Switching Doctors Feels Like Dating And That Is The Problem

Moving, aging, and life changes eventually force almost everyone into a stressful rite of passage: finding a new doctor. On the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast, we talk through why switching providers can feel like dating, complete with first-impression nerves and that uneasy question of whether you can trust someone you just met. The patient experience shifts fast when you leave a familiar office, and you often do not realize what your old provider did well or missed entirely until a new practice runs tests you have never seen. That moment can be reassuring, alarming, or both, especially when you are just trying to stay on top of routine preventive care. How do you know when a “good doctor” is actually good? Listen and tell us your story?

#parkwaydental #dysfunctionjunkiespodcast #AHBS #gooddoctor #dentist #newdoctors #richenseyecenter #stgeorgeutah #woosterohio #mamogram #colonoscopy #healthcare #clevelandclinic #healthcareproviders #preventativecare #waterfloss 

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Topic

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast. We may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough. And now, here are your hosts, Chrissy and Carrie.

New Doctors Feel Like Dating

KERRY 0:20

Hello, Junkies. I'm Carrie. I'm coming at you from St. George, Utah. And I'm Chrissy, and I'm coming from Worcester, Ohio. Worcester. Beautiful. Worcester. Carrie, we got a good one. This is a Carrie one that came up with this idea. I know. Usually Chrissy is our content person, and she's the one who figures out what we're going to talk about. Yeah, but once in a while I come up with something, and we had some things happen this week. So I thought I got to thinking about it. And the more I started writing the notes, the more I'm like, oh, this might actually be a good show. So we're going to talk about new doctors in the some of the dysfunctions of healthcare, which I know back in season one we talked a little bit about the dysfunction of healthcare. But this is like that experience of going to a new doctor. So some doctors retire, some doctors pass away, or maybe you just maybe you move, but times in your life where you have to find a new doctor. We talked about dating our last episode, and I was I thought about this kind of finding a new doctor is like dating.

unknown 1:28

Okay.

The High-Tech Dentist Surprise

Unexpected Diagnoses And Big Price Tags

KERRY 1:28

There's some similarities. I'll let you elaborate on it. Oh, yeah, I can see it. I can kind of feel each other. So what's it's awkward and then we have to find your comfort level. There's that awkward. So so Jim and I, you know, had moved from Ohio to here to St. George, Utah. And one of the things that we needed to get done was it was time for us to get our every six-month teeth cleaning. So we were supposed to go do this right before we left, but our dentists had to cancel for some reason and they just weren't able to get us back in. This was number one priority. I found this really cute little dentist's office. It's like a half mile down the road. And everyone was good reviews, talked about it. So I signed us up to go. It was an experience. So, first of all, sometimes you don't realize how good or how bad your previous doctors were until you go to a new doctor. This was a dentist, right? Okay. We were at this place in Ohio and loved the doctor, loved the staff, thought we were getting decent care. We go every six months for our teeth cleaning and everything. And once a year they shove those little things in your mouth and they do the x-rays, six x-rays, three bing, bing, bing, bing, boom. You get your teeth cleaned, and yeah, really been y'all went there for 13 years. We went to this new doctor. First of all, we walked into this office, and they have a lounge, they've got a coffee bar, there's a refrigerator with soda in it. So they take us back, and the first thing you dotta do is you got a stand. I thought I was gonna get a mammogram because you gotta go in front of this machine that looked very much like the machine that you get mammograms on. These you know, tube things you had to hold on to. And I'm like, wait, this is a tennis. So, anyways, you go up, you hold on to this thing, you gotta bite on it with your mouth, and then this big thing rotates around your head to take x-rays. Tim looks at me, and he goes, We we never had to do this before. New age doctor, okay. Maybe it's so now they don't have to shove the things in your mouth. So then we go back into the chairs, but they still stub the thing is in your mouth to take the x-rays. What's the other thing for? We sit in the chair and they recline you back, and what do you see? It's a TV on the ceiling. So when you're laying back, you're looking at a TV, and they got fun YouTube stuff on there. It's a pretty up-and-coming office. So the doctor comes in and they pull up all the images on the screen that you're laid back looking at, and they start going over everything. Here, that big thing that went around your head was taking like a 3D image of your skull. I'm gonna see if I can pull it up on my phone. I don't know how well this will work, but it was really cool because you could see the whole like skull and everything. So, anyways, we go and they start. Why do they have to have a picture of your whole skull? It doesn't tell you. It told us a lot. Let's see. Let's get by that one. Let's see if I can do this. Maybe not. Can you see that? Why is it flipping? Can you see? But you end up with it on your phone. Because I took a picture of it as I was laying back. I'm like, oh, that's just cool. I need this for the podcast, so that I took a picture of it. They discovered so there it says he, these are all the scans and all the pictures that they took. It looks like you have a root that's infected down here, and and they're like, Oh, nothing hurts, nothing hurts, whatever. Oh, it looks like you know, this tooth is moving, and you got bone loss down here, and we need to do this, and we need to do that. And you mean your other doctor never told you about all this stuff? And it's like, no, needless to say$15,000 worth of ten of work between the two of us. What? And then it's not, it really isn't. It also has to depend on what insurance covers and all that kind of crazy stuff. But in any case, but then they showed me this one picture. It's probably not gonna show up, but this one picture actually shows like my esophagus and everything, and you can see like it's wide, but then it gets real thin. And they're like, Do you have trouble swallowing sometimes? Or do you have do you snore? And like, yeah, you might want to get that checked because it's like almost close. It's like I just can't get my teeth cleaned, and now you're telling me all these things are wrong. But it got me, yeah. It got me thinking though, about this whole thing, and I'm like, Oh my god, and we have to go to eye doctors, and I gotta find new gynecologists, gotta find new regular doctors. Why can't I just can you just clean my teeth? Did they do finally clean your teeth? Oh, yeah, they did that. That was fine. I got an A Jim and I both got an A for our cleaning and our flossing. Yeah, you guys are doing great on that. The surface is fine, it's just world falling apart underneath. But, anyways, it was crazy because it made me think about this whole like do a new doctor, like that again, that initial awkward getting to know each other kind of thing. And all right, and so now I'm like, okay, now we're gonna again gotta find a new girl doctor, gotta find something to do all this. And then there's like that awkward thing about okay, when you gotta go to the gynecologist or go whatever, and gotta strip down, okay, gotta get naked. By the time you've been with another doctor for 20 years, it's okay, yeah, here it is, whatever. But you gotta do a doctor. And then here's the other part we're in our 50s now. These new doctors are like 10. So we'll call for it to be stripping down for the new doctor that's fresh out of his young whipper, good-looking snapper kid that now he's got to talk about my story this week. We've all got new doctor stories to tell this week. What about that when I wrote this down? Oh, do tell. Don't go too in detail, Nick. Scoot into the camera. I wouldn't see visuals.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

No, you're not gonna see visuals, but I will scoot in if you want me to. So hold on.

KERRY 8:02

You don't have pictures for this one then. No, no pictures allowed. I noticed you where's your mic at? How come mine is right here? And you have yours off to the side? Oh, the headphones have everything. Yeah, I can hear you.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Okay. Early in March, I had a kidney stump.

KERRY 8:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

And this is like my second one in the last couple years, and my regular internist, and she said, Yeah, you should probably go see a urologist. I go see a urologist. And uh you know, I could have looked the doctor up online, but I was like, oh, what if they do one of those exams? And I'm like, I hope it's not a like a young woman or something like that. I was because the name, I couldn't tell if it was a male or female from the name of the doctor. So I'm I panicked. I probably could have looked it up and it would have been fine. But the doctor was an older gentleman, but I'm 54, and it was the first time um I've ever had a prostate exam. You can imagine what that entails, obviously. But it's one of those pull your pants down. And it was the first time I met the doctor, so yeah I get that. And it wasn't totally but but I was a little I was a little not uncomfortable, but they did all these other tests too. So they had a they did a bladder scan, and it was it was a nurse, and she had to get real close to some areas. That's Chris. So it was a little odd, but you know, obviously to this appointment. Every now and then I'll get a kidney stone. But at any rate, um, I am late for getting it. Yeah, and I would just this is the uh my help for motion segment of the Dysfunction Junkies podcast. You should but most men should have a prostate exam by the time they're 50 and not wait till they're 54 and have a kidney stone first. But at any rate, so I get that awkwardness, especially the first time this guy met me and he does a digital retinal exam.

KERRY 9:53

Exactly. There we go. So do we need to feel bad for him? Do you want to know?

SPEAKER_03 9:59

All right, I'm leaving now. I'm going back to my boat.

Mammogram Shock And Rough Techniques

KERRY 10:02

How many times have you had things like we've had? And uh I have uh good stories, but I had to go to a new doctor just today, actually. Um and uh no biggie, just uh a specialist in a different area they wanted me just to see. And you have to go through the whole thing for me is uh at this point just having to spill all that information out again, yes. Which is exhausting, it is exhausting. The medications you take, your history. Do you have anybody in your family who has had this or that or whatever? And most everybody in my family is dead, so it's just I don't know, they're dead, they're gone. I do remember I had a couple of stories. Oh, I just recently had to have a mammogram. Oh here. This is the first time I have we've lived here for the last 10 plus years. I was going back to Youngstown, I had my doctor there who I really liked, and he said he was fine with he was the one that delivered all my kids. Yeah. And I really liked him. He's a good doctor. And he said, you can still come here if you want, it's just a once-a-year visit. But he said, if things start going wrong, you need some additional help, you probably want to get somebody close to you. I'm just at that age where you need to see a doctor a little bit more than normal. Yep. And so I had to have my mammogram here this time. Totally different experience. The one back in where we were from was very calm and gentle, and I didn't know what all of the rig and parole was about. Yeah. And it was the same every time. This one, I got put into situations, the machine was a little bit different. It didn't have the handlebars that I could hold on to for dear life, and I was standing in awkward positions, getting squeezed so hard, I sat there and I thought, oh my god, I'm I felt like I was gonna pass out. I know. And I was sore for a couple days afterwards. Oh yeah. And then it was the technician.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

You actually had a bruise.

Skill Versus Bedside Manner

How We Actually Pick Doctors

KERRY 12:14

I believe I did, I had a bruise. Was the tech was the technician rough? And they weren't like, Oh, we're just gonna place you here. Or was it like, oh no, and she was like pushing me, okay, pull your shoulders, stand this way, move that foot that way, blah blah blah. Damn, I did not do dance, honey. I don't know what position, I don't know what you want. It was a little un unhappy and unpleasant. No, so I've you know, I think I've talked about before that I have lupus. So I'm seen often by the doctors up at Cleveland Clinic. And so I was like, How is this gonna work moving out here? And so what was funny is the one doctor said, There's actually someone that is in your area and really good, like all these accolades on their medical experience and where they trained and everything. But then he later on he goes, but this particular doctor doesn't have the best bedside manner, right? Okay, what do I do with them? So you're telling me they they know their stuff, I may not like them because they don't have good bedside. Then no, like I can't. I was like, Why'd you even tell me that? You should have just let me find out on my own. Because now I'm like, oh, I don't know where to go now because I don't want to use that person. Even though they said they they were knowledgeable, but they just maybe be a little bit short or crude or they're all business. No, because it is the awkward dance I don't want to have to deal with. I don't want to, I wanna if I want my doctor to be like, I want to be comfortable talking to them. I want them to listen to me. I was just like, okay, that kind of sucks. But yeah, this of this whole like finding a new doctor. And then you start going, okay, if I don't have one I'm being referred to, then how do I find a new doctor? So one of the things I've realized here is there's a Facebook page for here people that live in this area, and it's like really nice because you can ask questions like, Hey, who's a good eye doctor in this area? And you'll get everyone's input. So that's nice. And then, but do you go by websites? Do you go by Google reviews? Do you go by the rent? Like when you don't know anybody, and you gotta find this intimate relationship that you need to be in with your doctor. Oh my god, it's dating, it's just like the dating. I never really thought of it like that, but I guess it is. So well, I hope you can find the things you need. So then you know, okay, so now you're going on websites, and like there's all these different perceptions. Like, okay, you go to a website and you get you have two different doctors, you find these two names come up, and you're looking at the one website, and everyone's professional, they got their white doctor's coats on, they're looking good. The other one, they're all like casual wear. If you saw that, which would you pick? What would make you feel more comfortable? The professional, I don't know, or the comfortable hanging. Yeah, but it it depends. What's the practice? Like, what is their special, their specialty area, I guess? Not that should matter. I'm sure I probably would feel better about somebody who's dressing like a doctor. Exactly. Okay, now here's this question. So if you see the staff picture and they're all in, do you want to see all of them wearing casual wear? Or do you want to see the doctor in their white coat and then the rest of the staff in their scrubs or casual, not casual wear, but like business casual, like khakis and polos or whatever? But or do you want to see them all wearing because they're in a group photo? Now is it okay for them to be more dressed down and more business casual? Because now you're looking at like a family picture because this is their office, this is their team. Which way would you rather see that? I don't know. Is that a thing? Yeah, I haven't come across that very often. Yes, it is. And I say this because it had a little the privilege of being part of a conversation about this, for they were debating on how do they want their presentation. And I was asked this question, and I was like, I think when I go to the website, first of all, when I look at the individual photos, I want to know right away, but I know who the doctors are, by the way. But when it comes to more the while they're practicing, and you're gonna do Facebook videos or you're gonna do other advertisements or other photos on the website, I want to feel comfortable. I want to feel like this is like a friend or easy conversation. I want to see them in a more casual light. So, anyways, we had this big conversation about it. So that's why I was curious what other people felt. What do you have?

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Um You might want to get closer to your mom.

Choosing Vets And Boarding Tests

KERRY 17:02

Oh, am I too? I can hear you just fine. I so they appreciated your input, I guess. Yeah, and actually that's what they ended up going with on their women. My intel ended up being what they went with the website and everything, and with their Facebook pages. And in fact, I saw one of their Facebook ads come up, and it was the doctor, and he was talking about and he was in his, you know, more like a polo kind of a shirt, like still look professional, but but it was very different than the front page. Here's our staff. We have this doctor, we have this doctor. Well, no, I I guess because uh the doctors I see are all through Cleveland Clinic. Yeah, and so they don't they're just individual pictures, yeah. And from what I can recall seeing them on like the web, yeah, it's they're all in doctors. Yeah, and maybe that's where I'm getting that from. But it just so then, like then, okay, now take it to a different level. Now I have to find a new vet for my dogs, and it's the same, okay. Yeah, you got all these different Google reviews and everything, and you've got Facebook, you got word of mouth and everything. And then I I had to find a place to board them. So I'm calling around, I'm looking at their websites, I'm talking to different ones. And the one I went with, I had to take my dogs there for two hours to do a like a temperament test. Like they had to pass a test to go be allowed to board there. I had to laugh. Oh, wow. I felt like I was like one of those parents that had a kid that was trying to get into special school and they you have to go and do all these pre-testing to get into this special school. But but yeah, it was scary. This was it's a whole new world.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

Yeah, our dog Ginger would be failing that test right now.

KERRY 18:45

She wouldn't seem to have she's got something going on that we've never experienced because we've never had a girl dog before. But she all of a sudden decided uh our girl dog is about 20, 22 pounds, uh, and she's an adult. And the other dog who's been here longer, our boy dog, is about 80 pounds. Yes. And so she's no, she's viciously attacking him if he tries to come into the living room. She has staked the living room as her claim. And he's afraid of her, which I'm pissed off about.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

And he's four times her stake.

KERRY 19:30

And he won't come in there.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

Maybe they didn't really get her fixed because they're it's Yeah, it's time.

The Doctor Who Called Me Fluffy

Adult Chickenpox And A Dusty Wheelchair

KERRY 19:34

Never experienced this before. So she's our first girl dog, so yeah, but I have a funny story that you'll probably think is funny about a doctor, and I don't this I don't know why this talking about doctors thing made me think in this. So when I started having kids, I was older, as we've touched on. And so I was considered high risk. And I also had high blood pressure. Oh, he's already laughing because he knows what I'm gonna say. So not only did I have to go see my regular doctor for my appointments, but I had to see a high-risk doctor as well. Gentleman with a lovely accent, known in our old area through the one hospital there, that he was a high-risk pregnancy guy. And so when I went from when I was pregnant with my first child there to have my first meeting with him, they try to do like an ultrasound. Um, but I was pretty early on in the pregnancy. So he stood back because he could see certain things, but he couldn't see everything with the ultrasound that he was hoping. So he stood back and he and I'm laying there, and you got that goo all over your belly, and it's like the first time you're going through this, and you're like, I don't know what to expect. And he said, he said, You're just a little too fluffy still. You I can't see a whole lot. And I like turned to Nick and I said, Did he just call me fluffy? There's a there's another bad word that followed that. Like, what the did he just call me type thing? And he's like, You just do fluffy. So every time we went, I was like, I'm gonna go to the fluffy doctor, find out if I'm still fluffy or not. I'll get naked in front of people is no big deal. Wait till you lay there with goo all over your belly sticking out, and the guy's like, just a fluffy. Or the fact, here's another really quick funny story. I cut got chicken pox as an adult. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Wow.

KERRY 21:41

My mother, who was a nurse, yeah. Okay, thanks. Um, she assumed I had chicken pox because we're children of the 70s and early 80s when you didn't get vaccinated for that. Um everybody had parents all got you together. If one kid in the classroom got it, they had a big party because I That way you all would get it and get it done and over with. Yeah, I heard all of that. I don't remember being exposed to that type of thing, but she just assumed because I was around kids, I must have just had a real mild case, too. Because she was like, I don't think she's had chicken pox yet. She probably had, you just didn't realize it. So when I was 21, I started getting like pimples on my face. And at 21, you're like, No, we're not gonna have pimples on your face. So I would sit there and I would do the typical, really ridiculous thing. You would pop them and I would plaster sea breeze all over them. Oh, sea breeze. Burn them out. Yeah. And so I did that. And then the next morning I would wake up and they were like back. They're like, ha, you didn't do anything to us. And then it just became an irritation. And then I started noticing some on my stomach. Yeah. And I was like, what the hell is this? I go to a dermatologist, and it's so funny because he's like examining me and he's got those flipping crazy ass goggles on. And then he's in a practice with his daughter. Okay. And he goes, Hey, you gotta come in here and see this. So now I've got two of them goggle viewing my face. It was like a flipping freaking nature thing. There's a 21-year-old girl in here with chicken pox. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And it's not fun when you're an adult because you get really sick. Yeah. And it just was the worst. Oh man. And by the way, I married a man who also did not have chicken pox. And guess who got it shortly after me? Oh.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

And I think I and she might just be tougher than me, but I feel like I got way sicker than she did.

KERRY 23:43

It's just how guys are.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

I just are. Yeah, I know. We're wimps.

KERRY 23:47

I got really upset because he went to the same dermatologist to confirm his chicken pox diagnosis. I could see why you went because you didn't realize it was uh it was, but once you knew what it was that Nick went to the dermatologist, you didn't just go to your general practitioner. We just know we were at the dermatologist hoping it was just a bad case of acne. But he was so sick. And I was out in the waiting room, and then all of a sudden I saw these people run out into the lobby, and they grabbed this wheelchair. It was all dusty and disgusting. And I'm like, what the hell? He passed out. And I'm like, they had to will, they had to wheel him out of the flipping doctor's office and that and throw him in the flipping car. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. I just had this two weeks ago. You didn't see me passing out. Come on, man, buck up. God damn it. I was actually shocked that the dermatologist has an emergency wheel fick. It hadn't been used. It was all flipping dusty and cobwebby and shit.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

They had actually hit it with some WD40.

KERRY 24:51

Please tell me that the next stop was your general practitioner somewhere to treat the actual chicken pox. I don't think there was anything they could do. I understand that, but sometimes they could.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

They maybe prescribed a topical for the pox, I think.

KERRY 25:07

Maybe I don't remember them doing anything.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

Yeah, I know. It was in the time before antivirals were there now. But yeah.

Comfort Matters And Listener Stories

KERRY 25:16

Wow. I want to tell Caria definitely good luck. I am excited to hear more stories about your Jim is also finding this a fun time finding new doctors. No, with all the problems that he's had with his cancer and everything, he does not know doctors are not his thing. So that's what makes this even more difficult because you got to find the right doctor that can be good bedside manner because it's a little harder. But no, the doctors at this new dentist place was great. It is what it is, but it did make us take a step back and go, how we thought our doctor was good until we realized he wasn't. So now we're what's is there like a big system that like here where I am, it's the Cleveland Clinic for the most part. That's not the only place, but it do you have a big medical system there like that? Now for my lupus and my eye issues and stuff, I'm gonna have to go up to Salt Lake. But it just depends on, but yeah, but I definitely am not gonna go into the one that was my rheumatologist that was referred to me because once they said they didn't have a good bedside manner, I'm like, yeah, you're done.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

I'm doing different, yeah. Bedside manner is nice, but if it's somebody that knows what they're doing, I don't really care about that.

KERRY 26:34

Yeah, but if they know what they're doing, but they're an ask to you and they don't give you the time of day, then that's they're not they may just be may just be straightforward, and that doesn't bother me. One thing about I have to agree with Carrie, you have to be comfortable enough because you're gonna have to want to ask questions. And if they're cocky and what they make you not want to ask questions, it's better to be able to- I guess that's different.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

I think there are some doctors that will certainly answer your questions just because they don't have great bedtime manner.

Autism Support And Closing

KERRY 27:02

Well, I gotta have I'm sure she can find I gotta have the touchy feely. You I want my doctors to be like my friends, I want to be able to go in and chat with them. And that's one of the things I loved about this new dentist clinic, that they were all the staff was great, the doctor was great, you they didn't feel rushed, and I think that's why I love Cleveland Clinic so much is you never feel rushed there. They'll sit down, they'll shoot the breeze with you. They're wanting to know how you are as a person. And I think that I'm spoiled in that way because now when I go into a doctor and it's just like, what's your symptoms? This blah blah blah. Okay, here's your script now for me. Yeah, you know what else I noticed? I have noticed your coloring, you're you're glowing a little bit, like nice coloring. Yeah, and I have got Ohio coloring. I am as white as a flipping ghost over here. Look at you with the Utah coloring. Yeah, I'm getting a little upset. You come visit me and you might try to well, we're we're getting some sunny days here, maybe in a couple months. Yeah, and exactly, exactly. No, good for you, and you're lovely and you're sunbathing. But you're getting vitamin D wearing sunscreen, and because of my lupus, I do have to be careful on how much sun I do get. So I am very cautious. But yeah, thank you for noticing. You're welcome. Alrighty, what we want to know is we want to know your doctor stories. Did you go see a new doctor and have some kind of crazy experience or they call you fluffy or fluffy? Well, you fluffy a little bit. You too fluffy. Like, what's your criteria? How do you pick your new doctor? Do you just do it a uh a Google search or who's closest? And you know, I wanna know. Or from friends and neighbors. So, anyways, let us know. So many options, check us out on our Facebook page, and then also don't forget that this is the month of April, and we are supporting autism this month, and so we are supporting the I always want to get it backwards. It's the Greatism Society Greater Akron. Yes, I always want to say Akron Autism. The autism society, Great Akron, yes, but you can learn all about them by going to our Facebook website, dysfunction junkies podcasts.com. Yes, and any other autism societies in your area, yes, please check that out. Absolutely. All right, everybody. See you later. Bye.