The Power of Music in Caregiving with Lisa Peterson

In this episode of Hope Floats, hosts Rachel Coady and Shoshawna Rainwater welcome licensed music therapist Lisa Peterson, founder of  Come on, Let's Sing   comeonletssing.com , who shares her journey and insights on music's profound impact in dementia caregiving. Lisa discusses how music can foster connection, reduce anxiety, and empower caregivers, emphasizing that every human is innately musical. The conversation explores practical applications of music therapy, including the benefits of humming and creating playlists that resonate with loved ones' memories. Through personal stories and professional experiences, the episode highlights the transformative power of music in enhancing the quality of life for individuals with dementia and their caregivers. In this conversation, Lisa shares insights on the importance of self-care for caregivers, practical tools for stress relief, and the role of fun in caregiving. She introduces the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping as a quick self-soothing method.The discussion highlights how caregivers can embrace their musical nature to foster connection and joy, even in challenging situations.

Takeaways:

• Everyone is inherently musical, which can be a powerful tool for connection.
• Music enhances cognitive function and emotional connection in dementia care.
• Music therapy can create meaningful connections for those with dementia, and  lower anxiety and improve emotional well-being.
• Learn more about Lisa's work at comeonletssing.com 
• Caregivers can use music and their musicality to connect with and enhance their caregiving experience.
• Humming is a natural self-soothing behavior that calms the nervous system.
• Every human has an innate musicality that can be tapped into.
• Creating playlists of familiar songs can evoke positive memories.
• Music serves as a powerful communication tool when words fail.
• Empowering caregivers with music resources can enhance their confidence.
• Music can help create a sense of safety and predictability for individuals with dementia. 
• Acknowledging both stress and self-compassion is crucial for caregivers and practical tools like EFT tapping can provide quick stress relief for caregivers.
• Incorporating fun into caregiving can improve both caregiver and patient well-being.
• Sound and vibration play a significant role in emotional and physical well-being.

Transcript

Rachel Coady (00:05)

Welcome to Hope Floats, a podcast for people who are navigating caregiving and dementia. I’m Rachel Coady, a professional certified coach and the daughter of a person who had dementia.

Shoshawna Rainwater (00:17)

And I'm Shoshaw na Rainwater, social worker and dementia consultant in Portland, Oregon, supporting caregivers who are caring for a person with dementia. I'm also the daughter of a person who's living with dementia.

Rachel Coady (00:28)

Listeners, if you're enjoying listening to the Hope Floats Podcast, we now have a new way that you can support us. In addition to subscribing and sharing our episodes with others, you can now go to our site or make a Venmo donation to @HopeFloatspodcast. This helps us cover our production costs for these episodes and resources. We are so grateful for your ongoing support.

Shoshawna Rainwater (00:52)

On today's episode, we welcome music therapist Lisa Peterson, owner and founder of Come On, Let's Sing.  Lisa is a nationally board certified and Oregon State licensed music therapist. Lisa helps family members and care providers for people experiencing memory loss to have better moments and days together, using our inherent and natural impulse to be musical together. She's been passionate about improving the quality of life for elders with memory loss through her music therapy practice since 1992. Her company, Come On Let's Sing, was founded to empower caregivers to easily access the power of music to bring more meaning and joy into their caregiving relationship. Come On Let's Sing has developed powerful, easy to use music materials and resources that help build effective communication bridges and connections between ourselves and the people we care for. We're delighted to welcome Lisa to the podcast today. Hi, Lisa.

Lisa Peterson (01:53)

Hi Shoshawna and Rachel.

Rachel Coady (01:55)

Thanks so much for being here.

Shoshawna Rainwater (01:59)

Yeah.  Lisa, we'd love to get started by learning a little bit more about how you got here. Music is clearly such a huge part of your life and we're curious, how and when did you know that music was going to be front and center in your life?

Lisa Peterson (02:16)

Great question. Music, as far back as I can remember, has been really important to me. I think because I grew up kind of as a shy child, not having a lot of skills to connect with other people and to feel like I belonged. And quickly, I would say, I don't know, my early years, before I was five, I had musical connections with my grandparents. Both my grandparents were musical. My grandma played organ and piano and my grandpa sang and played the bones and the malcarp and all kinds of fun things. And he had a great ear. And so I think some of my earliest positive connecting memories to other people were musical. And they were connected to my safe people were my grandparents. And so at a young age, those two things were glued together; music and older adults for me were safe, fun places to connect. 

And so I started playing piano at age five. I started taking flute, you know, in school. When I got to my high school years, my grandpa was having some health problems and he was declining fairly quickly. And I found that music again was a savior to help me connect to him and have him connect to other people  through playing his harmonica in a hospital room, which was, you know, cold and isolative and just pulled his dignity, I think, away from him. And as soon as he got that power of music back in his hands, he was connecting with me, my grandma, my mom, all the staff. And I thought “this moment is so definitive.”

For me, I knew, like, I was grappling with, “what do I do with the rest of my life?”  And in that moment, I knew this is what I need to do. I need to bring this experience of connection, love, joy, even in the midst of pain, disconnection, and I don't know, loss. And so, yeah, I went to school for music therapy. I focused on people, older adults. And then when I got out into the world, I discovered that, you know, there was a great need for music interventions with people with dementia because it was one of the most powerful modalities to stay connected to them and have them feel safe and connected and have fun and dignity and all those things that I needed as a child and I got, and I wanted to give back and continue that journey.

Rachel Coady (04:47)

And so, as you've done this work over time now working with families and patients, maybe describe what your practice is today. What happens through Come On, Let's Sing?

Lisa Peterson (04:59)

Okay, so Come On, Let's Sing, I have many branches here. One of the things that I have done, it was spawned by the whole COVID thing. I was doing music therapy with individuals in assisted livings through hospice through I just I'm a self-employed contractor. So I was working in many different avenues doing music. And then all of sudden it was cut off and I couldn't go into facilities and do groups or individual work. And so I saw when I would do video music with people that the caregiver was a very instrumental part in it being successful. But they didn't have confidence. A lot of times they were like, “oh, I can't sing. I can't carry a tune in a bucket;”  but I could see their silliness, their dancing, their humming. They're like trying to get the residents engaged was the key, was the power key to making music a health modality that everybody has access to. 

So I would say my work right now incorporates the materials that I created through a weekly newsletter to all my clients, giving them caregiving tips, giving them self-care tips, giving them like a 20-minute music program that they can do with their loved one. And just really fun bite-size tips that they can use every week. So that's a big part of my week, creating that newsletter and distributing it. I also work with communities. So in Forest Grove, we have a song circle where the community comes together and people bring their guitars. I bring my accordion and we sing and we use the books that I created during COVID and it's 101 songs, timeless songs. So like we have stories and memories and they're like, “this is the best, this is the highlight of my week. This is the thing that makes me happy.” And so that's great. 

I also work for hospice. So I go into people's homes and sometimes it's family that I'm working with and getting music ideas and we all sing together. Sometimes I work just with the families because the person on hospice is sleeping. And I get to see them reconnect to their love of music.  And I think in times of stress when you're caregiving you forget like these things fall away so I feel like that's part of my job is to remind them that this is a resource that they have either music listening or humming or using music while they're caregiving, using music as a sleep aid.  Like there's so many uses of music. 

So I feel like my job is to, in the moment, be a music therapist and also be empowering other people that they have access. It's not like relegated to musicians or music therapists. Music is part of who we are it’s how we- it was our first language with our caregivers. There's a term for it, it's “communicative musicality”; it's like how you talk to somebody through non-specific verbals.

Shoshawna Rainwater (08:03)

Say more about that, Lisa.

Rachel Coady (08:05 )

Yeah.

Lisa Peterson (08:05)

All it's really cool. When I was researching this, I found that there's a theory of communication, and it was really popularized by Albert–I don't know how to pronounce his last name–Merabian, but it's called the “7-38-55 Rule.” So when you're communicating, especially emotional content or maybe caregiving content, 7 % only is the actual words that you're using. 38% is your tone of voice.   Like if you're saying,” hello, I'm so glad to see you today. How are you?” Like your tone of voice is conveying roughness, like disconnection, like fear maybe. But if you say, “hey, mom, I'm so happy to see you today. Guess what we're gonna do today?” My tone of voice is enthusiastic, it's joyful. So that's 38% 

And then 55% this theory goes is your body language. So this speaks to like when you come up to somebody, don't walk behind them and start talking to them, walk in front, get down to eye level, don't tower over them, create as much body cue safety as you can; ‘cause that's 55% of our communication is what we're doing with our bodies. Like if we come up to somebody and we're like, “How are you doing? I'm so glad to see you.” And I'm like squeezing my fist and scrunching my face, they're gonna back off even though my words are friendly. So I want my heart to be open. I want my shoulders to be soft. I want all these cues. 

Shoshawna Rainwater (09:41)

You said something really interesting when I've heard you talk before, Lisa, about how every human is innately musical. And you just spoke to that piece and helped us understand, too, so much of our communication is not words.  And that really matters in this landscape of dementia as our brains lose the ability to make sense of language. It's a very common loss in the dementia landscape. And what we're left with is tone and affect, meaning the way that our faces and the way our bodies show up in the presence of other people. And I've heard others describe this experience as we are emotional mirrors for a person with dementia. 

And so because of the loss of the ability to sort of self-regulate one's own emotion in the ways that we have historically, people with dementia are constantly watching us and picking up cues from us about “how should I feel in this moment?”  So it really matters the way that we show up.  

You've talked a lot about music lowering anxiety and depression and some of the other more challenging experiences of being a caregiver. Can you speak a little bit more to that? How does this help lower stress?

Lisa Peterson (11:03)

Yes.  We are, as the caregivers, creating cues for how to be, what's coming next, because there's a lot of unpredictability for a person with dementia. They don't know where they are, what's happening next. And when you start to incorporate music, singing. There's two things here. So you can respond in a musical way to the person you're caring for. So a person with dementia is making a sound, say humming–going back to what you were talking about earlier; if they're humming, if you match them, so this is another, if you can equalize the power dynamic a little bit through music and rhythm and in training with them. So if they're making a sound, they're the leader. If you start to follow them and that feels really good because competence in so many areas is decreasing. But if you show them that they're competent and they're your leader, it lifts the morale and like “we're, we're equals” and it's not just you you over me. 

So if somebody with dementia is humming or they're just saying a repetitive sound that happens a lot to you like “help me, help me, help me.”  You say (sings).   I had this woman in in her room. I wanted her to come to my music group, but she was stuck in her room repetitively saying, “help me, help me help me” but if I listen to the rhythm, it was a rhythm to it- “help me, help me. Yes. I'll help you, help you. Yes. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. Yes. Yes. Let me help you.” And she like stopped and she looked at me, “help me. Yes. Yes. Help me.”  So I added a word. She added a word. And then I just moved it into like a song like, “la, ba da da da da da. Yes. Come with me, come with me, let's make music. I'll help you, I'll help you, I'll help you right now.” 

And so we were singing all the way down to the music room. We started singing with other people. I added a drum beat to her rhythm. So I let her be the leader. I wasn't trying to like shut her down. I was drawing out what she was expressing. She was communicating the only way she knew how through rhythm, through sounds, because she needed connection. So I looked at it as an effective communication she was giving me. I was letting her be the leader. I was working with her. I was in training to her. And there's this thing called the “ISO principle.” So you meet them where they are, and then you take them to where you want them to go or where would be most beneficial. 

Like I had a woman, she would pace, pace, pace, pace, pace. So I went to go do music therapy with her, but she was like pacing, pacing. Didn't see me, didn't notice me. She was just on a mission. And the staff were concerned because she had been pacing all night. She hadn't slept. And at this point it's like a fall hazard. So I walked right next to her. I was like, “what's her pace? What's her pace?” (sings) “The eyes of Texas are upon you.” I was going her pace, walking pace.

And then she'd look at me and I was like, “yeah (sings).”  And then I was able to take that song and then go, (sings) “Oh when the saints…”  go a little bit slower and she matched me. So first I matched her and then we were in sync and then I could go a little slower, go a little slower. And I was taking each song a little slower. And then I moved into a waltz like, (sings) “Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam….” And that song took us into her bedroom. She laid down on her bed. I played another song like, (sings) “My Bonnie lies over the ocean….”  She like closed her eyes. She looked at me like she fell asleep. It took me maybe 45 minutes, that whole arc, but she got in bed. She fell asleep and the staff were ecstatic. She's like gonna sleep. She's gonna be safe. 

And that's something that caregivers could do, you could have on your, you know, make yourself a playlist.  If this is a regular occurrence, what are the songs that you could be singing or humming along to? You don't have to carry it yourself. You can use technology to take someone on a journey.

Rachel Coady (15:28)

I really love how you're helping us understand that music is actually its own language, its own conversation that you can have. So many parts of dementia caregiving just feel like they're full of unexpected corners and you don't know exactly which version of your loved one you're going to be spending time with that day. And you know, there can be paranoia and anger and all these feelings, but music is this like amazing neutralizer.

And it's funny, you mentioned the playlist. I was telling Shoshawna, I made playlists when my mom's disease started increasing that were full of songs from her childhood that took her back to like her happiest moments or most vivid memories. And then I had another one that was more full of like when she was kind of in young adulthood and, the 60s and all the folk music that she loved.

And then actually made a playlist for her when she was passing and we were, we were by her bedside as she was dying. And it was just music that really kind of was her heart music, that she loved. And they're just treasures, but it made the amount of calm or happiness or peace that it let us be in when we would start playing music was profound. It would change her whole energy in a day to have music she loved around her.

Lisa Peterson (16:47)

Wow, that was a gift. You gave her a great gift of familiarity, of predictability, of safety, of connection. Yeah,

Rachel Coady (16:53)

Yeah. 

Lisa Peterson (16:54)

Yeah this reminds me, psychologists have done research to find out when our brain takes in the most memories and it's between age 10 and age 30.  Our brain takes in more data, more information, more memories than any other time in our life and it tends to skew our brain into thinking those were the good old days. 

Rachel Coady (17:16)

Uh huh (laughs) 

Lisa Peterson (17:17)

So like when we're 40s, 50s, we're like, “oh, that was the good old days.” So if you find music of the person you're caring for between 10 and 30 that they listen to, that's your golden like get into like their golden age memories of, “oh, listen to that, look at that.” And I actually, I got so excited about it, I spent, I don't know how many hours researching songs for people born between 1920 and 1970. So when they were born in 1920, they're memory bump years, they would have remembered, you know, stored away more music memories than any other time in their life. From age 10 to 30, would be 1930 to 1950, right? And then I made like a big poster with all the songs. And so some of the facilities that I've worked with will print these out and circle or highlight the ones that are important to that person and put it on the outside of their door.

And so people know like what songs to sing, what songs would be connected to them. And so that's another free resource. If people want to write to me, I'll send them a link. Just tell me if they were born between 1920 and 1970 and I have a memory bump poster you can print out for yourself and start having fun with it. I've had some great stories where they sit and they start listening and like all these memories pop up of, you know, if it's a parent they didn't know these things about their parent, but the music sort of brings them out. So you just write to me an email and I'll send you a link to that poster for your year.

Rachel Coady (18:54)

And listeners will include all of Lisa's contact information and her website on our show notes and on our website for this episode as well. That's amazing. What a great key to kind of unlock. That's great.

Music transition

Shoshawna Rainwater (19:15)

Lisa, I was thinking about the important work that you do around helping us understand how much using our own voices can be a soother. And when my mom was living with myself and my family, she was in the early parts of her disease experience, so early stage dementia. And she had what I called at the time a “behavior,” an unwelcome vocalization that would get under my skin and I know under the skin of the people that I lived with, too. And that was that she was a constant hummer.  And it was something she would do quite often, if not almost all the time when she was awake. And I didn't understand why or what she was doing. I was activated by it because it felt just like, “gosh, this is just another thing. She just doesn't realize her impact on other people around her”.

I've gained some insight through support of others since then that’s helped me understand it was a significant self-soothing behavior that she was doing and was probably one of the best things that her brain knew how to do at that time. And she couldn't help it. I had told Rachel, I had even in retrospect this ridiculous conversation with her about “I'm really noticing you're humming a lot. I'd really appreciate if you could pause that when you're in the presence of other people. It's fine if you want to do it in your own room or outside, but please don't,” you know, which was in retrospect, a ridiculous ask of this person whose brain was changing. And I just didn't understand it or appreciate it for what a beautiful thing it was that she was doing.

Lisa Peterson (21:06)

Yeah.  I mean humming we stop humming when we're grown-ups so it's it's like not a behavior we're used to; however, it is a really like you said self-soothing behavior and it's a way to put our brain and nervous system more into parasympathetic instead of sympathetic stress mode so it was one of her ways.

Shoshawna Rainwater (21:26)

Can you say a little bit more for people who may not know what “parasympathetic” and “sympathetic” mean? 

Lisa Peterson  (21:32)

Just to briefly say it like “parasympathetic” would be when you're resting and digesting, they say. So you're able to rest, you're relaxed, you're outside, you're breathing deeply, calmly. And I would say “sympathetic” is more like you're ready for action. You're activated, like “what's happening? Am I safe?”  So you're more on alert.  It's a way to calm our nervous system down so all the functions can be working. 

Rachel Coady (22:04)

And humming is something you can do that actually does that?

Lisa Peterson (22:08)

Yeah, so there are books now. There's a whole book just on humming by Jonathan Goldman and it won some awards because it actually is a very health promoting activity. It helps physically. helps, I don't know, lower blood pressure. Like I read this story, there's somebody who medication wasn't working. She needed to have surgery, but she couldn't because the blood pressure was so high. And she's like, “wait a minute, I need to just go hum and sing my favorite song for five or 10 minutes.”  She did that and her blood pressure went down so they could do the surgery. 

Just a few examples is such a huge topic too much for today, but it can change your state. So if you're in a stress state, I would say it's one of my top tips for caregivers. If you start humming just like on a note, pick a note, you can pick a tune, but just a note, it'll change your state if you hold it and hum it for like a minute. It can bring new insight, can calm you down, it can deepen your breathing. And one of the big things I say, if you have trouble sleeping, I know a lot of people, caregivers and people with dementia have trouble sleeping. So we have our own pharmacopia sort of in our bodies if we learn how to release it. And humming is one of the ways we can release so many good-for-you chemicals and one of them is melatonin so if you hum for five minutes before bed you release enough melatonin to fall asleep and stay asleep. 

Rachel Coady (23:49)

I’m trying this tonight.  This is amazing!

Shoshawna Rainwater (23:40)

Yes! (laughs)

Lisa Peterson (23:42)

Actually I have a ten year-old daughter and she had trouble sleeping and so I went in I said okay let's do her humming so we held hands, she laid down and we hummed and I watched my clock for five minutes she like she'd take a breath, you could play like harmonize, could make it fun; but we hummed for five minutes and I turned out the light and I said “good night.”  And she said “it's not gonna work.”  And like five minutes later I looked in, was sound asleep and she slept through the night. So like people say “it's not gonna work” or “it's so simple,” but that's the point, we're musical beings and music, if we use it correctly, can improve every area of our life–the humming just being one example. 

So, you know, if you're humming for five minutes, melatonin, yes. Also humming, you increase your oxytocin, so your love hormone. Like you were talking about, I've met people who have hit or assaulted their husband because they thought that they were an intruder in their house because they had dementia. And so if they start to using music together, it decreases that “stranger danger” like fear and all of a sudden that person who's humming and singing with you is a friend not a foe. 

So it can really shift that dynamic just by singing and humming together long tones or a tune or turn on some music and hum together. It can really affect the brain and all the chemicals that are released you know positive chemicals of, you know, the dopamine the positive endorphins the oxytocin, the melatonin.

Shoshawna Rainwater (25:19)

I love this so much because one of the things that Rachel and I and I'm sure you hear too, Lisa, from caregivers is the messaging I get is “you must, you need to take care of yourself. You need to carve out time to go get a massage. You need to take a vacation.” And caregivers say “how? How would you like me to operationalize that? Who's going to take care of my person who doesn't want anybody else to take care of them?”  And I think these practical tools that are available to anybody are what are going to make a huge difference for people. 

What other tips or things could people do that are kind of at top of your mind or tip of your toolbox?

Lisa Peterson (26:02)

Well, on my YouTube channel, I have some videos that are great sing-along videos people can sing along to.  But there's also in addition to the humming sometimes I'll pair humming and it's called a tapping technique–EFT tapping–so it adds the element of rhythm to really special spots on our body.

 Shoshawna Rainwater (26:23)

EFT stands for?

Lisa Peterson (26:25)

It stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.

Shoshawna Rainwater (26:28)

Oh boy, who wouldn't want that? That sounds great.

Lisa Peterson (26:30)

I know. So if you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed and you don't have the money, time, resource to go take a vacation, but you need five minutes of mental peace, you can go through this routine. You speak your stressor, and you offer yourself self-acceptance, and you do some tapping. Is this a good time to just go through like a quick?

Rachel Coady (26:54)

Yeah, let's do a demo. 

Lisa Peterson (26:55)

Okay, so if you want the full nine points, you can watch any video. I can also make that accessible if you send me an email. But, you know, the karate chop point. So if you go between like on the outside of your hand, if you think about karate chopping something, I would say tap that with three or four fingers of your other hand and tap that while you speak your stressor. “Even though I am so stressed and feel guilty about all this stress for caring for my loved one, I love and accept myself right here and right now.”  And you say that three times. 

And you can feel, I could feel myself breathing. Like it changes your breath. It takes you more into that sympathetic or parasympathetic. “So even though I feel so stressed and I actually feel guilty for feeling stressed, I love and accept myself right here and right now. I offer myself care. Even though I feel stressed and all this care that I'm giving. I love and accept myself deeply and completely.”  Just notice your breath, if it gets a little deeper and calmer. And then take those three fingers of one hand and tap the top of your head that point at the very top of your head. Just notice your breathing and you can add a little hum if you want.

Then take that tapping to the innermost corner of one of your eyebrows. It doesn't matter. The research says it doesn't matter if it's the right side or the left side, right hand or left hand; it's just the points and hum and you're giving yourself love while accepting the stress.  And then on the outside of your eyebrow like towards your ear, there's a bone on the outside of your eye. Just tap that while you can add your home.  

And then under your eye, like so directly under that pupil, about an inch.  We'll just do the ones on the face.  And then under your nose right between your nose and your lip you're humming and giving yourself love while recognizing the stress. And then between your chin and your lower lip tapping and humming.  And then we'll end right in the center of your chest bone. And just notice, I feel myself more into a relaxed state. 

Shoshawna Rainwater (29:22)

Mm-hmm.

Lisa Peterson (29:22)

And that was like 30, 40 seconds, maybe a minute. So that's a minute. You're adding humming. You're adding the rhythm to these points that send signals of safety to your brain.

Shoshawna Rainwater (29:33)

And you're also speaking to yourself, you're acknowledging, you're doing something, two things, two really valuable things. You're speaking the truth to yourself about your level of distress or grief or all of the feelings you're having and also acknowledging, “and “I'm worthy of love and self-compassion and care.” 

Lisa Peterson (29:55)

Yeah, love and care. And this moment of self-care that I can do anytime. I'm using my voice, I'm using my compassion, I'm using these points that send signals of safety to my brain, which I need right now.

Shoshawna Rainwater (30:09)

I always like to imagine we've got at least one person who's like, “that's New Age. I'm not gonna do that.”  These nine points that we just spent time on are the same points that have been around in some cultures for over 4,000 years as a tool for wellness. So when we say “New Age,” it's actually very old age. And it's been around for thousands and thousands of years as a very good self-soothing tool.

Lisa Peterson (30:34)

It's used for pain relief, it's used for stress relief; it's used for healing on so many levels.

Rachel Coady (30:40)

In doing that exercise with you now, it's been a couple of years since I was in a pretty full time caregiving mode and it dawns on me. I don't think I ever really accepted or allowed those two parts of me to be together. So I could be, “I'm stressed and overwhelmed and this sucks and I don't know what to do.”  But later a caregiver, “some other resource will help or my family's coming in, I get a break.” And then when I was in that break, it was like, “I'm doing my best. It's going to be okay. We'll make it through this.” But that exercise literally allows you to kind of confront the two truths at the same time and accept them. 

Lisa Peterson (31:21)

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Coady (31:22)

And that is such a powerful reality, I think, as caregivers who are often kind of meeting new and new depths to this journey that are really challenging.  To remind ourselves that “you are able, you are being in both of these realities and you are loving and supporting yourself in that complexity.”  It's really, literally touching, but thank you for sharing that. 

Lisa Peterson (31:46)

Yeah, you're welcome.

 Music transition

Shoshawna Rainwater (32:02)

One of the things, Lisa, that I was surprised to hear when I saw you speak before was enthusiasm around how fun we can aim to make caregiving be. And I don't think many of us think about “fun” and “dementia caregiving” in even the same sentence.

Rachel Coady (32:22)

Nope. Nope, we did not.

Shoshawna Rainwater (32:27)

Joyce Beadle, who is a local here in Portland, a local dementia consultant and a fantastic leader in this area. And one of her main themes is to aim to enjoy being together.

And when she says that to audiences, they kind of give her this side eye, like, “are you kidding? Tell me how you think that's possible?”  And by the time she's done talking, we understand better that there are opportunities for enjoyment of one another still, even in the landscape of a lot of loss. Tell us more about how in the world can we reconcile this idea of fun in the dementia caregiving landscape?

Lisa Peterson (33:12)

Well three things come to mind, actually. I was doing a training at one of the facilities that I work with and I said, “what are the most challenging areas that aren't fun, that are super stressful and you wish wasn't part of your job?” And they said “showers. I can't stand giving showers.  “This person, you know fights, tries to bite me, kick me, screams at me.” And I said, “well, is there anybody on staff or in this case, you know, family, is there anybody in the family who can give them a shower easily?” And they're like, “yeah, Mary, she goes in there and she sings and dances and be silly. And she takes a shower with her and they're done like 20 minutes.” And I was like, “bingo!”  She puts on music, she sings, she dances and they have a fun time. 

And so, yeah, I mean, that speaks on so many levels of the facial expression, you know, the communication triangle that we looked at, the 7-38-55. The body language was fun, the tone of voice was fun, and they were singing together. So finding common ground music that's fun for you. So again, it's asking the caregiver to give them self-care, find the music that they like, incorporate the music.  That's one example using music during those challenging times.

Shoshawna Rainwater (34:34)

Can you also share the example that I heard you talk about about the med pass? Because getting people with dementia to take medicine can sometimes be challenging.

Lisa Peterson (34:43)

Yeah, so I have one med tech, she said she uses that phrase from Mary Poppins, (sings) “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”  And she was singing, making it fun and her people would, you know, eat the medicine, swallow the medicine. And she made it a fun interaction, you know, evoking memories and connection. And so again, it was her body language, was her tone of voice, it was her joy coming to the table.

Shoshawna Rainwater (35:14)

Instead of handing someone a cup and saying,”You need to take these! Your doctor ordered them!”, right? 

Lisa Peterson (35:19)

Yeah, because listen to your tone of voice. Did you hear your tone of voice? So different. 

Rachel Coady (35:21)

Yeah, it's so different. 

Lisa Peterson (35:24)

And your body language is authoritarian instead of like, (singing) “we're doing this together. I'll take mine. You take yours. We'll all feel better.”  And yeah, I realize that it's hard, changing attitudes when you're overwhelmed with all these tasks. How do you make it fun?  Yeah, so it's a daily practice. I would call it a daily practice that takes practice. And I haven't taken care of family with dementia. So I don't know from that standpoint. All I know is, I go in for my hour and then I leave. I see the best. People always say that “they're at their best when you're here” because music makes their brain function better.” 

Like I had a doctor in a Memory Care that I worked at, I did music three times a week there. And he's like, “when is that music therapist coming? I'm going right after her, because that's when I get the answers. That's when I get their best.” Like their brains working, they can verbalize more. And so like, as soon as I was done with my group, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, here comes the doctors doing their stuff. 

Rachel Coady (36:32)

That's great.

Shoshawna Rainwater (36:33)

That’s so good.

Lisa Peterson (36:35)

And the second thing is fun, going back to the sound. So when I do all this research about there's music you can use, and then there's the entrainment, like using the rhythm–our natural walking rhythm, our talking rhythm–like entrain to the person's walking like I did when they were pacing, and then sounds.  So if they're making sounds like, “Uhhhhhh” or groaning or whatever sounds, like match their sound “uhhhhhh.”  Some cultures across time use long tones like on vowel sounds to help balance different areas. 

And again, it sounds like “woo wooey,” but we make sounds like when we're in pain, we say, “Ugggggg” and that's providing a service for the body; it brings soothing to that area. So if somebody's making sounds, make sounds with them. “Ooooooo.” “Yummmmm!” Especially since, you know, the specificity of words maybe can't be processed or expressed anymore. Sounds are a great fun way. It brings out the child in all of us.

Rachel Coady (37:44)

Yeah.

Lisa Peterson (37:45)

You know, like yum, ooh, ah, ee.  So enjoy the sounds because our body loves vibration and sound. It helps our bodies to stay more fluid. It actually, I'm going to just do a quick side note. Eva Gotell is a Swedish researcher, particularly in this area of testing caregivers “using music,” “using recorded music,” “sung live music,” and “no music.”  And she said that “no music,” there was a lot of behaviors, especially in bathroom routines. When there was recorded music, those behaviors went down and more collaborative and body awareness increased. And then when there was sung and fun and laughing and singing, that live musical connection element, she said people were able to help better with their body. 

Instead of when there's no music, it was really hard to lift this person or maneuver them because they weren't helping; when they were singing, it increased body tone and body awareness and body collaboration. So it was easier physically, emotionally, and just socially to work with people when you were doing the live singing and music with them, which is pretty fascinating to me. 

I got to talk to her once and she said she didn't expect the physical aspect to improve but you know the physical aspect of the face, the collaboration, like the memory of how to brush their teeth and how to put on their pants was enhanced when they were singing.  

Rachel Coady (39:20)

Wow.

Lisa Peterson (39:21)

They weren't singing “pull up your pants or brush your teeth;” they were just singing and now all of a sudden like implicit memories from childhood were reconnected and they were able to participate more.

Rachel Coady (39:34)

I’m really aware of, as you're sharing all this with us today, how we come into the world, if we're lucky, blessed by a lot of music and songs. Some people are sung to in the womb. There's a lot of children's songs that teach us about how to be and what to do. And they are soothers and teachers when we're little and confused and kind of trying to figure out how we're supposed to be or what we're supposed to do. And then we kind of go, we have this like developmental music that like we identify with like you're saying in these major years. And then I feel like as adults we lose music a lot we don't make as much room for it.  

I love- I have music on all the time.  But a lot of people in the busyness of things don't have music, don't practice music or sing music. We know it's so good for our brains to play music and to sing and today learning more about humming. And then at the end chapter of our lives to that music again can come to our aid and help us know how to be and what to do is so cool to me. It's just beautiful.

Lisa Peterson (40:37)

Yeah, it's highly functional. It's a functional way of humans to connect and really tap into that the pharmacy we have in our own bodies.

Rachel Coady (40:46)

I love that. Lisa, as we're wrapping up, we're getting close on time and we're so grateful for the time you've given us today and to our listeners. One question we wanted to ask is if you had one hope that you wanted to share with our listeners today, what would it be?

Lisa Peterson (41:03)

My one hope would be that everybody knows that they are a musical being. They don't have to sing in tune. They don't have to dance in rhythm. They're already breathing in rhythm, speaking in rhythm, walking in rhythm, and they can use that as a really powerful way to connect to other people and themselves, even in the midst of stress and strain and feelings of isolation.

Rachel Coady (41:29)

Thank you so much.

Shoshawna Rainwater (41:31)

Thank you so much for all that you're doing and for this gift, sharing your gift. You have an incredible gift here.

Rachel Coady (41:38)

So, Lisa, you've shared a lot with us today. Are there any ways that our listeners could support your continued work with Come On, Let's Sing?

Lisa Peterson (41:47)

Okay, well, actually I just got a grant to be able to use a it's fairly new in the last maybe five or 10 years, Safe and Sound protocol. It's a listening program to help train our nervous system to feel safe in social situations and connecting with other people. There hasn't been a lot of research working with people with dementia and I would really like to change that. 

I would really like to see if Safe and Sound Protocol would be a really helpful, useful tool to people with dementia and their caregivers. And so I'm looking for a family member and somebody with dementia to try this resource and see if it's effective and helpful for you so we can make it available to other people. That would be wonderful.

Rachel Coady (42:33)

And if our listeners were interested in that, again, we'll have your website on our show notes, but just what's the best way to reach you?

Lisa Peterson (42:40)

comeonletssing@gmail.com. So the website is comeonletssing.com and then the email is comeonletsingatgmail.com.

Rachel Coady (42:50)

We'll make sure that's all on our site. 

Today we talked about the wide world of caregiving support in and available through music. We got to discuss the power of music with Lisa Peterson and her work as a music therapist and Come On Let's Sing. We learned about ways that we can soothe ourselves as well as the people that we're working with in caregiving and learned about lot of ways to have some more fun together and meet our loved ones where they are in this dementia journey.

Shoshawna Rainwater (43:25)

We'll be back in a few weeks with another Hope Floats episode. We're excited to cover more topics on the dementia journey and have more guests who will join us. Thank you for all you are doing and thank you for listening. 

Rachel Coady  (43:40)

You can always reach out to us here at Hope Floats with your questions or with topics you'd like us to discuss on the podcast. We're here if you want to share your experiences, and let us know what could help you navigate this journey. We want to support you. 

Shoshawna Rainwater  (43:55)

You’ll find us at our website hopefloatspodcast.com.  When you’re there, you can learn more about how to work individually with Rachel or Shoshawna for support with your specific circumstances or situation. That’s also where we’ll share more tools, resources, and libraries that can help people on this journey.

Rachel Coady  (44:13)

Never miss an episode of Hope Floats by following us wherever you listen to your podcasts and join our community at hopefloatspodcast.com.