mental health training.

Craig Salazar
02:02:34.110 --> 02:02:36.651
There was a program that wasn't built in, it wasn't

Craig Salazar
02:02:36.651 --> 02:02:41.894
given it was an extra additive kind of like extracurricular activity almost right.

Craig Salazar
02:02:41.894 --> 02:02:51.911
You had this extra training that you could go take and it was a week long um training centered around mental health and learning how to basically essentially be a police

Craig Salazar
02:02:51.911 --> 02:02:59.425
officer where that's your forefront of thinking where you're seeing everything through the lens of mental health and interacting with people through that lens.

Craig Salazar
02:02:59.425 --> 02:03:02.697
Like during the training we went to the state hospital and

Craig Salazar
02:03:02.785 --> 02:03:11.281
got to sit with people and hear stories and talk to people and learn things and tons of information about just mental health and what's taking place.

Craig Salazar
02:03:11.281 --> 02:03:19.847
And I started to see how prevalent it was with everybody, not just the people that were in prison that I was dealing with as prisoners, but all of us.

Craig Salazar
02:03:19.847 --> 02:03:21.758
So it really started to open up my eyes.

Craig Salazar
02:03:21.758 --> 02:03:32.203
And then when I went on the road, even more so, right, because now I'm getting an even bigger scope of public and seeing behind the scenes of everybody's lives where

Craig Salazar
02:03:32.203 --> 02:03:38.225
We all present something outwards, but then as soon as we go into our house, it's a completely different world.

Craig Salazar
02:03:38.225 --> 02:03:44.888
And as a police officer, you see everybody in their most intimate moments because of what happens, right?

Craig Salazar
02:03:44.888 --> 02:03:46.629
And everybody's fucked up.

Craig Salazar
02:03:46.629 --> 02:03:48.810
And I mean that like in the most loving way.

Craig Salazar
02:03:48.810 --> 02:03:56.353
There's nobody out there, no level of society or culture from the bottom to the top that isn't struggling.

Craig Salazar
02:03:56.473 --> 02:04:02.017
And so how can I go and arrest the person that's got meth in their pocket?

Craig Salazar
02:04:02.017 --> 02:04:09.933
who is 100 % struggling emotionally, mental health, maybe schizophrenic, all of these issues, right?

Craig Salazar
02:04:09.933 --> 02:04:12.376
I've arrested guys that I grew up with.

Craig Salazar
02:04:12.376 --> 02:04:22.305
Like, it's so hard to see that and not only not be affected by it, but also see how, again, that game is so asinine.

Craig Salazar
02:04:22.305 --> 02:04:23.827
I wasn't doing anything.

Craig Salazar
02:04:23.827 --> 02:04:25.648
I wasn't benefiting anybody.

Craig Salazar
02:04:25.648 --> 02:04:28.781
The people that I was trying to protect, what's that?

Craig Salazar
02:04:28.781 --> 02:04:40.054
is benefiting because it is, as much as they're incarcerated and we'd like to think of them as criminals, they are victims of an addiction and a society that's allowed this shit

Craig Salazar
02:04:40.054 --> 02:04:41.415
to seep in.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:04:41.415 --> 02:04:51.838
I'm not claiming to have any answers for it, but I think incarceration and what you're kind of that mental health training you got versus how you show up in the jail and treat

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:04:51.838 --> 02:04:53.568
people that have to be in.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:04:53.582 --> 02:04:55.783
pretty almost direct conflict, seems like.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:04:55.783 --> 02:05:04.427
One's compassionate and understanding, the other is let's keep our boundaries and we're not buddies and get your ass back in your cell.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:05:04.688 --> 02:05:07.429
It's gotta be, I mean, I can relate.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:05:07.429 --> 02:05:10.370
Not that I can relate, but I don't think I can handle that either.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:05:10.370 --> 02:05:16.233
Eventually, just would, you either die inside, I think, or you get the hell out of it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:05:16.733 --> 02:05:18.295
Sounds like you got out.

Craig Salazar
02:05:18.295 --> 02:05:27.918
Yeah, that's what it really felt like too, where like the part of me, I could feel that part of me that was going cold and dying inside.

Craig Salazar
02:05:27.918 --> 02:05:35.590
I remember we were, there was a New Year's Eve and um there were way more people that were on shift because it was New Year's Eve.

Craig Salazar
02:05:35.590 --> 02:05:42.462
So even some of like the detectives that wouldn't necessarily be out working at 10 o'clock at night, everybody was on shift because it was supposed to be busy, right?

Craig Salazar
02:05:42.462 --> 02:05:43.292
It wasn't busy.

Craig Salazar
02:05:43.292 --> 02:05:44.373
It was super slow.

Craig Salazar
02:05:44.373 --> 02:05:45.857
Nothing was happening.

Craig Salazar
02:05:45.857 --> 02:05:47.929
And we were like, this is oddly strange.

Craig Salazar
02:05:47.929 --> 02:05:55.734
And there's definitely that thing where it's like, don't anybody say that it's slow because you're fucking yourself like we're cursing everything.

Craig Salazar
02:05:55.734 --> 02:06:01.777
And literally at the stroke of midnight, like it just started popping off and things got really, really crazy right at midnight.

Craig Salazar
02:06:01.777 --> 02:06:08.683
But the very first thing that happened was some guy steps out of his trailer and shoots himself right in his head, just kills himself right in front of his girlfriend.

Craig Salazar
02:06:08.683 --> 02:06:11.075
So we show up on scene and we're all standing there.

Craig Salazar
02:06:11.075 --> 02:06:14.259
And because there's so many of us, it's legitimately like a group of us.

Craig Salazar
02:06:14.259 --> 02:06:24.313
standing around this guy who just did this thing, who obviously was not just having a bad day, but having the worst day of his life to get to the spot where this is what's

Craig Salazar
02:06:24.313 --> 02:06:31.246
happening for him in conjunction with his girlfriend who just witnessed the experience, who's having the worst day of her life.

Craig Salazar
02:06:31.246 --> 02:06:36.629
And we're out there bullshitting and making fun of the experience.

Craig Salazar
02:06:36.629 --> 02:06:42.071
I don't want to say cracking jokes at the person per se, because it wasn't that it was joking about the

Craig Salazar
02:06:42.185 --> 02:06:44.146
It was just like, it was so sad for me.

Craig Salazar
02:06:44.146 --> 02:06:48.997
I was split in that moment of seeing like, where's the humanity that exists?

Craig Salazar
02:06:48.997 --> 02:06:50.457
Because they're all great people.

Craig Salazar
02:06:50.457 --> 02:06:59.900
That was what was really sad too, these men and women that I worked with, like love them to death and I see them from, you know, I feel like I know them really, really well.

Craig Salazar
02:06:59.900 --> 02:07:03.031
And then at the same time, why are we behaving like this?

Craig Salazar
02:07:03.031 --> 02:07:04.161
This is terrible.

Craig Salazar
02:07:04.161 --> 02:07:10.343
And then eventually at some point I started to shift and change that up with what I could control.

Craig Salazar
02:07:10.343 --> 02:07:12.373
Like there were a lot of times where

Craig Salazar
02:07:12.573 --> 02:07:19.409
I stopped arresting people for the bag of dope that they had because I don't care to arrest you for the bag of dope.

Craig Salazar
02:07:19.409 --> 02:07:22.042
Like, you know, you're struggling in life.

Craig Salazar
02:07:22.042 --> 02:07:28.097
Like, let me help you with what I'm able to help you with and still maintain my job.

Craig Salazar
02:07:28.118 --> 02:07:30.198
So it was really, really hard for me.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:07:30.198 --> 02:07:31.318
you would do that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:07:31.318 --> 02:07:32.679
Would you get in trouble?

Craig Salazar
02:07:32.679 --> 02:07:42.016
get in trouble for doing stuff like that because essentially I did it in such like I didn't do anything like literally just like letting people go right that had committed a

Craig Salazar
02:07:42.016 --> 02:07:53.814
crime but the crime that they committed was they had weed on them or they had a you know, I remember I pulled this guy over once and he had um an empty baggie on his leg.

Craig Salazar
02:07:53.814 --> 02:08:01.219
He had panicked so much in me walking up to the car that in the effort to try to like panic and hide everything and he knew who I was.

Craig Salazar
02:08:01.431 --> 02:08:08.314
Because I had arrested him before I walk up and I'm standing there and I'm talking to him and I see this little baggie and it was empty.

Craig Salazar
02:08:08.314 --> 02:08:10.895
It was an old baggie, but it was sitting on his leg.

Craig Salazar
02:08:10.895 --> 02:08:17.037
And that's enough for a police officer to at least pull that guy out of the car and start searching the vehicle.

Craig Salazar
02:08:17.037 --> 02:08:20.039
He's probably going to go to jail for something at that point, right?

Craig Salazar
02:08:20.039 --> 02:08:24.110
And because I knew that he lived right where he was at and everything, he wasn't driving anymore.

Craig Salazar
02:08:24.110 --> 02:08:25.081
He was home.

Craig Salazar
02:08:25.081 --> 02:08:28.922
I just happened to time at all to where it was pulling him over at that spot.

Craig Salazar
02:08:28.922 --> 02:08:31.063
And at that moment, I just let him go.

Craig Salazar
02:08:31.063 --> 02:08:34.463
I'm not going to arrest him for some empty paraphernalia.

Craig Salazar
02:08:34.463 --> 02:08:34.955
Do you know what I mean?

Craig Salazar
02:08:34.955 --> 02:08:39.607
That was that kind of stuff that I just started shifting and changing because it was silly.

Craig Salazar
02:08:39.607 --> 02:08:41.218
It wasn't helping or serving anybody.

Craig Salazar
02:08:41.218 --> 02:08:42.709
This guy needed help.

Craig Salazar
02:08:42.709 --> 02:08:44.710
He needed somebody to talk to.

Craig Salazar
02:08:44.710 --> 02:08:56.335
And a lot of what ended up happening to me as well was I'd end up on suicidal calls and talking to people during those time periods and really getting um

Craig Salazar
02:08:56.395 --> 02:09:04.278
Like I was grateful that I was in some of those moments and some of those experiences to be able to kind of like be the person at that spot trying to connect with them in an

Craig Salazar
02:09:04.278 --> 02:09:05.359
emotional way.

Craig Salazar
02:09:05.359 --> 02:09:07.139
Not all officers were that way.

Craig Salazar
02:09:07.139 --> 02:09:11.961
So I was grateful for some of those, but not all of those worked out the way that they should have worked out.

Craig Salazar
02:09:11.961 --> 02:09:21.115
So it was also, you know, to a detriment at times where I'd show up and I was too late and then you're dealing with the fallout after the fact and so many different things.

Craig Salazar
02:09:21.115 --> 02:09:23.886
But I wasn't helping anybody doing what I was doing.

Craig Salazar
02:09:23.886 --> 02:09:25.867
And at the same time, I was like,

Craig Salazar
02:09:26.677 --> 02:09:29.278
just dying inside.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:09:29.278 --> 02:09:36.523
I love your concept of one day on, two days off or something, or just be a police officer for some short amount of time.

Craig Salazar
02:09:36.523 --> 02:09:40.847
Yeah, I don't think they should do any more than like three or five years on the road.

Craig Salazar
02:09:40.847 --> 02:09:49.375
And during that time period, it should be short shifts with huge recovery time because your nervous system never recovers.

Craig Salazar
02:09:49.375 --> 02:09:51.057
You're already pegged out.

Craig Salazar
02:09:51.057 --> 02:09:54.239
Your nervous system is already always activated.

Craig Salazar
02:09:54.240 --> 02:09:56.312
Even when you're off duty, it's always on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:09:56.312 --> 02:09:57.123
Right.

Craig Salazar
02:09:57.123 --> 02:10:01.740
And then you're always dealing in the extremes of like adrenal fatigue and failure and

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:01.740 --> 02:10:02.107
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:10:02.107 --> 02:10:08.934
why addiction and caffeine and so many different things become such a massive issue for police officers, because obviously they're just trying to cope.

Craig Salazar
02:10:08.934 --> 02:10:10.916
But it's emblematic of society.

Craig Salazar
02:10:10.916 --> 02:10:12.498
That's the other thing too, right?

Craig Salazar
02:10:12.498 --> 02:10:19.034
Like all the things that police officers use to cope and manage their stresses are the same things that we're turning around arresting people for.

Craig Salazar
02:10:19.034 --> 02:10:20.736
It's so silly.

Craig Salazar
02:10:20.736 --> 02:10:21.908
It's so asinine.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:21.908 --> 02:10:22.428
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:22.428 --> 02:10:24.530
it's a hamster wheel with no end.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:24.530 --> 02:10:31.656
It's just going to, there's no time when you're like, okay, we did the job or we finished it or the project's over.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:31.656 --> 02:10:32.717
It's just on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:32.717 --> 02:10:35.839
uh There's no, there's no, yeah, we did it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:35.839 --> 02:10:37.451
That never is going to come.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:37.451 --> 02:10:41.334
So you either learn how to settle into that, that this is it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:41.334 --> 02:10:44.246
And there is no, there is no report card.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:44.246 --> 02:10:45.757
There is no anything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:45.757 --> 02:10:49.262
It's just, this is what we're doing and either you can do that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:49.262 --> 02:10:52.682
and suffer the consequences or- You've gotta shut down.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:52.682 --> 02:10:54.262
You tune out the world.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:54.262 --> 02:10:55.522
It's fight or flight.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:55.522 --> 02:10:56.142
Go on vacation.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:10:56.142 --> 02:10:59.479
So what did you do after you were like, oh.

Craig Salazar
02:10:59.479 --> 02:11:00.699
I fell apart.

Craig Salazar
02:11:01.120 --> 02:11:02.982
really, truthfully, just fell apart.

Craig Salazar
02:11:02.982 --> 02:11:12.538
I went into deep depression, um drank heavily, used to go down and buy beer thinking I was just going outside to mow the lawn, but I would kill tons of beer all the time.

Craig Salazar
02:11:12.538 --> 02:11:13.689
Got really drunk all the time.

Craig Salazar
02:11:13.689 --> 02:11:15.630
Just went into deep depression.

Craig Salazar
02:11:15.711 --> 02:11:22.535
As far as like what I was doing as a job or as a career or what was my next move, right?

Craig Salazar
02:11:22.916 --> 02:11:24.307
All of this time period too.

Craig Salazar
02:11:24.307 --> 02:11:26.598
Like there's a whole other parallel.

Craig Salazar
02:11:26.598 --> 02:11:27.839
uh

Craig Salazar
02:11:27.839 --> 02:11:39.728
almost a parallel uh storyline in conjunction with all of this that involves me also waking up into the space of like spirituality and energy healing and really having massive

Craig Salazar
02:11:39.728 --> 02:11:46.893
experiences uh in my personal life that then are translating into my um professional life as a police officer.

Craig Salazar
02:11:46.893 --> 02:11:52.197
So I'm essentially having like my spiritual awakening as a police officer basically.

Craig Salazar
02:11:52.197 --> 02:11:55.599
And I'm experiencing things um

Craig Salazar
02:11:55.601 --> 02:12:08.696
learning about things, uh literally having like all the spiritual experiences that people have, and then getting to experience those in real world scenarios with as a police

Craig Salazar
02:12:08.696 --> 02:12:09.557
officer.

Craig Salazar
02:12:09.557 --> 02:12:15.659
So it was this really cool but also like massive transitory time period for me.

Craig Salazar
02:12:15.659 --> 02:12:24.565
So in conjunction with all of that, like you know in my downtime I'm getting certified to be a theta healer going through the process of

Craig Salazar
02:12:24.565 --> 02:12:28.418
learning theta healing, which is just an energy healing modality.

Craig Salazar
02:12:28.518 --> 02:12:37.426
And I'm starting to do like little weekend fairs and events and starting to do energy readings and things like that, working with people in that capacity, really enjoying that,

Craig Salazar
02:12:37.426 --> 02:12:40.008
really like jiving with that and feeling that.

Craig Salazar
02:12:40.149 --> 02:12:43.212
And then also being a police officer and.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:12:43.212 --> 02:12:44.642
I can't imagine.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:12:44.642 --> 02:12:46.619
They do not align at all.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:12:46.619 --> 02:12:48.333
Two totally different worlds.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:12:48.333 --> 02:12:51.819
You had a foot in two totally different worlds.

Craig Salazar
02:12:52.121 --> 02:12:52.788
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:12:52.788 --> 02:12:56.359
and I was constantly trying to blend them.

Craig Salazar
02:12:56.359 --> 02:12:58.990
was trying to bring forth all of that.

Craig Salazar
02:12:59.211 --> 02:13:08.475
Essentially, I got to a spot and it's the same spot that I'm at today where I get to the spot with spirituality and with energy and everything like that where it's all just love.

Craig Salazar
02:13:08.475 --> 02:13:09.685
For me, it's just all love.

Craig Salazar
02:13:09.685 --> 02:13:10.306
We're all love.

Craig Salazar
02:13:10.306 --> 02:13:11.196
We're connected to love.

Craig Salazar
02:13:11.196 --> 02:13:12.817
That's what the whole big game is all about.

Craig Salazar
02:13:12.817 --> 02:13:14.397
It's just a big fucking love fest.

Craig Salazar
02:13:14.397 --> 02:13:15.398
This is love.

Craig Salazar
02:13:15.398 --> 02:13:16.859
It's what we're experiencing.

Craig Salazar
02:13:16.859 --> 02:13:18.135
So I try to bring that.

Craig Salazar
02:13:18.135 --> 02:13:27.015
to being a police officer, which means I'm starting to see people more and trying to help people more and really want to invest the time and energy to see these people and help

Craig Salazar
02:13:27.015 --> 02:13:30.675
these people rather than just arrest these people or do you know what mean?

Craig Salazar
02:13:30.675 --> 02:13:33.875
It was really kind of like trying to transition and shift in that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:13:33.875 --> 02:13:37.035
And it's not, I mean, that's not what a police officer's job is.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:13:37.035 --> 02:13:39.831
That's not what, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:13:39.831 --> 02:13:40.141
Utah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:13:40.141 --> 02:13:48.431
Maybe down here in Southeast Florida, we probably have resource officers that go and do different things and, you know, the area's flush with cash.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:13:48.431 --> 02:13:50.984
But in small town Utah, I don't think that's happening, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:13:50.984 --> 02:13:53.116
It's enforcement.

Craig Salazar
02:13:53.116 --> 02:13:55.398
uh

Craig Salazar
02:13:55.432 --> 02:14:06.595
it's not the role that uh of a police officer, but I'm trying to do it in such a way that is like sits with me right, you know, and I could never quite get it to sit with me right.

Craig Salazar
02:14:06.595 --> 02:14:13.867
But I'm also having like just bananas, experiences of like, energetically being able to feel and connect to different things.

Craig Salazar
02:14:13.867 --> 02:14:16.428
And like I used to always go find people.

Craig Salazar
02:14:16.428 --> 02:14:19.099
had a real knack for being able to find people.

Craig Salazar
02:14:19.099 --> 02:14:21.107
And we'd have somebody that

Craig Salazar
02:14:21.107 --> 02:14:26.722
needed to be found because they needed to be arrested or they were a suspect in something and I would just go out and find them.

Craig Salazar
02:14:26.722 --> 02:14:34.038
I would just get in my patrol car and feel whichever way I was supposed to go and turn left here and turn right there and then I think I'd better turn around and go in the

Craig Salazar
02:14:34.038 --> 02:14:34.868
opposite direction.

Craig Salazar
02:14:34.868 --> 02:14:43.345
And it happened so much so that like my sergeant got to the point where he just would kind of chuckle because we'd come in on shift and they'd be like, yeah, we're looking for

Craig Salazar
02:14:43.345 --> 02:14:43.756
so-and-so.

Craig Salazar
02:14:43.756 --> 02:14:45.467
And I'd be like, cool, I'll be back.

Craig Salazar
02:14:45.467 --> 02:14:46.117
I'm gonna go get him.

Craig Salazar
02:14:46.117 --> 02:14:49.610
And he would just laugh because at some point I'd come back in with them.

Craig Salazar
02:14:49.610 --> 02:14:51.151
um

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:14:52.221 --> 02:14:54.573
led you to your spiritual path?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:14:54.573 --> 02:14:58.046
Like what led you there to start your spiritual path?

Craig Salazar
02:14:58.155 --> 02:15:05.117
Yeah, what happened was, my mom started uh going to this group that would meet on Monday nights.

Craig Salazar
02:15:05.117 --> 02:15:16.690
It was just a group of women that would meet, and some lady held it at her house, and she taught Theta Healing and everything, but it was more of just a share group for people to

Craig Salazar
02:15:16.690 --> 02:15:24.983
show up and share in the experiences that they were having, learn about meditation, learn about energy healing, learn about oracle cards, all the different things that exist in the

Craig Salazar
02:15:24.983 --> 02:15:25.383
space.

Craig Salazar
02:15:25.383 --> 02:15:26.613
em

Craig Salazar
02:15:26.613 --> 02:15:28.434
So was just kind of like a Monday group thing.

Craig Salazar
02:15:28.434 --> 02:15:31.266
And that was my introduction into it.

Craig Salazar
02:15:31.567 --> 02:15:37.132
And all of it was so like, I was just drinking it all up so much.

Craig Salazar
02:15:37.132 --> 02:15:47.030
was so, so much new information for me on one hand, but then time and time and time again, it was resonating, connecting with things that I had been experiencing my whole entire

Craig Salazar
02:15:47.030 --> 02:15:47.601
life.

Craig Salazar
02:15:47.601 --> 02:15:55.091
So it was a big reawakening process for me of seeing the things and experiencing the things that I had context now to kind of.

Craig Salazar
02:15:55.091 --> 02:15:59.511
frame around rather than thinking, well, that was just a weird thing that would happen when I was a kid.

Craig Salazar
02:15:59.511 --> 02:16:00.435
Oh, wait a minute.

Craig Salazar
02:16:00.435 --> 02:16:02.086
Turns out there's a name for that.

Craig Salazar
02:16:02.086 --> 02:16:03.958
There's something in conjunction with that.

Craig Salazar
02:16:03.958 --> 02:16:07.480
And so it really woke up a lot of things inside of me.

Craig Salazar
02:16:07.600 --> 02:16:13.625
And so I was really hungry for it and kept having cool and cool and cool and cooler experiences with it.

Craig Salazar
02:16:13.625 --> 02:16:22.311
And simultaneously, Steph is also um participating in all of it and coming to the group and we're having shared experiences together.

Craig Salazar
02:16:22.409 --> 02:16:26.031
she's incredibly em energetically gifted and talented.

Craig Salazar
02:16:26.031 --> 02:16:33.914
And so we're having all of these massive, cool, spiritually amazing kind of woke ass experiences together.

Craig Salazar
02:16:33.914 --> 02:16:38.366
And then trying to be a police officer didn't work.

Craig Salazar
02:16:39.827 --> 02:16:40.469
When I.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:16:40.469 --> 02:16:43.606
what your nervous system was like during that time.

Craig Salazar
02:16:44.072 --> 02:16:45.392
it was crazy.

Craig Salazar
02:16:45.633 --> 02:16:56.909
So when I got fired, I rather than like going back to being a police officer or going back and getting some job at the warehouse, manufacturing something or driving a forklift, I

Craig Salazar
02:16:56.909 --> 02:17:06.655
decided I was just going to go all in with with theta healing and with being like a spiritual counselor for people and coaching people in that space and started doing fairs

Craig Salazar
02:17:06.655 --> 02:17:11.047
more consistently and working with people on one on one basis and things like that.

Craig Salazar
02:17:11.415 --> 02:17:17.677
um So that was my game plan, but that, you know, at the same time, I'm horribly depressed.

Craig Salazar
02:17:17.677 --> 02:17:22.238
Life is still just incredibly chaotic and stressful.

Craig Salazar
02:17:22.238 --> 02:17:33.041
All of our kids are at the phase of like teenagers and we're having issues across the board with the other family members, not the other family members, but with, you know,

Craig Salazar
02:17:33.041 --> 02:17:37.555
trying to raise parents with exes and things like not raise parents, raise kids with exes, right?

Craig Salazar
02:17:37.555 --> 02:17:39.883
So we're having issues across the board with all of that stuff.

Craig Salazar
02:17:39.883 --> 02:17:40.563
So.

Craig Salazar
02:17:40.585 --> 02:17:42.256
All of life is crazy.

Craig Salazar
02:17:43.098 --> 02:17:47.291
And I'm trying to do it, I mean, it's not like a, you know, it's not a job.

Craig Salazar
02:17:47.291 --> 02:17:53.647
It's something, it's an entrepreneur thing where you have to like self create and do all sorts of different stuff, which I had no experience in or knowledge.

Craig Salazar
02:17:53.647 --> 02:18:04.377
And eventually this leads me to floating sensory deprivation tanks um because I get really into meditation and I'm wanting to take my spiritual experience or even deeper.

Craig Salazar
02:18:04.398 --> 02:18:05.961
So I start floating.

Craig Salazar
02:18:05.961 --> 02:18:10.153
And then somebody builds a float tank out in Tooele, which was super random.

Craig Salazar
02:18:10.153 --> 02:18:19.026
So they open up a little float tank center out there, which was like bananas, because it's such a unique thing that, you know, there was only one place at the time to do it in Salt

Craig Salazar
02:18:19.026 --> 02:18:19.587
Lake City.

Craig Salazar
02:18:19.587 --> 02:18:21.797
And so.

Craig Salazar
02:18:22.438 --> 02:18:23.858
Yeah, it was really convenient for me.

Craig Salazar
02:18:23.858 --> 02:18:29.131
So I go there and I start essentially floating there, but also build a relationship with the guy.

Craig Salazar
02:18:29.131 --> 02:18:35.433
And he lets me use the back room as a little office space so I can do readings and see clients there and then.

Craig Salazar
02:18:35.467 --> 02:18:39.129
we kind of help run the facility as well a little bit and start working at the float center.

Craig Salazar
02:18:39.129 --> 02:18:44.311
And that transitions into working for the manufacturing company that makes the float tanks.

Craig Salazar
02:18:44.311 --> 02:18:51.194
And then I become the tech for that company and start traveling all over the country, installing float tanks everywhere.

Craig Salazar
02:18:51.314 --> 02:19:01.689
And that's kind of what, at least from a financial perspective and a work kind of angle perspective, that's what I eventually transitioned into and did that for all the way up

Craig Salazar
02:19:01.689 --> 02:19:03.029
until last year.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:19:03.276 --> 02:19:03.908
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:19:03.908 --> 02:19:07.218
And so for our listeners, what could you describe?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:19:07.218 --> 02:19:08.842
What is Theta Healing?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:19:11.335 --> 02:19:14.386
I thought you were going to say floating and I was like, I'm so ready for floating.

Craig Salazar
02:19:14.386 --> 02:19:17.438
I had to explain floating to so many people.

Craig Salazar
02:19:17.438 --> 02:19:18.478
no, Theta Healing.

Craig Salazar
02:19:18.478 --> 02:19:27.712
So the easiest way to think about it is if you tap in or if you believe that there's something that exists outside of us that we're all connected to, right?

Craig Salazar
02:19:27.712 --> 02:19:29.563
Energy, whatever we want to think about it, right?

Craig Salazar
02:19:29.563 --> 02:19:29.893
Love.

Craig Salazar
02:19:29.893 --> 02:19:33.304
We're all connected to this thing in Theta Healing.

Craig Salazar
02:19:33.324 --> 02:19:36.245
It's just a modality to connect to that stuff.

Craig Salazar
02:19:36.245 --> 02:19:40.687
So it's like anything else like Reiki or um

Craig Salazar
02:19:40.787 --> 02:19:44.392
mediumship or uh psychics or clairaudience.

Craig Salazar
02:19:44.392 --> 02:19:50.842
There's so many different ways of tapping in and connecting to energy, connecting into consciousness.

Craig Salazar
02:19:50.842 --> 02:19:53.485
Theta healing is just one modality to do it.

Craig Salazar
02:19:53.485 --> 02:19:54.855
uh

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:19:54.855 --> 02:19:59.015
so would tapping be a theta healing?

Craig Salazar
02:19:59.015 --> 02:20:04.248
No, it's not tapping is its own tapping is it's kind of like its own modality

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:20:04.248 --> 02:20:08.585
It's like the tapping's more the reprogramming, reassociation.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:20:08.585 --> 02:20:12.156
like a somatic uh nervous system thing.

Craig Salazar
02:20:12.156 --> 02:20:14.437
It's not necessarily, but yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:20:14.437 --> 02:20:15.586
But same kind of idea.

Craig Salazar
02:20:15.586 --> 02:20:22.039
Theta, example, what I would do when I worked with clients uh is just sit across from them.

Craig Salazar
02:20:22.039 --> 02:20:23.900
And you didn't have to do it this way.

Craig Salazar
02:20:23.900 --> 02:20:25.420
It just kind of helped.

Craig Salazar
02:20:25.420 --> 02:20:26.741
You would just hold hands.

Craig Salazar
02:20:26.741 --> 02:20:28.921
So I put my hands out and they put your hands on my hands.

Craig Salazar
02:20:28.921 --> 02:20:30.522
And then we just sit there for a minute.

Craig Salazar
02:20:30.522 --> 02:20:34.005
And essentially, I connect to your energy and see what's there.

Craig Salazar
02:20:34.005 --> 02:20:40.093
and then I'm just communicating to you what I see, smell, experience, all the various ways that it comes through.

Craig Salazar
02:20:40.093 --> 02:20:43.278
And it can be used for a bunch of different things too.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:20:43.278 --> 02:20:44.969
Do you do medium soup?

Craig Salazar
02:20:45.397 --> 02:20:47.388
Sometimes that will happen in there.

Craig Salazar
02:20:48.069 --> 02:20:48.730
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:20:48.730 --> 02:20:48.990
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:20:48.990 --> 02:20:52.333
It's been a, it's been a really long, beautiful journey.

Craig Salazar
02:20:52.333 --> 02:21:02.782
Like I said, there's a parallel storyline of the spiritual awakening process really that's happened in conjunction with my regular everyday life shit falling apart and having to

Craig Salazar
02:21:02.782 --> 02:21:04.093
heal trauma and everything else.

Craig Salazar
02:21:04.093 --> 02:21:04.763
Right.

Craig Salazar
02:21:04.763 --> 02:21:08.827
And, this other component has been, it's been along for the ride all along the way.

Craig Salazar
02:21:08.827 --> 02:21:13.581
And it shows up in a lot of different ways and I've used it in a lot of different ways over the years.

Craig Salazar
02:21:13.581 --> 02:21:14.271
And

Craig Salazar
02:21:14.293 --> 02:21:18.139
I'm now coming back into it even more this last year as well.

Craig Salazar
02:21:18.139 --> 02:21:22.794
It's like finally come back into my space in an even more bigger way as well.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:21:23.276 --> 02:21:35.252
And then in addition to um the floating, there other areas that you applied the theta healing?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:21:35.252 --> 02:21:39.154
Like did you, share it in the festivals and...

Craig Salazar
02:21:39.154 --> 02:21:39.960
um

Craig Salazar
02:21:39.960 --> 02:21:47.125
was I got the job with, I was doing fairs and events and doing readings and things like that.

Craig Salazar
02:21:47.126 --> 02:21:54.052
And then at the same time, I started the podcast that we did originally.

Craig Salazar
02:21:54.052 --> 02:21:56.494
It was called energy is love.

Craig Salazar
02:21:56.795 --> 02:22:06.703
the impetus for that podcast was me interviewing all these people that I was meeting at all of these events and fairs, all the tarot readers, the

Craig Salazar
02:22:06.871 --> 02:22:13.291
Oracle card readers, the people that were into crystals, all the other people that were doing all of these events and fairs.

Craig Salazar
02:22:13.291 --> 02:22:16.131
That was the impetus for the podcast.

Craig Salazar
02:22:16.711 --> 02:22:21.691
so originally, we started that podcast in 2016.

Craig Salazar
02:22:22.591 --> 02:22:25.451
for the first, like, go ahead.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:22:25.615 --> 02:22:29.035
come to a studio where you would interview them or was it remote?

Craig Salazar
02:22:29.035 --> 02:22:29.986
No, it was remote.

Craig Salazar
02:22:29.986 --> 02:22:34.889
was, I mean, it was back in the day where there was, don't think anybody was doing video podcasts at that point.

Craig Salazar
02:22:34.889 --> 02:22:37.701
There might be a little, but it was all audio.

Craig Salazar
02:22:37.701 --> 02:22:45.607
So I had this huge learning curve of like, I invested like 500 bucks and got equipment that I could travel with.

Craig Salazar
02:22:45.607 --> 02:22:50.350
And then I just started going and showing up places and Hey, you want to be on a podcast?

Craig Salazar
02:22:50.350 --> 02:22:50.680
Cool.

Craig Salazar
02:22:50.680 --> 02:22:51.551
I'll come to your house.

Craig Salazar
02:22:51.551 --> 02:22:54.433
And then we hang out and I set up all the equipment and we have a great interview.

Craig Salazar
02:22:54.433 --> 02:22:58.025
And then I go back and edit and record and post and everything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:22:58.159 --> 02:22:58.934
that's cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:22:58.934 --> 02:23:01.547
And how long did you do that podcast?

Craig Salazar
02:23:01.601 --> 02:23:02.902
So we did that podcast.

Craig Salazar
02:23:02.902 --> 02:23:16.631
What happened was I started the podcast and then the first like 100, I think 120, was somewhere around 120 episodes, Steph came on as the co-host and then we did altogether

Craig Salazar
02:23:16.631 --> 02:23:19.633
like 380 episodes of that podcast.

Craig Salazar
02:23:19.633 --> 02:23:25.457
So the first chunk of it, uh I was doing it just by myself.

Craig Salazar
02:23:25.457 --> 02:23:27.925
Steph was on a handful of episodes and

Craig Salazar
02:23:27.925 --> 02:23:29.716
Every time she'd come on, I'd be like, why?

Craig Salazar
02:23:29.716 --> 02:23:31.717
Like I could talk to you obviously all day long.

Craig Salazar
02:23:31.717 --> 02:23:33.178
You just need to do the podcast more.

Craig Salazar
02:23:33.178 --> 02:23:37.300
But I would take all of my gear with me when I would travel for DreamPod.

Craig Salazar
02:23:37.300 --> 02:23:46.505
So I would go and set up a float tank and then coordinate with somebody else that lived in the area that I had like reached out to before ahead of time and then drive over there and

Craig Salazar
02:23:46.505 --> 02:23:51.668
record a podcast with them and then finish up the trip, you know, installing the float tank and then fly back home.

Craig Salazar
02:23:51.668 --> 02:23:57.071
And so I took my gear all over the country and got some really cool interviews with people and

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:23:57.071 --> 02:24:04.719
What's cool about it is that you were um interviewing people that were all tied and represented to this healing.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:24:04.719 --> 02:24:09.023
But then also the dream pod, the flotation.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:24:09.023 --> 02:24:10.024
What do you call them?

Craig Salazar
02:24:10.024 --> 02:24:13.327
The float tanks.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:24:13.327 --> 02:24:17.051
They also were tied into that or can be used in that healing, too.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:24:17.051 --> 02:24:20.754
So your whole world was kind of tied to the healing.

Craig Salazar
02:24:20.853 --> 02:24:26.266
Yeah, that's what it came to be was, know, originally, like I said, the impetus was trying to interview people.

Craig Salazar
02:24:26.266 --> 02:24:36.390
I wanted to normalize because there's this woo woo stigma still even today about people that are energy healers and Reiki practitioners and society still sees all of that stuff

Craig Salazar
02:24:36.390 --> 02:24:40.282
from, think, a very negative light, one that they don't really understand, right?

Craig Salazar
02:24:40.282 --> 02:24:41.413
Which I get.

Craig Salazar
02:24:41.413 --> 02:24:43.353
I used to see it that same way, too.

Craig Salazar
02:24:43.434 --> 02:24:46.805
But I wanted to normalize it because they're just everybody's just normal.

Craig Salazar
02:24:46.805 --> 02:24:47.396
Right?

Craig Salazar
02:24:47.396 --> 02:24:48.316
We're just all people.

Craig Salazar
02:24:48.316 --> 02:24:50.127
It's the same thing of working with prisoners.

Craig Salazar
02:24:50.127 --> 02:24:50.838
They're not prisoners.

Craig Salazar
02:24:50.838 --> 02:24:52.039
They're just people.

Craig Salazar
02:24:52.039 --> 02:25:00.404
So I wanted to normalize the experience and bring these people on and have just conversations with them about, you know, not just this cool stuff, but also who they were.

Craig Salazar
02:25:00.404 --> 02:25:06.969
um But then it began to evolve and literally it was basically everything that I was into and interested in.

Craig Salazar
02:25:06.969 --> 02:25:15.815
And it did transition into uh talking to people in the float industry and that were in that space, but they cross over really well because

Craig Salazar
02:25:15.839 --> 02:25:23.824
A lot of people that find their way into floating do so because of meditation or a deeper connection to themselves and to the unknown.

Craig Salazar
02:25:23.824 --> 02:25:31.268
And um Rogan made floating famous when he would talk about it because he was an avid floater.

Craig Salazar
02:25:31.268 --> 02:25:36.611
So there was a lot of crossover um with floating and with psychedelics.

Craig Salazar
02:25:36.691 --> 02:25:41.754
And then that eventually transitioned because again, it was just what my lived experience was.

Craig Salazar
02:25:41.754 --> 02:25:43.703
Basically, I was talking to people.

Craig Salazar
02:25:43.703 --> 02:25:47.283
that I was interested in based off of what I was interested in.

Craig Salazar
02:25:47.303 --> 02:25:58.463
And eventually it led into men's work and mental health and men's emotional work because one of the really big things that saved me was I got involved with a men's organization in

Craig Salazar
02:25:58.463 --> 02:26:05.083
2017 and went on this week-long backpacking trip that was a men's retreat into Yellowstone.

Craig Salazar
02:26:05.183 --> 02:26:13.383
And that was like a really big shift trajectory moment for us in our relationship as well as just in my life because

Craig Salazar
02:26:13.407 --> 02:26:23.711
I had so much repressed, everything that I wasn't dealing with and wasn't processing and didn't know how to process it.

Craig Salazar
02:26:23.711 --> 02:26:27.033
And in the meantime, our relationship is just falling apart.

Craig Salazar
02:26:27.253 --> 02:26:31.064
And it was so difficult and so challenging.

Craig Salazar
02:26:31.064 --> 02:26:37.637
And I was out mowing the lawn and I was listening to Joe Rogan and there was a guy that was on his name's Dan Doty.

Craig Salazar
02:26:37.637 --> 02:26:42.069
And he was talking about this new men's organization that he was starting called Everyman.

Craig Salazar
02:26:42.069 --> 02:26:46.963
and he was explaining the focus of Everyman and what it was and I was like, this is what I fucking need.

Craig Salazar
02:26:46.963 --> 02:26:48.745
He's describing what I'm wanting.

Craig Salazar
02:26:48.745 --> 02:26:52.908
Like if I could create something for myself, this guy's talking to me about it right now.

Craig Salazar
02:26:52.908 --> 02:26:58.653
And he's talking about this Yellowstone expedition that they're having, you know, in the fall.

Craig Salazar
02:26:58.653 --> 02:27:01.319
And I'm like, man, I would love to go on this expedition.

Craig Salazar
02:27:01.319 --> 02:27:06.048
I have like a massive, massive love and respect for Yellowstone.

Craig Salazar
02:27:06.048 --> 02:27:06.911
It was like...

Craig Salazar
02:27:06.911 --> 02:27:10.744
If it wasn't California family vacation when I was growing up, then it was Yellowstone.

Craig Salazar
02:27:10.744 --> 02:27:12.495
We went to Yellowstone a ton.

Craig Salazar
02:27:12.495 --> 02:27:15.256
So I've got really, really good memories in Yellowstone.

Craig Salazar
02:27:15.797 --> 02:27:23.543
So it became this huge moment in my life where I wanted to go on this thing, but at the time I wasn't working.

Craig Salazar
02:27:23.543 --> 02:27:24.823
we, you know, I had credit card.

Craig Salazar
02:27:24.823 --> 02:27:26.505
It was like we didn't have any money.

Craig Salazar
02:27:26.505 --> 02:27:28.346
Steph was basically our sole income.

Craig Salazar
02:27:28.346 --> 02:27:30.527
She was still working as a dispatcher.

Craig Salazar
02:27:30.673 --> 02:27:34.206
And I talked to her about this thing and I was like, yeah, they have this retreat.

Craig Salazar
02:27:34.206 --> 02:27:36.138
It would be kind of cool, but obviously it's not a thing.

Craig Salazar
02:27:36.138 --> 02:27:37.269
It's not going to happen.

Craig Salazar
02:27:37.269 --> 02:27:39.170
I go back outside and mow the lawn.

Craig Salazar
02:27:39.170 --> 02:27:43.544
Well, she's inside calling like the credit card company and really figuring out what our debt was.

Craig Salazar
02:27:43.544 --> 02:27:45.816
And she even got the balance moved up.

Craig Salazar
02:27:45.816 --> 02:27:54.483
So suddenly we had an extra chunk of money in there because the trip was like 4,500 bucks or something like that in order to do the whole week long inclusive event.

Craig Salazar
02:27:54.483 --> 02:27:57.196
So she made it so that I could go to this thing.

Craig Salazar
02:27:57.196 --> 02:27:58.901
And she came out and she said, hey,

Craig Salazar
02:27:58.901 --> 02:28:00.212
If you want to go, you can go.

Craig Salazar
02:28:00.212 --> 02:28:00.942
Here's the money.

Craig Salazar
02:28:00.942 --> 02:28:02.712
And I'm like, I'm going.

Craig Salazar
02:28:02.773 --> 02:28:14.917
And then that really, really shifted and transitioned things because suddenly I had a, not just an outlet, but uh I had a space where I could feel and connect and process.

Craig Salazar
02:28:14.917 --> 02:28:16.939
And I had a container to do it in.

Craig Salazar
02:28:16.939 --> 02:28:23.862
And I came home from that retreat and started a men's group in Salt Lake that met every Sunday for like four years.

Craig Salazar
02:28:23.862 --> 02:28:27.036
We met all the way up since then up and through COVID and everything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:28:27.036 --> 02:28:27.668
Wow.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:28:27.668 --> 02:28:28.646
That's cool.

Craig Salazar
02:28:28.646 --> 02:28:41.547
up a huge chunk of my life to where I started practicing emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, connecting, feeling, bringing emotions into my body and sitting with them

Craig Salazar
02:28:41.547 --> 02:28:46.170
and being with them and doing it with other men and helping other men do it.

Craig Salazar
02:28:46.511 --> 02:28:56.939
over the years, yeah, I was lucky enough to go to a bunch of their everyman events and went on the backpacking trip again as a, you know, I went back

Craig Salazar
02:28:56.939 --> 02:29:06.119
the next year and helped with it and went through their whole training program that they eventually rolled out and was assisting at different events and things like that.

Craig Salazar
02:29:06.119 --> 02:29:12.695
So I really just dove headfirst into that because it was saving me so much and it was healing me so much.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:29:13.181 --> 02:29:15.896
the premise there in terms of making it men only?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:29:15.896 --> 02:29:25.022
So it's a safe space for men to go and just talk about the challenges we face as guys and the feelings and emotions and all of that?

Craig Salazar
02:29:25.931 --> 02:29:34.455
Yeah, I think the one of the things that really stood out to me about Everyman because it's not, em it wasn't, you it's not a, it's not a new thing.

Craig Salazar
02:29:34.455 --> 02:29:38.186
The concept and idea of a men's retreat and men's group and things like that.

Craig Salazar
02:29:38.186 --> 02:29:40.677
It's been around for a really long time, obviously.

Craig Salazar
02:29:40.698 --> 02:29:50.972
So, but what really appealed to me was the emotional side of it, where it wasn't, um it wasn't like uh a week long retreat where you're going to be out there doing a bunch of guy

Craig Salazar
02:29:50.972 --> 02:29:53.001
stuff and then kind of like

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:29:53.001 --> 02:29:54.134
or something.

Craig Salazar
02:29:55.283 --> 02:29:56.284
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:29:56.509 --> 02:29:56.834
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:29:56.834 --> 02:29:59.316
It wasn't that type of bonding experience.

Craig Salazar
02:29:59.316 --> 02:30:09.183
It was structured and framed around the emotional healing part of it and slowing down in a group and just sitting and processing and connecting and communicating.

Craig Salazar
02:30:09.183 --> 02:30:19.931
So quite literally what the men's group would look like was, you know, we'd show up and we'd sit in a circle and everybody, if they chose, it's very similar to AA uh and in some

Craig Salazar
02:30:19.931 --> 02:30:20.811
regards.

Craig Salazar
02:30:20.811 --> 02:30:22.622
just in format in a sense, right?

Craig Salazar
02:30:22.622 --> 02:30:32.160
So we would basically check in and you get to check in and depending upon your day and what you're going through, you just get to share it and get to be heard and get to be

Craig Salazar
02:30:32.160 --> 02:30:34.182
validated and get to be seen.

Craig Salazar
02:30:34.482 --> 02:30:43.720
And just having that space created and the ability to show up and do it week after week with each other, you get more and more comfortable, more and more vulnerable, more and

Craig Salazar
02:30:43.720 --> 02:30:45.231
more stuff comes up.

Craig Salazar
02:30:45.371 --> 02:30:50.131
And it's a really healing environment when it's done right and when it's done in a healthy way.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:30:50.131 --> 02:30:58.957
as part of that, have you been able to deal with some of the, say the trauma from your dad and your upbringing with your brothers and your dad?

Craig Salazar
02:30:59.127 --> 02:31:04.007
Yeah, yeah, that was a real big part of the first few years of being involved with that.

Craig Salazar
02:31:04.007 --> 02:31:07.467
So that's all like 2017, 2018, 2019, right?

Craig Salazar
02:31:07.467 --> 02:31:16.527
And that was a big chunk of what I was healing, was processing was all the wounds that I had around masculinity, all the wounds that I had around my dad.

Craig Salazar
02:31:16.527 --> 02:31:27.839
I had a lot of misplaced anger and frustration that should have been in some ways placed upon my dad because he was such a non-existent in my life, essentially, right?

Craig Salazar
02:31:27.839 --> 02:31:30.180
It just fell onto my oldest brother.

Craig Salazar
02:31:30.180 --> 02:31:40.963
And so I go from seeking all the love and validation that I would need and or want from my dad not getting and then just placing all of that on my brother.

Craig Salazar
02:31:41.163 --> 02:31:43.884
And he can't meet that in any ways, right?

Craig Salazar
02:31:43.884 --> 02:31:47.524
It's a role that he's not meant to meet at all.

Craig Salazar
02:31:47.725 --> 02:31:52.346
so then I come to despise him and hate him and get really bitter and angry towards him.

Craig Salazar
02:31:52.346 --> 02:31:56.208
um But yeah, all of that unpacking process of

Craig Salazar
02:31:56.208 --> 02:31:56.619
yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:31:56.619 --> 02:32:03.406
really the masculine wound and the father wound and the energy in that space is what a big chunk of that processing was.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:32:03.406 --> 02:32:10.417
So then you, did you get that out of the Everyman event or over the next four years in the men's group?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:32:10.417 --> 02:32:13.109
I guess it probably never stops, right?

Craig Salazar
02:32:13.109 --> 02:32:24.762
Yeah, I mean, I was so involved with it where if I wasn't doing the men's group on Sundays, then it was like every few months I was traveling to some other because they

Craig Salazar
02:32:24.762 --> 02:32:34.805
would do mini events to, know, they would do like a weekend in Joshua Tree or um all these other little mini events that I would go and if I was able to and I was able to go to a

Craig Salazar
02:32:34.805 --> 02:32:41.097
lot of them because it was neither in conjunction where I would already be there because I was traveling for DreamPod.

Craig Salazar
02:32:41.641 --> 02:32:51.840
Or I got so accustomed to traveling like I remember like if you don't travel, then travel is kind of like a big deal and it's money and it's cost and it's all of this stuff.

Craig Salazar
02:32:51.841 --> 02:32:55.834
But when you travel for a living, I mean, it's fucking normal.

Craig Salazar
02:32:55.834 --> 02:33:06.154
So I got so accustomed to traveling that it was really easy for me to, I'm just sleeping in another hotel, renting another car, going to another expedition, driving over here and

Craig Salazar
02:33:06.154 --> 02:33:07.625
going to this and.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:07.928 --> 02:33:11.721
I just, I think this is so important.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:11.721 --> 02:33:15.664
um I think this is so needed.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:15.738 --> 02:33:23.011
I would love to see this started and maybe it does exist, but it's not talked about enough for younger men.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:24.418 --> 02:33:28.178
The Gen Z's um start early.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:28.178 --> 02:33:31.478
And I think a lot of us Gen X parents have worked really hard.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:31.542 --> 02:33:40.446
and done different with our kids and help them with their emotional development and given them names for their emotions and given them space to talk and express.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:40.446 --> 02:33:43.227
So I think we've all tried to break the cycle.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:43.227 --> 02:33:54.062
But I still think it would be incredibly amazing to have a support system like this for the young men and especially before they enter into marriage, before they enter into these

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:54.062 --> 02:33:59.744
commitments because you probably wouldn't see as many issues within a marriage.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:33:59.872 --> 02:34:02.685
if the work has already been done ahead of time.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:34:02.685 --> 02:34:09.600
And I'm sure that you have a lot of the men that you've encountered are avoidants, I would assume, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:34:09.600 --> 02:34:23.402
Are you dealing with a lot of avoidants who are having to learn to sit with their feelings, figure it out, not run away, not avoid, because that's why so many of their

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:34:23.402 --> 02:34:27.095
relationships have fallen apart or been strained because their avoidants.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:34:27.095 --> 02:34:28.436
Have you found that?

Craig Salazar
02:34:28.471 --> 02:34:29.251
100%.

Craig Salazar
02:34:29.251 --> 02:34:29.831
100%.

Craig Salazar
02:34:29.831 --> 02:34:30.691
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:34:30.791 --> 02:34:31.011
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:34:31.011 --> 02:34:38.031
And I look at it because my, not just my own personal understanding of it, but also my own lived experience of it.

Craig Salazar
02:34:38.031 --> 02:34:47.371
And then also kind of like, it's been the thing that has been so prevalent in my space for such a significant amount of time now where I'm thinking about it.

Craig Salazar
02:34:47.371 --> 02:34:57.071
I'm processing, I'm talking about just like inner work and emotional work and you know, it's, it's, it's what has been really shaping the last probably decade of my life, if I'm

Craig Salazar
02:34:57.071 --> 02:34:57.871
honest.

Craig Salazar
02:34:57.959 --> 02:35:14.241
And what's really interesting is, think that, because I get really bummed out by how men are still so resistant to this whole concept and idea that there's a whole other side of

Craig Salazar
02:35:14.241 --> 02:35:19.056
things that they're not addressing and dealing with, and how detrimental it is.

Craig Salazar
02:35:19.056 --> 02:35:27.403
Like, it's hard not to see the state of everything through this lens of emotional immaturity is what it is.

Craig Salazar
02:35:27.477 --> 02:35:31.890
and it's lack of ability to communicate and express emotions.

Craig Salazar
02:35:31.890 --> 02:35:34.562
And there's a hundred reasons why it exists, right?

Craig Salazar
02:35:34.562 --> 02:35:36.974
And there's a hundred reasons why we're all programmed this way.

Craig Salazar
02:35:36.974 --> 02:35:42.158
And all of those things are really, really big deals that will slowly change as time changes.

Craig Salazar
02:35:42.158 --> 02:35:53.623
Like you said, as Gen X, I feel like Gen Z and these earlier generations now are so much more adept at communicating and expressing emotions.

Craig Salazar
02:35:53.623 --> 02:36:00.183
and normalizing the emotional experience and supporting each other in their emotions than we ever were growing up.

Craig Salazar
02:36:00.183 --> 02:36:07.523
So I think it's changing, but it would be nice if there was some big, massive shift in change.

Craig Salazar
02:36:07.523 --> 02:36:12.503
And even if it's just the normalization of, we're all emotionally immature.

Craig Salazar
02:36:12.803 --> 02:36:18.123
And this is what it looks like to go from emotionally immature to emotionally mature.

Craig Salazar
02:36:18.123 --> 02:36:20.063
And there's no judgment or criticism.

Craig Salazar
02:36:20.063 --> 02:36:22.943
It's just an understanding of growth and development.

Craig Salazar
02:36:23.029 --> 02:36:26.142
And it's a part of development that we all have to go through.

Craig Salazar
02:36:26.142 --> 02:36:28.925
And it's basically stunted at the get-go.

Craig Salazar
02:36:28.925 --> 02:36:33.029
This emotional maturity just gets cut off at the knees, basically.

Craig Salazar
02:36:33.029 --> 02:36:35.992
just as young boys and individuals, it's not even boys, right?

Craig Salazar
02:36:35.992 --> 02:36:37.173
All of us to some extent.

Craig Salazar
02:36:37.173 --> 02:36:42.799
But as soon as you start expressing emotion as a young boy, it gets shut off.

Craig Salazar
02:36:42.799 --> 02:36:44.400
It gets shut down.

Craig Salazar
02:36:44.681 --> 02:36:47.273
And it's really, really sad.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:36:47.318 --> 02:36:48.298
It is.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:36:48.399 --> 02:36:58.984
It does make me feel very sad um because that space and I will say even as a Gen Xer, I was especially with my first son, I was not in tune with that at all.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:36:58.984 --> 02:37:00.805
mean, I'm way more aware now.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:00.805 --> 02:37:04.157
So my my second son is definitely getting more of the benefit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:04.157 --> 02:37:07.293
And of course, with my daughter, there was always space for her because she's a girl.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:07.293 --> 02:37:10.510
It's just natural that to give girls space.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:10.810 --> 02:37:12.572
for their emotions, it just is.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:12.572 --> 02:37:19.597
And so I've learned just through parenting from my 28 year old son to my 15 year old son, I've learned the change.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:19.597 --> 02:37:23.040
So even though we're trying to change, we're still slow going.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:23.040 --> 02:37:24.681
You're an elder millennial.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:24.681 --> 02:37:31.386
I think the elder millennials and the millennials have taken it even further than Gen X did.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:31.386 --> 02:37:36.850
And I do think that, I hope that the Gen Z women,

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:37.026 --> 02:37:45.694
will expect more from their Gen Z men counterparts and almost kind of raise the standards of this is what I expect of you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:45.694 --> 02:37:46.856
This is what I need.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:46.856 --> 02:37:54.414
And then they have to kind of rise to the occasion and hope hopefully with some of the tools we've all given them, they can.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:54.414 --> 02:37:59.988
I think they have more of a chance than any generation of men yet.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:37:59.988 --> 02:38:01.330
Before them for sure.

Craig Salazar
02:38:01.330 --> 02:38:02.240
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:38:02.507 --> 02:38:13.282
I've been really surprised, like, because I've, you know, I sat in a lot of men's groups over the years and got to sit, not just in the local group that uh we had in Salt Lake,

Craig Salazar
02:38:13.282 --> 02:38:14.793
but all these other groups.

Craig Salazar
02:38:14.793 --> 02:38:19.075
I've met men all across the country in various age ranges and groups and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
02:38:19.075 --> 02:38:24.457
Some men that would come to these retreats were, you know, 60s, 70s, 80s year old men that would come.

Craig Salazar
02:38:24.457 --> 02:38:29.319
And then you'd have like 20 year old guys and younger guys in their 20s that are coming to the event.

Craig Salazar
02:38:29.501 --> 02:38:43.917
And even uh so my oldest is 26 and her husband is I think a year or two older and even like they have such a different understanding of emotional maturity than I do.

Craig Salazar
02:38:43.917 --> 02:38:55.002
And it's like it boggles my mind sometimes because I really had to like open up my eyes and learn from the experience of the way that they see things and do things isn't wrong.

Craig Salazar
02:38:55.002 --> 02:38:58.103
It isn't, you know, some, you know, the

Craig Salazar
02:38:58.103 --> 02:39:08.443
The way that I think we often portray younger generations is a way to make it comfortable for us because we can't deal with the truth of what they're saying.

Craig Salazar
02:39:09.863 --> 02:39:13.423
yeah, and they've really opened up my eyes a lot.

Craig Salazar
02:39:13.423 --> 02:39:23.323
So I have a lot of hope for the world and for the level of emotional maturity that is continuing to evolve across the board with men and women.

Craig Salazar
02:39:23.323 --> 02:39:26.991
And it's still something that we need way more work on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:39:27.373 --> 02:39:28.673
100%.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:39:28.959 --> 02:39:36.750
So your podcast that you had before, in addition to talking about healing, did you talk about um these men groups?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:39:36.750 --> 02:39:39.063
Did you have them on too?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:39:39.063 --> 02:39:39.899
Or anyone from?

Craig Salazar
02:39:39.899 --> 02:39:40.980
I did.

Craig Salazar
02:39:41.339 --> 02:39:47.153
So I had all of those guys, like the founder of the organization became a close friend of mine, Dan Doty.

Craig Salazar
02:39:47.153 --> 02:39:49.304
So he was on the podcast a handful of times.

Craig Salazar
02:39:49.304 --> 02:39:55.387
em I used to bring on, I mean, all the guys that were in group, I used to take my gear with me.

Craig Salazar
02:39:55.387 --> 02:40:07.414
Like we recorded some episodes on site, like during an event, during a retreat with, em we did an episode once in a, where there was like four or five of us in this hotel room, just

Craig Salazar
02:40:07.414 --> 02:40:08.575
on microphones talking.

Craig Salazar
02:40:08.575 --> 02:40:09.045
So

Craig Salazar
02:40:09.045 --> 02:40:14.198
I brought all of that to the podcast and there's a lot of that on that old podcast.

Craig Salazar
02:40:14.198 --> 02:40:19.128
And then when Stephanie came on and started co-hosting, then it shifted even again.

Craig Salazar
02:40:19.128 --> 02:40:29.567
And we really went into talking about the healing process of our relationship together and what we were navigating together at the same time, men's group stuff at the same time,

Craig Salazar
02:40:29.567 --> 02:40:33.169
some energy stuff at the same time, just what we were into.

Craig Salazar
02:40:33.169 --> 02:40:37.567
Stephanie eventually left dispatch and became a massage therapist and

Craig Salazar
02:40:37.567 --> 02:40:39.179
started going down a different path.

Craig Salazar
02:40:39.179 --> 02:40:44.056
And so we started sharing our journey and our experience together on the podcast.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:40:44.056 --> 02:40:52.180
So what was your personal you and Stephanie, your personal journey of healing that you guys did together?

Craig Salazar
02:40:52.619 --> 02:40:57.362
Yeah, em in some ways it's basically what has shaped our relationship.

Craig Salazar
02:40:57.362 --> 02:41:04.405
We both have trauma in our background um from childhood that's really significant.

Craig Salazar
02:41:04.405 --> 02:41:09.528
So we had to heal that trauma, but had zero awareness of the depth of it.

Craig Salazar
02:41:09.628 --> 02:41:22.525
And through the course of our relationship, where you were able to really navigate that process of essentially enduring through the shit that uh got brought up, right?

Craig Salazar
02:41:22.549 --> 02:41:26.763
I think every relationship goes, you know, after the honeymoon phase and then you kind of settle into life.

Craig Salazar
02:41:26.763 --> 02:41:36.011
then usually around that like five, six, seven year mark is when all of your shit and all of your patterns are still showing up consistently and creating a whole bunch of chaos and

Craig Salazar
02:41:36.011 --> 02:41:38.773
stress and they're not changing and they're not being addressed.

Craig Salazar
02:41:38.773 --> 02:41:42.137
And then you think there's something wrong with the other person and then there's something wrong with that person.

Craig Salazar
02:41:42.137 --> 02:41:45.759
then relationship ends up falling apart or it doesn't.

Craig Salazar
02:41:46.160 --> 02:41:47.742
And ours didn't.

Craig Salazar
02:41:47.742 --> 02:41:49.423
And we were able to.

Craig Salazar
02:41:49.599 --> 02:41:56.505
stick through all of it and really buckle down into the space of actually healing this thing together.

Craig Salazar
02:41:56.505 --> 02:42:07.774
And getting into the men's work and with Everyman and everything like that was a big catalyst for it because it was the first time that I really started being accountable.

Craig Salazar
02:42:08.295 --> 02:42:10.917
And that was a huge shift and change.

Craig Salazar
02:42:10.917 --> 02:42:14.681
Up until that point, I had avoided accountability at all costs.

Craig Salazar
02:42:14.681 --> 02:42:17.603
um I was still...

Craig Salazar
02:42:17.853 --> 02:42:30.487
operating from a place of um trying to literally just outrun all of the chaos that I had experienced and all of the things that I had done and doing everything that I could to

Craig Salazar
02:42:30.487 --> 02:42:34.047
basically literally just not take accountability for it.

Craig Salazar
02:42:34.188 --> 02:42:36.008
And then I had to start that process.

Craig Salazar
02:42:36.008 --> 02:42:40.259
And that was like a learning curve in and of itself, right?

Craig Salazar
02:42:40.259 --> 02:42:46.443
I felt like the emotional going from emotionally immature to mature is this maturing process that I had to go through.

Craig Salazar
02:42:46.443 --> 02:42:49.124
which required me to start taking accountability.

Craig Salazar
02:42:49.184 --> 02:42:59.967
And all along the way Steph's doing her own healing as well in the ways that resonate with her and she's finding outlets and women retreats and the equivalent of those things.

Craig Salazar
02:43:00.147 --> 02:43:09.279
And we're each kind of like incrementally trying to heal together and work on our relationships and repair our relationship.

Craig Salazar
02:43:09.279 --> 02:43:12.890
But then our stuff is still kind of getting in the way of it.

Craig Salazar
02:43:12.890 --> 02:43:14.783
So it's like two steps forward.

Craig Salazar
02:43:14.783 --> 02:43:23.108
you know, three steps back because we might quote unquote think we're fixing a problem that we're experiencing in our relationship, but we didn't really fix the root of the

Craig Salazar
02:43:23.108 --> 02:43:23.568
problem.

Craig Salazar
02:43:23.568 --> 02:43:31.013
So it ends up happening again and popping up again and just navigating all of those kind of things that happen in relationships.

Craig Salazar
02:43:31.013 --> 02:43:39.828
But ours almost felt more, I don't necessarily more intense or anything like that, but yeah, just really intense.

Craig Salazar
02:43:39.828 --> 02:43:40.942
A lot of shit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:43:40.942 --> 02:43:43.513
We have awareness to make it intense.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:43:43.513 --> 02:43:46.805
If you weren't aware, it wouldn't have felt so intense.

Craig Salazar
02:43:46.805 --> 02:43:55.740
Yeah, I think that's a really key thing there too, you know, there's, for a long time, I thought our relationship was fine, that there wasn't anything wrong with the relationship.

Craig Salazar
02:43:55.801 --> 02:44:03.706
And then, oh, you start to have awareness of there's issues, and then you start to have awareness of maybe I'm contributing to those issues and to those factors.

Craig Salazar
02:44:03.706 --> 02:44:08.909
And then you really like, you rip that bandaid off, and you're like, shit, I got to take responsibility for my side 100%.

Craig Salazar
02:44:08.909 --> 02:44:09.569
And...

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:44:10.144 --> 02:44:15.937
Yeah, well, you guys had the symptoms, but then you needed to get to the root of what was causing.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:44:15.937 --> 02:44:27.203
And when you said accountability, that was the other thing I was going to say is I think that's tied in to em young men's emotional growth is lack of accountability.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:44:27.203 --> 02:44:31.545
Would you say in general with and with men in general?

Craig Salazar
02:44:32.906 --> 02:44:33.277
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
02:44:33.277 --> 02:44:34.297
I think it goes back.

Craig Salazar
02:44:34.297 --> 02:44:36.799
mean, because I've done so much work on.

Craig Salazar
02:44:36.799 --> 02:44:43.481
what happened was, you know, now we're kind of caught up to therapy and finding these therapists to work with.

Craig Salazar
02:44:43.821 --> 02:44:56.641
And em because of all the float tank stuff and the podcasting stuff, I learned about Rick Doblin, who is the founder of Maps, which is the organization responsible for getting

Craig Salazar
02:44:56.641 --> 02:44:57.815
MDMA.

Craig Salazar
02:44:57.815 --> 02:45:01.036
uh approved through um the FDA.

Craig Salazar
02:45:01.036 --> 02:45:04.797
So it's a legal sanction, you know, whole nine yards thing.

Craig Salazar
02:45:04.797 --> 02:45:12.399
And he's been on this like lifelong journey of trying to literally just get this fricking drug that's going to save millions and has saved a lot of people approved.

Craig Salazar
02:45:12.399 --> 02:45:16.300
uh I got the opportunity to interview him on the podcast.

Craig Salazar
02:45:16.540 --> 02:45:18.641
So that is like massively in my space.

Craig Salazar
02:45:18.641 --> 02:45:24.543
And I'm like, OK, that sounds like something that sounds like medicine that's going to be really, really helpful for me.

Craig Salazar
02:45:24.543 --> 02:45:26.763
But how, you know, at the time,

Craig Salazar
02:45:26.783 --> 02:45:35.135
MAPS is still doing and they still are doing um clinical studies and you have to be involved on the you know it's not the type of thing where you just go and show up and

Craig Salazar
02:45:35.135 --> 02:45:46.028
you're like okay give me the ecstasy I'm ready for the healing and so we found some therapists who were they had gone through the process of they were basically in the

Craig Salazar
02:45:46.028 --> 02:45:55.851
pipeline of getting certified through MAPS and becoming uh facilitators that are approved through their training program and everything like that so that they can offer this

Craig Salazar
02:45:55.851 --> 02:45:56.587
service.

Craig Salazar
02:45:56.587 --> 02:45:58.168
when it becomes legalized.

Craig Salazar
02:45:58.168 --> 02:46:10.433
And part of what that process is, is they're trying to do it on the back end, kind of behind the scenes in a under the table kind of way, because it's not legal.

Craig Salazar
02:46:10.433 --> 02:46:14.554
So we just happen to find really, really good therapists who were legit therapists.

Craig Salazar
02:46:14.554 --> 02:46:19.116
And we would like see them from nine to five and have regular therapy sessions.

Craig Salazar
02:46:19.116 --> 02:46:24.318
And then on the weekends, they would come out to our house and sit with us for like eight hours.

Craig Salazar
02:46:24.318 --> 02:46:26.719
And like I said, we would take turns where

Craig Salazar
02:46:26.911 --> 02:46:30.732
If it was my Saturday, Steph would take off for the day.

Craig Salazar
02:46:30.732 --> 02:46:31.482
She'd take her kids.

Craig Salazar
02:46:31.482 --> 02:46:33.183
They'd go see a movie.

Craig Salazar
02:46:33.183 --> 02:46:34.533
They'd be gone for the day.

Craig Salazar
02:46:34.533 --> 02:46:36.294
And the therapist would show up.

Craig Salazar
02:46:36.294 --> 02:46:42.576
And we'd sit there at the house for like eight hours while I'm dosing and going through this experience.

Craig Salazar
02:46:42.576 --> 02:46:47.367
And because we worked with them for so long, um knew like they...

Craig Salazar
02:46:47.367 --> 02:46:52.585
Because all MDMA does, and it's not to say all that it does, it does a lot of different things, but...

Craig Salazar
02:46:52.585 --> 02:46:58.800
Essentially, it just lets down the wall that is between you and all of your shadow and all of your trauma.

Craig Salazar
02:46:58.800 --> 02:47:11.008
And it makes all of that stuff much easier to uh experience because it's like the MDMA almost keeps your nervous system regulated in a calm state so that you're not so activated

Craig Salazar
02:47:11.008 --> 02:47:13.950
when you're processing through the things that are coming up.

Craig Salazar
02:47:14.110 --> 02:47:20.935
So it really gives you the opportunity to process through traumas and process through experiences.

Craig Salazar
02:47:20.969 --> 02:47:27.444
And in my case, it was a lot of repressed things that I hadn't, um that I had repressed.

Craig Salazar
02:47:27.705 --> 02:47:41.156
And in conjunction with that, I was able to uncover things from childhood and really put pieces together that like started not fixing, but suddenly I understood why I was the way

Craig Salazar
02:47:41.156 --> 02:47:42.297
that I was.

Craig Salazar
02:47:42.357 --> 02:47:44.418
And it started making sense.

Craig Salazar
02:47:44.679 --> 02:47:45.990
And it was massive.

Craig Salazar
02:47:45.990 --> 02:47:49.523
I mean, it was so life-changing because

Craig Salazar
02:47:49.673 --> 02:47:54.446
it quite literally just shifted my perception of my entire life.

Craig Salazar
02:47:54.446 --> 02:48:05.764
And now I had to go back from, you know, and even before birth, because a lot of what uh I think healing also involves is like the epigenetic aspect of it and seeing, you know, how

Craig Salazar
02:48:05.764 --> 02:48:14.490
things repeat and patterns repeat and cycles repeat and the experiences that get passed down to you energetically as well as emotionally and genetically and all sorts of

Craig Salazar
02:48:14.490 --> 02:48:15.040
different things.

Craig Salazar
02:48:15.040 --> 02:48:19.177
uh I had to put a lot of pieces together and now I had

Craig Salazar
02:48:19.177 --> 02:48:21.989
almost like a clear lens to do it with.

Craig Salazar
02:48:22.470 --> 02:48:31.309
So that's what the journey's been like since then is putting childhood and putting teenage years and putting adulthood and reframing everything with this new understanding of what

Craig Salazar
02:48:31.309 --> 02:48:35.753
really took place for me and what happened and has changed everything.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:48:35.790 --> 02:48:49.864
OK, so what I was going to ask, when you're in the therapy, do the therapists, how do they know what to ask you to take to guide you on that journey for those eight hours?

Craig Salazar
02:48:50.849 --> 02:48:56.944
Yeah, think that uh that's why it's really important to work with people that you know and trust.

Craig Salazar
02:48:56.944 --> 02:49:04.830
It's the type of thing where, you know, especially my therapist, I wasn't as connected to Steph's therapist.

Craig Salazar
02:49:04.830 --> 02:49:06.221
They worked in conjunction with each other.

Craig Salazar
02:49:06.221 --> 02:49:07.112
It was a man and a woman.

Craig Salazar
02:49:07.112 --> 02:49:09.043
I think that's an important thing as well.

Craig Salazar
02:49:09.043 --> 02:49:13.327
And that's part of the protocol as well that MAPS rolls out in conjunction with it.

Craig Salazar
02:49:13.327 --> 02:49:16.917
There's a thing that happens when essentially you've got

Craig Salazar
02:49:16.917 --> 02:49:22.700
Yes, you've got two therapists that are supporting each other in a space, depending upon what the patient needs in the moment, right?

Craig Salazar
02:49:22.700 --> 02:49:26.662
Sometimes it might be a really difficult, challenging experience.

Craig Salazar
02:49:26.662 --> 02:49:31.465
so it's almost like they're there so that they have an extra set of hands.

Craig Salazar
02:49:31.465 --> 02:49:39.119
But in my case, a lot of what it was was uh the cool part was they come to represent masculine and feminine energy.

Craig Salazar
02:49:39.119 --> 02:49:44.952
So it's important to have those mirrors almost uh in the space available to you.

Craig Salazar
02:49:44.952 --> 02:49:46.643
And when you're

Craig Salazar
02:49:46.739 --> 02:49:51.332
in the, you when you're going through the process of it and everybody's experience is different.

Craig Salazar
02:49:51.332 --> 02:50:00.559
That's one thing that we really kind of chuckled about after the fact, few years after the fact, because it's not so much chuckling in the moment, but Steph's experience was very,

Craig Salazar
02:50:00.559 --> 02:50:01.720
different than mine.

Craig Salazar
02:50:01.720 --> 02:50:12.138
Mine was just a lot of like hanging out and relaxed and just like, I'm so happy, like my therapist, I won't say his name, but uh we'll call him John.

Craig Salazar
02:50:12.138 --> 02:50:14.795
I was just like, John, I'm so happy to see you.

Craig Salazar
02:50:14.795 --> 02:50:15.785
Like, you're so cool.

Craig Salazar
02:50:15.785 --> 02:50:16.806
I'm so glad you're here.

Craig Salazar
02:50:16.806 --> 02:50:18.547
I just love hanging out with you, Johnny.

Craig Salazar
02:50:18.547 --> 02:50:19.968
Be like, yeah, yeah, I get it.

Craig Salazar
02:50:19.968 --> 02:50:20.578
Yeah, it's nice.

Craig Salazar
02:50:20.578 --> 02:50:21.469
It's nice.

Craig Salazar
02:50:21.469 --> 02:50:23.570
Anyways, let's talk about this little bit, right?

Craig Salazar
02:50:23.570 --> 02:50:27.912
So oftentimes for me, it was just some kind of gentle nudging.

Craig Salazar
02:50:27.912 --> 02:50:37.438
And, and then when it finally kind of, when it opens up, then it's just kind of like literally just being there validating rather than really guiding anything.

Craig Salazar
02:50:37.438 --> 02:50:43.721
You're just assisting the person through the experience that they're having so that they're not trying to experience it alone.

Craig Salazar
02:50:43.721 --> 02:50:46.282
essentially is what it boils down to.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:50:46.286 --> 02:50:53.140
So they have kind of established history from you going to therapy with them long enough that they know what.

Craig Salazar
02:50:53.140 --> 02:50:53.861
story.

Craig Salazar
02:50:53.861 --> 02:50:55.302
He knows my issues.

Craig Salazar
02:50:55.302 --> 02:50:59.584
He knows what you know has been coming up for me and just like anything else.

Craig Salazar
02:50:59.584 --> 02:51:04.328
I think you know, that's why I think therapy is so beneficial to some extent, right?

Craig Salazar
02:51:04.328 --> 02:51:13.284
I think there's limits to what regular talk therapy can and can't do but oftentimes it's you know, you're unpacking things and you're bringing things up and a good therapist is

Craig Salazar
02:51:13.284 --> 02:51:17.987
going to help you kind of look at things that you haven't really been able to see before.

Craig Salazar
02:51:17.987 --> 02:51:20.909
So there was already stuff that was kind of

Craig Salazar
02:51:20.993 --> 02:51:23.996
you know, processing and coming up and understanding.

Craig Salazar
02:51:23.996 --> 02:51:33.613
And then once that wall goes down where you don't have the added layer of fear and association with it anymore, and you're just relaxed enough, then it's much easier to go

Craig Salazar
02:51:33.613 --> 02:51:34.674
towards those things.

Craig Salazar
02:51:34.674 --> 02:51:44.672
So some of the areas that might be a little too um shadowed in a sense, or too difficult to go through during a regular therapy session, he might be thinking about that, you know,

Craig Salazar
02:51:44.672 --> 02:51:47.074
having that in his back pocket to some extent.

Craig Salazar
02:51:47.074 --> 02:51:50.797
But it's really an experience that happens in the moment.

Craig Salazar
02:51:51.263 --> 02:51:54.555
you know, who knows where it's going to go or who knows what's going to come up.

Craig Salazar
02:51:54.555 --> 02:52:03.540
I started out thinking that a lot of what I was going to be processing was stuff with Stephanie and I and really healing some of the things with our relationship.

Craig Salazar
02:52:03.560 --> 02:52:12.985
And next to nothing, like next, we even did a session together with each other where we were both dosed and our therapists were there.

Craig Salazar
02:52:12.985 --> 02:52:19.599
And it was like, we're going to try to do a couple's session now under and it didn't work.

Craig Salazar
02:52:19.599 --> 02:52:20.430
wasn't

Craig Salazar
02:52:20.430 --> 02:52:24.107
helpful or beneficial for either of us uh because

Craig Salazar
02:52:24.107 --> 02:52:26.101
just seem to work on your own stuff.

Craig Salazar
02:52:26.101 --> 02:52:30.013
And that's what was causing the problem within the relationship.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:52:30.013 --> 02:52:30.754
100%.

Craig Salazar
02:52:30.754 --> 02:52:32.606
And I think that's the case for everybody.

Craig Salazar
02:52:32.606 --> 02:52:40.963
It's like everything that we tried to do, as I mentioned earlier, right, you can't really fix your relationship if you're not fixing yourself and addressing yourself because those

Craig Salazar
02:52:40.963 --> 02:52:43.486
are the issues that are affecting the relationship.

Craig Salazar
02:52:43.486 --> 02:52:47.849
So this was the opportunity for both of us to get to the heart of our issues.

Craig Salazar
02:52:48.150 --> 02:52:49.841
And it just looked very, very different.

Craig Salazar
02:52:49.841 --> 02:52:52.403
Steph had a much different experience than mine.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:52:52.452 --> 02:52:54.792
What is the format?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:52:55.252 --> 02:52:56.972
Do they come over?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:52:56.972 --> 02:52:58.852
Are you laying in bed?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:52:58.972 --> 02:53:02.132
Or is it like you're hanging out in the living room type of thing?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:53:02.132 --> 02:53:04.823
How does that kind of go down the mechanics of it?

Craig Salazar
02:53:04.823 --> 02:53:10.255
For like, if it was more of a, like if we went to an office, I'm sure it would be much different.

Craig Salazar
02:53:10.255 --> 02:53:18.857
I know that like if, when it comes to the clinical studies that they do with MAPS that are in a much more kind of controlled environment, then it's more of like a therapeutic

Craig Salazar
02:53:18.857 --> 02:53:23.558
setting and you might have a couch or you might have something for the person to lay down on and relax.

Craig Salazar
02:53:23.558 --> 02:53:28.179
You'll have, you you're creating a soft, quiet, nice, relaxing environment for them.

Craig Salazar
02:53:28.460 --> 02:53:31.420
As far as what it was for us, I mean, that was just our house.

Craig Salazar
02:53:31.420 --> 02:53:33.561
So we, I,

Craig Salazar
02:53:33.641 --> 02:53:41.404
set up our living room and, you know, created a nice little quiet environment for myself where I felt safe and comfortable, which is easy because it's my house.

Craig Salazar
02:53:41.404 --> 02:53:43.824
And then the therapists are just coming into it.

Craig Salazar
02:53:43.844 --> 02:53:50.127
And for Stephanie, she was upstairs in one of our bedrooms upstairs because that's where she felt safe doing it, you know.

Craig Salazar
02:53:50.127 --> 02:53:55.368
So we lucked out and we didn't have to try to do it in an environment that we weren't comfortable in.

Craig Salazar
02:53:55.368 --> 02:53:57.986
Our therapists came into that space with us.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:53:57.986 --> 02:54:04.651
And the dosing, um I'm assuming it's way different than recreational dosing, right?

Craig Salazar
02:54:04.651 --> 02:54:07.122
No, it's so well it is and it is and it isn't.

Craig Salazar
02:54:07.122 --> 02:54:14.985
That's what was funny too about the experience was because it wasn't um because it was kind of like off the books in a sense.

Craig Salazar
02:54:14.985 --> 02:54:18.657
Our therapists didn't bring the drugs with them, right?

Craig Salazar
02:54:18.657 --> 02:54:25.830
They're like we can do this thing, but you got to figure out how to uh get what you need to get for this thing.

Craig Salazar
02:54:25.830 --> 02:54:27.250
And we're like, okay.

Craig Salazar
02:54:27.250 --> 02:54:28.831
And they even had referrals for us.

Craig Salazar
02:54:28.831 --> 02:54:30.912
So they're like, you could call this guy.

Craig Salazar
02:54:32.032 --> 02:54:34.303
So we legit end up

Craig Salazar
02:54:34.317 --> 02:54:35.917
ah We just had a drug dealer.

Craig Salazar
02:54:35.917 --> 02:54:43.840
We had this cool drug dealer hippie guy that we were hooked up with that we would call and text and then go and meet him.

Craig Salazar
02:54:43.840 --> 02:54:45.557
And it was super sketchy.

Craig Salazar
02:54:45.557 --> 02:54:52.142
It was so funny to be doing it, having the experience of being a police officer, watching people do that thing.

Craig Salazar
02:54:52.142 --> 02:54:57.674
And then here I am like five years later, six years later, navigating the opposite end of the spectrum.

Craig Salazar
02:54:57.674 --> 02:54:59.264
was so funny for me.

Craig Salazar
02:54:59.364 --> 02:55:01.989
that was kind of like the, what's that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:55:01.989 --> 02:55:04.090
Where were you guys living at the time?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:55:05.231 --> 02:55:06.171
Okay.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:55:06.432 --> 02:55:15.047
And so did the, did the therapist then look at what you received recreationally and decide how much you should take or did you guys decide?

Craig Salazar
02:55:15.047 --> 02:55:20.261
they had recommendations as far as like, here's the recommended dosage.

Craig Salazar
02:55:20.582 --> 02:55:26.826
So they gave us like protocols and um like how to take it, when to take it, how much to take.

Craig Salazar
02:55:27.087 --> 02:55:34.433
And, you know, it's kind of the type of thing where you start out slower and find where you're like the proper doses for you, depending upon.

Craig Salazar
02:55:34.433 --> 02:55:36.605
So I took different amount than Stephanie took.

Craig Salazar
02:55:36.605 --> 02:55:38.416
so, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:55:39.092 --> 02:55:41.697
How many sessions did you guys do?

Craig Salazar
02:55:42.687 --> 02:55:48.202
I think altogether I did, I want to say four or five sessions.

Craig Salazar
02:55:48.202 --> 02:55:50.183
It might have only been three or four too.

Craig Salazar
02:55:50.183 --> 02:56:01.683
There's so much of it that because of the, um, the amount of like healing and processing that's taking place, I don't have clear memories of hard facts.

Craig Salazar
02:56:01.683 --> 02:56:02.974
I never really do.

Craig Salazar
02:56:02.974 --> 02:56:05.936
My memory tends to work in a much more kind of abstract way.

Craig Salazar
02:56:05.936 --> 02:56:11.671
So I feel like it was three or four sessions and, and then an end of, and then a

Craig Salazar
02:56:11.671 --> 02:56:13.026
group session as well.

Craig Salazar
02:56:13.026 --> 02:56:19.620
So we did the couple session which was, it was fun but it wasn't, you know, we didn't solve any great mysteries that day.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:56:19.620 --> 02:56:27.883
And then did you guys continue to do your own therapy separate from these sessions like that you were doing before?

Craig Salazar
02:56:28.005 --> 02:56:33.597
yeah, in between the sessions, we would still maintain uh appointments and weekly appointments and stuff like that.

Craig Salazar
02:56:33.597 --> 02:56:45.070
So altogether, it was over a year of doing this type of work with our therapists where it would be, you know, weekly calls, weekly group, not group, but individual sessions.

Craig Salazar
02:56:45.070 --> 02:56:53.073
And then every few months when it was time and it felt appropriate based upon where we were at, then, OK, let's get it scheduled.

Craig Salazar
02:56:53.073 --> 02:56:54.273
We can do this.

Craig Salazar
02:56:54.475 --> 02:56:59.306
the third Friday next month and then they would come out to the house and we would do a session.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:56:59.596 --> 02:57:02.803
And then were you done after that and you guys were good?

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:57:05.130 --> 02:57:09.067
Like did you resolve pretty much what you were trying to resolve?

Craig Salazar
02:57:09.067 --> 02:57:10.048
Yeah, we healed it all.

Craig Salazar
02:57:10.048 --> 02:57:11.259
We're 100 % healed.

Craig Salazar
02:57:11.259 --> 02:57:12.310
We fixed it.

Craig Salazar
02:57:12.310 --> 02:57:13.581
We're all squared away now.

Craig Salazar
02:57:13.581 --> 02:57:17.564
um Turns out it just took a year of MDMA and now we're all fixed.

Craig Salazar
02:57:17.564 --> 02:57:21.487
uh In some ways, yes, we are.

Craig Salazar
02:57:21.487 --> 02:57:24.409
We're completely different than we were before all of that.

Craig Salazar
02:57:24.409 --> 02:57:33.957
It really was a huge catalyst moment for both of us and started us down a completely different path of healing where we had to...

Craig Salazar
02:57:33.957 --> 02:57:39.221
It's almost like before we were trying to survive and now we got to the spot where

Craig Salazar
02:57:41.061 --> 02:57:47.283
by seeing and recognizing and experiencing all the things and seeing our life now through a different lens and a different perspective.

Craig Salazar
02:57:47.283 --> 02:57:56.856
Now it was like, I I'm going to change my life and create the life that I want to create, which is basically what we've been doing from that point on.

Craig Salazar
02:57:57.686 --> 02:57:59.834
it was, it was the reason why we moved.

Craig Salazar
02:57:59.834 --> 02:58:04.928
Um, it was a big catalyst for us moving and getting out of that city and getting out of that town.

Craig Salazar
02:58:04.928 --> 02:58:07.549
um, I needed to get away from my mom.

Craig Salazar
02:58:07.549 --> 02:58:08.909
needed to move.

Craig Salazar
02:58:09.321 --> 02:58:11.621
And so it was.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:58:11.621 --> 02:58:14.068
it opened the door to your authentic life.

Craig Salazar
02:58:14.079 --> 02:58:15.376
Very much so.

Craig Salazar
02:58:15.376 --> 02:58:16.968
That's a good way to say it.

Craig Salazar
02:58:16.968 --> 02:58:17.409
yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:58:17.409 --> 02:58:19.799
And so what made you choose Tennessee?

Craig Salazar
02:58:20.651 --> 02:58:22.202
It was really random.

Craig Salazar
02:58:22.342 --> 02:58:24.801
came time to like the decision.

Craig Salazar
02:58:24.801 --> 02:58:27.545
We made the decision that we were going to sell our house and move.

Craig Salazar
02:58:27.545 --> 02:58:30.977
at the time, the housing market in Utah was just exploding.

Craig Salazar
02:58:30.977 --> 02:58:40.252
It was like during that really crazy time where, you know, you'd hear stories of like people showing up with briefcase full of cash and, you know, they're paying you hundreds

Craig Salazar
02:58:40.252 --> 02:58:42.323
of thousand dollars over your asking price.

Craig Salazar
02:58:42.323 --> 02:58:46.265
And we barely caught the tell end of that.

Craig Salazar
02:58:46.265 --> 02:58:49.697
So we were able to make a nice chunk of change off of our house.

Craig Salazar
02:58:49.921 --> 02:58:53.443
But it was at the end when everything was starting to really crash.

Craig Salazar
02:58:53.443 --> 02:59:03.489
So we listed our house and then just kind of over the months watched the price continue to drop, which meant we went from wanting to live in Oregon and Washington and Colorado and

Craig Salazar
02:59:03.489 --> 02:59:04.889
stay out West.

Craig Salazar
02:59:04.910 --> 02:59:12.914
And as the housing market continued to lower and we kept lowering the price of the house, we're like, well, now we got to look East.

Craig Salazar
02:59:12.914 --> 02:59:17.747
And I had some friends that had moved out here to Tennessee and they liked it.

Craig Salazar
02:59:17.747 --> 02:59:24.779
And we knew we didn't want to go to snow and we knew that we didn't want, um, like have to deal with hurricanes and stuff like that.

Craig Salazar
02:59:24.779 --> 02:59:27.158
Stephanie was like, I don't want to deal with hurricanes.

Craig Salazar
02:59:27.158 --> 02:59:30.791
I don't want to deal with tornadoes and we don't want to deal with crazy ass winters.

Craig Salazar
02:59:30.791 --> 02:59:34.362
Cause we were tired of winters from spending our whole life in Utah.

Craig Salazar
02:59:34.362 --> 02:59:39.413
And so Tennessee was kind of on the map, but truthfully, I was looking all over the country every morning.

Craig Salazar
02:59:39.413 --> 02:59:42.624
I would wake up and drink coffee and search for housing.

Craig Salazar
02:59:42.624 --> 02:59:47.185
And you know, we wanted a little bit of land and we wanted a nice house and we wanted to be.

Craig Salazar
02:59:47.393 --> 02:59:51.219
you know, half hour, 40 minutes from some big city, but we didn't want to live in a city.

Craig Salazar
02:59:51.219 --> 02:59:53.824
We wanted to live a little bit more like we're accustomed to.

Craig Salazar
02:59:53.824 --> 02:59:59.132
We like living out in rural small town area where it's quiet and peaceful.

Craig Salazar
02:59:59.173 --> 02:59:59.400
So.

GenX Adulting Podcast
02:59:59.400 --> 03:00:04.202
part of your life, though, that you could wake up in the morning, make coffee and be like, where do we want to live?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:00:04.202 --> 03:00:05.878
I mean, that's so cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:00:05.878 --> 03:00:08.370
Yeah, that's such a unique experience.

Craig Salazar
03:00:08.370 --> 03:00:15.794
it really was and it is and I'm getting to the point because it's a few years out now where I can see it through that lens.

Craig Salazar
03:00:15.794 --> 03:00:17.895
But truthfully, it was all trauma.

Craig Salazar
03:00:17.895 --> 03:00:19.716
It was so hard.

Craig Salazar
03:00:19.716 --> 03:00:26.900
It was such a life change because we went from COVID and COVID changed everything for us on one hand.

Craig Salazar
03:00:26.900 --> 03:00:32.843
I went from traveling and being on the road two or three times a month to not.

Craig Salazar
03:00:32.843 --> 03:00:36.127
So suddenly I was home all the time, which meant

Craig Salazar
03:00:36.127 --> 03:00:41.561
all the shit that we had not really been addressing and facing and processing and dealing with.

Craig Salazar
03:00:41.642 --> 03:00:46.866
Now we had to face it and process it and deal with it and enter in all the therapy.

Craig Salazar
03:00:46.866 --> 03:00:55.132
And then as soon as the therapy kind of like reached its catalyst point, then it was like, we're getting the hell out of here and we're moving.

Craig Salazar
03:00:55.132 --> 03:00:57.414
I have to get out of this city.

Craig Salazar
03:00:57.614 --> 03:01:01.313
And so it was really, really traumatic time for us.

Craig Salazar
03:01:01.313 --> 03:01:04.195
We had to put down a dog.

Craig Salazar
03:01:04.195 --> 03:01:06.357
uh When Stephanie and I met, she had a dog.

Craig Salazar
03:01:06.357 --> 03:01:07.777
Her name was Angel.

Craig Salazar
03:01:07.798 --> 03:01:10.580
And Angel was, I mean, her name fit perfectly.

Craig Salazar
03:01:10.580 --> 03:01:13.461
She was just the most incredible dog ever.

Craig Salazar
03:01:13.522 --> 03:01:17.185
And she hung on and hung on and hung on.

Craig Salazar
03:01:17.185 --> 03:01:22.908
she was 18 years old when we finally, it was like she would not go.

Craig Salazar
03:01:23.129 --> 03:01:24.429
She was a pit.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:01:25.631 --> 03:01:26.631
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:01:26.851 --> 03:01:29.301
Yeah, she was just, she's.

Craig Salazar
03:01:29.301 --> 03:01:35.344
She's probably, even though I love my Huskies and I can like hear my Huskies in the background, like, don't say she's your favorite.

Craig Salazar
03:01:35.344 --> 03:01:38.925
She was just so special and so magical.

Craig Salazar
03:01:39.105 --> 03:01:41.426
And so we had to put her down.

Craig Salazar
03:01:41.887 --> 03:01:45.658
We had to like completely remodel our house in order to sell it.

Craig Salazar
03:01:45.658 --> 03:01:51.731
We had bought in this old kind of like Victorian style house that this old couple had built as their dream house.

Craig Salazar
03:01:51.731 --> 03:01:56.397
So every room was like different carpeting and wallpaper and different paint and

Craig Salazar
03:01:56.397 --> 03:02:03.782
crazy light fixtures and it was just this really weird house that we learned like we fell in love with and really loved.

Craig Salazar
03:02:03.782 --> 03:02:09.266
But when it came time to sell it, like it's a you know, it's such a weird house to sell.

Craig Salazar
03:02:09.266 --> 03:02:14.089
the real estate agent was like, you guys should probably paint and get some carpet.

Craig Salazar
03:02:14.089 --> 03:02:16.261
So that meant like stripping wallpaper.

Craig Salazar
03:02:16.261 --> 03:02:18.232
So every day it was painting and repairing.

Craig Salazar
03:02:18.232 --> 03:02:24.356
And so it was just a super chaotic experience on top of also leaving our entire family.

Craig Salazar
03:02:24.356 --> 03:02:26.037
We both grew up there.

Craig Salazar
03:02:26.113 --> 03:02:29.235
all of our friends, all of our family, our daughters.

Craig Salazar
03:02:29.236 --> 03:02:31.077
So it was just horrendous.

Craig Salazar
03:02:31.077 --> 03:02:43.538
And then coming here, essentially we were just in like this survival state for a year of after we moved here because everything was so new and so raw and we were still so in the

Craig Salazar
03:02:43.538 --> 03:02:49.092
state of just healing and really repairing and recovering.

Craig Salazar
03:02:49.092 --> 03:02:55.177
So it's taking us a while to really settle into this space and start to feel comfortable, but slowly

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:02:55.492 --> 03:02:56.982
Are you there now?

Craig Salazar
03:02:56.982 --> 03:02:58.523
yeah, we're almost there.

Craig Salazar
03:02:58.523 --> 03:03:03.606
We're getting closer and closer to the spot where it's just like, we really love Tennessee.

Craig Salazar
03:03:03.606 --> 03:03:06.228
There's so many things about it that are incredible and amazing.

Craig Salazar
03:03:06.228 --> 03:03:14.793
um And then it's kind of like we've made peace with, you know, not being able to see our daughters as much as we would like.

Craig Salazar
03:03:14.793 --> 03:03:20.587
We flew them out last year when our son graduated high school and we flew all the girls out for a week and

Craig Salazar
03:03:20.791 --> 03:03:23.393
got to see graduation together and kind of palled around.

Craig Salazar
03:03:23.393 --> 03:03:27.406
We went on vacation with essentially with them here in Tennessee, which was really fun.

Craig Salazar
03:03:27.406 --> 03:03:31.928
But that's a really hard component is not being able to just see our kids.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:03:31.928 --> 03:03:33.423
Absolutely.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:03:33.423 --> 03:03:37.374
did they live in the same town as you guys before you left?

Craig Salazar
03:03:37.390 --> 03:03:39.201
they didn't live in Grantsville anymore.

Craig Salazar
03:03:39.201 --> 03:03:41.393
All the girls lived in Salt Lake.

Craig Salazar
03:03:41.393 --> 03:03:47.669
so they were, you know, they all had their own lives and were doing their own things, but we still saw them all the time.

Craig Salazar
03:03:47.669 --> 03:03:48.698
Do you know what mean?

Craig Salazar
03:03:48.698 --> 03:03:52.440
Consistently were hanging out and running around.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:03:52.440 --> 03:03:56.265
the biggest challenge, I would think.

Craig Salazar
03:03:56.265 --> 03:03:57.105
Mm-hmm.

Craig Salazar
03:03:57.105 --> 03:04:06.132
Yeah, it really was all of our like extended family and friends and things like that, you know, that's That's kind of just like okay.

Craig Salazar
03:04:06.132 --> 03:04:08.064
Yeah, this is the phase of life where we're moving.

Craig Salazar
03:04:08.064 --> 03:04:19.082
We're gonna miss everybody by And then some like I didn't have as much of a hard time with my family because I've really I've really distanced myself from my family because of the

Craig Salazar
03:04:19.082 --> 03:04:24.225
toxicity in the way that I see it all now and So it wasn't really difficult for me

Craig Salazar
03:04:24.569 --> 03:04:32.767
on one hand, then there's also just been tons of still emotional processing that I constantly am navigating and trying to get through.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:04:32.984 --> 03:04:36.307
Was that the catalyst really in the move?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:04:36.307 --> 03:04:45.643
that your healing is only going to go so far and um maybe not even take full route if you stayed there?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:04:45.643 --> 03:04:49.346
If you stayed there, you needed to literally physically move away.

Craig Salazar
03:04:49.453 --> 03:04:52.013
Yeah, I really think so.

Craig Salazar
03:04:52.073 --> 03:04:59.873
A sense it's, you know, at the time I didn't, uh, I wouldn't have been able to kind of like articulate it this way, but since then it's really clear to me that it's, it's kind

Craig Salazar
03:04:59.873 --> 03:05:04.713
of the adage of like, you, you can't heal in the environment that you were hurt in.

Craig Salazar
03:05:04.713 --> 03:05:09.073
You have to get out of that environment in order to start healing from it.

Craig Salazar
03:05:09.073 --> 03:05:16.713
And I was just so enmeshed in all of it that I couldn't see, you know, and Stephanie is the same way she.

Craig Salazar
03:05:16.737 --> 03:05:23.432
has her own journey and her own path and the things that she's uncovered and processed and um everything that she's gone through.

Craig Salazar
03:05:23.432 --> 03:05:33.570
And it's the same thing where there was just shadows everywhere we went from everything, from my childhood, from our relationship, from my time as a police officer.

Craig Salazar
03:05:33.570 --> 03:05:37.292
We're still living in the same area in the community and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
03:05:37.292 --> 03:05:44.017
So it was just so much to kind of continually try to have to carry and bear the weight of that.

Craig Salazar
03:05:44.141 --> 03:05:48.383
You know, it almost seems like the only way that we would have gotten through it is if we got out of it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:05:48.472 --> 03:05:50.263
It was a uh true unpacking.

Craig Salazar
03:05:50.263 --> 03:05:52.923
Yeah, it was true unpacking.

Craig Salazar
03:05:52.923 --> 03:05:53.333
it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:05:53.333 --> 03:05:58.915
And honestly, kudos to you two for having the courage to do it because so many people don't.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:05:58.915 --> 03:06:01.536
And the fact that you took that step.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:01.536 --> 03:06:13.319
And I think that, again, is such a great example to those of us who are in our 40s and in our 50s and are in our 60s that you're still living life like life is happening.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:13.319 --> 03:06:16.940
It's still a high quality, authentic life.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:16.950 --> 03:06:23.044
It's a you can thrive, you can continue to thrive as you age.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:23.044 --> 03:06:28.248
It's up to you, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:28.248 --> 03:06:36.213
But a lot of times that thriving requires to be uncomfortable, know, being uncomfortable is what's going to create that growth.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:36.213 --> 03:06:40.906
And I just think you guys are such a great example of continuing to do that.

Craig Salazar
03:06:41.687 --> 03:06:42.399
Thank you.

Craig Salazar
03:06:42.399 --> 03:06:43.281
I appreciate that.

Craig Salazar
03:06:43.281 --> 03:06:46.027
And it's been very uncomfortable.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:46.028 --> 03:06:48.575
Yeah, honestly, and leaving your kids.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:48.575 --> 03:06:49.788
That's like the hardest thing ever.

Craig Salazar
03:06:49.788 --> 03:06:50.719
Right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:50.741 --> 03:06:53.165
But you're such a great example to them.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:06:53.328 --> 03:06:54.349
know.

Craig Salazar
03:06:54.349 --> 03:07:05.958
a big, I mean, that's always been, ever since I've had kids, that's always been kind of like a North Star for me, is it's like, I understood that the way that we all learn is

Craig Salazar
03:07:05.958 --> 03:07:07.158
just by seeing, right?

Craig Salazar
03:07:07.158 --> 03:07:10.361
We mirror our parents, we learn by watching.

Craig Salazar
03:07:10.361 --> 03:07:20.828
And if there's things that I really would want my kids to choose for themselves and to experience in their life, the best way for me to hopefully ensure that that happens, or at

Craig Salazar
03:07:20.828 --> 03:07:22.877
least set them up for that to happen,

Craig Salazar
03:07:22.877 --> 03:07:27.459
is go first, give them something to see and something to mirror.

Craig Salazar
03:07:27.501 --> 03:07:34.127
And that was a yeah, a thing that helped when it was really, really hard.

Craig Salazar
03:07:34.127 --> 03:07:35.818
And I believe it wholeheartedly.

Craig Salazar
03:07:35.818 --> 03:07:40.652
And we see like that trickle down effect with our kids now.

Craig Salazar
03:07:40.652 --> 03:07:45.716
And I'm sure we'll continue to see it em as they continue to grow up and get older and older, right?

Craig Salazar
03:07:45.716 --> 03:07:46.997
Cause they're all...

Craig Salazar
03:07:46.999 --> 03:07:54.623
They're all in their 20s right now and they're making decisions and they're seeing life in certain ways and they're starting to experience all of those fun things that you

Craig Salazar
03:07:54.623 --> 03:07:58.615
experience at that phase where you start to make decisions about how you want your life to go.

Craig Salazar
03:07:58.615 --> 03:08:03.067
And we hope that we've given them more, like there's more that exists, right?

Craig Salazar
03:08:03.067 --> 03:08:04.808
You don't just have to stay stuck in Utah.

Craig Salazar
03:08:04.808 --> 03:08:06.759
You don't just have to still do this thing.

Craig Salazar
03:08:06.759 --> 03:08:11.861
You're not, you know, stuck in this place just because that's where you were born.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:11.874 --> 03:08:21.922
Yeah, if they're going to truly believe that there's many chapters to their journey, we have to show them we are continuing with our chapters, you know, that we're not getting

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:21.922 --> 03:08:23.274
stuck in one chapter.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:23.274 --> 03:08:26.496
We have to be the example of modeled behavior of that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:26.496 --> 03:08:30.650
And um because they are going to get out of their 20s, their 20s is when their frontal lobe closes.

Craig Salazar
03:08:30.650 --> 03:08:31.180
Right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:31.180 --> 03:08:32.802
So there's so much going on there.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:32.802 --> 03:08:36.365
And then they are going to enter into their 30s and really look around.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:36.365 --> 03:08:40.632
And um and I think it is our responsibility to continue to show them.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:40.632 --> 03:08:43.074
No matter how old you get, life continues on.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:43.074 --> 03:08:53.861
And I think our I think our our generation Gen X and I millennial are the first two generations that will show that because the generations before us kind of accepted this.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:53.861 --> 03:08:57.284
Not all everyone, but in general, kind of accepted this.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:57.284 --> 03:08:58.314
Now we settle down.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:08:58.314 --> 03:09:00.216
Now we sit in our lazy boy.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:09:00.216 --> 03:09:03.027
Now we sit on the porch and we kind of just wait.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:09:03.288 --> 03:09:06.330
And we're all saying, fuck that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:09:06.971 --> 03:09:09.303
I feel like we're living more now than.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:09:09.303 --> 03:09:10.102
we have in yours.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:09:10.102 --> 03:09:11.542
Yeah, honestly.

Craig Salazar
03:09:11.735 --> 03:09:13.827
Yeah, I feel like that's what we're entering into.

Craig Salazar
03:09:13.827 --> 03:09:16.849
Like when we turned 40, Steph's a year older than I am.

Craig Salazar
03:09:16.910 --> 03:09:21.514
And so we kind of, you know, match each other in progression to some extent.

Craig Salazar
03:09:21.514 --> 03:09:26.508
But it really feels like we're at a phase of life now where we're entering into the best part of it.

Craig Salazar
03:09:26.508 --> 03:09:32.303
Like this is when things start to get really exciting because we're not fucked up anymore.

Craig Salazar
03:09:32.303 --> 03:09:39.039
Like we have such awareness now where we're not recreating patterns of chaos and turmoil.

Craig Salazar
03:09:39.039 --> 03:09:42.552
And we also haven't just given up that we're like, well, this is it.

Craig Salazar
03:09:42.552 --> 03:09:45.404
We're just going to hang out and, you know, this is life.

Craig Salazar
03:09:45.404 --> 03:09:48.456
We're really excited by life and what's coming next.

Craig Salazar
03:09:48.456 --> 03:09:52.760
And, you know, we're doing all of these things that we're passionate about.

Craig Salazar
03:09:52.760 --> 03:09:54.232
And that's exciting.

Craig Salazar
03:09:54.232 --> 03:09:57.994
We're choosing to live an authentic life, but we're being the example of that.

Craig Salazar
03:09:57.994 --> 03:10:01.755
Instead of just talking about it, we're saying, look, we're doing it.

Craig Salazar
03:10:01.755 --> 03:10:03.796
Like we're living our authentic life.

Craig Salazar
03:10:03.796 --> 03:10:11.720
And I think it's so important that we all keep talking about it because that's the only way it's going to spread.

Craig Salazar
03:10:12.540 --> 03:10:15.091
And to show people it's completely acceptable and OK.

Craig Salazar
03:10:15.091 --> 03:10:15.537
I'm sorry.

Craig Salazar
03:10:15.537 --> 03:10:16.397
Did you want to say something?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:10:16.397 --> 03:10:18.063
No, I'm just curious.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:10:18.203 --> 03:10:20.962
Do you think it was those MDMAs?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:10:20.962 --> 03:10:26.628
or ecstasy sessions that really was the breakthrough for both of you individually and then together.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:10:26.830 --> 03:10:29.276
Sounds like that really was a breakthrough.

Craig Salazar
03:10:29.599 --> 03:10:31.139
Yeah, it really was.

Craig Salazar
03:10:31.139 --> 03:10:39.704
like, it's it's I mean, like if you zoom out and, you know, like if we were to look at it from above, there's very much that moment in time.

Craig Salazar
03:10:39.704 --> 03:10:42.145
And then everything after that was different.

Craig Salazar
03:10:42.145 --> 03:10:45.472
It was such a significant awakening, I guess.

Craig Salazar
03:10:45.472 --> 03:10:50.160
I don't even know how you want to, you know, we could frame it and verbalize it and describe it in so many different ways.

Craig Salazar
03:10:50.160 --> 03:10:56.535
But it was a huge transition moment because it was a clear delineation where you could I couldn't

Craig Salazar
03:10:56.535 --> 03:11:03.869
proceed in life now as the way that I had before this because I had the information that I had now.

Craig Salazar
03:11:03.869 --> 03:11:11.362
So it was up to, if I chose to ignore this information now, then I would be choosing to go towards all the pain and suffering again.

Craig Salazar
03:11:11.362 --> 03:11:17.135
It was a very clear decision and action based off of this experience.

Craig Salazar
03:11:17.135 --> 03:11:19.285
So I very much credit the MDMA.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:11:19.285 --> 03:11:20.723
Yeah, there wasn't any going back.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:11:20.723 --> 03:11:23.177
you had full clarity, so there was no going back.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:11:23.177 --> 03:11:28.875
Now, were there any oh other types of microdosing that you guys did or do?

Craig Salazar
03:11:28.875 --> 03:11:31.951
We were doing psilocybin at the same time.

Craig Salazar
03:11:31.951 --> 03:11:39.475
So during that time period, so all along the way we were microdosing psilocybin at the same time.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:11:39.746 --> 03:11:39.956
OK.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:11:39.956 --> 03:11:46.913
So would you do that during the sessions or were you doing doing that like through the week before your session?

Craig Salazar
03:11:46.913 --> 03:11:48.684
Yeah, so we were just doing it all the time.

Craig Salazar
03:11:48.684 --> 03:11:51.777
So we had a protocol for the micro dosing as well.

Craig Salazar
03:11:51.817 --> 03:11:56.361
And each of us took a different amount because again, it's all tolerance based and everything.

Craig Salazar
03:11:56.361 --> 03:12:03.807
And it was just a small amount of psilocybin that we were taking in the form of mushrooms and taking those every day.

Craig Salazar
03:12:03.807 --> 03:12:13.525
But if I remember right, we would do like, I can't remember if we did like three on one off or if we did five on two off, but we would give ourselves a little break.

Craig Salazar
03:12:13.525 --> 03:12:15.905
But it was essentially every day.

Craig Salazar
03:12:15.905 --> 03:12:18.726
for over a year that we were microdosing at the same time.

Craig Salazar
03:12:18.726 --> 03:12:30.429
And that was a really, think that was like, to me, that's a perfect combination that really worked for me, the MDMA and then the microdosing, because the microdosing I feel

Craig Salazar
03:12:30.429 --> 03:12:35.011
based off of not just my experience, but also all the research and the understanding.

Craig Salazar
03:12:35.011 --> 03:12:42.563
And I've listened to like hundreds of hours of podcasts about, you know, the really smart, intelligent people talking about psilocybin and psychedelics and all the things that they

Craig Salazar
03:12:42.563 --> 03:12:43.653
do for us.

Craig Salazar
03:12:43.783 --> 03:12:51.197
And it's helping to repair neural pathways and helping to heal those parts of my brain that were so massively affected by trauma.

Craig Salazar
03:12:51.197 --> 03:12:54.018
And that stuff was much subtler.

Craig Salazar
03:12:54.179 --> 03:13:05.665
And we started to see that and experience that the longer that it was, it was like suddenly it's like literally just your emotional regulation starts to shift and change.

Craig Salazar
03:13:05.665 --> 03:13:13.669
And the ability for me to communicate started to shift and change and like just, yeah, it was just a healing experience across the board.

Craig Salazar
03:13:13.675 --> 03:13:16.987
I really credit both of those things and the psilocybin as well.

Craig Salazar
03:13:16.987 --> 03:13:30.294
And I still use, um I don't use MDMA anymore, but uh I'm still using marijuana a lot from that avenue of the way that it helps me on the healing process.

Craig Salazar
03:13:30.294 --> 03:13:33.636
I use it a lot to process things and it's still a huge advocate.

Craig Salazar
03:13:33.636 --> 03:13:40.860
And then we'll still use um psilocybin, but not in a micro dosing way more than the, we're more dosing with perspective.

Craig Salazar
03:13:40.860 --> 03:13:43.431
We usually do it when we need to do some work.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:13:43.908 --> 03:13:53.314
uh Did you have a lot of experience before this using either marijuana or psilocybin or is this kind of all new?

Craig Salazar
03:13:53.486 --> 03:13:54.367
It was all new.

Craig Salazar
03:13:54.367 --> 03:13:54.587
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:13:54.587 --> 03:14:03.012
Growing up, because I grew up in that small little town and because it was the Mormon church and because like, you know, like I didn't even drink alcohol really.

Craig Salazar
03:14:03.012 --> 03:14:05.963
I, you know, dinked around a little bit with alcohol when I was in high school.

Craig Salazar
03:14:05.963 --> 03:14:13.117
Uh, I think I smoked weed once at some party and it was like, I just never had any experience with anything.

Craig Salazar
03:14:13.138 --> 03:14:19.406
And then when marijuana started to get legalized and I was traveling a lot and going to places, I would go up to Portland a lot.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:19.406 --> 03:14:20.177
Yep.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:21.563 --> 03:14:21.936
Yep.

Craig Salazar
03:14:21.936 --> 03:14:24.670
and started using marijuana like that.

Craig Salazar
03:14:24.670 --> 03:14:28.665
And then they eventually legalized it in Utah for medicinal purposes.

Craig Salazar
03:14:28.665 --> 03:14:30.768
And I went through that process and...

Craig Salazar
03:14:30.768 --> 03:14:31.757
um

Craig Salazar
03:14:31.757 --> 03:14:33.077
like a big deal in Utah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:33.077 --> 03:14:34.237
Yeah, right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:35.238 --> 03:14:36.378
Yeah, I don't.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:36.378 --> 03:14:37.168
It's not here.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:37.168 --> 03:14:40.389
I don't think it is medicinally psilocybin.

Craig Salazar
03:14:40.389 --> 03:14:41.249
no, not psilocybin.

Craig Salazar
03:14:41.249 --> 03:14:44.440
I know marijuana is, but um I don't know.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:44.440 --> 03:14:47.401
Oh, OK.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:48.421 --> 03:14:49.441
OK.

Craig Salazar
03:14:50.762 --> 03:14:53.083
Yeah, that's what California, Oregon, Oregon.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:53.083 --> 03:14:54.003
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:14:56.176 --> 03:14:57.316
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:14:57.956 --> 03:15:02.196
So you said you were working at Dream Pods up until last year.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:15:02.456 --> 03:15:04.764
So what did you leave?

Craig Salazar
03:15:08.284 --> 03:15:09.687
No, I got fired from that too.

Craig Salazar
03:15:09.687 --> 03:15:12.262
uh

Craig Salazar
03:15:12.262 --> 03:15:13.205
right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:15:13.205 --> 03:15:14.795
Before COVID, you were traveling.

Craig Salazar
03:15:14.795 --> 03:15:22.793
before COVID I was traveling a bunch, then all that went away with COVID and it really transitioned to where I structured it so that I was able to just stay home.

Craig Salazar
03:15:22.793 --> 03:15:32.692
So we started doing all the installations remotely and, you know, getting on Zoom calls with clients and, and a lot of what I was doing because obviously cells really tanked when

Craig Salazar
03:15:32.692 --> 03:15:41.117
COVID happened and uh people weren't opening up, you know, float tank centers anymore because it wasn't safe to do that anymore.

Craig Salazar
03:15:41.117 --> 03:15:45.399
And um so a lot of what I ended up doing was just uh customer support.

Craig Salazar
03:15:45.399 --> 03:15:47.838
We had so many clients and customers and stuff.

Craig Salazar
03:15:47.838 --> 03:15:53.333
So I just managed all of North America when it came to support and customer relations and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
03:15:53.333 --> 03:15:57.605
And then all some more backend stuff with the company and everything.

Craig Salazar
03:15:57.605 --> 03:16:06.249
But I got to the point where it was a salaried position and I was just working at home and essentially I just kept cutting back on.

Craig Salazar
03:16:06.293 --> 03:16:11.976
my responsibilities there while we continually grew and evolved into what we're doing today.

Craig Salazar
03:16:11.976 --> 03:16:17.539
Cause we started the podcast, we were doing energy is love together.

Craig Salazar
03:16:17.553 --> 03:16:26.765
Um, we were always trying to like work with each other in some capacity of like coaching and working with people, but we could never quite get it to jive and work together.

Craig Salazar
03:16:26.765 --> 03:16:32.289
Stephanie would work with individuals and I would work with individuals and we always kind of had this path together.

Craig Salazar
03:16:32.289 --> 03:16:33.329
And then

Craig Salazar
03:16:33.803 --> 03:16:40.416
We started doing the podcast together, which then led us into social media and creating more content on social.

Craig Salazar
03:16:40.476 --> 03:16:46.378
And then we started uh during that time period when we did uh MDMA and all of that work.

Craig Salazar
03:16:46.878 --> 03:16:56.863
After that, what came on the heels of that was we went through yoga training, but it was this really in-depth program that this couple put on there, the yoga couple.

Craig Salazar
03:16:56.863 --> 03:17:00.644
um That's their name on social, Matt and Ash.

Craig Salazar
03:17:00.644 --> 03:17:02.847
And it was this really like

Craig Salazar
03:17:02.847 --> 03:17:10.144
literally year-long yoga training that we went through that was really focused on inner work and processing and healing.

Craig Salazar
03:17:10.144 --> 03:17:18.192
So yoga was almost like the thing that we did after we got done doing all this deep emotional work.

Craig Salazar
03:17:18.192 --> 03:17:24.938
So we had another big chunk of healing work that we did with each other through that yoga training.

Craig Salazar
03:17:24.999 --> 03:17:27.501
And we came out of that with

Craig Salazar
03:17:27.583 --> 03:17:36.811
not just yoga as a huge asset, which was really beneficial for our healing because of the somatic effect and being able to get into our bodies and the breathing and the healing of

Craig Salazar
03:17:36.811 --> 03:17:45.878
the body uh really, really started to happen after that process and in conjunction with that process, because that was another big thing that was really lacking.

Craig Salazar
03:17:45.878 --> 03:17:51.492
And I think it's lacking for a lot of people is we think way too much and we don't actually feel enough.

Craig Salazar
03:17:51.613 --> 03:17:56.397
And our bodies are in so much discomfort and pain and

Craig Salazar
03:17:56.397 --> 03:18:01.477
It's communicating things that we often ignore and don't pay attention to and don't listen to.

Craig Salazar
03:18:01.617 --> 03:18:04.817
so yoga helped us slow down and get into our bodies.

Craig Salazar
03:18:04.817 --> 03:18:13.157
And we started working with couples and doing couples coaching and relationship work and all of this kind of stuff in conjunction with the podcast.

Craig Salazar
03:18:13.497 --> 03:18:20.717
And then at the end of, it was after we moved here to Tennessee, it was at the end of 23.

Craig Salazar
03:18:21.297 --> 03:18:25.765
We, I started to have this, um,

Craig Salazar
03:18:25.985 --> 03:18:32.050
I've got a really good connection with my intuition and I've learned how to really lean into it and trust it.

Craig Salazar
03:18:32.050 --> 03:18:33.391
It started all the way back.

Craig Salazar
03:18:33.391 --> 03:18:34.832
I mean, truthfully from childhood, right?

Craig Salazar
03:18:34.832 --> 03:18:41.137
We can always see little moments in time, but I learned to really trust my intuition on why I was a police officer.

Craig Salazar
03:18:41.158 --> 03:18:46.783
And so I built a really good relationship with my gut instinct and trusting that part of my body.

Craig Salazar
03:18:46.783 --> 03:18:54.957
And so when it starts to like fire up and say, Hey, you need to start thinking about this, going towards this, paying attention to this, I learned to trust it.

Craig Salazar
03:18:54.957 --> 03:19:08.417
And at the end of 2023, what happened was I started to get the feeling of like we need to stop doing energy is love and rebrand and do a new show that's still going to be energy is

Craig Salazar
03:19:08.417 --> 03:19:08.577
love.

Craig Salazar
03:19:08.577 --> 03:19:11.297
But we're just going to redesign the set and get some new cameras.

Craig Salazar
03:19:11.297 --> 03:19:19.497
Because at the time we were doing audio and I had a GoPro set up to record video and I wanted like this whole setup.

Craig Salazar
03:19:19.537 --> 03:19:24.275
But in order to get this whole setup, what it entailed was we

Craig Salazar
03:19:24.275 --> 03:19:26.646
ended that podcast and put it to bed.

Craig Salazar
03:19:26.646 --> 03:19:29.767
And then we launched this new show, the Steph & Craig show.

Craig Salazar
03:19:29.767 --> 03:19:33.609
And in order for that to happen, we had to put our house up for sale.

Craig Salazar
03:19:33.609 --> 03:19:40.312
So when we moved here to Tennessee, we were able to not put our house up for sale, refinance our house, because we bought our house when we moved here.

Craig Salazar
03:19:40.312 --> 03:19:50.556
And then a year later, we went and refinanced it to get the equity out of it so that we could build this studio and expand into the new podcast and all of what this has entailed,

Craig Salazar
03:19:50.556 --> 03:19:53.868
which has just been, it's just been crazy for us.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:19:53.868 --> 03:19:54.530
It's cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:19:54.530 --> 03:19:57.356
So but why why did they let you go?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:19:58.448 --> 03:19:59.343
From Dream Pod.

Craig Salazar
03:19:59.343 --> 03:19:59.910
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:19:59.910 --> 03:20:07.834
I was already basically I had had set it up to where I was doing less and less and less and less things.

Craig Salazar
03:20:07.834 --> 03:20:11.396
And it got to the point where I was like hardly doing anything.

Craig Salazar
03:20:11.396 --> 03:20:15.818
And the guy was finally like, hey, uh yeah, I got to let you go.

Craig Salazar
03:20:15.818 --> 03:20:17.339
And I'm like, I get it.

Craig Salazar
03:20:17.339 --> 03:20:20.441
I had actually wanted to quit in April of that year.

Craig Salazar
03:20:20.441 --> 03:20:21.311
It was last year.

Craig Salazar
03:20:21.311 --> 03:20:28.385
And I chickened out and I didn't quit because financially we were still in a spot where it wasn't feasible.

Craig Salazar
03:20:28.529 --> 03:20:30.663
and he ended up letting me go in July.

Craig Salazar
03:20:30.663 --> 03:20:35.722
So was meant to happen anyways, but it's very much another blessing.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:20:36.084 --> 03:20:36.729
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:20:36.729 --> 03:20:41.330
how would you describe to someone what the Steph & Craig show is all about?

Craig Salazar
03:20:42.209 --> 03:20:51.975
So it is all about us, and Craig, and it's our lived experience together of navigating and healing together over the course of the past 13 years of our relationship.

Craig Salazar
03:20:52.036 --> 03:20:56.559
So we talk all about our relationship and all about what we're going through and navigating.

Craig Salazar
03:20:56.559 --> 03:21:01.412
We bring on people that are in that space of mental health, emotional health, healing.

Craig Salazar
03:21:01.412 --> 03:21:05.775
And it's currently, like I mentioned earlier, we're kind of evolving right now.

Craig Salazar
03:21:05.775 --> 03:21:08.797
That's what we just did, like episode 80 or something like that.

Craig Salazar
03:21:08.797 --> 03:21:09.468
I can't remember.

Craig Salazar
03:21:09.468 --> 03:21:11.909
um

Craig Salazar
03:21:11.989 --> 03:21:19.065
The first portion of the podcast was, that's what the focus was, was really, because we were coming off the heels of being relationship coaches.

Craig Salazar
03:21:19.065 --> 03:21:26.020
And so we were in the space of working with people and talking about relationship things and healing together and all that kind of stuff.

Craig Salazar
03:21:26.020 --> 03:21:30.003
So that was a big focus and impetus for the show, but we're changing it up now.

Craig Salazar
03:21:30.003 --> 03:21:37.619
We don't quite know what it's going to be moving forward, but it's very much just us basically and our experiences and what we're going through.

Craig Salazar
03:21:37.801 --> 03:21:39.946
and the people that we're interested in talking to.

Craig Salazar
03:21:39.946 --> 03:21:41.980
We wanna have you guys come on the podcast as well.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:21:41.980 --> 03:21:44.835
yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:21:45.378 --> 03:21:47.072
But that's more of what it is now.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:21:47.072 --> 03:21:49.456
So you guys were relationship coaches.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:21:49.456 --> 03:21:54.284
Was that um when you moved to Tennessee or was that before you moved to Tennessee?

Craig Salazar
03:21:54.541 --> 03:21:56.081
It was all around the same timeframe.

Craig Salazar
03:21:56.081 --> 03:21:57.861
We were doing some part of it.

Craig Salazar
03:21:57.861 --> 03:22:02.101
It was basically in its beginning stages before we moved.

Craig Salazar
03:22:02.101 --> 03:22:10.581
And then when we got here and we were able to really settle in after being here for a few months and got to really focus on it is when we really started putting out not just more

Craig Salazar
03:22:10.581 --> 03:22:17.161
content around it, but really started building the infrastructure for it to where we started working with couples and coaching couples together.

Craig Salazar
03:22:17.161 --> 03:22:18.521
And it was great.

Craig Salazar
03:22:18.901 --> 03:22:20.981
We would work with couples.

Craig Salazar
03:22:21.079 --> 03:22:26.674
We'd also work with individuals as well, but when we worked with a couple, we would work with them over the course of three months.

Craig Salazar
03:22:26.715 --> 03:22:30.640
So the first month would be one-on-ones with each of us.

Craig Salazar
03:22:30.640 --> 03:22:37.046
I would work with the husband and Steph would work with the wife, and then we would come together and work with them together.

Craig Salazar
03:22:37.188 --> 03:22:38.608
So it was really, really nice.

Craig Salazar
03:22:38.608 --> 03:22:41.912
I liked how we did it, but it just, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:22:41.912 --> 03:22:45.196
It was kind of the same concept of what you guys went through, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:22:45.196 --> 03:22:46.376
Where are you?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:22:46.578 --> 03:22:52.569
Did you also do em the like MDMA therapy and all that with them?

Craig Salazar
03:22:52.569 --> 03:22:54.601
No, we didn't do the MDMA part with it.

Craig Salazar
03:22:54.601 --> 03:22:58.584
No, all of it was, we never did any in-person coaching with people.

Craig Salazar
03:22:58.584 --> 03:23:02.265
All of our clients were remote clients and stuff like that, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:23:02.265 --> 03:23:15.771
So now um it's going it's basically sharing a lot of what you guys have learned through your healing journey and your life experiences and then having people come on to kind of

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:23:15.771 --> 03:23:18.645
coincide with some of that basically.

Craig Salazar
03:23:18.645 --> 03:23:18.925
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:23:18.925 --> 03:23:21.717
And it's, literally just the stuff that we're interested in.

Craig Salazar
03:23:21.717 --> 03:23:24.808
That's one thing like, and that's the other thing that I like would offer up.

Craig Salazar
03:23:24.808 --> 03:23:33.592
And I'm sure you guys have already started to witness it too, where it's like, once you get past like 10 or 20 episodes of a podcast, it starts to have a life of its own.

Craig Salazar
03:23:33.592 --> 03:23:36.613
And it's like, you're catching up to what it's becoming.

Craig Salazar
03:23:36.613 --> 03:23:43.626
You're constantly always behind the wheel because the podcast is moving out ahead of you becoming what it's supposed to be.

Craig Salazar
03:23:43.626 --> 03:23:46.197
And you're trying to catch up to figure out what that is.

Craig Salazar
03:23:46.397 --> 03:23:46.676
And

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:23:46.676 --> 03:23:47.505
so true.

Craig Salazar
03:23:47.505 --> 03:23:49.796
about the time where you're like, we got this figured out.

Craig Salazar
03:23:49.796 --> 03:23:51.297
Then it's like, no, you don't.

Craig Salazar
03:23:51.297 --> 03:23:53.709
And it keeps going and keeps going and keeps evolving.

Craig Salazar
03:23:53.709 --> 03:23:57.291
So we're at that phase now where we're evolving into something new.

Craig Salazar
03:23:57.291 --> 03:24:01.062
And truthfully, it comes in conjunction with our evolution and with our growth.

Craig Salazar
03:24:01.062 --> 03:24:08.337
We feel so much more genuinely, authentically who we are than we've ever been before.

Craig Salazar
03:24:08.337 --> 03:24:17.153
And it almost doesn't match who we presented when we started the Steph & Craig show last year, because we launched in May of 2024.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:17.197 --> 03:24:17.950
Okay.

Craig Salazar
03:24:17.950 --> 03:24:20.353
we're different people today.

Craig Salazar
03:24:20.353 --> 03:24:25.758
So it's kind of this interesting phase for us where not quite sure what it's going to be looking like.

Craig Salazar
03:24:25.758 --> 03:24:32.796
We know that it's still something that we're excited by and it's evolving, but it's in a transitory state right now.

Craig Salazar
03:24:32.796 --> 03:24:35.979
So it's kind of fun to just see what's happening next.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:36.024 --> 03:24:38.775
Well, I think it's em it's very fluid, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:38.775 --> 03:24:42.116
Like the whole process, the whole journey is very fluid.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:42.116 --> 03:24:47.047
So and but you guys have gone on such a healing journey.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:47.047 --> 03:24:54.689
And I think I mean, you're obviously still probably always on a healing journey, because like you said, once you see it, once you're aware you can't unsee it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:54.689 --> 03:24:58.780
So you're probably always working on stuff, even if it doesn't take a lot of effort.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:24:58.780 --> 03:25:01.921
You're still on top of things and um evolving.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:25:01.921 --> 03:25:04.872
So it makes sense that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:25:05.344 --> 03:25:09.608
your podcast would also kind of flow with you guys too.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:25:09.608 --> 03:25:12.631
You have so much to share with people.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:25:12.631 --> 03:25:13.922
It's amazing.

Craig Salazar
03:25:14.359 --> 03:25:16.420
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of fun.

Craig Salazar
03:25:16.420 --> 03:25:27.633
The one of the driving forces behind all of it that I have to constantly kind of remind myself of is I think that one of the really unique things that we all get to experience in

Craig Salazar
03:25:27.633 --> 03:25:32.044
relationship with each other and even just this even this experience, right?

Craig Salazar
03:25:32.044 --> 03:25:41.697
The three of us sitting here talking back and forth is you're seeing things about your experience based off of my experience because of the mirroring effect that takes place.

Craig Salazar
03:25:41.897 --> 03:25:42.783
And so

Craig Salazar
03:25:42.783 --> 03:25:51.557
Our goal is always to try to hold up the biggest mirror that we possibly can so that the most people can see themselves in that mirror.

Craig Salazar
03:25:51.557 --> 03:26:00.922
Because that's the thing that really helps us heal is knowing that we're not alone and that we didn't like if we know that somebody else went through what we experienced and

Craig Salazar
03:26:00.922 --> 03:26:07.775
have gone through and they made it out or even if they didn't make it out and they're still in it, like there's something about knowing that you're not alone that's really

Craig Salazar
03:26:07.775 --> 03:26:08.755
important.

Craig Salazar
03:26:08.811 --> 03:26:17.204
So we try to hold up the biggest mirror that we can and in doing so, that means we have to bring the most of ourselves to the page in a sense and kind of show up.

Craig Salazar
03:26:17.204 --> 03:26:29.628
that's the whole game is how authentically us can we be and at the same time not have it be some, know, like we, that's our goal is to always try to be as real as possible.

Craig Salazar
03:26:30.128 --> 03:26:31.809
And it's, it's hard.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:31.929 --> 03:26:32.293
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:32.293 --> 03:26:33.003
think it's the key.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:33.003 --> 03:26:35.434
And I think that if you aren't, people see through it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:35.434 --> 03:26:44.186
um But like you had just said, you know, uh being able to connect with one person or where they feel understood.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:44.186 --> 03:26:54.399
That's one of the reasons that we started this, too, was that um if somebody out there hears something from one of our episodes that helps them not feel so crazy or helps them

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:54.399 --> 03:26:58.724
feel not alone or, you know, gives them some clarity, then it's worth

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:26:58.724 --> 03:27:01.224
all the work, you know, doing it like that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:27:01.224 --> 03:27:06.004
And I love your concept of trying to be the biggest mayor, what you guys are doing for people.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:27:06.004 --> 03:27:10.004
And you have so much wisdom to share from your experiences.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:27:10.004 --> 03:27:16.544
And it's so vast that you guys are going to be I'm sure you're a huge mayor for people.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:27:16.544 --> 03:27:18.784
So it's really, really cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:27:18.944 --> 03:27:23.269
Is your studio in is it on site for you guys?

Craig Salazar
03:27:23.269 --> 03:27:26.071
it's just an extra bedroom in our house.

Craig Salazar
03:27:26.932 --> 03:27:30.936
Yeah, when we moved here, was the office space that the previous people had had.

Craig Salazar
03:27:30.936 --> 03:27:33.808
And immediately we threw the podcast gear in there.

Craig Salazar
03:27:33.808 --> 03:27:38.162
then when we built this whole, because originally it wasn't this whole, you know, setup.

Craig Salazar
03:27:38.162 --> 03:27:42.055
This was something that really came forth and we created it.

Craig Salazar
03:27:42.055 --> 03:27:43.367
And it was like, wow.

Craig Salazar
03:27:43.367 --> 03:27:46.129
When this started happening, it just got bigger and bigger and bigger.

Craig Salazar
03:27:46.129 --> 03:27:48.521
Originally, it was like, we're going to get two cameras.

Craig Salazar
03:27:48.521 --> 03:27:50.945
And I'm like, baby, I really want three cameras.

Craig Salazar
03:27:50.945 --> 03:27:54.997
Like I knew what I wanted from a a technical standpoint.

Craig Salazar
03:27:54.997 --> 03:27:58.068
I knew what I wanted to have the end product look like.

Craig Salazar
03:27:58.068 --> 03:28:02.370
But I also knew from all my years of doing it that it's like that's a lot.

Craig Salazar
03:28:02.370 --> 03:28:05.251
And it also comes with a huge learning curve that I don't have yet.

Craig Salazar
03:28:05.251 --> 03:28:07.992
So it was always like pushing it out, pushing it out.

Craig Salazar
03:28:07.992 --> 03:28:11.193
And finally it came time and and we kept trying to make it small.

Craig Salazar
03:28:11.193 --> 03:28:14.405
Like originally I got some equipment and it was like fifteen hundred dollars.

Craig Salazar
03:28:14.405 --> 03:28:16.936
And I'm like, I'll make it work because that's always what it was.

Craig Salazar
03:28:16.936 --> 03:28:19.947
Is it's like, what do we have that we can make work?

Craig Salazar
03:28:19.979 --> 03:28:25.876
And we tried to make it work and I recorded some content and we did some test shoots and it just looked like shit.

Craig Salazar
03:28:25.876 --> 03:28:27.718
And I was like, this is terrible.

Craig Salazar
03:28:27.718 --> 03:28:28.649
We're not gonna do this.

Craig Salazar
03:28:28.649 --> 03:28:31.271
And so then we had to get serious about it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:28:31.309 --> 03:28:37.081
you once you have something high quality, you're like, let's say you have two high quality cameras, but the third one is in.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:28:37.081 --> 03:28:39.852
So you're not you can't use you need to upgrade the third one.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:28:39.852 --> 03:28:42.853
You can't have you're like, that angle is the worst.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:28:42.853 --> 03:28:46.555
So it's just it once you see it, you cannot.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:28:46.555 --> 03:28:59.616
So through all this journey or maybe your recent journey, has there been any um Gen X or millennial personalities or um authors or actresses or athletes or musicians or

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:28:59.616 --> 03:29:04.034
anyone that's had an impact on you or has inspired you.

Craig Salazar
03:29:05.495 --> 03:29:11.888
Yeah, some of the people that really like there's, you know, I'm not like I'm not super into sports.

Craig Salazar
03:29:11.888 --> 03:29:15.330
um I'm into pickleball and MMA.

Craig Salazar
03:29:15.330 --> 03:29:18.611
um I trained Jiu-Jitsu.

Craig Salazar
03:29:18.611 --> 03:29:19.662
I still train Jiu-Jitsu.

Craig Salazar
03:29:19.662 --> 03:29:22.433
I've been practicing Jiu-Jitsu for over 20 years.

Craig Salazar
03:29:22.433 --> 03:29:25.875
uh I fought a couple of times when I was in my 20s.

Craig Salazar
03:29:25.875 --> 03:29:29.716
So Jiu-Jitsu and MMA has been a real long time passion for me.

Craig Salazar
03:29:29.837 --> 03:29:30.867
What's that?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:29:31.121 --> 03:29:32.524
said don't mess with you.

Craig Salazar
03:29:32.524 --> 03:29:37.116
uh

Craig Salazar
03:29:37.116 --> 03:29:38.848
I'm all about love at this point in life.

Craig Salazar
03:29:38.848 --> 03:29:43.161
But so I'm not really into sports, super into movies and film and everything.

Craig Salazar
03:29:43.161 --> 03:29:47.015
So there's so many actors that have shaped and influenced my journey and my life.

Craig Salazar
03:29:47.015 --> 03:29:49.566
Like I very much can.

Craig Salazar
03:29:50.107 --> 03:29:57.443
I have moments in my life that are directly connected and correlated to movies, and that's just the nature of it.

Craig Salazar
03:29:57.443 --> 03:30:00.404
I mean, I'm just a huge movie buff authors.

Craig Salazar
03:30:00.404 --> 03:30:01.933
I'm not too big of a reader.

Craig Salazar
03:30:01.933 --> 03:30:07.015
uh Some of the people that really shape and influence the healing aspect of my journey.

Craig Salazar
03:30:07.015 --> 03:30:10.245
don't even necessarily think they would, you know, like they're not Gen Xers.

Craig Salazar
03:30:10.245 --> 03:30:11.996
Like Ram Dass isn't a Gen Xer.

Craig Salazar
03:30:11.996 --> 03:30:15.797
uh Carl Jung, shadow working, all those kind of things.

Craig Salazar
03:30:15.797 --> 03:30:17.678
Rick Doblin, but he's not Gen X either.

Craig Salazar
03:30:17.678 --> 03:30:18.628
He's a little bit older.

Craig Salazar
03:30:18.628 --> 03:30:21.639
Yeah, I don't know.

Craig Salazar
03:30:22.079 --> 03:30:26.170
More of like the, like Matt Damon is my favorite actor of all time.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:30:26.170 --> 03:30:28.878
yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:30:28.878 --> 03:30:31.420
I'm pretty sure he's a Gen X or he's an elder millennial.

Craig Salazar
03:30:31.420 --> 03:30:32.311
I think he's a Gen X.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:30:32.311 --> 03:30:33.902
Seems like a too.

Craig Salazar
03:30:33.902 --> 03:30:34.442
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:30:34.442 --> 03:30:35.203
Actually.

Craig Salazar
03:30:35.203 --> 03:30:36.183
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:30:36.944 --> 03:30:38.145
Now he's he's cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:30:38.145 --> 03:30:48.662
What genre movies from like our your childhood, our childhood time, if you had to pick some of the movies that really shaped you, what would you say they were?

Craig Salazar
03:30:49.367 --> 03:30:58.225
So early on, uh real fantasy based stuff like the never ending story, uh obviously Star Wars.

Craig Salazar
03:30:58.225 --> 03:31:04.631
I mean, you can't grow up in the time period, especially with two older brothers and everything and not be a Star Wars fanatic.

Craig Salazar
03:31:04.631 --> 03:31:07.293
we were super into all of those things growing up.

Craig Salazar
03:31:07.293 --> 03:31:11.577
um I'm very much into like...

Craig Salazar
03:31:14.221 --> 03:31:27.201
Yeah, like Braveheart, Last of the Mohicans, actors like Damon and De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio and I'm trying to think.

Craig Salazar
03:31:27.421 --> 03:31:34.361
Some of the movies, like all the gosh, what's the guy that did all the why can't I think of his name?

Craig Salazar
03:31:34.361 --> 03:31:35.741
But he did Ferris Bueller.

Craig Salazar
03:31:35.741 --> 03:31:37.421
He did all of those.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:31:38.141 --> 03:31:41.121
Yeah, not Broderick, though, the guy that directed them.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:31:41.641 --> 03:31:43.694
Yes, John Hughes, all the John Hughes stuff.

Craig Salazar
03:31:43.694 --> 03:31:44.205
yes.

Craig Salazar
03:31:44.205 --> 03:31:46.837
All the John Hughes stuff, all the John Hughes stuff.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:31:46.837 --> 03:31:47.097
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:31:47.097 --> 03:31:51.320
And did you this is more current, but have you seen The Patriot?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:31:52.161 --> 03:31:53.342
That's a good one, too.

Craig Salazar
03:31:53.342 --> 03:31:54.963
Yeah, I love movies.

Craig Salazar
03:31:54.963 --> 03:31:56.264
I love movies.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:31:56.365 --> 03:32:05.892
So um one of my last questions I always ask, but before I ask it, I always look at Brian because he always has other questions before I ask it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:05.892 --> 03:32:08.092
Did you have any other questions?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:08.272 --> 03:32:12.532
I kind of do, but I mean, I'm interested in Jung as well.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:12.532 --> 03:32:13.932
I love Carl Jung.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:13.992 --> 03:32:18.632
If I had a religion, it would probably tend towards his writings.

Craig Salazar
03:32:18.632 --> 03:32:20.512
So I can relate to that.

Craig Salazar
03:32:20.852 --> 03:32:22.232
I'm huge fan of Jung.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:22.552 --> 03:32:23.952
I hope I have too many other questions.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:23.952 --> 03:32:30.392
The one question, more of a comment, is you mentioned how, I'm curious.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:30.392 --> 03:32:32.572
I don't know how to even articulate this, but.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:32.994 --> 03:32:40.208
the podcast, when you do an episode or you have an experience and you meet someone, it kind of, you evolve with it, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:40.208 --> 03:32:42.329
How much has that changed?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:42.329 --> 03:32:43.770
I find it impacting me.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:43.770 --> 03:32:46.852
We've met with some really, really cool people.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:46.852 --> 03:32:47.832
You included.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:47.832 --> 03:32:49.773
You included, obviously, yes.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:49.953 --> 03:32:55.036
And it's always an honor for us to meet new people and for people to share as much as they do with us.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:55.036 --> 03:32:56.667
And it's just tremendous.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:32:56.667 --> 03:33:01.379
And I often leave kind of touched in a sense or reflective and...

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:33:03.138 --> 03:33:04.589
I think it helps me evolve.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:33:04.589 --> 03:33:10.652
And oh I think that helps us evolve as a couple in our podcast.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:33:10.952 --> 03:33:17.005
Are you guys experiencing that same thing and how it drives kind of where you're going in a sense?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:33:17.005 --> 03:33:19.116
Helps steers the ship in a sense.

Craig Salazar
03:33:19.585 --> 03:33:21.025
Yeah, it really, really does.

Craig Salazar
03:33:21.025 --> 03:33:30.768
There's something that's unique to like the experience of it and the format of it because rarely do we have these type of conversations in life, right?

Craig Salazar
03:33:30.768 --> 03:33:34.749
And the ability for people to tune in and listen to these type of conversations.

Craig Salazar
03:33:34.749 --> 03:33:39.351
And I think that there's something about the way that we consume and listen to podcasts.

Craig Salazar
03:33:39.351 --> 03:33:46.873
You you're throwing them in your ears and you're driving and you're commuting or you're doing yard work or dishes like you're consuming information.

Craig Salazar
03:33:47.443 --> 03:33:56.399
at moments in time when your brain is busy doing other things, which means your subconscious is alert and listening and tapped in.

Craig Salazar
03:33:56.399 --> 03:34:06.416
So you're distracted, your conscious mind, but you're picking up things subconsciously and from that other space that, I mean, there's been so many, not just podcasts that we've

Craig Salazar
03:34:06.416 --> 03:34:16.481
experienced with guests and even with each other, like showing up and recording an episode every week when uh with each other is massively impactful.

Craig Salazar
03:34:16.481 --> 03:34:21.394
where we're learning more and more and more consistently about each other and having conversations with each other.

Craig Salazar
03:34:21.394 --> 03:34:31.722
So we really credit the growth of our relationship in conjunction with the podcast because we had a dedicated time every single week that we were sitting down without any

Craig Salazar
03:34:31.722 --> 03:34:34.094
distractions and talking to each other.

Craig Salazar
03:34:34.094 --> 03:34:36.535
So it was really important and beneficial for that.

Craig Salazar
03:34:36.535 --> 03:34:38.637
But I do think that it does change.

Craig Salazar
03:34:38.637 --> 03:34:40.428
Like there's no way that it can't, right?

Craig Salazar
03:34:40.428 --> 03:34:44.715
Because you're showing up and you're having such impactful

Craig Salazar
03:34:44.715 --> 03:34:52.976
conversations with people and it's that whole mirroring thing that I was talking about where that's the beauty of what relationships are and how it goes.

Craig Salazar
03:34:52.976 --> 03:34:55.979
We're supposed to shape and influence each other.

Craig Salazar
03:34:56.020 --> 03:35:02.879
You know, my experience is supposed to help you on your experience and the only way for that to happen is if I share it with you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:02.978 --> 03:35:03.388
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:03.388 --> 03:35:04.109
Yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:04.109 --> 03:35:07.961
And you're sharing it with all of our listeners and with all of your listeners.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:07.961 --> 03:35:10.473
And so the reach just continues and continues.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:10.473 --> 03:35:11.474
And you're right.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:11.474 --> 03:35:13.555
It's putting it all out there.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:13.555 --> 03:35:23.222
I always say, um whatever we create, we want to create it authentically and like to go along with what you allude to with love.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:23.222 --> 03:35:26.474
And then once we put it out there, it's really not ours anymore.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:26.474 --> 03:35:28.615
It belongs to whoever consumes it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:28.615 --> 03:35:32.696
And as long as you have good intentions behind what you created,

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:35:32.696 --> 03:35:38.130
and you did it with love and you did it authentically, you can safely put it out there for people to consume.

Craig Salazar
03:35:38.337 --> 03:35:38.937
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:35:38.937 --> 03:35:39.247
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:35:39.247 --> 03:35:43.890
And that's a whole other fun, like learning curve there as well.

Craig Salazar
03:35:43.890 --> 03:35:47.982
Learning about, your intention that you put out there.

Craig Salazar
03:35:47.982 --> 03:35:49.353
You really have to let go of it.

Craig Salazar
03:35:49.353 --> 03:36:00.068
You have to just say, okay, well, however this is received is however it's received because we get so many people that didn't receive it the way that we thought they would or

Craig Salazar
03:36:00.068 --> 03:36:02.357
respond to a piece of content that

Craig Salazar
03:36:02.357 --> 03:36:11.182
Like, oh, okay, we did not uh see that angle of it, you know, and sometimes it's really clear where they're coming from to like, obviously, some people just have an axe to grind

Craig Salazar
03:36:11.182 --> 03:36:16.215
because they're hurt and in pain, but it's a really fun thing to experience.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:16.215 --> 03:36:24.813
is fun though when it resonates with someone and they actually take it even maybe further than maybe the positivity you were trying to put out there.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:24.813 --> 03:36:27.766
But it really relate to it and it really hits home.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:27.766 --> 03:36:28.887
It's kind of cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:28.887 --> 03:36:30.368
It's amazing really.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:30.368 --> 03:36:33.671
But there are definitely people out there that project.

Craig Salazar
03:36:33.671 --> 03:36:39.586
Yeah, that's how I view it is uh if somebody needs to take the time to really

Craig Salazar
03:36:39.748 --> 03:36:47.388
project something negative, that's just something they're doing it from within themselves and it really has nothing to do with us.

Craig Salazar
03:36:47.867 --> 03:36:49.368
Yeah, that's kind of how I look at it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:49.368 --> 03:36:50.888
So did you have any other?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:50.908 --> 03:36:52.188
I think I'm good.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:36:52.608 --> 03:36:57.468
So my last question is always, where do you see yourself in five years?

Craig Salazar
03:36:59.149 --> 03:37:00.849
You know, I love that question.

Craig Salazar
03:37:01.009 --> 03:37:02.509
I'll be I'll be 49.

Craig Salazar
03:37:02.509 --> 03:37:05.249
So I will almost be 50 in five years.

Craig Salazar
03:37:05.249 --> 03:37:07.209
I just had my 44th birthday.

Craig Salazar
03:37:08.789 --> 03:37:13.149
I well, I shouldn't say I just it was in March, so it wasn't that long ago or it was a while ago.

Craig Salazar
03:37:13.149 --> 03:37:15.609
I I honestly don't know.

Craig Salazar
03:37:15.609 --> 03:37:24.729
I think that we'll still be doing something in the space of what we're doing now just simply because it's so enjoyable.

Craig Salazar
03:37:24.729 --> 03:37:26.489
We like it so much.

Craig Salazar
03:37:26.541 --> 03:37:32.603
um sharing our experiences and being able to communicate with people this way and podcasting and everything like that.

Craig Salazar
03:37:32.603 --> 03:37:43.045
But what I'd like to see actually, and truthfully this might be what it is, is we've been really feeling nomadic lately and wanting to travel way, way more.

Craig Salazar
03:37:43.146 --> 03:37:48.647
And some of our best times together is when we've been able to get away for weekends together.

Craig Salazar
03:37:48.647 --> 03:37:54.729
And back in the day when we had to worry about kids and babysitters and stuff like that, we used to have just the coolest trips together.

Craig Salazar
03:37:55.577 --> 03:38:02.933
Since we've moved here to Tennessee, we've started uh doing that again and going out and spending a few days out and doing different trips.

Craig Salazar
03:38:02.933 --> 03:38:14.652
And our son's old enough now and he's getting himself squared away and set up in life and structured in such a way where what we're starting to picture is uh we can just leave and

Craig Salazar
03:38:14.652 --> 03:38:15.183
hit the road.

Craig Salazar
03:38:15.183 --> 03:38:19.076
Because everything we do, we can pick up and do wherever we want to do it, right?

Craig Salazar
03:38:19.076 --> 03:38:21.197
So ideally, we're going to go and...

Craig Salazar
03:38:21.207 --> 03:38:26.080
travel and explore and set up camp at different places, depending on what we want to do and where we want to stay.

Craig Salazar
03:38:26.080 --> 03:38:34.174
And then he's got a place here in Tennessee that he can live and every now and then mom and dad come home and have to, you know, hang out for a week or two or something like

Craig Salazar
03:38:34.174 --> 03:38:35.044
that.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:38:35.145 --> 03:38:36.065
Yeah, yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:38:36.065 --> 03:38:37.546
So that's kind of what we're envisioning.

Craig Salazar
03:38:37.546 --> 03:38:46.561
And I, I feel like that's the path that we're going towards where we're just going to start traveling a lot more and being a lot more nomadic simply because we have the ability

Craig Salazar
03:38:46.561 --> 03:38:50.559
to, and we have so much fun when we do it and

Craig Salazar
03:38:50.559 --> 03:39:00.133
As far as like, we're really, really blessed that we've created the life that we've created for ourselves because we literally do whatever we want every single day.

Craig Salazar
03:39:00.133 --> 03:39:02.554
We don't ever have to do something that we don't want.

Craig Salazar
03:39:02.554 --> 03:39:08.577
And every now and then we kind of do every now and then life still throws you something that you, you know, we have to go do this thing.

Craig Salazar
03:39:08.577 --> 03:39:12.799
But we've learned over the years that if we don't want to do it, we don't do it.

Craig Salazar
03:39:12.799 --> 03:39:17.081
And the more we just go towards the things that we want to do, a better life gets.

Craig Salazar
03:39:17.081 --> 03:39:17.931
So.

Craig Salazar
03:39:18.079 --> 03:39:28.136
Like we sleep in until like 10 o'clock at night or 10 o'clock in the morning and we wake up and we do yoga outside on our front deck and you know just have the laziest of lazy

Craig Salazar
03:39:28.136 --> 03:39:35.501
days and then if it's a recording day we'll come in and record and it's a really easy way of living and I love it.

Craig Salazar
03:39:35.501 --> 03:39:45.318
So we're just going to perpetually create more of that relaxation and doing things that we want to do and I think it's going to take us out there traveling around and doing

Craig Salazar
03:39:45.318 --> 03:39:45.928
different stuff.

Craig Salazar
03:39:45.928 --> 03:39:47.204
So I'm excited for it.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:39:47.204 --> 03:39:48.164
For sure.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:39:48.164 --> 03:39:50.864
I will tell you, 50 is awesome.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:39:51.684 --> 03:39:53.384
I found it, I think you did.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:39:53.384 --> 03:39:55.724
We found it to be very liberating.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:39:55.964 --> 03:39:58.364
It's been a cool decade.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:39:58.464 --> 03:40:00.404
You're going to love your 50s.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:40:00.404 --> 03:40:02.064
It's so fun.

Craig Salazar
03:40:02.724 --> 03:40:03.724
Yeah.

Craig Salazar
03:40:03.786 --> 03:40:09.269
I'm in this phase right now where I feel like I'm I'm I haven't seen the best version of me yet.

Craig Salazar
03:40:09.269 --> 03:40:15.951
Like health wise, mental health wise, emotionally, spiritually, like I'm entering into the best phase of my life.

Craig Salazar
03:40:15.951 --> 03:40:18.092
So I'm excited for what's coming.

Craig Salazar
03:40:18.092 --> 03:40:20.143
And I feel like Steph feels the same way.

Craig Salazar
03:40:20.143 --> 03:40:24.775
She's I've seen you guys talk about menopause and perimenopause and everything on there.

Craig Salazar
03:40:24.775 --> 03:40:29.867
So she's I mean, that's a big chunk of what's going on with her right now.

Craig Salazar
03:40:29.867 --> 03:40:35.308
which means that's what's going on with me right now because it can't help not be in it.

Craig Salazar
03:40:35.308 --> 03:40:39.335
And I'm excited to see the back end of that as well.

Craig Salazar
03:40:39.335 --> 03:40:42.911
And so I know that that's a big transitory state.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:40:42.911 --> 03:40:44.122
Yeah, it's yeah.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:40:44.122 --> 03:40:46.734
Forties is when I went through it and it's a ride.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:40:46.734 --> 03:40:53.260
ah But uh I will say hormone replacement therapy has been a game changer for me.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:40:53.260 --> 03:40:54.921
And I know it is for a lot of women.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:40:54.921 --> 03:41:00.907
I don't know if she's looked into that, but that's my one piece of advice is that that has been a game changer.

Craig Salazar
03:41:00.907 --> 03:41:02.848
So that's crazy.

Craig Salazar
03:41:03.665 --> 03:41:12.151
we had this thing a couple of years ago when she started, um, when she started not just seeing symptoms and signs, but also started learning about it and educating herself about

Craig Salazar
03:41:12.151 --> 03:41:12.791
it.

Craig Salazar
03:41:12.791 --> 03:41:19.385
And then when I finally like realized what was happening, I went through the process of like, cause I consume through podcasts.

Craig Salazar
03:41:19.385 --> 03:41:21.296
That's how I get all my information.

Craig Salazar
03:41:21.296 --> 03:41:30.771
And so I went down all the rabbit holes and started consuming all the perimenopause and menopause information that I could get so that I could start, not just supporting her, but

Craig Salazar
03:41:30.921 --> 03:41:37.070
Eventually, I like crossed over the hump to where now I'm educating her about what her body's doing and how these things are happening.

Craig Salazar
03:41:37.070 --> 03:41:38.891
And I want her on HRT.

Craig Salazar
03:41:38.891 --> 03:41:40.384
I want her on all of these different projects.

Craig Salazar
03:41:40.384 --> 03:41:44.350
I like I've got a protocol set out for her based off of all of this information.

Craig Salazar
03:41:44.350 --> 03:41:47.758
So it's definitely the spot that I think she's going to get to at some point.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:41:47.758 --> 03:41:48.138
For sure.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:41:48.138 --> 03:41:52.410
And that's amazing that you're being that you are being so involved, so supportive.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:41:52.410 --> 03:42:04.013
um That's that is just such going to make such a difference for you guys, because there's so many times the woman she doesn't even know what's going on, let alone be able to

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:42:04.013 --> 03:42:05.735
explain it to her partner.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:42:05.735 --> 03:42:07.225
And she feels like she's going crazy.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:42:07.225 --> 03:42:08.097
So.

Craig Salazar
03:42:08.097 --> 03:42:14.642
We've seen friends during this phase where they're getting divorced because in some way it's the undercurrent, right?

Craig Salazar
03:42:14.642 --> 03:42:21.038
It's the thing that is really underneath the surface that nobody's addressing and instead it's coming out in all of these other ways.

Craig Salazar
03:42:21.038 --> 03:42:28.474
And so it's like, it's such a significant change that I think, and it's cool to see it come out more and more and more.

Craig Salazar
03:42:28.474 --> 03:42:32.686
All the things that are popping right now with menopause I think are so needed and so important.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:42:32.686 --> 03:42:42.545
Good you're on it though as a guy because I think part of the challenge is I wasn't equipped, Nicole was doing a lot of legwork and research and educated me.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:42:42.545 --> 03:42:45.217
And to your point, either way we're going through it, right?

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:42:45.217 --> 03:42:51.453
As partners we're going through it, but uh it's interesting that you are all over it.

Craig Salazar
03:42:51.453 --> 03:42:52.494
No, it's great.

Craig Salazar
03:42:52.494 --> 03:42:57.318
And I think, you know, the more we all talk about it, it should be talked about.

Craig Salazar
03:42:57.318 --> 03:42:59.860
I want for the younger generations to not.

Craig Salazar
03:43:00.192 --> 03:43:03.234
I want them to know like it should be talked about just like puberty.

Craig Salazar
03:43:03.234 --> 03:43:07.277
Like it should be talked about just because and to your point, it does affect couples.

Craig Salazar
03:43:07.277 --> 03:43:09.599
They need to know this is coming.

Craig Salazar
03:43:09.619 --> 03:43:14.773
So everybody get ready and you will make it through as long as you have the right tools and you're equipped.

Craig Salazar
03:43:14.773 --> 03:43:19.546
But if you go in blind, your marriage could fail, honestly.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:19.646 --> 03:43:24.170
So, yeah, but um that but the fifties.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:24.170 --> 03:43:27.523
Other than that, although that was a lot of my forties.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:27.523 --> 03:43:29.103
The 50s are fun.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:29.103 --> 03:43:33.303
I'm excited for you guys, because I think you guys are going to kill the 40s and then you're going to get to 50.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:33.303 --> 03:43:35.423
You're like, wow, this is so cool.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:35.944 --> 03:43:40.884
so we can't thank you enough for coming on and sharing your story, Craig.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:40.884 --> 03:43:46.324
I know that there's going to be so many people that this resonates with.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:47.085 --> 03:43:51.292
So we just, means a lot to us that you shared so much with us and with our listeners.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:51.292 --> 03:43:53.135
Appreciate how much you shared too, man.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:53.135 --> 03:43:53.956
You're an open book.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:53.956 --> 03:43:55.277
It's awesome.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:43:55.599 --> 03:43:56.490
It's amazing.

Craig Salazar
03:43:56.490 --> 03:43:57.261
you so much, guys.

Craig Salazar
03:43:57.261 --> 03:43:58.091
This has been great.

Craig Salazar
03:43:58.091 --> 03:44:05.715
been, you know, it's taken me a lot of work to get to this spot, to be able to not just share and talk about and process and fill all of these things.

Craig Salazar
03:44:05.715 --> 03:44:08.517
But again, it's the whole thing of like.

Craig Salazar
03:44:09.778 --> 03:44:20.433
My story is probably similar to a lot of people's stories, and there's a lot of things that I've navigated and experience that I know I'm not alone on, and it's stuff that

Craig Salazar
03:44:20.433 --> 03:44:21.964
people don't talk about.

Craig Salazar
03:44:21.964 --> 03:44:25.766
And that's the thing that I really learned, especially in that men's group.

Craig Salazar
03:44:25.798 --> 03:44:30.360
of how important it is to talk about things and to be heard.

Craig Salazar
03:44:30.422 --> 03:44:32.394
And I think it's necessary.

Craig Salazar
03:44:32.394 --> 03:44:34.966
So it's the same old thing of like, we gotta go first.

Craig Salazar
03:44:34.966 --> 03:44:44.985
And if I want my kids to be able to do, you if I want them to be able to heal in their 20s rather than trying to heal in their 40s, then I might as well get the ball rolling.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:44:44.985 --> 03:44:45.245
100%.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:44:45.245 --> 03:44:47.350
No, it's so true.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:44:47.350 --> 03:44:58.369
And for any of our listeners, the Steph and Craig show is on YouTube and Apple and Spotify, and I assume anywhere you can listen to podcasts, correct?

Craig Salazar
03:44:58.402 --> 03:45:00.235
Correct, yeah, you can find it anywhere.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:00.235 --> 03:45:02.957
And then they're on TikTok, they're on Instagram, Facebook.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:02.957 --> 03:45:07.969
We are going to link their socials and where you can listen into the description.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:07.969 --> 03:45:17.075
um But definitely check them out, because if you liked this episode, you're going to love listening to more of what they have to share and what they have to say.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:17.075 --> 03:45:21.557
So, again, thank you, Craig, so much for joining us.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:21.557 --> 03:45:26.910
And um if any of our listeners have any questions or comments, we love to hear from you.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:26.910 --> 03:45:28.421
Please leave them.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:28.459 --> 03:45:35.629
If you have any questions for Craig, we'll make sure that he's aware so he can get back to you and we will see you next time.

GenX Adulting Podcast
03:45:35.629 --> 03:45:36.747
Bye.