Embracing Transitions: Insights from Amy Kemp

Embracing Transitions: Letting Go, Slowing Down, and Building Lasting Growth

In this episode of Leading Victory, host Amanda Nicole welcomes Amy Kemp, owner and CEO of Amy Kemp Inc., to share her experiences and insights on personal growth and business transitions. Amy discusses the discomfort of change, the importance of self-worth, and how slowing down fosters healing and growth. As a certified Habitfinder coach, Amy has guided hundreds of female business leaders through various programs. She emphasizes authenticity in leadership, the journey to self-recognition, and the challenges and rewards of transitioning in professional life. Additionally, Amy talks about her new book 'I See You' and the significance of celebrating small victories.

00:00 Introduction to Leading Victory Podcast

00:28 Meet Amy Kemp: Personal Growth and Business Transitions

02:25 Amy's Journey: From Discomfort to Healing

06:53 The Power of Authentic Leadership

10:52 Redefining Victory and Integrity

12:42 Navigating Professional Transitions

16:09 Embracing Financial Worthiness

22:04 Consistency and Slow Growth in Business

29:59 Celebrating Small Wins and Guilt-Free Play

32:40 Final Thoughts and Weekend Advice

Connect with Amy at www.amykemp.com ; on Instagram or LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/amykempinc

Buy Amy's Book on Amazon HERE

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Transcript

0:02

You're listening to Leading Victory, a podcast where we ask what makes you come alive and infuse you with the inspiration and courage to take action to live your victories, both big and small. I'm your host, Amanda Nicole. In this episode, our guest, Amy Kemp, shares her experiences and insights on personal growth, Business transitions and leading with authenticity. Amy discusses the discomfort that accompanies change, the importance of self worth and how slowing down can create opportunities for healing and growth. Amy Kemp is the owner and CEO of Amy Kemp Inc. In her work within this growing company, Amy helps leaders and business professionals understand how deeply thought habits impact every part of their work and lives. As a certified Habitfinder coach, Amy has led over 400 female business leaders through a four month small group engagement called Encounter. She has worked through the habit finder curriculum with hundreds of leaders in the one to one setting and with leadership teams at and large companies. Some of the most popular topics in her library of offerings are money is a mirror and boundary is not a wall. Finally, with the launch of her book, I see you a guide for women to make more, have more, and be more. Amy created an opportunity for everyone to learn and engage with her and the principles that guide her coaching. You can learn more about Amy and her body of work at www. amykemp. com. Enjoy the show. All right. Today I am with you and I am so excited to introduce Amy to you. She has been one of my personal mentors and one of my favorite people to watch come alive in the world of creating victory and helping other people create victory. The reason I'm bringing Amy to you today is because she is a powerhouse in helping people move from point to point and being able to level up in who they are and their habits in life. She has recently released a book called I see you, of which I will be giving away some of those at the end of this as part of my launch month. Amy. You have this incredible journey of being able to see others. And on Monday, I talked about people being able to see themselves. And I'm curious. For you, did you ever have that space where you didn't see yourself? Oh, that's a great question. I think the way I would answer it is that there was a point, I don't know if it would, I would describe it as I couldn't see myself, but it was like I was watching myself from the outside. Oh, wow. Yeah. That was the first time that's ever really happened to me. I was. In the middle of a very significant professional transition, I was at a very large, energetic, enthusiastic event, and I remember feeling like I was watching myself from the sky looking down, and I was going through all of the motions. And I was saying the right words, but it was like my, it sounds funny, but my spirit was not connected to my body and I was watching and it was then I've never had that happen before that or since then, but I knew at that point that I needed to make a change that it was. Urgent and that I could not live that way, like with that separation. Wow. Yeah. What led up to that? What were you experiencing physiologically that you were pushing off? Well, so I believe that when you start to go through any kind of transition, one of the symptoms is that the things that you used to really love or that were really easy for you to do, or even if you, they were just like, you didn't even think about it, become Undoable where you're just, you almost feel sick at the thought of doing them. And there are things that you used to love. It's a really disconcerting feeling because it feels sort of like betrayal or like you're not being loyal. And actually what I've learned, especially in walking with a lot of people through transition and leaders, particularly because. When a leader goes through a transition, they are very aware of the fact that their change doesn't just impact them. It affects a whole group of people and sometimes thousands of people. And so it's even more intense and more difficult. When you have that added element. But that's one symptom without question is just that dread that sort of feeling of dread. And then I also believe when I started to go through that change of. From moving from one world to another there was a lot of like desire to take a survey and get approval and want everyone to understand why I had this really strong need to explain myself and it was really a difficult thing. I had to not feed that urge, right? I just had to learn to No, that I was going to make a series of decisions and that people were going to have a huge variety of reactions to my decisions and that that was their experience and not mine to manage. Wow. That's maturity at the top level. Oh, it sounds so clean and easy. It was a hot mess. It was just so messy because, and there were times I really didn't do that well, where I would sort of vomit on someone, you know, where I would say things that like that person wasn't ready to hear, didn't need to hear, or I didn't need their feedback on it. So it was very imperfect. I had to. Really kind of, I made some mistakes along the way, but learned pretty quickly that people's responses to my decisions were going to be very different and they were not mine to worry about. That's so powerful. Thank you. Something about you is that you are a very. impactful woman. And I'm curious if you always knew that was a trait that you had, or have you worked into that level of confidence? Definitely worked into it. I am not a, I agree with the word impactful because I love, I actually love that word. I'm not a loud, charismatic leader. I am a strategic, quiet, behind the scenes, one on one, developing of people leader, and the first environment in which I led, and maybe even as an athlete, it was more this Loud, charismatic, take charge kind of personality, or even just really excitable. And I tend to be more reserved and introspective. And so for a long time, I didn't think I was a leader because I didn't exhibit some of those external traits, or I didn't see myself as someone who really was impactful in that way. Um, so. But I really did learn to contrast myself and start to harness those unique things that only I can do, or that I do better than those other leaders and to start to lean into those and embrace them unapologetically while also celebrating the leaders who were different from me, but not trying to imitate them. So I'll give you an example. In my sales business, a lot of people would grow their businesses with large events. Sure. And I find events to be exceptionally draining. Yeah. Like I was at one yesterday and it's going to take me two days to recover. I mean, it's just, I'm an introvert. I don't, I like doses of people. I love doses of people, but not on like extended periods of time. Anyhow, for years, I was trying to like, and trying to build my business in that way until I finally just surrendered and started to say, what do I do best? Like, where am I the best in mind? We're one on one. Always teaching, which is very different from like a energy packed event type setting, right? But I'm a teacher and then really being strategic and using my analytical brain that is wired for business. So, yeah. The more I leaned into those, the more my business grew and then everyone was trying to imitate me, which was hilarious because that wasn't their gift, you know, and so it's just this whole journey of figuring out what are you best at and doing that and then letting other people do what they're best at and not trying to be what you're not. That's amazing. I love that. And you are so gifted in that as far as calling people out at what they're good at. You're welcome. And I think that's beautiful and unique about you because you can say some of the most challenging things and they can be received so well. Because you are incredibly authentic and I think that's something that really comes through in your book, but also in the way that you live. you are genuinely authentic. And I think that, Something that you had said to me earlier was how you look at leading victory and what that means to you. In accordance to your own story. So can you share a little bit about this idea of when you hear the phrase leading victory, what comes to mind about your own story that you're willing to share? Okay, I've thought about this since I actually, you POed the question a little bit more. Integrity is a vital core value to me, meaning I'm the same person in my living room, that I am in front of a thousand people and actually my business coach. That she's never worked with someone that had such a sensitive integrity meter, where if it's out of alignment for me, I almost can't I can't function, I don't, so if I feel like I'm not showing up in this space at home. With the same level of energy or integrity as I am with this space, it all breaks down. Yeah, I just have to be very in alignment. So I would say victory for me used to be, I want to Build my business to this size. I want to acquire this title. I want to earn this amount of money. And I still track all of those metrics because I actually love business. I just love growing a business. I find it to be so much fun. Like I just find the whole thing to be exciting. But now I would say victory to me is. It's so much more centered on where I am right this moment that I'm fully present and enjoying the creation of this day with these people where my feet are right now. It feels so much more centered in the now than it used to be. Wow. What did you have to release? Or give up in order to establish that degree of presence day to day. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, let me actually, I'll tell it through the story of transitioning from a world in which I was at the top of the mountain, meaning I was leading the number one team in the nation. Very publicly being celebrated, being asked to speak at things and being known, in a, in a small, tiny world, being famous, going through this feeling of transition of where things started to feel really uncomfortable that before I loved feeling exhaustion about things that used to energize me. And then also this. Like I described this feeling of being out of my body where I was almost like observing myself and never having experienced that. I just knew, Oh no, this, I can't do this. Like this isn't going to work. And so the things that I had to let go of were many I had to first let go of this narrative that says you only fail when you quit. Actually, what I had to do first was quit a whole bunch of things. I had to quit doing things for free that were worth thousands of dollars. I had to quit giving away my intellectual property and my natural genius for free. And it or in exchange just for affirmation and people telling me that it helped them. I had to quit. Needing the approval of people who were important or who were mentors in my life and had spoken had really developed me. I had to quit looking to them for approval because in this situation I wasn't going to get it. And I also had to quit taking responsibility for all of the people I was leading at such an unhealthy level. I had to let people have their own experiences and realize that they were adults who were making adult decisions and that I wasn't responsible for their experience. I had to let them have their experiences. So there were a lot of things I had to let go of. I also really. Lost some friendships that were important, it was painful and judgment on decisions. I was making, I knew was inaccurate, but I couldn't fight it. It wasn't going to do any good to try to explain. I just had to let it go. So there was some painful grieving and loss. And that was probably over a period of four or five years. Like I'm just now able to talk about it. It was painful and it was really difficult. But at the same time, I also think what came into my life as I made space for something new was astonishingly breathtakingly more than I could have asked or imagined. The more quiet I got and listened to my intuition, the more opportunities showed up that were so expansive. And so what I've always dreamed of doing. And so like, Whoa. But first I had to make the space for that. And there was a long time before the new things started to show up. As far as the money mindset goes, was there a space when you, in that transition that even in the success that you had, there was still scarcity in it. Like, if you let it go, what would happen? Let go of the other income? Or let go of that significance, of that being fame, of whatever you had achieved that was affirming you. That was terrifying. Yeah. Well, also, it like, pays our mortgage. Right. I mean, there's an element of real survival that comes up in your body when you walk through something like that. So every step I took away from something that was providing for us was very risky. I think that's another reason to go slowly through transitions. There's many reasons, but one is like just being wise about. Meeting your financial needs. I couldn't just blow it up. I had to walk away slowly enough so that I could grow something new to replace it. Kind of, I always kept thinking if I take the gas off over here slowly and then push it down over here a little more, and I do it in a way where there wouldn't be a gap. Yeah. I also knew that part of what was driving me to something new was a lot of learning I had done about being an under earner and that I deserve to earn more. This is funny. I just talked to someone I hadn't spoken to in probably 10 years and she and I had worked together in my past professional life and she found out what I'm doing now. And she said Oh, so people pay you that much. I love it. Yeah. And I said, you know, it's really great to get paid that much. Can I tell you what's even better? And she was like, yeah. And I said, what's even better is knowing I'm worth it. That is a mic drop that needs to be like highlighted and on a shirt selling on mugs everywhere, amykemp. com. It's not really about how much you make, right? It's not because the numbers are arbitrary. There's a lot for me could be a little for someone down the street or it could be a huge amount for someone else. What would be little to me. So again, all of that is just arbitrary numbers and we apply value to it or judgment to it. But there is this knowing that What I was giving away for free or doing for very little in another realm is exceptionally valuable. And not only that, but it always was that valuable. I've I'm that valuable. That's what I had to really own at a deeper level and step into. And I almost think for most people and for me, it's more uncomfortable to receive at a higher level financially than it is to struggle because struggles is really. known, like we know how to struggle, but abundance and what, how would you describe it? Affluence moving through the world without fear around money is so rare and If you have judgment about people who do that, it comes up. There's just a lot that you get to encounter when you step into a new level of earning. It's a daily walk. I bet. I bet. It's fun to watch you continue to move into that expanse because it brings up so much. I just love watching you play, like watching you work is like watching someone play. I think that's partially because you're in your natural genius. You are in your element full on were first many of the listeners. They are possibly thinking of starting a business, transitioning into business. So you're talking about that transition being slow, but what advice would you give to someone who has that idea, who wants to take that leap into possibly starting a business? Businesses are expensive to start or to get off the ground. the piece of advice I would give people is invest in you first, growing you first, because you can have all these really fancy systems, procedures, locations, ideas, you actually can have. exceptional things in all those categories. But if you have if you outpace your own level of personal growth and worthiness in terms of your earning, you will always limit how much income you can actually take from a business. And so I think there's this important element of growing you and. Your deserve level, your feeling of worthiness alongside growing a business that a lot of people want to skip or overlook. They just want to do the work and make the money. But entrepreneurship has a way I'll often say, if you want to know every unhealthy habit of thinking in your head, go ahead and start your own business. You know, it's just, it's like a beach ball that you've been holding underwater. It'll just like, And you just get to get smacked in the face with it. Hardcore. What a great description that is. So what's, what has been the key factor in your life that has allowed you to move through and develop that character endurance and your vision? Yeah. Oh, I'm annoyingly consistent. I'm not a sprinter. I don't want to be, but if you give me a long race and you say, do these three tiny things every day, I will do them every day. And I don't need the fireworks every day. I don't need to do the big, huge thing, but I will literally kill you with the boredom of my consistency. Like I will just. I don't know what it is in me that gives me the ability to stay focused on something, but the things that I track, the tiny millimeter steps that you take that grow a business, I will just do them every day. And I don't say that from a sense of, I'm better. I, that's not what I mean. I just mean, I think I don't have the expectation that it's going to be really exciting all the time. I think I I don't feel like it should be. And I think for most people, they think it should be. And I just don't, I just, I actually enjoy just the day to day grind of Make three calls or send three notes or write three emails that are proactive or make up, like all those just tiny little things that you do. I actually just really enjoy. Yeah. They create that structure that supports you rather than controls you. And sometimes it's like you win and sometimes you lose. I, but it's, I'm leaving to play pickleball right after this. And it's a lot like pickleball where, or like I played basketball in college and high school and growing up, but it was like, I really enjoyed the practice. I just, I really did. And I loved that in some days I'd have a great practice and some days I would stink and I just really enjoyed the, like getting back up and going back in there and working on a skill or working on a, doing the things for that day. So that I do think that is like one of my super powers in growing businesses, but I will also say none of my businesses have grown lightning fast. Sure. All of them have been like slow and steady. Over years and years and years and years. And partially because I was raised in little human beings that are now taller than me, but you know, all that transitioned, right? Yeah. Yeah. All that time I could only a lot, a certain amount of energy and time to it. So it had to grow more slowly along the way to protect that time. I love that you, Made it worth protecting. And I'm glad I did because I will tell you now that I have two kids in college, I have two in college and one in eighth grade. I know it sounds so cliche, but like it went so fast and I do think, Oh gosh, I, what if I would have missed it? Or what if I would have, I mean, there were times where I would get sucked into the work and the excitement. And frankly, work a lot of times is more fun than parenting. So no judgment. No, it's hard and like they're hard and sometimes they do annoying things or, sometimes you just don't feel like you're. Winning as a parent, right? And I knew I could win in work. And so sometimes I wanted, I would have rather worked, honestly. But I'm so glad that I didn't and that, that time was protected. Particularly now as they're like, in more adult things and I see who they're becoming and it's really fun. So that's cool. That's cool. I know we're starting to wind down. So I have a couple questions to end with, but I really feel led to ask this question because I, I'm not sure if people are aware of it and I think you can verbalize it really well, but you, when you're coming up in that space where there's that transition, but you are ambitious and driven in the way that you are, what is the sensation that happens inside your body that people overlook? It's like you're run. It's like you want to sprint, but you have a hundred pound shoes on or If, and if you do sprint, you could do it, but you're going to fall on your face. And so it's better to just slow down and take one deliberate step at a time and put your full energy into that step that day. Because if you go too fast through a transition of any kind you miss what it has for you. Yeah. And. This makes me think of yoga because sometimes when I'm doing yoga, if the teacher's like really slow at explaining where we're going next, I'm just like, would you just tell me what, where my foot is going to land or, but it's like that gap between where you're between poses. It's like that in between has a lot for you, but we want to rush through it and just get to the next thing. But that's actually where we strengthen our muscles and where we stretch them and where there's so much goodness in that in between. And so if we rush it, we miss that we don't get the benefit of it. As much in the same is true with a professional. I needed to work some stuff out. I needed to grieve. I needed to feel I needed to encounter some things that were really hard to encounter and then everything When you make a decision to move in a new direction, everything, unlike your brave decision will come up to be healed. Like everything that needs to, will come up to be healed. So when you start moving in that new, brave direction, you can anticipate that you're going to get to encounter some things and know that that's actually the point. That's the point. Yeah, it's refining. There's like this process that's happening in you that is needed and necessary and going to create in you what you need for the next part of your journey. Oh, that is incredible. Thank you for sharing that. That is a wealth of gold. You love the yoga. You love the yoga. I do love the yoga because the, it's like, I can see it and I can feel it. And it's what happens in that space in between is self control. And it's also trusting. It's trusting your teacher. It's trusting that they have your best interest in mind to continue this journey on your mat with you. And if you move past it too quickly, like you do, you lose alignment, you lose flow, you lose so much, but you learn to trust your body in that space in between. And the reasons I rush are I don't want to look stupid in front of everyone. I, I'm uncomfortable, like I legit am uncomfortable, but I think there's a lot happening there of like, I want to do it perfectly. So I want to be prepared. There's just a lot in there where you're like, Oh, yeah, rings true. Oh man. It's so, so good. At the end of those moments and in between, how have you learned to celebrate yourself? Because I think you could go, it sounds like, from success to success to success and never actually Celebrate. Celebrate. So what's helped you celebrate? I'm so good at celebrating now. I know. Yeah. I'm really, really good at it. And I, even funny things, but every time I will get a new client or something great happens in my business, I always do a private fist pump, which is just like, yes, like in my office by myself, I let myself celebrate. But I also really have made it a priority to build a ton of guilt free play into my life. Part of that is the freedom of having older kids. So if you are in a season of parenting babies, there's less opportunity for this. I recognize, but I have made it a top priority. I'm going to play pickleball tonight, taking walks with friends, going to lunch, small things, even like taking a walk in the middle of the day. I make sure that I build in like these celebrations, even after completing a difficult task in my office, like giving myself today, I sat out on our back porch for 20 minutes and just enjoyed the yard sat there because I had to celebrate that. I did something really hard that I didn't want to do. So I'm building that in not just. Big celebrations. I'm just about to hit a mile marker and how many books I've sold that I feel excited about. So I'm going to plan a celebration for that just along the way. I want to celebrate every tiny win because that's actually kind of the point too. I want to find joy in the journey of creating not just get there and then be exhausted. Yeah. Celebrate. I think something that I heard you say that I think really stands out is you play a guilt free play. Isn't these huge things like vacations or a new car or a new outfit or whatever. It doesn't even have to cost anything sitting on your porch, giving yourself the gift of time, giving yourself the gift of being present. Yeah. Flowers, hands in the dirt, reading a great book doing a puzzle. I mean, again, I'm kind of nerdy, like quiet. I like to do quiet things. My husband, if I'm doing a puzzle, he'll walk in. He's like, that's my worst nightmare. Like I'd rather do anything than a puzzle. So you have to find what it is for you. Right. But there are things where, I'm just, I'm going to do it now. I'm going to enjoy it. And I'm going to actually just find joy in it, in those tiny moments of the day because it is where the good stuff is. Absolutely. I love to send people off with a high five, going into the weekend with any type of advice that you'd like to give. So what is your best tip for our listeners going into the weekend? I think I'm going to talk to your listener as if it was someone who was ambitious, but scared, maybe, like you have a dream, you have something you want to do or create. And then you also have a lot of noise in your head. And I think, and I said this in a different way before, but I would say in some way, invest in growing you. You are doing that by listening to this podcast. You can do that by reading books. You can do that by, paying for offerings and things like that. Also, there's so many different levels, but whatever the next step is of taking care of you and growing you, that's, what's going to move the needle. It's not finding a tool out there, getting a certificate. It's just, it's in you, it's growing you. That is what you need. And so whatever that next tiny step is for you, just take it with courage. And say yes to the next tiny step. And slow down, go slow, slow down. I love it. Thank you so much, Amy. You are sunshine as always. And I appreciate you so much for being here today. Thank you so much. Thank you for taking the time to listen today for subscribing, for sharing this with friends, and for being a part of our community. If you haven't yet plugged into the community, be sure to click the link in my bios on Facebook or Instagram. And register your email. I'm giving away two of Amy's books for new subscribers or podcast listeners. So get in on that again. That's in the show notes below you can click, or you can go to leading victory podcast on Instagram or coach Amanda Nicole and connect with me there. I hope that you plug in, take advantage of the journaling questions that I send out via email to my community and stay connected. Have an amazing weekend and go lead the day with victory.