I Can Faith That!
How to go from a stressful and anxious life to one filled with self-care, faith and self-love.
I Can Faith That!
EP 09 | "I Find It Hard To Enjoy The Good Things Happening In My Life"
Ever felt anxious after getting something you've been dreaming of or scared when pushing forward with a creative project? Ever felt just as nervous when things are going good in your life as you do when things are going bad? You're not alone. In this episode, I share my experiences with the paralyzing fear of success and the hidden anxieties that arise sometimes when everything seems to be going right. I also give insight into why we always wait for the other show to drop even amidst positivity and progress. I promise you'll learn how past traumas might be steering your life's course and how to shift from a mindset of "I can't" to "I can," embracing faith over fear.
Where You Can Find Me:
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5BbC588eUekngi5QkrRbss
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-can-faith-that/id1766168795
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@I-Can-Faith-That
Tik Tok: / i.can.faith.that
Instagram: Coming Soon
For Business Inquiries (collaborations, speaking engagements, sponsorships, etc): trishjluvv@gmail.com
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the I Can Faith that podcast. I am your host, trish. Welcome, join the tribe. Okay, this is a safe space for all of us who may be dealing with anxiety or stress or overthinking, and we want to switch from an I can't way of thinking to an I can way of thinking and just kind of replacing the stress and the anxiety and the worries and all that with some faith. Okay, today's topic is one that I just felt in my spirit and in my heart to talk about, because I think that there are certain fears that we go through in life where a lot of people don't talk about it, constantly holding us down. They're holding us back, but yet we don't even identify them as fear sometimes and we don't even realize when we're operating from that fearful place. And so, okay, we're going to talk about the fear of things going good. Okay, and I know y'all looking at me like girl, what are you talking about? Okay, that ain't me. I don't know who you talking to, but that's not me. I'm not afraid of good stuff happening to me. I'm not afraid of being successful. Like, what kind of person is scared and afraid of their own success? Like what you talking about. That's not me. I'm fitting to leave.
Speaker 1:Many of us have these fears and it is holding us back so much and we don't even realize. We don't even realize what is happening. Y'all, sometimes in life it's not always the scary things that are fearful, it's not always the big bad wolf that scares us. The good scares us too. And until we learn how to overcome being anxious when times are good and when things are good, I think that a lot of our growth is going to be stunted until we learn to overcome that Y'all. Okay, let me give y'all some examples.
Speaker 1:You ever been in a situation in your life and everything is going good, stuff is sweet, you in a sweet spot, things are working out. It could be that something you wanted to do actually panned out, or an idea you had is actually coming to fruition. You're in a good zone, a good place, whatever it may be. And you ever been in that situation, y'all. And you start getting nervous, right Like. You start getting anxious and in your mind you're like wait a minute, why everything going so good? Why is everything going so good? What is happening?
Speaker 1:And you start just getting in your head and in your thoughts and you're just like oh my gosh, like I just know that something is fitting to happen, something is about to happen that's just gonna ruin my vibe. You convinced in your mind things do not go good for me and whenever stuff goes good, then something bad always happens to ruin it and you can't even enjoy, you can't even relish, you can't like, you can't even enjoy, you can't even relish in the good and the positivity that's happening and you can't fully be present and fully like, embrace the good that's happening. And you can't fully be present and fully embrace the good that's happening in your life in that moment because you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. You just know that the other shoe is fitting to drop. You don't know when. You don't know where, you don't know how, but you know it's coming. When you don't know where, you don't know how, but you know is coming. Am I the only person like that happens sometimes.
Speaker 1:Sometimes the fear of things going good scares us, because we're so and I and I think that it is a trauma response. I really, truly, truly think that it's a trauma response, because it's not normal to be afraid of being happy. We allow trauma to gain a front seat instead of, like, putting it in a bag, where it belongs. Okay, trauma need to be in the trunk. Okay, it needs to be in the trunk where you can access it when you need something. When you need it, you can access it. But it's supposed to be like out of sight, out of mind, but sometimes trauma is literally in the front seat, it's in the passenger seat, with us, we in the driver's seat, and trauma is sitting right next to us, like where we going. It's literally right next to us, like where we going, girl, what we doing, where we fitting to go, what are we about to do, and it don't need to be there. Or sometimes, even worse, trauma is what's in the front seat driving and we sitting in the passenger seat of our own lives, letting trauma drive us and direct us to where we going, and trauma drive us and direct us to where we going.
Speaker 1:And that is something that I never stopped to think about, because I found myself before me walking on this like walk, with faith. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I still sometimes, you know I still. I still do this right when, when a situation's going good, I get nervous. I'm like you know what. I'm not going to celebrate this too much because I just don't know what's going to happen. And it happens in so many different circumstances and situations. You ever got, like, a new job and it's like you can't even celebrate the fact that you got the job offer because you're afraid that something's going to go wrong. And sometimes things do go wrong, right. And that's where that response comes from. It's that trauma response that sometimes things like that do happen and so you don't even allow yourself to enjoy the moment because you're thinking about other moments when the moment became a nightmare, right?
Speaker 1:Or let's say, you start that new job and you're so excited and you're like you know what this seems like it could be a great place. You're enjoying your coworkers and you're just like on cloud nine and then you start being like you know what? I just know this, the honeymoon phase. This is the honeymoon period, cause I just know that you know every job I've had, you know stuff has always gone, left, my coworkers have always been crazy and I just I'm not even going to enjoy the fact that this seems to be like a healthy place, because I just know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that, I know that this is about to be toxic, like all the other places, so I'm not even going to enjoy this moment of bliss that I feel right now, like you're so afraid of happiness, of happiness, you're afraid of the good, and like really sitting in good because you're just waiting for bad to follow. And it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Or sometimes you ever been in a relationship and stuff is going so good in that relationship, like you just started talking to your boo thing and stuff is going so good, the conversations are flowing, you y'all are connecting, there's a connection, and you just literally like have those butterflies in your stomach and you are just so like feeling this person. And then your mind starts saying this is too good to be true, this is too good to be true, something has got to be wrong with this man, something has got to be wrong with this girl, like this is too good to be true. If it's too good to be true, then it probably ain't. What's the flaw? What is it? What's the secret? What am I going to find out about him? So then, what am I going to find out about her?
Speaker 1:And then you start searching for stuff. Then you start doing your Google search, you start getting into detective mode, start looking at searching for stuff, going through his Instagram. I mean, I don't do things like that. But I'm just saying, okay, just just trust and believe. I don't do that.
Speaker 1:But I know people that do and you just they just start like looking for stuff and then you start like just trying to find like a flaw, like something, like something this just can't, this just can't be right, and it's like you're afraid of sitting in like that good, that goodness. You're afraid of being in that moment of just like the butterflies and the connection and all that stuff. Like you're afraid that things are going good because of the fact that you may have experienced situations in the past where you started off feeling like that about someone and they just totally flipped the script on you, right, like they totally went from oh heck yeah to oh my gosh, like what in the world, right. And you let those experiences and if you haven't experienced it yourself, right, that scary type of like relationship, you hear so much about it that you then become guarded because you don't want to end up in that situation and you just let that kind of take over and it's just like it makes it so that you can't sit in goodness. Like you are afraid, and we often don't talk about that. Like I said before, like I think when people talk about fear, they often talk about, like the bad stuff, right, fear of abandonment, fear of neglect, fear of getting hurt, and we can easily see those things as trauma responses and things that need to be changed. But then so many of us experience the fear of happiness and the fear of joy and the fear of contentment and the fear of success. Even we don't know why we do it. We sometimes don't even recognize when we are doing it.
Speaker 1:For me, walking in faith um involves walking with Christ, but you don't have to believe in Christ to have faith, right, like people believe in different things, and that's okay. For me it's my walk with Christ where it's like I can't be afraid when things are going good, because in my mind I believe things are going to go bad, because maybe they don't go bad and I've allowed myself not to enjoy these blessings that God is giving me, because I'm afraid of something bad happening. And it's unfair to me to not enjoy God's blessings and it's unfair to God who's taking time to give me blessings. And then, on the flip side too, as I walk closer in my faith, I realize or I'm realizing right, because I'm always a work in progress. I never want to make myself seem like I am there, right. I am always on a journey, we're all always on a journey, right. As long as we're living, I am always on a journey, we're all always on a journey, right. As long as we're living, we're on a journey. There's never a point that we have figured everything out. We're always working and growing. At least, that's what I believe.
Speaker 1:I also have to see it from the perspective of okay, let's say that this moment of happiness and this moment of bliss is temporary and it doesn't last, and it is followed by a moment or a period of being down or a struggle or something challenging happening. My faith has to be so strong that I know that I'm going to be, I'm going to get through it regardless. So don't be afraid of what's to come, because whatever is to come is something that's going to make you stronger. It's a lesson that you're going to learn from or, at the very least, is something you can get through. You don't have to let it destroy you.
Speaker 1:And it also makes us afraid of success, too. You don't allow yourself to get to a point far beyond your wildest dreams, because you're afraid of what could happen when you get there. Because you're afraid of what could happen when you get there, you're afraid of not being able to handle, or you're afraid of having to experience, what comes with getting there. And I don't know if I'm speaking to anybody out there, but I think I am, because I know I can't be the only one. Fearing success is like wild. It's a wild experience, it is a trip. Fearing success is wild, and so I'm going to give you some examples of ways that I've allowed the fear of success to kind of hold me back in the past, where I couldn't stand my job. Okay, I could not. It's not that I couldn't stand my job, but I felt like I was outgrowing it. I felt like I was outgrowing it. I felt like there wasn't much left for me.
Speaker 1:Where I was at Y'all I applied to jobs. When I got an interview and it was a good interview the idea that, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I may get offered this job, I may get offered this job I started freaking out y'all. I didn't even get no job offer and I already started freaking out. My fear of succeeding at getting a new job started making me panic. I was like, oh, how am I going to tell my current employer that I'm leaving? Oh my God, I was terrified of putting in a resignation. I felt like I was putting them, like I was disappointing them. They were going to be mad at me or upset at me. Oh my God, what is this new job going to be like? Is it going to be better than the job that I'm leaving? Or like what if the new job ends up being worse than the job that I'm leaving? And then I started thinking about the pros and cons of the new job versus the job that I have right now, and maybe it is better for me to stay in this job if I get offered this new one. I started overthinking, stressing out, worrying over the fear of succeeding in getting a new job when I knew that I didn't enjoy the job that I was at and it's like I wanted a new job, which is why I applied. But then the thought of actually succeeding at it started freaking me out. I had to assess where that was coming from. I had to really be like wait a minute, that's crazy, that's wild.
Speaker 1:Another example I can give you guys this podcast, this podcast and not just this podcast, this podcast and not just this podcast, but just in general, like I've always known that I was a creative and I have had multiple attempts at living as a creative right. Like I have had so many different YouTube channels that I start and that I stop, and you know, like just testing out, trying out different things. You know channels that I start and that I stop, and you know, like just testing out, trying out different things. You know channels that I've started and then deleted, and things like that. In my quest to kind of find that balance between what I'm good at and what I enjoy doing and what I feel like God is calling me to do, um, and so every single time that I start a creative adventure, I always like get scared about what if someone that I know ends up finding out about this like channel or ends up finding out about this particular thing that I'm doing.
Speaker 1:And in this instance, it's the podcast, and I think I'm going to stick to this one. I think I'm going to stick to this one for a while because I really do feel like it's the perfect blend between what I enjoy doing, what I love doing, something I've always wanted to try and I do feel like God is speaking in me, that there is a purpose for this podcast and that I can impact lives and I can help people. And right now, in this moment, it's just me myself and I that's listening, right, like nobody else is really listening to this podcast right now. Okay, nobody's listening. It's November 1st 2024. This is episode nine and I don't have a single person really listening to the podcast like that.
Speaker 1:Right, I already, y'all, I already have started letting fear of success get the hold, get the best of me. Y'all I have already been like, oh my God, what if people from my job find out that I have this podcast? Like what if they come across the YouTube channel? What if they come across afraid of that? That? I was like no, I'm not going to put it on YouTube, I'm not, I'm just going to leave it on Apple Podcasts and da-da-da, so that way people don't see what I look like. And if they come across me in real life, in my professional setting, at work or at a conference, at whatever, then they don't know it's me. And then I was like I really want to promote the podcast because I truly believe that there are people out there that can benefit from my walk and my journey, my life journey and just my walk through faith right now.
Speaker 1:What if people at work come across this and the way that I am on the podcast and the way that I am here in this space is my authentic self? The way that I am at work is very different. I have a very professional, guarded, just very, you know, just God-did demeanor and attitude at work. But in my real life I'm really silly, I'm goofy. You guys are going to see this, you know. You see this.
Speaker 1:In the podcast episode I say craziness, craziness comes out my mouth. I'm just like you know what I mean. I'm real chill, real relaxed, like I'm just a hot mess express sometimes, like the things that I say is just like girl, why would you say that? And what if people at work see the real me and that like freaked me out and also, and I'm like, okay, I want to promote the podcast and I know that Instagram and TikTok are good forums and platforms to promote it. But then like what if? And you know what I mean Like I literally am so afraid of this podcast actually succeeding and I didn't realize that it's so insane, y'all. Like I literally have only me myself and I listening to these podcasts right now and yet my mind is already imagining all kinds of scenarios that could happen from more people finding out about the podcast. Like the fear of this being a success is something that I have and I didn't even realize it and I've been letting that fear kind of like drive me right.
Speaker 1:Like I have been so inconsistent. I started this podcast in August and today is November 1st and this is episode nine. And I started it in August and I told myself that I was going to do one episode per week and I was thinking that and it's something that I love doing so far, these last nine episodes I've enjoyed thinking about what I'm going to talk about, kind of like making notes about it and then recording and then editing. Like I've enjoyed the process and I feel so called to do this, but I have not been consistent and I had put in my mind that the reason I haven't been consistent is because that I just have a lot of things happening in my life right now that I just feel drained and I don't have the energy to really be consistent with this thing that I love so much and I had convinced myself that that's what was going on. And I think to a certain extent yes, that may be a little bit about what's going on, but I think also a good portion of it that I hadn't realized is that my subconscious, unconsciously, my fear of success, is getting in the way of me doing everything that I need to do to actually make this podcast successful, y'all.
Speaker 1:It is just crazy how that works. It is insane works. It is insane. It's crazy how positive things when you are someone who has anxiety and who overthinks and worries about things negative things are not the only things that lead you to do that. Positive things also lead you to have that negative response. Yeah, we need to always make sure that we're checking ourselves, always make sure that we're checking why we respond to certain things and when we're feeling something like what, what, what is that Like, where's that coming from? And really digging deep. Yeah, like if you see that you too are someone who is afraid of happiness and joy and success.
Speaker 1:Hopefully this episode of the podcast has helped you, hopefully it's helped one person, and if you are that one person that it has helped, please, please, please, please, let me know, because as long as I'm helping one person, yeah. So if you're watching on YouTube, if this has been helpful for you, please leave a comment in the comment section. If you can resonate with what I'm talking about, please let's discuss, let's talk about it. Right now, literally nobody's watching my stuff, but hopefully eventually, people will eventually watch it and so, as my tribe hopefully finds me, let me know If you are listening on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. I do have something at the end of the description of the show notes where you can send me a text, so feel free to do that.
Speaker 1:I am going to work on creating an Instagram and a TikTok for the podcast. It will be I Can Faith that Hopefully those handles are not taken already. If they are taken, it'll be some kind of I Can Faith that something. I'm working on it. Okay, I'm working on overcoming my fear of success and actually start taking steps that will allow the chances of this podcast to become successful to be greater. So that is it, y'all. Thank you so much. I do thank you. I do appreciate you for listening to little old me and I appreciate you for supporting and I appreciate you for believing in me enough to hear what I have to say. Thank you, and I will see you guys in the next podcast episode, episode 10. All right, bye, guys.