Episode 22: The One for the Mom Ready to Build Community with Meaghan McClure

Is being "prepared" for motherhood actually possible? Meet Meaghan McClure, a working mom in Tacoma, WA, who's challenging everything we thought we knew about new parent life. In this laugh-out-loud honest conversation about postpartum identity, work-life balance, and building your parenting village, Meg shares the unexpected perspective that's transformed her journey through early motherhood.

Main Topics & Discussion

The Motherhood Identity Shift

Can you ever truly be ready for the transformation motherhood brings? Meg challenges the typical "unprepared new mom" narrative with a refreshing take on maternal confidence and personal growth. From feeling like an imposter to finally embracing her mom identity, she shares the exact moment when everything changed. Her powerful story about family legacy and intentional living will make you rethink how life experiences—even difficult ones—might be secretly preparing you for parenthood all along.

Work-From-Home Mom Life Hacks

Working from home with a baby downstairs—dream scenario or productivity nightmare? Meg gets brutally honest about her early return to work and the surprising turning point that changed her career satisfaction as a new mom generating a new professional rhythm. This solar-industry professional shares how motherhood redefined her measures of success and the morning routine that keeps her sane (hint: it involves precious alone time). Her perspective on finding meaning in your career post-baby is a must-hear for any professional navigating the transition to working parenthood.

The Secret to Building Your Parent Community

Is making mom friends really that awkward? (Spoiler: yes, but there's hope!) Meg hilariously recounts her adventures in building a parent community, including the rookie mistake most new parents make when trying to forge friendships. She reveals the unconventional places she's found her strongest connections and practical steps for moving beyond surface-level playdates. With candid humor about the real challenges of maintaining friendships while juggling parenting responsibilities, Meg offers a refreshing roadmap for building authentic community in this demanding season of life.

Referenced Links:

The Happy Sleeper (sleep training book they used & recommend)

Host & Show Info

Hosted by: Cally & Emily O’Leary

About the Hosts: We’re real moms and real sisters. We may look and sound alike, but our motherhood journeys are uniquely ours. We all do Motherhood differently, and thank goodness for that. Let’s learn and grow together.

Podcast Website: https://therealmomhub.com/

Like what you hear? Let us know!

• Rate & Review on Apple Podcasts & Spotify – Help others discover the show!
• Join the Conversation – Join us on social (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok), or send us a message at therealmomhub@gmail.com to let us know what you'd like to hear more of.
• Share this episode – If you enjoyed it, share with a friend, tag us on social media and let us know your favorite takeaway.

Transcript

How are my...(...) I got this new headset today. It looks so afish. So in this all. Thank you. So good to meet you, Callie.

You too! Hi! I've heard a lot about you.

Same.

(...)

I also have a younger blonde sister.(...) Oh, that's a different blonde. So it's one of the many.

(...)

Yeah.

(...)

I used to really be blonde, but now I'm not blonde anymore. So like my identity is still the younger blonde sister.(...) I think you're still blonde.

(...)

Maybe.

Compared to you two.

(...) Yeah, maybe so.

I'm so excited for this conversation, but I'm honestly like almost more excited that you two are meeting right now.

(...) Yeah. I really hear so much about you that it's one of those funny things. I couldn't even picture you and that was confusing for my brain.

(...) It's so nice to have a face to the name. Yeah.

I love it. Well, thanks for joining us, Meg. Yeah. We are working. Thanks for having me.

Yeah.

It's good to have you.

(...)

Would you tell the community what a random Tuesday looks like for you? Who your family is, where you live, what your day to day looks like?

Yeah. I live in Tacoma, Washington.(...) I have a baby. I'm still calling him a baby, but I guess he's 14 months, 14 and a half months.

(...)

And a husband and a dog. And I work from home. So I wake up, I take the baby to his Montessori school, and then I work from home, work for a solar company, and work till about four or five or six, kind of depending on the day.

(...)

I have a late start most mornings.(...) I have to get the baby to school. I'm like, okay, have breakfast, have a cup of coffee, walk the dog. So yeah, it's good.

(...)

I actually showered today for you guys. I did a hair mask, did my nails. So I think I told you earlier, I was like, maybe going to work a little bit. But it was really nice to have the space to just like kind of clear the brain and self care.

Showing up. I love it.

(...)

There's not many opportunities for self care in this season of my life. So got to take them when they come.

I feel like when you usually talk, the shower is top of mind for you. Like I showered this morning. I did, yeah.(...) I showered before work, not like, you know, in the evening when my husband's home and can watch the baby.

(...) Do you walk the dog by yourself? So you do drop off and then you do a walk the dog by yourself. That's awesome.

It's lovely.

(...) If you don't do it, does it really throw off your whole day?

It really does. Yeah. Work was busy yesterday, maybe the day before. There's some blending that happens in my life.(...) But yeah, I didn't take the dog out until like almost one like lunchtime. And it was very strange. I do really need the like, even if it's a short, you know, 15 minute walk, just like the fresh air. I'm leaving my body. It's really nice.

Yeah.

The solo time that isn't working time.

Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. So what about motherhood shook you to your core?

(...)

Gosh, coming in hot with the big. Coming in hot.

(...)

I should also add, like, a lot.

So I yeah.

Yeah. I'll take out the silences if you say something like that out on the Internet.

Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. Thank you.

(...)

I think the I mean,

(...)

you all have done such a good job, like, covering your body. I mean, I think you're doing a great job, like, covering so many topics. And I feel like, you know,

(...)

I want to say something original, but but truly like the highs and lows, I guess.

(...)

Super challenging moments, just like, blissing out moments.

(...)

And like, surprising myself,(...) I think, okay. Yeah.

(...)

I think that's really like how prepared I was for this.

Really? Wow.(...) Okay. That is original. That is fresh. Tell us more.

(...)

I wanted that I wanted to be a mom for a long time. I wanted to be a parent. I knew early on in my relationship with my partner slash husband slash teammate that he was like going to be the best parent.

(...)

And I, you know, we didn't jump into being parents right away.

(...)

We had this, like, you know, similar to Emily and Kyle, like many years of dating and being married. And so, you know, we played this foundation. And even before that, like, growing up in a big family, seeing how my aunts and uncles, my parents, my cousins were being moms and dads and parent teams.

(...)

Yeah, I just it feels really natural. And it feels like this cool culmination of like a bunch of life skills and like,

(...)

you know,

(...)

also like aspirations, you know, like where we're going as a family and where I'm going as an individual. It's just like, I don't know. It's exciting that like I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Have you felt like that the whole time?

Absolutely not. Okay.

(...)

I. I. So quick story. I did some prenatal yoga when I was pregnant.

(...)

It was really lovely. It's like a local studio in my neighborhood.

(...)

And I met a gal who was pregnant about as pregnant as I was. And we stayed in touch a little bit. But then I was like that close to having the babies. We ended up having the baby, our babies, like within a couple days of each other, like in the same hospital, like in the same, like very similar birth stories.(...) And then we reconnected in postpartum yoga when they were like six, seven weeks old.

(...)

And it was just really special to like have a, you know, peer who was like going through it almost like week by week.

(...)

And we met up like in the first year, every like six to eight weeks to like get the babies together and like check in. And every time we met, one of us would ask like, so do you feel like you're a mom yet?

(...)

Oh, funny question.

Do you feel like you know what you're doing? Do you feel like you, your body's recovering, like you're getting into your, you know, all these like kind of sub questions of like kind of checking in. But also just like, are we doing it yet?

(...)

Like, when do you get to that point where you're like, yeah, totally a mom, like totally a parent feeling like you have your tools, you have your routines, you have your like style with your partner, you have your communication,(...) like.

(...)

And it wasn't until they were, they turned one last December that we were both like, yeah, yeah.

(...)

It's really giving imposter syndrome. I think we talk about that a lot in the workspace for women.

(...)

I think particularly in tech, I experienced a lot more conversation, a lot resources, a lot more resources surrounding that concept. And I never thought about applying it to motherhood because you're living it every second of your day. But I honestly, I had a similar switch when Kieran turned one.

(...)

So this is, I don't think I ever thought about asking myself like, do you feel like a mom yet? But it's really hitting. I'm like, oh, yeah, I actually think I was asking myself.

(...)

I haven't gotten that feeling, but I did have it. Like, I had forgotten that till you brought it up. But yeah, I think it was around when Charlie was like more communicative. And I felt like I was like, molding more instead of just like keeping alive. Yeah.

(...)

Okay, you guys, I'm really sorry. Nora is still screaming. You need to quick run and I don't know.(...) Try. I'll be right back. Okay.

(...)

Oh, my gosh.(...) Is that a napping? Napping Nora?

It is napping Nora and Nora actually usually naps.

(...)

Oh, I hear her.

(...)

This is getting interesting.

Is Kieran napping too?

Yeah, but Kyle's studying right now. So he's on backup. Okay, cool. He can grow.

(...)

Until we're done. It's a business. So impressed with you. A little hair mask.

Yeah, dude. My skin's another story, but I could do something about the hair.

(...)

Your skin looks good from here.

(...)

I have it right here right now. Yeah. Because end of month or just life. Oh, just family.(...) Yeah, that's a, that's, yeah.

(...)

The family.

(...)

The family.

My family.

Did you get any energizing moments this weekend?

(...)

Yeah.

I think what's energizing is that Adrian is feeling he's just like, we kind of circle back and like, we're on the same page. Like this is us. We're not separate in this situation. Like we are Dachil's parents. We are united. We are strong. We're on the same page. Yeah. We're going to continue to go into these conversations. All lined and that like just feels everything to me.

Yeah. You know, that's a lot of sense. Okay. What did I miss?

(...)

Just family attention.

(...)

That's just the, yeah, the.

(...)

Like the home base, you know, is that like, like Adrian and I are on the same page and we have the same, the same values and hopes for like where we want to be in our life and in relationship with our community and our family. So yeah, that's, that's the home base. That's the starting point. That's the ending point. That's the yeah.

As it needs to be. And I'm going to kind of like circle back, wrap all these things up for our listeners because Kelly just took a little break. Yeah. She's still screaming. She's going to edit out how we're going to have, we had a little nap. Whoa. With Nora, but. Megan and I in the offline, we're just chatting about.

(...)

Relationships and how, like how you show up with your partner and circling back to your idea of being prepared as a mom.(...) I love that you owned that and you feel that way. And it makes so much sense from my experience of you as a friend. I remember sitting in volunteer. I was like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to work with my friends. I remember sitting in volunteer park with you. I don't know. Maybe you and Adrian we're dating like a year or two. But you were not engaged. You were dating and you were both, I think it was the Gottman Institute. You were doing basically like a couples counseling. Crash course. You've always been so intentional with your relationships and with the knowledge you're consuming and how you can apply that to.

(...)

Really.

(...)

aspects of your life.

(...)

I'm curious what you think made you feel prepared. Like if you can look back and look at the preparation that you took.

You're asking for the secret. This is gonna crack the code for everybody.

I totally am, yeah.

(...)

Well you've talked Emily about like being a dreamer and like you know we've talked about like how you can you know put feelers out and do things to like kind of shape your reality a little bit. Like a lot of that is like mindset and intention.

(...)

But a lot of it is just like relationship building and community building. Like we make so many decisions every day about how we spend our time,(...) who we spend time with, what type of work we do.

(...)

Callie you mentioned recently I am not so much of a fangirl of the podcast that I can say like an episode 12 you know. But he said recently like that you're you feel differently about the work that you do. Like you're paid work, your work outside the home.

(...)

Because after having kids and having a family and like there's so many things. But to answer your question I just feel like my the decisions that I've made about my life and my personal growth and community growth have always been about you know the family and the relationship with my husband partner teammate that I want to have and what we will do together as a family in the context of our community.

(...)

The I'll try to like not start bawling. The most significant thing that ever happened to me in my life.

(...)

Let's get in there.(...) It was yeah it was losing my dad. That happened about like a love ten and a half eleven years ago. Pretty unexpected. And the his like celebration of life was like I don't remember every minute of it because it was pretty emotional day. But the most powerful thing that will stick with me for the rest of my life was hearing from so many people that I knew and some people that I didn't know about how meaningful their relationship to my dad was.

(...)

And so I think about that like what people will say at my funeral you know. When I go how like my memory will be like carried on through through people through my son through my other child through my friends through you know. There's something eternal about a life and about a person and I just feel like relationships are the most important thing. Community is the most important thing. I want you know everything I do to help cultivate that for me and for now for my son.

(...)

Were your parents really intentional about that?

Okay.

(...)

Yeah.

(...)

Being in your community I see that and the fruits that it bears all the time for you and Adrienne. And it's inspiring it's something Kyle and I actually talk about trying to emulate and do better. Nowhere inspired every time we're in your space and we see that. And your dad was at your wedding I swear to God like being at your wedding.(...) I was coming into contact with people who knew him. Like he was just talked about and so present.

(...)

Having never met him I was like oh yeah he's a hundred percent here.

Yeah that's so cool.

Yeah. I agree. So you seem to love motherhood. Are there specific joys or just like wins that you can pinpoint that you're like yeah.

(...)

We sleep train the baby earlier this month.

(...)

So we have our bedroom and our bed and our like like going to bed routine back as a couple which is so nice.

(...)

I absolutely loved co-sleeping. We did it from basically day one.

(...)

I'm still breastfeeding him at 14 and a half months.(...) And so co-sleeping was just like it seemed like the easiest way for everyone to get sleep and for me to be able to breastfeed him as much as he wanted.

(...)

So yeah we sleep trained him out. He's in his own floor bed in his own bedroom and he's like yeah so grown up and so that just feels like a huge win and a really nice way for us to like feel like a couple again.

So you co-slept until you sleep trained and now he's in his own room and it's fine. It is fine.

He was like ready before we were I think. Yeah because it only took like a couple of days and then now we're just in this like fucking excuse me fish and routine that seems to be just working really well. I don't know. I we read the Happy Sleeper and gleaned a lot from that.

(...)

There was one the first night he cried and fussed for like 45 minutes. We checked on him every five or so minutes. It's kind of called the sleepwave and then the next night he fell asleep in like less than five. Like it's crazy.

Is it true like Montessori floor bed so he can get out?

(...)

Well it's not like I mean yeah I guess yes yeah it is it's but it's a full-size mattress so yeah he can get off. It's just a mattress on the floor.(...) He can get out. He doesn't always get out when I think he's going to. I'm like watching on the monitor like right buddy what are you gonna do?(...) Stay in there. It's not seven yet.

(...)

So yeah so he can get out but I mean we went up we started going into the bedroom a little bit for him to like kind of explore and feel comfortable and like during the day like playtime put some just a couple books and toys and he really started to like it and would like run across the room and like jump on the mattress like kind of fall on it and there's a little closet that doesn't have a door and so he'll like hide in there and so yeah sleep training we were I was super nervous cuz I was like what am I boobs gonna feel like in the middle of the night you know used to him like nursing three to four times now we're just doing it like once or twice and I don't know bodies are amazing. So we all just we can adapt and adjust you know.

I was gonna ask about that floor bed too. I think about your little guy who like just doesn't stop he wakes up and he's like ready to go so much energy.

Very active.

So active so he just he just like stays there basically.

(...) Yeah he has a blanket he has a lovey this little like squishmallow you know those little funny and he loves them both and yeah he just we've taken a lot of videos of him like you know we say like schmoopin you're kind of like schmoopin around to like find your spot and then you get into it and you're out you know he's out and then he's done.

Oh amazing I'm inspired.

(...)

Go Dashill. Go Meg. Go Adrian. Yeah.

(...)

So we talked a lot about. Nora is finally asleep. Speaking of sleeping. Yay!

(...)

Hey Nora. Oh my gosh. Go sweet girl.(...) Maybe you should be the happy sleeper.

Yeah I've tried a couple books but I've not tried that one so.

Mm-hmm sleepwave. It's it gets mixed up with the whole like cry it out thing. It's definitely not cry it out. It's like you check on them every five minutes. Well they have to be like fussing slash crying for five minutes before you go in but it really does like give them the space and the time to like learn those self-soothing techniques or skills. Yeah.

Because it is a skill. Like that's the mind that I needed to shift to when Kevin was like we're doing it. Yeah.

Which Kevin had to. Yeah he did.(...) Same.

(...)

Um you've talked about feeling prepared based on just community involvement.(...) Was that like communal knowledge do you think? Because you also are a pretty big reader.

(...)

I would say my perception of you. I don't know I feel like you're always like I was reading this thing the other day or experience this interesting information. Sure yeah I read stuff.

I think I talked to people more and then it's like I I lean heavily into my community for like resources and like what worked for you. What are you trying?(...) What thing did you buy that like changed your routine or like helped with teething? I think I'd often go to my like trusted mom circle for like advice before I would go to the internet.

You know. So smart. Nobody likes Google's answers. Like they're they're often scary. They don't take into account your context. So I love that perspective.

(...)

As a prepared mom this is how you're gonna live in my head now among many other things.

I can't hear you. I'm for the prepared mom.

I don't know.(...) What's one thing that every future mother should know that isn't talked about or that was shocking to you? If you can think of anything.

(...)

Oh well.

(...)

Yeah that's hard. Going back to like birth like we prepared in a very particular way for having the baby.(...) And then when he was born we were like what? What do we do? We spent so much time with our midwives.

(...)

Taking birth classes like understanding and like sort of hyping up about like what the birth would be like. And you guys have talked a little bit about this in recent episodes. But like there's so much more past the birth. That like you kind of can't really compare like prepare for. But I don't know. I wish I would have like maybe asked more questions of moms that were like you know a few years ahead of me. Like what was it like for you in the first couple of months that you can remember. Yeah I feel like we block a lot of it out.(...) Yeah but like but it is like what surprised you. What did you learn. Because also that's like such a gift to a parent from my experience. Like when people are curious about like what it was like for me. Not only is that like incredible for our relationship.(...) But it's an incredible opportunity for them to reflect.

(...)

And then for you to also learn. It's like everyone wins.

(...)

So I think like yeah what I would have.

(...)

What I wish I would have done or what I wanted to someone to have told me I guess. It's not exactly your question. But was just like be curious about like that first three months six months year.

(...)

Because and spend less time like you know cultivating this like plan for the birth.(...) We were going to do a home birth. Then we ended up in the hospital. Then we ended up all all the drugs. And then we ended up at a C-section. It was just like this insane departure from like this big you know dreamy birth plan that we had. And that kind of shook us. And then we were just like shook in. And then it was like oh my gosh they're going to send us home from the hospital with this baby. And we have no idea what to do. And we haven't slept.

(...)

But if we had had like some you know some idea of what that was going to be like.

That's a great idea to build relationship with someone. I've never thought of really asking like what was your matresence. Like that seems like a personal question that you don't just like ask a stranger. But from one mom to another it's actually such an important part of your journey as a woman.

(...)

And like we don't talk about that. And I know we're trying to do that on this podcast but just like an everyday conversation. Like I love talking about birth. But like even just like what was your experience you know not just the actual birth but your birth as a mother.(...) That would teach you so much so quickly. That's so much bonding right away. And like understanding of how you started this new chapter of your life.

I

love that.

It is a new chapter.

(...)

What would you tell if you don't mind and if it's too personal that's fine. But what would you tell people about your first postpartum and then like matresence.

(...)

I would say like well you're yeah.(...) You guys have said a lot already. It's like resonating.

Right.

Yeah it is. It's really nice.

The similar.(...) Every time you have these conversations and I hear something where I'm like oh me too I feel so good. And that's feedback we get from women as well. Like she said this and I was like yeah me too. I think a lot of it is just me too but slightly different you know. Yep.

Yes. Thank you. Yep. What you said Emily about like taking it really easy especially after a C-section.

(...)

But you know taking it easy and letting people take care of you so you can be so you can rest so you can be with the baby whether that's a week or three weeks.

(...)

We live in a time where like it seems a lot of states and companies give new moms and new parents now like a lot of time off as they should. At least several weeks of just like you like pretend like you're sick. Like what do you do when you're like really sick. That's kind of what you should really do like give yourself all of that healing time and all that resting time and sleep as much as you can.(...) Easier said than done.

(...)

Right.

But still you know that that reminder.

(...)

We you know I

(...)

didn't rest enough and I wanted to like get up and make some food in the kitchen and go for a walk you know get outside and take my dog for a walk kind of get back to what I thought was like normal like early on when I thought that like we were going to kind of get back to it in the way that I knew what life was and what you know the routine was.

(...)

And it was really hard to feel weak and to feel vulnerable and to ask for help for little things throughout the day when I was used to doing them myself even at my like most pregnant self.

(...)

Yeah I'm hoping I'll be better at that. We have another kid.

(...)

I was. I'm a special problem. And then I think that's a good reminder like if you can just have that mindset going in that you can't do those things. Someone would like actually just can and they do it but maybe it's not the best idea.(...) Like for any first time mom I wonder if you just should know like no you're not allowed. You shouldn't do it because then you don't have those expectations of like taking the dog out.

Yeah.

Even though the fresh air sounds so nice. So nice.

(...)

Yeah it was like.

(...)

Yeah we did. We did set up like a camp chair in the front yard and I would like have a blanket you know all bundled up and a blanket and I'd be like nursing out there and it was really nice on like you know clear dry days.

(...)

And then eventually we would like pack up and like drive down to the water and like do the same thing like at you know at the at a park near the water.

(...)

So that's so good. Little steps. Yeah so good.

(...)

And then yeah I mean it was hard to like that feeling of like kind of setting boundaries and like you know setting expectations on like hey this is what the vibe is like at our house right now like if you're coming in to our space please be mindful of these things.

(...)

We put like a little our midwives encouraged us to like make this list of like kind of boundaries or like what is it called. I wish I still had it. It was like hey we're quiet. You know this is like please take your shoes off please if you're sick or have been sick wear a mask.

(...)

Please offer to help with something.

(...)

If you you know don't come empty handed.

(...)

No.

(...)

No like please don't like come in if you've just been smoking you know things like there's not a lot of smokers in our community but you know some like some kind of ground rules like please read this at the top of like please please read through this list.

(...)

We like appreciate your you know respect and we we hope that like what we expect you to like understand these kind of rules of engagement with us right now as we're like vulnerable and figuring stuff out. That was really helpful.

(...)

I've not heard of that before that is so smart.

Was it what you needed because I'm assuming you made it. Yeah.

(...)

We did. Yeah we made it ahead of time because we were just like and I think we add we I think we add like wrote in some things too but yeah I'd need to find it.

Cliff note number one number five number twenty five.

You don't really know what you're gonna want. I feel like until. Yeah. Happens for at least I didn't.

(...)

Yeah I think we edit. We must have done a version two like after a week or two of the of being home from the hospital.

(...)

Yeah.

(...)

Yeah.

(...)

What new traits did you inherit with motherhood.

(...)

That's good.

(...)

New traits.

(...)

I am just like keenly aware of his like like grooming. I am like not I don't like groom myself obsessively but I groom him obsessively and I am like a hawk when it comes to ear wax boogers fingernails toenails dry skin.

(...)

And I have that dialed. Yeah.

So fun. It is really funny.

I'm a grooming machine. You know I used to like kind of chuckle at like when you go to the zoo and there's like the monk you know it's

actually what I've been thinking the whole time you're talking.

Hicking at each other just like picking.(...) Adrian's like stop picking at him. I'm like I'm gonna keep picking at this kid until he tells me to stop.

(...)

That's hilarious.

And hopefully he won't for a long time. He'll just be like I'm better off because my mom is like you know keeping me tidy.

(...)

Oh my gosh. 

Incredible. It's so funny. So Megan's a grooming machine. Love to hear it.

(...)

Where you. Okay you're talking about like this tension between rest and like wanting to do stuff.(...) How do you feel about the phrase bounce back. Did you encounter it in yourself from external factors.

(...)

Yeah I thought I would like feel better physically a lot sooner and especially after the C section and just like it was a mystery to me like what happened to even like you know up until a few months before I gave birth where I was like wait so they the belly is really big and there's a baby inside and then the baby comes out and the belly just like goes small again like like what happens to that like huge space like does it take a day does it take a month for like all of that like to like come back in.

(...)

That was just a huge mystery to me. And so you know I was all had rap you know wrapped up bandages and stuff for the first like week.

(...)

That was surreal. Just be like you know like phantom limb a little bit like phantom belly like what happened to my body a little bit that took like mentally a while to like kind of catch up to.

(...)

And then yeah it took it took a long time to feel like strong enough to like ride my bike you know get back on the bike and like I will still like you know what is getting dressed like what you know what what is like dressing up and like wearing clothes that fit me so well before like all of that is still just I'm still navigating that. And

I'm experiencing like weight fluctuations. Yeah still breastfeeding. Yes. Like is he weaning. Oh he's not because he's sick. Oh is he weaning again. Oh it's like it is. Yeah. Yeah. Why are clothes so hard.

Yeah clothes are hard.(...) I did fit into some skinny jeans recently that I was like okay and then I wore them around and I was like get these off. No I was like can I. Yeah no I feel like there's a lot of clothes that I need to to depart with and just because I'm not going to like come back around I'm not going to bounce back and be like yeah I want to wear skinny jeans.

Mine are skinny jeans and underwire.(...) Never again.

Oh yeah underwire. No thank you.

Nobody needs it.

(...)

Okay I'm going to pivot because I'm just really curious how has it been to be working with Dashal and like is it different than you thought. I just yeah I went through a journey with this and so it's just helpful for me to hear other moms talk about it too because I feel I'm still processing through all of it and figuring out what I want. So where are you at with that.

(...)

Yeah that's a good question and I had to answer.

(...)

I'll kind of segue from the bounce back question into this question because there was one point last year where my manager was like Meg I'm going to help you bounce back like specifically with work.

You know version of.

Yeah yeah.

(...)

You know we're going to like we're going to get you back to your you know the productivity that you were feeling before you had the baby like we're going to get you back to your like you know income goals.

(...)

And I I was kind of like okay yeah sure. And then like kind of the fallout of that like as I reflected like days and weeks after that conversation like we did some goal setting I was like I don't think I want to do that. I don't think I want to go back to that like goal chasing you know milestones and like you know yes I want to have I want to set goals for myself but I I don't want to like get wrapped up in like the metrics and I want to be I want to be successful but that feels different.

(...)

So like establishing what like a new normal is.

(...)

So to go back a few steps. I went back to work because I'm work from home and I can like make my schedule and it felt like it would be easy. I went back to work when he was part time two and a half months.

(...)

I wouldn't do that again. That was too soon. Even though I was working just like you know half a couple of half days a week.

(...)

It was and I thought it would be nice to kind of like help me is into it with also like the seasonality of solar. That was like March.

(...)

So I was like okay we'll just like ramp up into it and then it'll be easier and I'll be able to be successful and it just the ramping up was like not like this. It was like this. The ramp was like a very very shallow.

(...)

And so yeah I wish I would have given myself a little more time because I just didn't I wasn't like.

(...)

As focused there was childcare happening like below me in the house and a lot of questions and a lot of disruptions a lot of pumping and a lot of breastfeeding breaks that just were were difficult.

(...)

And of course because it was like you know now being a parent feels like my most valuable time spent and my number one job and so anything that came up for work was like easy to dismiss. Yeah, because like he needs me. So, like, this can all wait.

(...)

So what's working now,

(...)

you know, almost a year right next couple days away from March. So it'll be like pretty soon a year after I gone back to work.

(...)

And the thing right now is that he's in a daycare five days a week for the working hours, so he's not here. I'm still pumping.(...) So that I can send breast milk to school with him. But I have quiet in the house.(...) We're not splitting childcare between grandparents and friends. He has a routine that works.

(...)

Everyone kind of has what they need it feels like right now for our family.

(...)

And I've been crushing it. Since he went back, he went to school five days a week so I yeah, I feel focused I feel productive.(...) And that's success, not like,

(...)

you know,

(...)

not what it was before, which is like winning a lot of new work. Just like do I did I feel focused today. Did I feel productive today. Great. It was a good work day.

(...) So it's pretty different than before, but you still enjoy the work. Yeah, that's great.

(...)

Do you have a new way of like I guess you just kind of outlined it, it was productive and it was focused.

(...)

And I guess that's kind of my new piece must be moving you towards your wanted outcome.

(...)

So how is that different than before you had Dachal

(...)

I guess like so to be a little more like descriptive of the type of work that I do I I design solar systems and then I like sell them to people.(...) So it's like it's sales, there's a lot of metrics involved. So it's like selling, helping people through the process of like, you know,(...) how much energy do I use in my home, how much solar could I produce with panels on my roof, and like, what would that system installation cost. Can I afford it to me to get finance kind of consulting kind of holding their hand through the process. And then like, when they sign up when they agree, then I get like a small percentage of that as commissions, so like, you could focus on like how many projects, or how much how many dollars worth of solar in a month or in a year that you would, you know, help win the company. But I think productivity, and that's like one type of productivity. And now I feel really satisfied to have a productive conversation with somebody about a project.(...) And that's focused, and I feel focused during the conversation.(...) Even if they don't end up like buying the system from us. That makes sense.

It's back to that relationship for you like

totally. Yes.(...) Yeah.

(...)

If I helped them, and I felt like they trusted me. And, you know,(...) it is like,

(...)

feeling like I helped them make a decision, even if it wasn't gonna like, benefit me financially.(...) That feels good.

Is this like a superpower that came out in motherhood like the relationship building, or have you always like I'm just hearing you talk about your journey feeling like this like it's a heightened skill that you have now. Maybe Emily should answer this. She was a wizard before.

(...)

I think it's, it means more to me now, it definitely like, because at some point in the near future.

(...)

I'll be able to talk to Dashal about the work that I do.

(...)

And I hope that he is like,(...) you know, thinks it's cool that like you can power a home with solar you can power your car with solar and I'm like this witch over here you know like that house is solar that car is solar like kind of designing and building this kind of new world of renewable energy, like, I think that's cool, and I hope that he, you know, even like one, one time is just like, yeah, that's pretty cool mom.

(...)

So, I think, yeah, partly like wanting my wanting my work to feel meaningful on a daily and a weekly basis for myself but also like, knowing that like he will have an awareness of that.

(...)

You know,

(...)

again like, like how, even if I don't stay in this role forever until you know the end of my life, it's like that kind of legacy of like what how what I'm doing now makes a difference to people later.

(...)

I just want to circle back to the part where you said, I feel like everyone has what they need right now. And that's honestly blowing my mind, like that is what I aspire to achieve in a year. Like it doesn't even feel tangible to me within the next six months. So phenomenal work, whatever you're doing. Well, you know, like, hell yeah, you got there, you know what that feels like right now you've got a good baseline for everybody.

It's so easy to like focus on what we don't have.(...) Right. I think comparing ourselves to other people, I took a break from social media in January, and that was really helpful to just be like, oh, yeah, like, we're, yeah, we were also sick a lot of January. So we kind of went down to like survival mode for a bit. But like,

(...)

I think, yeah, consuming social media can be dangerous because you're like,(...) why aren't I taking a vacation? Why aren't I like,(...) you know,

(...)

like buying my kid more toys or something, or wearing the color that's in season? We're like,

I don't even know what that is. What is the color?

I know.

(...)

But the like,

(...)

just, yeah, just like looking around and feeling like, yeah, there's stuff that we could have. Yeah, there's like stuff that we could do.

(...)

But like, we have what we need.(...) You know,

(...)

just feeling content, I think has been like a nice like calming reminder to like, the busyness of life with a toddler.

(...)

You know,

(...)

just soak it in that one a little bit. I hate that I just said that. I'm letting that one soak in a little bit. There you go.

(...)

We've been really community focused on this episode, which I love. It's something I'm, as I said before, aspiring to create here and then this new place.

(...)

How do you feel like your relationships have shifted since becoming a mom?

(...)

With your friends, your family, with your coworkers,

(...)

have things changed?

Yeah, I just, I don't have as much time for them.

(...)

So we're not like, you know, seeing friends very regularly during the week.

(...)

You know, when we do see friends, it's at the weekend and it's like navigating nap schedules and drive time if we're going to another city, and it's like, it's harder, like the effort that we put in to make plans with people is harder, and like agreeing on who we're going to see next is hard. Because we have to juggle so many things, so many priorities, and you know, we haven't cleaned the bathrooms in four weeks. Like, do we just need to stay home, sacrifice the social, and clean our house?

(...)

Or like, can we get away with one more week of like stinky bathrooms?

(...)

That didn't, that wasn't important. That like didn't, it wasn't an,

(...)

that didn't really matter before. We were like, we'll just clean the bathroom, like in a spare like 20 minutes. But like, we really have to like carve out time for like life and home maintenance. And when that kind of runs up against like time with friends or family.

(...)

That's tricky.(...) And we both, my partner and I both just kind of like, you know, approach it a little differently. So we have to talk about it a lot.

Does that make you want to hire a cleaner?

Yes, it really does. It really does. If someone just came and cleaned my house, honestly, if it was just like once a month,(...) that would give me so much life.

(...)

Kevin came home the other day from work and he was like, yeah, I was working on our budget. And I was trying to figure out how we could budget in a cleaner. I have never loved you more.(...) Kevin! Good job, Kevin!

(...)

The bathroom, that's the worst part. It's the worst.

But also like kitchen, we cook a lot at home and like, the kitchen is, yeah,(...) you can overlook it and then sometimes, like yesterday, I was like, no, this has to be clean.

Was it rageful?

(...)

Yeah, I was scrubbing walls.(...) I was getting down on the floorboards. I was,(...) yeah, the scum and the dust and the like cob webs. Like, where do cob webs come from? I don't see any spiders in my house. Yes. Because ours are like on our kitchen wall. And then grease like clings to that and...

So gross.

I cleaned the windows and it's like, I actually only got like one side of the kitchen done, but like, I've just been enjoying it so much.

Just the one side. Just the one side. So maybe that's what people need to know. Like, you might just want to figure out how to get a cleaner. We haven't done it yet. Yeah.

(...)

Yeah. I mean, honestly, like when we were talking about like Christmas gifts for each other, I was like, let's just like have someone do like a deep clean of our house. Oh, you know, just a one and done. Just one time.

(...)

Like would be, you know, especially like after the holidays when it's dark and you don't have much daylight hours coming in the windows. You want things to just be, yeah, clean.

Do they have... Fresh. I feel like I know that there's like the classic cleaning surface where it's like, you know, you come kind of do the house or deep clean bathrooms or kitchens or whatever. I'm thinking about this right now. I'm like, does this exist quarterly? Someone to come and just like inventory your house and maybe in the spring it's your attic and maybe in the fall it's your basement. And in the summer,

(...)

literally, yeah, like someone to walk you through the real estate, like the square footage in your house.

What's the next type of doula that moms need?

I want that. I just realized right now I want that. Somebody make a business, contact us.

(...)

I will invest. Let's go. Yep.

It's a great idea.

(...)

So do you think that Meg prior to Dashl would recognize you now? Yeah.

(...)

Tell me more.

You're just made for this. Look at her. I know.

I'm loving this. I feel like so affirmed just like listening to you affirm yourself. I'm here for it.

(...)

Yeah. I mean, we have done a lot of things with Dashl that we did before he was born. We've traveled to visit friends and family. I've been able to have like a couple of snowboarding days this winter.

(...)

We put him on our bike. We have a cargo bike that he rides on and we get to go on bike rides as a family. We do a lot of walks with the dog in the neighborhood and like just out in the world.

(...)

We do like projects in the garden and he's just like hanging out, like, you know, eating dirt, like getting messy. And we spend a lot of time in the kitchen making food and he's super into that, like just watching us and, you know, nibbling on things as we're like cutting up vegetables and testing noodles and stuff. So like the outside activities, the like, you know, relaxing, stretching, listening to music, cooking in the kitchen is all like stuff that we've been really enjoying doing with him that we were doing before.

(...)

I don't know what would I, I think one thing that maybe I wouldn't recognize or like I'd be curious about if like my former self met today's version was like why,(...) my former self would ask like, why don't you like leave him more of the time with, leave him with other people, leave him with Adrian,

(...)

you know, because I before was like pretty independent and like wanted to like go out to dinner with a friend on a weeknight or, you know, go to the spa or do a weekend away, you know, just like

(...)

going, especially working from home when your work days over, you want to like get out and go do something.

(...)

And I just, I don't like not being with him, you know, like, and being with Adrian and him in the evenings is just like, it's so sweet. It's the time that we have together. Now that he's in school five days a week.

(...)

Yes, we have time on the weekends as well, but we try to get stuff done around the house or see friends. And so like,(...) yeah, if I like, I did start going to dancing classes on Thursday, Thursday nights, I go out. And that's been a really nice thing because it's just like an hour dance class. And then I come home, I get to like go be around a bunch of adults, and we don't talk about like obviously work stuff. I'm just like they're dancing with people and like feeling good about myself and my body and feeling strong. And so that's been really nice. But then it's like I come home and I'm just like, you know, can we wake him up?

(...)

I want to play with him. I missed out, you know, I'm just so excited to like see him in the mornings. I think finding the balance of like going out and doing stuff for myself, you know, once a week, maybe eventually it'll be twice a week. And then just like cherishing that time with him like so much more when I can be with him at home, you know.

(...)

What is this dance class? What kind of dance?

Swing.

Oh, like just you?

Just me because so Adrienne learned to dance in college. Right. There's always been a really great dancer. We did a little bit of swing together when we lived in Seattle, but then the pandemic happened and then we moved. So now we found like a local place not far from us. And so I'm learning to dance again with the goal of like eventually we would have like instead of me doing lessons, we would have like weekly date nights where we go and dance.

(...)

Yeah.

I love that. So fun.

And have you always liked that or is it like he loves it? So you're going to learn it.

(...)

So my, it's so sweet. And if you were going to ask me, Megan, what makes you feel beautiful? Like you've asked other people,

(...)

I would say,

because most people can't answer it. So tell us. I would

say dancing makes me feel beautiful.(...) Even if I'm not dancing with him, if I'm dancing with like another lead,

(...)

I just like, like it's like the twirling. I don't know. It's like a little girl like thing of like.

(...)

Yeah, a little kid, little girl just like sweet, like, yeah, swinging around and like, you know, just moving your body in different ways. Being playful is like, is just like makes me feel playful and beautiful. And my,(...) when I was a kid, my parents did classes together and would go dancing and we would go see live music and they would, you know, be the first people on the dance floor. That cute, you know, you're like, at some event, like some couple jumps up and that was like always my parents jumping up to dance. And so I saw that a lot. And then,

(...)

yeah,

(...)

I mean, that was like one of the things that made me fall in love with Adrian was like how good of a dancer he was. And so it's been kind of a life goal, bucket list thing to like get to the point where like we would be that first couple on the floor, like dancing, you know, and for Dash to see that, you know, to see. I think it's so healthy for kids to see examples of like their parents or family members, like doing something that they love together. And like maybe even like, you know,(...) being sweet to each other, you know?

(...)

So yeah, I'm excited about the dancing journey of report back.

I love that.

Wow.(...) I know now I want to, that's been a life goal of mine. I was like, oh, you know, because I danced in college a little bit and I was always like, oh, that's going to be whoever I marry. Like we're just going to be part of our social routine. That is not born fruit yet. So another inspiration point from Megan McClure. Yeah. Kyle, let's go.

Let's go. Kyle doesn't really like to dance though.

(...)

He doesn't, but I think he's more open to it. Poor guy.(...) Okay. I mean, I think sometimes like with these little people running your life, you need some structure. You're like, hey, I paid for this class. Therefore I will not be missing it.

Also, it might be a nice way to find some community in Milwaukee for y'all.

I think you're super right. And I feel really attracted to the fact that there will probably be parents there, but also probably not.

(...)

Yeah. Like it's that good, healthy mix of adults, just being adults with different backgrounds in different chapters. Yeah. I think that's good and healthy.

(...)

I like it a lot.

We finally found our thing and it was skiing and then the snow melted.

(...)

Oh, is it gone?

(...) Yeah.

Yeah. I'm so sorry. Yeah, me too. It was like, I feel like it awakened, like our, just like having fun together again. We haven't done that in so long and it was new and fun and it was three weeks long.

(...) Oh, sad. It'll come again. It will.

Yeah. No sports are tricky. It's just a small season.

Yeah. Yeah.

You want it to be like year round.

I do.

It's so fun. Yeah.

(...)

You kind of answered our closer already. You did. I'm curious if you have other things in your life that make you feel valued as a woman, friend, mother, wife, all these hats we can wear.

(...)

Yeah. I just love when people reach out of the blue and like check in on me or like ask for pictures of Dashal.

(...)

It's like, it's really hard to stay connected to all the people in my life. Like,

(...)

you know, I get nostalgic for college when like we had this like tight knit community and everyone lived like five minutes away and you'd like see people on campus and you know, see them on the weekend. And it was just like so easy to like stay connected and and have time with people, whether you're studying in the library or like going to get lunch at the, you know.

(...)

And so I think like staying connected to people has been really hard, especially with this like new job that I have, like two full time jobs, being a parent, actually doing paid work outside the home.(...) And when people like reach out and are just like, "Hey, how's it going? I haven't seen you in a while. Like what's Dash doing this week?"

(...)

It's just so nice to like to reconnect,(...) whether it's just texting or whether it's phone call, even better in person when that's an option. And then it's also a reminder to be like, "Who have I not checked in on in a while?" Kind of reminds me when someone like reaches out to be like, "I haven't talked to like, you know,

(...)

Shauna in a while. Gotta like hear how she's doing and get some new pics of the babes." So just like the simple check-ins, like, you know, not on social media, just like directly to my, you know, text, texting and calls.(...) It feels a lot more personal and authentic to me.(...) So I love it. And I, yeah, I feel really lucky to have a lot of cousins and friends who are like doing what I'm doing, which is like raising a human right now. And so just like a lot of really good like relationship building and like, you know, feedback and,(...) "What did you try for sleeping? What did you try for teething? What has worked? What hasn't worked?

(...)

What's just like, what are you loving right now?" Like sharing that has been so good.

(...)

Yeah. It's like the joy that makes like the challenges easier to work through, you know?

(...) Yeah. Okay, so you have a new title for your episode. I think it's the one for people wanting to build communities. So like,(...) do you have any?

I love that.

Do you have any tips just for people? Because I do, like now that I've built more of a community in my, the place that I live, I'm, I can't believe how much happier I am. Like, I just like, I can't put it into words. So like people say that they want that. And I think everybody needs that. What are those like concrete things? I mean, reaching out.

(...)

Do you have, I mean, you don't seem to get together in person that often.

(...) With people.

Yeah. Are there any more like...

Well, I don't know. I feel like you do have pretty big presence of physical community. No?

(...)

Yeah, it's, I mean, it's less frequent than we would like.

(...)

We're gonna see some friends this weekend. They've got a eight month old that we haven't seen since she was like five months. So I feel like quarterly is like, we're doing good for local people. I was looking at the calendar, Emily, I think we're like right in the middle of our visits.(...) So we saw you guys in October. We're gonna see you in June. We're like kind of right in that middle.

Yeah.

(...)

So if it was a graph, you know, we're like at the low, and then it's gonna just like the anticipation of seeing you at the end of June is gonna start building.

(...)

Yay. As far as that perspective.

(...)

So, oh, and I think just being like, you know, it's like, it's a value that we are constantly like prioritizing story time. We were at our favorite coffee shop on the weekend last weekend, one of the weekend days doesn't matter. And someone approached us and was like, Hey, I saw your bike outside. I'm like really curious about biking with my kids.(...) Like, what was your like, what did you learn like what did you try and I was like, Oh my god, do you want to be friends, you know,

(...)

she actually she actually offered to swap the she got her phone out first so I didn't actually have to say that but I was like, Oh, this is a new friend.

(...)

Adrian, quick.

(...)

So, but I was not I was really cool and I was like, Yeah, we got, you know, we have a cargo bike and we got it in Seattle and we started him on it when he was like four months old and blah blah blah.(...) And she's just like, whoa, you know, so it's like, I just feel like when you're out in the world, doing your thing and like,

(...)

yeah, being open to talk to people and like meet people.

(...)

Yeah, we have like new friends in town who like like coffee and like bikes, and like that's enough for us to like, yeah, get together.

(...)

We're going to meet pretty soon. And so yeah, I think, I don't know.(...) We genuinely. Yeah, we want to meet other parents. That's one thing that's been a little bit like disappointing I guess that we thought we would meet more like parent friends at the school that he's going to.

(...)

We had some friends in his classes but like, even like at the drop offs were like, Oh, hey, like your son says dad. And they're like, Yeah,

(...)

you don't want to hang out with us, like our kids, our kids are the same age, they play together all day like let's have dinner, you know. And so that's been kind of funny where yeah we just it's just not that even for like how community oriented they like kind of marketed the school as that hasn't been that way for us so

(...)

yeah we've met people out in the world, yoga class coffee shop, farmers market.

(...)

There's a lot that's one thing that we really love about Tacoma there's like a lot of young families here.

(...)

And, you know, people who are like outdoorsy and have a dog and maybe ski or bike. We feel like there's a lot of kind of like minded people where we live right now where we're planning to live for a while so it.(...) It's just like the, you know, the bed is the garden bed is like rich of all the nutrients.

(...)

Okay, so when you meet one of these people out in the wild, you're like a new friend out in the wild.

(...)

What are your first few dates, because I've realized, like, in our old life on the west coast, it was very much food focused.

(...)

And most of our close relationships like they love people love food they love cooking for you and Adrian, you are phenomenal hosts, it's like very easy and graceful and you know, I've noticed when we invite people over for dinner. It's often like, I think a little formal or like, oh, that's when for us it's like, no, no, we actually eat like this, this is what we do if you're here or not. We're just making a little extra for you it's like really not a big deal like not high commitment, I think it's a little intimidating to some people so yeah, my question for you is, do you just go straight in for the dinner and not care how they take it. Do you like to put toe in with a coffee date like what's your,

what's your go to keep going Charlie's bellowing for me. Hi Charlie.

(...)

Yeah, I have been like, very subtly and gently rejected when I've invited people over to our house for dinner, or, or even for like a play date at our house. I think our house is great for hosting and we're comfortable and

house for hosting. Yes.

Yeah, great little play area. So, yeah, that hasn't worked.(...) We just were like, let's meet at the park. Let's meet at the farmer's market. Let's meet at the coffee shop near the park.

(...)

And just like let the kids run around or like walk the dogs in the neighborhood.

(...)

So, so meeting out. Usually, I mean it's hard to do in the winter.(...) Days are shorter and it's like, not as good a weather but,

(...)

yeah, we're kind of like people expected around here you got to get outside. So, you know, just appropriately and let's go.

(...)

I think meeting out in like kind of neutral space for the first few visits has been really nice and then it's like, okay, we know you, our kids know you.

(...)

Now let's like, do a, you know, a dinner meal or just cozy playtime inside.

(...) So you do play it cool. So you've also experienced the rejection.

(...)

Yeah, like, wait

your house, you want us to,

we're coming to your space what?

Yeah.

Okay. Well, I'm glad I'm not alone. So maybe I'll like play a little more cool in the future.

You work up to it.

Yeah, totally work up to it. Sounds like you're doing like neutral public space, maybe like with a little activity thrown in there if you're like at the park or walking the dog. Yeah, farmers market. Love it. Okay. Tips and tricks. I'm collecting them. This is great.

(...)

It is, it reminds me of just like the, you know, the friends you made in college and when you're in school versus like making friends after college, you know, it's like new territory, like, it was much easier to make friends, like, in a workplace for me, than it was to like, make

(...)

what, like out dancing or like randomly,(...) maybe on my like commute to work, like, where would you make, where would you meet people who you would want to be friends with outside of these like structures.

(...)

Right. Yeah, it was hard for me. Yeah.

Yeah. It's hard to maybe impossible. I don't know. Very challenging to build community when you don't have like a truly common ground with somebody.

(...) Yeah.

(...)

But I think that's true for everybody, you know, so like, yeah, right to be the one saying, and it sounds like that's what you do. Like, do you want to be my friend?

(...)

Should I don't have any friends? But you seem cool. Yeah. Yeah.

I can use a few more. I'm losing my, my toddlers done very well. And I think this is the end of his rope.

So,

(...)

Megan, this is so delightful. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

(...)

Yeah. Yeah. It'd be good to meet you in person and meet your kids.

Yeah.(...) Yeah.

Someday.

(...) Someday. I love it.

For sure.

(...)

Okay. Love you both. All right.(...) Love you.

(...)

Bye.