From Invisible to Unstoppable: This Version of You

Key Takeaways:

• Habit Finder: A mathematically-designed assessment that reveals why people exhibit certain behaviors, offering objective insights compared to subjective personality tests.
• Mastering Habits of Thinking: Understanding our thinking patterns is key to changing behavior and achieving personal growth.
• Self-awareness: Being present with yourself and embracing self-recognition is essential for overcoming feelings of invisibility and creating breakthroughs.

Topics Covered:

• Understanding our habits of thinking: What is Habit Finder?

Personal Growth Journey

• Amanda, with 12 years of experience in coaching health and wellness habits, shares her personal story of feeling invisible despite being an outgoing person.
• Her breakthrough came from realizing the importance of self-recognition and slowing down to overcome the survival mode mindset.

The Power of Self-Awareness

• Slowing down and being present with oneself fosters personal growth.
• Recognizing that thoughts don’t define us allows us to change our habits of thinking.
• Embracing all parts of ourselves, including those filled with shame or regret, is vital for healing and progress.

Music as a Tool for Self-Connection

• Amanda shares how music helps her stay present and connect with her emotions.
• She offers listeners a playlist to encourage self-reflection and emotional connection.

Call to Action:

• Take the Habit Finder assessment to begin your journey toward better self-awareness and behavior change.
• Sign up for Amanda's newsletter for access to journaling prompts, the Habit Finder assessment, and a personalized playlist.
• Daily Challenge: Make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you.”

Next Steps:

• Join Amanda's newsletter to get exclusive access to:
  • Habit Finder assessment
  • Weekly journaling questions
  • A curated playlist for self-connection
• Daily Affirmation Challenge: Look at yourself in the mirror and practice self-love daily.

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Transcript

0:03

You're listening to Leading Victory, a podcast where we ask what makes you come alive and infuse you with the inspiration and courage to take action to live your victories, both big and small. I'm your host, Amanda Nicole. September, we are honoring Suicide Prevention Month, and remember those we have lost by shining bright in the love and hope we bring to each day. Remember to hit subscribe and share this episode with a friend. After all, we are truly better together. Enjoy the show.

Amanda Nichole: 0:36

Good morning and welcome back to leading victory. I hope you had an incredible weekend. I hope you were able to tap into the journaling questions that I sent out on Friday. If you want to be able to put into action the things that you've listened to during the week between the solo episode and the interview episode, be sure to sign up for the weekly email so that You're in on prizes. And you get weekly reflection and journaling questions to help you get into action around the things that you're learning about. As we spend time together, this is Choose Your Own Adventure, so I want to equip you not only to learn, but to take action. Because we know that when we take action, our self confidence goes up. We understand how to move forward and we establish a sense of efficacy and self confidence. Check the link in the show notes and register your email for that opportunity. Today I am excited to share with you a little bit more about Habit Finder and the assessment. You've been hearing about this idea around the habits of thinking, and I don't even know if you are aware that you have habits of thinking or if that's a completely new concept to you. For me, I have coached habits in the area of health and wellness for 12 years. And so I've read all of the major books as far as atomic habits seven habits of highly effective people. You put habit in the title and I've probably read it. Because I wanted to understand what drives behavior. My background is in psychology and I love understanding why people do what we do? If you're a true crime fan then that's probably why you're fascinated with it because we as human beings are fascinated by why people would do things and What drives behavior? My podcast helps you look at why you do certain things that you do and to help you go next level in your relationships, in your business, in your self worth. We're going to go next level together. And today I want to delve into what exactly drives behavior. So, if you have ever tried 75 Hard or if you are fascinated by the people that do, I was fascinated by it. I wanted to have that level of discipline. That level of dedication. And yet, there was this. resistance that kept coming up in me. This was when I had already gone through my weight loss journey. So I was already in the habit of working out. I was in the habit of eating healthy, but the heavy structure around it, somehow I felt so much resistance around. I don't know if it was just the sheer idea of 75 and if you miss it start over that seemed so harsh about this idea of grace that I like to somewhat live in. And if you've done 75 hard props to you. I think it's absolutely incredible and I think it's a great program. There are habits of thinking that some people have that allow them to embrace that kind of structure where other people are challenged to do that. And again, it all starts from the habits of thinking, I absolutely adore James Clear. I think what he teaches is brilliant, but I wanted to back the truck up because there are still some habits that I find myself in resistance of. And they just seemed so much harder. In my own journey as an entrepreneur, I felt like I kept hitting a glass ceiling, like this invisible ceiling that I was setting for myself, despite knowing my ability, despite my confidence, despite whatever it was, I would create that, that self sabotage or upper limit that seemed invisible to me. in my journey of coaching over 12 years, I invested in different forms of personal development. That was where I found Habit Finder I love learning about myself. So if there's an assessment to take, I'm all for it. I've taken the disc, I've taken Myers Briggs, I've taken Enneagram, I've taken Clifton Strength Finder, huge favorite of that one. I thought that Habit Finder fell into that idea where it was going to help me understand myself more. And the truth is, it does, but in a different way. the other personality tests that are out there, they're all equally amazing. I'm not knocking any one of them by any means, but I want to explain this delineation and why I was so impressed with, and why I chose to go the route of becoming certified in habit finder. So these other personality tests, when you take those tests, they ask a series of questions. And the way you answer, they'll output an answer. that is subjective to your answers and identify with your personality. The habit finder is actually something you cannot manipulate. It's mathematically designed, Nobel Peace Prize nominated. It's an objective measure. Where these other personality tests Let's look at subjective measures. Habit Finder is going to say objectively, okay, you're a D. Why do you show up like a D? You're an Enneagram 3. Why do you show up like an Enneagram 3? And I want to get real vulnerable with you about why I was seeking after this. Because there were parts of myself. That I was having a hard time embracing. I felt like they were the most obnoxious parts of me. The first test that helped me begin to embrace myself a little bit more was the absolutely Clifton strength finders, huge fan. But then I still wanted to know, but why am I showing up? Like, what am I doing with these, strengths? And if I'm not tapping into them, or if I'm letting the weakness side come into play, why? Our behavior, our actions are driven by our thoughts. Everything first starts as a thought inside your brain. If we can't measure our habits of thinking, how will we ever expect to change our behavior? If we can't first master or begin to master our habits of thinking, I'll say that again. If we desire to change our results, to change our behavior, how do we expect to do that without first understanding and beginning to harness our habits of thinking? So that's the path that I took. And it was a game changer for me, because I've been in counseling for over 20 years. I'm not going to unpack all that here, but I have sought out healing to understand myself, to be the best version of me that I can so that I can offer my best to those that I coach. And I was hitting a wall with the version of me that I was seeing every day. And I was frustrated. So I took the Habit Finder, I invested in doing a mastermind, and in that mastermind, there was an area that got touched on this was three or four years ago I guess, and I had never even considered it. when it came up, it floored me, because it was so spot on. It's like that truth, like you know that you know. And it was that I felt invisible. But it wasn't just that I felt invisible. I, despite being very social, very outgoing, I am an introvert by the way, I still felt to some degree invisible. And in high school,, I'm just turned 41 years old, y'all. Going back to high school is crazy town. However, when I was in high school, I was in yearbook, and I was the photographer. I was the person behind capturing all the moments of other people. Photographers are incredibly gifted, but in some ways, a good photographer is somewhat invisible, think about it. Your wedding photography, you almost don't even want to know that they're there and it's just magic what they come out with. And then moving on, I blended, right? I was in between when I helped with theater, I helped with, hair and makeup, right? In college, I supported the ministry. I never was teaching in that. I did things behind the scenes for so long. And that's somehow because somewhere in my story that I told myself in my brain, and again, this was my own story, nothing that was put on me, I felt invisible. And so I did things to reinforce that. So when I was working through this, My now husband, we were in a little tiffle because I was highly charged around this thing of being invisible. And a lot of my story continued to push that to the forefront and I would battle it with other people. Particularly those people who saw me at my core, for those people that saw me, I would fight back. about being seen. And it was one of those, tuffles with my now husband. I remember this was such a game changer moment for me. I remember him saying, you know, I'm like shouting at him. I was like, do you even see me? And he says to me, Amanda, I see you, but do you see you? And it broke me in such a beautiful way. If you have that defining moment where there's something in your psyche that just switches, it's almost hard to recall anything before that point. But that moment forward was like a domino effect for me. Being willing to allow others to know me, allow myself to, be closer into community. Like I always sought community, but there's something to be said about being known and fully loved for the version of you that you are. And being willing to be in a community that calls you forward, that calls you up into the best version of yourself, into victory, that's willing to allow you to lead your life in that way. I want to give you a few things that helped me to move forward. I really wanted to learn how to slow down a lot of my story comes from going from one moment of survival mode to another moment of survival mode. And publicly, I'm not sure you would know that about me. Sometimes I shared it. after the fact And that's what most people do, right? I think it was just. I was working through it because we can do one or two things when we're working through something we can completely vomit all over somebody like we talked about in Vicki's episode. We can totally emotionally vomit over somebody trying to relate, trying to be seen, trying to be validated, or we completely withdraw. This is about attachment styles. So there was a season of my life that I was super needy in trying to understand things and it did push people away. then I kind of went back to not being seen. I was moving from one survival mode to another survival mode. I felt like maybe if I could do enough, if I could just run fast enough, if I could just accomplish enough, if I could hit certain markers in my life by certain time frames, then somehow I'd arrive. When I understood that it was hard for me to see me, what that translated to is it was hard for me to be present with myself. It's hard for me to see me. Even despite the fact that I loved me, there were parts of me that were hard to be with. They held shame and they held decisions that I regretted and I didn't like. They held accountability and responsibility, we can't outrun ourselves because we are always with us. So the invitation is to be willing to see ourselves. to be present with ourselves, to slow down enough to just breathe. My coach during my mastermind in going through Habit Finder, he's well known for saying, if you want to feel better, you've got to get better at feeling. And that is something that. We talked about is that our feelings can move through us if we allow them to, but it takes slowing down and being willing to be present with ourselves with this version of you and understand that we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts will not overcome us. But if we're willing to measure our thoughts, we can begin to understand the habits of thinking that are draining our energy, the habits of thinking that might be fogging up the mirror or getting in the way because we are giving in to them. Remember, we're not our thoughts. It's just a habit. You can have a habit, but it doesn't have to define you. And that's something that I really want to encourage you with is that if you decide that you are curious and you want to take that Habitfinder assessment, you can go to the link in the bio, the show notes, get signed up for the emails, and let's pull back the curtain. Let's reveal that which has been Pulling your attention away from your natural genius from the version of you that you want to be. I keep saying this version of you and I want to give you a Little Easter eggs, I guess we'll call them there. I think that's what they're called in video games as Easter eggs, right? something that helps me be present with myself as well as understand myself is music. I'm a huge fan of music. I feel like when you go to a concert. It's such an incredible connection. For a moment, for a couple of hours, time stands still, and you are there in this community of people that are sharing this joint experience, but all experiencing something different at the same time, it's the most amazing thing. I love live music for that reason. It moves you in an incredible way. And if you have known me or you're getting to know me for a blink of a second, you know that I love Odeza. Each month, my solo episodes are partially titled from a song track. It's not going to be the same artist every month, but Another little giftie that I have for you is a playlist. So as you go through these episodes, if you're curious about what song is, how did I get here? Or this version of you, what are these songs? I put together a playlist for you. When you sign up for my. newsletter where you're getting the journaling notes you can get access to the habit finder assessment. I'm also going to give you access to this playlist and it's so fun. I hope you love it. I love these songs. I want to read you the lyrics to this version of you. This was the opening track to their most recent album, The Last Goodbye. And It brought me to tears because I was somewhere in between learning to unlearning being invisible and learning to see myself. And when I read these lyrics to you, I hope you can feel it and I hope that you can feel it for you. And then I hope you listen to the song and feel it even more, it's awesome. It says, this version of you simply becomes real. And you're right here with this version of you to see things as they really are. This version of you looking back at you, you looking back, this version of you welcoming you. This version of you saying yes, I'd like you to imagine. this version of you. Isn't that beautiful? You guys, I love it so much and it moves me to tears and it helps me to be present with myself and to understand that I am not my habits of thinking. And that as I lead my life one day at a time, that I can choose my habits of thinking. And when I move myself out of obligation, that state of, I have to, I need to, I must, I should, the panic, the overwhelm, that's just a, that's a choice. You guys, overwhelm and confusion is a choice. It's a self protective choice, but it's a choice. Distancing yourself from people is a choice. I want to invite you to explore the version of you that becomes unafraid to show up as you in the world. I want to invite you to explore the version of you that begins to believe that you're worth celebrating. I want to invite you to imagine the version of you that is excited to live again, that is excited to dream again. That experiences victory, not just because you get a high five, but because you were taking action one day, one step, one thought at a time over something that you thought you could never overcome. This version of you saying yes to you, to see things as they really are, to be present with yourself. You guys, we're going to take on this week and I have some exciting things coming up for you. An amazing interview coming up. So get plugged into the newsletter. If you identify with today and you've slightly feel invisible and you're learning to be present with yourself, there are times when staying connected, being connected. into a community that pulls you higher is going to be huge. in my 20 years of counseling, one on one, I did work y'all, but I couldn't get to the level that I got when I started to understand my habits of thinking that I was getting in my way. I wasn't willing to see me. so much of that happened in the context of a mastermind community. That was willing to go there, that was willing to open that door. The first step is taking an assessment to help you understand what those habits of thinking even are. That may be draining your energy, that may be getting in the way, that may be frustrating your every effort, despite your intentions of what you want to do. So click the link in the bio, click the link in the show notes. Get plugged into the newsletter and gain access to the habit finder assessment, I'm going to leave you with one question to really think about every day. When you get up, I don't even think this is a question so much as a challenge. I want to challenge you this week. The action that I challenge you with. is to begin to see yourself. When you brush your teeth, I want you to make eye contact in the mirror with yourself. even if you're giggling, make eye contact, give yourself a mental high five and be like, you're awesome. I love you so much. If you tell yourself that you love yourself, can you look yourself in the eyeballs? Be like, man, I love you and I'm so proud of you. You're doing some hard work. Keep going. If you do do it again. The next day, do it again. The next day. And see what beginning to see yourself changes for you in the day. so many of our habits of thinking are so busy critiquing ourselves and giving ourselves judgment that it's hard to hear the praise. It's hard to slow down and be with ourselves long enough to celebrate our humanity, to celebrate our willingness to make mistakes, which is all it is, is learning and to celebrate the fact that we are cherished and loved as humans. Do you see you? I'm excited to hear your feedback. Get plugged into the newsletter. Feel free to shoot me an email. Let's connect. Let's dialogue. I'm here for you. You're not alone in this journey. I am proud of you. I want you to head out into the week, give yourself a high five, start seeing yourself and start celebrating yourself one day, one step at a time. This version of you have a great day.