Leading Victory

Rising from the Ashes: Embracing Resilience and Self-Love with Lauren Ollila

• Amanda Workman-Yarnall • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Rising from the Ashes: Embracing Resilience and Self-Love with Lauren

In this episode of 'Leading Victory,' host Amanda Nicole interviews her friend Lauren, a former teacher and gym owner who is now a firefighter, EMT, and competitive CrossFitter. Lauren shares her journey of overcoming a damaging relationship, finding her purpose, and rebuilding her life. She discusses the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and committing to personal goals. Lauren inspires listeners to embrace their own journeys and the significance of putting themselves first to lead a life of integrity and joy.

00:50 Meet Lauren: A Journey of Resilience
02:06 Finding Positivity and Self-Care
03:28 Overcoming a Toxic Relationship
07:29 The Turning Point: Leaving the Past Behind
14:11 Rebuilding and Finding New Love
18:46 Embracing Authenticity in Relationships
19:24 Journey to Becoming a Firefighter
22:21 Overcoming Personal Struggles
25:07 The Power of Mindset and Action
33:08 Celebrating Small Wins
35:47 Be Your Own Hero
37:43 Final Thoughts and Weekend Challenge

Follow Lauren on Instagram (@fitlo) for updates on her cookbook and journey!

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Remember, every small step counts on your journey to victory. Until next time, keep leading with positivity and purpose!

You're listening to leading victory, a podcast where we ask what makes you come alive and infuse you with the inspiration and courage to take action. To live your victories, both big and small. I'm your host, Amanda, Nicole. Have you ever met someone? Who, despite the things that life throws at them, they have the ability to overcome and rise up and live life with joy. If you've ever wanted to peek inside the life of someone with that kind of resilience. He keep listening. Our guest today has some major quotables and you are going to love this episode and all of the inspiration and tidbits that it gives you. Enjoy.

Amanda:

Today I am welcoming my dear friend, Lauren. Lauren and I have known each other for the better part of a decade, actually, lauren comes to you as a former third grade teacher and a former gym owner. She now works as a firefighter and an EMT with a local Fort Collins department, she is also the most amazing competitive crossfitter, and she recently started something called tactical games. It's so fun to watch her grow and lead her life with victory. She's passionate about nutrition and meal prepping, and she's got this fun cookbook in the works. Her husband, Michael and their dog buddy live in Loveland, Colorado. We love running into each other in coffee shops. And that's actually where this conversation set up. I heard a piece of her story of what has happened over the past decade and she is the example of integrity endurance and overcoming. Lauren, you just inspire me so much. Watching your journey, gives hope that. There's so much purpose in continuing to get up every day and fight for what you stand for. tell me a little bit about what helps you move into each day, the way that you do with such ambition, optimism.

Lauren:

I do love positivity. that's something I've known for my entire life I love smiling. Smiling is my favorite. And taking joy in a lot of things. And being a light in this world. a lot of people have told me I'm not for them. over the last couple of years I've realized how much I need to be that for myself. And pour more into my bucket. The amount that's been able to bring me to give back to other people has been really cool. we give and give and give and we promise others things and we commit to others when it comes back to us committing to ourselves and loving and respecting ourselves, that's harder. so important. over the course of teaching and I even did some overseas teaching and loved it, loved kids, their positivity view of the world But I couldn't help but think I needed more. I was doing CrossFit at the time and I was like, coaching is? teaching, but fitness. I started to combine those two loves together which brought me so much joy. But again, I was giving so hard and lost track of taking care of myself and finding purpose in my daily life. Like you said, getting out of bed. I left a really bad relationship too. I was married for a long time we were high school sweethearts I realized how much I was doing that with him. I gave so much to him and got nothing in return I realized that wasn't right and I deserved better for myself. when I left him, I was in a real bad way, like homeless, broke, you know, all those things. I had a large support system, but I also had to fend for myself, and work hard looking back on those moments. I realized that the reason I got out of bed was because I want more. I want my reality, the woman that I see myself in a year from now and five years from now and 10 years from now to be proud of me, and that's honestly what gets me up is knowing that she deserves me. She deserves me to do more and be better for her because every moment you live, you realize you were that person five years ago. And was she doing right by you? Was she keeping promises? Was she committed? And if you can't answer that question with yeah, I considered myself on a daily basis and who I wanted to be and what I wanted with my life, then, that was where I started to make changes of like, Ooh, I'm not sure that's what I wanted. So that led me down the path of firefighting and finding more purpose and helping others. Filling my bucket with my fitness and nutrition and self love and self care and my relationships and giving back to me more than I gave to other people, because That's what we need to do. We need to put on our air mask before we put on others, you know?

Amanda:

So much easier said than done because of the narrative that happens around that. I love that we met at a random Valentine's event when you were with your first husband at, the Wolverine pub this place doesn't even do this community dinner anymore. is it okay if we dive in or you share a little bit more about that relationship? Cause it was. From what you tell me, a little bit more than just a hard relationship.

Lauren:

Yeah, it was, it was it kind of destroyed me as a person a little bit. I've been positive since I was really young and happy. And this person we were fine in the beginning, you wouldn't be with someone if you knew what it ended like. 100%. You're smarter than that. inevitably we dig ourselves into really big holes. we live in a place of who else would love me like that? how do I go anywhere else? we make this false reality where this is all we get. And that's not true. this person wanted me to be less, wanted me to be. a servant to him without giving back to me. I did everything. I cooked, I cleaned, I helped. And his excuse was that he worked a lot. as someone who works a lot now, you can still be really nice to your spouse. You can still contribute to the household. You can still love them. I think his love was conditional. I think a lot of relationships are like that and we don't realize it until it's done or till we're gone. someone that loves us unconditionally and we compare the two and we're like, Oh, you only loved me when I did this or you loved me more because I looked like this. And that's not real love, you know, that's a transactional relationship. Yeah. And I fully believe that I want to be my real self and unapologetically me, and happy, and I don't need to turn my volume down like you always told me to, and I don't need to listen to people justifying why they treat me poorly. that relationship was awful for me and he was verbally and emotionally abusive. But what came out of that was I know what I need. I know what I deserve and I know what love looks like and I know what it doesn't look like. it's hard. To leave, it's hard to say thank you, he brought me to Colorado. He taught me those lessons. I'm grateful that I went through all of that because it definitely made me more outwardly myself.

Amanda:

what was. The moment that clicked for you to give you the courage to step away, especially from a cyclical Abusive type of relationship like that.

Lauren:

Honestly, there was a event at our gym so where I came from everyone knew both of us like all our friends were our friends because we were high school sweethearts, Nobody ever really said anything about his behavior or what he said when I left the room. But then when I moved here and all of the people at the gym met him, they were like, was this an arranged marriage? I'm confused. why is he mean? Why is he rude? You're not like that? why is he mean to you? And I was justifying it. I was like, the long hours? He's a veterinarian. It's tough. He's stressed. did all those things in my head to feel like it was okay. But then one event we had, he was studying for some exam or something. we were having a blast at the gym. It was the St. Patrick's day thing. We're doing beer burpees and we got crazy. It was so great. I texted him to come get me because we were winded down. But then, right before he arrived, everyone was like, Let's grill. Let's grill out, have lunch, let's just hang out. when he got there, I was like, Hey, I'm so sorry you drove all the way up here, we lived in, Loveland at the time, so we had to drive, I was like, I just, I'd want to stay. I want to stay with them. You could stay. I want to stay, and someone else will drive me home. You don't have to drive back up here. he got a little physical. He got really angry, screamed at me that I always made these bad choices and didn't consider him first, which was never true. people kind of stepped in. and we're saying like, this is, this is the last straw for you. I did that thing. I was like, no, he had to drive. I understand. it's frustrating. He can yell. It's fine. But it wasn't fine. that was the true moment where I think their reaction hit me hard. I thought about that from then on out. a person in my life told me that I should write down everything I need, everything I want in my life. In both a partner and my goals and dreams, and then sit down and ask him if he can give me those things realistically. we did that. we went to marriage counseling and he did that thing where he pivoted 360, I always wanted tattoos. They're beautiful. he always told me tattoos are gross. Women that wear them are slutty. They're ugly. They're skanks. Like, all those words that,, are really inappropriate to use against women. And tattoos don't define that at all. but when I brought him this, I want tattoos. I want art on my body. He's like, oh, yeah. Well, fine. Get them. Get them. I don't care. And started to do that, like, don't leave me. don't go anywhere. I'll change my mind about everything that I've ever said to you. And that's when I realized, he's scared. he knows that I'm gone already. And he knows what he did. He knows that he was wrong. And it just never resolved itself. just having other people's reactions and having really honest conversations with him, that were hard. They weren't easy. It all came together. It was just like all I was like, oh, oh, oh.

Amanda:

That's such a great way. the step that you made was so bold because you came away with essentially nothing.

Lauren:

Nothing, nothing. He took he went, I was going to work when I finally gave my ring back and said, I'm done. I went to work and he went to the bank and took everything. He left me a 500 check on the kitchen counter. Gave me two hours to get what I could out. I didn't have a place to stay. I had a truckload of plastic tubs with my belongings in it and 500 to my name, which I had saved up about 40, 000. So I lost. my savings.

Amanda:

Right. Wow. Talk about rebuilding. That's not an experience that many people have. Crumbling to the ground, crumbling to the ground. It's almost like a punishment for expressing your voice and what you wanted.

Lauren:

Which isn't a good lesson, right? you think that your boldness, and courage would be redeemed with Oh, that makes sense. And you get, all this stuff, but truthfully in the end of it all, the real rub of it all is that I'm so much happier. I'm so much better. I have that money back, and I have love so it didn't take everything from me. If anything, it gave me what I needed to be where I am now. Absolutely. Oh, that's beautiful.

Amanda:

So the next step out of that, you still owned the gym and that was a huge part of your community.

Lauren:

Oh yeah. Yeah. And I mean, if it weren't for them, truthfully, that moment wouldn't have happened,

Amanda:

So then you had to make another really big decision, which was closing that gym. And as somebody who's closed. Fitness programs before it's painful. It's painful because you are that community's person the place that gathers. and yet I think they all understood. why it needed to close COVID.

Lauren:

Yeah,

Amanda:

Yeah.

Lauren:

So it was hard, but we reopened when we were allowed to after quarantine. we rented out all our equipment. I ran six classes a day on zoom. We did social events on Saturdays on zoom met at the pool. When we could, we started meeting at the park really far away from each other. we kept a lot of our membership, but not all of it. we were already struggling. I had to pay rent the whole time, which was really hard. We had a giant warehouse, so it was not cheap. And I, a lot of people, if they were like, I lost my job in COVID, I would give them time to not pay. And not a great business choice, but I still feel good about it. So we weren't making money and I inevitably, broke my lease at my own apartment and moved into the gym because that's all I could think of to keep going. Bills started piling up again and I couldn't afford food anymore. I kept it from a lot of people, but they were like, this seems really hard, and a lot of people still didn't come back. it was bittersweet. everyone knew it was the right choice for me. but there's still people to this day that like, they're like, if I win the lottery, I'm giving it to you so you can reopen a gym. people were really dedicated and there are people that say they've never found anything like what we had. I don't think you could recreate it. it was perfect. It was everything we all needed. it was so hard, but here I am now and I wouldn't be doing anything else. Firefighting is the best job ever.

Amanda:

Yeah. And what's so cool about the CrossFit community to me is that even when one box shuts down, there's another you can find because it's like the essence, right? It's the essence of the heart behind the drive. through this process, It was so fun to watch you meet the love of your life. Here's your sweet mustache husband. And your mustache man. You already knew going into that, what it was that you needed. Because somebody had challenged you to make that list. Yeah, I still have it. Was there anything that you overcame that really anchored for you that, yes, this is what I deserve? Because the interesting narrative when we can learn from our past mistakes, or if we don't learn, we tend to repeat them until we learn it. That's the beautiful gift of the universe that we have. how did you allow yourself to really receive that? how did you allow that process?

Lauren:

Our love was a slow love, when I left my ex husband and was inevitably homeless, my now husband owned the gym at the time and I was helping run it. He let me store my stuff at the gym. I was like, please can I store my stuff and sleep on the couch in the back until I figure things out. he let me, and it was like two weeks in and we didn't have air conditioning and it was super hot. It was awful. And one day while I was coaching a class, he got all my stuff out of that closet and took it to his house. Put it a spare room. when I got done coaching, I was like, where's my stuff? he was like, you're staying with me now. it doesn't make sense for you to stay at a gym. I have an empty room. There's already another girl staying there that got kicked out by her roommate. So she's like, you can stay with, you know, Dawn's in one room. I'm in one room. You can stay as long as you need. It's not a big deal. And we hung out more on a personal level. He has been hurt too. Very similar to me, a lot of terrible circumstances and he got injured in Iraq. his ex wife basically left him because he got injured and she cheated on him terrible reasons for somebody. So he struggled with love and trust for a very long time. this slow burning friendship and love that we created, we didn't even say I love you. So we got engaged six years later. That's awesome. We just let it be what it was. take its time and enjoy each other's company. one of the things that he taught me and teaches me every day is that. When he spends time with me, it's cause he wants to. He doesn't keep score. He doesn't play games. if he's in my presence, it's cause he genuinely enjoys it. if he does an act of service, which is truly his love language, it's cause he wanted to, he didn't feel like he had to, he didn't feel like it was a condition of my love. He does it because he truly wants to show me love and show me that he cares with his actions. I felt like maybe I had never felt that way with people. I think sometimes we feel forced to be around people or forced to do something. and maybe not in a bad way, just more like, Oh, I haven't done something for them. And I'll probably should do something for them or, whatever it might be. And he just doesn't do that. He's like, I don't want to do it. So I'm not doing it. But then he does so much. And so you're like, Oh, and it's like what this coaching was the same. If he gave you a compliment, like that was a beautiful squat. You were like, That was one of the planet. Cause you know what he says, he means all that stuff. that was what I realized I needed. I needed somebody that. Didn't play this passive aggressive, thing with you that didn't, bring up past mistakes you've made in an argument a year later because you did something wrong, no, he lives so in the moment and so with you when you're with him. He treats me with the utmost respect, seeing me go through all this hard times, all these good times and running a business together, he took a two year sabbatical and he, I took a solo owner of ship of the gym and he, he built out a van, traveled around the United States, visit every national park and. Boy, he'd be in Virginia and he'd text me and be like, what are you doing this weekend? I need to see you. I knew he wanted to. Then he moved to Montana to get a more steady job, which meant he couldn't see me as much. Within three months he was like, I didn't realize how much I couldn't live without you. he proposed and said he loved me for the first time. We had never held hands, we didn't kiss in public. We had a very passionate relationship, mind you. But, we never outwardly called it anything. We never outwardly told people. So it was kind of a shock for a lot of people. Like my family didn't know my close friends knew, but everyone else didn't. it was mind blowing. I think we're very public nowadays with our feelings, thoughts, and relationships. And so for someone to keep relationship pretty much secret for six years was wild, but I think it's what made us great. There was no drama. We didn't have to tell anybody about it. We were us and only us, It's more real than I've ever felt any emotion in my life. I don't know how that plays out in other people's lives. I'm not sure what that would look like, but I would definitely say you should look for those times and moments where. It feels real.

Amanda:

That's really good. And you can't describe when you know, and you see something real, even for yourself, not even just in relationship, but something that's for you.

Lauren:

Mm-Hmm.

Amanda:

it's hard to put into words. it just feels right. I believe that you inspire women to do that. Because you do it yourself. I know that Michael inspired getting into the tactical games, Did he play a role in becoming a firefighter?

Lauren:

Because when I closed the gym, a lot of firefighters we knew, specifically the ones that were at the gym, said, PFA is hiring. You'd be a great firefighter. You should do it. I always thought it sounded super cool. they do everything. Much like the CrossFit mentality of being a generalist and being just overall good at stuff, everything from handstands to weightlifting to running, all that stuff was appealing to me. I was like, Oh, I can. rescue people in water and I can put out fires and do medical stuff do CPR and save someone from a heart attack. Oh, that's great. That sounds like so many things to get good at and work on. And deliver babies. Deliver babies. But, you know, so all of that always sounded appealing to me. I just never thought I was capable. I was like, I don't have certifications. I'm not, I didn't have my EMT. I didn't really know much about firefighting. I just knew it was cool. They were super passionate about it. So when I started looking into it, he was like, why not? And I was like, why not? So immediately, I enrolled in an EMT class in LA. I had to live there for a month. we sold all of our equipment from the gym. I took that money and rented an Airbnb in LA for a month, paid for a UCLA, accelerated EMT course, Without my husband's support, that would have been impossible, I had a dog at home, I needed to fly out there. I needed that support of making it happen. And so he was just like, go get out there, go do it. I also had to drive out to Kansas to do my physical ability tests. And he drove me out there so I could rest and get ready for it and he could support me. And that's what I was meaning by he's an actions person. He doesn't just say he loves me or, Oh, I support you. No, no, no. he takes upon himself to. actively support me and actively do what I'm asking for. And even what I'm not asking for, I didn't know I needed. Along the journey, he let me do mock interviews and prep with him. even when I did get hired through Academy, That's brutal. You're just broken and tired. And he made me food took care of me and bought me Epsom salts. every single step of the way, even when it felt like I couldn't and wasn't capable he was that person that told me I could, I could visualize me as a firefighter, I saw myself in her uniform saving lives and doing the thing. And I wanted it for her. I wanted her to be proud of how hard I put in at work to get the job and then work hard at the job.

Amanda:

I love that. I really want to hit on the fact that this all started because you took the bold step and belief for your own life. Yes, it was in the context of community. on Monday talked about Brene Brown's definition of integrity, of choosing courage over comfort, and choosing what's right over what's fun, fast, or easy, and practicing your values, not just professing them. You certainly did not stay comfortable and it may have been the end of you because you were in some pretty significant depression and anxiety. At that time.

Lauren:

Yeah. Because I lost my people and my place. I mean, I was there 12 hours a day. Those were my people and that was my place and that was what I knew and it was my purpose for so long. Yeah. And then even I actually, I worked towards getting a head coach position at one of the most premier gyms in Boulder. the owner of CrossFit owns that gym. I was like, I'll just keep it up. I'll keep going. I'm good at this. I should keep doing it. then I realized Where do you go from being the owner and head coach at your own gym with your own rules and your own preferences? do you step down to just a head coach at someone else's gym? that hit me hard Especially when I was losing everything trying to replace it with someone else's thing it would have been comfortable, right? it was something I knew and it would have been okay, I guess But the more I thought about it, I realized it would have let me down. Like seeing myself as a coach there and seeing that person and being like, this isn't even your place anymore. You're just a pawn here. I didn't want that. Stepping into the firefighting role and trying to get my EMT, I don't have medical experience. So all of that was definitely a leap, a big leap, an evil Knievel type leap for me. And it was hard. And I think a lot of people, including myself, we're perfectionists in a way. we don't want to fail, like feeling sucks. And so going into something you don't know anything about, or if you're even capable of it with the fear of failure behind your back, it's scary. And I let myself be like, but that's not going to happen. I'm going to work so hard it can't happen. I let go of the perfectionist part of me. I let go of the part of me that was hoping for success and just said, it's going to happen if I fail, whatever, something else will come up and I'll make it work. And Michael and I will make it work. But if I go into this with fear, it's holding me back. It's a filter of everything I'm going to do. So I just said. I'm just going to do it. I had a moment on my couch when I hit the button to apply for EMT school. I was just like, I'm doing this, I'm doing this and then drove out that week to do the CPAT before I flew out to LA I dove headfirst with no fear. I had to let go of a lot of that.

Amanda:

speaking of your tattoos, you have a quote that you live by that inspires you. This too shall pass. Tell me about how that's a quote that you live by.

Lauren:

Yeah, so that actually started when I started therapy when I was really young, I actually have OCD not the I'm a perfectionist OCD, but the actual like real one where you have like pics and triggers and things like that. And so I've been in therapy since I was really young when I got older, I really struggled with depression it runs in my family real hard and so does anxiety. So we came up with that. because one of the things I really struggled with was Those moments that are hard, and you just keep playing them out, and you just spiral so hard. I think we all do that, to some degree, right? I mean, there were days when I'd wave to someone I knew, and someone behind them would wave, and I'm like, Now that person thinks I'm a weirdo! And then I'm like, what if that person is telling all their friends, like, this girl, she was weird, I mean, I'd spiral about anything, and it was awful, so this to shall pass was the words I would use to show myself that every this I've experienced is gone, it's in the past, it passed me by regardless of how I felt about it, so whether I spiraled or not, whether I felt terrible about it or not, it still is back there. It's behind me now. So this two shall pass to me means that this is going to be back there and I'm going to be up here being fine. I'm going to be better. I'm going to thrive as I watch it go. I think we really struggle with creating false narratives and a false reality About what happens to us instead of just letting it go, feel it, let it go, let it pass you by because this moment is more important than that moment and how we react to that moment. And that we've been through is what creates the person we become. In that next moment. So I use it a lot. Every time something happens to me I feel it. Oh, that was not really great. I might cry a little, but now I'm okay. Pass, let it pass next tomorrow. Solutions. We're creating better narratives for ourselves. We're not going to create this fantasy world where I'm like, no, this person hates me. No, I'm going to ask them. Hey, did I offend you? I felt like you made a weird face and I didn't like how that interaction went. Can we talk about it? And then if they're like, I don't even know what you're talking about. What face did I make? You didn't piss me off. I'm like, cool. Pass.

Amanda:

You don't even play it through anymore.

Lauren:

Let does take action to let it pass, But knowing that I have to be the one to do that. Otherwise I just sit in it and it doesn't go anywhere.

Amanda:

Has there been anything that's been a key factor that has allowed you to develop your endurance and your vision and your character?

Lauren:

Yeah. I think my mindset about stuff, having those internal conversations like that kind of full blown Ted talk with myself about what. I want my situation to look like and how I want to feel. Cause I think we do have a lot of talks with ourselves. we have a lot of words to say about what we do. And Michael and I, my husband, we were even just talking about this last night because I'm going to ramp up my training and I'm going to ramp up my nutrition. And I've been wanting to do that for a long time. I've been having this. Inner dialogue of really want that for myself. I want to do this and I want to look like this and I want to train like this so I can do these things. And it just sits there like that. And I keep being like, but I want to do that. it takes a mindset of So why aren't you? What's holding you back? you have the resources, you could Google it, you could look on Instagram for inspiration, but you're just sitting on the thought of I wish I could. But what mindset does is turns those wishes into, to true actions, right? what I've developed over the years is a mindset of being able to take those things and being like, I said that one too many times in my head for it not to come real. I need that to come out of my head into this world. I've been really good about that recently. I was like, why am I not doing that I better start doing it. making sure that I take things in my head. And habits and turn them into actions and actually do them and then do them consistently. I think that's the hardest part, right? Because the best day of a goal is the day you start it. You say it out loud, right? You're like, I'm going to lose 50 pounds. Wow. Awesome. Feeling good. Have a goal. You know what the next day is the harder day and the next day after that is a harder day and every day after that becomes a harder day and the goal seems a little less, do I really want that? Cause it's getting harder every day, but if you can last in your mindset every single day, knowing that that girl that was so excited to be like, I'm going to win next year, I'm going to win this thing. That was a good day. the next good day is going to be the day it happens. Everything in between is just work. It's just action on that mindset, and being like, remember those two people. Remember her, and what she wanted, and what she's gonna look like when she's like, I won! And whatever that looks like, losing weight, fixing your nutrition, getting outside more, reading more books, whatever that looks like. The day you say, I'm gonna read more books, and the day you finish your first book, that you haven't finished in 10 years, those two people, That's a lot of work in between.

Amanda:

I think that's the most amazing recap of the habits of thinking around building in the millimeters and the only way to increase confidence is through action what advice would you give to anyone who is going through a similar struggle that you've experienced your victory in?

Lauren:

I think just one day at a time, the same reason that goals take time and work is that time Is a factor in all of those things. we don't fix things right away. We don't get our goals right away. It took me a long time to build my bank account back up. And if I had just given up and been like, I guess I'm just broke now. you know, and it took saving money and it, and it was 1 at a time. I swear, but 1 a day in a year is 365, for every little bit of things we want in our lives, It's one step. it's climbing the incline one step at a time. you can't just jump up there. You can't just make it happen right now. in a world of instant gratification and pristine perfect Instagram profiles we always think that, well, I can't get there. I can't do that. And then you ask yourself, why not? And you say, why not? You take that step. Mine, put it down on paper, take it out of your head, and then you make a plan to go one step at a time. and they don't have to be big. like they always say how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. it's true, and it's hard, and it sucks because we want it right now, and we're so excited right now to open the business or to, get back to square one or to, get off our meds or, whatever it is. But that's not realistic, I think it's important to give yourself grace, but also be a little hard on yourself. don't let that step be backwards let it be forward and let each day be forward. if you accidentally take a step back or old habits die hard kind of situation, don't let that be the thing that slides you back down the hill, let it be that step catch yourself. One more step forward the next day, maybe even two steps forward the next day, So yeah, I think bite sized pieces is the best thing I can say. Take it one little bit.

Amanda:

When you achieve that victory, you become that woman. How have you learned to celebrate yourself? What does that look like?

Lauren:

Well, I think loving myself for sure. I am not apologizing for myself. I think old me was very apologetic. I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for taking up space. I'm sorry. I was in your way. I'm sorry. I made you feel a way. Super apologetic about everything. And I don't do that to myself anymore. I live loud, like scream from the mountaintops. every little thing is a win, like every time I eat my meal prep instead of going out to eat every time I complete a workout this morning, I literally stood there and was like, Way to go, lady. You did it. and it's those little wins that kind of coincide with those little small steps we're taking. And if we don't celebrate every one of those, little things it feels worthless, you know, it kind of feels like, well, what have I really done? Oh, you did something. you do something every day. You took those steps every day. And if we don't celebrate those things, it gets harder to not be excited about it, about the journey, about all those little steps. And so I celebrate myself by taking care of myself, I get my nails done. Every three weeks, self love, self care. I love to take care of myself and be girly and get my hair did and get my nails did, but true self love comes from those things I'm eating and the water that I drink and the times I go to the gym, that's celebrating yourself. That's promising yourself that you're going to take care of yourself. just like we take care of other people, for all my parents out there, I'm not a parent, but. I hear people say all the time, like, Oh, I do anything for my kids. I'm like, would you be healthy for them? would you show them what it looks like to celebrate yourself and your body and what it's capable of? Would you be willing to do that? Or are you just willing to jump in front of a car for them? what does it look like for you to celebrate, yourself in a way where longevity. becomes a part of your life and loving yourself in the long term, which means taking care of yourself. Whether that be glamorizing yourself or eating healthy or walking on the treadmill, all of that can be a celebration of life and what you deserve.

Amanda:

for those of us have daughters, it gives the next generation the permission to do the same.

Lauren:

Absolutely. To take time to be unapologetically healthy. that's important to make the time to show them that, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm busy, but I'm going to make it happen because it's important.

Amanda:

Yeah. The theme around the quote that I stand on for this show is from Howard Thurman. It says, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it because what the world needs is people who have become fully alive. What is it that makes you come fully alive?

Lauren:

I think trusting myself enough to make leaps, knowing that I'll handle anything that comes after that, whether it be failure or success, respecting myself enough to keep promises of what I want and not letting myself down. if I promise something, I'm going to hold that promise to myself, just like I would with any good friend I have. I love myself enough to say nice things about myself and be confident. And when people compliment me, I'm like, yeah, I do look good. Thank you. just appreciating the journey that I've been on. Knowing full well where I've come from and that celebration of I took all those steps I know love every moment where what i've done paid off and loving where i'm going And that future self I love her I love what she looks like. I love how happy she is. And it's because of the work I'm putting in today I can go to bed at night feeling so joyful and alive and ready to wake up to be even more so the next day, because I really like myself, I like who I've become. And I didn't always like that. I didn't always like who I was or how I was treated or how I treated myself. once we start to learn that, the one person we need to love the most is ourselves. you can thrive on that. Then we become alive. You can truly live in a body and mind that you appreciate respect and love. And then you get to share that with other people. I love sharing myself with people like that. you want to hang out with this girl because she's pretty great.

Amanda:

going into the weekend, the final thoughts I'd love to leave everybody with a mental high five, a word of wisdom from you. what is the high five that you have for everybody as they choose their own adventure coming into the weekend?

Lauren:

So I love that you picked a quote for your podcast. So I picked my own quote that I think summarizes a little bit of how I feel in a new way, this is by Steve Maraboli. He said the victim mindset dilutes human potential by not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances. We greatly reduce the power to change them. what I hear that as is be your own dang hero. you are player one. You are main character energy, but you have to choose it. you have to want it for yourself and you have to tell yourself that these circumstances and scenarios happening to you this weekend and from here on out. Are things are happening to you and you can't control them. You can't control people or their feelings or the things that occur in this world, but you can control who you are and how you react to them. if you want to save your own life and, be the hero of your own story, you got to choose it. Every day, every moment, every time we walk out of the house, every time we go to bed, every time we put food in our mouth, every time we want something, you gotta work for it. You gotta fight that good fight for yourself and be that hero.

Amanda:

thank you so much, Lauren. You have been such a delight to spend time with today. And I feel more than inspired. I was going to go on repeat in my head many, many times. This has been absolutely incredible. Thank you for sharing your time with me and with us this morning.

Lauren:

Of course. I mean, you've done the same thing for me all along. I love. All your posts and your positivity and I think you're really vulnerable which is hard in this world and that's super cool and it inspires a lot of us to share our own, selves and our truest selves and I love that about you.

Amanda:

Thank you. Thank you for taking time to listen today to leading victory. And I hope you head into the weekend with this challenge that Lauren gave us. And it was the challenge that she received. Go and make a list of what it is that you want. Where do you see your life and where do you want it to be? And what's the first step that you can take towards becoming that person and advocating for your future self. Share this with a friend. And go out every day and lead your own victory.