Episode 48: Part 1: Finding Your Inner Maternal Compass Miniseries with Caitlin Ruby Miller, LPC

Part 1 of our 5-part miniseries on developing your inner Maternal Compass

What if the answer to confidence in motherhood isn't another expert opinion, another app or product, but something you already have inside you? This week, therapist Caitlin Ruby Miller introduces the concept of our Maternal Compass – a way to organize the chaos of competing thoughts, and even learn from our unpleasant intrusive thoughts. By developing identity,  autonomy, and confidence, we're able to discern into being the kind of mothers we want to be—not the one others say we should be.

Main Topics & Discussion

Why Your Inner Wisdom is MIA: Modern motherhood has created a peculiar problem: we've swung from honoring instinct and ancestral wisdom to Googling every decision and receiving too many opinions and judgements from social media for us to effectively sift through. This noise leaves most moms feeling too overloaded to connect to their own wisdom, and this miniseries offers tools to tap into it.

From Spiral to Action (And Why the Stakes Aren't What You Think): What if instead of fighting your intrusive thoughts, you actually listened to them? We explore how overthinking becomes a breeding ground for maternal anxiety and why taking action – even imperfect action – beats endless mental loops. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), Caitlin gives us tools to help sift through anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and external opinions to identify the quieter, grounded inner wisdom that guides decisions with strength, calm and clarity. Your internal voices deserve to be heard – but not necessarily obeyed.  After all, who's really running the show?

Resources & Links 

• Download the free companion worksheet for Episode 1: [Get it here]
• Learn more about Caitlin Ruby Miller: [Website/Instagram]

This podcast is meant for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. 

Links & Discount Codes:

8Sheep Organics: Click this link for 10% off your purchase!

Kindred Bravely: THEREALMOMHUB15 for 15% off!

Host & Show Info

Hosted by: Cally & Emily O’Leary

About the Hosts: We’re real moms and real sisters. We may look and sound alike, but our motherhood journeys are uniquely ours. We all do Motherhood differently, and thank goodness for that. Let’s learn and grow together.

Podcast Website: https://therealmomhub.com/

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Transcript

end of the spectrum is other people slash scientists, doctors, Google, they tell you

how to mother,(...) and then the other end of the spectrum is you do it all on

instinct with very little coaching or help or information,

generation has gone more and more and more to this side to a point where there's a disconnection from

an internal mother instinct,

(...)

So for people that did not listen to the episode that we had Caitlin on prior, we

did more of a deep dive into what is the internal wisdom, so if you haven't listened to that, Caitlin, can you just give us like a Cliff Notes version of what

internal wisdom is, and then why you think it could be so powerful for moms?

Yeah, so I took my concept of internal wisdom primarily from IFS, which is internal family systems, and the idea behind that theory is that there are multiple parts inside of us, sort of like creating a family, and then there is one part that makes the decision, calls the shots, and is ideally like wise and balanced, and that part is called the self.

And so

when I was thinking about creating this series with y'all about matrescence and inner, like the inner mother compass and maternal wisdom, I was thinking, okay, let's tap into not just like general wisdom and general self that like internal family systems would talk about, but let's talk about tapping into our maternal compass, which is our own inner sense of motherly wisdom that we use to guide our choices and our decisions as a mother.

And so the idea behind this is that every human being consciously, we have a ton of thoughts, and we have some thoughts that like bring us pain, pleasure, distress, we're excited about, and the idea is to have a system

known as

the maternal compass where we organize all of those thoughts and we find which ones do we want to act upon, which ones do we want to let go of, which ones do we give power,

And so the idea behind this series is

let's tap into our inner maternal compass, which would be like a wise voice inside of us that helps us make decisions as new moms.

so that's sort of like the cognitive aspects of it, but there's a lot of practicality to it because essentially the more we practice tapping into our maternal compass, the more likely we can make decisions and make decisions more quickly. And the less we're in our heads. So I think

often the more we're thinking and we're looping in cognition, the more anxious we are, the more we doubt ourselves, we're more likely to have

panic attacks to go into fight or flight, to be like really nervous, to feel depressed.

many mental health

states are from looping cognitively. So the idea of

into our maternal compass is like we go from a state of anxiety or questioning or doubt into a state of action.(...) So

cognitive component can seem a little obscure, but there's a lot of practical components of like, okay, I trust that I'm making the right decision as a mom. This is what I'm gonna do. And I'm gonna keep going with my day. And like, this doesn't have to be as hard. It doesn't have to be as scary.

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I love that. I need more of that. Yeah, I'm even thinking, you know, experts will say,(...) you know, if your child is tantruming, if you give them a big hug, your nervous system is theoretically more regulated. You're gonna regulate theirs. And there are times where I'm like trying this and I'm like, is my nervous system regulated? Because right now I'm not actually sure if it is.

Yeah, the answer actually might be no. It actually could be no. And

it could be like, as an adult, we have a dysregulated nervous system, but we're able to sort of mask it and be like, we're okay, we're totally fine. Everything's totally, so like, you actually could be right that your child who is having, and not always, but like, that sort of temper tantrum is like

more regulated than you are.

Not always.

(...)

Is it because of your toddlers like hitting you or like pushing you away or like screaming louder during the hug? Does that influence your

system response?(...) Yes, or like specifically if my toddler has just thrown books, because for some reason that's my thing. Oh. Throwing books, I mean, anyway, so obviously I knew this.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

So to bring

us back, we've all got this inner wisdom, this deep pool of knowledge that is real.

Mm-hmm. It's a real place.

(...)

We're gonna call that our maternal compass.

Mm-hmm. So you'll learn how to calibrate our maternal compass.

Mm-hmm.

And what comes to mind for me right away is intrusive thoughts, because

better than ever had I ever received a deluge of intrusive thoughts in the way that I did when I was close apart.

Oh, yeah.

Your anxiety is that high and

you have this physical reaction to these thoughts that you know are insane because they're insane.

(...)

How cool is it gonna be for this next postpartum season of mine

when I wave through all those voices and connect to the one that's actually true and good and

good in my life and in my family's life?

And there's something beautiful about

the idea of a maternal compass and how an inner voice is an organizational principle, because if you're having that deluge of

thoughts, it's hard to sift through them because something we were discussing in developing this series is, some of them could be an instinct of, something is wrong, you need to do something, and others are just

most annoying person knocking on your door and freaking you out and you're like, leave me alone, I don't want you, sir, get out of my house.

so to have an organizing principle of, okay, I think this is

of me that are really, really nervous, they're really afraid, they're dysregulated, they think everything's gonna go wrong, they're catastrophizing, and then I can see that fear, I can feel it, but it's not going to run my life, it's not gonna make the next decision for me, I can hold space for it, but

is my maternal compass saying right now? And it might be like, Emily, it's time to take a nap,

it's time to just have Kyle give you a hug.(...) Like it's time to drink a glass of water.

And hope that Kyle's

nervous system is regulated.

(...)

(Laughs)

I'm not a flailing toddler, I don't throw books.

(...)

So what I'm hearing you say, Caitlin, most recently is, okay, we've waded through all the yuck, we're coming back to our centering, we've identified the voice, and the things that you just named were actions.

They are not in my head, they're actions,(...) it's to have a glass of water, take a nap.

So is that connected to

forward in a productive way with the inner voice?

(...)

in my own

inner voice work is if I can listen to the voices that are screaming, so the voices that are freaking out, so I would say most of your intrusive thoughts could be coined as those voices that you're experiencing postpartum.

If we can listen to them enough to quiet them down, then usually the deeper wise voice will have some phrase of, you're going to be okay, right now you're scared, and try this.

the wise voice is more of,

it has more guidance to it, versus

freaking you out, and essentially making you feel crazy.

So usually the inner voice is not crazy making, is what I'm hearing.

gets complicated, because I don't think crazy exists,

essentially

inner voice is

key to regulation, a fast key to regulation when you feel dysregulated, and when you have a lot of thoughts that are disturbing you.

The idea behind this series is to help you practice tapping into your own maternal compass, so it will

you, and be inside of you, and is a tool you will carry with yourself forever, because it is a part of you, it always has been, it's just practicing tapping into your maternal compass,

I won't know what your maternal compass will say to you in the future, but we can work on exercises to help ground you to

through all the thoughts and all the voices to get to the organizational principle of, oh, okay, this is my maternal compass, I'm here. I am suffering, but I am still here, and I'm going to be okay.

your inner wisdom will usually be

quieter,

(...)

calmer,(...) you'll feel grounded, you'll feel more regulated. So

let's say you're feeling anxious and your like heart is racing, you might feel your heartbeat slow down, or you might feel less sweaty or less in fight or flight. So usually there's like a bodily response to when you're tapping into your inner wisdom where your body will feel less distressed.(...)

you're going to feel more calm. The tells in your body are different for each person. And also

wisdom feels like guidance. And I think we were kind of pointing that out earlier in this episode of like, it'll be more like action based and more like comforting, but also the idea of

the self in IFS, is it balances like, I see that you are in pain, other voices in my head. Like I see that you part are in pain. I can hold that, I can validate it, but you are not the one making the decisions. So like holding that sense of like, I am still here as the inner voice, as the maternal compass to make the decisions, but I also see that other parts of you are in pain. I see that you're hurting and I know that things are gonna be okay.

(...)

And also here's the thing you can do. Like I am a compass, I am guiding you.

Something I really love to hear you say is that it feels calm, it feels grounding, it's going to guide you. I'm hearing all those things like check, check, check. I want more of that, yes please.(...) And then I record that I hear you say, it's often really quiet and I'm like fish. So it's gonna be like the answer, it's grounding, it's calm, it's good. The quiet part sounds like work to

me. How do you quiet the other voices?

(...) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah, and I'll have clients ask me that

all the time.

an exercise I'll do in therapy is, let's start by listening to the voices that are drowning out your wisdom, that are speaking really loudly. Because I think a bind we'll get ourselves in is if all of those voices are really bad and like problematic, then when the intrusive thought comes in, we're gonna think, oh, that's a bad thought. That's a messed up thought. That makes me a bad person. That makes me a bad mom. And the heavier that is and the more judgments we have, the more likely we're going to think that we're crazy, worry that we're crazy, worry that we're bad and push the thoughts away. So like usually in my work with clients, the first step,

is

tap into the voices that are taking up the mic right now and give them actually more time to speak, which sometimes will seem counterintuitive. But this voice is awful. Why would I give it more time to speak? So to like give it more time to speak, to hear it out, so then it takes up less space and we can tap into our inner maternal compass more.

So yeah, I think that's maybe part of what you were experiencing with

thoughts.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

(...)

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(...)

I'm probably like mixing up the therapy terms and whatever, but I,

you both have not seen Inside Out, right?(...) We've established this. Well, that's a problem, but you can't mix it.

yeah, in the movie, like you want Joy to be the emotion that's there all the time, right? Like you want her to take over. She kind of wants to take over, but like you see all these characters interacting and like they're still a family and it's really fascinating to think about.(...) But just when you're talking about

to acknowledge all those other voices, like that's what it made me think of. I literally have little like Pixar characters in my mind

and just how helpful it is to really acknowledge that and know that like they all work together. And like there's parts where like in the movie, sadness, if she touches like certain memories, they turn sad.(...) So it's like she has to learn not to like taint all of these memories,

(...)

but it's really good you guys.

Oh no, I want to watch it so badly.

(...)

Yeah, yeah.

I think all of this is part of you, right? It all can work together, but it doesn't all need to be like tainted by the anxiety or the nervousness or the anger, mom rage, whatever it is. It's just really helpful for me to have that picture.

no, that's really beautiful.

Callie, I love the

to Inside Out because I feel like the idea of joy, disgust, sadness, anger, and fear, living in a family where they all get to talk, like they interact and they don't exist without the context of one another. I feel like that is a really beautiful way to describe what I'm trying to say, which is like all of our parts, all of the different thoughts we have, all of the voices associated with them, they live in us in a system, they coexist, they will like always be there. And if it's more of like an inclusive feeling instead of like, oh, you're actually not welcome in this family because you freak me out and you make me feel crazy, that is when we start to have way more dissonance and way more pain and just like confusion and identity issues. And so yeah, I love that. And like, I would not be surprised if the writers have some connection to internal family systems, IFS or like parts work, because I think that is like honestly a very beautiful way to describe what I'm trying to say. And then the idea is like the inner maternal compass would not be joy, disgust, sadness, anger, or fear. It would be like another character that brings them all together and hears them and guides the family. So like the mother essentially.

Through greater understanding, even if it's uncomfortable.

(...) Yeah, yeah, yeah. The mom would hear from sadness and anger and disgust and she would be like, wow, you are really upset. I hear you, that is really sad. Like, let me give you a hug. And I'm gonna make the decision about what we do next as a family.

They all have like a specific color. Somehow all I can think about is what would the maternal compass, what color would she be?

I love purple.

(...)

Oh my

maybe it's like a, isn't a prism, it's like clear, but then it can have all the colors in it or something. She's like a prism, like, there we go. She's the prism.

(...)

It's elusive, almost transparent, can take a while to find it.

(...)

Yeah, exactly.

(...)

Yeah, but it holds multitudes inside of it. Oh my God, prisms.

(...)

I had an experience today with our family.

(...)

So we're like going up north, if we're using the family systems like as a metaphor, right? I know it's actually like a whole practice, but if we use our family of sisters, we kind of know our roles in certain situations at this point.

(...)

So what's happened so far, we're all going up north for the 4th of July. This is when we're recording this. It's gonna be a really great family weekend. We're all very excited about it. And for the siblings cabin, which is the four sisters and their husbands and children,

(...)

like Sadie was the one who was like, okay, I'm doing a spreadsheet about what everyone's bringing and all of the food. And she plans like really good breakfast for every single day. And Sadie and I, we know this in the family. We do like more is more is more. Like is it at a perfect level? Let's add three more layers, especially if it's food and it's gonna be like prep heavy. Let's do that. Sadie and I are like, oh yeah, we'll do these elaborate breakfasts. And then we learned that mom needs us to do sides. We're like, oh, didn't know. Okay, cool. And I was like, oh, I've got this awesome Asian slot and it's gonna be like so much shopping. We're gonna be building pies. Like Sadie and I have created this weekend that's just like hours of prep work in the kitchen.

And today- What are you disaster waiting to happen?

Ooh, Callie, what's your role?

So Sadie and I did this.

(...) And then today I was like, oh God, what have we, I have to call Callie. She's the efficiency queen. I was just like, I was thinking that maybe you would go shopping for a few things for me. And you were like, okay, well, what can we cut out?

And I was like- You thought I was gonna shop for these things. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go shopping and I'm gonna get bagged salads and watermelon. Yeah. I'm a watermelon girl.

I knew I needed to call.(...) What needed to happen, happened.

(...)

Yeah, that was a literal family interaction today. Where you need everybody,

right? You need everybody.

Well, and I feel like the hearing all of you out gets you to like a balanced decision. So like you hear the different family members out and then you figure out a middle ground and then you act upon it. You act.

Okay, so we're back to the acting.(...) Why,

(...)

like when you take action, something you said to me a while ago when we were prepping about this, is you said, yeah, usually when you do the action, the stakes are not as high as you think they are.(...) Like you can build this moment up in your brain and be terrified of what's gonna happen. And then you're in it and like turns out the stakes actually don't matter. You manufactured those too. So if you can identify what the stakes are, your action is actually a huge problem solver. And I was like, okay, can I have that written on my wall?

Yeah, I feel like a lot of overthinking and like looping, which is what I would say a lot of us are trained to do. Like looking for like what decisions am I gonna make as a mother outside of ourselves? Whether it's like Google or a doctor or a mom, mother-in-law, sister, other people we know. And so like the idea behind acting is that you are thinking less, you're tapping into your own compass faster and then you are acting and like making a decision. And that to me, what I see with clients is the more they loop in their heads about things, the more they think, the more they overthink, the more they like question what's going on, they get in more of a state of panic. And so the stakes feel higher. So like choosing

what am I going to eat becomes like, oh my gosh, this is like a symbol of the health for the rest of my life. Or will I have a heart attack if I eat a steak tonight or something like that? And it makes sense because we're like sitting in inaction for so long and stressing out. And so like our brains will make us feel like the stakes are like literally life or death when it could be like, okay, this is one step on a long journey and I'm making a choice, I'm just gonna do this. And then I

you act, even if you make a decision that you feel like you wish you would have done differently, it's likely faster and more efficient to just try something and then try something else versus to wait, to try anything until you feel like you know it's gonna be right. And so like the stakes of early motherhood of like, okay, what are the stakes here really? Like let's try something and see what happens.

yeah, that makes so much, yeah. Cause I mean, how cool is it to be nap trapped(...) and just have this total opportunity to spiral inside your head?

Oh yeah. Cause your nap trap does a baby on you. Yeah, totally.

Well, and I even think about the effect that that would have on your children, like for them to just feel like you are a confident mom,(...) Dr. Becky Kennedy talks, she has this analogy of like if you're on an airplane

(...)

and there's really extreme turbulence, like there's three options.

(...)

Option A, the pilot gets on the speaker(...) and he's like freaking out. He's like, oh, I'm gonna die, blah, blah, blah.

(...)

Option B, the pilot gets on, he's like, hey, anybody wanna fly the plane for me? Like, it's kind of hard. Yeah, I'm not sure if I can do this. Like, could you do it for me? And option C is

is turbulence, we're acknowledging it and it's gonna be okay. I mean, obviously like that's the option we want for our parent.

(...)

And just hearing you talk about that inner wisdom, how often am I doing option A or B just because I'm not willing to just say I am my own pilot and that's so much better for my kids, regardless if it's even like the right move.(...) I know that I can get us out of this turbulence, like just to acknowledge that it has to have such a powerful effect on our kids' cycle.

Yeah, it's like, it's modeling to

kids. You can also one day have your own inner compass.

At this point in development, maybe your inner compass is incredibly simpler than mine is, but at some point you can find this too. You can find this sense of confidence and this sense of guidance and making decisions and that you don't have to try to figure out what the perfect best thing is before you act. Because in fact, you will be probably really nervous and sad if that's what you do, if that's what the stakes are. It has to be right before I do something.

(...)

So yeah, I feel like that's modeling and it could be so powerful throughout the entire development of your child, of this is what being your own compass looks

so one of the really important things about tapping into our maternal compass is it helps you build identity and autonomy. So what is my identity as a mom when I'm going through matresence? Who do I want to be as a mom? And there's identity in that. There's also autonomy in the sense of I can make my own decisions. I can find my path as a mother and to relate to what you were saying, Callie, as well. I feel confident.(...) So part of identity development is just naming who you are, tapping into who you are, building your maternal compass, and then being able to say, I know I can handle hard things. I know I can find my way when I feel lost. And so

thing I was thinking about is

to I'm becoming the mother I want to be, not the mother I should be or the one I have to be. And to feel like I'm becoming the mother I want to be is developing your own maternal compass and tapping into that voice. Cause it feels like I am choosing, I am being the mother I want to be versus I am being the mother I should or I have to be, or society tells me to be, or my doctor said I had to make this choice or getting lost in all of that.

Yeah. I'm thinking about when that started for me,

opinions that I could easily get lost in or that a lot of women do. And it starts like when you're pregnant,

(...)

people are like, oh, unmedicated or like give me the epidural, like it's immediate nutrition issues.

(...)

That's another opportunity for you to get overloaded with lots of opinions.(...) And then we can talk about feeding the baby as well once it comes, like breast is best or like formula forever. I mean, there are so many different pieces where

really important to take the whole family and like the whole context of your situation into account and no one else can do that except you.

I love this idea of becoming the mother

(...)

you want to be not the one you feel like you should be or people say you have to be.

Oh my gosh, what's it called? Bed sharing, that's a huge one.

I've been thinking about that this entire episode.

Oh my God, I'm getting targeted on Instagram right now

with people trying to like fear monger me into being like, if you're not bed sharing, you're depriving your child of this connection and you're ignoring their

right to the system. And on the flip side, when you leave the hospital, I had three different doctors tell me that that's what is the highest reason for like six.

(...) Well, it is what they've linked to currently in science, even though all over the globe people bed share. We were at the library the other day and we were given a board book, like for babies to read, like for children to read. That was propaganda about against bed sharing.

Wow.

(...)

Board book for like toddlers, it's in my house somewhere. Oh my gosh.(...) I was like, you know what? I thought about burning this book. So I was like, what the hell are you giving me this? And then I was like, no, I'm kidding it.

Emily, that can be a book that you can throw. You can throw that book.

(Laughing)

This is the one book in this house that we throw.

(...)

Also, Callie and I are non-medical providers. Callie doesn't bed share. I did with Kieran, I likely will continue(...) after a certain point with the baby and with no substance use.

Yeah.

There are different factors that make it healthier anyways.

But it's one of those things that's so difficult(...) and so many women do it both ways, but there's just so many voices. And that's a prime example.

I think he wanted it the whole time. Yeah, that one, like if you are talking to someone who's avidly against bed sharing, they're actually like terrified for you and your baby. They're not like often they're not even trying to say, oh, you're doing it wrong. They're like, oh my God, do you think she knows that this is like

the worst thing she could possibly do?

Yeah, it's like total

If your maternal compass is saying, I want to do this and society is saying that's literally gonna be the end of your child's life, oh my gosh.

I mean, even like I want to do a home birth with this baby and that's even one of those things that I feel like this is one of the first times that I'm really tapping into my maternal compass and saying like, no, I really think this is best for our family.(...) And then I have those little things in the back of my head, you know, like other people's voices(...) with the risk factors and the whatever. And I'm really trying to drown them out, but maybe I need to acknowledge them.

(...)

Because our

second episode, we're gonna talk all about these voices that are holding you back.

So Cal, maybe kind of dig into that a little bit.

Oh, I would love to interview one of your voices like about this because I think it could be really powerful for listeners to hear like an example of a conversation

(...)

and also like that can help lead them into the worksheet to like do it themselves to see like, what would this even sound like talking to this voice? So I would love to do that with one or both of you.

are the first steps, Caitlin, that you take with your clients in kind of embarking on this journey, now that we've outlined why it's so helpful?

(...)

so the first step I'll usually do with clients is

interview and tap into the voices that are taking up the most space, and we're gonna include that in worksheets for this series,

and I'll include prompts that can help you tap into it and enough questions where probably for every listener, there's gonna be something that resonates. And then usually in practicing dialoguing with voices that are

the mic and causing us to stress, we learn skills about how to dialogue with voices that would be our maternal compass. And so once those voices start to

calm down and be heard, then we can tap into the maternal compass, and then I'm also gonna help with exercises to

ground yourself, because when you're tapping into your maternal compass, you're going to feel more calm and grounded.

So I would say that is

the introduction that I'll do with clients, and that I'll also try to guide us through on the worksheets and in the mini series.

so Callie and I think just kind of outlined(...) some of the voices that we encounter daily.

(...)

I'm sure they're relatable, they're all over the internet.

we'll include in the worksheet

as Caitlin was saying, to help you identify maybe the loudest of those and what those voices might be. I'm excited to actually have online on paper.

(...)

Yes.

I think that would be a good exercise.

Yeah.

Yeah, some of these voices, I just, like the board book, I'm like, get out of here. Like it doesn't really get to me. Like I don't actually care, you know.

(...)

Others kind of mess me up.

Yeah, yeah. And there is something about internal family systems and like naming a part and saying like, for some people it resonates like, how old is this part? What does this part like? Like if this part was like a character on a show, what would it look like?

there's also like

a sense of

organization in that where it's like, oh, this is this part of me. I can see you. And so you don't have to like fight back and forth and dialogue and

overanalyze for hours and have it just like take over. So yeah, that can be a useful thing. And I'd be happy to include that on the worksheets too. Like what are the parts of you that are taking up the mic? What might they look like? What are their names? And to have those sort of organized and then to tap into like, okay, where's the maternal compass? And

I think one of my friends calls their intrusive thoughts, Steve, like all of them.

(...)

Hey Steve, what up? Get out of my head.(...) Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I remember my violin teacher in high school told me to do that with performance anxiety. He was so wise in so many ways.

Oh. If you're listening.

(...)

That's such a good name too.

He was amazing, but I remember like he named my Bob. I mean, he told me I could pick a name, but I'm like, I mean, they're staying Bob.

Yeah.

Every time, you know what, that I had anxiety. Like I had to acknowledge Bob, go away. This is all coming back though.

Okay, this is so cool. I love it. Yeah, and next level up is sort of like, Bob, are you scared right now that I'm not gonna like get into this undergraduate program that I'm trying to get a full scholarship at? Cause honestly, Bob, I really wanna get the full scholarship too, and I'm trying really hard. And there's a lot at stake here. However, Bob, like the amount you're just regulating my nervous system is like really potentially messing up this audition. So like I hear you and I see you and wow.

(...)

Yeah, but also we're

on the same page. Like Bob, we're on the same team, but

I'm the boss, I'm the maternal compass. I am making the decisions. I am the body that is about to perform this audition.

cause I do think in

culture, it's like, just like tell your intrusive thoughts to shut up. Like that's pretty much the goal. And we named them Bob so we can say, Bob, get out.

it's like, no, Bob has

like

a purpose and feelings and all these things. And by like partnering with him, similar to like your inside out metaphor you were using, Kelly, like we're all a family, we all have things to say. And there's also a parent making the decisions.

(...)

I like that. That's a step. Yeah. As you just named, I've heard of, yeah, intrusive thought, Bob, get out. That's how I've typically thought of them,(...) but it does ignore kind of the whole purpose for why Bob might exist because bodies usually manufacture these things to you. It thinks it's keeping us safe.

(...)

Cool.

(...) I'm stoked. This is gonna be great.

I'm so excited. I'm also so excited to have worksheets that

listeners can follow along with and

get something from and

their own maternal compass, because I feel like that's a huge thing missing in a lot of podcasts and like online content is like, no, you can build this and you can work through this and you can like develop your own tools and skills instead of just

hearing something once, trying to internalize it. And then it just like leaves you. Like this is the thing you can carry with you.

(...)

And use a lot in the future. So we will be digging into how to dialogue

and connect with these voices next episode.

(...)

Make sure you check out the worksheet

and- Which will be linked in our show notes. Yep, it will be linked in our show notes.(...) Also try and put it up on our website so people can access it there on our mini series page,

but make sure you tune in there so that you can actually educate yourself on what external influences might be keeping you from hearing your inner voice and identifying a few of these things so that we can all be on the journey together.

(...)

Can't wait to bring all of our voices to the next.

(...)

All of them, get ready, get ready.

I know my name is for everyone.

(...)

Exactly, yeah. Thank you so much. This was lovely, thank you. I'm so excited for the journey we're gonna take people on.

Me, so I'm gonna be on the journey. I was gonna say I'm excited for my journey. Oh yeah. Can you just take us on the journey?

Yes, I will, I actually will. It'll be great, I love it.(...) Love it so much. Thanks, bye. See you next time. Yeah, thank you, bye.

(...)